Royal Rumble Card and TTs

[Fauche]

Enough with all these gosh dang heels already! The crowd finally has a reason to pop when "Faint" hits the PA like Dr. Pepper hits the spot.

Kyle O'Reilly storms his way out on to the ramp like ferocious and violent like a Boss Fight against a tiger in a old Tomb Raider or something. Who's that on his left? Its The "Good Guy" Bayley and she means business. Who's that on his right? Its The "Bad Boy" Joey Janela and he's ready to stir up some trouble. Together, the trifecta makes the walk down towards the ol' ring there to join the fuss.

They each of them are already carrying some microphones - quick aside here, but can you imagine being the sound guy trying to stay on top of this many live mics? Absolute nightmare. - and once they climb into the squared circle, the Diabetic Dragon wastes zero time in getting started.

Looking from his old nemesis LA Knight to Tommaso Ciampa to this new guy Swerve Strickland to his current nemesis Tyler Breeze, O'Reilly says plainly as well as totally ruthlessly.



KO'R: I'm gonna kill each and every last one of you if it means winning this thing. I'm gonna be the first guy who wins the Rumble with guys getting carried out under the bottom rope on stretchers and in body bags.

He points a finger right at Breeze's chest.

KO'R: If you drag what's left of you to the ring after I sub you six ways from sundown, I'm gonna do you first.

Then he points at Knight.

KO'R: And you? You're last. Any part of this ring doesn't have blood on it by then, I'm gonna use yours to colour between the lines and while they're putting whatever scraps of you are left into a garbage bag, I'm gonna pointing up at that sign right there, kicking off the Road to Wrestlemania where I will get my Prizz Tizz Mizzle back.

The crowd pops again, full-throatedly rallying behind this endavour - nay - this crusade of Kyle's to win back his precious medal. What else is there so say? Risk losing it all by talking too much? Nah, Kyle's said what needs to be said, and the crew's got nothing to add. Mics are lowered. The floor is open.

[rawisrey]

Alexa Bliss: Everyone bring the noise down and pay attention to the man set to perform a feat that will make him undeniable to the world, the man set to make Kyle O'Reilly submit in the middle of the ring in the match he called for, and move on to win the Royal Rumble 8 years after he was screwed out of winning it. Your future Wrestlemania main eventer, and greatest technical wrestler of all time, ladies and gentleman it is my esteemed pleasure to inform you that...that Tyler Breeze is entering the building.



As Tylers music begins, he appears center stage before doing his model turn to the crowd and revealing his beauty to the world. As he turns to look into his 'reflection' on his phone, Alexa Bliss fixes his hair and Omos marches his way behind them. So massive that he stands out even hidden by the shadow of Breezes spotlight, once Breeze decides it's time to start moving his Breezetourage begin to follow him, all of them only set to follow wherever Breeze goes. Breeze stops at the end of the rampway and does a smug turn away from his phone to look at his 'adoring' audience, as Bliss runs off around the ring and sits on the ring apron. Tyler looks back at his phone and follows her as she stands up and twirls her legs through the ropes and fluidly makes her body follow through to the inside before stepping up to the bottom rope just as Breeze swings his legs under them to lay across the ring apron as Bliss leans over the top rope and points down at him. Bliss hops off the ropes as Breeze rolls in and stands up doing a catwalk strut down the middle of the ring before turning to the hard camera. He smugly looks around before holding out an open hand, Bliss immediately filling it with a microphone as he continues looking into his camera while speaking



Tyler Breeze: Hello everyone, Tyler Breeze here to talk to you about something important. And that is not to judge books only by the contents of their pages, because if you were to read the contents of me...You'd see the Greatest Technical Wrestler of All Time, who hasn't been pinned or made to submit in like a decade, and has been the most impressive wrestler in this company for months now. But you see that's my problem entirely, I don't want you all to think of me as some Wrestling Nerd, I want you all to judge me by the super good looking hashtag Mmm Gorgeous, three Ms, cover of my book. It’s why I don’t normally accept matches of this nature, I’m here to shine in the spotlight and when you say something like Submission match all you think of is Yuck, Booooring much?

Breeze puts his fingers up to pinch his nose closed, before he stops and continues.

But when people like Kenny O’Cera question my ability and belittle me on a constant basis, I am left with no other choice but to show him I am leagues above him and what he thinks about me. Tyler Breeze is more than just a pretty face, and it’s fine…absolutely fine…for people to underestimate Breeze in the ring. It’s how I’d actually prefer it, but when people stop their personal biases and start to truly believe these things. That’s when it stops being fun and games, that’s when I need to step in and remind people of the truth. Kenny will come out here and threaten to kill me, rip me apart, blah blah blah, but what he won’t talk about is how I’ve beaten him already one on one. He won’t talk about how in the six man tag, I had him beat until his cousin or whatever broke the count, and he most likely won’t bring up how trapped he felt inside of my Cross-Visage when I locked it on him for the first time. And that’s because Kenny can’t live in a world where someone as super good looking as me is also better at him at the one thing he’s good at, his entire world view shatters if someone like Tyler Breeze is the Greatest Technical Wrestler of All Time because to him…That’s supposed to be the uggos of the world, the little uggos who devote their lives to it like he has. But sometimes, you’re just born greater. I’ve trained with the best in the world and I just pick it up better than the DragonFaces of this world.

Breeze steps back into the corner and kicks his feet up onto the ropes laying across the top turnbuckle like a hammock.

So the dumb dumbs of the audience might think this is Kennys match to win, but that’s kinda what I do around here. I open eyes, I open eyes so that they can bare witness to my gorgeousness…And that is what the Royal Rumble is going to be all about for me. Opening eyes in the Submission match, and outwrestling the guy who has made out wrestling his entire personality. And then moving on to winning the one match that’s eluded me for a decade, so that I can open every eye possible in the main event of Wrestlemania. You all will have the pleasure of seeing the Night of Gorgeousness at the Royal Rumble, where I outlast 29 other men after making one of them submit in the middle of the ring. A feat so awe-inspiring, so legendary, that I feel it’s my duty to remind you all to pull out your phones and take plenty of pictures. You may all be shocked by what I’m capable of, so you wouldn’t want to miss your opportunity in taking a picture of the Gorgeous One while he’s doing the unthinkable.

[AndyDNU]

As McIntyre watches on, he manages to crack a half-smile which seems to indicate that he found some sort of amusement from Marseglia’s video message as he lifts the microphone back up to issue a response.

Drew McIntyre: On the contrary, Vinny. I hope that not getting the result you want at the Rumble doesn’t lead to you taking the easy way out and embarking on another extended spell away from the UWF. Because as much as it is my intention to teach you a painful and valuable lesson that night, I still want you to be in a position where you can keep coming back to work each week and are able to see first hand just how very wrong you were about the way that you envisaged this saga playing out. Besides, everyone else that’s held this championship in recent memory has seemingly vanished from the face of the earth, and I’d truly hate for you to wind up in that same boat…

The fans don’t take too kindly to the sarcastic nature of McIntyre’s follow up as his half-smile disappears and is replaced by a look of disgust.



Drew McIntyre: So no, I’ve not forgotten who or what it is that I’m dealing with here, and I’m fully aware that our last encounter was just a small taster of the destructive potential that we both knew was still to come. But whilst you can go on trying to convince yourself and everyone listening that outside interference was the only reason why you weren’t successful on that occasion, I’m looking at your recent actions towards Stokely and taking those as a sign that you’re trying to prevent any and all external factors from playing a part in proceedings this time around. In a way I can somewhat understand it, and if the nature of said actions didn’t make me sick to my stomach then dare I say I’d actually have some respect for them, but by spending so much of your time trying to break him, you’ve given yourself less time to prepare for the actual threat that stands before you, meaning that the only thing you’ll be leaving Toronto with instead of the title is the feeling of deep, deep regret.

More crowd jeers follow as the UWF Champion pauses in order to gather his thoughts again before resuming.

Drew McIntyre: It’s pretty clear to me that from spending time preparing party tricks with dozens of red balloons to sending these eerie recorded messages via the tron, your mind is indeed fixed on gaining and maintaining that mental advantage. More fool you though for thinking that being able to get away with it all so far is a sign that underneath my genuine composure lies a trembling sense of fear that I’m trying my damndest to hide away. Oh yes, I’ve seen what you’ve done to the others that came before me, and so I know the perils of falling directly into the traps you set. But me standing out here right now and adding more fuel to the fire rather than looking for any excuse to try and escape from it is proof that your intimidation tactics only go so far. Because when it comes down to inflicting real punishment, Vinny, you may well be capable of twisting me in a number of painful ways, but one thing you won’t be able to do is tear me apart completely.

The confident Scotsman lowers the microphone once again and heads over to the far corner of the ring as he waits to see what form Marseglia’s next response will take.

[Xander]

With everyone talking there was another small window where nothing was being said and it was enough for another set of music to play.

“Voices” begins to ring out to a sizable cheer from the crowd. Orton struts out slowly to the crowd going even a bit louder. Wearing just a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off he looks surprisingly casual for the weeks he’s had building up to all of this. He raises his head high and it looks like he might start walking down the ramp, but instead he looks over to Ciampa and decides to walk to the other side of the entrance stage. He pulls a microphone from his pocket.

Randy Orton: You know I was in the back just listening, trying to decide if I wanted to come out here. I mean do I really want to be just another guy stomping out here and beating his chest about all the reasons he’s going to be the winner of the Royal Rumble? I mean, why do any of us really do this? We are supposed to be men of action, but here we are like it’s a damn political campaign and the people are going to vote for who they want to win.

Orton looks out to the people who do cheer at the idea of them deciding the winner.

Randy Orton: So I was back there talking to myself and I said “Self…do you need to be out here adding to this noise? Or do you want to be that silent predator that just handles business when it’s time to kill your prey.” But my music has played, I’m out here on a microphone so you all know which side of me won. But this isn’t so much to beat my chest and tell you all how I’m going to win the Rumble, I don’t need any of you to believe I’m going to win the Rumble, I’m just going to do it. No this is more about the fact that I haven’t had an opportunity in the month since I came back to really address the locker room like this. To look most of you in the face and talk, because most of you don’t really wanna talk back there. And the little quips and backhanded things said in interviews can become confusing because everyone wants to talk in code.

Orton shrugs his shoulders a bit.

Randy Orton: I don’t want to talk in code, I want to address you all like men. And it’s getting to look a little crowded in that ring so I’ll stay up here where my only concern is maybe the one guy in this locker room hearing more voices than I am.

Orton gives the side eye to Ciampa.

Randy Orton: We all know that Swerve you and I seem to be having some kind of impasse because you didn’t like me pointing out just how stupid you debuted here in the UWF. Now, I thought I was passing along advice to a newer guy, let him know how maybe he should’ve made his first impression. But I didn’t realize a guy who names himself king before he’s done anything could be so goddamn thin skinned. Swerve your biggest problem isn’t how you are going to lose the Royal Rumble, it’s if you make it to the Rumble at all. Because you made it in the building sure as hell doesn’t mean you make it to the match when you go around picking fights with predators.

Orton turns his gaze over to O’Reily.

Randy Orton : Then there’s you Kyle, you did everything you were capable of to keep me down and still you needed his help. You put yourself on this pedestal for these people when the fact is I haven’t heard word one from you since our match. I haven’t heard you acknowledge that you didn’t win clean or offer a second opportunity. No, because whether you want to admit it or not you actually don’t care how you get your wins. You have no real code of ethics and that’s fine. God knows I’ve done enough things, horrible things, to get myself a victory. But I don’t then stand in front of these people and pretend that I don’t have dirt on my hands the same as anyone else in this locker room. There are no heroes in this industry, just men who aren’t willing to own up what they’ve done. Men who wrap themselves in this delusion of being “the good guy”.

Orton looks over to Ciampa again.

Randy Orton: You have a lot of delusions going on in that bald head of yours, but none are telling you that you are a good guy right? I look in your eyes Ciampa and I wanna say I see some kind of fury, aggression or anger brewing inside there. But what I really see is a house with the lights on and nobody home. Blind instinct and brutality only take you so far and I think you’ve realized that. You are in and out of the UWF same as me because you know something is missing that takes you to that next level. Every time you come back you think you’ve found the piece to the puzzle but you haven’t. Same old Ciampa.

Orton looks to the split screen with Cassidy and Rude.

Randy Orton: Honestly, I don’t even know what to say about the people who want to puff out their chests, talk trash but can’t even be bothered to be in the same room as their competitors. If you weren’t going to have the decency to come out here then you should shut your mouths and wait for your asses to be dumped out of the ring. You will never catch me saying things backstage I wouldn’t say out here in front of these people.

Orton strikes a pose looking at to the people as they cheer.

[Dres]

As the capacity UWF crowd awaits what’s next, suddenly the lights go out. After a moment of silence, a familiar voice is heard over the PA system.

”REVERE ME.
FEAR ME.”

As soon as these words are spoken, somber guitar music begins to play as the lights come up to a dark blue hue with smoke covering the stage.



As the vocals of, “Broken Needle” by Marilyn Manson begin, out walks Vinny Marseglia with his axe in his right hand resting on his shoulder as he takes a look to the end of the ramp and into the ring before beginning his walk down it. As he arrives at the end of the ramp, he stops and looks at Drew for a moment before continuing his walk, making his way over to and up the steel steps, then along the apron as he steps through the ropes and walks over to Drew, then past him long enough to get a microphone before returning to across from the UWF Champion as Vinny raises the microphone up to his mouth to respond in person to the words of his opponent.

Vinny Marseglia: With all the time I spent tormenting Stokely and the distance between us because of that, I’ll bet you were starting to think you were going to spend the rest of the build screaming your threats and boasts into the void and wouldn’t see me face-to-face until the match but here I am, Drew. Technically I would call our meeting on Revolution a face-to-face but you weren’t seeing anything or anyone after I sprayed you in the eyes with mist, now were you?

Vinny laughs for a moment at an unamused McIntyre before continuing.

Vinny Marseglia: You say my intimidation tactics only go so far but I want you to and I to have a moment of silence. I’m going to lower my microphone and when I do, really read the room until I raise it to my mouth again.

As promised, Vinny lowers his microphone, standing there with his axe resting on his other shoulder as he looks blankly at Drew. After about fifteen seconds pass, Vinny raises the microphone again.

Vinny Marseglia: You see the looks on their faces? They’re captivated. You feel that sensation in the air like it’s been sucked out of the room and replaced with something colder? That’s the essence, the aura, of yours truly Vinny Marseglia. I have a presence, Drew. Anyone can pull tactics. What you do is tactics. Me? I am intimidation. I embody fear. Be honest with yourself, man, you aren’t as at ease as you were before when it was just you standing out here. You’re holding on to that confidence and intense scowl you put on like they’re security blankets. Well clutch them as tightly as you can and hug that UWF Championship close, too, because there’s nothing keeping you or it safe anymore now that you’re standing in the, “Horror King”’s throne room.

Vinny lowers his microphone again as he stares into the eyes of the champion.

[Dres]

At the sound of the shattering glass, the crowd comes completely unglued as the, “Texas Rattlesnake” himself comes out from behind the curtain and makes a beeline for the ring. As he enters, he heads to each turnbuckle to throw up what’s lovingly known as the, ‘Stone Cold Salute’ before getting a microphone from a ringside official after stepping down from the final turnbuckle. As he raises the microphone up to his mouth, the cheers get louder.

Stone Cold: It’s been a long time since ol’ Stone Cold’s been in the You Dubya Eff in this here capacity. Sure Stone Cold’s been around ta’ knock back a few beers here an’ there. (What?) Stone Cold’s been around with Moondog and friends a time or two. (What?) But it’s been a long gah dang time since Stone Cold came to the You Dubya Eff and climbed in a You Dubya Eff ring ta’ open up a can of whoopass. So wouldn’t ya know it, E See Three calls yours truly up and says, “Steve, I got an open spot in the Royal Rumble if you wanna lace the boots up one more time”. And ya know what I said? I said oh…hell…yeah!

The crowd pops again as Stone Cold looks at LA Knight.

Stone Cold: And one a’ the biggest reasons ol’ Stone Cold agreed is so he could come stomp a mud hole in your arrogant ass and walk it dry! I can’t turn on an episode a’ Revolution without seein’ ya in yer stupid little sunglasses. (What?) Yer stupid little jacket. (What?) Yer stupid little jeans. (What?) Flappin’ yer gums about three times an episode! See, you an’ Stone Cold have crossed paths before, if you’ll remember, and yer ass got off easy that time but this time, the, “Texas Rattlesnake” is gonna bite you on the ass and throw ya over the top rope to the outside a’ the ring!

Stone Cold turns away now.

Stone Cold: But L….A….Knight isn’t the only piece a’ trash that brought Stone Cold back to the dance. Ya got, “Ravishing” Rick Rude draggin’ his sorry carcass in ta’ this match as well. See, Rick and the In Dubya Oh made Stone Cold’s life an’ job hell on Revolution once upon a time. Well guess what, Rick, karma’s come back after all these years and his name is the toughest ess oh bee in the history of the gah dang company: Stone Cold Steve Austin!

As the chants of, “Austin! Austin!” intensify, Stone Cold goes to continue but is suddenly cut off by…

[mattchewie]

The tron switches back to live feed at the bar. Rude takes yet another shot.

Rude: Now, which of you were worried about Orton? Sure, he put up a hell of a fight, but when it really mattered…that veteran ring presence kicked in, and I snatched away that victory. Kind of like what is going to happen at the Rumble. You see, all of those other kids are going to be out there in the ring, spouting off left and right about every opponent they can fit into their allotted time, when all they are to me are a bunch of casualties by my hands. Me?

Rude chuckles as he brushes the hair off of the shoulder of the beautiful blonde seated next to him.

Rude: I’m not even worried about it. You see, I don’t give a shit about any of the other opponents in the match. It doesn’t matter how many are in the ring at once, each one of their asses are going to get tossed over that top rope by yours truly.

[/i][/div]

Rude reaches over and grabs the hand of one of the ladies seated next to him with a “May I?” expression, the brunette gladly nods her head in agreement. Rude unbuttons his shirt and slides her hand into it. Her eyes light up as she begins biting her lips.

Rude: You feel that, hun? You tell me any person on that roster who is in as impeccable shape as I am. I’ve got a body that is chiseled out of friggin’ stone. Granted, Adonis is in damn good shape…but let’s see him keep that body in this kind of shape when he’s this age! But, I know what you’re thinking, “what does being in that good of shape have anything to do with winning that match?” I’ll tell you. It shows the determination that I have.

Rude reaches over to one of the ladies to his left and grabs her hand, placing it on his bicep. He nods for one of the ladies on his right to follow suit. Then, he strikes a pose and flexes. The looks on the women’s faces says it all.

Rude: Now, this isn’t just to impress you ladies, I did that just walking up to you. You feel those biceps? There isn’t a single man on this roster who could match my strength. Sure, there are a couple of contenders here and there, but there isn’t a single one of them that could outpower me.

Rude has to peel himself away from the ladies. He readjusts his attire before signaling the barkeep for another round, which he distributes to the ladies around him and takes a shot himself.

Rude: So, we’ve gone over conditioning and strength. I believe I covered skill while I was talking about Orton, but just in case you were wondering that. I want you to sit and think really hard about the last clean loss that I had. I haven’t been beaten clean since I’ve returned, have I? Exactly my point. So, let’s cross skill off of that list. Anyone want to bring speed into the mix? I’m not sure that speed has anything to do with it, as all it can account for in this match is giving me more momentum as I sling their ass right over the top rope. Now, what are we left with? Age? I believe I’ve proven time and time again that my age does absolutely nothing to dampen my in-ring abilities. Age is just a number, and in cases like this it only brings wisdom to the table. I’ve proven in every match, that this mind is as sharp as ever, and I’ve been able to capitalize when it really mattered. So, I believe we’ve covered every skill that there is to cover. Let’s move on, shall we?

Rude reaches down for another shot, downs it, and wipes his mustache with his sleeve. He reaches into his suit’s inside pocket and retrieves a cigar. He hands the Zippo lighter to one of the ladies next to him, who lights the cigar for him. He takes a few puffs before taking a drag off of it.

Rude: Now, let’s talk about something else that I’m really good at doing…breaking records. Most eliminations in a single Rumble, that one’s going to be fairly easy. As I’ve just got to toss out 10 guys to match the record, but I don’t just want to match that record, I want to obliterate it. So, I’m going to go on record and just say 18 will be my goal. I could be ambitious and say 29, but I’m a realist by nature. I know there will be a few tossed out by the time I hit that ring, but I can guarantee each of you ladies as well as anybody that is watching this, Rick Rude’s name is going to be all over this Rumble, and it’s not just going to be listed as the winner…my name is going to be listed for breaking records. 18 eliminations will not only break the record for most eliminations in a single Rumble, but it will also beat the cumulative total eliminations record. I’m not that concerned with the Ironman record, I’ll let Knight enjoy that, I’m sure at least one of your ladies will be lucky enough to know just how long I can last. You see, lasting the longest in a Rumble isn’t exactly that big of a feat, unless you win it. Because then, everyone will be looking at you like “you lasted that long, why couldn’t you win it?” I know this, because that’s exactly the thought that I have each time Knight runs his mouth about it.

[Cwalker]

As Rude finishes speaking, of course the Million Dollar Megastar has to chime in. 

LA Knight

Riveting as usual, Bobby! But if 'ya don't mind, L...A....Knight will get back to 'ya. There's many more important people to address.

And with that, Knight turns his attention to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

L...A....Knight must admit, this is right here is a surprise. I guess ol' Ethan decided to dust off some fossils.  How 'ya doin, Steve? L...A....Knight hasn't seen 'ya since 3/16 day. L...A....Knight kinda figured 'ya would've drank yourself into an early grave by now. But there's still time and L...A....Knight can still pray. But L...A....Knight is glad 'ya back. It seems like it's becoming a yearly tradition that some washed up has been wanting to relive their best days comes gunning for the Million Dollar Megastar. Last year, it was Spike Dudley. This year, 'ya seem to be the culprit. Well, since 'ya so openly admit to watching all of L...A....Knight's actions, 'ya should already know what happened to the little runt of Dudleyville. And if 'ya not too careful, L...A....Knight will take a page out of 'ya book and drop 'ya on that stack of dimes that 'ya call a neck. And there ain't a goddamn thing 'ya can do about that! But believe it or not Austin, 'ya ain't the one out here that bothers L...A....Knight the most.

Knight scans the ring and turns his attention to one Swerve Strickland.

That would be 'ya. L...A....Knight finds it so funny. 'Ya walk around here like 'ya own the joint. 'Ya only been here long enough to have a cup of coffee, yet 'ya truly think 'ya are about something. 'Ya want to know what L...A....Knight sees when he looks at 'ya. He sees a discount version of L...A....Knight. Let's run down the checklist, shall we? 'Ya refer to yourself in the third person. Check. 'Ya stole L...A....Knight's swagger. Check. Hell, 'ya even say 'ya changing the game. Listen here, jack, nobody changes L...A....Knight's game. And 'ya need to get that through 'ya skull quickly. 'Ya may think this is Swerve's house, but let's get one thing clear, L...A....Knight is the landlord. And rent is past due! And speaking of the past...

Knight's eyes dart quickly to Tommaso Ciampa.

If anyone fits the bill when it comes to the past, it's Tommaso Ciampa. L...A....Knight thought with all that time 'ya spent away, that maybe just maybe, 'ya would come back a little differently. A little fresher potentially. But 'ya the same old man L...A....Knight has already beaten. 'Ya the same old tired, underachieving Ciampa that Sami Zayn ran out of here. Here's the thing though Ciampa, 'ya spot has been taken. We got a new guy that brags about being Intercontinental Champion. It's the only reason we keep him on the roster if we're being honest. So L...A....Knight recommends that 'ya go back to the drawing board and find something that makes any of us care about Tommaso Ciampa. Because L...A....Knight can promise 'ya, 'ya about as useful an ice cube in the desert. 

Randy Orton, Kyle O'Reilly. Men of action. Men that would rather throw fists than mince words. 

Knight then turns directly to Kyle.

Kyle, 'ya know how this ends between us. Every...single....time. It's gotten to the point Kyle where, 'ya little "threats" have gone from being cute to being hilarious to now, they're just down right sad. But the one thing they have never been, is intimidating. And that's because for all 'ya bravado and all that pent up rage, 'ya nothing more than a boy in a man's world craving a Kit Kat. And that Kit Kat is both literal and metaphorical. 'Ya see, the Kit Kat is the Royal Rumble. And just like the actual chocolate bar, the two of 'ya just don't go together. 

Knight then looks up at the stage towards Randy Orton.

But then there's 'ya. Randy. The guy whose name says it all. And if we're being honest, he's also the guy that thinks he's going to Main Event WrestleMania. But that's not the truth, is it Randy? The truth is, 'ya probably won't even be here by WrestleMania. Because that's how 'ya roll, isn't it? The second the going gets tough, Randy bows out and heads back to St.Louis until daddy needs him to start bringing in the money again. Well Randy, L...A....Knight hopes 'ya stick around long enough so that L...A....Knight can show 'ya what a real star looks like. Because Lord knows 'ya been struggling to figure that one out 'ya entire career. 

There are two people that L...A....Knight hasn't addressed yet. And coincidentally, they are the only two people that have run their mouth so far that have actually beaten L...A....Knight. And that's Tyler Breeze and Orange Cassidy. For as different as these two are, they have a very similar thought process. Both men seem to think that a loss is going to send L..A....Knight spiraling. Cassidy has been bragging about being my downfall for months. But what the two of them need to realize...nah what all of 'ya need to realize is that L...A....Knight isn't going anywhere! L...A....Knight has fought too hard to get back to revelanncy. L...A....Knight fought too hard to earn the Number 30 spot. L...A....Knight wants this too much to settle for the semi main-event of WrestleMania again. The Million Dollar Megastar is punching his ticket this year. And L...A....Knight hopes and prays that both Cassidy and Breeze are still there when L...A....knight's music hits.

And with that, Knight lowers his mic and cedes the floor. 

[AndyDNU]

Some initial confusion fills the arena before quickly turning to excitement as the words ‘NEVILLE’ appear on the tron, indicating yet another returning superstar for the Rumble. The cheers intensify as Adrian Neville slowly walks out onto the stage with a microphone in hand. The Man That Gravity forgot signals for the music to be cut so that he may address those in attendance.

Adrian Neville: Howay, let me say right from the get go that you can take that warm welcome and you can shove it right up your arse!

All the cheers disappear and are replaced by boos as Neville somewhat shockingly makes it clear that he’s not interested in the warm welcome.



Adrian Neville: Five years I’ve been away from this cesspit, and in that time none of you have cared about where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing. So don’t bother feigning excitement at the sight of seeing me back in a UWF ring, because the ship that was once me trying to appease all of you sailed a very, very long time ago. The sole reason for my return is because in 2014 I vowed to become UWF Champion, and now a decade on I fully intend to honor that vow, starting with booking my Wrestlemania ticket by winning the Royal Rumble match.

The crowd continues to boo as Neville saunters down the ramp towards the ring.

Adrian Neville: To those of you that have forgotten, I was once the longest reigning UWF Intercontinental Champion of all time and the reason why people used to tune in to watch Thunder; the best thing going at the time I might add. Then the company landscape changed and just a few years later, Rick the bar creep came along, broke said record and has been riding off the feat ever since in order to remain relevant. I did get that title back five years ago though, and to this day I still have the longest official combined Intercontinental title reign out of anyone in history. But I’ve not come back for that gold, and I’m more than happy for Rick and Orange Flaccid-y to go out and beat themselves senseless for it, because I’ll be the one on hand afterwards to dispose of what remains of both of them on my way to a shot at the big one.

Neville pauses for a moment to walk around the outside of the ring before climbing up the steel steps on the far side in order to position himself on the ring apron where he can see everyone that’s inside the ring and on the stage.

Adrian Neville: And then that just leaves the rest of the rabble. A mixed bag of has-beens and never-will-be’s. You know even after an extended period of absence from the Revolution scene, I can still wrestle rings around each and every one of you, and what better way to prove it than in a match like this where it takes expert use of all the necessary tools in order to be successful. Some of you probably doubt my chances based on the fact that I’ve been away for a considerable amount of time, but just because I’ve been absent doesn’t mean that I haven’t been watching all of you and studying how best to counter your strengths and expose your weaknesses. So you’d all do well to trust me when I tell you that I’ve got this.

The former two-time Intercontinental Champion doesn’t appear short of confidence in his own abilities as he continues to boast about his chances of victory.

Adrian Neville: And because I’ve got this, I therefore have to apologize for the fact that the rest of you are going to miss out. You see me coming back from out of the shadows in order to bring a ten year journey to a close is really gonna suck for someone like you LA when it’s clear just how desperate you are to win after falling at the final hurdle last time. I could also echo similar sentiments for you Ciampa… Within touching distance of a Rumble victory two years ago and then fumbling your opportunity at the strap twelve months ago, so near yet so far. Then of course there’s Swerve… You and I share common ground in that we’re both competing in a Rumble match for the very first time, and so you understandably want to make a pretty big impression. I feel it’s my responsibility to advise you to keep a lid on those expectations though, because whilst you might think that this is your house, I know that this is my year!

The only person that Neville appears to be convincing with his words is himself, as the crowd and presumably all the other Rumble participants think he’s full of shit. The doubts from others certainly doesn’t seem to be deterring him though.

Adrian Neville: So that just leaves a final quick fire round of apologies for the rest of you. Starting with you Austin, I apologize for the fact that I will not allow you to celebrate my historic victory by drinking excess amounts of cheap, crap beer… Breeze, I apologize in advance for any additional damage caused to your annoying face when I eliminate you… O’Reilly, I apologize to your Granna for the amount of tissues that she’s gonna have to get through on account of the amount of sobbing she’ll be doing when she sees you lose, again… And Orton, I apologize for playing a part in sending you back to the land of obscurity… I apologize to every single one of you for being too damn good and proving that in spite of all your combined abilities and accomplishments, you’re still not on the Neville level!

The cocky Englishman stretches his arms out wide, leaving the door open for someone to respond.

[Evolution J]

The scene opens with Carmelo Hayes and Trick Williams walking into the arena as they see the camera right in front of them

Trick Williams: What’s up Canada, It looks like we got a huge party. Things are getting up man. Oh boy, we made it to the party. Everyone, your hero have finally arrived. But before we address what is going on around here. It kinda stink around here. What ya mean.

Both Carmleo Hayes and Trick look at each other.

Trick Williams: I believe everyone here really stuck up the room. Damn. No wonder it kills the vibe in this room. Ya know we have been in the back listening to ya’ll. We were chatting about how none of ya got a real chance at the Royal Rumble. We already know there is going to be only one winner. That will be none other than the future himself. Why you ask? Let’s hear the main man explain to ya.

Carmelo Hayes: Yo. Trick is right. I see alot of people that can be easily eliminated from the Royal Rumble. I already see the pressure is getting to y'all. As for me, I am all good. I ain’t sweating at all. You're already sweating bullets every time you see me in the ring. But guess what. That is right because ya’ll be worried about me. You all are already looking at the future right here and right now. Y'all ain’t nothing but obstacles that is about to be taken down easily. I got something planned for ya’ll.

Here is something I cooked up for ya’ll to hear.

The hero is here to save the day.

I'll be checking my list and checking it twice.

The future is here to slay the past and present.

That man is none other than Carmelo Hayes.

I'm fresh, young, smooth and fly.

I am so untouchable that I shine before ya eyes.

This isn’t Swerve’s house because the only thing he owns is the retirement home.

Swerve watches old men Rick Rude and Eric playing a game of chess.

Tyler Breeze is busy preparing to become the next Troye Sivan.

Jamie Hayter is too busy getting her make up done that she couldn’t bother to show up.

Sami Zayan running around in Canada with his fake Forever Championship belt trying to convince them he is the next Jeffrey Epison.

Randy Orton is here trying to get his Predator stripes back and redeem himself.

He doesn't know he ain't nothing but a prey and I am the new Predator.

Ciampa acting like a cranky old man at a old nursing home yelling at the television.

Kyle O'Reilly is trying to audition to be a motion Capture actor in one of those Street Fighter games.

Mr. Latino Heat is busy selling those drugs back in Mexico again with his baby mama.

LA Knight talking and repeating himself like a parrot saying Yeah. Knight isn’t winning for sure because the only thing he won is a trip back to LA.

TV Champion Mighty Caleb is busy auditioning to become a real Viking in the next Thor movie.

Ricochet went off into retirement again after losing to Hayter last week.

Taking the orange out of Orange Cassidy and turning him into lemonade.

I am coming in like a hurricane and wiping everyone out like a tornado.

Knocking out people left and right like Mike Tyson.

Having everyone recognized greatness standing right before them.

Preparing myself to win championships like Michael Jordan.

Shooting three points like MJ.

Knocking Roman off as the new head of the table.

Flying into the ring like the Blue Blazer.

Touchdown like as if I won the Super Bowl.

Everyone missing shots while I hitting them shots like a champ.

Punching my ticket to WrestleMania like I won the lottery.

Keeping my eyes open for the Boogie man and Scottish.

Standing and having my hand raised as Royal Rumble winner and future UWF champion.

That's a wrap.

If you didn't get the message yet. Let me make it real simple for ya’ll to understand. Get it in all your thick heads. Ya’ll ain’t ready for this. Ya’ll better recognize that nobody is paying any attention to the past and present anymore. They only pay attention to the present and they already see the future. If ya’ll just open your eyes and stop pretending to be blind like Helen Keller. You will already be staring at the future. Because greatness is standing right before your eyes. Ya’ll better believe I absolutely can do anything that comes to mind to do the impossible. I'll be the only man to last in the ring longer than any other competitor. I will use any tactics I know to do whatever it takes to win. You all have no choice ot acknowledge the truth that this isn’t your year. This year will belongs to only one person and you all are staring at him. I shall show you all that you can’t touch this. I am undeniable one of the future greatest UWF superstars of all time. I got everything you all lack. That is pure true greatness. Everything I touch turns to gold. Better yet, I will show you why I am way more capable of being championship material when I pin your shoulders down for the three count tonight. I am gonna make you all famous when I win tonight. When that bell rings, I get my hand raised by the referee. Ya going to realize that tonight isn’t your night. Ya going to realize that it is my night to shine. you would admit that tonight won’t be about you. It is going to be about me because UWF belongs to the future. Just remember whenever I shoot, Melo doesn’t miss. Tonight, say hello to your future UWF champion and the winner of Revolution……Him!

Carmelo Hayes is smiling and laughing with Trick Williams while he waits for a response from the other royal rumble participants.