Post by Danny on Aug 31, 2018 2:18:01 GMT -6
Once the video ends, pyro goes off all around the arena, the camera panning through the crowd showing the excited faces of the UWF faithful. The whole crowd seemingly chant "UWF! UWF! UWF!" in a never ending fashion. The camera then cuts to ringside where Tom Phillips, Corey Graves and Mauro Ranallo are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm here with my broadcast partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Corey Graves: Insurexxtion is right around the corner but boy do we have some great matchups tonight. In the main event, Vampiro faces off against Chris Jericho and Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler will join us on commentary!
Tom Phillips: Thats sure to make things chaotic. Speaking of chaotic, Vinny Marseglia goes one on one with The Miz, two very different people which should make for an interesting match.
Mauro Ranallo: And Marseglia's opponent at Insurexxtion is also in a match tonight when he faces off against Matt Sydal who managed to score a big victory over Bray Wyatt last week.
Corey Graves: Plus we have the return of Sami Callihan. I saw this guy back in my Thunder days and he's no joke but he's got a tall task in the former UWF Champion Dolph Ziggler.
Tom Phillips: Speaking of returns, let's go down to ringside for the return of the Television Champion, Dalton Castle!
Just as the fans relaxed a bit from the last exciting action they saw the beloved Queen song "I want it all" starts to play and the fans scream out in joy for the return of the charismatic peacock
I WANT IT ALL
I WANT IT ALL
I WANT IT ALL
AND I WANT IT NOW
the fans sing along.
The famous guitar riffs from Queen's "I want it all" plays and the crowd breaks into a mix of cheers and screams for the charismatic peacock Dalton Castle.
not so long after the song starts playing Castle and the Boys come out of the curtain, yelling and screaming like only peacocks can, Dalton takes some extra time posing and taking in the crowd's emotions and energy, but just as he's about to continue with his entrance, his music stops and gets replaced with a weird, gentle desolate wind sound.
The confused Dalton turns around to the boys to see if they did something but they look as confused as Dalton is, even more so, they look.... afraid.
the wind is still going on and Dalton makes his way to the rings, the boys just behind him, he grabs a mic that was left for him in the ring and he looks pissed.
just as he picks up the mic, the wind stops and the music changes to one, silent and powerful sentence.
KAZE NI NARE
In the second the sentence is heard two hooded figures jump over the barricade and enter the ring to attack a boy each and they take them both out, Dalton sees that and he fights back, punching and suplexing them but their hood stays on.
Dalton continues to fight against the two figures and just as he's starting to get some steam, another figure, this time with a towel on his head slowly walks down the ramp, Dalton doesn't notice him, and he enters the ring between the top rope and middle rope, he takes his towel down to reveal Minoru Suzuki!
he gives Dalton a shivering stare and immediately locks him in the sleeper hold! the surprised Castle passes out quickly but Suzuki keeps it locked in for what seems like forever, he finally lets go of the hold but just to spin Dalton into the Gotch-style piledriver!!
He picks up the mic and looks at the crowd who stayed in silence the moment he entered the ring.
"Hunting season has begun, the prey: UWF, the hunters: us
he stops to take another look at the crowd and he continues
We are Suzuki-gun! ICHIBAN!
Minoru drops the mic on Dalton's almost dead body on his way out of the ring and the hooded figures follow, he exits the ring and his infamous theme song starts playing.
As they walk down the ramp Minoru turns around to the ring to watch Castle and the boys struggle to get up, he laughs to himself and continues to walk up the ramp.
They reach the top of the ramp and the song is about to reach its peak, they turn around to face the crowd just in time for THE line, the whole crowd screams together with the song.
KAZE NI NARE!!!!!!
And only then Suzuki-gun walks to the back and EMT's go to take Dalton and the boys to the nearest hospital and the show goes on.
The scene opens up on what appears to be a graveyard as there sits Vinny Marseglia with his back turned to the camera, his mask and axe placed next to him.
Vinny Marseglia: In four nights, the “Horror King” Vinny Marseglia makes his pay-per-view debut for the Ultimate Wrestling Federation. That’s an occasion that I’m looking forward to with the anticipation that a child might await a holiday or a parent might await a special birthday. In my opinion, it can’t get here fast enough, and I know that my fans feel the same way but my opponent on the other hand, well, he’s dreading Insurrextion’s arrival with great intensity. With each day that brings us nearer to the event, the more claustrophobic he feels. He’s had March the fourth circled on his calendar since our match was announced, and he curses it every day because inevitability isn’t something that’s worked against him before.
Marty can’t stomach the fact that in half a week’s time, his life is going to change in a way he never anticipated it changing. In his mind, it isn’t supposed to happen this way. At Judgment Day, he retained his title against two opponents so how can he possibly fail against one? Not to mention, he’s had a longer career in this profession as a whole as well as the UWF, so how can he lose to a rookie? How does someone appear on the program one day and proceed to, in a short number of weeks, outdo him at what’s supposed to be his own game and then play it better?
They’re rhetorical questions, of course, because since he lived getting outdone at his own game, he knows how I did it. And he knows how someone with less time in the industry and this company is going to beat him, because I’ve already done it. And if he’s honest with himself, he knows how one man is going to do what two couldn’t as well. At Insurrextion, the table is set for me to succeed because I have too many advantages at my disposal to fail, and not just because of the stipulation.
In beating Marty in every form and fashion he thought he was adept at, I have climbed into his head and sent things like doubt and dismay through him like a gangrene. So while he may fight come Sunday, there can only be one outcome because I’ve done too much mental damage and will go on to do too much physical damage for things to play out in any other way. But that’s not to say he’s given up...
Vinny stands up.
Because despite all of those realizations slapping him in the face and the stress he’s under as a result, there’s still a stubborn part of him that won’t accept those truths, a part of him that’s convinced that there’s a way to thrive despite the advantages and leverage I have over him. And it’s that part of him that’s going to be the reason why he tries to get his revenge tonight and cost me my match much like I cost him his last week.
Maybe Miz puts him up to it as a way to get the win without putting his wife in harm’s way. There’s no true way to know until it actually happens, I just want the both of you to know that I’m prepared if it does.
Vinny picks up his axe and holds it so that the back of the steel is resting on his shoulder.
That’s an ability that both of you lack. You have one track minds and can only focus on one thing or person at a time as a result. Marty lost to Vampiro because of that flaw and now you’re going to go down that same path, Miz, because along with your match with me you have to interview Sheamus and Bobby Roode. So right now you’re racking your brain over how to ask the questions that are going to make for an interesting scoop while at the same time avoiding saying something that’s going to get your head kicked off or driven into the mat. Couple that with the fact that I’ve taken residency up there and that’s quite a crowded head you’ve got, clouded with thoughts you can’t navigate through or refocus in order to get the job done in the ring.
Vinny places his axe in his other hand and shifts it to the opposite shoulder as he picks up his mask and slides it over his face.
By the way, everyone has something to lose, Miz. That’s how they end up here.
Vinny raises the axe from off of his shoulder and swings it downward so that he’s now holding it at his side as he begins to walk forward, things heading elsewhere once he’s all but disappeared in the distance.
Images start to flash across the screen as we see Bray Wyatt in some kind of room with fog all around him sitting in his rocking chair going back and forth, whispering to himself
"Sister Abigail once told me that there is two types of people in this world. Those who lead and those who follow. Now she saw something in me that she didn't see in her other followers. She turned to me one day and said "Bray Wyatt, you will lead these people into the promise land when I eventually leave this world. And to those your find that defy you, you will make them learn to follow or destroy them" Sister Abigail was always right and after she left this world I took those word to heart. I went around the world teaching the word of truth and conquering everything that stood in my way. That leads me to you... Matt"
Bray starts to laugh at himself
"You see Matt you didn't win last week oh no, you merely survived. I'm also sure that after you won you got down on your knees like most of these mere mortals do. And started to pray and say thanks to a God that you think gives you strength and will to get your though your pathetic lives. Well I'm here to bring you right back to my world. Those Gods that you were told about are all lies. LIES. Everything that you hold dear are all based on fairy tales and stories. That is why I was brought to this world to brings these lies and fairy tales to the light. Because Bray Wyatt is no fairy tale I am here in the flesh made of blood and skin, I breath in and out and I stand right before you. And once you realize that you have nothing to believe in anymore, just take my hand. Once you do you will be taken to the promise land like Sister Abigail says. But if you still don't believe in the truth that I am telling you them your soul will be sentenced to... DESTRUCTION. But once you are ready to make that choice, finding me is not that hard. Just look up towards the sky and follow the buzzards."
The images go across the screen again and we go to black
The slow manipulated music of Marty Scurll’s theme starts playing as the arena is hit into darkness. The vivid images of his attire appear on the screen, which are infamous with The Villain.
Crowd: “WOOP WOOP”
The crowd chant along with his theme and as soon as they do, Marty Scurll runs through the curtain with the signature umbrella slung over his shoulder. He paces around the top of the stage as a pure negative reaction is greeted towards him.
Ring Announcer: “From Cambridge, England, weighing in tonight at 183 lbs, “The Villain” Marty Scurll!”
He walks down the ramp quickly and efficiently and looks at the crowd, checking his surroundings slightly. He taps his Television title for good luck then gets near to the ring.
He climbs onto the apron, looks into the ring with slight disdain. Ready for his match in his natural negitive mood.
He climbs through the ropes that he has became utterly familiar throughout his wrestling career with. He’s ready and ready to chicken-wing.
He places his umbrella, coat and glasses in the corner and holds his title high. Ready for this bout.
Right Now by SR 71 blares over the p.a. system and Matt Sydal jogs out to the stage greeted by a ubiquitous pop from the fans. He raises his arms with a peace sign and jogs down the ramp high-fiving fans until he reaches the end of the aisle. He executes his signature slide through the bottom ring apron( which Ember moon also uses). He raises his arm with a peace sign again and transitions into a standard martial arts fighting pose. Suddenly Scurll comes up from behind him and nails him in the back of the head with his umbrella! The ref immediately back Scurll away and checks on Sydal. Marty raises his umbrella up high, which was broken from the force of the blow to a thunderous amount of boos. The ref asks Sydal if he wants to call off the match but he shakes his head no. The ref reluctantly goes with his wishes and calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING DING
Tom Phillips: How can this match possibly go on?
Corey Graves: You heard Sydal just like I did, he wanted this and The Villain is going to give it to him.
Sydal tries to get himself situated in the corner but Marty comes running over with a dropkick in the corner. Sydal is clearly out of it and so Scurll lifts him up onto the top rope. He goes up under him and grabs both arms, bringing him out of the corner with an inverted crucifix. He walks him towards the center of the ring before dropping with with the Bird of Prey! If Sydal wasn't out yet, that's sure to be it as Scurll goes for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
NO! Scurll picks up Matt's head up off the apron!
Tom Phillips: Oh Come on now, this match is over!
Corey Graves: This is about sending a message to Vinny Marseglia. He wants to go hardcore, The Villain will show no mercy!
Scurll grabs Sydal's limp body and locks in the Crossface Chickenwing! The ref doesn't even bother checking Sydal, instead immediately calling for the bell.
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Marty Scurll!
Marty keeps the hold locked in after the bell, a crazed look coming across his face. The ref tries to pry his arm free but Scurll continues to wrench on the limp body of Sydal. Finally after about 10 seconds, he lets go and kicks away the body of Sydal, standing up and demanding his title be brought to him. Once it is, he raises it high and mouths some words to the camera, speaking directly to Marseglia. Officials from ringside tend to Sydal as the live feed goes elsewhere.
As Revolution continues, the feed cuts to footage of another one of UWF's house shows. Once again, we're shown footage of Sheamus after what seems to have been a tiring match. He grabs a microphone and steps out of the ring, talking to the crowd.
Sheamus: I got something I want to get off my chest, ladies and gents, so let me have it. Insurrextion's coming up, and as you know, I've got a real challenge coming with it. Any of you like Bobby Roode? No?
The crowd boos, causing Sheamus to throw a hand up as though in exasperation before he nods a few times.
Thought not. That means nobody's going to get offended, then. Not that it matters too much. Bobby Roode, is...well, to put it straight, he's an arsehole. He's a talented wrestler and devious prick. I've given him a lot of credit recently, and I'm sure everyone remembers that but him. Of course, the dumb bastard's just a bit too blinded by his own anger. He can only see that title. Not me, not anyone beyond, just the title. Now, you might think that's a good thing. That a fella can have a vision, the ambition to go for it and the drive to keep moving. It ain't that simple, not with a man like him.
Sheamus shakes his head, now beginning to pace a little bit near the announcer's table as he speaks aloud into the microphone some more.
No, not at all. You see, all he cares about is the glory. He doesn't love what he does, he doesn't care about it or what's beyond that. The only thing Bobby Roode will bleed, sweat and cry for is Bobby Roode, and his reputation. And in the end, when things stop going his way, when enough wrestlers figure out how to plant him face down on the mat, he'll fade away like the rest. Men like him don't usually last a week in this business. It's just all that talent and all that pent-up insecurity that's kept him going. He still brings up the Royal Rumble, from how long ago? Roode is the kind of a man that holds a grudge, he never forgets. Me? I just move on to the next fight.
Sheamus grins a little bit, moving over and staring into the hardcam as he speaks this time.
Sheamus: Let me make that clearer for ya, fella. At Insurrextion? Once my boot's been in your face enough times that you won't get up again, they'll step right over you. Nobody's been able to stand in my way before, and you won't now.
The crowd cheers as the Celtic Warrior gets very pent up, his face slightly red. We cut away once again, going to the UWF title card flashing by for a moment before we return to the regular Revolution schedule.
The titantron switches from the UWF Revolution graphic to a feed from... somwhere... probably backstage. It's dingy and dimly lit, and what is visible is grimy as all hell. Like an alley you wouldn't want to wander down maybe. Someone's there, tho. The crowd can't tell who it is at first, but when he steps into the light, his scowl gives his identity away...
Sami Calliahn, The New Horror. Formerly the man behind the T.I.O.C., at one point known as Solomon Crowe, and notorious as being a purveyor of havoc unlike most any other wrestler the UWF has ever seen. Sami's scathing glare pierces through the lens as he speaks.
Callihan: Look what the cat dragged in, huh? Bet you didn't think I'd be back here again. I must be a sight for sore eyes. But here I am. Sami Callihan back in the UWF. It's about time, too.
Doesn't matter where I've been the past few years, what matters what was done to me last time I was here. I worked my ass off just to get a shot in that ring, and once I got it, I worked twice as hard to keep it. Didn't mater who I was fighting, when I was fighting 'em, or what gimmick they put me through. I showed up for all of it. All the goddamn carnage. Hell, I even beat up mom in there, remember that?
What did I get for it though? Set on fire. No, for real. The Cartel tried to burn me alive. And that screwed me up so much that I spent the next year trying to put myself back together while this company sold me as a freakshow. When that got old I got kicked to the curb... how you think I felt about that?
Callihan lets the questions sink in before continuing.
I'm not here to make things right. I'm not here for revenge or for validation or for a second chance at being famous. Naaaaah... only reason I came back is because the UWF got soft and needs some life kicked into it. Ya'll need some real violence around here. Just so happens that I've got anger pent up here in my chest too. I figure we can kill two birds with one stone. You scratch my back, I scratch yours, know what I mean?
That all starts with Dolph Ziggler. I don't give a shit about this Sweet 'n' Sour thing, that's just the deal I had to make with the devil. Larry Sweeney can do what he wants, long as he stays outta my way. But Dolph... kid... you're right in my way. You're first.
I wasn't around long but I've got the scars to prove I was. You're a good looking guy and I can't figure out how you'e been around the block so many times and still have such a purdy face. Makes me feel like you haven't really earned anything yet. I'm wondering if you've ever been in a real fight.
He scratches his chin thoughtfully.
Tonight's your lucky night, cause I'm gonna make sure you get a fight. A true fight. Some of that real violence. Forget pins and submissions, bro. The referee is gonna have to pull me off whatever scraps are left. I'm fixin' to paint the town red. My big comeback, and I'm gonna decorate it with whatever I pull off of you, Dolph.
Now all you people watching at home, well, maybe you oughta change the channel. And all you folks here live, maybe take your kids out to the concession or to buy a t-shirt, cause what's about to go down ain't family friendly, and it sure as hell ain't PG or PC. I'm the New goddamn Horror. I'm gonna turn that ring into a living nightmare. I'm not talkin' sports entertainment - it's gonna be a brutal, vicious massacre, and only one man's walkin' outta there.
Callihan pushes the camera away as he storms off. The feed cuts out and Revolution continues.
The camera fades in to the ring, now decorated with a black carpet-like surface draped on the mat and four chairs looking straight out of a hollywood lot in the center, 2 on one side of the ring and 2 on the other. There are two TV screens, one behind each of the chair sets, with the Miz TV logo being shown on them. Already in the ring is The Miz and Maryse, sitting in the chairs closest to the entrance ramp.
“Welcome, everyone, to THE most must-see talk show in UWF history, this is yet another awesome episode of Miz TV! I am your illustrious host, The Miz, and alongside me is my wonderful wife Maryse, and tonight, we are here to talk to two of the top talents in the UWF today...outside of myself, of course.-”
Miz flashes a smile as he continues on.
“-Anyhow, allow me to introduce to you all one of the toughest men in the UWF, he is the current UWF Champion, Sheamus!”
The lights go dark and the theme of Sheamus begins to echo in the arena, slowly building up. As the intro reaches its climax, the lights go completely dark before the stage is brightly lit with spotlights pointing towards Sheamus, standing on the stage with his arms outstretched and fists clenched.
Sheamus: Faugh a ballagh!
With his music now playing at full blare, Sheamus walks down the ramp with the crowd cheering and yelling. He walks down the ramp with a serious look on his face, licking his lips as he stares toward the ring. Reaching behind him, he unclips the belt adorning his waist and begins to carry it in one hand.
Quickly turning and walking up the steps, Sheamus walks across the apron, turning to face the crowd and once again spreading his arms, fist clenched with the title held high as he lets loose another war cry in their direction, much to their delight. With a grin on his face, Sheamus steps between the ropes and sits down in the chair closest to the entrance ramp.
"Well, Sheamus, now that you're here, I got a few questions for you: How does it feel to be pale enough to be classified as a vampire? How are you still a fan of Liverpool with them being 3rd place after Man. City and Man United? What hair gel do you have to use to get that abomination of a mohawk to stay up? And what are your thoughts on Bobby Roode being your opponent at Insurrextion?"
The crowd boos Miz as he finally stops talking, the fans infuriated at Miz's insults to Sheamus.
Sheamus stares at Miz in almost a bit of confusion after his questions, tilting his head and leaning back in the chair. The UWF Champion purses his lips before he lifts the microphone.
Sheamus: Well, let's see here. The pale works for me. Nobody on the roster can say they didn't see me coming, when I barrel over 'em, at least. Helps the title stand out too, you know? Helps reflect the shine. As for the mohawk...well, it's Got 2 B, Fella. I'm not the kind of man to ask for a sponsor, but it's good stuff. At least...when you ain't hiding any receding hairline or anything.
Sheamus stares up at the Miz, eyeing his head as he does a motion of combing back, implying that the other Superstar has to do that with his hair.
Sheamus: Let's get onto the good stuff. So, about Liv-
The crowd boos loudly all of a sudden, catching Sheamus off-guard as he looks at them with another confused expression.
What, we don't like football in here all of a sudden?
The crowd boos again, and begins to chant 'Soccer' towards the Celtic Warrior, giving him a bit of a chuckle as he waves them off, slightly nodding along with their antics.
Sheamus: Alright alright, the actual good stuff. Bobby Roode. I'm sure you've noticed by now that he's one up on me, at least in terms of an actual match. The man's a damned good athlete and he's a pretty good technical wrestler. But I ain't worried. For a couple reasons. When it comes to the big night, the fight that really matters, I've always been in a different zone. You and everyone here's seen that before. Aztec Warfare, Judgement Day. I won the belt, and proved why I deserved to have it when I beat Ziggler in that ring. But that's old news, anyway. Like I always say, it doesn't matter what you did before. What matters is what you're doing now.
The crowd begins to cheer again for Sheamus as he adjusts in his seat, tapping the microphone gently against his chin and trying to think of what else he wants to say.
Roode's got speed, stamina, athleticism. Any other kind of place, he'd be on top for decades and never lose. But he's not in any other kind of place. He's in the UWF. Where men like me are skulking about, ready to tear his head off of his shoulders. I underestimated Bobby Roode. That's on me, and I paid for it. I underestimated how much he wants to win, how hungry he is. Plenty of men like him, they're all talk. When push comes to shove, they just don't have the balls to back up what they say. They don't have the backbone, the brass to stay in the ring and keep fighting no matter what I do to 'em. When it comes down to just a fight, it doesn't matter how well you scored points in wrestling training, or if you know a wristlock from a wristwatch. It's about getting up, again, and again. Getting up, looking the other bastard in the eyes who put you there and daring him to do it again. So yeah, I'm confident about Bobby Roode. We'll see if he's different from the rest when we actually get in the ring.
Sheamus has leaned forward as he was speaking, before he eventually rears back and sits back in the chair once again, remaining quite still as he regains his composure, and the serious expression across his face goes back to the sarcastic half-smile he was showing before.
Miz applauds Sheamus a bit, not with claps but just the visible look that screams "good job" to the audience. He lifts the mic up, ready to speak again, when...
GLORIOUS
NO I WON'T GIVE IN
I WON'T GIVE IN
'TIL I'M VICTORIOUS
AND I WILL DEFEND
I WILL DEFEND!
As the lights go out and piano sound hits, it means only one person: Bobby Roode! The two time Universal Champion! Roode is poses when spot lights hit at him, as he is surrounded by that smoke on the ground. Then he gets his arms down but a few seconds later he gets his arms up once again as "ROODE" is written now on titantron. Roode then steps down and walks down the ramp slowly, strutting for one time. He gets on the steps and walks up slowly before stopping on apron and having a look at the fans, his disgust can be seen from his face as he sees those pathetic people. Roode then breathes the air in his lungs deeply and pulls the ropes. "The Glorious One" enters the ring before bouncing off the ropes chest first and turning around himself before posing GLORIOUS as lights are on him once again, this time in the ring. It is clear that Roode's lips move as "No I won't give in, I won't give in 'til I'm victorious" part comes along. As Roode poses in the ring...
the music fades out, and Roode sits down in the chair next to Miz and grabs a microphone, but before he can say anything Miz interrupts.
"Hey, Bobby, you can't just interrupt me like that! I'm the host here, and when I want the guests to come out I'll bring them out. But, seeing as you're out here, I have a few questions for you. You heard how confident Sheamus is about his match against you, so I guess I'll ask you, how do you feel about the match on Sunday? Especially with his quick dismissal of your glorious victory over him. Hell, I don't even think that he believes you're anywhere close to the level of glorious that you so-commonly say that you are!"
Miz sits back, waiting to see the reactions of Roode and Sheamus.
Miz... Look, I was excited to be here on Miz TV but it sucks to be here in...
Roode stops and asks Miz which city this is but before he gets his answer, he starts to talk again.
Doesn't matter. Gonna call this place "Shitty."
Roode gets booed so much as he doesn't even mention the name of the city.
Get it? Oh, sorry. This joke was as lame as Sheamus' words a few minutes ago. Like really, what was that? I was about to sleep in the back. It was the classical bullshit. "My opponent is good but I am better and I will retain" bla bla bla. Who gives a crap huh? You know what sucks worse than Sheamus, his look and this city? Sheamus on a live mic. Because all he can say is stereotype things and that he can fight a bear. Congrats Sheamus but you have a tougher opponent this time, BOBBY F'N ROODE!
Roode lowers his mic and gets booed even more.
I don't care if he believes if I am truly glorious or not. I don't need his pathetic idea. I barely listened to that speech as well, I wouldn't have know it if you haven't said it. But lets forget about all that crap. Let's forget about what you have said. And about your questions Miz... Let's be real, okay? Let's forget all the formality. Let's forget about the respect. Sheamus, you want a fight? You can be damn sure that I will bring the best fight of your life you son of a bitch! You stand here like you are the toughest man on the earth. This ring is no bar that you fought in Ireland. You may have descimated Dolph Ziggler in this ring but I have outsmarted him, twice. And I am going to outsmart you as well. Because you think a fight is only here [raises his fist] but it actually goes in here [points his head]. Deciding what move you are going to do, analysing your opponent and beating off his attacks after that. But all you have an instinct right? A fight instinct. You are piteous. From students of the game to this... From Ric Flair, Arn Anderson... To this. This brainless pathetic humanbeing.
Roode shows Sheamus as he stops and gets booed.
Enough of Sheamus... Sunday? Insurrextion? I have one and one goal only. To win. To have that title around my waist before the grandest stage of them all. And if I can't... That means I am not really Glorious... But I know that I am! I know I am going to win that title. I told it before, nobody listened. And I am telling this once again. Next time on Miz TV, I will be here as the new UWF Champion! But because of the poor treatment I had here, I don't think I would be on this show once again.
Roode looks at Sheamus.
And I don't think that this guy will be here once again because after sunday, all he will be is a memory, a name in history books. A name who will only fall down after Sunday. After he learns that I am absolutely...
Roode doesn't go on but crowd screams GLORIOUS despite the hate. Roode lowers the mic as he gets closer to Sheamus. Sheamus gets up and they end up face to face. The crowd get on their feet, getting ready to witness these two go at it. Sheamus however cracks a smile and backs away. Bobby throws his head back to do his Glorious pose but Miz shoves Sheamus from behind right into Roode! Sheamus truns around to confront The Miz but Roode attacks him from behind thinking he just tried to cheap shot him. The two men start to brawl all around the ring, turning chairs over and almost breaking the TV set until Miz has it moved up higher.
Sheamus gets the better of Roode as a seasoned brawler but Miz suddenly gets involved by chop blocking Sheamus in the back of the knee! Roode takes advantage by grabbing Sheamus by the head and lifting him up for the Glorious DDT! Miz applauds him as Roode walks over and grabs the UWF Championship. He wraps it around his waist and finally gives the crowd his signature Glorious pose to a loud amount of boos as the scene fades out.
The feed takes us to some B-roll of the exterior of the UWF Performance Center, followed by some wrestlers sparring in the ring before it finally settles on a cross-armed Triple H, who seems to be unimpressed with whatever he's watching.
Triple H: I tell ya, when Carter hired me? I was as shocked as anyone. But now I see why he did it: he knows that being down here, helping these kids, showing them all how to go is a special kind of torture. Ever since he took over NXT, you could tell Carter's had that itch to get back in the ring. You could see it in his eyes every time he booked a main event, every time he came within blows of someone else. Hell, the one time a guy was brave enough to challenge him, he threw down, because that's what you do. And a lot of people... you know, the losers on the internet, the guys who never left their parents' basement... a lot of people think they get to judge you, think they can say it's not fair for the boss to take off the suit and lace up some boots and kick some ass.
Triple H shakes his head as he watches someone in a nearby ring execute a DDT for the fifteenth time. He shouts at him to keep working at it and then continues to talk to the camera.
But what they don't know is if you're a guy like me or a guy like Carter, none of what they say matters. None of what they think matters. In fact, they don't matter. Sooner or later, that hunger to compete gets the best of you and you step back in that ring, no matter what your rank is, and you throw down. You fight. Because you need to. Because you miss the energy of the fans, or the thrill of combat. That's what this business is all about. These kids, though... maybe one in ten of 'em has it. That one in ten, that's the one you live to see, the one you hope walks in the door next, because a guy like that can be molded into the star of the future – and a true challenge to the warrior heart that still beats in your own chest. And yeah, there's a couple of them down here. Two or three. But not enough to keep your interest.
Triple H half-chuckles at that thought.
Anyway, what do I know, right? I'm just some old guy whose best days are behind him. But these kids have a future. And I'm gonna make damn sure they see it, and they get to live this dream that I lived, that Carter's living now. This business has been my life's work, and I'm gonna leave it better than I found it.
With that, Hunter shrugs and walks out of frame, the camera panning to follow him for a few moments before the feed moves along.
The plodding duel-drum groove spills out of the speakers like oil pouring out of a busted tanker. When the gruesome riff hits, the titantron flashes to life, displaying four unforgettable letters...
T.I.O.C.
The fans pop huge, even as the letters disintegrate into the Sweet 'n' Sour Inc. logo, which in turn changes into a montage of pure wrestling carnage. Nothing else would be suitable for the most dangerous man in UWF history, the New Horror, Sami Callihan.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Larry Sweeney, Sami Callihan!
Callihan storms past Sweeney on his way down to the ring. He slides into the ring, ignoring all chants for the Tire Iron Original Crew. He walks over to his corner and walks back and forth, waiting for his opponent.
The beating drums kick off and, the TitanTron flares to life with a very simple image: in plain text, "Dolph Ziggler." There's no fancy lights, no fancy pyrotechnics and no fancy video -- just that driving New Politics theme song and the man himself, the two-time former UWF world champion, who emerges from the back with an intensity burning in his eyes as he proceeds with deliberate steps toward the ring, foregoing the theatrics he was once known for.
Tony Chimel: From Cleveland, Ohio and weighing 218 pounds, Dolph ZIGGLER!
There's considerable booing from the crowd as Ziggler jogs up the ring steps and walks along the apron, then steps between the top and middle ropes, removes his hoodie and tosses it to a ringside technician as he shakes out his wrists and performs some pre-match stretching in his corner.
DING DING DING
Almost as soon as the bell ring, Callihan comes running out of the corner and starts berating Ziggler with strikes to any open body spot. Ziggler tries to go between the ropes to force the referee to make the break but Callihan keeps on striking, even as the ref counts to 4 and has to physically pull him away. Ziggler tries to use this time to recover but Callihan just comes running over again with a knee to the midsection. He brings Dolph out of the corner and hits a quick suplex, floating over for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Ziggler kicks out! Callihan picks Dolph right back up and hooks his leg, looking for an exploder suplex but Dolph has had enough. He starts to throw his elbow down on the back of Sami's head to break free from his grasp. Ziggler then goes straight up for a standing dropkick but Sami moves out of the way causing Dolph to just slam himself against the mat. Sami starts putting the boots to him, making Ziggler retreat to the outside of the ring. Dolph tries to walk it off but Sami exits out onto the apron and stalks him. Dolph turns around just as Sami comes running off the apron with a senton off the apron, wiping out Dolph! Sami picks him right back up and tosses him into the ring, following him in for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Another kickout by Dolph!
Mauro Ranallo: Dolph Ziggler just hasn't had much of an opportunity to get out the gate since this match started.
Corey Graves: Clearly something Ziggler said earlier this week struck a cord with him.
Tom Phillips: Or Sami is fighting for his livelihood knowing that a contract with Larry Sweeney is on the line.
Corey Graves: Nah I think it's because everything Dolph said about him was true.
Ziggler tries to crawl away but Sami looks full of confidence and feels like he has this in the bag. He walks over in front of Dolph and grabs him by the face, slowly picking him back up. He hooks both his arms in a double underhook, getting him set up for the Cranial Contusion but Ziggler drops to his knees to try and sandbag Callihan. Sami starts to rain down clubbing blows to the back of Ziggler to weaken him before trying to lift him up once more. This time Ziggler goes up with him but hooks his legs around Callihan's neck, turning it into a hurrincanrana! Sami goes flying towards the ropes, bouncing off them and coming back with a lariat. Dolph doesn't go down and so Sami hits the ropes and comes back right into a dropkick by Ziggler! Sami doesn't go down however, simply shaking it off and hitting Ziggler with a bicycle kick! Dolph stumbles around but stays on his feet. Sami runs back to the ropes and this time runs right into a superkick by Ziggler! Callihan goes down hard and Dolph puts his arm over him for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Callihan kicks out! Ziggler uses this time to recover, his first real reprieve since the match started. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't take long for Callihan to recover. He starts to get back to his feet while Ziggler moves to the ropes to help himself get up. Sami eyes him and yells out in renewed anger at the mere sight of him. He runs over to Dolph but Ziggler lowers the ropes causing Sami to tumble out. Dolph thinks he's safe but Sami has landed on the apron and grabs a fistful of his hair. He pulls Ziggler's head back and hits a neckbreaker off the ropes, the ropes whipping Ziggler so hard that he slams his face hard against the mat.
Mauro Ranallo: The Callihan Death Machine is en fuego tonight!
Corey Graves: This is merely ring rust from the former UWF Champion, I doubt we see him laid out at the end of this match.
Sami slides back into the ring and runs his thumb across his throat, signaling to the crowd that this is the end. He walks over to pick but Dolph but he's all dead weight. Callihan tries to lift him up but he can only manage to get his upper body off of the mat. Sami decides to take a different approach, standing over him and putting him in a waistlock. From there he tries to deadlift Ziggler now that he has a better grasp on him. He picks up Dolph but the Show Off throws a few elbows to the side of the head to break free. Sami lets go and just starts to berate him with clubbing blows once more. Ziggler tries to cover up but to little avail. Sami drags him over to a corner and looks at the turnbuckles. He thinks about it but just says fuck it and starts to climb up. It looks like he might try to go for a moonsault but Ziggler suddenly comes to life, perhaps playing opossum as he quickly runs up the ropes, grabbing Calliahn by the head and falling back toward the mat for a Zig Zag off the top rope! Sami's head bounces hard off the canvas and Ziggler hooks both legs for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Dolph Ziggler!
Sweeney shakes his head in disappoint at yet another client loss. Ziggler however is all smiles after winning his return match and is looking straight ahead to Insurrextion. He celebrates his victory in the ring as the live feed goes elsewhere.
Talk Is Jericho, baybay
Talk Is Jericho
Talk Is Jericho, mama
Talk Is Me
Chris Jericho: Welcome to Talk Is Jericho, the pod of thunder and rock 'n' roll. I am the one, the only, the Chris Jericho, previewing the upcoming Insurrextion pay-per-view, coming up this Sunday, as well as talking about some other random stuff. So, without further ado, let's get started.
This episode is the Fans Only edition. I have no guests, because the one doing the questioning will be the fans. I asked on Twitter for your best questions and I got a terrific amount of responses. Let's start with this first one. Charlie from Seattle, Washington asks: Does your jacket really cost $15,000? Yes. Yes it does.
Next question comes from Amanda from Oklahoma City. She asks: Can I get free Fozzy tickets please?
My nephew is a huge fan and really wants to go. Sure, Amanda. I'll be sending four tickets your way. Take the whole damn family. I don't care.
Third question is addressed to me from TheLegend27 of Miami, Florida. They ask: What about me? Can I also have free Fozzy tickets? Alright. Not everyone can get free tickets. Please don't ask again.
Another question was sent from Michael in Chicago, Illinois, who asks: Please send Foz-. Alright that's it. I'm done. No more. It's just going to be Fozzy tickets over and over. You'd think such great fans would have equally great questions, but that appears to not be the case. I'll take a break and be back with my predictions.
...............
The Register News is now closed. Please stop calling and asking where your paper is. The office shut down. It doesn't exist anymore. The newspaper industry is dying. This is a direct effect of that. Thanks for 137 long years of buying our papers.
...............
Here are my official predictions for UWF Insurrextion going Live on Sunday, March 4th, 2018.
Act Two, Scene One: The Card
Miz, Not Mrs. v. Rey Mysterio
Martin Squirrel (c) v. Vincent M.
Friday Night SethDown LIVE (c) v. Scary Steve (w/Mediocre Mat)
The Boston Celtic Warrior (c) v. That One Motherfucker
Act Two, Scene Two: The Picks
Titus Worldwide gets a new member.
A new TV Champion will be crowned.
Due to the Law of Possibility, it is an inevitability that Vampiro will eventually explode into confetti and Seth wins by default. This is when that happens.
Sheamus kicks the hell outta that one guy's teeth out and retains.
Act Three: Rant of the Week
"Hey Chris, what about your match against Dolph Ziggler?"
Well, anonymous question asker, Dolph think he can blame his struggles on me, which is perfectly fine. In fact, I sleep better at night knowing that somebody in this messed up world is having it just as bad as me, and I'm the reason. He shouldn't even be allowed to compete. I'm going to do what opponents past only wish they would've done. I have an opportunity to legitimately end a man's career, and dammit I'm going to take that opportunity.
It's going to be a good match, Dolph. And remember one thing. In a 50/50 fight, I always am the winning fifty.
I'll win. Guaranteed.
You can download episodes of Talk Is Jericho every Wednesday and Friday on podcastone.com
The titantron switches from the UWF graphic to a live feed from backstage. The scene is a familiar one - the office of Palmer Cannon, who as always, is busy chipping away at some paperwork. Potted plants and posters for the upcoming pay-per-view line the wall. Suddenly, the door swings open!
Cannon: Why doesn't anybody knock first?
Larry Sweeney storms into the room, and boy, he doesn't look happy. He plants his hands on Cannon's desk and leans across, getting right up in the dude's face.
Sweeney: Let's get one thing crystal clear, Cannon... I'm not the kind of guy you can just drag into your office anytime you want, capiche? You want a meeting with the mastermind behind Sweet 'n' Sour Inc., you make an appointment like everyone else! I'm an extraordinarily busy man, pal!
Cannon: Yes, so am I. I actually have another meeting scheduled right now but I'm squeezing you in so let's make this quick.
Sweeney: Oh! Ahahaha! Oh? It had better be qu -
Palmer cuts him off mid-sentence.
Cannon: Sweet 'n' Sour Inc. is embarrassing the UWF.
Larry is stunned, at a rare loss for words. Palmer takes advantage of the silence and continues.
Cannon: Your clientele are, quite frankly, clearly not up to the standard of the UWF. I know you greased a lot of palms during your time here last year, and that, coupled with the success you had with Kenny Omega, has earned you a lot of leeway. Well, that good will has officially run dry, Larry. You're zero-for-four on your so-called "next big stars". I don't know if you're running some kind of scam or you've actually just lost your touch, but the fact of the matter is that the UWF isn't going to tolerate it anymore. Tonight was the last straw. In fact -
Larry has heard enough. Now it's his turn to interrupt.
Sweeney: I don't like the tone of your voice, bub! What's more is I don't like that ridiculous suit you're wearing. So let me set ya straight. Sweet 'n' Sour Inc. is an institution! I've built this puppy from the ground up and it has been responsible for of the finest success stories in modern wrestling history. You can't just -
Cannon: The UWF acknowledges that and that's why we're going to give you one more chance. You'll be allowed to sign one more new talent to the roster. One last contract to offer, Larry. That's more than fair. Now if you're everything you say you are, I'm sure you'll make it count. Here...
Palmer slides the latest - and final - contract across the table to Sweeney, who snatches it away before any minds get changed.
Cannon: I'll expect your answer by Sunday at Insurrextion. Now I'll wish you good luck and ask you to leave, please. As I said, I have another appointment scheduled and -
The door swings open again before Palmer can finish speaking! Who barges in this time?
MIIIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTTEEERRR KENNNNNNNNEEDDDDDDY!
Sure enough, it's the All American Asshole, who hasn't been seen or heard from since his loss to Cesaro at Judgement Day. He marches into the office, blowing past Sweeney to lean across the desk just as Larry had done before.
KENNNN-EEEE-DDDDD -
Cannon: Ken, for the love of God, there's no need to shout in here.
Kennedy: I just wanted to make sure you were hearing me loud and clear, Palm. I've been texting and calling ya non-stop for a month ever since you mailed me that little pink slip and I wasn't sure you could hear me. Hell, I had to book an appointment pretending to be Nick Cannon just to get a word with ya!
Sweeney: Nick Cannon? Wait are you two...
Palmer brushes off the notion.
Cannon: No, no relation. Just a wonderful coincidence given the circumstances. Now, Ken, I'm have you escorted off the property for trespassing.
Kennedy: Oh are ya now? Well you might just want to hold on a second there, amigo. Since you stopped syndicating my radio segment and gave me the boot, I've gone back to running a daily show - ASSHOLE LIVE ON 92.5 - outta Green Bay and my fans have had a lot to say about my situation. I'm sure you've seen the tweets.
Cannon: Yes. They've been very... harrass...ful...
Kennedy: I can only imagine what it's like to have pissed off all my loyal assholes across the nation. Trust me when I say they're not gonna stop, either. Not unless you bring me back in. The people have spoken, bud. They want Mr. Kennedy back. You may dress like a Mormon pedophile, but I know you're a good businessman at heart. So do the right thing, Cannon. Hire me back.
Palmer simply shakes his head.
Cannon: Sorry, Ken. But I won't. You were nothing but trouble last time around and your record didn't make up for it. I won't take the risk... but then again...
Palmer looks from Kennedy to Sweeney, who's still hanging around, back to Kennedy, then back to Sweeney again.
Cannon: Maybe you two share a common interest. But you'll have to discuss it somewhere else. I'm very busy. Now goodnight.
Mr. Kennedy looks at the contract in Larry Sweeney's hands. Sweeney looks at the aggressive desperation in Kennedy's eyes. It's a real moment. They keep staring for a while, contemplating the possibili -
Cannon: I said get out! All of you!
Palmer gets up and ushers the camera man out along with the others, abruptly ending the scene without any satisfying resolution. Revolution continues elsewhere.
As the arena darkens, smoke billows out and covers the stage as the sound of a theme that’s never before been heard in the UWF or any wrestling context begins to play. Tension and uncertainty fills the air as a chill falls over the capacity crowd. Soon, a being rises from the smoke as he begins to make his way to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Warwick, Rhode Island. Weighing in at one hundred and eighty-nine pounds. He is the “Horror King”, Vinny...Marseglia!
As Vinny arrives at the end of the ramp, he stops and gradually looks to each side of him before continuing forward and sliding into the ring. As he stands, the lights come up as he drags his thumb across the front of his neck in a cutthroat gesture and then brings his hand to his face as he gradually pushes up on his mask. Once it’s on top of his head, a crazed look appears on his face as his eyes bug out and his mouth opens wide as he breaks briefly into demented laughter.
QUIET ON THE SET, MAY WE PLEASE HAVE QUIET ON THE SET?
The fans begin booing loudly as Miz's traditional Hollywood intro plays, the arena lights dimmed to darkness, but it then transitions into "Nothing Personal" by Night Riots. Miz steps out onto the entrance ramp with each acoustic guitar note at the beginning, the spotlight shining on him and Maryse before fading after the higher note is played before the spotlight goes onto him permanently as the drums and heavier guitar sets in. The chorus hits, and the arena lights back up as Miz does his signature posing before kissing his wonderful wife.
Tony Chimel: "Being accompanied by Maryse... from Hollywood, California, weighing in at 221 lbs, The Miz!"
Miz and Maryse stop at the ringside area, with one final kiss before Miz does his usual apron taunt, and proceeds to enter the ring.
VS 
DING DING DING
Miz paces back and forth, trying to figure out how exactly to go about this match. Marseglia comes out of the corner and walks right up to The Miz but Miz quickly backs away towards the ropes and tells the ref to keep him back because he's in the ropes. The ref obliges and keeps Vinny at bay while The Miz continues to strategize. Miz looks down at Vinny's kneepad and tells the ref that he's got something in there and to check him. He does have a piece of cloth tied around his knee and so the ref goes to check on it. Vinny lifts up his leg for the ref to inspect and that's when Miz comes forward with a clothesline to takedown Marseglia!
Miz stomps away at the knee of Vinny, trying to target a body part to make the match a bit easier on him. He grabs Marseglia's leg and drops an elbow on the inside of the leg, staying on it and continuing to pull on it. Vinny starts to punch Miz in the back of the head which releases Miz's grasp on his leg. Vinny tries to stand back up a bit too quickly and it causes him to stumble around. The Miz comes up behind him and takes out the knee with a chop block! Vinny falls to the mat and so Miz grabs his leg once more, turns him over and spins around the leg to lock in the figure four leg lock!
Corey Graves: Figure Four! Miz is going to end this right now before Marseglia even has a chance to go on the offensive!
Tom Phillips: Well he did blindside him to start off the match.
Corey Graves: Vinny calls himself the Horror King and comes down to the ring with an axe, no telling what that guy could keep in his kneepad. It was a valid complaint and I think the ref still needs to check him.
There's pain on Vinny's face but it almost looks like he enjoys it. Miz looks at him completely dumbfounded while Vinny has a big smile on his face. He's begging for more and so Miz starts to punch at the knee of Vinny who winces with each hit but still seems to be enjoying the pain. Miz starts to go to town on the knee but Vinny sits up and grabs Miz's arm and uses his own body to tell turn the move over and now Miz is in the reverse figure four! He's crying out and crawling towards the ropes while the Horror King is laughing out loud. Miz slowly crawls over to the bottom rope and finally reaches it, forcing the ref to break the hold. Miz uses the ropes to help him get back to his feet while Vinny does it on his own. He limps over to The Miz but Miz kicks him in the knee to drop him down to a knee. Miz then proceeds to hit him with a snap DDT! He then goes for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Marseglia kicks out! Miz gets back to his feet and stretches out his leg, trying to walk off any damage Vinny might have caused him. Vinny starts to pick himself up but he's still feeling the effects from the attack on his knee. He's only able to get to a knee when Miz comes back with unleashes his IT Kicks to the chest of Vinny. He hits him three times before taking a step back and winding up. He goes for the final kick to the head but Marseglia ducks it and wraps him up in a schoolboy, rolling him through so that when he gets back to his feet, Marseglia nails him with a knee right to the face! Miz is dazed and so Vinny grabs him by the side and hits a saito suplex. Vinny crawls over for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Miz kicks out! Vinny immediately flips him over and places him in a dragon sleeper. Miz reaches out but he's dead set in the middle of the ring. Vinny decides to dish out more pain by clubbing Miz in the chest with his free hand. He eventually has so much fun doing this that he just lets go of the hold altogether and starts just punching wildly at the body of The Miz. He picks him back up and tosses him into the corner. He runs after him but Miz gets his boot up to kick him in the face. Vinny stumbles backwards but doesn't go down yet. Miz comes running out of the corner but Vinny sweeps him up and hits a backbreaker! Miz however has enough wherewithal to roll to the outside.
Corey Graves: Great tactics by the A lister. He knew he was in trouble and decided to take a break.
Mauro Ranallo: I'm not so sure taking the fight outside of the ring is the right tactic against a man like Vinny Marseglia.
Miz tries to get away but Marseglia follows him out and comes up behind him, tossing him stomach first into the barricade! Vinny turns him back around and next thing you know, he's lifting Miz up high and delivering a powerbomb onto the barricade! Vinny is really softening the mid section of The Miz, perhaps getting him prepped for the Redrum. He grabs Miz off the floor and tosses him back into the ring. He slides back in after him and goes for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Miz kicks out once more! Vinny decides to pick The Miz once again and sets him up for a belly to back suplex but Miz actually flips over and lands on his feet, albeit he stumbles backwards into the corner. Vinny turns around and runs at The Miz, looking for a knee to the midsection but Miz moves out of the way and Marseglia ends up kneeing the second turnbuckle, re-injuring the knee. Vinny turns around with a limp and Miz grabs his leg and hits a dragon screw to further injure the knee. Vinny sits up holding his knee while Miz runs to the ropes and comes back with a big boot to the face. He quickly climbs on top of Marseglia for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Vinny kicks out! With his damn near superhuman resilience, Marseglia starts to get back to his feet. Miz has a look of anger on his face and vows to end this now. He slides behind him and locks him in the full nelson. He's trying to go for Skull Crushing Finale but Marseglia is making sure to lean back so Miz can't get the right footing to trip him up. On top of that, Vinny manages to power out of the full nelson and elbows Miz in the side of the head to gain some separation. The A lister stumbles around in a daze and so Marseglia grabs him from behind, lifting him up in a belly to back suplex and dropping him, but when he drops him he also comes down with his own elbow landing right on the heart of The Miz!
Marseglia grabs at his leg, having put a lot of weight on ti when picking up The Miz. He fights through the pain though and gets back to his feet. He drags Miz's body over to the corner and starts to go up to the top rope but it takes awhile due to his bad knee. Unfortunately for him, too much time was wasted and Miz hits him with a forearm to the back of the head just as he was trying to get to the top rope. Miz then puts his arm through and rolls up Vinny up with a schoolboy! The ref drops down to make the pin and Miz lifts his feet up onto the middle rope just outside the ref's view!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, The Miz!
Corey Graves: Yes! The A Lister walks away with another victory after a picture perfect game plan!
Tom Phillips: Yeah after he got his feet up on the ropes!
Corey Graves: All a part of his strategy.
Miz rolls out of the ring right away and celebrates his way up the ramp. Marseglia looks pissed off but his sneer soon turns to a smile as he looks back at The Miz. Miz looks a bit startled by this and decides to just head to the back. Vinny stays seated in the ring with a smile on his face as the live feed goes elsewhere.
We are taken backstage to Dolph Ziggler's locker room, where the twice-former world champion is watching some ring action on a TV. Ziggler seems intently focused on the screen as he watches the match unfold.
As a loud slam can be heard from the TV, Ziggler grins. He continues to watch, even mouthing the count of the pinfall. As the ring bell sounds, he turns his focus to the camera lens.
DOLPH ZIGGLER
True athletes study. That's what I have been doing. Studying my Insurrextion opponent. You might wonder why I didn't study for my opponent for tonight. Let's be honest. I didn't need to be on my A-game to beat Sami Callihan. I put on a clinic with him and now I'm on my way to the bigger match with Chris Jeri--
Dolph stops dead, practically choking on the name of his opponent. He makes a disgusted face. Then he continues.
Chris Jericho. The very mention of that inbred Canadian loser makes me sick. That horrible cheat. That scoundrel, that thief, and soon... that former professional wrestler. I'm very good at ending careers. I've done it more than once here in the UWF. And I'm going to do it again when Jericho can't stand back on his own two feet for all the blood he's lost. Count on it. For tonight, though? More studying is in order. More up-close and personal study.
With that, Ziggler exits the frame.
As Revolution rolls on, we’re taken backstage where we see the heavyset figure of Paul Heyman begin to take form, dressed so in a formal suit, as is to be expected from him. The notorious mouthpiece of the Swiss Superman opens his mouth, as he begins to speak.
Paul Heyman: “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It appears so that we’ve been advertised as willing to give our thoughts – specifically, Cesaro’s thoughts – on his upcoming match against either Bobby Roode or Sheamus at the grandest stage of them all, Wrestlemania. Who does he want to face? How will he beat them? What is he doing to prepare? Of course, all of these questions would normally be conducted with a regulation UWF interviewer – but I’m not just licensed to be Cesaro’s mouthpiece and manager – I’ll also licensed to be his own personal interviewer. A luxury that can be afforded only to those of extreme importance here in the UWF.”
Paul Heyman: “So, without further a due, I present to you the still-living Hercules that is my client: Cesaro.”
Cesaro walks into the visible frame of the camera, confidently fiddling with his sleeves of his dress shirt like a gentleman, as he also is adorning a suit like Paul.
Cesaro: “Ahem-. Cesaro. Antonio Cesaro.”
Cesaro introduces himself indirectly, as Paul gets right to the questions.
Paul Heyman: ”Cesaro, surely, you’re rooting for someone to win at Insurrextion between Bobby Roode and Sheamus, are you not?”
Cesaro: “I am.”
Paul Heyman: “And so who are you rooting for?”
Cesaro: “Sheamus. Sheamus, on the principle that I can expect the best, proper fight out of him – to which I prefer the best possible wrestling match. Bobby Roode cannot be trusted. I’ve faced him before, and I know exactly what kind of tactics he uses. He cannot be trusted as a person – to his friends, to his family, to anyone that’s in this business, to the fans – and he cannot be trusted to deliver me the match that I deserve at Wrestlemania. I’ve beaten Bobby Roode before, but I haven’t beaten Sheamus before. I want what I haven’t had the opportunity to have. I’m like a hunter that mounts the heads of the game that he kills, and I’ll have Sheamus’ mohawk and his UWF World Championship mounted in my office when this is all said and done.”
Paul Heyman: “Couldn’t have said it better. I suppose that answers my other questions. Let’s keep the ball rolling, shall we? What’re some things you’d like to personally talk about, anything on your mind?”
Cesaro places his hands on his hips, before replying.
Cesaro: “Well, Paul. Since you inquired, I think it disgusts me that I’m not booked for Insurrextion.”
The Swiss Superman exhales, nodding his head.
Cesaro: “Yeah – it disgusts me. It disgusts me, because even though I’m going to headline the show of the immortals, I’m not booked for the build-up that’s supposed to kick it all. I show up just about every week – match or no match – to show that I’m here, and I’m ready. I know, I know. I know that I’ve gotten my just compensation with a match at Wrestlemania – but I’m a very ambitious person, you see. I don’t settle for the B on the test, I always study hard and go for the A. I don’t take ten-minute breaks between lifts, because I want to be as physically perfect as I can be. I don’t settle for second-rate – because I want to be second-to-none. And I’ll be here right here, Paul; right where I am now. Telling you – reminding you, even – that I’m the absolute best wrestler on this roster, and it disgusts me that there is no one at my level - no one - that can take me on, in this company.”
Paul Heyman: “Gosh! That’s funny! I was thinking… The exact… same... damn... thing.”
Paul turns to the camera, smiling—
Paul Heyman: “Ladies and gentlemen: god, or no god. Superman, or no superman. Cyborg, or no cyborg. Cesaro, is without peer here in the UWF. He is on another level. He has ascended. He is the absolute best wrestling on this roster today – and at Wrestlemania, whether that is Bobby Roode or Sheamus, Cesaro will prove, just that.”
And, with that, the scene fades to black, as Revolution rolls on.
The feed brings us ringside to the commentary table where five men are standing by as opposed to the usual three.
Tom Phillips: It's a full house here tonight as we are being joined on commentary by two very different men with two very different perspectives in Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler.
Corey Graves: Welcome to ringside, fellas!
Seth Rollins: Thanks for having me.
Dolph Ziggler: What he said. But hey, can I get a bottle of water? When did this company get so cheap, was it when Sheamus won the title and our ratings took a dive?
Mauro Ranallo: I'm sure there's plenty of agua fresca here tonight. Let's head to the ring where Tony Chimel is standing by.
We go into the squared circle where veteran ring announcer Tony Chimel begins to call the competitors to the ring.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest our MAIN EVENT and it is scheduled for one fall!
The fans chant "ONE FALL!" and Chimel grins lightly before continuing.
"...Would you agree that we've fallen far from alright...?"
The kicking sound of Scary Kids Scaring Kids' notable track, "Faces", begins to play through the PA speaker. Not even the intro has kicked into full effect before the audience boo whoever it may be that comes out too it. Indeed, one of the most notorious members of the UWF Roster, Jimmy Jacobs, comes out with his arms extended as if to receive a giant standing ovation. Only a few moments after, outcomes Vampiro. Around his neck is a chain collar, held onto by the Zombie Princess. It's clear the man known as Ian has no control over the monster that is Vampiro, as this beast has a glare at the ring for one thing and one thing only; to quench his hunger.
Tony Chimel: "On their way to the ring at a combined weight of 449 pounds, Jimmy Jacobs and Vampiro, "The New Age of The Fall"!"
Like a dog to his kennel, Vampiro slowly moves in front of Jimmy Jacobs, skulking forward as Jacobs looks around at the fans as they follow themselves down the entrance ramp, giving them some disgust of his own with his mean mug at them. Vampiro like a zombie slowly climbs up the turnbuckle post from the outside, and as he makes his way to the top, he leans his head back and spits out a Red Mystic Mist, letting the remainder of the substance drip down his mouth. Some of the audience seem frightened by this, others still boo, but Jacobs claps his hands for his client. Vampiro steps down off the turnbuckle and leans back against it. As he does, Jacobs manages too untie the collar around Vampiro's neck, and therefore, Vampiro stares across the ring too psyche himself up for the match while Jacobs stands by ringside.
Out comes Y2J Chris Jericho, sporting his very, very, very, very, very expensive light-up jacket, one of his many scarves, and The List of Jericho. As the self-proclaimed Greatest of All Time spins around, fireworks illuminate the stage area.
Tony Chimel: From Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada... weighing in at 227 lbs... Chris Jericho!!!
Jericho heads towards the ring, high-fiving every fan in his path, sans that one guy that always ends up disappointed by every little thing. The Ayatolla of Rock 'n' Rolla points out a few pro-Jericho signs in the crowd as he walks up the ring steps and into the squared circle, ready to start the match.
DING DING DING!
The bell rings and immediately Jericho dashes across the squared circle, leaping into the air and connecting with a hard running forearm to Vampiro that grounds the man with the painted face. Jericho is quick to his feet with Vampiro less than a heartbeat behind, but immediately Chris grounds him with another forearm, and another. Jericho goes for a fourth but as he does, Vampiro ducks under and so Seth lands with a roll and springs back to his feet. He hits the ropes behind Vampiro and as the Dark Angel turns around, Jericho has hopped up onto the top and springboards into a picture-perfect dropkick! The boots connect flush with the side of Vampiro's face and forces him to the canvas; Vampiro rolls out of the ring to quickly regroup with Jacobs while Jericho glares at both of them, smirking, while the fans pop for the high-intensity display from Y2J.
Tom Phillips: Mere moments into this match and already Chris Jericho is showing the kind of competitive instincts we've come to expect from the very best athletes here in the UWF.
Corey Graves: Cool your jets, Phillips. We're not even five minutes into this thing and you're already drooling.
Dolph Ziggler: Seriously. Can you at least try to be objective, Phillips? You're supposed to be a journalist.
Vampiro climbs up onto the apron and Jericho heads over to attack him but as Y2J takes a swing, Vampiro ducks and thrusts his shoulder between the second and top rope, connecting hard with Jericho's chest. Y2J stumbles backward as Vampiro enters the ring, but the Dark Angel only gets one foot on the canvas inside before Y2J comes back with clubbing blows to the shoulder and upper back. The official starts a count and hits four before Jericho breaks off his assault, giving Vampiro the slightest bit of separation. The Dark Angel finishes entering the ring and Jericho comes right back dashing at him, leaping for a heel kick! Vampiro, however, has it scouted and swats Jericho down, then grabs him in a cinch around the waist, deadlifting him into the air and just throwing him with no particular style. Jericho hits the canvas and rolls, getting back to his feet, but when he does he's damn near decapitated by an absolutely BRUTAL clothesline from the former Intercontinental Champion! Jericho is seeing stars after that, rolling on the canvas and rubbing at his nose as he blinks and tries to bring things back into focus.
Corey Graves: He doesn't realize it yet, but Jericho is in a world of trouble right now.
Mauro Ranallo: Y2J calls himself the Best in the World at What He Does, but right now what he does seems to be lying on his back looking hurt.
Seth Rollins: I'm not a huge fan of Chris, but I think there's just a little bit of hyperbole going on there, Mauro.
Vampiro saunters over to Jericho and pulls him up, then hits him hard across the face. Jericho falls back onto the ropes; Vampiro uses the ropes to prop Jericho as he starts to unload hard rights and lefts to the body. Jericho eats all of the punches and Vampiro sends him off the ropes opposite, then scoops him up and drops him with a sidewalk slam. Vampiro gets back to his feet and pulls Jericho to his, then locks him in a side headlock, looking to further wear down his foe and siphon what gas is left in his tank. As the Dark Angel really puts on the pressure, Jericho jostles to try and gain some foothold or a grip on his opponent. Eventually Y2J manages to get Vampiro around the hips and he tries to lift him, but not before the former Intercontinental Champion realizes what's up and drives a closed fist into the top of Jericho's skull! The blow rocks his opponent and Vampiro repositions to put Jericho in a belly-to-belly clutch, then lifts him up and straight up throws him overhead with an explosive suplex! The Dark Angel then moves to cover as Jacobs smacks the canvas.
Tom Phillips: Vampiro going for the cover!
1...
2...
...NO!
Mauro Ranallo: He's best in the world at kicking out at two and one tenth of a second, too, gentlemen!
Dolph Ziggler: He won't be at Insurrextion.
Seth Rollins: You hope, anyway.
Jericho is out of it, but he had the wherewithal to kick out. This frustrates Vampiro, who is practically hissing as he pushes up to his feet. He pulls Jericho up to his own, pushing him into a corner before connecting with some back elbows to the chest and face. After several of those, Vampiro backs up and comes in looking for a splash. When he does, Jericho gets a boot up in his face! Vampiro stumbles away on the impact and Jericho runs at him. With his back turned, Vampiro doesn't see the bulldog coming! Jericho gets back to his feet and does the "drink it in" pose for the fans, but as he does Jacobs obnoxiously boos and makes the thumbs down gesture from his corner. Jericho glares out at him and moves toward the corner. As he does, Vampiro gets to his feet and blindsides Y2J from behind with some clubbing blows before throwing him shoulder-first into the corner! Jericho cries out at the impact but Vampiro savagely shows no remorse as he grabs both of Jericho's legs, lifts them up and kicks between them to connect with Jericho's stomach! The fans read this as a kick to the groin and boo him, but the official knows otherwise as Vampiro pulls Jericho out of the corner and hits a no-nonsense German suplex!
Corey Graves: Vampiro with a textbook German suplex.
Mauro Ranallo: Vampiro may be the Dark Angel, but Jericho might as well be a fallen one given how far he just came crashing down!
Tom Phillips: But will it be enough to put Y2J away?
As Vampiro moves in, Jericho rolls out onto the apron. Vampiro growls and follows, going for a stomp between the ropes but Jericho actually catches the boot, then rolls off the apron! Before Vampiro can react, Jericho pulls him into the ropes, hanging up his man-bits on the middle rope! The fans chuckle and cheer even as the official reprimands Jericho, but Y2J is already pulling Vampiro by the hair through the ropes and then, hanging his feet on the rope, executes a rope-assisted cutter on the outside! Vampiro hits the floor like a rock as the fans pop and the official starts a count. Jacobs, meanwhile, starts to come around the ring but as he does, Rollins gets up at the announce table and removes his headset! Jacobs turns to face him and smirks, inviting him to come and get some. Jericho, meanwhile, pulls Vampiro to his feet and rolls him into the ring as Rollins sits back down and puts back on his headset.
Tom Phillips: Welcome back, Seth.
Corey Graves: What do you think you're doing, huh Rollins? Sit your butt down and don't you dare think of interfering! Everyone who ever joins us here is just doing it to interfere.
Seth Rollins: Sorry folks. I was just going to intervene if the match got uneven.
As Jericho enters the ring, he grabs Vampiro by the ankles and drags him to the middle of it, then starts to roll him over for the Walls! The fans are cheering wildly as Jericho gets Vampiro half-over, but then the Dark Angel rolls back onto his back, pulls his legs in and rolls Jericho up!
Mauro Ranallo: That's a small package!
Dolph Ziggler: That's what she said.
1...
2...
...NO!
Jericho again kicks out! The fans pop wildly as Y2J rolls away from Vampiro. Neither man seems to have the energy to truly capitalize, but both start to crawl for the nearby ropes. Jericho grasps one first, but Vampiro gets vertical first; not that it matters, the pair both head toward the middle of the ring and begin trading blows. The fans pop with every Jericho hit and "Ooh!" with every Vampiro hit, creating an interesting audio dynamic as Jericho unloads with a chop and Vampiro hits an open-palmed strike and then Jericho retorts with a chop. Finally, Vampiro hits a forearm that staggers Jericho, connects with another forearm and then grabs him by the throat!
Corey Graves: Time for the bite!
Tom Phillips: And I think it's safe to say that's something you'll be trying to avoid in the Hell in the Cell at Insurrextion, Seth?
Seth Rollins: You know, I don't like Graves, but you really do just speak the obvious don't you?
Vampiro lifts Jericho but as he does, Jericho chops down on his arm and slips free of his grasp, landing on his feet! Vampiro kicks out at his gut but Jericho catches it, spins Vampiro around and then hits the Codebreaker! Jericho rolls on top with the cover.
Mauro Ranallo: That'll break a lot more than a code!
Dolph Ziggler: ...ridiculous.
1...
2...
...3!
DING DING DING!
Here is your winner,
CHRIS JERICHO!
Tom Phillips: Chris Jericho held on through a vicious assault by the Dark Angel and former Intercontinental Champion Vampiro and now he stands victorious!
Corey Graves: He doesn't look like he's doing much standing right now... he hasn't even got to his feet yet and he's already celebrating!
Mauro Ranallo: He's the best in the world at celebration, too, I suppose.
Tom Phillips: But what about Vampiro and Jimmy Jacobs? Surely the former Intercontinental Champion will be disappointed to take a loss in to the Cell at Insurrextion.
Corey Graves: That will just make him hungrier to dominate his opponent, right, Seth?
Seth Rollins: Please, I hope he comes out with guns blazing. I'd love to kick his ass at his prime, but I feel that was at least ten years ago.
While the commentary team banters, Ziggler removes his headset and hops the announce table, then slides into the ring! Jericho is helped to his feet by the official who raises his arm. Y2J then turns – straight into Ziggler, who is unloading a superkick! This time, however, Jericho reacts quickly enough to catch the foot and he pushes Ziggler onto his back, then grabs his other foot and rolls him over into the Walls of Jericho!
Tom Phillips: Walls of Jericho! Walls of Jericho!
Corey Graves: This is ridiculous, someone break this up! Jericho's looking to injure Dolph the cheap way so he doesn't have to lose to him when the lights are brightest!
Jericho keeps the submission locked in for several more seconds while Ziggler pounds on the canvas to submit, the Canadian laughing loudly as he tortures his Insurrextion opponent. The fans are cheering when Jericho finally releases the hold, then looms over a writhing Ziggler and extends his arms out to either side, shouting, "Drink it in, Maaaaaaaaan!" as the show draws to its close.
-END OF SHOW-
Credits
Jericho vs Vampiro - Crann
Everything else - Danny