Post by Danny on Apr 16, 2020 2:17:30 GMT -6
As the opening video finishes, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Tom Phillips: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Revolution! I’m Tom Phillips.
Mauro Ranallo: I’m Mauro Ranallo.
Corey Graves: And I’m Corey Graves. Tonight we’ve got a packed show! In singles action it’s Curtis Axel taking on WARHORSE in a double debut.
Tom Phillips: Also in singles competition it’s Brock Lesnar and Adam Cole doing battle.
Corey Graves: In tag team action it’s Sammy Guevara and Leyton Buzzard taking on the team of Ishii and Yano.
Tom Phillips: Also in a tag team match it’s Monster High going against The New Kingdom.
Corey Graves: And in our main event, it’s another non-title affair as Shibata takes on Rey Mysterio.
Mauro Ranallo: but first in a non-title match, it’ll be Jimmy Havoc versus Shingo. Let's head down to the ring for that right now!
The live feeds heads back to the arena where Shingo Takegi is already in the ring, ready for the start of this match.
Tony Chimel: From Camdon, England, weighting 220 pounds, Jimmy "Pain" Havoc!!!!
*Jimmy comes down the ramp with his fork around his waist, looks at the fans booing him and smiles at them, this scaring the fans booing him. Then he enters the ring, grabs the fork and lifts it in the air*
VS 
DING DING DING
Shingo is still preparing in the corner when Havoc comes running over with a big boot to knock him into said corner! Havoc starts unloading with multiple punches to the face as Shingo tries his best to cover up. The ref gets on Havoc, giving him until the count of five to back off. Jimmy listens to them and backs away just in time before going right back at Shingo, this time biting him right in the forehead! Takagi falls to his knees and crawls out of the corner but Jimmy is stalking his prey, coming up behind him and grabs his arm. He ripcords Shingo out and turns him inside out with the Acid Rainmaker! He makes the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
But no, Havoc picks up Shingo's head, causing his shoulders to lift off the mat just before the ref makes the three count. The fans boo while Havoc just smiles. He brings Shingo back up to his feet only to kick him in the gut and shove his head between his legs. Havoc proceeds to do the old thumb cutting across the neck before lifting him up and driving his head into the mat with the Havocdriver! Shingo's body goes limp and the Television Champion flips him over, putting his forearm in his face as he makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, the Television Champion, Jimmy Havoc!
Jimmy is all smiles as he gets handed his title and rubs it in the faces of all the fans. Shingo is checked on by the officials as the show moves on.
Mauro Ranallo: Alright ladies and gentlemen before we get to our next match, we have a video package to show at the bequest of one of the UWF's newest signees.
the scene opens up with a photo, presumably taken on an old flashbulb camera considering it is in black-and-white.
The picture fades away, and a second one takes its place on the screen, this one more recent than the previous but still faded due to the passage of time.
After a few seconds of hanging onto that image, it fades out as well, where instead of a picture taking its place, instead a song begins belting out, the guitar riff blaring as the first thing heard.
After a few seconds, the view changes to a shot of a man standing inside of an empty ring, staring down the camera.
My name is Curtis Axel. I am a third-generation superstar, and over the years I have been on quite the rollercoaster of a career.
Axel steps forward in the ring, and it cuts to a live shot of Axel sitting down presumably for an interview.
Curtis Axel: Both my grandfather and my father were wrestlers, and not just that but they were two of the most overlooked wrestlers to lace a pair of boots. When I was six years old, I saw my dad and my grandfather team up to win tag team gold.
the camera shot once again changes to an older picture, not as old as the first shown but still visibly worn out.
Curtis Axel: By the time I was entering Middle School, my father was already holding championship gold.
Curtis Axel: But to be honest...I could care less about what they have done. Don't get me wrong, I will always love my grandfather and my father. However when you go through your entire career being compared to them, always being told that you didn't live up to the hype that the previous generation created for you when you announced you were going into the wrestling business, you get sick of hearing about them.
the package then goes back to the interview scene from before.
Curtis Axel: I don't want to constantly live in the shadows my parent and grandparent left. I don't want to follow in their footsteps, I want to make my own footsteps, I want to cast my own shadow over the wrestling business. For too many years I've been saddled with dead weight partners, with people who don't have the same type of drive that I do. And when I'm on my own in that ring, people constantly underestimate me. They believe that I am weak, that I am an easy opponent, someone to just look over. When they see Curtis Axel, they don't see the intensity I bring to the ring every night. They don't see the raw potential that has yet to be fulfilled. All they see is the son of one of the biggest names of the 80s, and think I'm a failure because I don't call myself perfect.
The interview setup cuts back to the empty ring, action shots of Axel facing off with an unknown trainee airing.
But I am not perfect, I am BETTER than perfect. I have been better than perfect for years, and have been chained to fools who couldn't survive in the wrestling business on their own! But now it is different, now is Curtis Axel's time! Call this a genesis, call it a resurrection of perfection, call it whatever you want because at the end of the day the only call being made will be the ring announcer calling my name as the winner.
The feed changes from the action shots right after Axel is seen hitting a Perfect Plex onto the unnamed opponent. Instead, it now shows Axel standing in the center of a room, bright lights shining behind him, illuminating the rest of the area.
Curtis Axel: I am not a Hennig, a McGillicutty, or any other family name that I've been called before. I am Curtis Axel, and I am beyond perfection.
The package and song both fade out, leading into the next part of the show…
THIS RULES ASS
THAT RULES ASS
WARHORSE
RULES
ASS
THE SCENE OPENS TO SEE WARHORSE’S WONDERFUL NEW PODCAST THAT HE’S HOSTING, IN BOTH VIDEO FORM AND IN AUDIO FORM. WARHORSE LIKES TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS ABOUT METAL WELDING WHILST WORKING OUT SO THAT HE CAN ENHANCE THAT METAL POWER.
WARHORSE: THIS IS WARHORSE, ON THE FIRST GODDAMN EPISODE OF THIS PODCAST THING CALLED THE ASS RULIN’ PODCAST FEATURING… WARHORSE. WARHORSE DIDN’T KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING WITH THAT. ANYWAYS, WE HAVE A WHEEL, WE HAVE GODDAMN SOUNDBITES, WE HAVE BEER, THE WORKS, BROTHERS. OH AND GUESTS, TOO. PROBABLY. SOON, I MEAN WARHORSE CAN’T MAGICALLY SUMMON PEOPLE LIKE JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF, BUT OH WELL BROTHERS WE’LL MAKE DO WITH A COZY ONE TO ONE SITUATION BETWEEN YOU AND WARHORSE FOR THIS EPISODE AT LEAST.
WARHORSE REACHES DOWN FOR A BEER, AND CRACKS IT OPEN, PRETTY AUDIBLY, AND TAKES A SWIG OF THAT SUCKER RIGHT DOWN THE GULLET.
YOU SEE, WARHORSE CAN DRINK ON THE JOB BECAUSE WARHORSE DOESN’T GET DRUNK, HE JUST GETS STRONGER YOU SEE. WHEN WARHORSE GETS STRONGER, HE GETS TO WHOOP STOMP CURTIS AXEL FROM THE TOP ROPE THAT MUCH HARDER. OOH THAT’D BE THE DAY, BROTHER. NO, NO, THE WARHORSE ISN’T GONNA COME OUT HERE AND SHIT ON CURTIS AXEL FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE, THAT’D BE A WASTE OF MY TIME AND YOURS BROTHERS.
HOWEVER, WARHORSE WANTS HIS ASS TO KNOW THAT HE AIN’T A WELCOME LISTENER TO THE WARHORSE’S PODCAST. AIN’T NO HOLLYWOOD HILL LOOKIN’ ASS COMING AROUND THE WARHORSE’S BLOCK LET ME TELL YOU THAT BROTHERS. ONLY FOR THE WARHORSE’S FANS, AND THE WARHORSE’S ENEMIES THAT MATTER. SPEAKING OF THE WARHORSE’S FANS, THEY PARTICIPATED IN A HANDY DANDY TWITTER HASHTAG FOR THE WARHORSE. UNDER HASHTAG-RULIN-ASS-FIRST-EPISODE. WARHORSE HOPES IT ISN’T FLOODED BY SEXUAL INNUENDO, AS THE WARHORSE JUST WANTS QUESTIONS FROM THE GODDAMN PEOPLE AND NOT A HARD ON. SO LET’S GO…
WARHORSE PULLS HIS PHONE UP TO ABOUT 10 CM FROM HIS EYES BECAUSE WARHORSE DOESN’T REMEMBER GODDAMN QUESTIONS OF THE TOP OF HIS HEAD, WHO IS HE, SUPERMAN OR SOMETHING? PROBABLY IRON MAN, BUT DON’T TELL THE FBI.
THE FIRST QUESTION THE WARHORSE HAS GOT SAYS, “AXEMAN IS GONNA CHOP YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF.” SORRY, GUY, THE WARHORSE DOESN’T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE SUCH GODDAMN STUPIDITY BROTHER. NEXT QUESTION, “HOW MUCH ASS IS THE WARHORSE GONNA RULE IN HIS DEBUT?”, ALL OF IT. NEXT- I FEEL THIS IS A QUICK SEGMENT. GODDAMN, WE NEED TO SPICE IT UP A BIT. SWIG FOR EVERY QUESTION BROTHERS.
WARHORSE TAKES A SWIG OF HIS BEER, TO ACCOUNT FOR THE NEXT QUESTION HE’S GONNA SHOOT FROM THE HASHTAG.
ALRIGHT BROTHERS, ONE SWIG, THE QUESTION IS, “WARHORSE I DON’T THINK MY EARDRUMS WILL COPE WITH YOU SHOUTING AT ME FOR AN HOUR STRAIGHT, WHAT’D YOU RECOMMEND FOR ME TO DO?”, THAT’S SOME WEAK SHIT BROTHER GO SEE DEATH GRIPS LIVE THAT’S PURE EARDRUM HAVOC, OR BETTER YET LISTEN TO A CURTIS AXEL PROMO. MIND YOU THAT’D PROBABLY SEND YOU TO SLEEP, BROTHER. UH, ANSWER TO THE QUESTION… LOWER THE VOLUME I GUESS.
WARHORSE TAKES A SECOND SWIG IN THESE ROUNDS OF BEER SWIGGING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS FROM HIS FANS.
SECOND SWIG, THE QUESTION IS, “WARHORSE-
we head forward in time as Warhorse seems to have answered ten questions, all not giving a whole lot of insight, and five beers finished, lying on the table in which the laptop is that is recording this podcast. cutting back into reality…
THE WARHORSE BURPS LOUDLY AS THOSE FIVE BOTTLES OF BEER SEEM TO HAVE GONE DOWN WELL.
WARHORSE: THE WARHORSE IS GONNA HAVE TO HAVE SOME BLACK COFFEE I TELL YOU THAT BROTHER, REX RUN IT… ANYWAY, IT SEEMS WE’RE NEARING THE END OF THIS SESSION, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! OR DON’T. DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE WHEEL? I DON’T KNOW TO BE FAIR BROTHERS, I THINK THAT INFO IS LONG GONE-O. WHEEL!
WARHORSE SMASHES HIS FIST DOWN ON THE SOUND EFFECT BUTTON, BREAKING IT IN THE PROCESS AND THEREBY NOT ACTUALLY MAKING ANY SOUND AT ALL. WARHORSE LOOKS DOWN AT THE SHATTERED GADGET IN GUILT AND LOOKS SIDE TO SIDE.
REX! COME IN HERE THE THING FUCKIN’ BROKE MAN.
REX COMES BACK IN FROM THE KITCHEN, WITH THE COFFEE HE WAS MAKING WARHORSE, AND TAKES A LOOK AT IT, AND SHRUGS, AS DOES WARHORSE. AND THUS BEGINS AN AWKWARD SILENCE.
…
…
…
REX DO THE FUCKIN’ JINGLE MAN.
REX SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DENIAL, HE AIN’T DOING THAT SHIT IF IT’S THE LAST THING HE DOES ON PLANET EARTH.
Y’KNOW WHAT BROTHER, IT’S FINE. THE WARHORSE DOESN’T NEED NO GODDAMN SOUND EFFECT, HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT… TYPE OF BEER IS THIS SHIT? TASTES LIKE CAT PISS REX, SORT IT. ANYWAY, CHARITY WHEEL, WHOOPIE-DOO GO ON.
THE WARHORSE SPINS THE WHEEL, AND IT CONTINUES TO KEEP ON LOOPING AND GOING AROUND AS HE AWAITS FOR IT TO BE OVER SO HE CAN CHOOSE THROUGH THESE NOMINEES.
AMERICAN NATIONAL RED CROSS
WORLD VISION
WORLD WILDLIFE FOUNDATION
MAYO CLINIC
KIDS WISH NETWORK… (A PURPOSEFULLY BAD VERSION OF MAKE A WISH)
AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY.
THE WHEEL IS STILL GOING.
THE WHEEL IS GOING… STILL… UUUUUUUUUUUUUUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH… IT’S GOING AGAIN AUUUUUUUUUUUAHHHHHGGOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHH…. AND AGAIN. AH… AND STILL. UH. REX? IS IT MEANT TO GO THIS LONG?
…
…
…
IT’S STILL GOING? 5 MORE SECONDS AND I’M CALLING THIS SUCKER. ONE SABBATH, TWO SABBATHS, THREE SABBATHS, FOUR SABBATHS, FIVE SABBATHSS. FUCK THIS SHIT I’M-
WARHORSE GETS UP AND THEN STUNTS THE WHEEL AT A RANDOM POSITION, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THE WARHORSE HAS STOPPED IT ON THE MOST UNRELIABLE CHARITY. HE SNARLS AND SCRUNCHES UP HIS FACE AT THE SITE OF THIS.
KIDS WISH NETWORK… rex why are these fucks on the board they’re literally just a rip off make-a-wish… WILL BE GETTING A HUNDRED DOLLARS! CONGRATULATIONS TO THEM, I GUESS.... uh… rex, what’s next?
…
IT SEEMS THAT IS IT FOR THIS WEEK’S EDITION OF THE ASS RULIN’ PODCAST, THE FIRST ONE. REMEMBER, LISTEN TO METAL, RULE ASS AND BUY THE WARHORSE’S MERCHANDISE ONLINE AND AT THE MERCH TABLE FOLKS.
WARHORSE TAKES OFF HIS HEADPHONES LEANING BACK AFTER THAT HORRENDOUS FIRST EDITION OF HIS PODCASTS, NO GUESTS, NO AID, AND HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING. BLAME REX.
An infectiously upbeat and positive tune begins to play, instantly capturing the attention of the UWF crowd as they turn their collective attention to the stage as Simon Dean comes out with a gym bag in one hand and what appears to be a nutrition bar in the other hand that he’s holding up. He’s wearing a big ear-to-ear smile as he’s also got on an earpiece with a microphone. His music fades out as he begins to address the crowd.
Simon Dean: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Simon Dean and it’s all too fitting that I’ve come to the UWF and I’ll tell you why. It’s because the show is called Revolution and a fitness revolution is what I’m here to kick off for each of you in attendance around the world as well as the men on this roster. Now I know what you’re saying to yourselves: why take on such an enormous task? Well the answer is simple. It’s like going to the doctor when you’re sick or going to sleep when you’re tired, it just makes good sense. It makes good sense because, quite frankly, obesity is running rampant in this country and it makes me physically ill to see it.
The crowd boos Simon intensely.
I expected some resistance, that’s alright, because I can tell by the looks on your fat and wretched faces that it’s hard enough looking at yourself in the mirror and living with being you without some superior specimen tearing you down but I do it out of love. I do it because I have the cure for your fatness, your laziness, your neglect, and it’s right here in my hands. In my right hand is one of my delicious, nutritious, patented Simon System nutrition bars and in my left hand is a bag full of more bars and various other Simon System products. But don’t think of this as marketing or shilling, think of it as me gifting you a care package.
Next week, he will be here live and I’ve spoken with EC3 already so he will be in action. All his opponent has to do is win the match and they get to leave not only with a win, but with this lovely bag of products I talked about. I’ve gotta warn whoever it is though, beating him isn’t going to be an easy task so there’s a high chance you leave next week empty handed. Now, as for the rest of you, the Simon System store is going to be online very soon so don’t worry, hope for your horrid condition and unhappiness with it is coming soon. Until next week, remember: you can do it because Simon Says.
Simon continues to smile as he puts the bar he’s holding up in the bag he’s carrying. He waves to the crowd as he turns and heads to the back as Revolution continues.
Scene opens on the plane landing at the airport as the camera runs to the plane. The door opens and Ishii and Yano walk down the stairs.
Yano: “Well Ishii we finally made it to America how do you feel?”
Ishii: …
Yano: “That's what I like to hear Ishii. I know this is going to be the best thing that has ever happened. Plus this is going to make us a boatload of money, by the way I was able to talk to the owners and get it us a little better of a deal on the DVD profits. You want to hear it?”
Ishii:...
Yano: “I knew you would. Get this, 30.5% profit on all DVD sales including the ones I sell on the way to the ring.”
Ishii looks at him with anger.
Yano: “I know what you are going to say can’t we just keep the money on the ones I sell, well no truth is they are producing the DVD’s over here. I have no idea how to work the American DVD makers.”
Ishii: “Look, I’m starving. Where are we going to eat?”
Yano: “Oh boy, you can only imagine the place i’m going to take you. The best in American cuisine. Something you can only sink your teeth into...Applebee’s. Lets go friend.”
Ishii looks in disgust as they walk away to a car.
Yano: “By the way can you pay? I only have Yen. I never got a chance to exchange it.”
The scene fades to black.
Sean Oliver: Ladies and gentleman, welcome back to YouShoot with me, your host, Sean Oliver and my special guest.. ‘King of Bros’ Matthew Riddle. Matt, it’s a pleasure to have you on sir.
Matt Riddle: Sean, the pleasure is all mine, bro. Looking forward to it! What you got for me?
Sean Oliver: So firstly, we’ve got a question from the infamous, The Horsecock Express; ‘Yo, Matt. How big is Matanza’s dick?’
Matt Riddle: I don’t have a clue, bro. Y’know, I’ve never seen that dude take off that jumpsuit at all. I don’t think he washes it. Me and the CuetBro live together, and I really haven’t seen it. I assume it’s an absolute hog, you’ve seen the size of the dude, bro.
Sean Oliver: I could imagine it being like when you go to the grocery store and you see the biggest ham hock in your life, y’know?
Matt Riddle: Oh fuck yeah, I mean, we are stallions. What do all horses have in common, bro? Big cocks. Horsecock express should know that first hand, bro.
Sean Oliver: Another question here from HeelBoi in The UK; ‘Hey Matt, big fan of yourself and Matanza. My question is this. Excluding Matanza, who is the biggest bro in the whole of the UWF? And why?’
Matt Riddle: Uh.. it’s a pretty tough question, bro. Honestly, I only really hang out with Jeff.. well Matanza. Erm.. I always liked The Usos. When we have to live it in the ring, we will but they’re funny ass dudes. Shibata never fails to make me laugh, we’re pretty good bros too. Yano’s DVDs are brilliant and Ishii doesn’t say much, considering the short amount they’ve been here. I’ve enjoyed their company a lot. Umm.. Ultramantis Black on a good day is a really good bro too.
Sean Oliver: Hahahaha! What about Shingo Takagi? I’m a big fan of his!
Matt Riddle: Ehhh I don’t know, bro. He tries his best but there’s a language barrier there somewhere. I mean he may be the ‘he man who can run through you he Breck wall you hit him hard he hit you harder’ but honestly, nah. We don't get on that well, bro. Me and CuetBro call him ‘The Shingles.’ He’s just annoying, bro.
Sean Oliver: So that brings us onto a segment that we like to refer to as the ‘Ho Bag’ for the women and the ‘Dick Bag’ for the dudes but seeing as we have you as a special guest. Welcome.. to the BRO bag!
Matt Riddle: Oh you’re kidding! Let’s do it, bro!
Sean Oliver: Right, so let’s just clarify for those that don’t know. Usually, they would go in the bag if they’re a dick but this time, they go in the bag if you think they’re a bro. Non-bros stay out the bag, got it? Sweet. So.. first up is ‘Velveteen Dream’.
Matt Riddle: Uhh, known Dream for a longish time. I’ve always thought he was a pretty cool bro, never really had a problem with him so he can go in the bag.
Sean Oliver: Love it, fantastic. Er.. Jimmy Havoc?
Matt Riddle: In-ring, he’s pretty ok. Outside of the ring, we don’t talk much. He sticks to himself a lot y’know?
Sean Oliver: Out of the bag?
Matt Riddle: Uhhh.. yeah. I’m sure he’s an okay guy and all but not a bro by any means.
Sean Oliver: Very good.. Matanza Cueto?
Matt Riddle: My bro. Love the dude. Of course he’s in the bag.
Sean Oliver: Yep, shouldn’t have even asked! Couple more here.. What I’ll do instead is just fire some names out and you throw em back whether they’re going in the bag or not, capiche?
Matt Riddle: Oh, capiche, bro. Definitely.
Sean Oliver: So, we’ve got the following people. Up to you whether you wanna just use one word, give us a whole story or whatever. So! Curtis Axel, Dynamic Duo, Undisputed Era, Vinny Marseglia, Hornswoggle, and WARHORSE…
Matt Riddle: Right.. I know for a fact we’re already keeping Hornswoggle out of that thing, bro. Woah, that dude is a fuckin’ creep! So ignore that bitch, he ain’t no bro!
Sean Oliver: Yeah, I agree. Bit of a know it all. What about the rest?
Matt Riddle: Dynamic Duo, out too. Fuck them, bro. Uhhhh, UE can go in. They’re asshats but they know how to party so bro! As for Vinny, we are taking on those little cronies of his at the next Revolution, bro and I can’t lie, we’re gonna rip their asses to god damn pieces, bro. Fuck them and fuck Vinny. Out the bag.
Sean Oliver: Wow, not a lot of love there, huh? So you mentioned the next Revolution show.. What about two men making their debut against each other, WARHORSE and Curtis Axel?
Matt Riddle: Okay, bro. Well for me, WARHORSE sits in that chasm between Hornswoggle and Shingo. I just.. I just find him a bit weird. A grown ass man that wears face paint and writes everything in cap.. Grow your ass up, bro!
Sean Oliver: But your partner is a former Olympian in navy overalls and a halloween mask?
Matt Riddle: I… I… okay, I got nothing on that, bro. You got me! Still keep him out the bag though. Creepy ass. As for Curtis Axel, The Axebro! That dude can fuckin’ drink, bro! Me and CuetBro have partied with him like once in the past.. I’ll never forget it. In the bag he goes, bro!
Sean Oliver: Awesome! So, Matt, our final segment is ‘What’s in the bag?!’ in which we have a random wrestler’s gym bags with various items within it.. With each item that I pull out, you need to name me someone that first comes to mind ok?
Matt Riddle: Sounds fucking rocking, bro!
Sean Oliver: First up, Jack Daniels.
Matt Riddle: ‘The Bro’ Becky Lynch. She’s Irish.. They drink? Meh. Other than that, Vinny because he’s got that cousin fucker look about him, bro.
Sean Oliver: Uhhh… Let’s see here.. Ah Green?
Matt Riddle: That’s green? That’s some weak shit, bro. I’ll hook you up after the show. Of course I would say … ME!
Sean Oliver: Hahahaha! What about a suspicious white powder?
Matt Riddle: I tell ya what, bro.. Tessa Blanchard got that coke hoe body, bro. I don’t know if she does it.. But first person that came to my mind, bro!/font]
Sean Oliver: Fantastic, what about needle?
Matt Riddle: Got to be Brock huh, bro?
Sean Oliver: Pretty consistent on that one.. Couple more.. What about the classic bottle of pills?
Matt Riddle: And again, got to be Brock huh, bro?!
Sean Oliver: Final three; big shit, white cock, black cock?
Matt Riddle: Stacey Keibler… Bubba Ray Dudley… D-Von Dudley..?
Sean Oliver: Perfect! Well.. thank you Matt. It has been a pleasure having you on. Anything to promote before we finish?
Matt Riddle: Yeah, so I’m Matt Riddle. I kick ass, and smoke green. I’m usually joined by a big dude called Matanza or the CuetBro as I like to call him. Monster High forever, bro! Throw ‘em up! Come and watch me and Cuetbro on UWF Revolution pretty much every week, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose! As for everything else.. Errr.. fuck New Kingdom and follow @superkingofbros on Twitter? Go and watch Power Rangers on Netflix. I love Power Rangers.. Other than that, stay inside and don’t do drugs, bros unless ya want to. Riddle, out!
Sean Oliver: Thank you for watching! See you all again very soon. I’ve been Sean Oliver and you just watched Matt Riddle’s YOUSHOOT, bro!
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
The sound of that guitar rings throughout the arena and fans begin lobbing disaffection at the Next Big Thing. Brock Lesnar walks out from the back, ready to kill a person or two or possibly three as Paul Heyman steps out from behind him. He begins warming up, bouncing back and forth before bringing his arms down, cueing a sudden blast of pyro from the stage.
Chimel: Making his way to the ring, fighting out of Minneapolis, Minnesota and weighing in at 286 pounds, Corey Graves has asked me to introduce him as his pick... he is the BEAST, BROCK... LESNAR!
He walks down to the ring and begins circling it, before jumping up onto the apron and pulling the ropes, creating yet another blast of pyro. He steps through the ropes, making sure to stare everyone in the face as the match gets underway...
Tony Chimel: And introducing his opponent...
SHOCK. THE SYSTEM.
The intro to Calm Like a Bomb hits and good god do the fans not like hearing that. Just as the guitar hits, the camera slowly tilts downward to reveal Adam Cole struting out on stage, cool as a cucumber. He gives zero damns, as is to be expected. He bends down, readying himself before throwing his arms out and shouting, "ADAM COLE, BAYBAY!" He stands there for a second, looking out at the fans and smirking and probably talking about how badly he's gonna beat his opponent.
He begins stepping down towards the ring, talking into the camera and talking shit like it's nobody's business.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring, fighting out of Panama City, Florida, coming to a ring near you. AAAAAAAADAM.... COOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!
He smiles and nods at the mention of his name, and takes a right turn when he's faced with the ring, drifting up onto the apron and standing there, looking into the crowd. He poses as the song reaches the hook and mouths along to the "whatcha say"s. He stands there for a while, just soaking it all in and letting the fans wait. What a bastard. He then steps in through the ropes and turns to the cameras, reaching for the mat before throwing them up again for an "ADAM COLE BAYBAY!" He drops down to his knees, arms outstretched, screaming out into the crowd, before getting up and walking to the corner.
DING DING DING!
The bell rings but I'm not sure they heard it as they both continue standing in their respective corners, Cole sizing up Lesnar and thinking about his gameplan probably and Lesnar still amused with the fact he's been given Adam Cole, he jumps up and down as he does ya know what I mean and smirks, suddenly he explodes forward trying to ram Cole into the corner but the Undisputed one saw it coming and escaped to the outside just in time, he doesn't spend a long time there as he immediately goes a full circle and returns to stand right behind Brock who stopped himself a millimeter before meeting the corner and Cole uses that to dropkick him! Bork no-sells it
Mauro Ranallo: The big thing coming into this match is whether or not Adam Cole's intelligence and ring savvy be enough to overcome Brock's brute strength and athleticism and as of right now they seem to be equal.
Not one to be phased by a no sell, after all he's been friends with the Young Bucks, Cole continues the assault with punches and chops but Brock eats those like they are the whole boars he probably eats for breakfast, eventually, Cole decides it's working enough to try a big move and goes for a Superkick but Brock catches it! he smiles at Cole before switching places with him and launching him across the ring with a T-bone suplex! Cole gets up on the other corner of the ring trying to catch his breath but he is interrupted with a mountain of meat otherwise known as Brock Lesnar's shoulder jamming itself full speed into his gut! one time just ain't enough so Brock goes a second, a third and a fourth before taking a step back and flattening Cole with a blow with the mace he calls hands to his back! Brock flips Cole over like he's yesterday's garbage and puts his leg on him for a pin
1...
t...
NO!
Corey Graves: We're seeing that Brock is manhandling Cole and that proves that everything you just said is wrong and that the only big thing coming into this match is Brock Lesnar and believe me that he'll still be the big thing after the match is over.
Tom Phillips: Aren't you a fan of Adam Cole?
Corey Graves: I'm a fan of winners.
Back to the match ya'll, so where were we? oh yeah Cole kicks out, that has been well regarded as a bad idea as Brock immediately mounts him and begins unleashing a barrage of punches which Cole tries his best to block but you try to block two cinder blocks coming down at you while a thicc man sits on your lungs, after a few grueling seconds of punishment the ref instructs Brock to get off, this too has been well regarded as a bad idea cause Brock is now mad at the ref and gets off of Cole to threaten him, lucky for the ref Heyman is there to remind the beast that a match is taking place, Brock simply shoves the ref a bit which of course drops him, he then goes to pick up Cole but is met with a kick to the face! he staggers back a bit, just enough space for Cole to get up and land a superkick! Brock is stunned and Cole is super hurt, too hurt to capitalize? nah, he charges Lesnar and nails him with an enzuigiri but Lesnar is still standing, and that's where the gameplan comes in, instead of smashing the attack head button Cole starts to target Bork's leg with lighting fast low kicks! he throws countless kicks before Lesnar tries to retaliate with a desperate lariat but Cole ducks underneath it and blasts Brock's knee with a super low kick! Brock falls down! it's looking like Last Shot Mark II is coming!
Cole charges the ropes and goes to knee Brock in the face but Brock blocks it with his arms! the recoil sends Cole back a bit and when he goes back to Lesnar to attempt a different move Brock explodes up and quicker than you can say jacked white boy he gets behind Cole and sends him flying with a german suplex! he holds onto the waist and throws him another time and then another time! oh wait, and another time! he finally lets go of Cole and goes to taunt the crowd and the management, yelling in the Brock voice about how Cole has nothing on him and that he's done, Heyman goes along as he claps and points at Lesnar, after Brock decides he did enough gloating he picks up Cole and goes for the F5!
Tom Phillips: Well it was a valiant effort by Adam Cole but it's a done deal from here.
Mauro Ranallo: In the end, it seems like brute strength won this one.
Mauro well yes but actually no because just as Brock is about to drop Cole with the F5 the undisputed slips out and lands behind Lesnar where he nails yet another super low kick to the knee! Brock once again falls down and Cole goes for the Last Shot Mark II again, but just as he's about to hit Lesnar who had his arm up in defense again he passes by him and rebounds off of the other side to jack his knee into the beast's neck! The last Shot Mark II lands! Cole slowly and barely manages to roll Lesnar over and pin him
1...
2...
3!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner AAAAAAAADAM.... COOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like I was terribly wrong there! great and hard-fought win by Adam Cole here.
Corey Graves: Yes! always knew he had it in his pocket!
Cole suffered a great deal of damage by the beast but that doesn't stop him from celebrating while Heyman checks on Brock and the feed moves elsewhere
The scene opens up outside, the daylight starting to fade away as the sun sets. A house is seen, no lights on outside of one. The window it emanates from is barely visible, the glass fading into the ground halfway and being hidden from the rest of the world to see. The camera comes closer, and the sound of faint music is heard. Not audible enough to make out any discerning features, but more than loud enough to know it is playing from the basement area, and would probably be able to bother any neighbors nearby if the rest of the house wasn't surrounded by empty fields. Some trees scatter about when you look far behind the house, but otherwise it just looks to be in the-
Middle of goddamn nowhere!
suddenly cutting inside the house, a group of three men are seen sitting down at a table, raucous laughter lifting all of their spirits. Various cans and glasses of beer are scattered about on the floor, on the table, anywhere that isn't an actual garbage. On one end of the table sits a burly man, tattoos adorning each of his arms and a goatee that hangs rather far down to his chest, contrasting his baldness quite well. Holding a bottle in one hand and the table with the other, he tries to regain his composure.
Luke Gallows: So us three, me and Karl and uh...ah hell, who was the other one? The guy was sleeping in the back seat so of course he ain't any goddamn help. Anyways, we are all stuck in this rental car, right? Dead battery, middle of the highway about 45 minutes away from the arena we were just at and-and the sign right in front of us, no joke if I got out the car maybe five feet in front of the car, saying "Hey there's no need to worry guys, the next exit has a rest stop!"
The table once again goes into a fit of laughter again, Gallows himself trying to keep hold of the bottle while pounding the table with his free hand. On his right, a fellow not quite as beefy as him but still quite muscular, his hair shaven down to a mohawk, and a more traditional mustache/beard combination on his face.
Luke Gallows: Me and Karl are in this car, pissed as hell about us being late to the next show, being docked pay, and who do we see cruising by us?
Gallows puts his hand onto Shawn's shoulder, and takes a swig of his drink.
Shawn Spears: This guy!
Gallows and Spears, as well as the other one at the table crack up, and Gallows tries grabbing Shawn in a headlock and nearly causes both of them to fall out of their chairs trying to do so.
Luke Gallows: This goddamn guy! He drives by with Peyton, I think, and for a second Karl takes a look and has to ask "Ey LG, was that The Perfect 10 who just drove by us?!" and I turned to him, I looked back and saw them take the exit with the rest stop, I turn to Karl and say "Yeyup Karl, that was definitely Shawn and his little Aussie chick." and, I swear to god, we have two psychic moments. The first one, is me and Karl both sayin "MOTHER FUCKER!" at the same time because we are still stuck in this piece of crap rental car with a dead battery, and the second one is that we see their car turn around and start heading back! Now bear in mind it is definitely past 1...maybe 2 AM at this point so the highway is completely dead save for our dumbasses trying to get to the next town, and what did you two tell us?
Shawn Spears: Peyton tells me to get out of the car and talk to you two, why I had to I will probably never know, I come over and I ask "Hey guys you having some car troubles? You got AAA or something?"
Luke Gallows: So this guy drives on the wrong side of the highway to come back to us, and the first thing he asks us at 2 in the morning is if we have Triple A?! WHAT FUCKIN TRIPLE A TOW TRUCK IS GOING TO COME OUT AT 2 IN THE MORNING TO PICK US UP?!
again the table starts cracking up, and finally the camera pans over to show the third man, Curtis Axel sitting down with about 4 bottles in front of him. He's absolutely losing it over the story so far, trying to catch his breath as Gallows goes to continue.
Shawn Spears: Listen you never know what nutjob company is going to have someone come in at 2 AM for roadside assistance!
Luke Gallows: Nah, man! There is no way if we had called AAA or any insurance company that we'd get a response and someone sending a tow truck out our way to bring us to the arena at 2 AM. We'd have been stuck there for another 4 hours at least!
Shawn Spears: You wanna bet on that, Luke?
Luke Gallows: Another time. Anyways, after I get over wanting to slam this guy's face against the hood of the car, Karl says "Yeah can we get a ride to the arena? We'll help pay gas, whatever." To which I replied with the thought that anyone would have when their friend is offering for the group to pay gas, "BULLSHIT! I'm not paying any goddamn gas money!" Karl then looks at me like I just did some unforgivable action or something, like he was upset that I had said that, and you just turn and say "Nah we good for gas."
Shawn Spears: That isn't what I said! I said "I don't wanna force that on you, let's go 50-50 on gas money."
Luke Gallows: Yeah, and to me that meant you and Peyton were going 50-50 so we're riding for free because our car broke down.
Shawn Spears: Where do you even get that idea from?!
Luke Gallows: From me not wanting to pay gas on a long drive to the next arena. Regardless, you give me and Karl a ride and-
Shawn Spears: And the third guy. He was there too.
Luke Gallows: Yeah but fuck the third guy he was sleeping the entire time! Anyways, you give us three a ride and we get to the arena, and then me and Karl are yelled at for the rental car breaking down-
Shawn Spears: And for the gas money-
Luke Gallows: Yes mr. Loch Ness Monsta we get yelled at for the tree fiddy we owed you in gas money, and yet you still bitch about that gas money to this day.
Shawn Spears: Because you never even gave me the gas money you owed me!
Luke Gallows: Hey we still got yelled at about it, doesn't matter if the boss knew if we gave you the money or not!
Shawn Spears: The entire point of you being yelled at was to give me and Peyton the money.
Luke Gallows: Whatever. So Axeman what's up with you? We've been telling stories all night, but there must be something going on with you. Still on the job search? I'm telling you, just start up a podcast. It's done me and Karl wonders these past few years.
Axel sits up into his chair and tries to reach over to a nearby desk, barely able to get there and grab an envelope, before then bringing it to the table.
Curtis Axel: Thanks for the idea Luke but I'm all set.
Axel slide the envelope to the center of the table, and the other two read it over, the back of the envelope reading to be from the UWF Head Offices.
Shawn Spears: Ya finally got another job?! Congrats, man!
Curtis Axel: Yeah, took a bit of negotiating but we were able to come to terms on a pretty good deal for both parties. You two are now looking at the next full-time UWF superstar!
Luke Gallows: Well congratulations, how much ya making?
Curtis Axel: Never ask about a friend's salary at the table, Luke.
Luke Gallows: Ha, that just means you ain't making shit for pay!
Curtis Axel: More than your podcast makes probably.
Gallows looks slightly dejected as the laughter fades from his face at the dig by Axel, meanwhile Spears just laughs harder.
Curtis Axel: The money doesn't matter though, what matters is that now that I am in the UWF, maybe I could eventually talk to management and get you guys a job there?
Gallows immediately shakes his head no.
Luke Gallows: No way, man. I'm not acting as another tag fall guy or a bodyguard for someone. If they got a solo gig for me, then we can talk later, but they aren't going to be willing to give me a singles run.
Curtis Axel: Well how can you know for sure, man? Just let me try to talk to them about getting you a gig in a few months. Got to establish myself as trustworthy first before I try getting you guys in.
Shawn Spears: Well thanks for the offer, but I've already got a good thing going with Mike down in Florida.
Curtis Axel: Oh yeah, that training school you got down there. Hope that has been doing good for you. Any real standouts from the last class?
Shawn Spears: There are a few guys who could be pretty good in a few years, but there’s this one kid that...christ, I am glad he’s training to be a manager only because he can’t do anything in the ring to save his life.
Curtis Axel: That bad, huh? Well if Mike’s running that school with you, why don’t you just do that and come to UWF with me? Their tag scene is kinda weak, we could probably run the place there.
Shawn Spears: Oh yeah, us two and our combined 0 years of tag team history would run that division. What would we even call ourselves anyways?
Luke Gallows: What about that one name you sent to me a few years ago? PERFEC10N?
Shawn Spears: Oh god, I actually sent that out somewhere?! Had to have been years ago, it sounds like a name you give to an auto-generated team in a wrestling game’s season mode.
Curtis Axel: We don’t necessarily need a tag team name. We could just work together without a name and still rule the tag division.
Shawn Spears: Yeah, but no. This is your chance man, you finally get to go solo for a bit, take advantage of it.
Nobody responds for a few seconds, just opting to take swigs of their drinks or look around the small-ish den area.
Curtis Axel: Well...I think that’s about it for the night. You guys drive safe now, I’ve got to be packing up for the first show. I think we’re in Mexico City this week, so I’ll probably be stuck flying there.
Gallows stands up first, walking over and giving a crushing hug to Axel.
Luke Gallows: Best of luck brotha! Me and Karl will be watching so we can rip on you on the podcast.
Curtis Axel: Alright, alright, just don’t go too harsh on me alright?
Gallows gives a laugh towards Axel, releasing the hug.
Luke Gallows: Of course, man. Just joshin ya. Alright, have a good night dude!
With that, Luke takes his leave, grabbing his beanie from the hat rack and heading up the stairs to leave.
Shawn Spears: Well Curt, you finally got that run you wanted. Make it count, man.
Curtis Axel: Yeah...took a few more years, but I got it…
Spears then gives salutations off to Axel and begins heading up the stairs.
Curtis Axel: Hey Spears?
Shawn turns around, Axel still sitting at the table.
Give some thought to that offer. I know you said you got the training school, but if in a few months you start getting sick of teaching guys down in Florida, I’m sure they’d love to have a ring general like you in the company.
Shawn Spears: No way, dude. I’m already getting up there in age. Besides, this is your time, it’s the Axeman’s time! Take it and run, dude.
Spears then leaves, Axel still sitting at the table. Some chatter can be heard from upstairs, Spears probably talking it up with one of the kids, Axel thinks.
Curtis Axel: Been over ten years since I was a world champ...guess it is about time to see if a promotion is out there that would have that type of faith in me again.
With that last sentence, Axel stands up and heads out of the basement, the last thing picked up by the camera being him turning off the light.
The former World Tag Team Champions come out from the back to a chorus of boos. There's no dancing going on this time, instead they look pissed. They walk right down to the ring and are handed mics. Becky waste little time in getting right to the point.
Becky Lynch: Now usually we'd be out here dancin' and havin' a good time with our rightful World Tag Team Championships but thanks to two certain sore losers, that's not the case.
The fans pop, knowing she's talking about the Dudley Boyz.
Becky Lynch: Of course you people would cheer for those losers. They could barely beat a rundown team in Sweeney and Kyle so them losing to us was a forgone conclusion. We're the new greatest tag team in UWF history and they just can't stand that. Rather than just let us go and become World Tag Team Champions for the third time in a calendar year, they decided to screw us.
Sami Zayn: Your heroes brutally beat down a woman because she made them feel small. They couldn't stand how they were being shown up by a real Man so they took the low road. I've never seen a more cowardly act and I've seen Undisputed Era sneak attack 4 people already. By costing us you let those generic losers think they're actually good enough to be called champions. It's as if they weren't annoying enough! Drake Maverick however know that they don't bring in the ratings. They're off at home while some pre package airs but we get the spotlight tonight. Truth be told, we don't need those titles to prove we're the best in the division. We'll take care of the Undisputed Era in due time but right now, there's only one team on our mind.
Becky Lynch: You fat pieces of crap want to break my nose and beat me down for makin' you look like the old washed up garbage that you are, that's fine by me. Bring on all your animosity because The Man know how to pay her debts in full. The Dynamic Duo isn't just a cute nickname. We will beat the ever lovin' stuffin' outta you lads. After we get through with ya', you'll wish you never came back to the UWF.
Becky stares down the middle of the camera as if she's talking right to the Dudleyz watching in the back when no music is heard but a women's voice, quite clearly Stacy's is heard over the titantron.
Stacy: Are you done big Man?
The trio of Stacy, Bubba & D-Von come out onto the stage as the crowd cheer for the 3 superstars.
Stacy: Now we have done a whole lot of talking recently so we are going to keep this real short. I'm the manager of the Dudley Boyz trio so I need to manage what happens with them. That's why tonight I gave Spike the night off after his hard fought win at Wrestlemania and I had planned on giving my tag team of Bubba & D-Von the night off after you ginger whingers robbed us of our Wrestlemania comeback story.
But you just couldn't leave it alone could you? I fully understand, what Bubba did at Wrestlemania wasn't exactly fair was it? It wasn't very sporting like. Hey, aren't we suppose to be the good guys after all but what the man down there did was get an unfair advantage to eliminate my boys from the match. It was unfair so Bubba took out his frustrations. Spike has already had a word with him, telling him that isn't what we are about. We are better then that, we understand that we stooped to your level. We understand we did wrong at Wrestlemania but we ain't going to apologise to you if that is what you are after. What we will do however is welcome your attention. You gave us an excuse for being eliminated at Wrestlemania so we thought we would return the favour and give you a reason for your loss. You should be thanking us but I for one am glad you aren't. I for one am glad you are angry and have your attention towards us because we have been waiting for a feud since we came back. We were sick of just beating teams up for the fun of it so if you want to have a fight with us..... bring it on. We are ready whenever you are.
Stacy lowers the mic after letting her feelings known. The Dudleyz stand by her side waiting for something to happen. Just then, the titantron flares to life to reveal Drake Maverick!
DRAKE MAVERICK
Ladies... gentlemen... please! Let's all bear in mind that we are professionals, dial back the tension in that ring and save the fight for a proper match, shall we? The way I see it, there are two excellent, era-defining tag teams in that ring. First, the three-time UWF Tag Champions, the legendary Dudley Boyz!
Maverick's acknowledgement of the Dudleyz draws a pop from the fans. He smiles.
And opposite them, the two-time UWF World Tag Champions, Becky Lynch and Sami Zayn... the Dynamic Duo!
As loud as the pop was before, the heat for the second pair to be named is at least doubled. Drake holds a hand up.
Please. Please. You might not like their methods or their attitudes, but there can be no denying that Becky Lynch and Sami Zayn have to this point been the faces of the Revolution tag team division. They are the first and thus far only two-time champions of the division, and they very well could have been three-time champions had Bubba Dudley not taken the actions he did at Wrestlemania. That's no small achievement, least of all in this competitive era of UWF tag wrestling. But as impressive as their run here has been, does it compare to the Dudleyz'? There's only one way to settle the matter of which team is the better one.
The audience is buzzing, anticipating what Maverick has to say next.
Let's answer the question definitively. At Backlash, we will have the Dudleyz and the Dynamic Duo squaring off in a two of three falls tag team match!
The announcement draws a loud pop from the crowd. Maverick grins.
AND! To make things especially interesting, the match will be for the Number One Contendership to the UWF World Tag Team Championships!
This added announcement draws an even louder pop from the fans as the rival teams stare each other down in the ring. Maverick disappears as the Revolution graphic returns to the 'tron and commentary hypes up the freshly-announced contest, before the feed moves along.
The scene opens up on a local hospital. It starts panning down a hallway and then turns into one of the rooms and there, in one of the beds, lies Vinny Marseglia hooked up to an IV and various other things.
Vinny Marseglia: I’ve never seen anything like it. There I was at my worst and blood thirstiest, in my element and dishing out torture like I’d never dished out before, and you survived it. Looking back, maybe I shouldn’t have been so eager to torment you and finished you the several times I had the chance but I’m not one for regrets. What happened is what happened and while I told you the aftermath of your victory would result in me coming after you that much harder, the truth is I’m not in any condition to do that. Even the, “Horror King” is just a mortal man and finally someone has done something extreme enough to make me sit on the sidelines and heal. So for now, you won’t be seeing Vinny Marseglia on the active roster or as a part of the Revolution program going forward. I’m stepping away for the time being and who knows, the day may come that I come roaring back and start stacking bodies again but for now, this is goodbye.
Chimel: The following contest is a tag-team match and is set for one-fall!
Chimel: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 343 pounds... Leyton Buzzard and Sammy Guevara!
The snare drum rolls through the PA to welcome the fellas to the arena. They start down the ramp, looking confident heading into the match against some promotional newcomers.
Ranallo: They may have failed in their goal of capturing the UWF World Tag Team Championships at Wrestlemania, but this young tandem will look to rebound against the UWF's newest addition to the tag team division.
Phillips: It's an important bout for Leyton and Guevara - a win puts them right back in the mix while a loss could have them looking like a stepping stone. But it looks like they're as relaxed and confident as ever - could a lack of intensity hurt them here?
Graves: I don't think so. What they need to do is be the best versions of themselves. That's what got them into the UWF. Yano and Ishii are going to have the jitters with this, their first foray into the true major leagues. If anyone needs to be worried about the mentality, its them.
Ranallo: Ishii is going to have "jitters?"
Sammy and Leyton climb into the ring and await the arrival of their opponents.
As the music start to play, Yano comes out holding his DVD and asking every fan in attendance to buy it from him. While Ishii is walking behind him with no emotion on his face. As Ishii gets into the ring, Yano goes around ringside still trying to sell the DVD to someone.
Chimel: And their opponents, from Kanagawa, Japan, weighing in at 220 lbs, The Stone Pitbull, Tomohiro Ishii!
Ishii goes to to the comer to stretch Yano gets into the ring and tries to sell the DVD to Chimel. When that fails he hands Chimel a piece of paper and instructs him to read it.
Chimel: And his partner, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 253 lbs, he currently has a DVD that you can buy for the low price of $29.99, that you can also find at the merchandise stand or in Yano's car after the show, Toru Yano!
Yano holds up the DVD and goes to Ishii in the corner and get ready for the match.
Graves: This clown seems more concerned about making a quick buck that a wrestling match against world class competition. I don't expect this to last long.
Phillips: Don't let him fool you, Corey. Yano is a deceptively effective grappler. A bit of an odd couple pairing with the very stoic Ishii, though.
Ranallo: But a historically successful one. UWF historians may remember CHAOS's first excursion into the UWF back when Okada and Nakamura tore up the tag team division on Thunder. Their former stablemates will strive to reach even greater heights as they make their bid for those UWF World Tag Team Championships here on Revolution.
Ishii and Guevara take to the apron while Yano and Buzzard kick things off. Chimel bails, the Referee calls for the bell, and the match is on!
VS
DING DING
Buzzard gets his dukes up while Yano assumes a low, traditional posture to begin with. The competitors circle each other, a few feints teased as they size each other up. While the raucous, post-Mania crowd settles in to see what the new team has to offer, the tension eventually breaks when Leyton shoots in, looking for a collar-and-elbow. Yano looks to meet him in the center of the squared circle, only to duck Buzzard at the last instant and blow right past him!
Leyton grabs nothing but air while Yano scurries behind his back to a neutral corner, where he hastily starts to undo the pads on the rings holding the rope to the turnbuckles. Those familiar with his schtick are stoked about it, while the newcomers in the crowd can't help but laugh at his frantic antics. Buzzard turns around, confused, while the Official hurries over to stop Yano from dismantling the ring.
Graves: What the hell is going on in there?
Ranallo: Vintage Toru Yano, that's what.
Graves: He should be disqualified. Buzzard and Guevara are your winners, ladies and gentlemen.
The fifth man admonishes Yano, who puts up his hands defensively and feigns a lack of comprehension of the English language. Waving him off, the Referee quickly tries to re-attach the pad while Yano runs diagonally across the ring, brushing past his opponent, to do the exact same thing in the other neutral corner. The Official is still distracted, so an annoyed Buzzard takes matters into his own hands. He marches over to Toru and yanks him away from the corner right after he undoes the pad. Yano spins, thumbs Buzzard in the eye, bulldog's his face into the buckle and then rolls him up outta nowhere!
Graves: This guy is a menace!
Ranallo: Certainly outside the rules, but the crowd loves it!
They sure do. The people cheer as Yano stunts his way to the first pinfall attempt of the contest. It's their screaming that alerts the Ref to the action happening behind his back. Stripes wheels around, non the wiser to all the shenanigans, and makes the count...
1...
2...
No! Buzzard powers out at two! The Brit blinks the poke out of his eye as he stumbles back to his feet, affording Yano the chance to sneak right back in there with a second roll-up! The Referee drops to count again...
1...
2...
Buzzard gets out again! Yano doesn't waste any time in getting to his feet. He picks Leyton up and tries to whip him into the exposed corner, only for the Brit to plant his feet, shift the weight and send Yano that direction instead. The Japanese superstar heads towards the danger zone full throttle, but manages to catch himself by bracing his hands on the ropes, avoiding disaster. Buzzard charges after him, only for Toru to step out of the way right before he can get sandwiched.
He comes close, but Leyton also stops himself just in time to avoid slamming his own chest into the exposed metal. The Referee finally notices what's going on and intervenes, ordering Leyton to stand aside so he can fix the padding. With the Official's back turned again, Yano drops behind Leyton and goes for a low blow! But Buzzard is getting wise to his trick and catches his arm by closing his thighs. Sammy Guevara then dashes into the ring and nails the kneeling newcomer in the back of the head with a wild dropkick! Yano goes down hard while Guevara slithers back to the outside.
Ishii steps through the ropes to correct the injustice, but the Ref seems him coming and goes over to stop him from entering the match illegally. Ishii doesn't protest, but gives the Ref a glare that's like "do your job or I'll rip your arms off". Message received. The Official goes back to the action just in time to find Buzzard hooking a now semi-conscious Yano's leg for a pin attempt of his own! The crowd boos, but the Referee slides down to do his job...
1...
2...
Yano kicks out at two!
Ranallo: A close call there. Yano was nearly finished off by that illegal double team.
Graves: This match has already gone to hell in a hand basket. That rookie Referee has lost all control. There aren't any rules left to play by.
Buzzard grabs Yano by the scruff of the neck and drags him back towards his corner, tagging in Guevara for the first time. The athletic young talent flings himself over the ropes before shoving Yano down into a seat position at the base of their home turnbuckle. From their, Guevara proceeds to stomp a hole through his opponent, landing some nasty boots to his chest and face before the Referee finally moves in to break it up. Sammy raises his hands and pleads his innocence before reaching over the Ref's shoulder to tag his partner back in.
Stepping through the ropes, Buzzard runs across the ring, bounces off the cables and comes back to smash Yano with a low dropkick. Toru is devastated by the impact and Leyton drags his limp body out towards the middle of the ring before tagging Guevara back in. Sammy catapults himself up on to the top of the buckle before soaring high with an impressive moonsault that lands flush. Yano is pancaked by his body, but rather than making a cover, Sammy just kneels over his body and smiles, posing for the people. They boo their faces off.
Graves: Sammy Guevara is going to win this match and look good doing it! This kid might just be the future of the whole industry!
Ranallo: Showing his youth and inexperience but forgoing a pin attempt to play to the crowd.
Graves: Ha! Not really. He and Buzzard are firmly in control of this match. If they're looking to send a message to the whole division coming out of Wrestlemania, a win with style is the way to do it. I'm sure Drake Maverick is very impressed right now.
Sammy pulls Yano up to a seated position before sinking in a chinlock. He pulls deep and tight on the neck of his opponent, cutting of the airflow and stunting the already laboured breathing of a man who just took a picture perfect Moonsault. The colour in Yano's pale face changes to a bright red before slipping into something more sickly purple. The Referee asks for some verbal confirmation that Toru is able to continue, and when he doesn't get any, goes to the old arm raise test.
On the first lift, Yano's arm falls limp back to his side. The crowd gasps. Is it already over?
A second lift with equally depressing results. Toru might be as out as his latest DVD. A nervous murmuring sweeps through the arena.
The Official raises his arm a third and final time...
But Yano lives! His trembling fingers grab hold of the Referee's collar, insisting that there is still some fight left! The Ref yanks himself away, kinda knocking himself off balance as he tugs his shirt free. Toru uses that one little moment of confusion to fire a thumb back into Guevara's eye! Sammy lets go, rolling around in pain as Yano catches his breath and starts the long crawl back to his corner.
Ranallo: Toru Yano somehow holds on and now has the chance to save himself by introducing his partner to the match for the first time.
Phillips: Tomohiro Ishii could turn the tide for this team but Guevara could stop all that by tagging out first, and he is much closer to his own corner.
Graves: But he can't see where he's going! That dirty little cheater just blinded him! This is outrageous!
Sammy is still writhing and fumbling around blindly, trying to follow Buzzard's voice back to his home corner. Unfortunately, it's lost beneath the roar of the crowd who are willing Yano to power. Toru slowly but surely pulls himself towards his partner's outstretched hand, desperate for the salvation of a tag.
On the other side of the ring, Guevara finds the ropes, and uses those to guide himself back towards Leyton. He tags the Brit back into action and Buzzard doesn't waste a second in hurrying over to cut Yano off.
But Toru tags out just in time! Buzzard comes to a screeching halt as the Stone Pitbull gets into the fight. Ishii flattens Buzzard with a lariat. The peppy Brit pops right back up, only to take another that turns him inside out. He flips over and lands seated, setting him up as Ishii hits the rops, runs back and comes down the nail the Sliding Lariat! That's enough to put Buzzard down and Ishii hooks the leg for a cover...
1...
2...
No! Buzzard gets a shoulder up in time! Ishii looks annoyed, but stays on top of things, picking Leyton up before serving him a few forearms to the head. The blows knocked him silly, and leave him out on his feet. Ishii hooks Buzzard's arms around his neck before hoisting him high for a Brainbuster. But as the Brit is going up, his feet kick out wildly and hit the Ref! The Official gets knocked over and and is down for the count!
Phillips: Buzzard just took out the Referee!
Graves: It was an accident! Ishii needs to be careful with where he's lifting people.
Tomohiro doesn't even notice. Guevara, who has since regained his eyesight, seizes the friggin day and slides into the ring, pushing Buzzard's back as Ishii lifts him vertical. This sends Leyton back down to his feet and the Stone Pitbull just releases his hold to turn around to confront the interloper. When he does so, though, Sammy greets his with a kick that lands low. Ishii doubles over and falls down, felled by the illegal shot. The crowd jeers but Guevara just smiles that cocksure smile. He tells Buzzard to make the cover while he shakes the Referee back to life. Yano, meanwhile, is still too beat up to help much, and is recovering in his corner, just barely aware of what's happening around him. The Official crawls over the make while Guevara, laughing like a jerk, goes back to his own corner and theatrically counts along.
Phillips: Buzzard and Guevara are going to steal the win!
1...
Ranallo; You hate to see it!
2....
Ishii kicks out at a deep two! He's still hurt, but manages to fight out! The crowd cheers! Guevara is furious. Buzzard is shocked. The Brit screams at the Ref to do his job before picking Ishii up. The Stone Pitbull cuts him off with a sturdy headbutt to the bridge of his nose that absolutely rocks him. He then whips Buzzard into his own corner with such force that it knocks Guevara off the apron! Leyton stumbles away from the corner, clutching chest in pain. Tomohiro catches him coming back, spins him around, tucks his head and sets him up for a Powerbomb.
With Leyton up on his shoulders, Ishii looks to execute the maneuver only for Buzzard to reverse with a headscissors take down. Ishii rolls over top and sommersaults back to his own corner, where Yano sneakily tags himself back in. The Ref sees it, but Buzzard doesn't get the notice, and looks to keep the pressure on the Stone Pitbull. He drags Ishii out towards the middle of the ring, looking to do some real damage all while failing to notice Yano coming up from behind. The DVD purveyor snags him with a small package outta nowhere and the Referee counts it...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNERS...
TORU YANO AND TOMOHIRO ISHII!
Yano lets go of the hold and rolls off, looking a bit surprised but absolutely thrilled with himself. Buzzard can't believe what just happened, and, in the spirit of poor sportsmanship, looks to go after Yano. Ishii steps in his way and with one scowl ends that before it can start. Leyton isn't about to play that numbers game, so he heads outside and joins Guevara on the walk to the back. In the ring, the Official raises Yano and Ishii's hands in victory.
Phillips: An impressive debut from Yano and Ishii! They've made a believer out of me. I might just have to buy a DVD.
Graves: You disgust me. And so do they. I can't believe are audience is supportive of these cheaters.
Ranallo: Well, whatever you think about them, Yano and Ishii just picked up a win in a division where every other team besides the Undisputed Era are coming out of Wrestlemania with a loss. That's a huge statement and I look forward to seeing what they do next.
Phillips: It will be interesting to see how Buzzard and Guevara regroup, too. I don't expect they'll let bygones by bygones here.
The nasty looks on their faces as they glare back towards the ring suggest as much. But as Guevara and Buzzard then head backstage, Ishii and Yano's music plays and the new tandem enjoys their big debut in the ring while the fans cheer. Revolution continues elsewhere.
The titantron switches from the UWF Revolution graphic to a live feed from backstage. Big pop from the crowd when they see Sweet n' Sour Inc. walking down the hallway.
Sweeney: Ahaahahahaha! There's no place like home, mama! No place at all! Let me tell ya something Kyle, these dusty, dingy hallways used to give me the creeps! I couldn't walk from catering to Gorilla without just about breaking into a God forsaken asthma attack! But after some time away... ahahaha... oh yeah, after a little vacation time, ol' Uncle Larry started to miss it all. Not just the spotlights. Not just the fame. Not just the championships and the champagne and all that jazz. No no no... no... its the little things, too Kyle!
As Larry passes by a storage crate, he rubs his hand over the surface, lifts it to his nose and takes a big long sniff of nostalgia.
Sweeney: Mmmmmhmmmm... that's the good stuff! Ahahaha!
O'Reilly, walking beside him, isn't quite so enthusiastic. His reserved silence is telling, but Mr. 12 Large isn't about to entertain any ants at his picnic.
Sweeney: Ah, what'sa matter Kyle? Chin up buddy! It's a beautiful day! A beautiful day to be a professional wrassler! Haha! Come on now, what's wrong? Huh? Blood sugar low? High? They're both bad, right? Or no - that's not it, is it? So what? Lost your wallet? Some honey ghosting ya? Bad hair day? No... wait... it's the titles, isn't it?
Larry steps ahead, pivots, cuts Kyle off with a firm hand on his shoulder and looks his partner right in the eye.
Sweeney: Now you listen to me, Kyle O'Reilly. You listen to me and you listen real good. Losing a championship match at Wrestlemania, that's a heartbreaker. There's no pain on God's green earth that stings like that. But I'll tell you something else - you and me? We're gonna win those puppies back in no time! Understand? Haha! No time at all. Cause you and me, we're the dream team, right? Who else besides us could have pulled over the longest UWF Championship reign in history? Triple Champ? Remember? That was us together! Partners in crime, baby!
Those UWF World Tag Team Championships might not technically be in our hands right now, but it's just a matter of time. Just a matter of time! Who beat the most teams in the Turmoil match? Us! We cut through half of this division like a hot knife through butter and that was with me coming off the bench! So it stands to reason that with a little bit of R&R and some gameplanning, there's isn't a tandem in this whole damn company we couldn't run roughshod on, right? Especially once we get the band back together! Sweet n' Sour Inc, back in business! Hahaha! Let's go find Edge and Christian, those goof balls'll cheer ya right up!
Sweeney turns and heads down the hall again. Kyle nervously pursues him before getting ahead to cut him off this time.
KO'R: Uh, hey Larry? Like, I don't know if you remember what all went down around Wrestlemania last year but Edge and Christian kinda got like... murdered... I think...
Sweeney: Psssh! Of course I remember! Sorta. You're telling me that those two bleach blonde canuckleheads aren't back in action yet?
KO'R: Well... I mean... they got pushed down an elevator shaft...
The former Triple Champ waves off that nonsense and starts down the hallway again, only mildly discouraged.
Sweeney: Fine. Fine. That's fine. Let's just meet up with Bischoff and the boys and we'll figure out our next move. There's nobody that can stop the nWo train once it starts rollin', am I right? Aha! Choo choo, suckers, the black and white express is rolling through town again! Ahahahaha!
Kyle hustles to catch up and stop Larry once more.
KO'R: Hey. Yeah. Uh... they're gone too.
Sweeney: Come again?
KO'R: Ummm... uh-huh. The nWo is kinda... well, it kind isn't, actually.
Sweeney: Ricky Rude?
KO'R: Gone.
Sweeney: Big Kev?
KO'R: Nope.
Sweeney: Sleazy Scotty?
KO'R: Haven't heard from him in months.
Sweeney: Easy E?
KO'R: I think he's doing a podcast now...
Larry throws his hands into the air in frustration, shaking his fists at the sky before regaining some composure.
Sweeney: Okay. Alright. So you're telling me that our whole New World Order - Sweet n' Sour Incorporated connection is kaput, is that right?
KO'R: Yeah...
Sweeney: So how have you been getting by this whole time? It breaks my heart to think you've been all alone out here, just you against the world.
KO'R: Actually I had a partner. But the Undisputed Era kinda retired him with a dirty sneak attack.
Sweeney: You're telling me those mooks that our holding our UWF World Tag Team Championships did you dirty? They took our your partner?
KO'R: Yeah. I hate them a lot. Especially Bobby Fish.
Sweeney: Bobby Fish, huh? Ridiculous name. He'll never draw a dime. Alright. Well, things are sight worse than I expected coming back but it's all gonna be alright. We'll figure this out. Let's just head back to the ol' Clubhouse and come up with a plan from there, alright? Alright.
Sweeney turns again and heads in the direction of the nWo Clubhouse, which of course, became the Strong Dragons Dojo. Kyle doesn't even have the heart to chase after him this time, but after a few steps down the hall, Larry notices O'Reilly is still standing where he left him. Mr. 12 Large rolls his eyes as he turns back around.
Sweeney: Ugh... now what?
KO'R: The Undisputed Era trashed the Clubhouse.
That's the straw that breaks the camel's back. Larry loses his cool in a bad way, kicking over storage crates and flipping over stacks of chairs and stuff, tossing his fancy boa into the air and his aviators off to the side as he spazzes out and tantrums all over the backstage hallway. Nervous crew members turn and walk away rather than try and around him. Kyle just stands back as the situation sinks in on his partner. Finally, Larry gets himself under some semblance of control. He looks around like a cornered, wild animal before finding the cameraman who has been following them since their arrival. He marches right up to the lens and promos right into that sucker.
Sweeney: And here I was having a good night. I was really enjoying myself. Sweet n' Sour Inc. was keen to just sit back and watch tonight's show before getting down to business but now what? Huh? I come back home and alls I hear is bad news. And I ask myself, yeah I say "well what's to be done about all that then? huh?" Like where do I point the finger? Where does the blame fall? What's the specific source of all my terrible, terrible pain and sorrows and woeful... ness...
Larry leans in closer to the camera, and spits their name through gritted teeth.
The Undisputed Era...
I wouldn't know you bozos from Adam. Five minutes ago, as far as I was concerned all you had was our UWF World Tag Team Championships, and the borrowed time that comes with holding something that belongs to Sweet n' Sour Inc. But now? Now you've got something else too! The Undisputed Era, you've got a problem! A big one! Cause you've gone and made this little feud of ours personal!
Seems like when the cat was away the mouse did play but Daddy's home now, kids. You're looking at the longest reining UWF Champion in history. The Triple Champ. The man who unified two worlds championships and defended gold more times than anyone else in Revolution history. Sweet n' Sour Inc. built the house you're living in and now rent's due, ya mangy scrubs! You hurt my buddy's buddy. You trashed our Clubhouse. And now you're wearing our title gold. I had my sights on a certain spooky greaseball for my grand return but that bum Marseglia's gonna have to wait while we settle some family business.
This? This is personal. Real personal, fellas. Enjoy your little celebration tonight cause it won't be long until you're seein' Sweet n' Sour Incorporated around. Aha... ahaha... no, it won't be long at all, Mama! Ahahahaha!
With a fiendish cackle, Sweeney turns and heads back out the way they came from. Kyle stays behind a moment longer and takes his turn in front of the camera to deliver a short, succinct send-off.
KO'R: Bobby Fish, you're a dead man walking.
With that, he takes off after Larry and the feed cuts out. Revolution continues elsewhere.
The camera pans to a Rey Mysterio who is sitting with his doctor
Doctor: Alright Rey it seems like everything is good. Tell me again why you wanted your knee cleaned again? It seemed fine last time we talked.
Rey Mysterio: It felt weird during Wrestlemania Doc. Besides a simple clean up isn't a big deal right now.
Doctor: Well like I say my patients know there bodies better than I do. So I'll send the note the UWF you're all good to go.
Rey Mysterio: Doctor... Can you also give them an okay for me to use my knee brace?
Doctor: Knee brace? Why would you need that to be cleared?
Rey Mysterio: Doc I have had many surgeries. The thing that I need most is my special knee brace. The UWF though they deem it as a weapon.
Doctor: A weapon? That is just silly. You're not throwing it at people are you?
Rey Mysterio: No. But the UWF thinks it is cheating to have it in the ring. So if you can clear it up for me that be great.
Doctor: Rey you cheat? You're one of the most honest men I know. An absolute complete pleasure. Let me go write your notes and I'll be back.
Rey Mysterio: Thank you doctor.
The doctor leaves and Rey speeks into the camera smiling
Rey Mysterio: Citizens of the UWF. You see this is why having healthcare is important. This kind doctor provided me a tool that will keep me competitive for months to come. You see I need to be the best hero I can be, but without my knee brace I can't be competitive. People like to think of other dispicable reasons why I want this knee brace. Though the truth is I need this knee brace. I need it to keep it stable. Citizens I am your number one hero would I lie to you? No that's not what heroes do. Plus by getting my knee cleaned I am doing my opponent the mad man a favor. He is so beaten up he needs all the help he can get. I am making this an equal playing ground.
Rey stands up and he begins squatting and doing stretches before talking again
Rey Mysterio: See all good. All ready to go. I am excited to see what the mad man brings to the table. This is going to be an interesting battle, but like I told him I am going to tell you citizens this isn't the last time you'll see it happen. I am going to win, and when I do win what is going to happen is I am going to challenge him for that intercontinental title. Than once I win that belt it will bring me on step closer to the ultimate power. Now I have seen some of your tweets. Some people saying I am discrediting Shibata. I ask myself how so? Shibata just went to war with one of the most dangerous men ever here in the UWF, and he won. Shibata is one of the most strongest powerful men we have seen here in the UWF. If anything Shibata is overlooking me just like everyone else.
Rey goes and he walks towards the scale and jumps on it reads 175 lbs. Rey gets off and he walks towards the camera
Rey Mysterio: 175 lbs. People see that and think of how tiny I am, and how small I am. People see that but they forget just who I am. I am the number 1 hero here in the UWF. I am the one who throught time after time has been disrespected by oppoenets because of my size. Yet my opponents don't look at my will to win. Tell me what threat does Shibata bring to the ultimate ghost here in the UWF? I am your hero but I am aslo a ghost. Never really looked at until all of a sudden I smack them in the face. Well you know what they say about ghosts we don't walk we glide. And I am looking to glide to the UWF championship so mad man I am happy to see be facing you, and I looked forward to facing you again when the stakes really matter.
The doctor comes back in
Doctor: Hey Rey here is your doctors note my friend
Rey Mysterio: Oh why thank you Doctor.
Doctor: No probelm now try and take it easy out ther okay?
Rey Mysterio: When do I don't doctor?
Doctor: Well I see you here often so let's not make it a habit.
Rey Mysterio: Doc I promise.
The camera fades as the show continues
RAINING BLOOD BY SLAYER HITS THE PA LIKE A SACK OF OLD BRICKS AS THE CROWD ANTICIPATE THE ARRIVAL OF THE HEAVY METAL GOD KNOWN AS WARHORSE, THE DISTORTION OF THE INTRO CATCHES EVERYONE OFF GUARD, AS THE MAIN RIFF BEGINS TO HIT THROUGH THE PA, AND WARHORSE COMES THROUGH THE CURTAIN WITH HIS SLEEVELESS JEAN JACKET ON, AND ATTIRE READY TO RULE SOME ASS. HE HEAD-BANGS ON THE TOP OF THE RAMP, AS DOES THE CROWD BECAUSE THEY KNOW THIS IS ALL ABOUT TO GO DOWN TO CHINATOWN SINCE WARHORSE IS HERE.
Tony Chimel: Weighing in tonight at 4000 lbs of Raw Heavy Metal, from St Louis, Missouiri, USA, Warhorse!
CHIMEL DOESN'T GET WARHORSE'S VIBE HE NEVER WILL BECAUSE HE DOESN'T RULE ASS AND PROBABLY NEVER LISTENS TO METAL. HE WON'T GET IT. WARHORSE WALKS DOWN THE RAMP WITH RAW HORSEPOWER, CIRCLING THE RING, AND THEN SLIDING ONTO THE APRON, CLIMBING UP QUICKLY AND GETTING RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE FOR ALL TO SEE WARHORSE. HE BANGS HIS HEAD, AS DOES THE CROWD AGAIN. THEY KNOW HOW MUCH ASS THIS RULES, AND HOW MUCH HE'S ABOUT TO RULE. WATCH YO' AUNTIE JIMMY.
Following the few seconds of buildup to the intro, out walks Curtis Axel, stepping out to the stage and looking over the audience for a few seconds before beginning to warm himself up, then letting a roar out as he stretches out his arms.
Tony Chimel: ”From Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 228 lbs, Curtis Axel!”
Axel then rolls into the ring, standing back up and getting right into his corner, waiting for the bell to sound.
VS 
DING DING DING
Axel and WARHORSE start to circle around one another, moving in for a tie up. Neither man gains an edge and the y break away clean. They try once more but again, neither man gains and edge. WARHORSE flex's his muscles, yelling out at Curtis in a metal as hell way. Axel kind of winces at this but takes him in a side headlock right away! He's twisting around his head, trying to make the hold as uncomfortable as possible but WARHORSE has suffered far worse in the pit! He grabs the Axeman by the waist and sends him to the mat with a saito suplex. Axel tries to roll through back to his feet but he's off balance and falls into the corner. WARHORSE comes running over and delivers a big clothesline in the corner. He runs back to the opposite side of the ring before coming over with a second clothesline. Axel's got no time to really respond as the train keeps rolling and eats a third clothesline before falling face first. He's rolled over and pinned...
1 . . .
2 . . .
Axel kicks out! WARHORSE brings him back to his feet, picking him up from behind. He looks to be going for the half and half but Axel ends up driving his elbow into his ribs to break free from his grasp. He returns the favor and sends WARHORSE reeling with a saito suplex of his own. WARHORSE comes back to his feet in the corner where Axel comes running at him with a clothesline except WARHORSE knows better than to just fall for what he did earlier. He gets his feet up and Curtis eats a face full of boot, staggering backwards. WARHORSE quickly pulls himself up to the second rope and comes off with a front dropkick to knock Axel down. He kips back up and starts to headbang, a few members in the crowd doing the same.
Tom Phillips: Despite how he comes across on the mic, this guy can really go.
Corey Graves: Please, this clown isn't cut out for UWF, trust me.
Mauro Ranallo: I don't know Corey, he's taking the son of Curt Henning to task right now.
Corey Graves: He's weird and is getting lucky. Axel will figure him out soon.
Axel is getting up with some help from the ropes but WARHORSE is stalking him. As soon as he's up, he eats a clothesline to the outside. WARHORSE comes out onto the apron and delivers a double axe hammer to the back of Axel as he's trying to stand. Fans in the front row throw up devil horns and WARHORSE does the same yelling out "HELL YEAH BROTHERS". This slight interruption however gives Axel time to strike, punching him right in the gut just as he was yelling. WARHORSE falls forward, having the wind taken out from him. The Axe Man grabs him from the side and delivers a back suplex onto the edge of the ring! WARHORSE falls forward onto the mat but Axel grabs him and tosses him head first into the barricade! The fans are booing him but Axel doesn't give a crap about any of them. He simply grabs WARHORSE and throws him back into the ring. Axel comes in and goes to the second rope, coming off with a pointed elbow drop to the heart! He makes the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
WARHORSE kicks out! Axel waste little time in bringing WARHORSE back up to his feet, pulling him up by grabbing a fistful of his hair. He tries to hook the leg to set him up for the Perfectplex but WARHORSE starts fighting him off with some shots to the midsection followed by a standing lariat that turns him inside out! WARHORSE falls to a knee and grabs at his back, still feeling the effects of that suplex on the apron. Axel meanwhile gets up in the corner and sees WARHORSE nursing his back. Realizing he's still got an opening, he runs at him and dropkicks him right in the face! With his opponent down, Curtis head up to the top rope and waits for the Heavy Metal God to get back to his feet. Once he does, Axel jumps off with a crossbody but WARHORSE catches him in mid air! He yells out and throws him backwards with a fallaway slam!
Tom Phillips: WARHORSE is about to show Curtis Axel just how strong Metal can be.
Mauro Ranallo: WARHORSE certainly has a way with words.
Corey Graves: How do you even understand that gibberish that comes out of his mouth?
Mauro Ranallo: Who cares what he's saying! It's provocative! Get's the people going!
The crowd is fully behind WARHORSE, pumping their devil horns into the sky while chanting "WAR-HORSE". The Heavy Metal God can feel their energy flowing through him and he's about to RULE AXEL'S ASS! Curtis is getting up near the corner and WARHORSE is just measuring him. Once he's up, WARHORSE runs at him. Axel goes wide eyed but WARHORSE ends up swinging behind him at the last second, german suplexing him right into the turnbuckles! Axel is crumpled in the corner and WARHORSE goes straight to the top rope. He's waiting to hit the ASS RULER but Axel knows better, rolling to the outside. WARHORSE shakes his head but then shrugs and instead comes off the top ropoes with a crossbody to take out Axel!
WARHORSE picks him up right away and tosses him into the ring before hopping back onto the apron and climbing up to the top rope. Next thing you know he's diving off with the Elbow Drop but Axel gets his knees up and WARHORSE's elbow collides right into them! He backs away holding his elbow while Axel gets back to his feet. He comes over with a clothesline to the back of the head to knock WARHORSE down. He then grabs him by the head and hits a quick snapmare, putting him in a seated position. He comes forward, jumping over WARHORSE with a neck snap reminiscent of his father. He makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
WARHORSE kicks out! Axel is starting to get a little frustrated, slapping his opponent in the back of the head a few times, telling him to stay down. WARHORSE shakes his head defiantly, he ain't about to take shit from nobody! All Axel is doing is pissing him off. He gives Curtis a big shove that backs him into the ropes. Axel just laughs and punches right square in the jaw. WARHORSE returns the favor with a stiff right of his own before asking Axel for his best shot. Axel delivers another right but WARHORSE isn't that fazed by it. Axel gives him an forearm but WARHORSE no sells it too, instead spitting in the Axe Man's face! Axel wipes away the spit and looks on agrily at WARHORSE. He loads up for a big swing but WARHORSE ducks it, grabbing him from behind and throwing him back with a half and half suplex! He makes the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Axel kicks out!
Corey Graves: Warhorse seriously didn't think that was going to put away the son of Mr. Perfect now did he?
Tom Phillips: First of all Corey it's not Warhorse it's WARHORSE!
Corey Graves: If I never have to hear anyone yelling again, I'd die a happy man.
WARHORSE brings Axel back to his feet and has his head in both of his hands. Next thing you know WARHORSE lets out a metal as hell scream before he starts headbanging, headbutting Axel in the head with each bang of his head! He lets go and is looking slightly dizzy but shakes it off. Axel meanwhile is staggering around the ring looking lost as all hell. WARHORSE kicks his feet back like a charging bull before running forward and spearing Axel in half! He goes for another cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Axel kicks out! WARHORSE picks Axel up and lifts him onto his shoulder. It looks like he might be going for a running powerslam but Axel slips behind him and shoves him forward into the ropes. WARHORSE comes off them and gets scooped up into a pendulum backbreaker! If WARHORSE's back wasn't already hurt, that should do the trick. He's got his back arched in pain but Perfection Personified has got more plans for him, bringing him up to a vertical base and going to hook the leg once more. WARHORSE fights for his life with some punches to the ribs before turning it into an inside cradle!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Axel kicks out just in time! He looks shocked that he almost lot right there, even double checking with the ref to make sure he didn't just lose. In the heat of the moment, he forgets about his opponent and when he turns to face him, he east a spinning heel kick that knocks him clear on his back! Wanting to put an end to this match, WARHORSE exits out onto the apron and starts to climb to the top rope. He waits as Axel slowly rises, getting ready to end things with the ASS RULER. Axel however may have him scouted as he falls into the ropes, causing WARHORSE to lose his balance and rack himself on the top turnbuckle! He cries out in pain but the Axe Man helps him worry about something else as he grabs his head and pulls him away, his feet hanging on the corners of the ropes for a DDT! WARHORSE's body goes limp and Axel drags him away from the ropes to make the pin.
1 . . .
2 . .
3 . . ..
But no! WARHORSE gets the shoulder up just in time!
Mauro Ranallo: How did WARHORSE kick out of that one!
Corey Graves: You're guess is as good as mine Mauro.
Tom Phillips: If I had to guess, it's because he RULES ASS
Graves lets out a big sigh but the match continues on. The crowd is once again chant for WARHORSE but Axel is tired of all this. WARHORSE is trying to crawl to the ropes to help himself get back to his feet but Axel comes over and stands over him, wrapping his arms around his waist before straight up deadlift german suplexing him so high that he folds over onto his knees! Axel comes back over and lifts him up slightly, hooking the leg and finally hitting the Perfect-Plex! He's arched for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Curtis Axel!
Mauro Ranallo: A valiant effort by WARHORSE but Curtis Axel proved to be a bit too much.
Tom Phillips: Don't worry, one loss won't hurt the Heavy Metal God!
Corey Graves: What are you warhorse's number one fan?
Tom Phillips: Honestly don't know what's happening to me.
Axel heads to the back with his head raised high. WARHORSE exits the ring but doesn't bother looking weak as hell by sullying. Instead he throws up the devil horns and headbangs with the crowd to the best of his abilities as the show head elsewhere.
The feed cuts away from the live action to show us a recorded segment as a graphic splashes across the screens (and the 'tron for that live crowd).
The crowd pops as the graphic cuts away to reveal a shot of the magnificent cosmos, and standing in the foreground is none other than the UWF World's Champion himself, Johnny Morrison! Morrison is basking in a deep blue glow, wearing his aviators and emanating an ethereal aura.
After a few moments of semi-awkward silence, Morrison addresses the viewer.
JOHNNY MORRISON
Hello. My name is Johnny Morrison, and here in the Palace of Wisdom, I am sipping cosmic chai with the spiritual essence of the Dalai Lama.
Morrison pauses for a moment to allow the spiritual significance of that statement soak in for even the most dim-witted troglodyte in the stand. Then, he resumes.
I was asked to provide an update on my condition, and I have chosen to do it here, in my place of solitude, meditation and... healing. As you all witnessed at Wrestlemania, I fought a war with the Great and Devious Ultramantis Black, and I emerged the victor. But I cannot downplay the effort and the savagery of my Wrestlemania opponent. Ultramantis: you fought a hard fight. You elevated yourself when presented with a challenge that had you outmatched, and for that, you've won a small kernel of the Cosmic Crusader's respect. But you lost. Again. And it's time for you to admit that you are beneath me. All of your schemes, all of your plots, everything... it all failed. With the support of my Valkyrie and the fans, I prevailed. Evil was vanquished. My head was bloodied, but unbowed.
Another pause as Johnny takes a deep breath and removes his aviators, tossing them over a shoulder.
Put simply: You suck, and I proved it. Moving on, let's talk about what's next for the Intergalactic Guru of Greatness. Once I've finished with my journey through the cosmos, I will be back before the millions of screaming fans, fighting once again like every good World's Champion should to elevate the championship he carries. The last I checked there was more than just one guy lining up to fight me and a few of them even have singles competition wins over me, so I'm expecting more than just one knock on my door. If I had it my way, I'd offer an open challenge to anyone in the locker room, but I know that there's got to be at least one guy whose performance at Wrestlemania elevated him to the contendership. To him, I say: Welcome to my UWF. But don't get comfortable. You won't be here long.
Morrison smirks. The confidence oozes from every syllable of his speech. At last, with the true World's Championship in his grasp, he has attained spiritual fulfillment.
I could say more, but I think the time for words is done. I still have some healing to do. And besides, as the Great and Wise Lama himself says: "Silence is sometimes the best answer."
With that, Johnny closes his eyes, and the glow around him fades. The cosmos begin to swirl, and soon, the shot cuts to pure darkness before the feed moves on.
We cut to the STAPLES center in lovely Los Angeles as the Lakers are seen all standing confused. In front of them, standing on a podium is a bald man in a fancy suit,nice slacks, and a navy blazer. This man is world renown manager and overall business man Stokely Hathaway.
Stokely Hathaway:”Alright alright, Lakers may I have your attention? Now boys as you know this NBA season is gonna be rough I mean, guys when was the last time you were really a threat? Huh? I’ll tell you when, it was back in the day when MJ, was just shooting hoops and ballin all over the competition he really made the Lakers shine don’t ya think?”
Suddenly Stokely is pelted with loud, angry responses from the Lakers, including “JORDAN PLAYED FOR THE BULLS DUMBASS!” Or “WHAT? The seasons cancelled!” As the tall athletes gets rowdy Stokely is quickly picking up the vibes and calming steps back from the podium.
Stokely Hathaway:”I see your point men, and I think now is a good time for me to point out, that Jennifer Lopez is over there. THAT’S RIGHT ITS J-LO LOOK!”
As the Lakers fall for this obvious trick Stokely books it out of the STAPLES Center and quickly gets in his limo.
Stokely Hathaway:”Book It, Charles! I’m leaving Basketball behind me, moving on to wrestling now. Some place called the U W F! HAHA! Now it’s gonna be known as the birthplace of Stokely Enterprises!”
The scene fades as the Limo drives off.
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE HIGHEST POWER.
??: U. W. F. Three letters that have been ringing in my ears for years and years. They think I’m crazy. People come to me and they ask ‘Why? Why the UWF?’. Trust me when I say that you will eventually learn why I am here and who I am but let’s take one step at a time shall we?
This hooded figure remains completely still. No movement. No changes.
??: One of the main reasons I have come is to expose the truth about the UWF roster because everybody that can hear me right this second.. You are all filled inside with a mass amount of prosperity. The UWF World Champion at the top of the food chain but he’s still yet to hit his peak. The UWF Tag Champions, The Undisputed Era are young and ruthless.. But that’s not it. That’s not the point. You see even the mightiest can fall. Anyone can fall off of the pedestal, no matter how far they have climbed up. It hurts me. It hurts to watch them fall. Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth.. Why? Because they don’t want to have their beliefs destroyed. The thing is.. If you want to see the truth.. You must be brave enough to look for it.. hence my reasoning for appearing on your television screens. I am here to spout said truth. I am here to make sure that WE are heard.
??: I look upon this field of cattle called the UWF.. and I can see two prize winning bulls; a certain pair within this company that have been overlooked. A duo that have been thrown to the side. A duo… that shall remain unnamed. They know exactly who they are and I promise them this; I am here to make sure you reach a level of evolution that only I would be happy with.. I am your CATALYST. I am your brand new backbone. I am the foundation of what will become your legacy within this company. I am the beholder of their futures. I am the paragon of virtue. I am ‘The Highest Power.’
Tony Chimel: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
”I Am Above” by In Flames is the theme as two-thirds of The New Kingdom come walking out, Darby Allin and the “Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi. Sinn and Darby look at one another before looking ahead and making their way to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Seattle, Washington and Toronto, Ontario, Canada respectively. Weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and fourteen pounds. Representing The New Kingdom, the team of Darby Allin and the, “Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi!
Each man enters the ring as Darby heads to the top and crosses his arms across his chest as Sinn removes his mask to reveal his painted face. Darby falls backward and appears he’s set to hit the mat but he rolls and lands on his feet as Sinn laughs and asks the crowd, ”Are you ready to get weird?” as the two men now prepare for the match ahead.
Mauro Ranallo: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen and as you can see, we are about to get underway with a match some have speculated is not going to be for young audiences to see.
Corey Graves: Ya got that right, Mauro. We heard from both the New Kingdom and Monster High earlier this week and the exchange was tense to say the least. I wouldn't expect anything less than bloodshed here.
Tom Phillips: I'm gonna be sick... I just know it.
Chimel: And the opponents...
Riddle comes out from behind the curtain, bopping along to the beat of 'Bullet with Butterfly Wings.' He throws hang loose symbols to the crowd and continues to hop around the stage. He poses and makes way for 'The Monster' Matanza Cueto who walks out the curtain behind Matt Riddle. Matanza comes out and sluggishly walks down the ramp as Riddle is nodding to the beat and fist bumping every fan he sees. Matanza ignores the fans.
Chimel: Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 479lbs. The team of Matanza Cueto and Matt Riddle; MONSTER HIGH!
Matt Riddle hops the ropes and kicks his flip flops off as Matanza just walks to the centre of the ring and folds his arms. Riddle spreads his arms out and poses in front of 'The Monster' Matanza Cueto Riddle removes his entrance gear and the pair then prepare for their match.
Graves: And here we stand in the presence of that horrifying force majeure, Matanza.
Phillips: The sight of the guy in and of itself makes me squirm.
Ranallo: It's clear Matanza has some demons. Let's hope he exorcised them before tonight's match.
DING DING DING!
The starting bell rings and it's Darby Allin in the New Kingdom corner while the Monster, Matanza Cueto, looks to be getting things started for Monster High. Allin runs straight at Cueto and leaps into the air for a shotgun dropkick, but the impact is like a fly hitting a wall as Allin falls to the canvas and rolls backward to his feet while the Monster doesn't even budge. Not to be deterred or intimidated, Allin rushes Cueto again, throwing a hard back elbow to the Monster's masked face. Once again, Cueto doesn't budge, and Allin is forced to step back to yield him his own space on the canvas. Allin spins around into a wrist-strike to the opposite side of the masked face before delivering a stiff kick to the shin and a flurry of open-palmed blows to the chest, but the cumulative blows don't even faze the Monster, who simply glares with dead eyes at the Daredevil. Darby shakes his head, then runs the ropes opposite the Monster, leaping into the air for a flying forearm. It's at this point that Cueto catches Allin by that forearm as Darby lands harmlessly on the apron in front of him, then pulls him into an absolutely DEVASTATING short-arm clothesline! Allin hits the canvas hard, but Cueto drags him right back to his feet and puts him on his heels with a stiff European uppercut, following that up with another one that sends Allin staggering into the ropes only to springboard into a crossbody! Cueto catches him, however, and holds him for several seconds before tossing him overhead with a fallaway slam! Allin lands hard on the canvas as the Monster sits up and lumbers back to his vertical base.
Phillips: Well, we've seen Darby Allin throw a series of blows at the Monster, Matanza Cueto, but so far nothing seems to be having an effect on the masked fiend.
Graves: But I'll tell you one thing, the Monster's offense sure is having an effect on Darby Allin! He's already struggling to get back to his feet.
That might be a slight exaggeration, but Allin does take a few more moments than he ordinarily would to find his feet — mostly because he's studying Matanza as he rises, trying to get a read on the Monster to find some sort of weakness to exploit. Matanza heads directly for him once again and Allin runs at him. The bigger man swings with a lariat, but Allin ducks under it and hits the ropes behind him, then leaps onto his shoulder and floats over into a stunner! Matanza shoots back to his vertical base but actually seems slightly dazed by the maneuver as Darby spins around on the canvas and sweeps the leg, momentarily putting the bigger man off balance with only one foot planted. Darby tries to seize the advantage as he quickly kips up, then leaps onto Matanza's shoulder and traps the Monster in a guillotine choke! The New Kingdom's subjects pop for this as Darby gets his legs around Matanza's torso to lock in the hold completely, but the Monster simply stands in the chokehold as he regains his full balance, then drives right into the New Kingdom's corner, slamming Darby spine-first into the turnbuckles! Sinn Bodhi claps Darby on the back to tag himself in, but Allin is left stunned in the corner as Matanza steps away, walking to the midway point of the ring before abruptly turning back around and sprinting right at Allin to hit a huge Stinger Splash!
Allin seems almost flattened by the maneuver as Bodhi enters the ring, trying to position behind Matanza for a surprise assault. Cueto, however, must have eyes in the back of his head because as soon as Bodhi is in position, he throws an elbow that catches Sinn flush on the side of his already-damaged face, sending him careening to the canvas. Matanza walks right up on the now-prone Warlord of Weird and grabs him around the throat with both hands. Sinn digs his nails in to the Monster's arm as Cueto deadlifts him up off the canvas and holds him about a foot off the apron, but though he digs his nails into flesh and draws blood, the act doesn't seem to register against his opponent. Matanza simply throws Bodhi across the ring and he crashes to the mat near the Monster High corner, rolling toward the ropes.
Ranallo: The sheer power of the Monster Matanza Cueto is a horrifying sight to behold. And let's keep in mind that these New Kingdom men are no slouches on the horrific, themselves.
Phillips: I would not want to meet Matanza in a dark alleyway.
Graves: It's not like it'd be any better to run into him grabbing groceries, either, Phillips. A lot of people have appropriated the term, but he's a literal monster.
Bodhi uses the turnbuckles to find his feet as Matanza walks slowly and deliberately in his direction with all of the grim purpose of Michael Myers stalking a co-ed. As Matanza reaches the midway point of the ring, Bodhi finds his feet and charges out of the corner with a defiant roar, looking for a Hellion Hammer. Unfortunately for Bodhi, Matanza has that scouted as well, and he simply reaches out with a palm and grabs the Sideshow Psycho with a grip on his wounded face, then digs his own fingernails into the still-healing flesh, tearing into it and popping at least one blister as blood starts flowing freely down his arm and Sinn screams in utter agony.
Phillips: Oh my God!
Graves (simultaneously): Holy shit!
Ranallo (also simultaneously): MAMMA MIA!
The fans don't know how to react; most are sitting in a stunned silence as Matanza releases his clawhold, then rears his masked face back and smashes it into Bodhi's with an ugly headbutt. Sinn is utterly rocked by the blow and falls back into the ropes, rebounding into a collar-grip by Matanza who simply Biel throws him fully across the ring to the New Kingdom's corner. Matanza then turns to face Bodhi as he crawls to Allin and makes the tag. Darby re-enters the ring and immediately goes to one knee to check on his partner, who is openly bleeding on the canvas. The official calls over to him to ask if the New Kingdom would like the match to continue as Cueto lurks in his corner with arms crossed, watching passively. Even his own partner, Matt Riddle, is looking at him with something resembling fear on his face, not fully sure if he supports the blatant acts of barbarity his partner has committed thus far. In part wanting to prevent any further acts of grotesque hyperviolence and in part out of an itch to compete, Riddle reaches over the rope to clap his partner on the shoulder, tagging himself into the match! Matanza looks over his shoulder and mutters something through the mask, "mhmhmhmh mhmhmhmhm mhm," but Riddle looks right at him and says, "Sorry, bro." Matt then turns toward his opponent and Allin looks straight at him, almost visibly relieved to be facing the King of Bros rather than the Monster.
Graves: You can feel a palpable sense of relief emanating from the Daredevil as Matanza Cueto exits the ring.
Ranallo: Perhaps so, Corey, but if I were to step between those ropes — not that I would, as I much prefer being on this side of them — I would rather be able to keep both eyes on that Monster than have to worry what he's doing while I'm busy with his partner.
Graves: Solid point.
As Bodhi rolls under the ropes and heads to a medical professional at ringside to have his face examined, Allin mans up and stands, exhaling deeply as he sizes up Riddle. The pair approach each other while walking in semi-circles, measuring one another up before Riddle moves in for a test of strength. Allin complies and the pair lock up in the traditional manner before Allin quickly breaks out, wrenching Riddle's arm and then running for a corner to hit a flashy lucha arm drag. The move actually gets a segment of the crowd behind the Daredevil as he quickly finds his feet, while Riddle gets to his own with a smile, perhaps pleased that his opponent getting one over on him means he'll have some game competition. Whatever the case may be, Allin charges in and Riddle unloads with the nastiest roundhouse kick possible, but Darby has it scouted and slides under, shoving Riddle from behind into the ropes and catching him on the rebound with a quick bridging belly-to-back!
1...
2...
...NO! Riddle kicks out!
Phillips: The Daredevil used Matt Riddle's momentum against him to execute a beautiful suplex there, but it wasn't enough to clinch a win for his team here.
Ranallo: You have to think that Allin is feeling the weight of the Kingdom on his shoulders here tonight, with both Vinny Marseglia and Sinn Bodhi clearly unfit to compete.
Graves: What are you talking about! Sinn's right there!
Allin's quicker to his feet than Riddle as he tries to capitalize and keep his team in the match with a fast snapmare before delivering a basement dropkick to the back of the now-seated Bro. Riddle flops onto his side and Darby runs the ropes, leaping up each rope to the top and dashing along them to the corner turnbuckles before diving off for the Coffin Drop! He hits! The fans actually pop at his athleticism as he covers!
1...
2...
...NO! Riddle kicks out!
Graves: The Chosen Bro gets a shoulder up there and Allin will have to go back to the well.
Ranallo: How much more can he realistically have? This is a war of attrition even without that Monster lurking on the apron.
As both men find their feet at roughly the same time, Allin charges and Riddle has to improvise a snap clothesline, but Darby capitalizes by ducking under, hooking the arm and leaping into a crucifix, countering with a crucifix driver! Riddle rolls toward the ropes — and dangerously close to Matanza — so Allin improvises by grabbing the official and throwing him at the Monster to prevent a tag before taking Riddle by the ankle and dragging him toward the middle of the ring, then tries to catch Riddle with the Last Supper! Unfortunately for Allin, the official isn't present to make the count, because after Darby threw him at Matanza the Monster unloaded on the referee with a stiff haymaker! Allin quickly breaks the cover attempt as Matanza enters the ring, running at him and throwing wild strikes in a bid to try and prevent the inevitable, but Matanza makes it between the ropes and shoves Allin away and as Darby runs at him again, Matanza scoops him up and hits Wrath of the Gods to deafening silence in the arena! As Matanza looms over Allin, the Sideshow Psycho realizes his ally is in trouble and breaks out of the ringside area where he had been receiving stitches, the needle and thread still hanging from the gaping wound the Monster has already given him. Bodhi slides into the ring still dripping blood as Cueto looks straight at him, and Sinn runs at Matanza like something straight from Hell as he goes once more for the Hellion Hammer. This time, Matanza is hit by the blow, but what would ordinarily level a normal man only pushes him back into the ropes as Bodhi stares in disbelief. What happens next, however, is truly horrific as Matanza reaches into his tights and retrieves a scalpel!
Phillips: What the Hell is that!
Graves: Jesus Christ! Looks like the Monster found something under the hospital bed!
Ranallo: When these two teams exchanged words earlier this week, there was mention of a scalpel but I didn't take it literally!
Matanza swings wildly with the scalpel, slashing Bodhi straight across the face and sending blood spraying halfway across the ring as the fans shriek! Sinn falls to one knee with his back to Matanza as the Monster lumbers up behind him and grabs him by the skull, propping up his head before placing the scalpel to his neck. The audience collectively covers its eyes as it looks like Matanza's about to do a murder, but then he's grabbed by Riddle and dragged back from Bodhi who falls to all fours, gushing blood. Security rushes from the back as the official recovers enough to call for the ring bell.
DING DING DING!
Here are your winners, by disqualification:
The New Kingdom!
Ranallo: They may go down with the win in the record book, but the New Kingdom look nothing like winners right now with one man cut wide open and the other seemingly out cold after that brutal Wrath of the Gods.
Phillips: Why does this company keep hiring murderous psychopaths!
Graves: Because they put asses in seats, Phillips! God, you're an amateur!
With security and Riddle dragging the Monster backstage, a visibly dazed Allin is left with medical officials to tend to his now even more wounded partner, the horror of what has just unfolded sitting uneasily with the crowd. The feed moves along.
Ultramantis Black stands at the desk of Dr.Cube his hands tented in a calm position.
Ultramantis Black: As you have no doubt seen by now I was unsuccessful in defeating a cosmic walker known as, Johnny Morrison. If you are paranoid there are no repeats, that belt is the genuine article as I am a man of my word. But Morrison I ask that you think of this as I am sure your body is just as broken as my own at the moment. You may have had allies, faced upon the common enemy of defeating me, but now that you have done as such keep an eye over your shoulder. Men you once trusted will plant the knife deep into your back to achieve what you have done now. It is the allure of the gold. The siren's song that twists the minds of once rational men.
He lowers his head but is interrupted by a yell by Dr.Cube.
Dr.Cube: You're just going to let him off like that mantis! What did I even hire you for? You owning the belt was purposeful to the entire thing!
Ultramantis Black: He will learn his mistake and we will pick his bones.
Dr.Cube: We have to delay our plans even longer because of some pretty boy! That is not how this works!
Dr. Cube takes off his Box Head to reveal Sanshiro Takagi
Sanshiro Takagi: When we first started here that coward Suzuki was here, and now he ran away now I can't fight Shibata because he's gone crazy and is stealing all of my rookies! Now the only way I will be able to fight him is if I buy out the company and proving I am the better president of wrestling by adding UWF to the Library of content that I own. The lure of a prizefight will be too good and I will finally be able to get my shot at him once again! NOT ONLY THAT but there is a man who is strutting around the UWF rosters these days with the S. Takagi name. NO I'm S. Tagaki! This is a blatant copyright infringement and they need to be taught a lesson in respect for the men who laid down the path! We need to make the UWF face the fire!
The scene fades to a somewhat dimly lit room with Renee Young sitting in a chair. She is doing herself some last minute touch ups as she waits for the Velveteen Dream to arrive, he’s about five minutes late before the door opens.
Lio Rush: Aha! Renee Young, you are looking absolutely stunning tonight. How are ya doing today, fine lady?
Renee Young: Uhm, you’re not Dream.
Lio Rush: No… No I am not--
Renee Young: Where’s the Velveteen Dream at? We were scheduled to have an interview five minutes ago. And when we sent up this interview, he specifically said he’d make it himself.
Lio Rush: Relax, Renee. Dream is running a little late, he’ll be here. But in the meantime, how about you interview the Man of the Hour?
Renee Young: EC3 specifically said--
Rush mimicks Renee
Lio Rush: “EC3 said” Well EC3 isn’t here now, is he? Now go ahead. Interview Lio Rush.
Renee sighs as she rolls her eyes.
Renee Young: Alright, Lio, fine. Where have you been in the past few weeks.
Lio Rush: Well, after facing Adam Cole, I needed a bit of time to rejuvenate myself. Also, Dream told me to lay back for a little and study his match at Mania. I gotta say, though the Dream put on a good fight at Mania, I think I should be following in--
??: Following in whose footsteps?
The camera pans out to reveal Dream. Lio has regret on his face disguised as a smile.
Lio Rush: Heh heh, I was saying I should be following interviews more closely, hence why I’m here at yours! As your prodigy, I need to study the way you speak, your cadence, mannerisms, etc, Dream baby.
Velveteen Dream: Uh huh, well Lio… This is a private interview for the Dream. How about you go outside and just wait for the Dream.
Lio Rush: Come on, Dream, you know I’m too good to be out and about not gaining the knowledge you offer.
Dream just gives Lio a death stare. Lio takes the hint as sighs and mutters “Fine” under his breath. He exits the room as Dream takes a seat and faces Renee.
Renee Young: Ahem, Dream… Mania didn’t go the way you planned it. Cole has, what many say, ended the Experience.
Dream scoffs.
Velveteen Dream: Renee… Renee, Renee, Renee… The Experience is not something one can end. At Mania, Cole won one of the many battles we will have in our careers, the thing is, he may have won the battle, but the Dream is focusing on the war. The Dream already proven he can beat Cole. Twice. And as Cole gets off from getting the Mania spotlight, the Dream will be moving on for the time being. Cole and the Velveteen Dream are going their separate ways for now and honestly good riddance, because the Dream has his eyes on gold now.
Renee Young: You want to get gold around your waist again? Do you have your eyes on a particular title?
Velveteen Dream: You know, they know, the world knows what the Dream wants. The Dream already beat the current champ once and the Dream is looking to do it again. At Backlash, the Dream will finally be on top once more. Morrison, has something the Dream deserves. He has that UWF title around that undeserving waist. And now that Ultramantis is out the picture and Dream fed Cole’s ego to get him out of my hair, the Dream is coming for that title!
Renee Young: Wait…? You’re saying you let Cole win at Mania?
Dream smirks.
Velveteen Dream: Just know this, Renee: Cole is a rat. And the Dream’s spotlight is what Cole likes to refer as “Velveeta Cheese”. If the Dream beat Cole at Mania, then Adam would still be pitter pattering behind the Dream’s back trying to get a nibble and ultimately deterring the Dream from his real goals. The Dream is done with these fools trying to make a mockery of him. I don’t care if it’s Morrison, Cole, Ultramantis Black, Neville, so on and so forth, the Dream will face anyone who wants to take a shot at the Velveteen Dream, cause in the long run, you’re padding the Dream’s numbers forcing EC3 to take notice. At Backlash, the Dream is officially challenging John MorrisECHH
We all realize what name Dream was about to mutter but instead of finishing it, only a sick gurgle comes out of his mouth as he's being lifted of his chair, the camera angle makes it so we can see nothing but Dream's torso as he's fighting to breathe and Renee's shell shocked face, after what feels like forever of struggling Dream goes limp and the attacker throws his body to the side then takes his seat where the camera can finally see his face
Renee: …
Suzuki just smirks
Suzuki: You are UWF’s most trusted and prolific interviewer aren’t you? Then come on conduct an interview!
Renee takes a moment to digest what just unfolded in front of her and when she finally does and is able to think straight she squeezes out a response
Renee: … What are you doing here?
Suzuki smirks, it is clear from her tone and body language that Renee doesn’t like what’s happening and would much rather not be here, especially considering what happened to her last time she had a 1 on 1 with the Japanese legend
Suzuki: I am attacking the Velveteen Dream, is that not clear or is UWF employing an interviewer with the brain of a rat?
Renee: Why Dream?
Suzuki: I am the wind, I come and go as I see fit and I saw fit to attack Velveteen Dream here and now, do you really need another reason? No, only the untalented, boring and utter garbage wrestlers that infest our business need a “reason” to attack someone, I wanted to choke the life out of Velveteen Dream so I did, we’ll see what’s next.
Unprompted Suzuki gets up and walks out of the frame hands still in his pocket, he makes sure to stomp Dream on his way out as the camera returns to Renne who is very clearly relieved and now goes to check on Dream as it slowly fades to black.
Shibata is seen pacing back and forth in a dark backstage area with his full gear on, bearing many fresh new scars moments before his match.
He continues to pace with an almost robotic look on his face before turning to address the camera, a gesture that makes him wince...
Shibata: ... a lot of people have asked me if I will ever be the same after what happened. And if I'm being honest I can not give you a concrete answer. I know I will try to revert back to the ways of old, the way things were supposed to be, but I am not sure how long I can make that last. I attempted to head up to the dojo yesterday but I could not bring myself to do that yet. Those boys are in better hands with Ikemen and the other guest trainers. Maybe my malicious feelings will wear off, maybe they won't. All I can tell you is that I feel like a despicable monster right now. Take that as you will. It's the truth, but it won't stop me from eventually heading back up to the dojo, and it won't stop me from completing my vision...
Shibata ponders over that last statement with an expression of uncertainty before shaking it off and continuing
Shibata: I'm still going to fight for what I have always believed in, however I may feel or whatever man I may appear to be. Call it hypocritical or stubborn, but that determined desire to complete what I have always set out to do has not been diminished by this corruption inside of me... I think.
Another expression of uncertainty is placed upon the grim expression of Shibata before he continues
Shibata: I just want to get that topic out of the way. It is something that stresses me out, perhaps if I stop relentlessly thinking about it, it will all go away. Let's talk about something else, while I was in what you could call a slump as a result of Vin-
Shibata becomes frustrated, realizing he's already reverted back to the topic that arises this malice within him.
Shibata: Nevermind the source of the downtrend, the point is I suffered defeats to a few talents here within the UWF. Being a champion, I must address these defeats. Tessa Blanchard. It seems she has vanished from the UWF after losing to Jimmy Havoc...
The name of Havoc triggers something within Shibata, remembering his few encounters with him on revolution and how he views the man as a disease to the sport he loves. Another man that arises violent, malicious tendencies within Shibata along with Vinny Marseglia whom he also recalls when speaking of Tessa. Marseglia's attack after the match ended is what started all of this. The match with Tessa will forever be linked to the beginning of a long psychological torture for Shibata. It has a clear strain on him as he speaks. Nonetheless, he continues...
Shibata: However, she pinned me fairly in the ring, and that is something I must forever respect. If she is ever to come back, she deserves a title shot immediately. Secondly, there is Ultramantis Black. A self-admitted devious individual. It pains me to say that he has defeated me, but it is an unfortunate truth. I've defeated him as well, and a rubber match is needed to conclude that chapter. He does not possess his championship anymore, but at this point I would argue the Intercontinental Championship is just as important as the World Championship. The match must happen, and it must be for the championship.
As Shibata ends his talk of Ultramantis, it becomes clear that the thought of the devious one also arises that malice within Shibata. The wrestler used to be able to contain his rage for men with purely evil intentions such as Ultramantis, but as Shibata's head begins to shake with rage from thoughts of Havoc, Marseglia, and Ultramantis Black, and even Noam Dar, the man who attacked him after his loss to Ultramantis Black, it becomes evident he doesn't have that restraint anymore. But he tries his best to ignore it, and continue...
Shibata: Now, there are two men who have not had any sort of relation with me, but men who caught my eye with their performances at Wrestlemania. Adam Cole and Brock Lesnar. Both had admittedly great showings in their wrestlemania victories. They are worthy of having a shot at this championship, as disrespectful or unpassionate as they may be.
Those last two adjectives seem to once again strike an angry core in Shibata. Shibata has never been able to understand men that wrestle despite seemingly having very little passion for the sport, and it's been known forever that Shibata intends to rid wrestling of disrespect. Perhaps their performances aren't even the real reason for the mention, maybe he's just looking for men he can unleash his rage on that he considers detriments so he can keep a slight sense of good morality. Mentioning two men with such values seems to put an ever bigger strain on Shibata though as he moves on to the last wrestler he needs to address. He takes a deep breath before mentioning the name...
Shibata: And lastly... Spike Dudley. The underdog has done very good for himself lately. I am not sure how appropriate it is to even call him an underdog anymore. He beat Rhodes and he beat... marseglia...
A long pause ensues after the mention of that name, Shibata is nearing his breaking point.
Shibata: Not the point, not the point. The point is Spike deserved a shot at this championship long ago much less now. We wouldn't even be at this point if...
Shibata's rage consumes him and he can no longer hold back his anger...
Shibata: IF MARSEGLIA DIDN'T RUIN EVERYTHING!
Shibata's face turns a shade of red before he punts a hole into the wall behind him...
Shibata: EVERYTHING! EVERY SINGLE THING I WORKED FOR! NONE OF IT WAS WORTH IT! THE MATCH! THE PAYBACK! NONE OF IT!
Shibata knocks over a production set next to him...
Shibata: I BEAT YOU! I BEAT YOU DAMNIT! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GONE!
Shibata rams his head into the wall in front of him, leaving a giant dent in the wall and a bruise on his head...
Shibata: WHY ME?! WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME VINCENT?
Shibata just lets go of all consciousness, picking up anything he can get his hands on and hurling it down the hallway
Shibata: FORGET IT. FORGET IT! NOBODY STOPPED ME FROM DIVING INTO THIS AND NOBODY WANTS TO HELP ME GET OUT OF IT! NOBODY DESERVES MERCY! REY, REY! I HAVE NOT FORGOT WHAT YOU SAID! I WATCHED YOUR VIDEO! YOU MAKE ME FEEL THE EXACT WAY MARSEGLIA DOES! YOU ARE NO WORSE THAN HIM! AND NEITHER IS ANYBODY ELSE! YOU ARE DEAD REY!
Shibata storms out of frame, heading to gorilla position as he readies himself to destroy a man.
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
Fans in the arena are excited as UWF's resident superhero Rey Mysterio comes out. Mysterio comes out wearing his traditional superhero cape but he ditches it and he throws it to the sde and he makes his way down to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From San Diego, California. UWF's resident superhero Reyyyyy Mysssteeerrriiioooo!
Mysterio rolls in the ring and he rises to the top rope and raises his hands as flashbulbs hit as he poses on the top rope. Mysterio jumps down and he takes off his shirt ready to stop whatever villain comes his way.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent...
Sounds of Shibata fill the atmosphere as do cheers for the wrestler. As the cheers clear however, we hear the boos that always remain when Shibata appears, as not everyone agrees with his idea of wrestling. The Wrestler still isn't present however, as he will only enter when his name is announced.
Tony Chimel: From Kuwama, Japan. Weighing in at 210 pounds, The UWF Intercontinental Champion... THE WRESTLEEEEER, SHIBATAAAAAAAAAA KATSUUUUUUYORIIIIIIIII!!!!
Shibata calmly walks out with his head down and championship in hand. He does not look up at anybody or anything, even while fans touch his shoulder and scream his name, he is only focusing on what lay ahead of him. He quickly walks before the ring.
Shibata pauses before the ring, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He slides his championship in the the ring, puts his hands on the apron and bows his head. Head still down. He climbs onto the apron and enters the ring. He stretches his legs and sits down with his legs crossed before the championship.
Slowly, Shibata finally lifts his head, his eyes filled with fire directed right to his opponent.
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, Shibata goes for a right but as he does, Rey blocks it by catching it with his right hand then throws a left to the abdomen but the Intercontinental Champion gets his left hand in the way to catch the punch and block it. Both men throw their opponent’s respective arm aside as Rey goes for a kick to the abdomen but Shibata catches his foot with both hands to block, Rey stepping up and delivering a kick to the head using his other foot. Once both feet are back on the mat, Rey goes for a lock-up but Shibata blocks by smacking each arm away simultaneously and then goes for a toe kick but Rey catches it and tosses the foot aside but Shibata pivots around and kicks him in the side with that foot once he’s made a revolution.
Rey holds his side as Shibata goes for a forearm strike to the face but Rey gets his arms up and blocks with his own forearms. As he lowers them soon after Shibata’s forearm makes contact, he throws a straight punch to the left pectoral muscle. Shibata doesn’t move quickly enough to prevent it entirely from connecting but does manage to reduce the effectiveness and impact as he grabs Rey around the wrist and squeezes, guiding the fist away from his pectoral muscle. Rey grabs Shibata’s wrist using his other hand and squeezes but Shibata grabs that wrist with his own other hand and squeezes, connecting with a Headbutt as Rey falls to his knees and loses his grip as Shibata releases his.
Shibata goes for a knee to the face but Rey gets his hands up and blocks, pushing the knee away as Shibata fires off with the other one but Rey avoids it as he jumps to the side and ends up on his feet. Rey immediately does a Baseball Slide towards Shibata’s legs as Shibata goes for another knee but Rey connects and causes the legs to buckle. As Shibata falls forward toward the mat, he puts his arms out and catches himself on the mat with his hands. Rey, who has finished sliding and is standing on the other side of Shibata as he catches himself, uses the ropes as he goes for a Basement Dropkick but Shibata throws himself up to his feet and lands with his back to the ropes nearest the stage.
As Rey hits nothing but mat, Shibata leaps from where he’s at and goes for a Diving Headbutt but Rey rolls backward to avoid it and now has his feet to the mat as he stands up. Shibata gets up, shaking off the daze of hitting the mat with his head, as Rey goes for a kick to the knee but Shibata manages to kick his foot away using the leg that wasn’t being aimed at and then lunges at Rey with his hands out but the high flyer sidesteps to avoid and throws an elbow into the back of his opponent’s head as he turns so that he’s facing him and follows up with a Bulldog.
Tom Phillips: Well after lots of scouting each other, it seems Rey’s struck oil.
Mauro Ranallo: Or gold.
Corey Graves: You’re both striking a nerve so why don’t you shut up?
Shibata doesn’t stay down long as he climbs to a vertical base and as Rey charges him, he gets his leg up and kicks him in the chest as Rey flies back and hits the nearest turnbuckle back first. Shibata charges after and goes for a Running Headbutt but Rey dives out of the way and Shibata ends up head butting the turnbuckle pad. Up to his feet, Rey runs and leaps up, doing a Reverse Monkey Flip since Shibata’s back is to him but the champ lands on his feet. Rey is to a vertical base as he charges Shibata but Shibata goes for a straight left hook but Rey does a Baseball Slide between his legs, possible because of the stance taken, and stands up as he goes for a Pele’ Kick.
When he goes for the kick, Shibata manages to pivot around and grab the ankles as he reverses into an Alabama Slam but Rey gets his legs around Shibata’s neck so that as he’s thrown, the situation is reversed into a Hurracanrana but as Shibata’s thrown, he lands on his feet and charges as Rey is getting to his feet but he sidesteps Shibata and trips him up but Shibata puts his arms out and catches himself with his hands, pushing off the mat to end up back to his feet as Rey connects with a Dropkick to send him into the ropes. Shibata stops himself and as Rey comes charging, does an Arm Drag into the ropes. Rey goes over the top rope and lands at the end of the throw on the apron, then leaps onto the top rope and springs off, going for a Cross Body but Shibata catches him horizontally in his arms and dumps him over the top rope to the outside of the ring.
Mysterio gets up quickly and slides back into the ring as Shibata starts raining down on him with stiff blows.
Tom Phillips: And again the scouting screeches to a halt, this time with Shibata in the driver’s seat.
Mauro Ranallo: If I was Shibata, I’d want to end this one quickly. He can’t be one hundred percent.
Corey Graves: If he’s not smart enough to watch out for his own health, he’ll deserve everything that happens to him!
Rey sees an opening in Shibata delivering the blows and rises up, spreading his arms up and outward to break up the punches and then puts his arms around Shibata’s head, his hands meeting at the back of it as Mysterio falls to his knees, connecting with a Jawbreaker as Shibata is sent back into the ropes. Mysterio charges Shibata, who catches himself on the ropes, and the Intercontinental Champion thrusts both his arms forward and gives Rey a violent shove that causes him to take a few steps back.
Rey recovers those steps by walking forward as he shoves Shibata back, causing him to take a few steps back. Shibata looks down at where Rey’s hands previously were and then up at Rey as he charges the resident superhero in a rage and connects with a hard right that knocks Mysterio down. Rey is up as Shibata peppers him with another punch and knocks him back down. Mysterio is up yet again and as Shibata pulls back for another punch, Rey kicks him in the side of the leg causing it to buckle as Shibata falls to one knee.
Rey drops down with a Double Axe Handle to the raised knee, causing Shibata to fall to a seated position as Rey starts teeing off on the top of his head with punches.
Tom Phillips: And Mysterio goes after arguably the most banged up part of his opponent by attacking the legs.
Mauro Ranallo: A hero’s got to do what he must to vanquish an evildoer, at least a man he views as one.
Corey Graves: Can we get off of the comic book pages and back to reality please?
Rey actually allows Shibata to get up but that proves to be a mistake as Shibata hits him with a Headbutt that dizzies him and then whips Rey violently into the corner as Rey hits hard. Shibata follows after and extends his leg, putting his foot to his opponent’s throat as the referee begins to count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FI...
Before the referee can count him out, Shibata moves his foot and returns it to the mat. Rey comes walking out of the corner holding his neck and coughing as Shibata pushes him back into the corner and puts his foot back where it was, prompting the referee to begin counting again.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FI...
Once more, Shibata moves his foot and puts it back on the mat before the five count. This time, Rey stays in the corner clutching his neck and coughing as Shibata goes for a Headbutt but Rey sidesteps and Shibata connects with the turnbuckle pad. Rey lights into Shibata with a Knife Edge Chop as this seems to anger, “The Wrestler” more than hurt him. Mysterio goes for another chop despite this but Shibata grabs his wrist and pulls him in, moving so that Rey hits the turnbuckle chest first. He ends up hitting it so hard that he bounces back into the waiting arms of Shibata for a German suplex. Shibata just gets back to his feet and watches Rey trying to fight back up.
Tom Phillips: Shibata hasn't gone for one single pin attempt this entire match.
Mauro Ranallo: Did you hear him earlier tonight? He may have defeated Vinny Marseglia at Wrestlemania but if you ask me, Vinny Marseglia took his heart and soul away.
Shibata comes over and washes his boot over the face of Mysterio, showing some disrespect to his opponent. He even bends down and slaps him in the back of the head. Rey seems to get fed up with this and as he;s rising back up to his feet, he gives the Intercontinental Champion a swift kick to the side of the knee, buckling him down to one knee. Rey runs backwards to the ropes, coming back with a dropkick to take Shibata off his feet! He runs to the ropes once more, jumping on them to hit a springboard leg drop. He goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
Shibata kicks out! He tries to get to his feet right away but he's dropkicked from behind onto the middle rope! Mystero rushes over for the 619 but Shibata ducks under and catches Rey on his shoulders. It's not long before Rey is thrust into the air and beheaded with the Go 2 Sleep! The former International Champion looks out of it but Shibata isn't done there. He picks up Mysterio and wraps himself around him, putting him in the dreaded Octopus stretch. Rey comes to life, trying to fight it off but it's already locked in. His only option now is to try to get to the ropes but Shibata is the bigger man so it'll be a struggle.
Corey Graves: This is the end for the good for nothing Rey Mysterio. Too bad those no good Cartel mates aren't here to help him out this time!
Mauro Ranallo: Listen to this crowd though Corey, they want to see UWF resident Superhero keep fighting!
Mysterio seems to draw energy from the crowd, using it to walk one step at a time over to the ropes. It takes a while and he might be fading but he barely reaches it just in time, leaning against the ropes and the ref tells Shibata to break the hold. The only problem is, Shibata has a crazed look in his eye. It's like he doesn't even realize that the ref is even there. All he sees is a man who won't give up and he keeps the hold locked in.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
DING DING DING
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner by Disqualification, Rey Mysterio!
The ref has called for the bell but Shibata is still pulling on Rey who has fallen down by the ropes, clearly passed out. Officials are pulling on Shibata, trying to break him free when he suddenly appears to snap back to life and finally lets go. He backs away and looks down at the carnage he just caused. There seems to be some remorse in his body language but ultimately he decided to just leave the ring. He heads up the ramp, not bothering to look at anyone while Mysterio is checked on as the hpw comes to a close.
END OF SHOW
Confirmed for Backlash
#1 Contender's Match to the World Tag Team Championships
Dynamic Duo vs Dudley Boyz
Credits
Lesnar vs Cole - Bodor
Monster High vs New Kingdom - Crann
Yano &* Ishii vs Guevara/Leyton - Fauche
Shibata vs Mysterio - Dresden
Havoc vs Shingo, Axel vs WARHORSE - Danny
