Post by Danny on Feb 3, 2022 19:10:11 GMT -6
As the opening video finishes, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo along with my broadcast partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Corey Graves: We have a stacked card this week and it's highlighted by a former UWF Champion who returned last week to take on the current UWF Champion.
Mauro Ranallo: Surprised to see you give Shark Boy so much credit.
Corey Graves:It kills me inside but it'll further prove why CM Punk is one of the best of all time.
Tom Phillips Speaking of one of the best of all time, Eddie Kingston goes one on one with Danhausen!
Corey Graves: How dare you. I guess every promotion needs a sideshow attraction. But if you want to talk about attractions, the dangerous duo of Wardlow and Roman Reigns are forced to team tonight against another forced pair of rivals, Randy Orton and Bryan Danielson.
Mauro Ranallo: Plus Chad Gable will take on Dolph Ziggler and Hornswoggle goes 1 on 1 with Batista!
Corey Graves:Talk about a bloodbath we're going to see. I can't wait!
Tom PhillipsBut we have some words from your favorite Corey, let's hear from Eddie Kingston.
BEING NICE IS NOT ENOUGH. BEING EVIL IS NOT ENOUGH. BEING THE MAD KING - THAT IS ENOUGH.
The UWF cameras cut backstage. Where we find none other than Eddie Kingston. Preparing himself for his match tonight against none other than Danhausen. A match that in the words of Eddie Kingston, will be a challenge. Danhausen. Very nice. Very evil. Not someone to take lightly. Not before his showdown with CM Punk.
“DANHAUSEN. YOU CANNOT BE NICE, NOT AGAINST ME. YOU HAVE TO BE EVIL. AS EVIL AS YOU CAN BE, BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING AGAINST THE TOUGHEST BASTARD IN THIS COMPANY. I've become something greater than you could have ever hope to be. And now, after tonight? I'LL BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING DEFINITIVELY, UNDENIABLY BETTER THAN YOU ARE, WERE, AND EVER WILL be. This is something I think you know by now, in the very back of your skull - but at the same time, hasn't quite set in yet. I don't think it's honestly, truly set in yet, so allow me to enlighten you. YOU THINK YOU HAVE A CHANCE TONIGHT? You think management views you as a star? Let me tell you something, a little truth. YOU ARE HERE TO MAKE ME LOOK GOOD. Seth Rollins - I cleaned the floor with that loser and I made it look easy. I am on a one-way course right to the top. CM PUNK. That right there. That right there is what it is all about. What I am pushing towards. WHAT HAS ME GOING AND DANHAUSEN, YOUR NOTHING MORE THAT JUST A WARM UP. Someone to sharpen my skills against before I go against the real superstars of UWF and not the jokes. You've become a joke now - you know this. YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS, MOVING WITH THE FLOW WITH NO PURPOSE, NO REASON OTHER THAN THE VAIN, PATHETIC ATTEMPTS AT GETTING YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS AND TRYING TO STAY OVER - YOU SELL TOO MANY SHIRTS TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN SHAKE YOUR ASS. Now - you have come so close on so many occasions to being more than you are, yet ultimately? You've fallen short of accomplishing that goal. YOU ALWAYS - FALL SHORT, DANHAUSEN, AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN TONIGHT? Nothing is going to be any different. You're going to go out there, as you always do, and you're going to try. YOU'RE GOING TO TRY, AS HARD AS YOU CAN, TO BEAT ME; TO EARN YOURSELF A NAME - BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. Because no matter how hard you try, you can't defeat me, Danhausen. No one can.”
He would pause for a moment to collect his thoughts. Danhausen at one point was a someone to take seriously. He was a big time threat and yet now look at him. He had lowered himself, to become a joke. To be a comedy act. There was nothing funny about this. For him, this was serious.
“THIS LAST MONTH. HAS BEEN THE MONTH OF THE MAD KING. It was the dawning of a new age in UWF, one that I don't think you, or anyone else is aware of just yet - but believe me, it's coming. FASTER, QUICKER, SOONER THAN ANYONE - EVEN I, MYSELF - COULD HAVE EVER EXPECTED... BUT IT IS COMING. It is seeping in through the cracks, it is rising on the horizon, and soon enough? It will be here, and you, Danhausen - will not. YOU WILL NOT BE HERE TO WITNESS THE DAY THAT THIS NEW AGE COMES TO FRUITION, DANHAUSEN, BECAUSE IN ORDER FOR IT TO HAPPEN? IN ORDER FOR ME TO RISE, AND THIS NEW AGE TO TRULY SET IN? I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PUT YOU DOWN. But don't get things twisted. In a way? This is a blessing. Because tonight, I save you from your routine, and your sorry existence in this business. TONIGHT, I PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY. TONIGHT, DANHAUSEN, I PUT YOUR CAREER TO REST AND IN DOING SO? I TAKE ONE MORE STEP CLOSER TO THE TOP! This is the age of the mad king - Danhausen - pat yourself on the back for being a part of it.”
He looks down into the camera one final time. He has said what was needed, he was ready Danhausen - ready for whatever the man could throw at him and more importantly he was ready to defeat him.
Following a commercial for some sort of insurance company that is offering lifetime policies that benefit pretty much nobody, the live camera feed opens up in the backstage area, where the highly popular Danhausen is stood, getting ready to express his often outlandish thoughts.
Danhausen
Okay, okay, so last week did not quite go according to planhausens. Danhausen apologizes to everybody that paid monies to see him win. He hopes that he will make it up to you all with victory this evening over King Edward. Or is it rather the King’s Son named Edward? Danhausen doesn’t really care, all he wants to do is win so that he regains the momentum he needs ahead of the Monarch Earthquake match this month, and who better to do that against than the man who should be, and could still be, Ultimate Wrestling Champion. Whilst a part of Danhausen does desire this prize as well, he yearns more for the castle that Ethan Ultimate denied him when he signed his contract. One will eventually lead to the other however, so it will be a case of all’s well that ends well for Danhausen.
Danhausen rubs his hands together at the very ambitious and albeit highly unlikely prospect of him ruling over the entire UWF from this castle, however his focus then moves on to another matter.
Danhausen
Following tonight’s contest in which Danhausen should prevail victorious, he then invites all the fanhausens to submit questions to him that he will answer live on next week’s Ultimate Wrestling show. It seems that is the only trustworthy way of getting ‘the business done’ as they say, after the cataclysmic events of the failed press conferencehausen last week. That was without question the sole reason that led to Danhausen’s shortcomings against Seth Rollerblades, because his focus was thrown right out the window beforehand by the failure of the so called ‘respected’ journalists to keep their wordhausens and show up to interview Danhausen. This time however, Danhausen takes matters into his own hands. So make sure to get your questions in, or forever be cursed! Love that Danhausen! See you later!
As Danhausen gives a quick wave, the camera feed fades out and picks up elsewhere.
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
Suddenly the lights start to darken and flicker...
Cheers begin to ring all around the arena as the music plays and Danhausen takes to the stage. After a couple of slow spins around the stage area, Danhausen then raises his arms and gives out a determined yell as the crowd pops in appreciation.
Chimel: Introducing first... making his way to the ring, from Someplace Far Away, weighing at least 300lbs, Danhausen!!
Danhausen heads down the ramp, waving politely at some of the fanhausens in attendance before he hops up onto the apron and signals the nearby cameraman to get a close up shot of him. Danhausen then points directly into the camera lens and yells “Love That Danhausen!” before climbing through the middle rope and posing in the center of the ring with his arms held high once again.
The Number One Contender for the UWF Championship's music hits and Eddie Kingston storms down the ramp.
Chimel: And his opponent... from NoEntranceInYourProfileYesStillSomehowAfterAllTheseMonths New York... Eddie Kingston!
The Mad King slides into the ring, ready for a fight. When Chimel heads out, the Referee calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING
When the bell sounds off, Danhausen pulls back one arm and extends the other, shooting a petrifying sneer in his opponent's direction like he's placing some kinda curse on him. Given Kingston's history in Chiakara, this oddball gobbldygook isn't anything he hasn't seen the likes of before. He just shakes his like "nah, that ain't it, chief" and marches across the ring to get to work.
Danhausen avoids a collar-and-elbow by sommersaulting right past Kingston. Eddie turns around to see a surprising dropkick coming his way. The Mad King simply swats the boots of the air to avoid taking two to the chest. The newcomer falls to the mat but hastily scampers back to his feet before retreating back a few steps. Eddie raises and eyebrow, wondering what else he's got.
Ranallo: Obviously two very different kinds of competitors in the exhibition bout this evening. As different as their styles are, they share some common ground in both having a lot to prove heading into the Royal Rumble.
Phillips: A win for Danhausen would be huge for his burgeoning UWF career, while Kingston is obviously looking to maintain that tremendous amount of momentum he's built up en route to his rematch with Punk.
Graves: Speak of the devil and he shall appear...
Some of crowd's focus abandons the contest in the ring as heads swivel to see someone carving their way through the aisles towards the ringside area. It's the UWF Champion, CM Punk. He hopes the barricade. This catches Kingston's attention. The Mad King is expecting an all-out assault from the man he'll face for the gold in just a few weeks' time. Rather than interfering in the match, however, the Second City Saint simply sits down next to the commentary team and dons a spare head set.
Punk: Sorry I'm late, fellas. I was supposed to have a security escort to the ring but as I'm sure you saw, that didn't exactly pan out. Anyway, I took the long way around, cause, well, you never know what's lurking around the corner these days.
Graves: I for one appreciate you putting your life at risk to help with the call. If Phillips goes on gushing about Danhausen I'm gonna stab myself in the ear drums with my pen here.
Kingston hasn't taken his eyes off of Punk, giving Danhausen an opening to shoot in. The occult weirdo snatches Eddie's arm and twists it into a hammerlock. That gets Eddie back into the match. The Number One Contender wheels around and goes headhunting with a forearm shiver. Danhausen ducks the shot, releasing the arm as he steps around Kingston to grab him around the hips. He leans back, looking for a German Suplex.
Eddie's feet make it a few inches off of the ground but he shifts his weight to get grounded again. He then chops at his opponent's hands, breaking the grip. Danhausen abandons his hope of hitting the German and goes low instead, taking a leg for a sudden roll-up. The Referee drops down to count it...
1...
2...
Eddie kicks out! Danhausen hisses at the Referee as he quickly gets back to his feet. He pulls Kingston up and attempts to whip him into the ropes. The Mad King counters, flinging Danhausen in that direction instead.
Rebounding off of the cables, Danhausen darts back across the canvas. He narrowly avoids taking a lariat across the chin on the way back. As he passes Eddie, Danhausen leaps up and reaches over his shoulder to catch his foe around the head to bring him crashing down with a neckbreaer!
Phillips: Nice move by Danhausen there! He's doing a good job of maing up for the size difference with his speed.
Ranallo: As a colleague of ours likes to say, "he's not fast, he's sudden."
Punk: Yep. Eddie Kingston is a guy with exactly one kinda game plan and anyone who takes the time to figure that out is gonna be able to see a dozen ways to beat him. The cardio game is just one of many, many options.
Danhausen rolls Kingston over and hooks a leg, trying his luck at a pin again. The Official moves in for the count...
1...
No! Kingston powers out at one! Danhausen looks surprised by this. He turns to the Ref to complain then gets pie-faced by an irritated Eddie on his way back up.
Both men get vertical. Before Danhausen can really get going again, Kingston grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him into a forearm. His elbow collides full-force with the freakshow's forehead, sending his eyes spinning around in their sockets.
Eddie keeps him by holding on to his head with both hands in a sort of clinch. He yanks the smaller man towards him, slamming some knees up into his bread baset before unceremoniosuly tossing him into one of the corners.
Ranallo: Kingston found an opening and now he's implenting that street fighting style he's world famous for!
Graves: I'd go so far as to say "notorious".
Punk: He's got no problem bullying guys half his size. That's his whole thing - he made a big name for himself beating up a scrub like LA Knight and what's he done since against quality competition? What's this guy's pay-per-view record?
Kingston hears Punk trash talking him from over at the commentary booth. Looking that way, he puts a finger to his lips and shushes the champ. The crowd goes quiet on que as well. Eddie smirks. He takes the opportunity to make his next move count - a massive, knife-edged chop right to that neo-trad demon bat in the middle of his opponent's chest.
Some of the fans "WOOOO" while others just wince. Danhausen crumples from the serious blow. Eddie picks him up and drapes his arms over the top ropes before firing away with machine-gun chops Kojima-style. The fans count them off until the hits become too fast and furious to keep up with. Kingston punctuates the assault with one last seering palm strike then steps aside while Danhausen stumbles away, gasping for air.
Ranallo: A clinic on chop suey!
Graves: Stop it, Mauro. You're embarrasing me.
Eddie glances back over at the Champ and tells him to "watch this". He steps up behind the quaking Danhausen, reaches his arms around, holds tight and leans back to slam him down with a Saito Suplex!
The maneuver folds up the heinous monster man like a lawn chair. Kingston spreads him out, pushes his shoulders into the canvas and shoots the half. The Official counts it off...
1...
2...
Danhausen kicks out in time! The fans pop, delighted to see the unique talent show some tenacity against a bonafide main-event star.
Phillips: Danhausen has been pitted against one killer after the next, from Batista to Rollins, and now Eddie Kingston. We've seen how resilient he is - will he be able to fight back now or is The Mad King going to run away with this one?
Punk: Eddie Kingston is the master of self-sabotage. I don't think he realizes that no matter who he's fighting against, he'll always be his own worst enemy.
Kingston has Danhausen up again, but seeing that CM Punk is still running his mouth, he calls over his shoulder "Shut the fuck up!" The fans pop for the cursing. One man, however, is not amused. Danhausen suddenly comes back to life. He's huffing. He's puffing. He's all sorts of ticked. The Mad King has struck a nerve and crossed a line. Kingston looks back at him wondering what the heck is going on.
"NO SWEARING~!"
Danhausen tees off on him, landing a vicious combination of strikes to the head and body that soon leaves the Mad King stunned. He caps off the flurry by whipping Eddie into the ropes and catching him with a Big Back Body Drop on the way back, using Kingston's own momentum against him.
Rather than go for a pin, the enraged 300-pounder scrapes him back up, and with no shortage of effort, hoists Eddie on to his shoulders. With his knees quivering beneath him, Danhausen turns to face the hard cam, letting the world see what he can do, and nowing full well who's watching at ringside, too.
Phillips: Looks like he's going for the Very Nice, Very Kneevil!
Graves: Gimmick infringement!
Punk: The nerve of this kid, stealing a move that I invented...
Ranallo: Not to stir the pot, but Danhausen is, admittedly, "very evil", and he did turn up in the UWF right around the time all these attacks started happening.
Punk: Huh... interesting point, Mauro.
Danhausen pushes up to execute his rendition of the GTS. But Kingston slips off his back first. He lands on his feet, and when his opponent turns around, he takes a Spinning Backfist to the head!
Crashing into the mat, Danhausen might just be out cold. Kingston doesn't go for a cover right away, though. He marches back over towards the commentary side of the ring and leans against the ropes, reminding Punk that just like that, the match could be over in a split second. All it takes is one shot.
Phillips: I think you've got him a bit aggitated there, Champ.
Graves: Shut up, Phillips! He can see that for himself!
Punk: Enjoy me well you got me, Eddie. Once I'm done with you, it's back to to obscurity.
Eddie wags a finger at Punk and goes back to work. He sees Danhausen starting to stir, crawling on to all fours. Kingston rushes over and blasts him across the side of the head with a big boot, dropping him again. While he could try for that pin, he instead sits Danhausen up, putting him in perfect position for the Sliding D.
Kingston doesn't go for the finisher, though. Not right away. Its back to the ropes. He calls over to Punk, telling him to watch close, cause this is how it's gonna end for him too.
Graves: What an arrogant jerk. No respect. A classic New Yorker for ya.
Ranallo: As promising a young talent as Danhausen is, Kingston has battered him into a stupor and now he's free to play with his food.
Punk doesn't say a word this time. With a smug, unamused expression spread over his mug, he leans back with arms crossed and watches. Kingston goes back to the match, lining up Danhausen in his sights. He's in prime position for that sliding forearm. Just before Eddie takes off running, however, he changes his mind. Shaking his head, he just walks over to his opponent and picks him up off the mat.
Like Danhausen had done moments ago, Kingston lifts him up over the shoulders in a fireman's carry position. This really catches Punk's attention. He ditches the headset and stands up out of his seat, fists curled into balls. Eddie walks over towards the ropes with his opponent draped over him. He cackles maniacally as he goes to finish the match with the stolen move.
Graves: Don't these guys have any shame?
Ranallo: Eddie Kingston with the GTS for the win!
Phillips: And all Punk can do is watch! He's forbidden from attacking anyone outside of the matches he's booked in!
Eddie flings Danhausen up and over, but he waited too long. He gave his foe too much time. Danhausen slides off his back, just like Eddie did, and drops behind him. The Very Nice, Very Evil competitior catches him with an inside cradle, rolling up Kingston's shoulders into the mat for a surprise cover! The Referee counts it...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER...
DANHAUSEN!
The crowd is stunned silent, but when Danhausen pops up with an equally shocked, half-concussed, half-thrilled grin on his face, they can't help but give it up for the guy. The Referee raises his arm in victory while Kingston sits up, not knowing what exactly just happened.
Ranallo: He did! Danhausen snatched that match from the jaws of defeat and scored a pin over the the Number One Contender!
Phillips: A feat very few men can lay claim to here in the UWF. I can't help but wonder if Danhausen doesn't have what it takes to find a way to steal the Royal Rumble too. Imagine that!
Graves: I refuse to even stomach the idea.
Punk barely even cracks a smile while he watches Eddie's post-match confusion play out. By the time Kingston is standing again, the Champ has hopped the barricade and disappeared back into the crowd to avoid trouble. Danhausen, meanwhile, is stumbling up the ramp while his wicked theme music plays through the PA. He is eual parts gleeful and sinister in his celebration. Kingston shakes his head as he watches him go, disappointed and frustrated that he got caught like that. Revolution continues elsewhere.
Bryan Danielson is seen stretching in his locker room. Danielson’s own personal cameraman is there and Danielson looks at the camera and he begins to speak.
Bryan Danielson: Tonight I team with my rival Randall Keith Orton. You see unlike most people in this industry I am a professional. I am able to put business first and especially when it comes to winning the match. Last week not going to lie a tough loss to the champ. I really wanted to prove myself to Punk, but what that loss did, even more, was motivate me even more. You see the Royal Rumble is the one event I need to show everyone Bryan Danielson is still who he claims to be.
In this tag match, I am going to carry Randy Orton to a victory, and not only will I carry Randy Orton to a victory I am going to carry his ass over the top rope at the Royal Rumble. You see each man in that match they aren’t preparing like how I am doing it. I am making sure that I am in the best physical condition possible. Because at the Rumble I am not just planning to do the Royal Rumble match. Oh no, I have something else in mind in fact EC3 has already signed the papers.
What is this paper going to reveal you should know a gentleman never reveals his secrets. But this is all a part of the fun and games of playing mind games with someone and Randy this paper does have your name on it. I know it can be simple as revealing the paper, Bryan. Show everyone what in the heck you’re talking about but like I mentioned before you beating you is by messing with your ego. You don’t like when people do that. So this match Randy Watch your back.
Bryan disappears as the show moves on.
The scene opens on Batista.
Batista: Dominance. That’s what Big Dave is in a nutshell. Right now, you might not think that but since when does a few losses erase the rest of a man’s legacy? It doesn’t. You don’t have a solution and material strong enough to wipe me away from wrestling history be it past, present, or future. Tonight isn’t what I’d call historical because it’s just going to be me beating the shit out of a midget, but it is what I’d call a turning point. And it’s too late to get on the hype train now because it’s left the station, so a few weeks or months from now when I’m ripping through the roster like they’re tissue paper, don’t act like you were ever onboard. And for those on the tracks, don’t say you weren’t warned.
As Batista finishes speaking, Revolution continues.
The arena lights all go down and black out. The huge screen on the stage emits the only light now as it displays the now Ominous words of "The Alpha Academy". Still cloaked in shadows steps a lone figure onto the stage. The leader of the Academy himself.
He stands there for what seems like an uncomfortable time before starting to walk to the ring. His eyes are locked the entire time. He never loses sight of the Holy Battle Ground in front of him. He gets to the end of the ramp and slowly lowers his head. He stands there for about 5 seconds before raising his head again to face the ring.
Tony Chimel: Weighing in at 208 pounds, The American Alpha, Chad Gable!!
Chad slowly, almost robotically makes his way to to the stairs and begins to climb them. He grabs the rope and walks along the length of the apron, running his hand across the rope. He gets to the turn buckle and pats the top pad. Chad wipes his feet on the apron and steps into the ring. He takes a few seconds to walk circles in the ring. He steps into the center of the ring and kneels to his knees and bows his head one more time. He head slowly raises, followed by his body. He remains locked firmly in the center of the ring.
FAAAAAAAAME!
David Bowie's iconic banger hits the soundsystem and the fans hit their feet in a mixed reaction for the former UWF Champion. Some in the stands are happy to see one of the best to ever do it making his grand return to the UWF ring, while others have yet to forget his underhanded ways and refuse to give up the grudge. Ziggy emerges from the back regardless, fired up and ready to go as he does his usual pose for the benefit of the rabid crowd.
Ziggler trots down the ramp, clapping palms with fans who reach for the high five, then jogs on the spot at the foot of it before heading up the steps, walking along the apron, and straddling the middle rope for a second before entering the squared circle to prepare for the contest.
VS 
DING DING DING
Being both amateur wrestlers, the two meet in the middle of thing ring and sprawl. Gable is able to take Ziggler's back but Dolph sits out and breaks his hold, slipping over and taking his back. Gable does the same and they quickly rush back to their feet. Ziggler tries to surprise him with a Superkick but Gable ducks it. He takes his back and pushes him to the ropes, going for Chaos Theory but Ziggler holds onto the ropes as Gable goes rolling back to his feet. Ziggler runs at him before he can fully get to his feet and hits the Famouser! He goes for the pin right away!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Gable kicks out! Ziggler goes to pick up Gable but Chad gives him a Double Leg Takedown. Ziggler tries to fight back to his feet but Gable takes his back and lifts Dolph with a Deadlift German Suplex! Ziggler lands hard on the back of his head and Gable right away picks his foot and goes to place him in an Ankle Lock! Ziggler quickly rolls forward before Gable get can it fully in and he goes running towards the ropes. He comes off them and Ziggler has already rushed up to his feet, taking his head clean off with a Dropkick!
Mauro Ranallo: My God did you hear the impact of that dropkick?
Corey Graves: Ziggler may not be what he once was but he still has the best dropkick in the business.
Dolph walks over to the corner and starts to tune up the band. Gable is getting to his feet and turns around just in time to see Ziggler's foot coming towards his face! Gable catches his foot and Ziggler realizes what trouble this could be. Before Gable has a chance to put him in an Ankle Lock, hits him in the side of the head with an enziguri! Gable stumbles away but Dolph stays on the attack. He runs at him but Gable side steps and takes his back yet again. He throws him back for another German Suplex but Ziggler flips through and lands on his feet, Gable turns around and eats a uperkick to the jaw! He gopes down and Ziggler makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Dolph Ziggler!
Ziggler celebrates his re-return while Gable rolls out to the floor and the show moves on.
The titantron switches from the UWF Revolution graphic to a live feed from backstage. Renee Young is shown walking down the concrete passages of the arena. She soon arrives at a door with a massive private security guard on either side. When she goes to knock, one of the brutes puts a hand out to stop her and shakes his head "no".
Young: Uhhh... okay. I'm pretty sure he's expecting me.
Security Goon #1: Sorry Ma'am, nobody's allowed -
Before he can finish his sentence, a familiar voice calls from the other side of the door.
Punk: Let her in!
The Security team steps aside to permit Young and the camera man to enter. They come in to find CM Punk alone in a private dressing room.
Punk: Hey. Thanks for meeting me in here.
Young: Oh... no problem. Usually it's Production that has to jump through hoops just to get a couple minutes of your time. Imagine my surprise when I heard you actually requested a segment.
He shrugs non-chalantly, but his done is bone-dry with flat, scathing cynicism.
Punk: Yeah, well, there's some things that need to be said after what happened last week, a guy can't be too careful, right? EC3 offered me company security but all this bullshit keeps happening on his watch, so I decided to bring in these ex-special forces guys on my dime. Two at the door, a few more patrolling the halls and even one out there in the truck right now, keeping an eye on all cameras at all times. I've played nice and I've played ball but since Carter isn't getting to the bottom of this and the "mystery attacker" isn't so keen on revealing themselves, it's time to turn this over to some actual professionals.
Young: I can see that.
He catches something almost condescending in her voice - it triggers him.
Punk: Ya know it wasn't even six months ago when the "unfathomable" lengths someone would go to to throw me off my game was Bray Wyatt terrorizing you with some smoke and mirrors.
A traumatized flash in Renee's eyes shows she remembers that all too well.
Punk: And now it's this. I just keep on doing better - moving the goal post further and further away from what these other guys are capable of and now one of them's finally snapped. Carter, he acts all concerned about it, but he also let Vinny Marseglia turn this place into a horror show just to pop some ratings on the road to Wrestlemania. Since Joe's been gone, I can't trust anyone here. Like what's next? They poison the food in catering? A bomb goes off under the ring while I'm wrestling?
Young: So what's the plan, then? Just camp out in here until they find whoever's behind all this?
Punk: No. Can't let the terrorists win, right? Come hell or high water, I'm wrestling in that main event. I'm handcuffed with this no backstage violence clause shit - so between two sets of bell rings and four sides of ropes is the only chance I have to get some answers out of these guys. Everyone I ask its always the same - they swear to God that they're innocent and promise me that if they wanted to take me out, they'd do it with their bare hands. Yeah, well, talk is cheap. What they don't understand is how far I'm willing to go to get to bottom of this. Being booked against me right now is damn near a death sentence. Ask Hornswoggle. Ask Danielson. I'm gonna tear them down one by one until I find him. Maybe it's Shark Boy, and if not, we'll try again next week.
Young: With this investigation and the whole pursuit of justice thing going on, where's your head at regarding this upcoming title defense against Eddie Kingston?
The Champ scoffs.
Punk: Aha... this might actually be a big mistake on my part, but right now, he's one of the only people who I'm not suspicious of. This guy is so pathetically desperate to prove himself against me that, and so blinded by this gross, unearned sense of worth, that I think that he thinks he actually has an honest-to-God shot at beating me clean on his second go around. What's funny about that is that if anybody needed to resort to homicide to put me down, it's that sad sack. People love to talk about his big winning streak and how well he's done since finally making it to the big leagues. Let me ask you something - has anybody ever lost more title matches in a single year than Eddie Kingston? Did someone finally beat Corey Graves' record?
Twenty years of struggle don't prove he's a fighter - only that he struggles. He never learns from his mistakes. He's still married to the bogus, ineffective narrative that cost him his first match against me. Ya know, the one where all he has to do to get the win is rely on his straight-up pro wrestling prowess. If I were Eddie Kingston, I woulda begged EC3 for a street fight or no holds barred or something - anything - that might have given him something close to a wildcard advantage. Instead, he's juts gonna drag his out-of-shape ass out here, throw clumsy, predictable King's Road moves at me and pray that the "mystery attacker" does the heavy lifting before I bury a knee in his face and pin him in the middle of the ring.
Ever since I ditched the silver medal title, this company has thrown its best and brightest at me and I have beaten every single one of them. We already know Eddie Kingston doesn't have what it takes. None of them do. That's why they're trying to kill me off, Renee. Cause they know they can't beat me. Whatever. They can all kiss my ass. If I have to go bankrupt paying off an entire army of security to watch my back en route to becoming the first 365-day world champion, it'll be money well spent. Can't put a price on being the Best in the World.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a man in a shark costume to prepare for.
He nods toward the door, indicating they can go now. Renee thanks him for his time and turns to leave. Punk is last seen taping up his wrists before the scene fades out and Revolution continues elsewhere.
The scene opens with Randy Orton standing and he look at the camera.
Well hello UWF, tonight is the night where I team up with the American Dragon himself against Wardlow and Roman Reigns. I must admit that both Bryan and I don't trust each other very much. We both know each other so well that we can kill each other. But tonight, we are just going to focus on winning the tag team match. Then afterwards we will finish what we have started in the first place. But either way, I hate Danielson. I respect the man himself and the things that he can pull himself to make his way to come out of retirement to wrestle again. If he makes one mistake by double crossing me tonight, I can promise you that there will be hell to pay and there will be a lot of consequences that Bryan will face. Because if he thinks he can disrespect me like everyone else in the damn locker room has done. There won't be anything to laugh about tonight because everyone will see what I have on my sleeves and the destruction that I will cause in our tag team match. Win or lose. I can promise you that I will make sure they will all pay the ultimate price because by the end of the night. Only one man will be having the last laugh and it will be your truly.....Randy Orton.
As for the Royal Rumble, everyone will see why they call me the dangerous and psychotic Viper when slithering my way into victory. Until then, everyone better watch their backs and keep their eyes open because I am coming for them!
The scene fades and ends with Randy Orton breathing hard with angry eyes.
”I Walk Alone” begins playing, sending the crowd into an uproar as many are booing but there are still fans sprinkled amongst them that are cheering the big man. Without much delay, out he walks and begins making his way to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Washington D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds, BATISTA!
Batista enters the ring and gets ready for the match ahead.
Chimel: Next... from Dublin, Ireland... weighing in at 147 pounds... The King, Hornswoggle!
"Down With The King" by Run DMC hits as King Hornswoggle come out to a chrous of boos and he smiles wearing his crown. He walks down the entrance ramp waving all to his peasants as he turns to the right and he walk up the steel steps. He walk along the ropes as he stops and he slides under the ring ropes.
VS 
DING DING DING
Not one to back down, Hornswoggle takes off running at Batista right out the gate! Batista simply comes forward and delivers a boot right to his little head! Swoggle looks unconscious but Batista isn't about to settle for that, he's got some anger to take out. He picks his opponent up with one hand and places him on the top turnbuckle. Swoggle however suddenly bites down on his arm and Batista tries to wiggle his arm free but Swoggle has a firm grasp on him. Big Dave retaliates by just punching the side of his head and Swoggle falls down to the mat. Swoggle is loopy but he still comes in for the attack. He rushes Batista but with one fell swoop, Batista catches him and shoots him into air and drives him back down with a Spinebuster!
Tom Phillips: Hornswoggle might be broken in half!
Corey Graves: Good! Ever since his return, Batista has been put against a cascade of clowns and not real competitors and this time he's going to make them pay.
Batista picks up Swoggle and gives him just a straight Powerbomb! Despite his small size, the sheer power of Batista causes the whole ring to shake. Not satisfied with just one, he picks up the former Television Champion up only to deliver an even bigger Powerbomb! Hornswoggle is sprawled out like he just fell from 30 feet in the air but Batista still isn't done with him. He picks him up and brings him over to the corner. He then climbs up to the middle rope while still holding onto Swoggle.
Mauro Ranallo: Oh no, he's not gonna do what I think he's gonna do is he?
Corey Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, turn your eyes away from the screen and cover your children's eyes because we're about to see a murder live on television.
Batista shoves Swoggle's head between his legs and hoists him up. Swoggle however ends up biting him on the forehead! Rather than try to fight free or just punch at hi,, Batista simply jumps off and delivers a massive Batista Bomb! Swoggle lands with such impact that his little body goes flying 3 feet into the air! Batista gets back to his feet and simply places his boto over Swoggle's face and tells the ref to make the count.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Batista!
Batista looks down at Hornswoggle and a scowl comes across his face. He kicks him until he rolls out of the ring, Batista not even wanting to share the ring with someone like him. He wipes his hands clean like he just took out the trash before leaving and heading up the ramp as the show rolls on.
The titantron switches from the UWF Revolution graphic to a live freed from backstage. The shot is focused in on that same door we saw earlier - where Renee Young went to interview CM Punk. The UWF Champions presently steps through it.
Punk: Okay guys, we've been over this. One in front, one in back, eyes peeled on the way to Gorilla. I don't now why EC3 thinks its such a great idea to have me out there doing commentary right now but when you're a natural at - wait... guys?
The Second City Saint looks up and around. His two security guards aren't standing at their post any more. Punk clenches his fists. He's on high alert - his guard up. Just before he can wheel around and go back inside, someone comes down the hall.
Punk: Orton?
Indeed, it's the Viper. Randy Orton strolls down the passage with a dangerous, devil-may-care swagger. The small smirk on his face lets Punk and the audience watching in the fact that Randy is the reason behind the absent security. This isn't the M.O. of the Champ's "mystery attacker", though. A head-on confrontation with the camera watching isn't quite the same as vehicular assault or attempted murder-by-rigging. With a scrappy weariness, Punk addresses his old rival.
Punk: Alright, you've got my attention, Randy. Is this confession time or have you got something else on your mind?
Randy Orton looks at Phil face to face as he stares him with his angry eyes.
Orton: Look here Phil, if you think I am going to confess to you that I hit your buddy Samoa Joe and then you better got another thing coming. Because at the Royal Rumble, I promise you that I will win and then I am going to come after you to take that precious UWF Championship belt off your skinny waist. There isn't a damn thing you or anybody can do about it. Oh yeah, one more thing. You better shine that UWF Championship nice and shiny for me because we will see each other again real soon.
Randy Orton laughs as he walks off, leaving an irritated Punk in his wake. The Champ stomps off in the other direction while Revolution continues elsewhere.
We go backstage where Renee Young is standing by...
Renee Young: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time - Shark Boy.
Shark Boy walks into the frame looking focused.
Shark Boy, last week you made your in-ring return beating Batista and this week you will go one on one against the current UWF Champion CM Punk, just how much of a whirlwind have these past few weeks been for you?.
Shark Boy: Ya know it's funny Renee, just a short month ago ol' Sharky was sittin' in the Shark Cave slammin' Sharkweisers and watchin' Shark Week re-runs and then he gets the call - the Royal Rumble's round the corner and everybody and their mother is comin' back to the UWF. Now Shark Boy took out the trash on his first week and we won't be seeing Rob Conway around these parts for a long time and then last week, like you said Shark Boy whipped Batista's Hollywood bass - and this week it's no different because Shark Boy is here to do one thing and one thing only and that's whip bass and raise shell and it don't matter if you're a Hollywood megastar, a wannabe male model or the Heavyweight Champion of the World... when the glass shatters your bass belongs to Shark Boy.
Renee Young: With the Royal Rumble just around the corner, do you have one eye on the 30 Man Royal Rumble match with an eye to gaining momentum this week?
Shark Boy: Momentum is a hell of a thing and Shark Boy's lookin' to pick up some steam headin' into the Royal Rumble match but rest assure Shark Boy's also fixin' to send a message straight to the main man himself CM Punk. See CM Punk's a marked man around these parts and he's been on the receiving end of some psycho trying to take his career if not his damn life and that ain't Shark Boy's style and Shark Boy ain't no Colombo so don't expect me to take a guess on who's trying to take out CM Punk but let me tell CM Punk this - Shark Boy might be focused on winnin' the Royal Rumble but that don't mean he ain't focused on CM Punk first. So I suggest CM Punk put all the attempted vehicular homicide to the back of his head and focus on the task in hand because if he doesn't? - well then his bass is just next in line to be on a receiving end of a Chummer. Shark Boy's goin' out there to send a message to Punk, a message to Ethan Carter and a message to the whole damn UWF locker room - this isn't a novelty run, this isn't a little nostalgia act - Shark Boy doesn't make up the numbers, he didn't before and he doesn't now. Shark Boy plans on winnin' that Royal Rumble so Punk, consider tonight a preview of what's comin' for ya at Wrestlemania... a bass whippin' courtesy of toughest son of a fish in the UWF and that's the fishin' line because Shark Boy said so!
Shark Boy marches off screen as the show rolls on
Chimel: The following contest is a tag team match and is set for one-fall!
The scene opens where the arena is shown as "Voices" by Rev Theory hits as Randy Orton comes out and he walks down the entrance ramp.
Chimel: Introducing first... from St Louis Missouri... weighing at 250 lbs... "The Viper" Randy Orton!
Orton gets into the ring and busts out his signature pose on the turnbuckle. Before he can get the full sweeping camera pan in, though, his moment is interrupted by his teammate's music. That clearly doesn't sit well with him.
Born for Greatness plays throughout the arena out comes the American Dragon Bryan Danielson who lifts his arms in the air as the fans cheer hi. Danielson than shadow box's his way down the ramp as the fans cheer. Danielson finally hits the top rope and gets the roar from the crowd before jumping down and removing his jacket ready for the contest at hand.
Chimel: Next... from Aberdeen, Washington... weighing in at 205 pounds... Bryan Danielson!
The former World Champ heads over to his corner, giving Orton the cold shoulder as he volunteers himself to start the match on the apron.
“THIS IS WAR”
The brooding behemoth they call Wardlow storms down the ramp, clad in his ring gear instead of the usual suit and tie. Unlike his last outing, he has Tommaso Ciampa with him this time.
Chimel: And their opponents... introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Tommaso Ciampa... weighing in at 267 pounds... from Middlefield, Ohio... Wardlow!
He climbs into the ring and stands in his team's corner, waiting for Reigns to join him there.
The crowd is on their feet as the horns blare throughout the arena and multiple bright blue lasers begins to shine from the top of the ramp. The “Big Dog” Roman Reigns steps out from behind the curtains as the fans begins to boo in unison causing the arena floor to shake and tremble with murmurs. Reigns is followed by his special council Paul Heyman and fellow Universal Enforcer, the Intercontinental Champion Seth Rollins. Paul Heyman is holding the holding the Championship firmly while duo the duo stare at crowd down and eat the boo’s for a meal.
A tremendous amount of pyro shoots out of the stage from behind the trio as continue to make their way down the ramp. Roman Reigns leads the pack as he slowly climbs up the steel ramps and enters the ring from the side. He takes his jumpsuit off to display his true ring attire, still eating up the boo’s from the crowd.
Chimel: Next... being accompanied to the ring by Seth Rollins and Paul Heyman... weighing in at 280 pounds... from Pensacola, Florida... He is 'The Samoan Chief' Roman Reigns!
Reigns steps in next to Wardlow. The two share some words about who is going to be starting the contest but after some council from Paul Heyman, Reigns respectfully steps the outside without another word.
With Wardlow and Orton ready to go and their partners on the apron, the Official calls for the bell.
VS
DING DING
Orton approaches the center of the circle with a cocksure swagger, his arms down at his sides, head tilted to one side, a judgmental stare aimed at his opponent. Wardlow's the kind of guy he'd hired and fired a hundred times over as the P.O.T.U.F. back in the day. Just another rookie primed and ready to have their head damn near taken off by the RKO. The Viper doesn't seem at all worried.
If Wardlow can sense his opponent's dismissive condescension, he doesn't look intimidated or offended by it. The yolked-up fixed maintains that cold, calculated professional demeanour the fans have come to now him for when he stands at Ciampa's side, even when he's in the ring dressed to compete. When he finally locks up with Orton, they see some intensity brea through the surface, and Randy understands right away that this isn't some run-of-the-mill meathead.
When the Apex Predator looks to pull him in for a side headlock, Wardlow cleverly cahnges up his foot work to move around and beside Orton. Randy just barely avoids taking a back suplex to start to the contest, slitering out of his foe's grasp in the knick of time.
Wardlow stays on the offensive, coming after Randy and forcing him into the ropes before launching him across the ring with an Irish Whip. While Orton heads for the far side, Wardlow chases after him rather than wait to catch him coming bac. Randy hits the ropes and finds himself on the wrong end of a lariat milliseconds later as Wardlow sandwhiches him against the cables.
Phillips: Oof! Big shot from Wardlow there! He's coming into this one fired up.
Graves: After that loss to Reigns, he must feel like he has something to prove. I think it's worth mentioning that unlike his last outing, he has Ciampa in his corner tonight.
Ranallo: With Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins there with him. Heyman spoke a claming word to Reigns on the outset of the match - his expert council might prove to be a significant factor in keeping that team together in this clash between feuding parties.
Orton coughs out a lungful of air after getting blasted. He isn't able to catch his breath before Wardlow shoots him back across the ring. This time he lets Orton rebound back and catches him with a spinning powerslam - a move we've seen Randy use countless times oer the course of his career. Wardlow keeps The Viper flat on his back while trying for an early pin.
1...
Randy gets a shoulder up right away. This thing's just getting started. Bryan yells at him to get up and in the fight, while Reigns simply stands on the apron stoically.
Wardlow gets right back to work, grabbing his opponent by the head to pull him up to a vertical base. Orton turns things around for himself and catches the big man with a European Uppercut to create some distance. When Wardlow backs up a few steps, Randy leaps into the air and clips him with a picture-perfect dropkick.
With two boot prints etched into his chest, Ciampa's bodyguard is rocketed across the canvas. When Rollins shouts at him to get his ass back up, the Prime Time Medalist shoots his future opponent a nasty glare. Seth doesn't seem to notice. A concerned Heyman clearly does.
Phillips: Just like that, Orton is back in the fight! Will he tag in Bryan, or is he too proud to co-operate with the man that blindsided him last week?
Ranallo: They'll need to work together to overcome this monstrous tandem - that is, unless they implode first. I see a lot of differing sorts of opinions coming from those cornermen. It's a combustable set-up to say the least.
Graves: Oh please. Have we ever seen a more professional, collected thug that Wardlow? And Roman Reigns is was an International Champion! These guys know what's at stake. I trust them to put aside their differences to get the job done a lot more than the team with the guy that nearly crippled his partner seven days ago.
Wardlow catches his balance and comes back at Randy. A telegraphed haymaker misses by a mile. Randy ducks, catches him around the neck and drops down, slamming his foe's back against his own with that classic backbreaker of his. When Wardlow stands back up writhing in pain, Orton spins him around, puts a knee in his stomach and drops him with a DDT!
The big man's head smashes into the mat. Orton rolls him over and shoots the half...
1...
2...
Wardlow shoves him away just after the second count. The Viper slithers away, his gaze narrowing as he visualizes hitting the RKO. Crouched down and ready to strike, he patiently waits for Wardlow to rise so he can -
Bryan reaches over the ropes and tags his partner on the back, introducing himself into the match. Orton stands and turns, infuriated. Danielson pays him no mind as he comes through the ropes and takes over from there. The Official steps in and tells Randy he needs to exit the ring - that might be the only thing stopping him from going after his partner. The Viper begrudgingly takes his spot on the apron while Danielson pulls Wardlow back up.
Ranallo: You could cut the tension with a knife. There is some serious animosity between Bryan Danielson and Randy Orton.
Graves: Two guys who have been around the UWF for a long, long time and from my understanding, have never really liked each other. Orton scored that win over The American Dragon at Slammiversary - Danielson is too much of a competitive egomaniac to just let that go. That guy has a compulsive need to prove he's better than everyone.
Phillips: And Randy Orton has never been one to back down from a fight when there's one to be had. But does a win on the record books mean more to them that getting at each others' throats right now?
Danielson lifts Wardlow into a kneeling position. The giant is still seeing stars so remains prone as Bryan leans into him with some kicks to the chest.
"YES! YES! YES!"
The crowd chants along with each landed blow. Danielson caps it off with a Buzzsaw Kick to the side of the head that absolutely dummies his opponent. He then runs for the ropes, building up some speed, maybe to come back with that Running Knee - The Dragon's Bite.
Somehow, Wardlow finds the strength and wherewithal to counter. He pops up just as Bryan's coming in hot and levels him with a huge clothesline that turns the Hall of Famer inside out. Wardlow then drags Bryan's near-lifeless body back towards his corner and tags Reigns into the match.
Graves: See? What did I tell you? Some honest-to-God teamwork.
Ranallo: Certainly a lot less hostility on that side of the ring. Wardlow recognized that he needed a break and is bringing in a fresh Reigns to take over. It's tag team wrestling basics, but a big ask given the history between these two men and their partners standing at ringside.
Reigns steps into the ring and grabs hold of Bryan. He pounds him with a straight ride to the head. The Referee warns him about those closed fist strikes. The Big Dog scowls at him for the interupption.
Roman then whips Bryan into the ropes, hoisting him up into a fireman's carry position when he comes back and then dropping down to hit a thunderous Samoan Drop! Rollins pounds the mat gleefully and then looks up at Wardlow, telling him that "that's how it's done". Again, Ciampa shoots daggers at the Architect.
The Head of the Table turns around and hooks a leg to put Bryan away. The Official makes the count...
1...
2...
He kicks out at two! Roman shakes his head. He's already over this. Sitting Bryan up, Reigns pulls him in and locks on a tight Guillotine choke. Bryan might have been almost out cold, but he comes bac to life as he instinctively starts fighting for air. His fingers pry at Roman's grip but it's impossible to pull off that shredded bicep.
Reigns squeezes. He twists and leans in. Danielson is fading fast. Orton yells at him to fight back but it might be too late. His arms start to droop as Roman continues to apply pressure.
Ranallo: What a statement it would be for Reigns to submit a legendary grappler like Bryan Danielson.
Phillips: It might be the upset of the year so far!
Graves: I think some fans today forget about how dominant Reigns was during his time as an active singles competitor on the roster. He carried a world title into Wrestlemania - how many people can say that? So a statement, sure. But an upset? I don't think so.
Bryan isn't about to tap. The Referee is clearly thinking about just calling the match off. Before he can, though, a desperate leg shoot out and just barely catches that bottom cable. Danielson gets the rope break before it's too late. Roman groans and lets go of the hold, feeding a forearm into his opponent's head to keep him down before going back to his corner to tag Wardlow in.
Having had some time to regroup, Ciampa's fixer comes through the ropes looking ready to go again. He scoops Bryan off of the mat, flips him up on to his shoulders, and without wasting any time, drives him down into the mat with a Powerbomb!
Ciampa walks over to Rollins, gets up in his face, points at the action and is like "no that's how you do it". Seth shoves him way, warning him to keep his distance. Heyman tries to mediate but the IC Champion and the man set to challenge for his title next aren't hearing it. Reigns turns away from the action, looking ready to intervene. Wardlow is ready to pin Bryan, but sees things going haywire on the sidelines and heads that way instead. He grabs a hold of Reigns' shoulder before the Big Dog can hop down from the apron.
Roman doesn't like. He wheels back around and shoves Wardlow away. The Referee runs over and says that counts as a tag. Reigns is all like "Fine" as he comes back through the ropes, telling Wardlow to watch himself.
Ranallo: Trouble in paradise!
Phillips: Things were running smoothly between Wardlow and Reigns. Its the arguing between Rollins and Ciampa that through them off their game.
Reigns stomps across the ring to finish off Bryan. The Referee sticks around in that corner, leaning over the ropes and warning the cornermen to cool their jets or he'll toss them out. That hardly de-escalates things as they start shouting at him next.
With all that fuss going on, Reigns doesn't notice Randy creeping through the ropes behind him. He's lining Bryan up for a Superman Punch when Orton comes outta nowhere to catch him him an RKO! The crowd pops big for the sneak attack. By the time the Referee turns around, Orton has already rolled back to apron like nothing ever happened.
Graves: Cheap shot by Orton!
Phillips: The Referee didn't see it!
Bryan uses the ropes near a neutral corner to help himself back up. The aruging between Seth and Tommaso has only gotten worse now, each blaming the other for what just happened. As Roman starts to recover, Danielson uses the power he has left to charge across the ring and blast with a Running Knee!
Reigns goes down and The American Dragon sprawls on him for the cover. Wardlow makes no effort to come in and break up the pin while the Ref counts it...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNERS...
BRYAN DANIELSON AND RANDY ORTON!
"Born for Greatness" hits the PA again while Bryan slowly rises to his feet to have his hand raised. Orton comes in to receive the same symbloic gesture from the Ref, who quickly steps out of the way fearing a violent confrontation between the two. They don't fight, though. Orton and Bryan simply stare each other down, knowing that some day soon, they'll have the opportunity to settle the score.
Ranallo: It seemed like Wardlow and Reigns working as a wel-oiled machine would be their key to victory. Then the match turned on a dime.
Phillips: Orton could have left Bryan to the wolves there. Instead he decided to help his partner to secure the win. I'd be lying if I said I was very surprised.
Ranallo: Everything the Apex Predator does is calculated. He knows that wins matter. He knows when to pick his sports. And heading into the Rumble, we've seen that he clearly has ambitions of a world championship match in his future. Randy Orton is playing the long game here.
Orton backs away, leaving the ring. Bryan follows soon afterward. Seth and Ciampa are still going at it. Wardlow drops down to get between them, shoving Rollins away when he gets all up in Tommaso's face. That's the straw that breaks the camels back.
The Intercontinetnal Champion punches Wardlow in the mouth then pushes him aside so he can go after Ciampa. A wild brawl ensues, fists flying all over the place as the rivals beat the holy heck out of each other. Wardlow recovers and yanks Seth back. Before he can lay a hand on him, Reigns comes tumbling through the ropes, shooting all of his considerable body weight into Wardlow like a human torpedo. They crash into the base of the entrance ramp and start scrapping it out.
Ciampa comes backs after Seth while security rushes down the ramp by the dozen. Carter has sent every available body, including referees and road crew members to break up the fights. It takes several men on each guy to pry them apart. Ciampa and Seth are like wild animals going at each other, while the first wave of people looking to get between the brutes on the ramp are knocked away like bug on the windshields of semi's.
Security continues to pour out to shut down the impromptu brawl while the fans go nuts. The show is promptly taken elsewhere while staff is still trying to separate everyone.
The scene opens up with Sami Zayn standing by.
Sami Zayn: Well hello friends! I know you've all been eagerly awaiting to see what kind of dirt I found out about Bray Wyatt and how it pertains to the ongoing CM Punk investigation. I know EC3 really has a vested interest in it but something seemed to have happened. You see last week, I made my big return to the ring and was told going forward I would now be an active competitor again. The only problem though is that I haven't quite gotten the contract yet. I was also mysteriously left off of tonight's match card. Now just why exactly would that happen? I know I've got news to break and so Ethan may have thought I needed to focus my attention on that but I can multitask with the best of them. That's why I'm holding off on my findings for another week! So see you all then! Oh and Ethan, make sure I'm booked. Ciao!
Sami walks off laughing to himself as the show moves on.
Bryan Danielson appears after the match and he is smiling ear to ear after a big win. Bryan then picks up the yellow envelope and he begins to speak
Bryan Danielson: Cameraman zoom in here. We got right here that envelope with the piece of paper. Randy, I carried you to that victory and after looking in your eyes I know you want to fight me just as much as I do you. So Randy you want to make it to Wrestlemania in the main event? You want to prove you’re the best well guess what you will do that, and I will do that too because if either of us wants to win the Rumble we will have to tear each other up.
Bryan reveals the paper and on it, the contract says Street Fight Danielson vs Orton.
Bryan Danielson: That is right Orton we aren’t just in the rumble together we are going to beat the living crap out of each other in a street fight. Come how you want to wear whatever because we are going to prove who really is one of the best here in the UWF. How bad do you want it, Randy? How bad do you want to prove you the darkest? The sickest? The most demented man here in the UWF. You beating me in a street fight and then winning the Rumble would do that. See Randy if I want to main event WrestleMania I have to do this. I have to take you out.
I have to show everyone on this roster it doesn’t matter who you are I will not bow down. I didn’t come back here to the UWF just for nostalgia. I came back to the UWF to become the world champion here in the UWF. So Randy fighting you and then fighting 29 other men to prove I am the best that is the route I am going to go with.
My story isn’t going to end as a nostalgia act. My story is going to end with me proving to be the best.
The scene fades away
GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
*CRASH*
The crowd erupt as the glass shatters and the guitar laden sounds of The Toadies' 'I Come From The Water' blare over the PA system. Shark Boy wastes little time in marching out from behind the curtain full of piss and vinegar, he's mouthing off to everyone and anyone in his immediate path. The crowd at ringside reach at Shark Boy but he maintains his focus on the ring stomping his way down the ramp continuing to mouth off the entire way down the ramp towards ringside.
Tony Chimmel: Introducing, from the Deep Blue Sea, weighing in at 205 pounds... SHARK BOY!
Shark Boy stomps up the steps and through the ropes into the ring, he makes a b-line for the corner where he heads to the top rope and throws out the fin-salute to the crowd before throwing his two fists high into the air for all the Shark-o-holics out there. Shark Boy repeats this at the three other corners before taking off his vest and waiting for the bell to sound.
P U N K
The UWF Champion marches purposefully out on to the ramp, strobe lights flashing in time with the pulsing rhythm of "Digging for Windows". With his name spread big and bold up on the titantron, Punk takes a knee and checks the invisible wrist watch to confirm the time. Love him or hate him, the fans all scream along when he announces that it's Clobberin' Time!
Chimel: Making his way to the ring... being accompanied by Samoa Joe... from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at 218 pounds... The UWF Champion... CM PUNK!
The brooding Samoan Submission Machine comes trailing behind Punk as he walks down the ramp. Fans reaching over the barricade for high-fives or booing all the way up in the nosebleeds are ignored all the same. The Renaissance is realized. This is a man who has re-established himself as Best in the World and he knows out. He carries himself with bulletproof confidence, daring any and all comers to take their shot. While Samoa Joe takes his place at the corner of the apron, CM Punk climbs into the squared circle, ready to compete.
VS 
DING DING DING
Both men walk right up to each other and start throwing rights, trying to knock the taste out of each other's mouths. Shark Boy is more than used to opening a can of whoop bass so it comes as no surprise to see him getting the better of the UWF Champion. Punk decides to go low with a shot right to the ribs! Gills? A shot right to the gills! Shark Boy is gasping for breath as he falls to his knee. Punk follows up with a knee right to the side of the head! Sharky goes down and Punk grabs both of his arms and places his foot over his back. He pulls up the arms and tries to rip them right out of the sockets! Shark Boy yells out in pain but has nowhere to go.
Mauro Ranallo: Good strategy here. Shark Boy is a brawler and so taking his hands out of the equation is a good first step.
Corey Graves: I think he's trying to take his whole arms out.
Mauro Ranallo: Well yeah but I meant like, Shark Boy likes to throw hands so...
Corey Graves: I forget you keep trying to do lingo to seem hip.
Mauro Ranallo: I'm just with the times no cap. Quit acting sus Corey.
Punk is pulling back with a lot of force but Shark Boy is able to get his feet out from under him and rush backwards to put him and Punk in the ropes to break free. Punk let's go but eats a Back Elbow to the mouth just because. Shark Boy is feeling the effects of that submission though as he winces and grabs at his shoulder. Punk takes advantage by coming forward and giving him a Hip Toss but makes Shark Boy land on his ass and grabs his arm to put h9im in a Chicken Wing! Punk tries to force him face down but Shark Boy throws his head back to give him a good old fashioned Headbutt! Punk stumbles back into the corner and Shark Boy gets to his feet. He comes over and starts kicking him in the gut u8ntil he falls to a seated position. Next thing you know Punk is getting a mudhole stomped in him. Who needs hands!
Shark Boy backs off after a 4 count and starts rotating his shoulder joints to get some blood flow back in. Punk gets back to his feet only to eat a kick to the gut. Shark Boy right away goes for the Chummer but Punk pushes him forward. Shark Boy hits the ropes and comes back but Punk is right there to take him down with a Leg Lariat! Shark Boy rolls out of the ring to recover. It's not the safest of bets however as soon after, Punk comes barreling out of the ring with a Suicide Dive!
Mauro Ranallo: Punk just went fishing and it looks like his spear gun caught a big fish!
Corey Graves: Please don't tell me you're going to be making fishing references every Shark Boy match.
Mauro Ranallo: Judging by how Punk went flying out of there, we're gonna need a bigger ring!
Corey Graves: Oh God!
Punk picks up the former UWF Champion and grabs his hand, bringing him over to the corner. He places it between the steel steps and the ring post before backing up and going to kick it! Shark Boy however removes his hand just in the nick of time! He gives Punk a stiff right for trying and Punk retreats back into the ring. Shark Boy climbs the apron and goes to the top rope. Punk turns around only to eat a Missile Dropkick! Shark Boy goes for the cover!
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Punk kicks out! Shark Boy grabs him and starts to bring him back up to a vertical base but Punk gives him a few shots to the gills once more followed by a Headbutt of his own! Shark Boy is staggered but Punk unloads with two slaps to the face followed by a Spinning Back Fist and then a Roundhouse Kick to the side of the head! Shark Boy is out on his feet and so Punk kicks him in the gut and hooks both arms before hitting the Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker! Shark Boy's body is bent over his knee and Punk just flips him off. Instead of going for the pin, Punk wants to end things already. He picks up Shark Boy and places him onto his shoulders. There's not an ounce of fight in him as he lifts him up but Shark Boy turns in mid air and hooks Punk's head to give him a DDT! Shark Boy makes the cover!
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Punk kicks out!
Mauro Ranallo: Punk needs to watch out because the shark is circling him and he's in open water.
Corey Graves: Everyone thinks they got Punk right where they want him just before they lose.
Tom Phillips: The difference is Shark Boy is a former UWF Champion. He knows all about beating the competition.
Corey Graves: Yeah but how long ago was that? Plus sharks only live to be like 30 so he's aged 3 times as fast as others.
Shark Boy pulls Punk up and brings him over to the corner where he starts punching him over and over again before following up with a bite! The ref gets on him for this and he backs off with his hands in the air. He comes back to grab Punk but a knee lift to the gut cuts off his offense. Punk grabs Shark Boy's head in a Headlock and drags his face across the top rope. He then runs to the opposite side of the ring and comes back to give Shark Boy a clothesline over the ropes! Sharky hangs on though and lands on the apron. Punk grabs him and delivers a Suplex back into the ring! Shark Boy lays in the middle of the ring and so Punk climbs up to the top rope.
Tom Phillips: The UWF Champion is going up to the top so we know what's coming next.
Mauro Ranallo: Punk has had it with these Mother Effin' Sharks in his Mother Effin' Ring!
Corey Graves: That's not even a Deep Blue Sea reference, that's Snakes on a Plane!
Punk points to the heavens before coming off the top rope with the Elbow Drop! Shark Boy however rolls out of the way and Punk lands awkwardly on the elbow! He gets back to his feet while holding it and Shark Boy rises as well. Punk runs at him but Shark Boy jumps up into a Thesz Press and delivers a punch of punches to the champion! Punk covers up as best he can and rolls away to safety. He gets back to his feet and sees Shark Boy running at him with a Clothesline. Punk ducks it and grabs the arm, rotating with him to hit a Swinging Neckbreaker! Shark Boy sits up from the impact and grabs the back of his head but Punk runs right past him, hitting the ropes and coming back with a Shining Wizard! He makes the pin!
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Shark Boy kicks out! Punk has had enough and he leans over Shark Boy and just starts laying in punches. He only stops to grab Shark Boy's mask and tries to rip it right off of his face! Shark Boy grabs his hands to prevent this but Punk gives him yet another Headbutt to practically knock him out cold. It seems to also have an effect on him though as he loses his balance and almost falls over. He gets up to his feet though and brings shark Boy up along with him. He scoops him up onto his shoulders but Shark Boy starts to kick his feet and falls off behind him. He hoists Punk up and gives him an Atomic Drop! Punk bounces forward and Shark Boy follows up with a Running Bulldog from behind!
Shark Boy is feeling it as he rises to his feet and lets out a primal cry. He exits out onto the apron and climbs up to the top rope. Punk is slowly getting to his feet with his back turned toward him. Shark Boy grabs his head and pulls him in. He's getting ready for the Dead Sea Drop but Punk suddenly lifts his legs up to knee Shark Boy in the face! Shark Boy is stunned and Punk folds him up before bringing him out and giving him a Muscle Buster! He makes the pin!
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Shark Boy kicks out!
Tom Phillips: Punk paying homage to his fallen friend.
Mauro Ranallo: It wasn't enough because Shark Boy will always find a way to persevere due to his life code. You know what that is Corey?
Corey Graves: Ugh. Is it just keep swimming?
Mauro Ranallo: Atta boy!
Punk gets to his feet and rests his head in his hands, claiming it's time to end this for good. He picks up Shark Boy and places him on his shoulders. This time there's no movement and it's looking like Shark Boy may be done for but suddenly there's a pop from the crowd when Eddie Kingston comes running out from the back! He's heading straight for the ring but security comes from out of nowhere and gets him from the side to prevent him from entering the ring!
Tom Phillips: Where did security come from?
Mauro Ranallo: It looks like after last week's incident, EC3 has hired more people to protect Punk.
Corey Graves: Smart idea. You've got to protect your champion.
Security is dragging Kingston away while Punk smiles at waves goodbye to him. He suddenly turned around though and kicked in the gut before getting laid out with the Chummer! Shark Boy pulls him away from the ropes and makes the pin!
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Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Shark Boy!
Corey Graves: What the hell!
Mauro Ranallo: Shark Boy just defeated CM punk!
Corey Graves: Give the world's biggest assist to that no good dirty slob Eddie Kingston!
Tom Phillips: Hey Punk did the same thing earlier in the night.
Corey Graves: Eddie just got distracted by the champ, this was highway robbery!
Punk rolls out of the ring and security is quick to get around him, making sure no more harm can come to him. Shark Boy meanwhile is celebrating like he knows best. A couple of cans of clam juice are tossed to him and he downs them like no one's business. Eddie Kingston can be seen laughing from the stage as security helps Punk to his feet, all while Shark Boy is still guzzling down drinks as the show comes to a close.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Wardlow/Reigns vs Danielson/Orton, Danhausen vs Kingston - Fauche
Swoggle vs Batista, Gable vs Ziggler, Punk vs Shark Boy - Danny
