Post by Danny on Feb 10, 2022 20:04:57 GMT -6
As the opening video finishes, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo along with my broadcast partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Corey Graves: It's the final show before the Royal Rumble where we'll get t see CM Punk put Eddie Kingston in his place yet again!
Mauro Ranallo: It's a possibility but first Eddie has a fight with none other then the violent Randy Orton.
Tom Phillips Plus Batista picked up his first win last week against Hornswoggle but he's got tough competition this week in former UWF Champion Dolph Ziggler.
Corey Graves: But then we get the privileged of acknowledging the Intercontinental Champion when he curb stomps that idiot shark later tonight!
Mauro Ranallo: And he asked for another match last week so now let's head down to the ring to see Sami Zayn take on John Cena!
John Cena theme hit's the arena when the Fans Cheers for him in mostly Salutes through them
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He's salutes to the UWF Universe
Tony Chimel: From West Newbury, Massachusetts weighing at 260lbs John Cena
Cena Salutes to his fans and runs straight down towards the ring and slides in and runs back in fourth of the ropes and throws his hat and raise up Chain gang pose and takes off his shirt and hands the Ref his chain gang necklace.
The funky beat of Walk The Moon's "Headphones" plays and the crowd starts to boo as it means the arrival of the current? World Tag Team Champion Sami Zayn. He has the title in his hands and dances with it on the stage. He ends up calming down a bit but still walks with some swagger down the ramp, swinging his belt around like he's got a big one.
Tony Chimel: From Montreal Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 212 pounds, The Dynamic Sami Zayn!!
Sami slides into the ring and continues to dance around with his belt much to the chagrin of the paying audience. Sami walks over and makes sure to show it off to all the fans before preparing for the match.
VS 
Cena and Sami lock up in a tie up. Cena put Zayn in a headlock as he tightens the hold and Sami tries to get out. Then Sami push him off and Cena bounces off the ropes as he runs into Sami. Zayn get taken down by a shoulder tackle by Cena. He goes for the chin lock as he holds it for a while Sami tries to get out and John tighten the submission hold. But Sami managed to get up as he elbows Cena in the stomach and he let's go of the hold. Sami grabs him and he whips him to the ropes. Cena bounce back with. Huge clothesline as Sami ducks and he hits a half and half suplex. He covers him and he hook the leg.
1.....
2....
And a kick out.
Sami grab him and he pick him up as he whips him to the turnbuckle. Cena reverse it as Sami hits the turnbuckle and Cena walk over to Zayn. He climbs up as he started hitting him with punches. Then he stopped as he gets off and he walk away from Sami. Cena runs at him as Sami moves out of the way and Cena hits the turnbuckle hard. Cena turns around as Sami hits him with the Blue Thunder Bomb. He covers Cena and he hook the leg.
1.....
2....
And a kick out again by Cena.
Mauro Ranio: Oh My God, How the hell did Cena kick out of that.
Corey Graves: he just got lucky.
Tom Phillips: John is showing he doesn't give up easily.
Zayn is getting extremely frustrating as he argues with the referee and Cena get up. He quickly grab Sami from behind and he roll him up as the referee begun the count.
1....
And a kickout.
Tom Phillips: that was a close one.
Corey Graves: Sami will make sure Cena pays for underestimating the Forever Champion.
Mauro Ranalo: You got that right. You can't count out on sami Zayn. There is a reason why they call him the Forever Champion.
Eve Torres come running down to the ring as both men get up and Cena grabs Sami. Eve get on the ring ropes as the referee sees her and he tell Eve to get off the ropes.
Mauro Ranalo: What the hell is Eve doing out here!?
Corey Graves: I am not surprised that Cena always have to get a back up from his hoeski. I honestly am not surprised he didn't dump her yet.
Cena turn around to see Eve as he gets distracted and Sami used the distraction to low bow him. John falls down in pain. Eve gets off the ropes as the referee turn around and he watches Sami Zayn hits the Hellua kick on Cena. HE covers him and he hook the leg.
1....
2....
And 3.
And your winner by pinfall.....The Forever Champion Sami Zayn!!!
The referee raised Sami's hand while he is holding the Forever Championship and Cena is painfully hurt.
Ranallo: There goes the Forever Champion Sami Zayn is celebrating his victory over John Cena.
Phillips: Sami has to cheat to win of course.
Graves: Boo Hoo Philips. Don't be a huge crybaby. Sami have to do whatever it takes to win. Especially against a jobber like the TV Champion John Cena. Besides Cena can blame his hoeski for causing him the match. It's not really Zayn's fault.
The scene fades and ends with Sami Zayn is celebrating while the referee is attending to John Cena with Eve by his side.
The scene opens up with Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman walking into Seth’s locker room. The two see him listening to music through headphones with his eyes closed.
Roman: Ayo Seth!
Seth remains with his eyes closed, meditating, and music blasting in his ears.
Roman Reigns: Sethy Boy!
Roman slaps the shoulders of Seth, startling him and waking him. Seth takes the headphones off of his head.
Roman Reigns: We were able to go to the UWF vault and get the highlights of Shark Boy for you to watch. I had to go to the basement. Can you believe that his highlights are only available on DVD?
Paul Heyman: The company hasn’t even digitized his matches yet, that how’s worthless that man in the company. EC3 doesn’t even care about getting his matches and highlights to the people.
Seth Rollins: I’m not surprised. But tonight—after I kick his ass and send a message to Ciampa—they will have that one in the vaults for the world to see. I can’t even believe that he got a contract offer. How do you steal another man’s entire gimmick and run off with it? If there was never a Stone Cold Steve Austin, there wouldn’t even be a Shark Boy.
Roman Reigns: That’s what the hell I’m saying. And then there’s Danhausen.
Paul Heyman: Don’t even bring his name up.
Roman Reigns: Besides, what the hell were you listening to anyway? Baby Shark? That song is like ‘Back that Azz up’ for Kids.
Roman chuckles to himself.
Seth Rollins: Hell no, I’m not listening to Shark Boy’s theme song. I’m getting my head right for my big matches that I have coming up. I was meditating to music on 963 HZ Frequency. They call it the ‘God Frequency.’
Paul Heyman: Ooh, tell us more.
Seth Rollins: It’s music that aligns you more with the Universe. How else do you think I’m going to complete the sweep at the Rumble? I’m beating Ciampa and I have 29 other men to outlast in the Rumble. It won’t be an accident when my dreams finally come true.
Roman Reigns: Shit, I hear that.
Seth Rollins: Now if you can excuse me, I got a little more meditating to do before I watch that footage of Sharky. I got so much ass to kick I might need a third leg.
Seth begins to meditate again as Reigns and Heyman begin to hook up the DVD player to the TV with Shark boy’s wrestling tapes as the scene fades away.
As there’s a break in the action, things cut to Batista who is warming up.
Batista: The Royal Rumble is a little over a week away and, as expected, the idiots I gave the opportunity to buy into a sure thing haven’t come around and are still rooting for their favorites. Favorites like Dolph Ziggler, a record holder in the Rumble match. Dolph, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m more about business than I am about words so I’m going to make this short and sweet: your ass is getting beat tonight. The warpath of Big Dave continues and it’s going right through the Rumble to Wrestlemania. Simple as that.
Batista walks offscreen as Revolution continues.
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
"I Walk Alone” begins playing, sending the crowd into an uproar as many are booing but there are still fans sprinkled amongst them that are cheering the big man. Without much delay, out he walks and begins making his way to the ring.
Chimel: Introducing first... from Washington D.C... weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds... BATISTA!
Batista enters the ring and gets ready for the match ahead.
FAAAAAAAAME!
David Bowie's iconic banger hits the soundsystem and the fans hit their feet in a mixed reaction for the former UWF Champion. Some in the stands are happy to see one of the best to ever do it making his grand return to the UWF ring, while others have yet to forget his underhanded ways and refuse to give up the grudge. Ziggy emerges from the back regardless, fired up and ready to go as he does his usual pose for the benefit of the rabid crowd.
Chimel: And his opponent... from Cleveland, Ohio... weighing in at two-hundred-and-seventeen pounds... DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Ziggler trots down the ramp, clapping palms with fans who reach for the high five, then jogs on the spot at the foot of it before heading up the steps, walking along the apron, and straddling the middle rope for a second before entering the squared circle to prepare for the contest.
Tony heads out of the ring and after ensuring both men are ready to go, the Official calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING
The Show-Off bounces around from foot to foot, keeping loose and ready to spring in at any moment. Batista is much more stoic and sturdy to kick things off. His grim, serious expression is a polar oppostire to Dolph's cocksure smirk.
Circling around the edges of the ring, Ziggler looks for an opening. Batista beckons him to make a move. Dolph takes him up on the offer and fires in. They meet up collar-and-elbow style, with Big Dave almost imemdiately showcasing his significant size and strength advantages as he backs his opponent towards the ropes. When the Buckeye's back hits cable, the Official steps in to call for a clean break. Batista puts two hands into Dolph's chest and shoves him back as he steps away.
Graves: Did you hear the tale of the tape? Batista's got about eighty pounds on Dolph and that's one-hundred percent muscle. The guy's a tank on top of a tank.
Ranallo: His Herculean physique is impressive, no doubt, but a body like that isn't built for speed. We've seen him has some difficulty with nimble opponents with clever game plans.
Graves: Oh yeah? And how did that turn out for Hornswoggle last week?
Dolph laughs off the disrespect flaunted by the Animal and gets back to work. Once again, he navigates the edges of the squared circle, though he's a bit more selective about picking his opening this time.
Batista crouches low, ready to meet him when he finally does shoot in. A double-leg attempt is stuffed. Dolph hastily converts that effort into another collar-and-elbow to avoid being completely bulldozed by his foe. Big Dave happily locks up again, confident he'll dominate. Ziggler uses that against him, however, stepping to one side when Batista pushes forward to get him off balance.
The Show-Off then drops behind him and snags a leg, looking to end things early with a Schoolboy pin! The Referee maes the count...
1...
Batista powers out at one! Ziggler starts to get back up but Batista bats his legs out from under him with a beefy, bear-like swat. Dolph crashes down into the canvas and The Animal sprawls for a pin attempt of his own...
1...
Ziggler pops a shoulder up just before two. He then swings his body around and hooks his legs around the other man's shoulders. Rolling him over, he uses that crucifix position to try for his second pin of the contest...
1...
2...
Batista's rolls out at two, keeping Dolph on his shoulders in a fireman's carry position as he sommersaults back and then stands back up. It's an unreal feat of strength.
Phillips: Ziggler tried to catch Batista off guard there - now the Animal has him right where he wants him.
Ranallo: Dolph finds himself in a precarious position perched upon those shoulders!
Whatever Batista's intention are, he never gets the chance to execute. Dolph fires off an elbow into his temple to daze the brute and then slips off down his back. Ziggler grabs a hold of him and tries for a belly-to-back suplex, only for Big Dave to shake him off.
The Animal then turns around and grabs his opponent by the wrist. Flinging him across the squared circle with an Irish Whip, he aims to take off Dolph's head with a clothesline on the way back. Ziggler ducks beneath his arm and uses the momentum of hitting the far ropes to blast Batista with a flying forearm coming back.
Big Dave is stunned but stays standing. Doph tries his own luck at a whip. Batista keeps himself planted, then goes for a counter. Ziggler puts a stop to that by booting the movie star in the stomach. That doubles him over, allowing the Show-Off to nail a DDT!
Phillips: Nice counter by Dolph! That DDT was picture-perfect.
Graves: I'm not sure it's enough to put The Animal away, but that isn't going to stop Ziggler from trying...
The former International Champ rolls his competitor over and shoots the half. The Official drops down for the count...
1...
2...
Batista gets a shoulder up at two! Dolph runs his hands through his hair - frustrated, but not hopeless yet. He's still got some tricks left in the bag.
Grabbing his foe by the head, Ziggler drags him to a vertical base. With his hand on the back of Batista's skull, Dolph guides him voer to one of the corners and smashes him face first into the top of the buckle. It's a hard shot, but all it seems to do is awaken an anger in the Animal. His eyes seer, a vein in his head throbs.
Ziggler tries to shut him down fast with a forearm shiver. Batista shrugs it off then grabs Dolph by the hair and tights to launch him headlong into the middle of the turnbuckle. He smashes into the steel and groans in pain. Big Dave stomps away, taking a moment to collect himself with the crowd adopts a decidedly pro-Ziggler stance.
Phillips: You can hear the UWF Universe rallying behind Ziggler. By no means was he always a fan-favourite, but I think the people would love to see him have one more run at the top.
Ranallo: By the numbers, you couldn't name a single more dominant Royal Rumble competitor than the Show-Off. He'll have his chance to punch his ticket to Wrestlemania in a few short days.
Graves: If he can even make it out this match alive - and that's a big IF. Look at Batista right now! He's practically feral! He might tear Ziggler apart in there.
The Animal looks every bit of his nickname, nearly frothing at the mouth as he heads across the ring, looking to hit a move that will put his opponent down for good. He crouches int he corner opposite of Dolph's, waiting for him to pry himself off the metal and turn around.
Slowly but surely, Ziggler unwraps himself from the turnbuckle. Still moaning in pain, he stands up and turns around just as Batista is charging in for the Spear!
But Ziggler moves just in time! Big Dave misses and collides with the buckle, just like Dolph did moments earlier. The Show-Off staggers back a few steps, catching his breath and feeding off of the crowd's energy. He has the end of the match in his sights now.
Batista pushes himself away from the corner, but his eyes are glazed over. He connected hard. He stands tall, half-conscious, totally oblivious to the peril he's in. The second he wheels around, Dolph clips him in the chin with a Superkick!
The fans pop big when the boot hits flush. Batista collapses backward, but he's so close to the ropes that he falls over the top to the outside!
Ranallo: If this were the Royal Rumble match, that would count as an elimination. Unfortunately for Dolph, that's the last place he wanted Batista to land.
Phillips: He could possibly pick up the win via count-out, but something tell me that Ziggler is looking to make a statement heading into a major pay-per-view.
It's true. As Batista crashes into the floor, Dolph is already climbing through the ropes to meet him there. The Referee warns him not to go out of bounds - that goes unheaded. A ten count is initiated.
Ziggler is having some serious trouble getting his opponent up. Two counts have passed. Batista is just dead weight at this point. Totally unconscious. Three counts. The crowd starts to chant Dolph's name, willing him to power. Four counts. If only he had hair, it's so much easier to lift guys with hair. Five counts. Then six. Seven as Ziggler finally manages to get him up on to his knees. Eight as he huffs and puffs and elevates the torso, leaning it on the apron. Nine when he rolls Batista under into the ring.
He makes it back in just in time to avoid the tenth count. Dolph sprawls on him, going for the cover, hoping he didn't waste too much time...
1...
2...
Batista kicks out at two! Dolph sits up, staring at the Ref in disbelief. The third man swears the count was good.
Graves: He should have just taken the count-out!
Ranallo: A younger, more ruthlessly ambitious Dolph might have - but this isn't a Ziggler who's looking to cut corners so much as he's competing to cement his legacy as one of the best to ever do it.
Ziggler rolls towards the corner and uses the intersecting ropes to help himself up. Panting, sweating, he watches and waits for Batista to slowly come to. The Animal might not even know what state he's in, or what day of the week it is. Pure instinct has him looking to get vertical again. Once he does, Dolph comes headhunting with another Superkick...
Batista ducks in! He grabs Dolph around the waist, hooks a leg and spins around to nail a huge Spinebuster!
Graves: Spinebuster! It was a beauty, too. Arn Anderson, eat your heart out.
Phillips: Dolph is in serious trouble!
Batista stumbles to his feet, bracing himself on the ropes to stop from falling back over. Looking dead into the hard cam, he busts out that old top rope shake, leg stomp, getting all amped up thing. That gets him some cheers from the crowd, but a nervous, anticipatory sort of hush over takes the crowd when Big Dave turns back around looking to put and end to this one.
Scooping Ziggler off of the canvas, Batista flips him up on to his shoulders to hit his finishing move. As he flips Dolph over, though, that Batista Bomb is countered with a hurricanrana! The Animal is flipped head over heels and he rolls towards the ropes.
Dolph gets back up at the same time as him and blasts him with another Superkick with all the strength he has left. Batista is knocked back to the ropes again, but this time he bounces off, parlaying that forward momentum with his falling over to come in and connect with a desperate Spear!
Ranallo: MAMA MIA!
Phillips: The Superkick by Ziggler immediately followed by the Spear from Batista!
Graves: Clutch move by The Animal. Who says this guy has lost a step? That was amazing.
The Spear drives Ziggler down into the mat. Batista lands on top and stays there to makes the cover...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER...
BATISTA!
It takes a few seconds, but eventually, Big Dave sits up. A little bit later, he stands, just in time to have his hand raised as the chorus of "I Walk Alone" hits the PA. There's a mixed reaction for The Animal, but he's not listening to the fans. He's staring down at Ziggler, maybe admiring, maybe hating, maybe a bit of both. Whatever it is, he doesn't linger on in. Batista turns his back and heads out of the ring, moving slowly after such a hard-hitting contest.
Graves: That's a huge win over a former world champ heading into the Royal Rumble. Batista has to be one of the odds on favourites to win the whole thing now.
Phillips: Momentum is on his side, but Dolph's M.O. is coming back with a vengeance just when you start to count him out. The Show-Off might just shock the world again.
As Batista walks up the ramp, Ziggler sits up looking a bit disappointed. He gets a decent ovation from the fans when he stands back up on his own power. Revolution then continues elsewhere.
We cut to the backstage area where EC3 has walking into the locker room where Sami Zayn is.
EC3: Good match. Now do you have the info I need about Bray Wyatt and his involvement in the attempts against CM Punk?
Sami Zayn: Well actually, I was expecting a better match than against proverbial loser John Cena. Maybe give me a match against CM Punk or show the world what a true contender looks like when i defeat Eddie Kingston and-
EC3: Look I've had enough of this. If you don't tell me what I need to know, I'm going to terminate your contract. Have fun wrestling as much as you want on the independents.
EC3 turns to walk away but Zayn is quick to stop him.
Sami Zayn: WAIT! I have the info I just don't have it on me. It's video proof of his involvement is this whole scheme. It could put him behind bars for life! I just didn't bring it with me this week because I hoped I could get a better match. So at the Royal Rumble, you'll get your footage. You'll have everything you want and more!
EC3: Fine. But don't mistake my kindness for weakness. If you don't deliver, that's the end of your run here.
EC3 walks away leaving Zayn looking worried.
The scene opens.....
Well, hello UWF Universe. Tonight, you all will witness a extraordinary match between Eddie Kingston and I. Not only will I beat the living hell out of the man who was born in the streets of NYC. I will make sure he pay for every last sin that he have committed in his entire life. The disrespect that he and everyone in the locker room have shown me have extremely angered me more. But that is a good thing because I am always prepared and ready for a huge fight. It is time for me to silence all my haters and prove to them once again that I am as dangerous as any competitors in UWF. I will prove to Kingston that he is just a pawn in a chess game who will become just another bloody victim to my destruction. When I show him why they call me the most toughest competitors and the Viper. He and everyone will know that they can't no longer disrespect me ever again or else they will make huge consequences. As for the Royal Rumble, every last one of the competitors that enter it will just be another victim and they will have no choice to be stuck in a huge cage with the dangerous Viper himself. They will have no where to run and hide. They will have no choice to bow down and serve their future UWF King. Because at the Royal Rumble, not only will I come out as the new number one contender. for the UWF Championship. I will prove to everyone that I am the future UWF Champion in the making and that my time have come to rule my kingdom of darkness.
Tonight, Eddie will get a taste my wrath when he feel the darkness of my anger and I will show him no mercy. Come at the Royal Rumble, Kingston will be noting but a weaken human being that will lose his shot at winning the UWF Championship again.
And before I end this, I would like to address Mr. Bryan Danielson. You have the courage to issue a challenge to fight me to a Street Fight. I gladly accept it. But if I was you, I should be careful on what you wish for because you never know what may happen in our Street Fight. If you think you will get a upper hand in defeating me this time at the Royal Rumble. You better think again and don't keep your hopes up because you are going to be in for one hell of a ride. So make sure to kiss your wife and children good night for the last time because the next time they see you. You will be ending up in the hospital with broken bones and bleeding to death. So I will see you at the Royal Rumble Bryan. Good luck because you are going to need it.
Eddie. Get ready for the biggest fight of your life kid. Tonight, you will be defeated by the Viper and you will be nothing a bloody corpse. And everyone will remember the name....Randy Orton and you will be just another forgotten bloody victim.
The scene fades and ends with Randy Orton laughing.
The camera would cut to Ciampa sitting backstage, head looking down and palms clasped, around his neck is the Prime Time Medal. In the dark atmosphere of the backstage area, it seems to be the only light. Ciampa looks up at the camera.
Ciampa: Gentlemen, here we are. The beginning of the end, we are just over a week from the Rumble and a time where my Destiny can finally begin to come to fruition. You see Seth you and I, when you boil it down, aren't too dissimilar.
Ciampa would pause for a second
Ciampa: We’re both two guys who have been brought up in this business, we’ve been defined by it. Without this business there would be no Ciampa or Rollins. Two industry staples never too have been and you got to think were would we be without it. Some dead end office job, selling stuff over a phone. Its a scary reality to think about.
Ciampa would shake his head.
Ciampa: That reality doesn’t exist however and here we are two similar men on a course of destruction. Another thing that makes us the same Seth is that we don’t give in. When we get in the ring we don’t give up. We would rather be stomped into the ground and left to be nothing but blood on the mat, a stain on the existence of this industry.
Ciampa would slam a fist against the container he is sitting on, the metal ding echoing out through the backstage.
Ciampa: These past few weeks, you and Paul Heyman have been walking round here, calling my opportunity cursed, the fact that no one has successfully cashed it in yet but at the Rumble, i’m going to change that. The last time I faced you Seth the Intercontinental Championship wasn’t on the line but now it is, you may think its a guaranteed that you’re going to win just because you have a win over Punk, well after last week that isn’t much of an exclusive club anymore.
Ciampa would chuckle
Ciampa: You want to walk round here like a god Seth, well you do that. It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve already proven that God can be defeated. I’ve already shown i’m better at God and at the Royal Rumble I cement my legacy by not only defeating you but winning the Rumble and walking into Wrestlemania with one belt and leaving with two.
Ciampa would stand up from his box
Ciampa: I want to end this with a message to Punk and Kingston. Punk, if you beat Kingston i’m going to be on you from the second I win that Rumble, you’re going to wish that you got hit by that car instead of Samoa Joe, hell after what I do to you at Mania, you’ll probably end up next to him. Kingston, if you scrape together the win, I know what i’m going against, a guy just as crazy as me, a guy who won’t give up until he’s dead or his opponent is. If it comes down to that i’m going to be the last man standing.
Ciampa would grab the camera
Ciampa: Just take this as a warning for the Rumble, Seth, Punk, Eddie, every bastard in the Rumble match, I didn’t force my way to the top last year just to collapse at this hurdle. I put too much work into this over the past year. I won’t give in now and if you want to stop me, you’re all going to need to kill me. Gentlemen, have a nice evening and prepare for the Rumble, because its my time now and everyone better get out of the way or get knocked over.
With that Ciampa throws the camera over and walks away.
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
”GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
*CRASH*
The crowd erupt as the glass shatters and the guitar laden sounds of The Toadies' 'I Come From The Water' blare over the PA system. Shark Boy wastes little time in marching out from behind the curtain full of piss and vinegar, he's mouthing off to everyone and anyone in his immediate path. The crowd at ringside reach at Shark Boy but he maintains his focus on the ring stomping his way down the ramp continuing to mouth off the entire way down the ramp towards ringside.
Tony Chimel: From the Deep Blue Sea, weighing in at 205 pounds... SHARK BOY!
Shark Boy stomps up the steps and through the ropes into the ring, he makes a b-line for the corner where he heads to the top rope and throws out the fin-salute to the crowd before throwing his two fists high into the air for all the Shark-o-holics out there. Shark Boy repeats this at the three other corners before taking off his vest and waiting for the bell to sound.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent…
Bright yellow spotlights begin to shine throughout the arena immediately garnering the attention of every fan in the building. The lights begin to twinkle and move throughout the arena before fixating the at top of the ramp and changing to a blue tint. The arena then goes dark as the music continues to blare loudly from the Speakers. Suddenly, fire pyro shoots from the top of the rap ala Kane. The spotlights return, a blue tint once more, shining all throughout the arena before returning to the head of the ramp once more.
Without further ado, The Architect, Seth Rollins steps out from behind the curtains with his arms extending outwards by his sides. The Intercontinental Championship is firmly strapped around his waist and the brand new champion makes his way from the backstage arena with an extremely smug and arrogant aura. He smacks the title one good time to make sure that all eyes are on the belt before continuing down to the ring. The one and only Paul Heyman, bald head, and all, appears from the backstage area along with Roman Reigns as well following Seth.
The fans show their disapproval for the trio by launching incredibly loud boo's in unison that would register on the Richter scale. Seth walks down the ramp, slowly and methodically, his theme music exiting the speakers and entering the atmosphere, making it seem as if a real-life God like figure has just entered everyone’s presence. Seth finally makes his way to the ring, steps up the stairs and enters the ring with his manager behind him. Seth goes to one of the sides of the ropes facing the fans and puts a leg on the second rope, and he hoists the Intercontinental Championship up over his head with one hand. Seth screams at the top of lungs while boasting the title to as if to remind everyone exactly who he is. The fans react with an even louder negative reaction.
Tony Chimel: Hailing from Buffalo, Iowa & weighing in at 220 lbs, he is the Intercontinental Champion: SETH ROLLLLLLLLLLINNNNSS!!!!!!!
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, Shark Boy goes for a kick to his opponent’s stomach but Seth catches his foot and forcefully throws it back down to the mat before unloading with a stiff Clothesline. Rollins starts stomping on the chest and upper body of his downed aquatic foe as he laughs his infamous Rollins laugh. Heyman can be heard taunting from the outside of the ring, “Who’s stomping a mudhole now?” as the stomping continues. Seth relents for a moment as Sharky rolls onto his side coughing, causing Seth to push with his foot to put Shark Boy on his elbows. Rollins goes for the Curb Stomp but Sharky throws himself out of harm’s way and Seth connects with nothing but mat. The finned fighter comes off the ropes and leaps up, looking for the Lou Thesz Press, but Seth catches him and hoists him up, walking forward and reversing into a Buckle Bomb! As Sharky staggers forward, he gets kicked in the stomach as Seth goes for a Chummer but Shark Boy pushes Seth forward out of the move and runs forward as well, reversing into a Bulldog.
Tom Phillips: The tide keeps turning in this one! See what I did there? Tide?
Mauro Ranallo: Well done, Tom.
Corey Graves: Don’t encourage him!
As Rollins gets up from the mat, Shark Boy runs at him and seems to go for the Lou Thesz Press but instead reverses into a form of Shark-Canrana as Seth is sent into the nearest turnbuckle. As he hits the turnbuckle, Sharky isn’t far behind as he hits Seth with a clubbing Double Axe Handle to the upper back. As he grabs Seth and turns him around, Seth connects with a forearm to the nose. As Shark Boy staggers backward, Rollins grabs him and connects with a Ripcord Jumping Knee as the outlaw amongst the oysters goes staggering into the diagonally opposite corner. As Sharky hits the turnbuckle padding, he’s sent staggering a few steps forward as Rollins charges and connects with a Cannonball, causing Shark Boy to slink to a seated position. Rollins gets to his feet now and leaps, grabbing the rope to each side of him and stomping rapidly on the collarbone of his opponent several times before leaping backward onto his feet. Seth leans down and grabs Sharky, standing him up as he starts guiding him up the turnbuckle while he climbs. Once the two men are perched atop the high rent district, Rollins hooks the head and delivers a Superplex, the ring rattling upon impact.
Tom Phillips: Crashing like a tidal wave!
Mauro Ranallo: Another good pun.
Corey Graves: STOP IT!
Seth keeps Shark Boy hooked as he stands up and connects with the Falcon Arrow. Instead of going for the pin, Rollins lets go and backs off, pointing and laughing at his opponent. To his surprise, the toughest son of a fish starts getting up. Seth charges at him but this time Sharky connects with the Lou Thesz Press and starts hammering away on the head of the Intercontinental Champion with mounted punches. Shark Boy gets up as Seth rolls over onto his elbows and knees and starts climbing to his feet. The former leader of the collective known as C.U.N.T. steps forward as this is going on, bringing his leg back and then bringing it forward as he kicks Rollins square in the stomach as the former Tyler Black is sent onto his back again as Sharky dives on him again and returns to delivering mounted punches. As the man that calls himself Boy is opening up a tuna can of whoop bass, Seth covers up and blocks a few punches, bringing his leg up to connect with the finned one’s upper back. The costumed clam juice drinker falls to the side as Seth gets up and is now in control and the one throwing the mounted punches.
After a few connect, Rollins delivers a forearm to the bridge of the nose and then grabs the fin of his opponent, using it to lead Shark Boy to a vertical base as he drives his knee into the abdomen of the nautical shell raiser. Seth places Sharky’s head between his legs and applies a double underhook to his arms, no doubt setting up for a Pedigree, but suddenly Seth finds himself distracted by a commotion on the outside of the ring.
Tom Phillips: That’s Wardlow and Ciampa!
Ciampa has Roman’s arms restrained behind his back as Wardlow is teeing off with punches to the stomach. Seth lets go of his opponent and heads over to the ropes but as he does, he’s then spun around and kicked in the stomach as Shark Boy connects with the Chummer! Sharky goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Shark Boy!
Ciampa and Wardlow smile as they head up the ramp, Rollins sitting up and seething at them as Shark Boy gets on the turnbuckle and celebrates as Revolution continues.
The Revolution camera feed opens up in an undisclosed location which does not appear to be the backstage area of the arena, but it likely matters not. There we see Danhausen sat on a couch behind a table, preparing to address the viewing audience.
Danhausen
Alright, welcome back to Danhausen Unboxing Things, we’ve received various packages which we’ll take a closer look at. Let’s start with…
Not realizing he’s no longer exclusively on YouTube, a bag with a note attached to it is passed to him from off camera. After a quick pause and glance at the note, Danhausen realizes what’s now going on.
Danhausen
Oh but of course! We’re on Ultimate Wrestling television airwaves for this one. So welcome instead to Q&Ahausen with Danhausen. Many of you submitted questions for Danhausen, however because this is particular television spot has been paid for by Ethan Ultimate, Danhausen has only been allocated a set amount of time to answer a select number of them. Therefore he will be drawing the questions at random from this bag he has which would usually contains dollar bills. Until such a time as Danhausen takes full control of the television network then he has to play by their rules unfortunately. Nevertheless, let us begin with the first questionhausen.
Danhausen opens up the bag and draws out a handful of cards which contain questions for him, starting with the one at the very top of the pile.
“From: Greasy Von Baldstein – What does your diet consist of?”
Danhausen
Danhausen does not follow a strict regime like the humans he shares this world with do. He has a very unique ability to eat something like an entire box of Cap’n Crunch in one sitting and not gain any unwanted additional body mass from it. Candy is generally very good, but Danhausen still understands the importance of eating vegetable matter though, with the exception of those eggplant things, and also mushrooms, mushrooms are pure evil.
“From: JumpingJack32 – I generally find you to be quite entertaining, but I’m still struggling to get to grips with some of your schtick. Can you possibly explain it a bit better?”
Danhausen
What exactly is there to explain? Danhausen came from to Ultimate Wrestling from Someplace Far Away and he is very nice, very evil. He curses any who oppose him, and he does swear or appreciate hearing others swear because he does not enjoy living with the fear that he will be removed from television. Nothing has changed in this regard! What also hasn’t changed is Danhausen’s plan to become extremely famous, because with fame comes eternal riches, which is what Danhausen craves more than anything else. Danhausen appreciates that you find him to be entertaining because that’s exactly what he is, but he does question whether or not you are actually a fanhausen if you are questioning the way Danhausen operates…
“From: Madame Pompadour – Who are you most looking forward to throwing over the top rope next week?”
Danhausen
Whilst Danhausen will take great pleasure in eliminating everyone else from the Monarch Earthquake, he is particularly looking forward to gaining a measure of revenge against the grease weasel Seth Rollerblades after he beat Danhausen a couple of weeks ago. Danhausen also hopes to eliminate both the annoying Zayn Malik and the loser Davetista, because doing this will earn him more appreciation from the fanhausens, which in turn will encourage them to give him more of their hard-earned money.
“From: Moondog LeCavlier – Danhausen, you purport to be both ‘very nice’ and ‘very evil’. An interesting dichotomy, but one that hardly stands up to the scrutiny of my journalistic prowess. While the police have bene too busy sandybagging honest-to-god reporters from getting juicy intel to focus on their case work, my partner and I have been putting in long hours to do their job for them. How they’ve failed to count as man who only ever leaves his house/bat-infested dungeon in disguise as a prime suspect is baffling. Lucky for justice, we’re here to get to the bottom of this. So Danhausen, where were you the night that Samoa Joe was attempted-manslaughtered? And also on all the nights where somebody tried to kill CM Punk again?”
Danhausen
Well after Danhausen finished off the last of the holiday eggnog, he decided that he would go for a ride in his friend Davis’ automobile. His memory then gets a little hazy, but he does seem to recall smashing said automobile into something that resembled a human shaped island… What is this? A witch hunthausen? It’s nobody’s business where Danhausen was or wasn’t at this particular time! He’s already made clear in his first appearance on Ultimate Wrestling television that he was not to blame for what happened to Island Joseph that night, nor was he responsible for the more recent failed assassination attempts on Pepsi Man. Therefore Danhausen considers the casehausen closed and no longer wishes to entertain questioning on the matter!
“From: Arnold – Which in your opinion is the better toy line to collect? Marvel Legends or Marvel Select?”
Danhausen
Ah, we have a tough question at last! Danhausen appreciates the quality and articulation in both lines, however there seems to be more variety on offer with Marvel Legends toys, so Danhausen would probably veer more towards those. Danhausen also appreciates some of the Hot Toys offerings, but wishes they would focus more on characters that have the comic book design instead of their movie looks. That way you’ll get a fully detailed Drax The Destroyerhausen the way he was meant to be, and not just a miniaturized Davetista in makeup. Regardless though, make sure you send Danhausen your toys for unboxing. This is one of his favorite activities to partake in outside of the Ultimate Wrestling ring.
“From: BringBackHankScorpio – You’ve spoken on numerous occasions about wanting to acquire a castle, but do you have any aspirations to win and hold any of the championship belts?”
Danhausen
Whilst there is no opposition to the concept on Danhausen’s part, the castle is at the top of Danhausen’s wishlist because it serves to solidify his very famous, very evil standing in life. To do this, Danhausen has already targeted the Ultimate Wrestling Championship by declaring his entry into the Monarch Earthquake. Aside from that, an argument can also be made for Danhausen to challenge the winner of Seth Rollerblades versus Tommaso the Champ Engine for the Incontinent titlehausen, or maybe even be the next challenger to John PhD for the Television titlehausen, because everyone knows that Danhausen is the real champion of television. Better yet, Danhausen could campaign to Ethan Ultimate to bring back the Tag titlehausens, for he has many friends that would enjoy raining on Zayn Malik’s paradehausen. The only drawback is that Danhausen is uneasy with sharing too much of his fame and glory with them, which is why Danhausen chooses castles over alliances.
“From: Murph – Love that Danhausen! Who do you think is going to win the big game on Sunday?”
Danhausen
Danhausen can’t say he really cares, but he does wonder why there always seems to be so much hype and attention put into this particular occasion each year? Why exactly is there always such a big deal made about winning team of this sport getting given a bowl of soup? Anybody can get a bowl of soup if they desire no? Why is this soup considered so special? Does it tie your shoelacehausens for you? Danhausen is very confused by this whole concept…
“From: J.J. Jones – I didn’t earn the moniker as ‘The Godfather of Cutthroat Journalism’ by letting freaky little Satan mimes run around town un-accosted. You look and act like someone who got bit by a radioactive spider in their formative years probably would. So riddle me these, Danhausen (which, by the way, sounds like the name of an underground top secret eugenics program circa 1940) why are you so determined to kill the UWF Champion? Is it greed? Lust for power? Or do you just hate the way the world has come to look at you?”
Danhausen
Okay, what the hell is this? Danhausen said no more! How from a random draw of questions does Danhausen somehow get lumped with more accusations about his involvement in the plot to erase Pepsi Man? This is bogus! Well here’s your final answer J. Jonah. Jameson, if Danhausen really did have this kind of vendetta against Pepsi Man, then he would have ceased his conquest with King Edward last week and gone straight for him instead when he decided to pay a visit to the nearby ringside vicinity area. Danhausen had minimal quarrel with Pepsi Man up until this point, but if this is his way of declaring warhausen on Danhausen, then consider Danhausen more than up for the fight.
“From: NotBatman – Who is your dream opponent? Past or present?”
Danhausen
Danhausen has not given this a great deal of thought because he does not really buy into these kind of concept scenarios. That said, with a gun pointed to his head he will answer with Cold Steve, ideally in a brewhausen drinking contest. Danhausen actually rates his chances very highly in this situation and would advise everyone to bet their money on him so that when they win big, they can then give 80% of that directly to Danhausen as commission for his incredible entertainment service.
At this point, Danhausen grabs the bag and forcefully pushes it off to the side, indicating that he has answered the final question for the session.
Danhausen
Well that should just about do it, thank you to most of you for sending your questions in. Sorry Danhausen could not answer them all. He wishes that there were some he could have answered instead of others but it is what it is. Make sure you give Danhausen your full support for the Monarch Earthquake when it comes. Keep following Danhausen on all of the socials. Love that Danhausen, see you later!
As Danhausen can be seen tearing up the question cards that he just read, the camera feed fades to black and resumes elsewhere.
The titantron switches from the UWF Revolution graphic to a feed from backstage. The UWF Champion, CM Punk, is shown sitting alone in a room, staring straight down the barrel of the camera.
Punk: This is what you do, right Eddie? All alone by yourself in a dark room, painting the walls with every shade of self pity you can muster while you spill out your sob story for the whole world to hear - the same "woe is me" bullshit week after week with some empty promises sprinkled in just to keep 'em coming back.
But for how long, I wonder?
He lets the question hang in the air for a moment before continuing.
Punk: How long are you people going to let Eddie Kingston sell you wolf tickets, anyway? How many times does he have to assure you that "this time is the time" when all he ever does it lose when it counts? Oh, and don't let him fool you, this is anything new. Seth Rollins didn't crack the code. I didn't just break your favourite toy. No, Eddie Kingston has been dropping the ball for his entire life, or least as long as I've known him, which is pretty much the entirety of his miserable career.
Look it up. Any promotion he's ever worked for, he's gone gunning for the top dog and he has always - ALWAYS - failed. The only difference here is that its on the biggest scale possible for our sport. It's not that he isn't talented. It's not that he doesn't want it really, really bad. It's certainly not because of some big conspiracy to see him fail - I'm the one being victimized these days. Nah, when it comes to Eddie Kingston, the simple fact of the matter is that he just isn't good... enough.
He can't win a world championship because he isn't the type of wrestler than can beat world champions. And you know what Ric Flair likes to say...
Letting the fans fill in blank, Punk then carries on.
Punk: Frankly, nobody here can beat me. That's why someone's trying to kill me. That's why you've got thirty men, the best of today and yesterday, going out to compete in a match they're all secretly hoping they lose, because facing me at Wrestlemania is a death sentence. Since I put down the silver medal and set my sights on this UWF Championship, I've only got two marks against me on my record, both solely because Eddie Kingston cost me some wins.
He talks a lot about respect, about fighting the good fight, ya know, grinding until you finally achieve your goals... but the truth is that he's a piece of shit with no backbone, no moral fiber and now new ideas. The loser I beat six weeks ago is the same one I'll beat next weekend. Whatever Eddie's robbed me of, I'm coming back for tenfold. I'm going to... annihilate - now there's a cool word - I'm going to annihilate this idea that Eddie Kingston belongs in title matches in this organization. Two birds with one stone - I'm also going to punish anyone still riding the Mad King's bandwagon for having the audacity to bet on that bum against a sure thing.
Understand this - I'm not the Best in the World because I say so. I'm the Best in the World because I prove it every single time I step into that ring. I'm not one of these ridiculous, chickenshit cartoon villains like Seth Rollins who has to pad his resume with fiction. I'm not Dave Batista or Dolph Ziggler or any of those other has-beens in the Rumble who thinks they've got something left in the tank when they're actually running on empty. I'm not a flash-in-the-pan sideshow attraction like Danhausen or Sharkboy. I'm more dangerous than Ciampa and Orton and Danielson and Gable and you wanna know how I know? Because I already beat those guys. Eddie Kingston has nothing for me. None of them do. I wouldn't be surprised to find out they were all behind the murder attempts, because the whole UWF knows that I'm out of their league.
And all you're gonna get out of another match between Eddie Kingston and myself is a clinic in me being right again.
CM Punk stands up and walks out of the shot without another word. The feed cuts to black and Revolution continues elsewhere.
We head down to the ring where the #1 contender, Eddie Kingston is already in the ring pacing back and forth, waiting for his opponent.
The scene opens where the arena is shown as "Voices" by Rev Theory hits as Randy Orton comes out and he walks down the entrance ramp.
Tony Chimel: Walking down to the ring, From St Louis Missouri, weighing at 250 lbs...........The Viper Randy Orton!
VS 
DING DING DING
Right out the gate, Kingston comes in and starts swinging on Randy. Orton covers up as best as he can but Eddie isn't a trained boxer or an MMA fighter. His patterns are too erratic to counter and Orton has to cut off his offense with a knee to the gut. He tries to send him to the ropes but Eddie reverses and sends Orton running instead. Randy bounce off the ropes but runs right into a Running Back Elbow. Eddie drops down to the mat with him and just unloads with rights. Randy curls up and rolls all the way out of the ring.
Corey Graves: Look at this thug fighting dirty from the get go. This is a third generation star!
Tom Phillips: A third generation star who's been known to be incredibly violent.
Corey Graves: This is just a regular match Phillips. This isn't how a champion should represent a company.
Eddie rolls out of the ring and gives Orton chase. With his back turned to him, Orton is hit from behind with a lariat to the back of the head! Eddie starts kicking him while he's down up against the barricade. AJ Lee however comes over and gives Eddie a tap on his shoulder. Eddie turns around with his fist balled up but stops when he sees it's her. He tells her to back off and watch her man get his ass beat. She just stands there with her arms behind her back smiling at him. Eddie decides to ignore her and he turns around but it was enough time to give Orton a chance to recover and he punches Eddie in the gut before ramming him back first into the ring apron! If that wasn't enough, Orton grabs him and gives him a Back Suplex on the apron! Randy throws Eddie back into the ring and makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Eddie kicks out! Orton picks him up and brings him over to the corner where he smashes his face into the top turnbuckle over and over again. The ref has to pull him off and get in between the two, having words with Randy. While this is happening, AJ hops onto the apron and starts digging her claws into Eddie's eyes! She quickly hops off before she can be spotted and Eddie walks right into the waiting arms or Orton who scoops him up with a Powerslam! Rather than go for a pin, Randy just soaks in the boos from the crowd and figures he wants to dish out more punishment to the #1 contender. He stomps on Kingston's right arm before moving down to his ankle. He stomps on the next ankle and then the left hand on Eddie's. He then pulls Eddie up and has him in a front headlock. He brings him over to the ropes and throws his lower body out and sets him up for the Rope Hung DDT! Eddie however wiggles his feet free and sends Randy up and over the ropes!
Randy lands flat back on the mat on the outside, a loud thud heard as he smacks hard against it. Eddie rubs his eyes trying to check if they're both still there. He blinks a few times and figures he's ok before heading to the outside to grab Randy. He decides to give Orton a taste of his own medicine and delivers a Back Suplex onto the barricade! He then picks up Randy and tosses him back into the ring. Orton tries to get to his feet but only ends up putting himself in perfect position for a Lariat! He rolls over right away and attempts to get up but he's slow and groggy. This allows Eddie to grab him from behind, pulling both arms behind his back to give him a Tiger Suplex! He stays bridged for the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Orton kicks out! Eddie pulls him up right away and grabs him from the side, getting ready for a Saito Suplex. Randy however starts to give him some elbows to the head to break free from his grasp. These daze Eddie and so Randy whips him to the ropes. Eddie bounces off and runs right into a picture perfect Dropkick from Orton that takes him down. He gets back up and tries to throw a Lariat at Orton but Randy ducks it and takes his back, wrapping his arm around Eddie's head and pulling him over onto his back before dropping for the Backbreaker!
Tom Phillips: Randy Orton has perfected his move set over the years and it speaks volumes that everyone knows about his attacks, but they can't do anything to stop them.
Mauro Ranallo: People can and will almost always save themselves because they know what's coming but Orton always finds a way.
Tom Phillips: Speaking of, it looks like Randy may be looking to finish this one right here.
Orton drops to the mat and starts pounding his fists into it, yelling for Eddie to get to his feet. Eddie slowly starts to rise as The Viper slithers behind him, lying in wait. Eddie turns around and Randy pop up for the RKO but Eddie ends up grabbing his head and placing him in a Sleeper Hold! Orton starts throwing punches behind him but Eddie pops his hips and sends him flying with a Sleeper Suplex! Randy lands hard and bounces up to his knees from the impact. Eddie runs past him and comes back looking for the American D but Orton ducks it and Eddie goes sidling right past. He turns around and gets kicked in the gut and then Orton sends him through the ropes, pulling him back in just enough to hit the Rope Hung DDT! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Kingston kicks out at 2! Orton starts to lose it and rolls out of the ring. He lifts up the apron and starts digging around and pulls out a steel chair. He comes back into the ring with it and readies it as Kingston is getting to his feet. The ref is trying to tell him it'll be a DQ but he doesn't care. Kingston turns around and Orton goes to hit him in the head but the ref rips the chair out of his hands when he swings it back! Orton's caught without a weapon and Eddie delivers a Spinning Back Fist! Orton is stunned and Eddie knees him in the gut to make him fall to his knees. Kingston quickly rushes past hi, hitting the ropes and comes back with the American D! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Eddie Kingston!
Corey Graves: Huge assist to that dumb ref!
Mauro Ranallo: Eddie Kingston picks up some much needed momentum as we get closer to the Royal- wait a minute.
Kingston is getting his hand raised in the ring when CM Punk comes walking out onto the stage. The UWF Championship is over his shoulder and security is around him. He stares down Eddie and raises the title above his head. Eddie gets a grin on his face and nods, knowing it's only a matter of time before that's his. The two continue to stare down as the show comes to a close.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Zayn vs Cena - Evolution J
Shark Boy vs Rollins - Dresden
Batista vs Ziggler - Fauche
Kingston vs Orton - Danny
