Post by Danny on Jun 9, 2022 14:42:14 GMT -6
As the opening video finishes, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution 150! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Corey Graves: Hard to imagine that I've done 150 of these sitting next to you guys and even more next to Phillips over there.
Tom Phillips: I'm amazed you're still here.
Corey Graves: I am too but it helps when EC3 has such deep pockets.
Mauro Ranallo:Speaking of deep, the roster here on Revolution is stacked and there's no better proof than our King of the Ring Tournament tonight.
Tom Phillips: 12 men are looking to headline Summerslam against the UWF Champion. But who will that champion be?
Mauro Ranallo:That's right because Seth Rollins will do battle with none other than Sami Zayn.
Corey Graves: I like Seth, he's been a fine champion but Zayn's about to expose him and the entire UWF and I for one can't wait.
Mauro Ranallo:Well you won't have to wait long as we're opening up Revolution with a bang! The UWF Championship is on the line right now!
The camera cuts to ring announcer Tony Chimel standing in the middle in the ring with a mic. He begins the formalities of the first match of the night.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall (One fall!) with a thirty minute time limit... and is for the UWF Championship!
The funky beat of Walk The Moon's "Headphones" plays and the crowd starts to boo as it means the arrival of the current? World Tag Team Champion Sami Zayn. He has the title in his hands and dances with it on the stage. He ends up calming down a bit but still walks with some swagger down the ramp, swinging his belt around like he's got a big one.
Phillips: And here he is. The cockroach of the UWF.
Mauro: An unprofessional remark, but certainly apropos of the man Sami Zayn has become. For three straight years Sami Zayn has been on UWF television in one form or another. If he's not there, then his, uh, "protege," El Generico is. He has withstood all sorts of harrowing experiences, whether it be ladder matches, Aztec Warfare, or even Wargames, yet he keeps coming back. Some parts respectable, some parts unbearable.
Graves: You hit the nail right on the head when you say unprofessional, Mauro. All tact seems to go out the window when you're talking about the guy, and why? Because you can't see the vision? Because you're jealous of how long he's held onto that World Tag Team Championship? Or is it because he's telling the truth about EC3 holding him down, about Seth Rollins getting his sloppy seconds.
Sami slides into the ring and continues to dance around with his belt much to the chagrin of the paying audience. Sami walks over and makes sure to show it off to all the fans before preparing for the match.
...
Bright yellow spotlights begin to shine throughout the arena immediately garnering the attention of every fan in the building. The lights begin to twinkle and move throughout the arena before fixating the at top of the ramp and changing to a blue tint. The arena then goes dark as the music continues to blare loudly from the Speakers. Suddenly, large poles form a runway down to the ramp, and they instantly light on fire. The fire burns steadily as the camera fixates on the top of the ramp, waiting for the illustrious superstar to make his way out from the back to face the UWF Universe.
Mauro: The UWF Champion making the fans wait...
Without further adieu, The Visionary & UWF Champion, Seth Rollins steps out from behind the curtains with his arms extending outwards by his sides. The one and only Paul Heyman, bald head, and all, appears from the backstage area as well following Seth, rubbing his hands and wearing a self-approving look on his face as well. Heyman hands the championship over to Seth, who hoists it high in the sky above his head as the fans reign down with boos. Heyman then takes the belt and straps it around the waist of Seth as they continue down the rampway.
Mauro: The visionary has arrived. He holds the top prize in this company, and ever since winning it, he's seemed nigh impossible to beat. Isn't that right, Corey?
Graves: Yeah, yeah, listen. Great athlete. He's got a killer instinct that few have in this business and I respect that he'll do whatever it takes to succeed, but let's face it. In any other universe besides the screwed up one we live in, Sami Zayn would have been the one to beat CM Punk for that title at Wrestlemania
Phillips: Well, I'm not that big a fan either, but regardless of what you or I think, Seth Rollins is tried and true. We just saw him defend that title successfully against Shark Boy at Backlash. It really is Seth Rollins' world, and we're just living in it.
The fans show their disapproval for the duo by launching incredibly loud boo's in unison that would register on the Richter scale. Seth walks down the ramp, slowly and methodically, his theme music exiting the speakers and entering the atmosphere, making it seem as if a real-life God like figure has just entered everyone’s presence. Seth finally makes his way to the ring, steps up the stairs and enters the ring with his manager behind him. Seth Rollins stands in the middle of the ring with both of his hands out to the side, presenting himself as a mythical being in a sense. The fans react with an even louder negative reaction as he reminds of whom the holder is of the most prestigious championship in the company.
The two men stare lasers into each other from their opposing corners. The crowd lights dim as a spotlight lights up the ring and only the ring. Tony Chimel starts up the introductions.
Chimel: Introducing first, the challenger, hailing from Montreal Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 212 lbs, he is the Dynamic... SAMI... ZAYN!
Boos ring out as the challenger raises his hands in the air as if he were getting cheered. People don't like Sami, who knew?
Chimel: And introducing the champion, fighting out of Buffalo, Iowa, weighing in at 220 lbs, he is the 2022 ROYAL RUMBLE WINNER AND CURRENT UWF CHAMPION, SETH... ROLLINS!
Even more booes, which don't even seem to phase the champ. Terrible people all around, and yet even in the early going, people already seem to be picking sides, selectively cheering whichever wrestler they prefer. Seth Rollins reluctantly hands his belt over to the ref, who raises it into the air as a UWF Championship graphic plays. The lights come back up.
Phillips: We've got a lot of important people watching the UWF Championship match here tonight, most notably of which being this man.
It cuts to the front row, sitting out there amongst the fans is...
CM Punk. A loud, unanimous cheer breaks out amongst the fans, a stark contrast from the previous reactions, as he stands up and waves before sitting back down.
Mauro: Well speaking of the UWF Championship, here's the former champ in the flesh, CM Punk. And it seems like he's scouting out the competition, if you will!
Phillips: Indeed. He's so confident that he's going to go on and win the whole King of the Ring that the only variable to him is who he's gonna be facing to get that title back!
Graves: If you ask he, he's just leeching off the attention from two better, younger wrestlers. Both these guys have wins over him.
Mauro: But would they have the same success were they to find themselves in the ring with Punk again? That is the question.
VS 
DING DING DING!
Upon the ring of the bell there is nary a movement in the ring. Instead, the two competitors stare straight ahead at each other, attempting to feel each other out. Slowly, they circle around the ring, sizing each other up as a dueling chant of “Let’s go Rollins / Sami Zayn” chant starts up.
Mauro: Quite the high profile matchup we have here in the opening match of Revolution 150 tonight with two men fighting for our top title that, in many ways, can be considered mirror images of each other!
Phillips: You wouldn’t be wrong with that assertion. Both men were at a time beloved fan favorites, but through their actions have become some of the most despised in our business. Both have years, even decades of experience both in the UWF and on the independents.
Mauro: There’s just one thing that separates them, and it’s the belt they’re fighting for. Seth has held both the UWF and International Heavyweight Championships, but Sami hasn’t tasted world title gold. He needs to win the big one here tonight to cement his three year long straight run on this roster in the record books.
Sami raises a hand in the air, offering up a test of strength. Rollins seems rather hesitant, knowing his opponent’s tricks, but ends up taking it anyways. Zayn immediately throws a kick to the midsection, but the champ steps to the side, shaking his head as Sami smiles rather knowingly. This time Seth offers a hand, which his opponent shows similar apprehension towards. Eventually, he takes it, before taking the other in a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. The two men meet shoulder to shoulder, pushing against each other with all their might. Rollins gains the upper hand, muscling Zayn down to a knee and then rolling him sideways onto his shoulders. The ref counts the fall.
1!
No!
Sami gets his right shoulder up, but Seth forces it straight back down.
1!
No!
This time the left shoulder comes up, but is pressed back onto the mat in a similar fashion.
1!
2!
No!
Sami bridges out of the pin, earning a pop in a rare display of respect from the fans. Rollins, in frustration, uses a leg to push himself off the mat in an attempt to straddle his opponent, but the Great Liberator gets his legs up and pushes Seth back up to his feet, which likewise pulls Sami back up as well. He uses this momentum to jump up to the top rope before springboarding off into a beautifully executed arm drag that sends the champ across the ring.
Graves: Brilliant move by our future champ! Just a sheer display of excellence!
Rollins gets right back up and rushes Sami, but is sent out to the apron by the back of his head. The latter attempts a shoulder check to the midsection of the former, but eats a knee for his troubles. Just like that, Rollins vaults himself over the top rope and over Sami, rolling through in an attempted sunset flip, but Zayn sits out and hooks a leg!
1!
2!
Seth rolls him forward onto his shoulders!
1!
Zayn manages to roll all the way through onto his hands and knees, before pushing himself forward and using his shoulders to get Rollins into a jackknife pin!
1!
2...
Kick out!
Both champion and challenger are up in less than a second. They both throw dropkicks but neither find anything. Yet again they’re up to their feet, but only Zayn attempts a dropkick, which Rollins sidesteps. As the challenger drops to the mat, Seth finds an opening and hits the ropes, before rocketing straight into Zayn with a basement dropkick which elicits a pop!
Mauro: The technical prowess shown by these two earning the respect of the fans here, although it’s important to note that this is a matter of who fans hate less, not who fans love more.
Phillips: Exactly. You have to keep in mind that behind all the tricks, all the interference are two very proficient professional wrestlers.
Sami Zayn rolls out of the ring, checking his lip for blood. Then he turns to the announce desk, where Corey Graves is standing and giving a big thumbs up. He nods in approval and turns back to the ring, only to get blasted by a Tope Suicida that sends both of them careening over the announce desk.
Phillips: Oh my- you guys good?
Seth gets up slowly, keeping his eyes on the prize that is retaining his belt. He rolls his opponent back over the announce desk and gets up on top of it. At this point, he notices the rather favorable response from the fans and stands up straight, raising a fist in the air. Not pandering, more so asserting himself.
This momentary hesitation allows Zayn to get back to his feet and pull one of Rollins’ feet forward, causing him to crash spine-first into the announce desk covering, reducing a portion of it to splinters! He clenches his fists and falls to his knees, but the challenger brings him right back up and whips him into the steel stairs, shifting them several feet and causing a deafening thud to ring throughout the arena as the fans collectively wince from the impact and Heyman watches on in horror.
Phillips: Sami Zayn showing quite the aggressive streak here!
Graves: That’s exactly what you gotta do: stick on the champ. He plans to save the UWF Championship and damnit he’s doing a good job.
The Forever Tag Champ rolls his opponent back into the ring. As Seth attempts to push himself to his hands and knees, he’s caught by surprise by the full force of Sami’s body weight slamming into his spine in a Senton Atomico! He shoots the half and hooks a leg!
1!
2!
No!
A solid 2.5 count makes Sami to pull at his hair in frustration. Meanwhile, Rollins clutches at his back, clearly feeling the effects of the offense he just withstood. Zayn begins throwing hammer fists at the now-damaged lower back of the Demon Slayer. Soon after, he’s dragging him up by the hair. He whips Rollins into the ropes and catches him on the rebound, twirling him backfirst onto his knee with a Tilt-a-Whirl backbreaker!
Mauro: We can see here that Sami Zayn has made a target out of the back of the Champion.
Graves: A great strategy. A bad back means no core strength. That means no power moves. No Buckle Bomb, no Olympic Slam. Nothing.
As Seth lies prone on the mat, Zayn casually struts around him and makes his way towards the ropes, bringing out quite a bit of ire from the fans. Gracefully, he springboards off the ropes into a moonsault, but he’s spent too much time on theatrics. Seth flips onto his back and brings his knees directly into the chest of his adversary, causing him to yell out in pain! Both men get up slowly and painstakingly, but Sami makes the mistake of turning his back on the Architect, who hooks the arm of his opponent over his head looking for an Angle Slam!
Unfortunately, the back gives way, and Zayn barely lifts off the ground. The Canadian throws several hammer elbow shots down into his dome, and attempts to run the ropes, but Seth hangs onto the tights and pulls him back, bringing him up and over with a German Suplex! Then another one! Finally a third! He bridges after the third!
1!
His core muscles fail him yet again, and he lets go of the bridge. He hits himself in the back a few times, trying to get the blood flowing once again. Noticing that Sami is already starting to get his wits about him, he forgoes a second pin attempt and rolls out to the apron, gingerly pulling himself up. Seth calls Zayn back up to his feet, beckoning him with an arm. Then, he springboards off the ropes, directing a single knee straight between the eyes of the Quebecer. Noticing the oncoming blow, Sami manages to grab the knee and roll through with it, ending up on Seth’s back and twisting him like a pretzel with a gnarly Single Leg Boston Crab with a knee on the back!
Graves: Yet another great counter!
Phillips: You can see he’s specifically going after the back he’s worked on instead of the leg with how he’s kneeling on him. Seth’s gotta be in excruciating pain right now.
Seth remains in the hold for what seems like forever, clawing at the mat and screaming. He’s several feet away from the ropes, but he begins to crawl towards them. After 25 seconds or so of crawling, he explodes forward and grasps the bottom rope, falling limp. Sami, of course, utilizes the full four seconds allotted by the count, before getting directly up into the face of the referee, telling him to stop counting so fast.
The tag team champ takes a rather leisurely approach from here on out, pulling the UWF Champion up and dragging him to the corner before boosting him up and sitting him on the top rope. He does a sort of “game over” type motion with his hands before climbing up the turnbuckles, meeting him up there.
Mauro: I think he’s thinking Brainbustah!
Phillips: In a match like this you have to pull out all the stops!
Graves: All the stops? He hasn't even used one percent of his power!
Sami Zayn hooks an arm over his head, hoisting his opponent up into the air, but Seth begins kicking his legs, destabilizing him. This causes Sami Zayn to lose control, as Seth swings around with the arm still hooked, turning Zayn 180 degrees and hitting him with a superplex of his own!
Mauro: MAMA MIA WHAT A COUNTER!
That’s not all, as Seth rolls through and once again picks the Canadian up, dropping him with a Falcon Arrow! He hooks a leg!
1!
2!
...
3- NO!
Through sheer instinct, Sami Zayn bursts out of the pin before falling completely lifeless. Seth holds his temples in disbelief and looks to Paul Heyman on the outside for guidance, who of course is screaming to finish him. He decides to heed his manager’s advice and picks Zayn up, muscling him up into a powerbomb position. Despite the pain coursing through his body, Rollins pulls it off and begins running towards the buckle. However, Zayn manages to punch away at the forehead of the champion, causing the man to release him just short of the turnbuckles.
Sensing the urgency of his situation, Seth rushes towards Sami, who catches him mid-sprint, hooks a leg, and launches him over his head with an Exploder Suplex into the corner!
Seth rolls under the bottom rope before Zayn can capitalize on the attack, but Sami is right out after him on the other side of the ring post. Quickly he measures his target and gets a running start, diving through the turnbuckles and nailing a Tornado DDT on the outside!
Phillips: Seth just can’t seem to shake this guy off, he’s setting a blistering pace.
Graves: Go! Go! Go!
Zayn blows a kiss to CM Punk in the crowd, who in return just smirks and shakes his head, telling him to, “Focus on your opponent.” Sami rolls into the ring, but instead of pinning Rollins he decides to put him in the Koji Clutch!
Mauro: Sami Zayn’s bent on humiliating the UWF Champion here tonight by making him tap, not just beating him.
Phillips: It might come back to bite him though. Seth has already escaped one of his submissions.
Just as he did with the Single Leg Crab, Seth Rollins begins crawling towards the ropes, crying out in pain. As he begins to approach the safety of the border of the ring, a figure emerges from under the apron.
Phillips: Is that..?
Graves: It is! La Luchadora!
The masked sidekick to Sami Zayn and “El Generico” notices the submission and takes immediate action, grabbing the bottom rope and pulling it away from the desperate hands of Seth Rollins. The ref, of course, too focused on asking the question, misses this. Paul Heyman immediately begins to protest, bringing the referee’s attention to La Luchadora who begins to argue with him in a suspiciously Irish accent. With this whole situation unfolding, Seth reaches the ropes, but now the referee is too distracted to call the rope break!
Mauro: Someone has to stop this immediately, this match is breaking down fast!
Phillips: Wait hold on-
With the official distracted, Rollins has no choice but to employ a few dirty tactics of his own. Moving his hand away from the ropes, he feels around for the face of Sami Zayn before viciously clawing at the eyes. Zayn immediately lets go of the hold and pries Seth’s fingers from his face. Meanwhile, the ref gestures to the two on the outside, does that signature hand twirl, and orders them to get the hell outta dodge! The fans erupt, ready to finally get a one on one match.
Phillips: This is it! No more interference, no more cheating, we are about to see a one on one wrestling match as god intended!
Graves: Wow. Glad to know that the ref hates it when friends come out to support each other, I guess.
As the outside interferers vacate the premises, the two combatants are back up once more, although one is clearly having difficulties seeing. Sami blindly swings at the champ, but Seth ducks under and rolls him up with a schoolboy. Instead of hanging on for the pin though, he keeps the momentum going and sends Sami onto his knees before connecting flush with the chin with a kick! Avada Kedavra! But wait, there’s more! He gets a running start before landing a beautiful Standing Shooting Star! He hooks the leg!
1!
2!
...
3- NO!
The Architect pleads with the referee, questioning the count only to be met by the referee’s “two.” He leans back, arms over his face in despair. Then, he looks up at the top turnbuckle and, getting an idea, begins to get back up again. He grabs Sami by the arms, pulling him towards the corner before scaling the ropes. No looking back at his fallen opponent, only feeling. With his back to the Liberator, he soars, looking to nail him with a Phoenix Splash, but he only eats a faceful of canvas! Seth pulls himself up but is hooked up and then dropped straight back down with a Blue Thunder Bomb!
1!
Sami lets go of the cover, wagging his finger as if to say not yet.
Mauro: Oh come on, what now?
Graves: He’s dead to rights and Sami’s just having fun now. Like a cat playing with its prey. Except the cat’s way more vicious.
He slowly gets up and saunters over to the ropes right next to where Punk is sitting in the first row. Cockily, he shouts, “Ay, watch this. I’m about to do what you couldn’t.” CM Punk just shrugs it off. Straight back to the action, he turns back to Seth, who has by now gotten up in the opposite corner. He rushes him, surely thinking Helluva Kick!
No! Seth moves his head to the side, leaving Zayn’s leg over his shoulder. Out of nowhere, Seth hoists him up into a powerbomb and goes corner to corner, propelling the red head straight into the turnbuckles which audibly clank from the contact! Zayn stumbles out of the corner straight into Rollins’ waiting arms and is dropped straight down to the canvas with an Olympic Slam! The momentum of the move causes Sami to roll onto his stomach. Perfect positioning. Seth kips up to his feet, turns around, and plants a foot on the back of Zayn’s head, spiking him head first into the canvas with a Curb Stomp! He makes the cover!
1!
2!
3!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND STIIILLLL UWF CHAMPION, SETH ROLLINS!
Seth lies on his side, nursing his newly injured back as the fans erupt. It’s a mixed reaction, not entirely cheers or booes. What is for certain is that it is loud for the still-reigning champ. The ref gets the title from ringside and presents it to Rollins, which is enough to get him back on his feet with his hands raised. The commentators begin to speaks as replays start up.
Mauro: What a bout from these two men.
Phillips: It was a complicated one to say the very least. Both Rollins and Zayn pulled out all the stops, in the realms of both legal and illegal in the pursuit of one goal: to prove that they’re the best.
Graves: And the best was gonna be Zayn up until that old timer Punk decided to sit out here and distract him. But whatever, I guess Seth as champion is better than nothing.
Mauro: Yes, ultimately it was the presence of CM Punk at ringside and Sami’s inability to let things go that got under his skin and eventually costed him that title. And you get the feeling that things aren’t quite over yet between Punk and Zayn.
As he says this the camera cuts to Zayn, staring straight at the Second City Saint with an unmatched look of disdain. Seth Rollins has already climbed the turnbuckle and done all that celebration jazz before leaving with Heyman and Roman, leaving Sami alone in the ring. La Luchadora and El Generico roll in and attempt to offer some kind of solace. But that's not enough. Sami just stares at Punk, who has by now gotten up from his seat in the front row and walked out of there
Mauro: Stay with us, folks, this isn’t gonna be the last barnburner of the night.
Graves: Yup. We've got four, count 'em, FOUR triple threat qualifying matches later on tonight and you won't wanna miss them.
Revolution rolls on.
Shark Boy: Since Backlash a lot of folks have been askin' ol' Shark Boy, 'how does it feel?'.. 'how does it feel to come so close to the UWF Championship?'. Well to be perfectly honest with ya it kinda feels like ol' Shark Boy's been shot. To be so close only to fall at the final hurdle?, yeah it sucks there's no sugarcoatin' from ol' Shark Boy, it sucks to high hell. Seth Rollins is a hell of a competitor no doubt about it but he used every under handed tactic in the book and he tried to take off the mask... in the end he got the pin and here's ol Shark Boy beltless and down. But let me tell ya somethin', if you think that means that Shark Boy is gon' mope, piss and complain then you're wrong - Shark Boy's down but he ain't out, not by a long shot - EH-EH!
Shark Boy stops to compose himself before sauntering on.
See Shark Boy will meet Seth Rollins down the road at some point there's no doubt about that, there's a big ol' can of bass whip waitin' for that slimy lil' bastard but right now this shark has bigger fish to fry, namely the King of The Ring. See there's gon be 12 cats competin' to be crowned the new King of the UWF. Now Shark Boy has his view on monarchic systems and their viability in a democratic nation - but that's neither here nor there, what we're talkin' about right here is a chance to put your name in the annals of the UWF with one of the most prestigious prizes in the game. See Shark Boy ain't gon' be seen wearin' no frilly gowns or sittin' on no damn gold throne but does Shark Boy want to be the King of The Ring?, well shell yeah he does. If ever there was a route back to the title shot it's this and not only that it's a chance for ol' Shark Boy to cement his legacy here in the UWF and make his mark truly in this Era of the Revolution.
Shark Boy stops again this time to look at the camera.
Tonight Shark Boy's steppin' into the ring with two of the most decorated names in this company's history - Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose. Now Randy Orton, he's a sadistic son of a fish no doubt about it - he's the Television Champion, a belt Shark Boy's held before... although he doesn't remember much of it... and he's been layin' waste to all comers. He's sick, he'll go to the ends of the earth to win but Randy Orton should know that a Viper ain't much good in the Shark's deep blue sea and tonight he's swimmin' with the baddest shark since Jaws. And then there's Dean Ambrose. What can be said about Dean Ambrose that ain't already been said.... when it comes to UWF?, he's the GOAT, multi-time World Champion, every accolade in the book and he and Shark Boy have shared many a locker room back in the day and let me tell ya, he can have a cold Sharkweiser with Shark Boy any time. But he's came back from a damn coma, he's changed, he's more unhinged than ever before and all he wants to do is fight. Well Dean if ya wanna fight, you're lookin' right now at the man who'll give it to ya any time, any place. Tonight Shark Boy steps into the ring with two tough sons of fishes but tonight is about Shark Boy gettin' back on track, back in the win column and provin' without a shadow of a doubt that Shark Boy is the toughest son of a fish in the UWF today and the next King of The Ring... and THAT'S THE FISHIN' LIIIIIINE..... 'COS SHARK BOY SAID SO!
The feed flashes the UWF graphic before going to some static and then we find ourselves in a backroom of the arena somewhere to be greeted by the bearded mug of none other than Dean Ambrose.
DEAN AMBROSE
I know what you're thinking and honestly, I don't blame you. "Here's another washed-up has-been about to trot out some platitudes about how their losing streak is just a slump and they're going to get back on that horse and ride it straight to the world championship." "This'll be skippable." "Guess I should go get another beer." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do whatever it is you wanna do but let me tell you one thing first: In six months' time when I'm back at the top of the proverbial mountain, the figurative ruler of the roost, folks are gonna point back to this moment and say, "You know what? That was it. That was the moment when the man remade himself." Now, I've never been much for words but let me tell ya', I've been thinking about this one for a while now, cooking this up in the back of my skull and now I'm ready to let it rip. This is my Pipebomb, my Austin 3:16, my Hard Times. This is Hogan coming out as the third man. Just get ready, okay?
Ambrose takes a second. He closes his eyes. He does a woo-sah, lets out a deep exhale. Then he looks back at the camera and laughs.
You fuckin' mark. What, did you think I was going to give you anything remotely resembling the satisfaction?
He makes a fart noise.
Nah, it's just me. Same ol' same ol' Dean Ambrose. The baddest sonuvabitch this side of the dirt. Gone six years and just as surly. Shark Boy had it right when he tried to verbally cut me up last week: I'm even more miserable than I was the day Kevin Steen put me in a coma. But you know what? Miserable is good for business. Tonight, I've got two men in that UWF ring in a triple threat. All bets are off. No holds are barred. And we all know what the announcers and every opponent I face are just dying to call me. "Lunatic." Well, tonight? Yeah, you're gonna see just what real lunacy looks like.
He stands and stalks out of frame. The feed then moves along.
From whatever the cameras are currently showing the fans, there is a quick fade to black, one that nearly seems accidental, before a distinct voice can be heard.
”My name is Trevor Lee, and I approve of this message.”
As soon as this opening message is delivered, the scene fades in. Trevor Lee is seen sitting in a rather extravagant reclining chair, his legs propped upwards to showcase the rich mahogany shade to his current pair of dress shoes, leading up to a typical pair of deep gray dress slacks. This then brings the view upwards further, as Lee is seen wearing a royal blue shirt which currently is tucked in, alongside a black blazer to fit further with the darkened color scheme. Capping off this attire is perhaps the weirdest, yet distinctly most Trevor Lee clothing piece, as he of course is wearing his black bowler hat. On his face rests the same smile he has worn throughout his entire UWF career, and while some call it unsettling, it’s clear Trevor is all too happy to keep up this appearance.
Trevor Lee: “Oh, howdy there folks. My name is Trevor Lee, an’ with this here lil’ message a’ mine bein’ able to be broadcast di-rect-ly to your television screens, I’m here to say that after the events of this past Sunday, I’m feelin’ great. Just peachy, even. For ya’ see, last Sunday night at the premier U-Dubya-Eff live pay-per-view event known as Backlash, I managed to put away that treacherous trio consisten’ of Dean Ambrose, John Cena, and Mike Mizanin to become the number one contender to the U-Dubya-Eff Television Championship. Now, for all y’all who paid their dues to watch the pay-per-view, I would like to apologize to ya’ first and foremost, ‘cause I’m aboutta’ cover some details that y’all already know about. However, for those of ya’ who didn’t get the chance to watch Backlash, I’m gonna’ save ya’ some time and trouble by tellin’ ya’ just who won that Television Title match. Ya’ see folks, it was Randy Orton who managed to successfully retain in their mano a mano affair, so now your lil’ ol’ mayor of that small town called Harlan out in the eastern hills of Kentucky has found himself in quite a sticky wicket.”
Chuckling, Trevor stops reclining in his seat.
Trevor Lee: ”Ya’ see, I ain’t gonna lie to these good people who been watchin’ the U-Dubya-Eff. I may be a lot of things: a bit young, a bit naive, a bit too trustin’ of some other people, but as sure as the sky is blue and the sun rises in the East, I know for a fact that I ain’t no crooked, backstabbin’, money-grubbin’, lyin’, cheatin’, stealin’, dirty no-good scoundrel like some o’ the other people I’ve met in my lifetime. I am a man of the truth, the whole truth, and nothin’ but the truth. It’s how I was raised by mama Lee, an’ I sure as heck ain’t gonna go breakin’ her heart by changin’ my ways now!”
Finding himself all worked up on the edge of his seat from this mini-rant of his, Lee takes a deep breath to calm down, and fixes his posture.
Trevor Lee: ”I’m sorry about that. I been tryin’ to keep my temper under control for these past few weeks that y’all have seen me on your television screens, so if y’all ever catch me slippin’ like that again, please understan’ it ain’t any of y’all’s faults. It’s just that…”
Trevor Lee sighs, shaking his head briefly.
Trevor Lee: ”The truth is, folks, I wasn’t exactly hopin’ for this match to be the one I got. I mean, sure I’m here to have some fun an’ to enjoy myself an’ all…but if I was a bettin’ man - an’ I used to dabble in some gamblin’ back before my time in the mayor’s office, folks, it can be a serious problem - I’d put everythin’ I own an’ then some onto the probability that I could beat Hornswoggle a heckuva lot faster than Randy Orton. But a’ course, ya’ can’t get everythin’ ya’ want in life exactly when ya’ want it, can ya’? So now here I am, havin’ to stare down the barrel of a livin’ breathin’ .44 in the form of The Apex Predator of the U-Dubya-Eff, Randy Orton.”
Standing up from his chair, the camera view follows him upwards as he begins pacing around this study of his.
Trevor Lee: ”Now Randy, I may be comin’ across like a coward when I say this, but please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m just tryin’ to tell ya’ the truth, an’ the truth is…I’m a bit afraid to step into the ring with ya’, Randy. I mean, anyone who has seen your work in the ring would know that ya’ can be…intense. Ya’ can get a bit cross with others at times, an’ I really don’t wanna wind up like some of the other horror shows I’ve heard aroun’ these parts, their careers gettin’ cut short an’ all…”
Despite Lee’s words, a small, almost unnoticeable smirk makes its way onto his face as he stops in place, staring vacantly at the camera.
Trevor Lee: ”Ya’ know, all those stories about peoples’ bones gettin’ broken. Achilles tendons an’ biceps bein’ sliced like deli meats at the local butchery, renderin’ people’s arms and legs completely unusable. Fingers goin’ snap crackle an’ pop like those Rice Krispies mascots say. People’s backs bein’ destroyed to the point of potential paralysis from the waist down…people gettin’ put in comas an’ havin’ their brains be shut down, makin’ them about as cognitive as one of the vegetables that are grown in the gardens that people have in their backyards…people havin’ their guts spilled out onto the mat both figuratively an’ literally after all the stabbin’ and slashin’ that the psychopaths of the world have done, just for their own form of fun or for a chance at climbin’ to the top of the mountain…”
Finally, after saying this in his calm demeanor, Trevor shakes himself out of the trance-like state, and his beaming grin grows into place once more.
Trevor Lee: ”Ah, I’m sorry ‘bout that folks…spaced out a bit there. Now, where was I…? Ah, right, I was talkin’ ‘bout Mista’ Orton an’ how I’m gonna be squarin’ up with him for that there Television Title of his. Now, the point I was tryin’ to make before I…spaced out there, if I got my bearins’ correct, was that I don’t want this lil’ scuffle between us to spiral out of control. I don’t want us two to go to war over some championship…nah, nah nah nah nah nah, nah mista’ Orton…all lil’ ol’ Trevor Lee wants is a plain ol’ ‘rasslin matchup. You an’ me, mano a mano, no distractions, no unnecessary violence, just the two of us fightin’ to prove who is better. An’ if that means that I shoot my shot against ya’ an’ wind up on the losin’ end? Well, it means I got no excuses to spout out like some other so-called ‘rasslers aroun’ here, it means I gotta take my loss like a man an’ work my way back up to that there Television Title.”
Taking a moment, Lee takes a breath before looking back at the camera with a neutralized face.
Trevor Lee: ”Well Randy, what’s it gonna be? Are you willin’ to put those third generation skills of yours to the test against some unknown commodity like myself? Or are you gonna hafta’ use some big nasty weapons to put me away, an’ give me an excuse to come right back for ya’ somewhere down the road?”
With the question posed, Lee’s stare at the cameras continues until it cuts elsewhere…
Tony Chimel: The following three man contest is scheduled for one fall and is a King of the Ring tournament opening round match, introducing first….
The scene opens where the arena is shown as "Voices" by Rev Theory hits as Randy Orton comes out and he walks down the entrance ramp.
Tony Chimel: Walking down to the ring, From St Louis Missouri, weighing at 250 lbs...........The Viper Randy Orton!
Tony Chimel: And his opponents, first….
GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
*CRASH*
The crowd erupt as the glass shatters and the guitar laden sounds of The Toadies' 'I Come From The Water' blare over the PA system. Shark Boy wastes little time in marching out from behind the curtain full of piss and vinegar, he's mouthing off to everyone and anyone in his immediate path. The crowd at ringside reach at Shark Boy but he maintains his focus on the ring stomping his way down the ramp continuing to mouth off the entire way down the ramp towards ringside.
Tony Chimmel: Introducing, from the Deep Blue Sea, weighing in at 205 pounds... SHARK BOY!
Shark Boy stomps up the steps and through the ropes into the ring, he makes a b-line for the corner where he heads to the top rope and throws out the fin-salute to the crowd before throwing his two fists high into the air for all the Shark-o-holics out there. Shark Boy repeats this at the three other corners before taking off his vest and waiting for the bell to sound.
Tony Chimel: And their opponent…
"My Own Summer (Shove It)" hits the arena PA and the fans hit their feet. While the man whom this theme represents was always a divisive figure, his return to the UWF ring is hotly anticipated. The cameras key in on the stage as Ambrose's 'tron plays, but he's not there. After a few long, awkward moments, the cameras eventually find Ambrose walking through the crowd.
Tony Chimel: From Cincinnati, Ohio, weighing 224 pounds, Dean AMBROSE!
Ambrose hops the barricade and enters the ring, then pulls off his vest and tosses it to the crowd. He performs some pre-match stretches ahead of the match.
VS 
VS 
As the referee checks that all three men are ready and the bell rings, Ambrose and Orton look at each other and then look at Shark Boy, they nod and the pair charge the recent title contender, laying boots onto him in the corner, once it seems Sharky is neutralised for now, Orton, being the snake he is immediately attempts an RKO on Ambrose who pushes him off and charges him with a running Lariat, he turns to see a recovering Shark Boy in the corner and charges him for a corner clothesline but Shark Boy gets out the way and as Ambrose hits the turnbuckle and rebounds out, he’s met by a Thesz Press from Shark Boy who reigns down the fists onto the Lunatic Fringe, Ambrose covering up the best he can. Getting up Shark Boy gestures to the crowd for a Chummer but Orton comes behind and hits a Backbreaker onto Shark Boy, the Viper being left standing.
Mauro Ranallo: Ladies and Gentlemen, if you’re just joining us, well you’ve missed the opening moments of a triple threat contest that i’m sure will have something for everyone.
Tom Phillips: That’s right Mauro, things kicking off to a fast start here as we saw Orton and Ambrose make an alliance of sorts to take out Shark Boy but Orton of course turned on Ambrose quickly and is now the man standing.
Corey Graves: Orton is one the most cerebral wrestlers in our industry, he knows how to get into peoples heads and manipulate them. Smartly he knew Shark Boy would be a threat and he convinced Ambrose to team up and take advantage, my hats off to him.
Back in the ring, Orton stands over Shark Boy, Orton begins to stomp on Shark Boys outstretched arm, probably trying to stop him from being able to set up the Chummer correctly, Orton makes his way round Shark Boy, stomping on the former title contenders limbs. As Orton gets to the head to deliver the knee drop he is met by a thunderous steel chair shot to the head from Ambrose who has that signature deranged look in his eyes. As Orton falls to the mat, Ambrose strikes again with the chair, Ambrose grabs Ortons legs and locks in a Cloverleaf, wrenching back on the back of Orton. As Ambrose is working the legs, Shark Boy recovers and runs off the ropes, hitting a Clothesline to the back of Ambrose, knocking the lunatic down. Shark Boy then rolls over Orton for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: These three men out to destroy each other, especially Ambrose who has introduced a steel chair to the match, using it with sadistic force against Orton.
Tom Phillips: None of these men are anything to be messed with but when Ambrose gets going, you better watch out as he’s out for blood, Shark Boy smelling that blood however and tries to steal the cover here.
Corey Graves: Ambrose should be chastised for bringing that chair in, its gives him a completely unfair advantage and before either of you say anything I know this match is No DQ but we shouldn’t be congratulating this blatant cheating.
1…2…Orton kicks out.
Orton kicks out, clearly still feeling it in his legs as he has to use all his upper body strength to push off Shark Boy who immediately goes into a Surfboard Stretch onto Orton, twisting his back and hips as he does, the disadvantage of Orton being hyper flexible is that Shark Boy can twist a lot, eventually Orton manages to get a foot planted and begins to push up through the pain and gets an arm free, hitting elbows onto Shark Boy before pushing him off into the ropes and going for a rebound powerslam but Shark Boy scouts it and holds onto the ropes, Orton charges and goes for a Clothesline but is met by an elbow from Shark Boy who attempts a running crossbody but is met by that vintage Snap Powerslam, before Orton can go for a cover however, Ambrose comes behind and locks in a rear naked choke, Orton begins to fade but grabs a rope with a finger, the referee breaking up the submission hold. Orton throws Ambrose while he's distracted by the referee and goes for a corner splash but Ambrose gets out the way, hits corner elbows and then a bulldog onto Orton for another cover attempt.
Mauro Ranallo: MAMA MIA THE FISTS ARE FLYING AND THE VETERAN INSTINCTS COMING INTO PLAY HERE GENTLEMEN.
Tom Phillips: Thats right these three man have obviously been scouting each others moves and it is showing. Shark Boy scouting that Powerslam and Orton making sure he was near the ropes but it wasn’t enough and he finds himself on the end of another cover attempt.
Corey Graves: Listen there's a reason Orton is TV Champion, he always has a plan in that head of his and we’re about to see it come to fruition.
1…2…Shark Boy breaks it up.
Shark Boy comes diving in to break up the pinfall, Ambrose gets to his feet and the pair get into each others faces. The pair are trash talking and Ambrose goes for the first strike as Shark Boy returns it, the two breaking into a brawl, fists and elbows flying as the crowd goes mental for the pair. Ambrose gets the other hand and throws Shark Boy off the ropes, attempting a running crossbody but Shark Boy rolls through and attempts a Thesz Press on a now standing Orton who lifts Shark Boy over his shoulder onto the apron and hits him in the gut and drags him through the ropes to hit the Vintage DDT. Before Orton can go for a cover, Ambrose comes back with a running Larita but Orton hoists him onto the apron and hits a Vintage DDT onto Ambrose as well, Orton covers Ambrose.
Mauro Ranallo: Seems Orton has gained the control of this match that you spoke about Corey, he’s hit two of those Vintage draping DDT’s and is the only man left standing.
Tom Phillips: Maybe if this commentary stuff doesn’t work out Corey you can get a job as a fortune teller, people will actually pay to listen to your crap then.
Corey Graves: Phillips the only future I see for you right now is your pink slip pal, Orton is on top as I predicted and in a few moments you will see the man going through to the next round of King of the Ring.
1..2…Ambrose kicks out.
Orton can’t believe it, he pushes Ambrose to the side and goes for Shark Boy.
1…2…Shark Boy kicks out.
Orton begins raging at the referee, demanding it was a three count. Shark Boy gets back to his feet and turns him round into a Chummer attempt but Orton pushes him off into Ambrose, who hits a Snap DDT onto Shark Boy who rolls to the apron, Ambrose beats his chest in victory and turns round into an RKO attempt from Orton but Ambrose pushes him off into the ropes and when Orton comes back he hits him with a Piledriver, dropping Orton on his head. Ambrose measures him for the No Hitter but as he lifts Orton up into the Suplex, Orton reverses into an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE. Ambrose drops and Orton shakes his head violently but Shark Boy climbs the top rope and hits the Dead Sea Drop on Orton and covers Orton.
1….2….3…
Tony Chimel: YOUR WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND ADVANCING IN KING OF THE RING, SHARK BOY.
Mauro Ranallo: Shark Boy getting the win there in the end, I guess you were right Corey we did see the man who would win this match in these next few moments, just not the guy who you were expecting I presume.
Tony Phillips: Listen all three of these men fought hard and while Corey’s second prediction didn’t come to fruition, Shark Boy showed once again why he is a top contender here in the UWF.
Corey Graves: You know Phillips, maybe you’re right, Shark Boy fought and got the win tonight and we’ll need to see how far he goes in this tournament.
The camera cuts back to Shark Boy, celebrating on the top turnbuckle, being thrown some Clam Juices as he knocks them back, Ambrose is on the outside, shaking his head in anger. He leaves through the crowd. Orton is still on the mat, shaking his head in disappointment as we cut once more to a celebrating Shark Boy.
We cut to backstage at Backlash and Homicide is shown sitting on the couch upset and Dan Lambert comes in.
Dan Lambert: Focus… Focus…. Focus. What did I tell you about focus? You weren’t focused
and what happened? I’ll tell you what happened your 15 pounds lighter. Where is the intercontinental title? You forgot it was a triple threat match. It wasn’t one on one, and you didn’t pay attention what did Ciampa do? He STEALS it from you. You should have the belt. You should be the Intercontinental Champion.
Though you lost focus. Instead of doing all those moves to Nakamura, you could have just attacked Ciampa and taken him out and then finished off Nakamura and you didn’t. Now here we are. Here with no gold. We going to be running a lot tonight I’m telling you.
A knock on the door is heard
Dan Lambert: Come on in.
The UWF intern that they kicked out earlier comes in.
UWF Intern: Oh Homicide, and Dan Lambert nice to see you again. S-s-s-Sorry about the loss but I’m here to give y-y-y-you this.
The Intern hands a letter and Dan Lambert opens it up he has a huge smile on his face.
Dan Lambert: Oh Homicide we are going to be running but with a new purpose.
Dan hands the letter to the dejected Homicide and Homicide’s face of grim turns into a smile and Dan starts to laugh.
Dan Lambert: Isn’t this great Homicide? We get to be in the King of the Ring. I mean did you see your opponents. Theory, and Danhausen. Hey, you know what that Danhausen has? He has that primetime medal. Pinning him gives you an in and a backup plan if we don’t win this thing. Think about it El Rey Homicide. The king of the ring. That right there is our in. Homicide we are good but you gotta remain focused.
Homicide: Focus… Yeah, I’m focused. Focused on winning this tournament but also getting that Intercontinental championship. Dan, I am obsessed. I want that belt.
Dan Lambert: Homicide I know you do but you got to focus on the King of the Ring right now. Winning is better than any title.
Homicide: I know man I win this but I also go on and take Goofy's title. There is no way that man is better than me. I am the better man I know. But man what’s with these ABC matches. When am I going to beat these dudes up one on one?
Dan Lambert: See Homicide you need to gain back the focus. The Intercontinental Championship. I’m sorry the ship has kind of sailed.
Homicide: What ya mean by that? Knowing EC3 Goofy might be in this tourney too.
Dan Lambert: I know Homicide but that ship of you winning it has sailed.
Homicide stands up and he looks at Dan
Dan Lambert: I know you standing up to me. I know you’re frustrated but Homicide we have a golden opportunity here. I know deep down inside you know what is more important what were you telling Ciampa before?
Homicide: Don’t look back.
Dan Lambert: Exactly. So why are we looking back? We look forward.
Homicide: You're right Dan. Look I always missed out on these tournaments. The last one I was in was a tag team tournament and I didn’t even make it far. So I’m excited to be in this. The King of the Ring is an important thing in the UWF history. Winners end up winning my main goal. I just don’t like that Goofy thinks he is better than me but you're right Dan. We gonna remain focused on this the king of the ring. We going to go out and train, and we gonna win this whole shit.
Most of these dudes look at the King of the Ring as a means to an end but for me, winning the King of the Ring means I am the best in this ring. The King holds some respect and power in this company. No matter the result afterward you are still the king until the next year. So you know what it time to look forward to. I still want to beat Goofy, and you right Dan we will focus on what’s his face?
Dan Lambert: Danhausen.
Homicide: Yeah him and his primetime medal. We will get that man pinned 1..2..3... And I promise you Dan I ain’t gonna be stupid like I did with this ABC match tonight, and go on to beat up both men where no one can steal this away from me.
Dan Lambert: Exactly and we’re not even going to think about if you lose. Because you’re not losing. So let’s get to training get yourself in shape, and let’s become El Rey Homicide.
Homicide: I like that shit.
Homicide and Dan leave as the intern stands there and the scene fades aways
Following a commercial for something that appears to resemble Lilt but isn’t actually Lilt, the camera feed opens up with a zoomed focus on the UWF Prime Time Medal. As the camera slowly starts to zoom back, we see Danhausen holding said medal with a massive grin on his face.
Danhausen
Ahahahaha! Behold the spoils of Danhausen’s victory at Backslash! Yes Danhausen successfully conquered the foolish Sledge and took away his precious Cryme Tyme Medal. Now Danhausen holds one of the key cardhausens which will dictate how the next stage of the Ultimate Wrestling game will be played. This is a significant achievement for Danhausen, and one that he cherishes with all his hearthausen, particularly when taking into consideration just how much unnecessary emotional trauma Sledge put him through in the weeks leading up to the monumental crowning moment.
Some cheers can be heard in the background from those present in the arena that are watching the segment on the big screen as Danhausen turns his attention towards the events of this evenings show.
Danhausen
But for now, the Cryme Tyme Medal must be put on a backburner of some sort, because tonight the journey begins towards an arguably even greater prize, the title of Ultimate Wrestling Sovereign Ruler! Danhausen would very much like to claim this honor as well if he can, but he knows that in order to do so he must vanquish a number of other unworthy challengers first, starting with the Texas Relativity being and the resident Death Man. Danhausen has not had any previous dealings with either of these entities, but he knows and understands that they are indeed a threat to him and his quest for Sovereign Rulership.
Danhausen takes a moment to pause and recompose ahead of another big opportunity for him.
Danhausen
Not only that, but seeing as this is of course the historic 15000th Ultimate Wrestling episode, therein lies the incentivehausen for everyone to up their game and be part of something memorable. Danhausen thinks this way also, and you’ll see that tonight when he goes out there and shows up two losers who aren’t fit to lace his shiny boothausens. And when Danhausen does topple them and goes on to do the same to all the others that stand in his way, he will celebrate becoming the new Ultimate Wrestling Sovereign Ruler by throwing one of the biggest parties that time and space has ever seen, and all the fanhausens will be invited. But until then, Love That Danhausen! Ciao for now!
One final cheer rings out for Danhausen as he does a quick three finger salute to the camera before it cuts away to another part of the building for the show to continue.
The titantron switches from the UWF graphic to a live feed from backstage, where the camera is just catching up to CM Punk as he heads down the hall. Already in his ring gear with his wrists taped and boots tied, the Second City Saint is ready for action. He catches the crew in his peripherals and looks over his shoulder to address them.
Punk: Yeah I actually asked to not do an interview segment tonight so if you guys just wanna...
The Straight Edge Superstar stops in his tracks before finishing his thought. He sighs and turns around, begrudgingly taking a moment to talk straight to the camera.
Punk: I had it in my head that I was gonna go out to that ring tonight and let my actions do the talking for me. Everyone knows I like to run my mouth - that I never shut up. Besides this whole "Best in the World" thing, I've kinda made my career my being the guy in the room with an opinion on everything, right?
Except lately, these past few months anyways, it's been an all-I-can-eat buffet of humble pie. I tell Seth Rollins that his self-righteous destiny bullshit can't stack up to and honest day's worth of wrestling talent. Then I lose. I promise Sami Zayn I'm gonna teach him a lesson in manners and show him what a real competitor looks like. Then I lose.
I'm out here trying to be the friendly, neighborhood CM Punk, fighting the good fight, doing things by the book. I cut my teeth in ROH - cheesy as it may sound, I still believe in that Code of Honor stuff. I'm adamant that this sport would be better off if it had some god damn integrity. But as much as I'm a man of principles, I'm a student of the scientific process, and if my theories about how and why this place could be better keep on getting upstaged by lowlife scumbags, then the obvious conclusion is that they're right and I'm wrong.
Brooks' gaze narrows, stubborn with conviction.
Punk: I don't wrong about this.
I'm on a mission to civilize. Progress is slow but I'm in it for the long haul. There's no denying that two consecutive losses on pay-per-view hurts. There's no pretending that it doesn't look like I'm losing a step here - that after a 34 week title run and a massive undefeated streak, the boys have finally figured out my number. So what? I've come back from worse than this. Last time I did, though, it was with an "ends justify the means" mentality and now I'm not sure the UWF can stomach another asshole playing that card to rest easy at night.
If a high road still exists, I'm gonna find it. However long it takes, however bad it hurts, whatever hoops I gotta jump through and whatever goofball, carny, cheapskate, backstabbing bullshit I have to endure to get there, I'll take it all. This is a fight worth having. If I have to spend the rest of my career finding a way to prove the Rollins' and the Zayn's of this world wrong, it'll be worth it, and there's no better place to for me to double down on that commitment then right here tonight at Revolution 150, kicking off the King of the Ring against Cena and Batista.
On that note, CM Punk turns and heads up to Gorilla position. The feed cuts out and Revolution continues elsewhere.
Chimel: The following contest is a triple threat match in the opening round of the King of the Ring tournament!
A slow rumbling bass of Bad With Phones’ “Living & Surfing” hits the PA like a wave rumbling onto the shore as suddenly electronic drums come chopping through like knives to the chagrin of fans in attendance. Austin Theory must shortly be arriving.
1-2,
1-2,
1-2,
ah-ha.
Chimel: Introducing first, from McDonough, Georgia, weighing in at 220 lbs, Austin Theory!
He’s here, Austin is in the house, blokes, he’s here. Everyone wishes he wasn’t though, but the smug face of the man of many theories comes through the curtain like a bad reminder, and we’re about to get some bread. This bread. A fight, or something. Wow, look at that, the guys already in the ring from all that talk. What an athlete, so quick, so agile, what a blue chip god, huh? He awaits this one to get underway.
"Homicide" by LL Cool J hits the PA System and out comes the "Notorious 187" Homicide!
Homicide comes out and the fans cheer. Homicide puts the gun signs up and than he fake shoots his pretend guns and makes his way down to the ring as the fans cheer him.
Chimel:And finally, from Cocunut Creek, Florida by way of Brooklyn New York this is the Notorious 187 Homicide!!!
Homicide enters the ring and gets to the top turnbuckle removing his bandana and throwing it to the fans. He throws up a gang sign representing his LAX days. Homicide than jumps down from the turnbuckle and is ready for the fight at hand.
Suddenly the lights start to darken and flicker...
Cheers begin to ring all around the arena as the music plays and Danhausen takes to the stage. After a couple of slow spins around the stage area, Danhausen then raises his arms and gives out a determined yell as the crowd pops in appreciation.
Chimel Next, from Someplace Far Away, weighing at least 300lbs, The Prime Time Medalist... Danhausen!!
Danhausen heads down the ramp, waving politely at some of the fanhausens in attendance before he hops up onto the apron and signals the nearby cameraman to get a close up shot of him. Danhausen then points directly into the camera lens and yells “Love That Danhausen!” before climbing through the middle rope and posing in the center of the ring with his arms held high once again.
The three competitors each take a different corner while Tony steps out of the ring. After ensuring they're all good to go, the Referee calls for the bell.
VS 
VS 
DING DING
We're starting things off with what's known in the film business as a "Mexican Stand-Off". It's the thing you have two sit through two-and-a-half hours of boring cowboy shit to see in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. A three-way stare-down, itching trigger fingers, darting eyes, nervous beads of sweat trickling down sides of faces. Like Leone's "classic", the lack of action is embraced whole-heartedly by the audience, who delight in the simmering anticipation. History itself is on the line. Bah Gawd, the UWF has seen plenty of champions over the years. Hundreds, probably. It's a far more select group of people who can count themselves among the regal ranks of King of the Ring tournament winners. The golden opportunity at the end of this rainbow is just a cherry on top of the illustrious honour.
So you can understand the hesitation. The competitors are world class and in a match type as combustible as the triple-threat, where anything goes and falls comes fast, one wrong move could cost a fella everything.
Ranallo: We'll see the better part of the locker room competing in these opening round match-ups tonight, but I'm not sure there's a more eclectic trio facing off than these men in the ring now.
Phillips: Agreed, Mauro, in regards to personality as well as styles. Homicide is a brawler who's refined his game recently at American Top Team. I think it's worth noting that that training probably focused solely on one-on-one competition, but he's seen his fair share of multi-person matches over the years. Danhausen, on the other hand, is a complete wild card and is coming into this riding high off the momentum of a huge win over Edge at Backlash that saw him winning the Prime Time Medal.
Graves: And as far as I'm concerned, neither of them are prepared for Austin Theory. Has he seen a few ups and downs since his debut? Sure. This blue chip prospect might be a little green - there's still no denying that he looks better and better every time he steps in the ring. He navigated his way through a chaotic match to win at Wrestlemania, I fully expect to see him do the same here tonight.
After what feels like a whole entire minute of feeling each other out at a distance, the Notorious 187 is the first to make a move. He feints like he's shooting in on Danhausen, who recoils in surprise. Homicide then turns on a dime and comes barreling towards Theory, launching himself in the air with the same flying knee he used to drop Ishii in his return to the company - the ATT special.
Evidently, Austin's been watching some tape and he knows what to expect. Theory slips out of the way before taking a shin bone to the jaw. He get behind Homicide as the former Cartel member breezes by, drops down, snags some trunks and goes for a Schoolboy pin! Homicide tumbles backwards and finds his shoulders planted into the canvas as the Referee makes the count...
1...
Danhausen dives in to break that thing up pronto. It was a ballsy move by Theory, but it'll take a bit more work than that to secure a victory.
Graves: Look at Theory getting right after it! I love this kid's hustle.
Ranallo: It seems like the UWF Universe doesn't quite share your enthusiasm for this young talent
The boos ringing out when Austin tried to get the W turn to a chorus of cheers when the newly-minted Prime Time Medalist hauls him up off Homicide. Danhausen peppers him with a forearm to the side of the head then whips him into the ropes. Theory comes back fast, headhunting with a lariat that Danhausen is able to duck. When the Blue Chipper passes by, Homicide is right there to meet him. He catches Austin off guard and sends him flying with a Biiiiiiiiiiiiig Back Body Drop!
Theory crash lands into the canvas and rolls away, nursing his banged-up back. Homicide has some choice words for the social media aficionado, though that mocking comes back to bite him. Danhausen spins him around and hooks his head. A teased suplex gets Homicide worrying about all the wrong things, giving the Prime Time Medalist an opening to shift momentums and bring him down to the mat with a Small Package!
He hooks that inside cradle in deep and the Referee dives in for the count...
1...
Homicide fights out and counters, pushing his full weight over to roll Danhausen into a pinning predicament of his own. The fourth man scooches into a better position before making the next count...
1...
2...
Danhausen pops up a shoulder just in time. He tries to scurry away but Homicide stays on him, using that MMA training to sprawl on a downed opponent. The demonic spider monkey tries to set up a butterfly guard of sorts, more instinct than grappling knowledge getting those legs up. Homicide uses that position against him as he folds Danhausen up like a lawnchair and presses those legs down to hold the shoulders against the mat. The Ref makes the count...
1...
2...
Like a bucking horse, Danhausen kicks up with all his might and knocks the Notorious 187 back before the third count. Just like how Homicide was able to catch Theory off guard moments ago, Austin is ready and waiting for the American Top Team Member when he comes barreling backwards. The Blue Chip Prospect catches him around the shoulders and drags him to the ground with a Crucifix pin!
Phillips: Nearfall after nearfall! These superstars are trying to get it done early tonight!
Graves: They're private contractors, Phillips. They aren't paid by the hour.
Ranallo: This tournament is a marathon, not a sprint. They'll have to compete against elite competition next week an then in the finals after that. To win means to deliver outstanding performances on multiple, consecutive shows - so perhaps the mentality here is to avoid as much damage as possible in order to be fresh for the upcoming rounds.
Theory has Homicide pinned good and hard with that Crucifix. The Official is getting a work out tonight as he scampers across the squared circle to make another count...
1...
2...
Danhausen dives in to break it up before it's too late. He then stands over Theory and puts the boots to him, only for Austin to swipe his legs out from beneath him. The Prime Time Medalist lands hard on his back and the former Prime Time Medalist leans over him to shoot the half.
1...
Since he didn't hook a leg, Austin can't maintain the pin for long. He gets up after the kick out only for Homicide to snag him from behind with the evening's second Schoolboy! The Ref rolls over for the next count...
1...
2...
Danhausen scurries around the heap of opponent then sunset flips over, hooking Homicide's legs to pull him off while somehow setting up a Jackknife pin in a impressive display of pinsmanship! The Ref starts slapping the mat anew...
1...
2...
Homicide kicks out just in time, and with enough force to send Danhausen out of town for the weekend. Theory grabs him getting to his feet and shows off some skill of his own with a Gedo Clutch...
1...
Having been around the block more than once, Homicide knows exactly how to get out of that one. Theory's got some more tricks up his sleeve, though, and wraps the Notorious 187 up again, this time busting out that Zach Sabre Jr. maneuver when he hooks his ankles around the other guy's ankles then leans back with his arms crossed to use the leverage of his weight the make a wicked cool looking pin! The Ref counts it off...
Graves: Look at the poise of Theory! Do you have any idea the kind of core strength this requires?
1...
Phillips: This could finally be it!
2...
Graves: Theory will advance!
No! Danhausen dives on top of the fray to disrupt the count at 2.99! The fans lose their minds, so caught up are they in the chaotic back-and-forth-and-back-again of this pinfest.
Ranallo: I've called countless wrestling matches over the years, including, as of tonight, exactly one-hundred-and-fifty UWF Revolution events and I have never seen a triple threat match like this!
Phillips: I don't think anybody has.
Graves: This is the kind of thing Meltzer is going to really love or really hate.
All three wrestlers hurry back to their feet. Danhausen looks to tangle up with Homicide only to get tossed through the ropes and to the outside. Theory lands one of the match's few strikes when he connects his boot to the Notorious 187's tummy, doubling him over. He doesn't waste any time in hoisting his opponent up over his shoulders, setting him up for the ATL!
Austin spins Homicide around out of the Fireman's Carry position, except the Cartel goon lands on his feet behind the guy. Theory turns and takes a shot to the jaw and then a knee to the midsection. Theory is winded like a fish out of water and Homicide hastily hooks his arms up backwards and lifts him up for a Gringo Killa!
Phillips: If Homicide hits this, it's all over!
Graves: Look! Theory's escaping!
Sure enough, Theory struggles enough to get an opening to slip out. He lands behind Homicide then rushes him towards the ropes, sending him flying to the floor with a big ol' shove. Nothing fancy, just enough to get himself out of trouble.
Or so he thought!
The creepiest son of a gun on the roster sneaks up from behind and snags him with a roll-up! Danhausen pulls Theory to the canvas and then puts his feet on the rope for some extra leverage. The Ref can see it plain as day but this a triple threat, brother, so it's all good!
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER...
ADVANCING TO THE NEXT ROUND OF THE KING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT...
DANHAUSEN!
Danhausen pops off and rolls under the ropes, forgoing the ceremonial raising of the hand to avoid Theory's post-match tantrum. Austin is screaming at the Ref, who insists that technically, there was no foul play. Homicide, meanwhile, is looking up from the apron, shaking his head at another triple threat match decided without his involvement in the finish.
Phillips: Danhausen did it! He'll go on to the next round of the tournamenthausen!
Ranallo: There were moments when I thought all three of them were going to walk away with it, but in the end, the Prime Time Medalist is the one to advance.
Graves: That's cheating. He cheated and he knows it. How does this guy sleep at night?
Phillips: I'm honestly not even sure that he does.
Danhausen snatches his Prime Timed Medal from the table at ringside and raises it high and proud as he hurries up the ramp. Theory is still complaining while Homicide follows Lambert out of there. Revolution continues elsewhere.
As there’s a break in the action, things cut away to Batista in a suit and sunglasses as he stands in front of a mirror.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: John Cena wanted to turn this into a rap battle, CM Punk wanted to make this about something more personal. My pain threshold, my ring rust, my motivation to do this and movies too. Both of them got under my skin in their own way but being the, “Hollywood Animal” means I have attributes of several animals in my wheelhouse so I can just shed that skin like a snake and then they’ve got nothing to hide beneath when I come raining down on them like a hailstorm of anger and wrath. I guess I haven’t made it clear enough yet that I’m not to be tampered with, but you’ll both find that out soon enough because I’m going to the end of this tournament and I’m going to use your beaten carcasses as steps. So consider your dreams…
Batista punches the mirror as it cracks and multiple pieces fall to the floor.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: SHATTERED!
Batista walks offscreen as Revolution continues elsewhere.
After a few seconds of the camera shot lingering on its current location, a fade transition once again takes place as it’s TO THE BACK~ with Renee Young standing by, microphone in hand.
Renee Young: ”Ladies and gentlemen, this is Renee Young standing by, my guest at this time is none other than one Mr. Trevor Lee.”
With such a “warm” welcome from Renee, Trevor Lee steps into frame with a cheshire grin on his face.
Renee Young: ”Now Mr. Lee, these past few weeks have seen you gain some solid momentum, both in your debut victory and, more recently, picking up the #1 contendership to the UWF Television Championship in the opening contest of Backlash. My question for you though is about tonight, and specifically how you plan on continuing to build momentum as you head into your first-round matchup in the King Of The Ring tournament?”
With the microphone handed his way, Lee remains all smiles as he looks Renee directly in the eye.
Trevor Lee: ”Well sweetheart, I gotta thank you first an’ foremost for gettin’ my name correct this go-aroun’. I know it ain’t much, but it certainly is a pet peeve of mine for people outside of that there ‘rasslin ring to not be puttin’ respect onto my name. After all, I am a mayor, folks, so callin’ me mista’ Trevor Lee is just the polite thing to do, ain’t it? But anyways, about this here triple threat match, it really does seem like I’ve been runnin’ the gauntlet these past few weeks, hasn’t it? First a singles matchup with Mikey boy, then I had to beat ‘em an’ two other men in a fatal four way, an’ now it’s a triple threat? Folks, cover the ears of your children real quick for this not-so-nice language-”
...And of course, being the gentleman that he is, Trevor actually pauses to allow people to do such!
Trevor Lee: ”But at this rate, for all y’all mature folks at home, I ain’t just gonna be the mayor of Harlan, but the gosh dang Whore of Babylon at well with how many men I’m runnin’ through!”
Sounding exasperated at this, Trevor Lee gives a moment so that the concerned citizens who covered their ears can undo such actions now that he’s finished.
Trevor Lee: ”Ah, it don’t matter though. It don’t matter how many people that ya’ put Trevor Lee up against in that there squared circle, it ain’t gonn’ bother me none! I’m just gonna keep movin’, keep fightin’, keep survivin’. ‘Cause that ‘rasslin ring out there? That place is a jungle, man, one big, dark, scary jungle…and tonight, I go against two self-proclaimed predators of that jungle.”
Taking another beat of time away, Trevor takes a breath before continuing.
Trevor Lee: ”On one side, ya’ got the hungriest lion in the pack. Ya’ got the Rated-R Superstar himself, Edge. Now, I’ve said it before but I’m gonna say it again, I got nothin’ but respect for ya’ Edge. Ya’ one of the most prolific, one of the most connivin’, one of the most prideful men that the U-Dubya-Eff has ever done seen before! But as of recent, the hunt hasn’t been given ya’ the same results, has it there Edge? Nah, nah nah nah nah nah, nah that hunt’s been dryin’ up. Ya’ve run outta small fries, all the injured, all the weak, all the people who ya’ woulda’ made a meal out of with ease…all of ‘em are gone, Edge. Natural selection done gone an’ run its course, an’ now all ya’ got left are those that are either lucky enough to have stayed under ya’ radar…or people like me. People who are bold, people who are young, people who just plain an’ simple want it more than ya’ do, Edge.”
With a cocky grin on his face, Lee primps his hat for the camera.
Trevor Lee: ”’Cause you were right about one thing there Edge. When I stepped into the ring, I didn’t have the same drive, the same hunger that ya’ got. I mean, I’m here to have fun, folks! I’m here as a side-gig from my mayorly duties, I’m tryin’ to drum up some tourism down in my lil’ ol’ hometown of Harlan, all the while ya’ out here fightin’ for ya’ very career! Ya’re the starvin’ lion of the U-Dubya-Eff, Edge, there ain’t no denyin’ that…but there’s still one other man to speak on…”
beat.
Trevor Lee: ”Tommaso Ciampa, ya’ sneaky lil’ snake. Ya’ been slitherin’ aroun’ here all stealthfully, thinkin’ ya’ the smartest knife in the drawer, the brightest light bulb in the box, thinkin’ ya’ gonna do just what ya’ did on Sunday and steal away this victory, ain’t ya? Well lemme tell ya’ somethin’ Tommaso…ya’ just might do that.”
While it clearly is a weird turn, it’s clear Lee has a plan, so Renee doesn’t dare pull away that microphone.
Trevor Lee: ”Ya’ might just do that, Tommy boy…ya’ might be able to sneak in there, to slither ya’ way into a victory. I ain’t gonna lie to ya’ folks an’ say there’s no chance in heck that Tommy boy takes away a victory from one o’ us. I mean, it’s as the sayin’ goes, anythin’ can happen in the U-Dubya-Eff! But Tommy boy, what I can say to ya’ is that it ain’t gonna be as easy as it was on Sunday. ‘Cause back then, ya’ weren’t worryin’ ya’ pretty lil’ head too hard, were ya’? No, ya’ were sleepin’ quite easy durin’ that matchup, ‘cause the two men facin’ off with ya’ were dead set on takin’ each other out instead of focusin’ on the prize. They didn’t keep their eye on the birdie…or, in this case, keep their eye on the Goldie.”
Pleased with his own cleverness, Trevor lets out a small chuckle.
Trevor Lee: ”Nah, they let their own grudges get in the way of things, an’ look what happened - ya’ walked out still in however many pieces ya’ entered that ring with, ya’ still left with you an’ Goldie skippin’ hand-an’-hand, that thirty-years-old love bloomin’ on the battlefield…”
A wistful sigh from Trevor this time.
Trevor Lee: ”But this time aroun’, mista’ snake, ya’ ain’t slippin’ outta’ this so cleanly. Ya’ ain’t leavin’ that there ring without a chunk a’ flesh bein’ ripped offa’ ya’ as payment, an’ that ain’t me makin’ some idle threat, that’s me remindin’ ya that it ain’t just us two in that there ring tonight!”
“‘Cause Tommy boy, ya’ gonna be goin’ up against that starvin’ lion…ya’ gonna be squarin’ off with the hungriest predator in the entire jungle. An’ I dunno how well Goldie does with animals, if I’m bein’ honest, just haven’t known her for long enough y’know, but I can take a wild guess that ya’ ain’t exactly gonna be makin’ friends with that lion come bell time. So…”
Trevor finally turns back to Renee.
Trevor Lee: ”Ya’ wanna’ know how I plan on continuin’ this momentum of mine throughout that there King Of The Ring tournament? It’s simple, darlin’...I’m gonna go out there, an’ pray up to the lord above that those two decide that beatin’ the ever-lovin’ H-E-double hockey stick outta each other is more entertainin’ to them than rememberin’ that this lil’ ol’ mayor is also a competitor in their affair~!”
With a smile full of false confidence, Trevor Lee rushes off from the scene, seeming quite keen on making that prayer now than later, leaving Renee both baffled and annoyed.
Renee Young: ”...Well, guess it is back to you guys, then?”
Letting the professional smile drop from her face, Renee shakes her head.
Renee Young: ”...Still doesn’t know my goddamn name…”
With the camera crew realizing they’re still rolling after that line slips on the live mic, they bluntly cut elsewhere.
”I Walk Alone” begins playing, sending the crowd into an uproar as many are booing but there are still fans sprinkled amongst them that are cheering the big man. Without much delay, out he walks and begins making his way to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Washington D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds, BATISTA!
Batista enters the ring and gets ready for the match ahead.
P X
U X
X N
X K
The Big X ignites the titantron while "Baba O'Riley" blasts through the speakers, strobes flashing to match the spastic, rolling synth loop. CM Punk bursts out on to the ramp when the piano kicks in. That harmonized energy is infectious for the capacity crowd. The fans are on their feet and cheering as Punk takes a knee on the ramp to check his wrist...
It's Clobberin' Time! The Second City Saint marches down the ramp, ready for a fight.
Chimel: Making his way to the ring from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at 218 pounds... CM PUNK!
Punk scales the steel steps and climbs the turnbuckle. He stands perched with one foot on the middle rope and one on the tope, hand to eyebrow as he surveys the audience. The song breaks for that famous chorus line, which the crowd joyfully sings along with. When the guitar kicks back in, Brooks flings himself over the top rope to enter the squared circle. He claps Tony on the shoulder as he passes by, making his rounds in the ring while preparing for the match ahead.
John Cena theme hit's the arena when the Fans Cheers for him in mostly Salutes through them
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He's salutes to the UWF Universe
Tony Chimel: From West Newbury, Massachusetts weighing at 260lbs John Cena
Cena Salutes to his fans and runs straight down towards the ring and slides in and runs back in fourth of the ropes and throws his hat and raise up Chain gang pose and takes off his shirt and hands the Ref his chain gang necklace.
VS 
VS 
DING DING DING
Cena and Punk come out of their corner ready to brawl but Batista leans against the turnbuckles with his arms crossed, shades still on of course. They look to him and he gives them a motion to fight among themselves. Punk and Cena glance at one another before nodding, an agreement to teach this Hollywood elite a lesson. They move in to attack but Cena grabs Punk from behind and sends him overhead with a German Suplex! Punk seems to have forgotten that Cena's gone Hollywood as well! Punk rushes back up to his feet as best he can but he stumbles to the ropes. Cena runs over and clothesline him out of the ring, getting that straight to DVD garbage outta here! Cena turns around but then it's his turn to get Clotheslined out of the ring! Batista then walks back to his corner and again, crosses his arms.
Tom Phillips: Nice to see Batista finally get involved in this match. Even if it was short lived.
Corey Graves: Big Dave doesn't get paid the big bucks to deal with trash like John Cena. He's going to let those two fight it out to see who should have the honor of facing him in that ring.
Punk is getting to his feet and sees Cena doing the same. He comes over and gives him a kick to the gut and attempts a Suplex on the floor but Cena blocks it and uses his power to lift up Punk and Front Suplex him onto the barricade! Punk just hangs there and John gets an idea. He grabs onto the barricade and very clumsily climbs up onto it. It's taking a lot of concentration not to lose his balance but once he's set, he jumps off and gives Punk a Diving Legdrop to the back of the head, Punk's body flipping over the barricade and onto the floor!
Cena grabs his ass, probably not the best thing for his tailbone but it looked cool goddamnit! He picks up Punk and tosses him back into the ring. Cena comes in right behind him but he's broken in half by a Spear! Big Dave doesn't even try for the pin, instead rolling Cena out of the ring and focusing on Punk. What better way to make a statement then by beating the former UWF Champion. Batista lifts Punk up onto his shoulders and runs forward to hit a Running Powerslam! He stays on him for the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Punk kicks out! Big Dave is looking hella confident right now as he walks over to the ropes and starts shaking them violently. He puts the thumbs up as Punk is getting back to a vertical base. He brings the thumbs down and kicks punk in the gut. He takes a second to soak in the boos from the crowd before he lifts Punk up in the Powerbomb position. Punk starts punching down on his head and we see Batista starts to wobble a bit. Punk leans back to use his weight to send Batista forward in a Hurrincanrana but Big Dave keeps his feet firmly planted. Punk looks shocked as he hangs upside down but he's soon lifted right back up. Cena however slides into the ring and hits a Chop Block to take him out at the knee! Punk lands right on Dave and stays on him for the pin but Batista easily powers him off of him before the ref can even make a 1 count.
All three men rush to their feet but it's Punk and Cena who are up first, Batista feeling the effects of that Chop Block. Now Cena works with Punk and the two start striking the Animal. They got the Guardian of the Galaxy on the ropes and they look to each other and nod. They go in for a Double Clothesline but actually it's only Cena as Punk grabs him from behind and throws him back with a German Suplex! Punk has a smile on his face, telling him he had it coming but he soon gets turned inside out with a big Clothesline courtesy of Drax the Destroyer! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Punk gets the shoulder up at 2! Batista grabs a fistful of hair and pulls Punk back up. The former UWF Champion is down on his knees. He's tired of being just pummeled this whole match and so he just straight up Low Blows him right in the balls!
Corey Graves: What an absolute classless act by the former champion.
Mauro Ranallo: Punk was just checking to see if Batista could play The Wolfman in a new film.
Corey Graves: What?
Mauro Ranallo: Because Wolfman's got nards!
Batista falls to his knees, grimacing so much that it'd put the McDonald's mascot to shame. Punk lunges forward to give him a Headbutt that knocks him clean out! Batista slumps to the side and Punk hooks the leg!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Cena breaks up the pin! John starts blasting Punk in the back of the head with some clubbing blows before he brings him up to his feet. He goes to lift him up for a Suplex but Punk bringing down a knee to the top of his head! Cena is stunned and drops him back down and Punk gets him in a hammerlock before hitting the Pepsi Twist! Despite just hitting that maneuver, Punk knows Batista is worse for wear and moves in to finish him off. He grabs the Hollywood star and hoists him onto his shoulders. It's nap time for the ol' grumpy star but Batista slips off his back behind him and shoves him forward into the corner. Punk saves himself before he can collide and so Batista rushes at him. Punk catches him with a Back Elbow that sets him back a few paces. Punk then leaps to the middle rope and jumps off, twisting in the air for a Crossbody. Big Dave catches him with ease though and shakes his head. Cena comes running up behind him however and hits a Bulldog, Batista falling right on top of Punk!
Tom Phillips: Cena keeps popping up to remind people just what he used to be.
Corey Graves: It's annoying if you ask me. Just go away already, I'm trying to watch a great match!
Mauro Ranallo: He's just trying to keep the peace Corey, no matter what it takes.
Batista gets back to his feet but eats a Running Shoulder Block. He rises up only to get taken down with another. He gets up a third time and what do you know, another Shoulder Block takes him down! This time however, he's got him. He gets up and takes a wild swing only for Cena to duck it and take his back, spinning him out to hit the Protobomb! Cena stands up and lifts his hand in the air. Punk however is getting up and so Cena runs past him, leaping over to hit the Throwback! Both Punk and Batista are down and Cena shrugs his shoulders before throwing both hands in the air! The crowd is on their feet and do the signature taunt along with him. "You Can't See Me" and Cena runs to the ropes, coming back with a double Five Knuckle Shuffle! The crowd is crazy as Cena waits as both men rise. Batista up first and Cena gets him onto his shoulders. Punk isn't far behind and Cena shows off his strength by getting him up as well.
Tom Phillips: Are we about to see a double Attitude Adjustment!?
Corey Graves: Somebody do something!
Punk manages to slip down off of Big Dave and while he could stop Cena, why would he? Cena sends Batista crashing back down onto the mat with the Attitude Adjustment! He didn't immediately realize Punk wasn't up there still and when he turns around he eats a Spinning Back Kick to the gut followed by a Welcome to Chicago! Batista meanwhile rolls out of the ring to safety. Punk sees the opportunity he has though and brings Cena back up to his feet before lifting him up onto his shoulders. Eve senses the trouble her man is in and she hops onto the apron. She shakes her ass a bit and tries to get Punk's attention. Silly girl, your Hoeski antics won't work on a married man! Eve realizes it's not working and just comes into the ring. No DQ's baby. People forget though, she's judo trained baby and she's ready to strike. Punk drops Cena and looks past her with a confused look on his face. Eve turns to see what he was looking at but it's nothing. She turns back around and eats a Roundhouse Kick to the face! #CancelPunk. She goes down and Punk picks Cena right back up and nails the GTS! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
But NO! The ref is pulled out of the ring by Batista! Big Dave slides right back in but Punk levels him with a Roundhouse Kick for his troubles! Batista is knocked backwards into the corner where Punk connects with the Running Knee followed by a Bulldog! Punk exits out onto the apron and waits for the Animal to rise. Batista does just that and so Punk springboards off the ropes but gets caught in mid air with an earth shattering Spinebuster! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Punk kicks out! Punk rolls out to the apron for safety but Batista is looking mighty pissed. He comes over and reaches over the ropes to pick him up. Punk swipes his hands away and levels him with yet another Roundhouse Kick! Batista stumbles away to the center of the ring and Punk gets ready for another attempt at the Springboard Clothesline. He jumps up but his legs are grabbed and falls face first into the apron by none other than Sami Zayn!
Mauro Ranallo: What the hell!?
Tom Phillips: Why is Sami Zayn out here?
Corey Graves: What do you mean why? He's getting revenge for what Punk did in his match!
Mauro Ranallo: Punk was just scouting who he'd potentially face after the King of the Ring, he didn't touch Sami.
Corey Graves: You're a fool if you think that's what Punk was doing out there earlier tonight.
Zayn kneels next to Punk and just starts laying in shots, beating him over the head over and over again. Batista shakes the cobwebs and sees Punk is busy. Cena however is stirring and so Batista simply kicks him in the gut and levels him with a Batista Bomb! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Batista!
Tom Phillips: Batista just picked up the win but CM Punk was incapacitated by that damn Sami Zayn!
Corey Graves: He was only doing what's right, when will you people get that.
Officials come out from the back to stop Zayn who happily backs away, having busted Punk open. He smiles at his handiwork as he leaves through the crowd. Big Dave meanwhile is more than happy to have gotten the win by any means necessary. He continues to celebrate as the show moves on.
The camera cuts to Ciampa in his locker room. He is sitting in a steel chair and is looking down at Goldie in his hands. Wardlow is standing behind him, the big man still an ever present presence for his employer, Ciampa would look up.
Ciampa: You know, I meant it all when I stood in the ring earlier with Lee and Edge. I don’t know how much gas I have left in this tank of mine. In these past few months i’ve taken more punishment than I think I have in my career. From Lawlor wrenching on my neck to the weapons match with Warhorse were, well I took some creative weapon shots. It all adds up in the end and every day I can feel more weakness in my arm or a non stop pain in my neck. Sometimes it goes away quick and other times it can be there from sunup to sunset but it makes its presence known. I spoke to my wife a few weeks ago and I asked her what she thought I should do, she told me I should take time off but she knows it goes in one ear and immediately out the other.
Ciampa would look down at Goldie again.
Ciampa: I don’t say all this for sympathy, I say this so people will know what type of man they’re dealing with when I get in the ring with them. I’m not a man to give up because at the end of the day this is all I know, this is how i provide for my family and so when an opponent tries to take me out or tries to get in my head, I view them as someone trying to take away the life i’ve built away from me and i just can’t allow that. Like I said to Edge, no one wants a Tommaso Ciampa on the big screen or on TV. The guy like me doesn’t get the endorsement deals or the talk shows, i’m the guy that was destined for the bingo halls and didn’t accept that.
Ciampa would shake his head.
Ciampa: I worked for everything I have in this business and life and I refuse to fail anymore. I’m the only man to have never lost to the UWF Champion on this roster and the King of the Ring is finally the chance for me to face him. I don’t know if its EC3 protecting him or Seth refusing to face me but i’m on a collision course with the so called messiah and i’m tired of waiting, i’m tired of being overlooked.
Lifting up Goldie, Ciampa would kiss the title.
Ciampa: Goldie is sick and tired of being looked at by others as a second place trophy when she’s the belt that makes you known as the Workhorse round here. The one who can get the job done and tonight, i’m going to do it once again. Trevor and Edge, out there I want you both to know that what i’m going to do is very personal, once again you’re the people standing in my way of me making my families life better and so when that bell rings, all bets are off because this is my time and i’m going to take it.
With that Ciampa stands up and leaves the locker room, Wardlow following behind him.
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
A familiar phrase echoes throughout the arena, leading into the bassline of "Hysteria" by Muse. Smoke fills the stage and before long, a figure walks out from behind the stage into the smoke. No bounding from one side to the other, Edge moves slowly, like a predator taking in his surroundings in order to best pounce on his prey. The crowd is not shy with their disdain for the Ultimate Opportunist, showring him in boos as he stalks down the ramp. Halfway down, he pauses, crouching low, his face contorting as he bares his fangs and in one motion, uncoils upwards, his hands held high with devil horns as pyro explodes behind him.
As the pyro finishes exploding, Edge slowly brings his head back to level and walks towards the ring. Only a few steps away, he runs and slides into the ring and as he moves towards a turnbuckle to pose and soak in more hate and boos, the ring announcer chimes in.
Tony Chimel
Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds. He is the Ultimate Opportunist, Edge!
As Psycho Killer blasts over the speakers Ciampa walks out onto stage, flanked by Wardlow. The crowd boos the pair loudly, Ciampa hold the Intercontinental Championship in the air and shouts "THIS IS MY MOMENT"
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring and being accompanied by Wardlow from Boston, Massachusetts weighing in tonight at 201lbs he is the UWF Intercontinental Champion The "Psycho Killer" Tommaso Ciampa.
Keeping the championship held in the air, Ciampa quickly moves his empty hand down and a black and gold pyro bursts out of the stage as the pair makes their way to the ring. Wardlow making sure his boss doesn’t get harassed by any of the fans. As the pair reach the ring Wardlow sits on the ropes and lets Ciampa in. Ciampa climbs a turnbuckle and holds the championship aloft, allowing a single spotlight to hit it and let it shine.
Ciampa then jumps down from the turnbuckle and stares at his championship, like Gollum staring at the one ring, he then touches the centre and stares for a second. He would then hand the Intercontinental Championship to Wardlow, telling him to take care of her. Ciampa then gets in his corner.
As "You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive" by the Ruby Friedman Orchestra begins to play throughout the arena, out steps the man claiming to be the "mayor" of his hometown of Harlan, Kentucky, Trevor Lee. That same smile remains plastered on his face as he looks out to the audience, his arms opened wide as he looks for any members of the front rows to potentially embrace him and his invitation to his home.
Tony Chimel: From Harlan, Kentucky, weighing in at 220 lbs, Trevor Lee!
As Lee strides up the steel stairs and onto the apron, he takes a moment to look out towards the fans on the hardcam side of the arena, before putting both arms in the sky, two fingers up on each hand, and a cry of "TO THE MOON" can be heard being called out, before he then enters the ring. Lee then discards his entrance attire, and even as the match draws closer, that same smirk remains...
VS 
VS 
DING DING DING
Edge and Ciampa are starring one another down across from each other. They move in towards the center of the ring but Trevor Lee comes into frame and grabs Edge's hand and shakes it, telling him good luck and then walks over to Ciampa to do the same. They both look to each other before the clock the man from Harlan right in his face! Trevor Lee goes down and rolls out of the ring. Edge looks to go on the offensive and takes a shot at Ciampa but Tommaso retaliates with an even harder right. Edge loses ground after a barrage of stiff rights has him on the ropes. Ciampa sends him off but Edge reverses and sends him running instead. Ciampa hits the ropes but gets tripped up by Lee and then pulled out of the ring and thrown into the steel steps!
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like Trevor Lee didn't take those punches to the face well.
Corey Graves: He was giving them a courtesy and they spat in his face. Now they'll face the wrath of Harlan's own.
Trevor Lee slides into the ring and runs right at Edge. The former multi time world Champion goes for a Clothesline but it's ducked. Lee hits the ropes and comes back with a Superman Forearm that knocks Edge into the corner. Lee runs at him but Edge gets the boot up! Trevor Lee is able to stop in his tracks and catch the boot, shaking his head before he pulls Edge out of the corner into a Backbreaker! Edge rolls out onto the apron but Trevor Lee isn't done with him yet. He reaches through the ropes to pick him up but Edge grabs his head and drops down to hang him on the middle rope! Trevor Lee turns away holding his throat but doesn't know that Ciampa has come back in and takes him down with a Running Lariat! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
Lee kicks out at 1! Ciampa grabs a fistful of hair and brings him back up to a vertical base. He keeps him bent over and delivers a few Knee Strikes to the face to keep him at bay. Edge however comes back into the ring and takes Ciampa out with a Big Boot! Lee thanks Edge for the help with a swift Roundhouse Kick to the side of the head! Edge turns away looking stunned and Trevor Lee follows up with a German Suplex! Lee pounds his chest like he's King Kong but Ciampa knocks his block off with a High Knee! Trevor stumbles towards the ropes and falls through them. Edge is starting to get up and so Ciampa comes over and hooks both arms. Edge lifts him up into a Back Body Drop however and then stumbles to the corner. Ciampa holds his back as he gets to his feet, not realizing Edge is lying in wait. He turns around and Edge comes charging for a Spear! Ciampa however manages to catch him with a knee to the face! Edge is stunned and so Ciampa lifts him over his shoulder and hits an Air Raid Crash! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Edge kicks out! Ciampa grabs him and brings him back up but Edge just straight up grabs his beard and pulls him down into Edge's knee! Edge smiles but doesn't waste time. He starts kicking the downed Ciampa until he's seated against the corner. Edge starts choking him out with his boot until the ref counts to 4. Edge backs off and turns around only to eat a Superkick by Trevor Lee! Edge ends up falling backwards and lies against Ciampa. Lee runs to the other side of the ring before coming back with a Canonball to both of them! He grabs Edge and pulls him up, hooking the head and dropping him with the Small Package Driver!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Ciampa dives forward to break up the pin! Lee turns his anger towards him and just starts slugging away at Ciampa. The Intercontinental Champion does his best to cover up but Lee is like a wild man. He was seconds away from victory and he's letting Ciampa feel all of his wrath. Ciampa manages to get up to his feet while taking the onslaught and he knees Trevor Lee in the gut to cut off his momentum. He grabs Lee's head and slowly spins him around before hitting the Psycho Kutter! With Lee down, Ciampa grabs his arm and flips over to place him in the Bridging Fujiwara Armbar! The current #1 contender to the Television Championship is howling out in pain but he's nowhere near the ropes.
Tom Phillips: Imagine how much pain one must be in to howl out like that. That armbar is no joke.
Mauro Ranallo: I think he may be howling for another reason.
Edge is awoken by the sound of Lee yelling just a few feet from him. He slowly picks himself up on all fours and shakes the cobwebs before seeing the predicament. Edge stands up and walks over to kick Ciampa right in the face to break the hold! Lee grabs his shoulder and rolls to the outside. Edge pulls Ciampa up and gets him set up for the Edgeuction. Tommaso charges forward however and rams Edge back first into the corner! Ciampa starts throwing a flurry of Shoulder Thrusts until Edge falls to a seated position. Ciampa walks to another corner and runs back to blast Edge with a Running Knee to the face! He drags Edge away from the ropes and makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Edge kicks out! Ciampa picks up Edge right away and hooks both arms. He goes to lift him up for the Fairy Tale ending but Edge drops to a knee. Ciampa isn't able to power him up and instead lets go and just starts beating on Edge's back. He then takes off to the ropes and bounces off them only for Edge to duck his Clothesline attempt and wrap around him and force him down to the mat with the Edge-O-Matic! Edge rises back up but Trevor Lee comes back into the ring. Edge cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Trevor Lee respond with a Jumping High Knee that knocks him into the ropes followed by a Front Dropkick that sends Edge right through them to the floor below. Lee is going to stay on the attack but he sees Ciampa starting to stir. He comes up behind him and grabs him at the waist, lifting him up into the Cumberland German! He makes the bridge for the pin but his shoulder kind of gives out before he can get a 1 count. He stands back up and just starts stomping on the downed Ciampa.
Mauro Ranallo: Well Lee may be a well adjusted citizen these days but there's still hints of that Carolina Caveman in him.
Corey Graves: And it looks like he's not done yet.
Lee sees Edge getting up near the apron. He wants Ciampa all to himself right now so he's going to take out the trash. He comes charging out of the ring with a Suicide Dive except Edge nails him with the chair shot to the head as he flies through the ropes! Lee crashes and burns on the floor below while Edge gives off a devilish smile.
Mauro Ranallo: Good God what impact from that chair!
Corey Graves: Look at that smile, Edge was planning on that this whole time.
Tom Phillips: Lee was running with such speed that I'm surprised he didn't just bulldoze right through that chair.
Edge slides back into the ring with the chair in hand. Ciampa is on all fours when Edge comes over and slams the chair right into his back! Ciampa cries out in pain but Edge isn't done there, not even close. He grabs the chair and places Ciampa's head over it. He exits the ring and grabs another chair before coming back in. The Rated R Superstar knows exactly what Ciampa's weak spot it and intends to end things right here. There's boos from the crowd as even though they don't particularly like Ciampa, they still don't want to watch this. Edge lifts the chair up high and slams it down but Ciampa rolls away at the last moment! The impact of steel on steel vibrates through the chair and Edge drops it. Ciampa headbutts Edge in the gut before grabbing hold of him and tossing him into the corner. From there he unloads with a flurry of slaps and knee strikes known as the Sicilian Barrage!
Edge looks out of it and so Ciampa hoists him up to sit him on the top rope. He then climbs up there with him and starts hammering away at him just to make sure he doesn't try to fight back. Ciampa grabs a hold of him, perhaps setting up for a Superplex. Edge starts to fight back however and punches him in the gut a few times. Ciampa fights back with a Headbutt that knocks Edge loopy. Ciampa gets himself situated but Lee comes sliding in underneath him and grabs him, taking him out of the corner while keeping him up in a Powerbomb position! Ciampa starts hammering away at him but Lee is able to keep him upright. He's stumbling around but just drops Ciampa down with the Powerbomb! Lee stumbles around and hold his shoulder, feeling the effects of that armbar and chair shot and so he doesn't realize that Edge is waiting for him. The Ultimate Opportunist dives off the top rope with a Spear, breaking Trevor Lee in half! He goes for the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner and advancing in the King of the Ring, Edge!
Tom Phillips: And just like that Edge takes advantage of the situation and punches his ticket to the next round of the King of the Ring!
Corey Graves: They don't call him the Ultimate Opportunist for nothing.
Mauro Ranallo: And look who's waiting for him there. Next week we'll be getting ourselves a Backlash rematch in the semi finals of the King of the Ring.
Ciampa grabs Goldie and walks off while the ref checks on Lee. The camera shows a backstage view where Danhausen is watching Edge celebrate on a TV. Edge meanwhile just soaks in the boos from the crowd as the show comes to a close.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Ambrose vs Shark Boy vs Orton - Gunn
Danhausen vs Theory vs Homicide - Fauche
Zayn vs Rollins - half
Punk vs Batista vs Cena, Edge vs Ciampa vs Lee - Danny
