Revolution 6/23/22

[Danny]

As the opening video finishes, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.



Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.

Corey Graves: In our main event, Sami Zayn and El Duo Dinamico will expose CM Punk and Sweet N' Sour and stake claim to the stipulation between he and CM Punk's match at Final Battle

Tom Phillips: Well you were wrong about who'd be in the finals of the King of the Ring last week Corey so maybe you'll be wrong again.

Corey Graves: Doubtful. I was due for one wrong choice but now it's back to 100%

Mauro Ranallo: Speaking of keeping it 100, Eddie Kingston has returned and he certainly isn't shy about his feelings on his return. He's come back for a gold and a win over a former International Champion could push him in the right direction.

Tom Phillips: The same could be said for Dean Ambrose and Tommaso Ciampa. These two and well known as some of the hard hitters in UWF history. A win for either is certainly a push in the right direction.

Corey Graves: I can't wait for that one. It's going to be brutal! Unlike our other match tonight, Austin Theory vs John Cena. While I'd normally revel in violence, Theory has a point and he's proving that he's better than that kind of junk.

Mauro Ranallo:Plus Homicide goes one on one with Hornswoggle and that match starts right now!






"Homicide" by LL Cool J hits the PA System and out comes the "Notorious 187" Homicide!



Homicide comes out and the fans cheer. Homicide puts the gun signs up and than he fake shoots his pretend guns and makes his way down to the ring as the fans cheer him.

Tony Chimel: Introducing from Cocunut Creek, Florida by way of Brooklyn New York this is the Notorious 187 Homicide!!!

Homicide enters the ring and gets to the top turnbuckle removing his bandana and throwing it to the fans. He throws up a gang sign representing his LAX days. Homicide than jumps down from the turnbuckle and is ready for the fight at hand.



Chimel: Next... from Dublin, Ireland... weighing in at 147 pounds... The King, Hornswoggle!

"Down With The King" by Run DMC hits as King Hornswoggle come out to a chrous of boos and he smiles wearing his crown. He walks down the entrance ramp waving all to his peasants as he turns to the right and he walk up the steel steps. He walk along the ropes as he stops and he slides under the ring ropes.

VS


DING DING DING


The bell rings and Homicide wastes no time in running right at Swoggle and Sparta kicks him into the corner before he just starts putting the boots to the little man. The ref counts to 4 and so he backs off. Swoggle looks dazed but looks at him and shoots him the middle finger. Homicide comes back over and grabs him by both ears and lifts him away from the corner. He;s got him by the ear like a child but Swoggle ain't having none of that, He stomps down on Homicides foot causing him to let go and lean down. The King jumps forward and Headbutts Homicide, knocking him down on his ass.


Corey Graves: Haha yes! If Hornswoggle of all people beats Homicide here tonight, I'll never say a bad thing about that little bastard again!

Tom Phillips: You hate Homicide that much huh ?

Corey Graves: Fuck The Cartel!


Swoggle looks like he might have knocked himself a little loopy but he shakes the cobwebs free and climbs on top of Homicide to give him the best beat down he can. Not a lot of power coming through those strikes unfortunately and Homicide's attempts to cover up mitigate almost all of the damage. The former Cartel member kicks his legs up and he manages to Monkey Flip Swoggle off of him. The former Television Champion rushes to his feet but he's met with a a kick to the gut! Homicide then lifts him up and delivers the Bronx Bomb into the pin!



1 . . .



2 . . .



Hornswoggle kicks out! Homicide doesn't let that bother him. It only gives him more time to let out some steam. He picks up Swoggle and bends him over. He looks down at him and tries to figure out how to do a Gringo Cutter but the small arms make it impossible. As he's trying to figure this out, Swoggle bites down on his hand causing him to retreat. Swoggle follows that up by running behind him and takes him down at the knee with a Chop Block! Homicide falls to knee and Swoggle goes around to face him, jumping up and hitting the Jumping DDT! He makes the pin!



1 . . .



2 . . .



Homicide kicks out!


Corey Graves: Just stay down! It's not like you're actually going to be the one to dethrone Tommaso Ciampa.

Mauro Ranallo: We saw him almost claim victory at Backlash-

Corey Graves: But he didn't now did he? Come on Swoggle!

Tom Phillips: Corey Graves cheering for Hornswoggle. I never thought the day would come.


King Hornswoggle exits out onto the apron and begins his ascend to the top rope. Homicide is still laying right where he was pinned as Swoggle situates himself on the top rope. He come Diving off with the Tadpole Splash but Homicide gets his knees up and Swoggle lands right flush on them! He rolls around on the mat in pain as the Notorious 187 gets back to his feet. He walks over to the corner and waits for the King to get back up to his feet. Swoggle starts to recover and rises up but he doesn't have much awareness of his surroundings. He doesn't realize that Homicide is waiting for him and he runs and catches him with the Running Flying Knee! Swoggle gets flipped upside down and lands on his head but Homicide is there to turn him over and make the pin!



1 . . .



2 . . .



3 . . .



Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Homicide!



Homicide gets his hand raised in victory. He looks more than satisfied with this win and he motions to the crowd for the title. He heads off to the back as the show rolls on.




We head backstage where we see Renee Young with a card held up in her hands, awaiting to present to the UWF Universe.



Renee Young: Scheduled for tonight, Austin Theory was booked to do an interview for the UWF Universe tonight however has declined, and issued the following statement;

“Dear the idiotic UWF Universe,

Tonight I’m gonna flatten John Cena like a tank, that’s all you need to hear from me and there’s not a lot more to say about it. It’s because I’ve got skill, it’s because I train hard, it’s because I apply myself. It’s because I’m cut from the cloth that doesn’t need to throw themselves off a building to put on something notable. But that’s just a theory-” yada-yada.

Us at the UWF have found this to be a great insult to our company morals, and considering the downward trajectory and lack of care towards his own image we’d personally like to invite Theory again next week to comment on Jon Moxley, as he has been avoiding this quite consistently, as well as apologise.

We head elsewhere.




The Revolution graphic flashes before we are taken to a nondescript backstage area where Dean Ambrose appears in the shot.



DEAN AMBROSE
So last week, I caught that loudmouth Austin Theory flapping his gums about the so-called "hardcore legends" of the UWF's past and you know what? That felt like a shot off of the bow, man. Anyone who's anyone in this company knows that the first title I ever held was the Hardcore Championship and while I'm not exactly what I'd consider a legend in this business, the fact is most men who want to talk about being great athletes in this company just can't keep my fucking name out of their mouths. I mean, Hell, you have some of them outright admitting the reason they want to pin me to the canvas is to make a name off of my reputation and if that doesn't tell you something about how important I still am, even after spending six years sucking my meals through a straw, shit –

A pause for dramatic effect. Dean runs a hand over his short-haired head, then gives it a shake.

But that's also the problem, isn't it? The people in these locker rooms, they've gotten lazy and complacent. Boys like Austin Theory would've been chewed the fuck up and spat the fuck out back in my heyday, just a wad of chum left drifting in the bloodied water. But these days the boys in the back have all gotten soft. And I don't know what it is that's made it that way. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I haven't been around dispensing ass-kickings, but I've been watching the UWF Network and I've seen the reigns of some of the more violent psychopaths to pass through these halls. Think of people like the Horror King, Vinny Marseglia, who literally beat a man until his heart stopped in the ring. Or the man he beat, Larry Sweeney, no stranger to violence his own damn self. Vampiro and Jimmy Jacobs. Kevin Steen, who – gotta give him credit – put me in a fucking coma and then went on to set a record with the UWF Championship.

Ambrose smirks.

All of those men are gone. Ghosts of what feels like a long-lost past. And now they've been replaced by these soft, purist "athletes" like Theory and tryhards like C.M. fuckin' Punk. God damn, if Cody or Austin or even Steen himself could see the mess that this company has become, they'd be firing on all cylinders to come back here and clean the place up. But instead, the only thing the UWF has for a standard bearer is, well, me. Good ol' Dean Ambrose. And frankly? I don't give a fuck. As long as there's a face to punch and a cheque to cash at the end of the night, it doesn't matter one bit what happens at head office.





John Cena theme hit's the arena when the Fans Cheers for him in mostly Salutes through them



He's salutes to the UWF Universe

Tony Chimel: From West Newbury, Massachusetts weighing at 260lbs John Cena

Cena Salutes to his fans and runs straight down towards the ring and slides in and runs back in fourth of the ropes and throws his hat and raise up Chain gang pose and takes off his shirt and hands the Ref his chain gang necklace.

A slow rumbling bass of Bad With Phones’ “Living & Surfing” hits the PA like a wave rumbling onto the shore as suddenly electronic drums come chopping through like knives to the chagrin of fans in attendance. Austin Theory must shortly be arriving.

1-2,

1-2,

1-2,

ah-ha.



Tony Chimel: On the way to the ring, from McDonough, Georgia, weighing in at 220 lbs, Austin Theory!

He’s here, Austin is in the house, blokes, he’s here. Everyone wishes he wasn’t though, but the smug face of the man of many theories comes through the curtain like a bad reminder, and we’re about to get some bread. This bread. A fight, or something. Wow, look at that, the guys already in the ring from all that talk. What an athlete, so quick, so agile, what a blue chip god, huh? He awaits this one to get underway.

VS

John Cena lock up with Theory as they to a test of strength and Cena over power Austin. But Austin kick Cena in the stomach and he grab his arm. He whips him to the ropes and John Cena bounces off the ropes as Theory Dropkick him. Theory flex his muscle as Cena smile and he nod his head. They tie up again and then Cena gets Austin in a headlock. Cena squeezed it tightly as Austin tried to get out and he managed to get out. He push Cena into the ropes and Cena bounces off the ropes. Cena clothes Austin and Austin is down. Cena hook the leg as the referee counts.

1

Austin quickly kick out as he gets passed and Cena wages his hand. He waves it in front of his face at Austin Theory as he tells him he can't see him and Austin runs at him. They both trade ounces back and forth until Cena knock him down. Austin get up as Cena pick him up and carry him on his back. Austin elbow him as he slip out from behind him and grab Cena. He roll him up from behind and the referee counts while he holds the tights.

1...

2....

And a kick out. Austin got upset as he complained to the referee and the referee told him that Cena kicked out.

Cena turns him around and he whips him to the turnbuckle as he goes over to the turnbuckle. Austin tries to fight back as Cena blocks it and he hits him with a right hand. Cena climbs up on the turnbuckle and he starts punching Austin while the fans count.

1....

2.....

3.....

4.....

5......

6......

7.....

8.....

9.......

and 10.

Austin falls down as Cena runs to the ropes and he bounces off the ropes. He hits the Five Knuckle Shuttle elbow drop on Austin as Cena gets pumped up and he waits for Theory to get up. Austin gets up and he turns around as Cena waves his hand. You can't see me as He pick up Austin and carries him on his back. He is about to hit the Attitude Adjustment when Austin rakes him in the eyes and Cena drops him. Austin grabs Cena as he hits him with the Theory of Everything and he hooks the leg.

1...

2,,,,

and another kick out

Austin can't believe it as he holds his head with both of his hands before he picks up John. He throws punches at him as Cena responds back with punches of his own and Cena gets the upper hand when he hits a huge right hand. Cena goes to Austin and he takes his leg as he places him into the STFU. Theory is screaming in pain as Cena puts on more pressure and the referee asks Austin if he gives up. Austin shook his head no. Then Cena tries to put more pressure as Austin manages to see the ring rope in front of him and he grabs it. The referee tells Cena to let go and he lets go as Austin gets up. Austin pushes Cena into the referee as Cena hits the referee and the referee is down. Austin goes outside of the ring and he looks underneath for a weapon as he finds a brass knuckle. He slides back in as Cena tries to wake up the referee and he turns around. Austin takes a page from Old Cena's aggressive playbook when he smashes him with the brass knuckles and Cena is knocked out. The referee is finally awake as Austin throws the brass knuckles outside and he hooks the leg. The referee begins the count.

1.....

2...

Eve shows up out of nowhere as she jumps on the ring ropes and the referee stops the count. He goes to her and Eve tries to explain to him about Austin. Austin gets up and he is mad as he screams at her to get out of her. Cena gets up after waking up and Austin turns around as he grabs him. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment as he hooks the leg and the ref begins the count.

1.....

2.....

and a kick out.

Cena goes to the referee and he tells him that must be a mistake as Austin gets up. He pushes Cena into the referee again as Cena stops himself from hitting the referee and he turns around. As soon as he turns around, Austin grabs him and lifts him on his shoulders. Austin Theory hits the ATL on Cena as Cena is knocked out and Theory hooks the leg.

1........

2........

and 3,

Your winner by pinfall: Austin Theory!!!



Aftermath, Austin takes a selfie with the fallen Cena and he leave smiling after his victory while Cena is being attended to by medical.




The titantron would cut to Renee Young standing in front of the UWF Interview area, she would be looking at the camera and smiling.





Renee Young: Hey UWF fans, Renee Young here. As we continue on the road to Final Battle I wanted to grab a man looking to make his third successful title defence at Final Battle, Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome UWF Intercontinental Champion, Tommaso Ciampa.



Ciampa and Wardlow would walk on from the side, Ciampa clutching Goldie tight to his chest as if Renee was going to steal it from him, in the back is Wardlow who keeps an eye out for any undesirables.



Renee Young: Ciampa thank you for joining me, its been a while since we talked, I think just after winning the Intercontinental Championship at the Rumble and since then you’ve faced a wealth of….



Shaking his head, Ciampa would interrupt with his mic.



Ciampa: I know you’re going to say i’ve had a wealth of challengers, no i’ve faced two people for this. My first defense I showed everyone Shinsuke was a false king, my second I beat two men determined to prove they were better than me and I still beat them, now I need to listen to Homicide bitch and moan that I didn’t beat him.



Renee would speak up.



Renee Young: Technically you didn’t need to accept the challenge from him.



Scoffing, Ciampa would put Goldie on his shoulder.





Ciampa: What and let him claim that I was scared to face him, that I wasn’t a real man or champion. I might not like the idea of handing off opportunities but i’ll gladly put that pitbull in his place, plus Danhausen was too busy with King of the Ring and as long as he holds onto his medal, well I know who my next challenger is going to be.



Nodding, Renee would continue.



Renee Young: Moving away from Final Battle, you’ll be facing Dean Ambrose tonight. Now Ambrose has recently stormed back onto the UWF scene. A legend round these parts, the two of you have been compared and….



Once again Ciampa would interrupt Renee.



Ciampa: Yeah i’ve heard the comparisons and before I didn’t believe them, sure there was a flash here and there but I just thought people linked us because we’re two tough sons of bitches but then I watched that Street Fight and I saw part of me in him. He inflicted the pain on Orton and he enjoyed it. Just like how I like to. I saw him get up after attacks that would knock down any other man and keep them out, maybe permanently. Just like me. The comparisons are there but don’t get it twisted Dean, you might be like me but you aren’t me.



Ciampa would rework Goldie on his shoulder.



Ciampa: I’ve been on a different level these past few months and no one on this roster has managed to match me. I am the standard bearer for this whole company and while the people out there might not like hearing it, they know deep down I am right. Theres a reason i’m Intercontinental Champion and its because I go out there and do what needs to be done, I’M THE DAMN, BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT. I. DO and tonight Dean Ambrose is going to learn why and at Final Battle, Homicide, i’m going to show you why again.



With that Ciampa and Wardlow would walk off, Warldow nodding at Renee as they did. Renee would look at the camera.



Renee Young: Well as always, the ever confident Tommaso Ciampa. Tonight he faces off against Dean Ambrose. Will he take down the Death Rider or will Ambrose be too much for the Psycho Killer. Keep watching to find out.



With that the titantron would fade from Renee.




The scene from Revolution fades into an outdoor scene, where we are shown the exterior of Ripley's Aquarium of Canada, located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The shot lingers here only for a moment before it fades again, coming back to a family of four: a father, a mother and their two daughters.







As the scene fully fades in, we can fully make out the features of our walking family and can see it's indeed the Copeland family, on a fun family outing.



Youngest Daughter

Do you really get to spend the whole entire day with us, Daddy?



The smile on Edge's face doesn't even begin to fade as he responds.



Edge

Of course! Daddy would never lie, ever. He gets the WHOLE entire week off to rest up for his big match, so I'm taking a break from working hard to spend time with my three favorite ladies!



Edge reaches down and ruffles the hair of his youngest, who is holding onto his pant leg to keep from getting separated from the group...but also because it's been some time since they've spent a day together like this. She intends to make the most of it. As her eyes widen at all of the fish surrounding them, the group stops to best plan their attack.



Beth Phoenix

Ok, everyone! There's a LOT of different exhibits we can hit today, so let's figure out which ones we should do first. I know we talked about that Planet Jellies exhibit...but it's about jellyfish and not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Still sounds really neat, since it has different colored displays. There's also the Rainbow Reef, which has creatures from the other side of the world. Then there's also...



Beth trails off as she thinks she hears something from her oldest daughter to her left.



Beth Phoenix

I'm sorry sweetie, did you say something? I was caught up in going over the different exhibits...



Oldest Daughter

I said I wanna see the sharks



Edge

You know honey, it must've just been the wind. Our little dreamer here knows that if she wants something, all she has to do is say so. There must not be anything interesting here for her then...



Edge wears a little smirk as he feigns deafness towards his oldest daughter. With a tightened grip and new resolve on her face, she speaks, this time at the same volume as her family.



Oldest Daughter

I really wanna see the sharks. I think it's called the Dangerous Lagoon here...



Edge's eyes light up at the suggestion and before anyone else can interject, he jumps at the idea.



Edge

Oh...We are DEFINITELY going to see the sharks first. After that, you can take me anywhere else in this wonderful place, I'll even go diving with the helpers if you want, EC3 and his health clauses be damned. My little dreamer wants to see the sharks, we're going to see the sharks!



Edge peers around Beth to flash his oldest a big old smile as the family has come to their decision and make their way to the Dangerous Lagoon exhibit. The family stands on the conveyor belt that takes them through the exhibit, as they go through a tunnel through the aquarium. Fish swim above them and on their sides as everywhere they look its bustling with life. Both Edge and his oldest daughter are mesmerized by the largest shark in there, which starts on the case to their side before swimming above them directly over to the other side. The youngest lets out a sound of amazement at the sheer size of it as it does so. Edge begins to mumble.







Edge

...this is perfect.



The family's trance breaks as they all look to Edge, who after saying this is seen putting his phone back into his pocket. Beth wearing a smile at his slip up in keeping his thoughts to himself. Edge realizes that what he thought was inaudible was quite audible and his now on the spot to explain himself.



Edge

This day is just perfect. Work has been great, but when work is great, it means I'm spending less time with you all. I forgot just how...nice it can be to step back. I know you are all adjusting to my new schedule and honestly, I am too. But everytime I get to see even one of your smiles, it makes it all worth it in the end. And today, we're all smiling and having fun. It's perfect. I love you all.



As he says this, he scoops his two daughters up into his arms and rests his head on Beth's shoulder as she embraces the group. The camera shot has been tracking them on the conveyor belt and by now, is staring at their backs as they fade into the distance, their day continuing to be one filled with family, fun, and plenty of fish as Revolution rolls on.




VS



The crowd is on their feet as the horns blare throughout the arena and multiple bright blue lasers begins to shine from the top of the ramp. The “Big Dog” Roman Reigns steps out from behind the curtains as the fans begins to boo in unison causing the arena floor to shake and tremble with murmurs. Reigns is followed by his special council Paul Heyman. Paul Heyman is holding the holding the UWF Championship firmly while duo the duo stare at crowd down and eat the boo’s for a meal.



A tremendous amount of pyro shoots out of the stage from behind the trio as continue to make their way down the ramp. Roman Reigns leads the duo down the ramp but unbeknownst to him, Eddie Kingston comes running out from the back and runs him down! roman is blasted in the back of the head and rolls down the ramp! Eddie Kingston is not here to just sit by and wait his turn, he's here to make an impact. He starts laying in punches to the Big Dog but Roman's size and strength allow him to simply shove him off of him. Eddie Comes comes right back on the attack but gets kicked in the gut and thrown into the steel steps! Roman looks down at Eddie, appalled that he would have the nerve to attack him from behind. He shoves him out of the way before he grabs the steel steps and removes the top half. He waits as Eddie gets back to his feet and runs at him with the steps. What he doesn't expect is Eddie to go low and dropkick his knee causing Roman to fall face first into the steel steps he was carrying!


Mauro Ranallo: This match has yet to officially start but that's not going to stop these two from going all out.

Corey Graves: What are you talking about? Roman is simply trying to defend himself from this vicious thug. UWF was really turning things around before he came back but look at this, it's chaos now!


Eddie walks over and grabs Roman by his hair and puts his forehead in the corner of the steps. He starts to just drags his head over it to cause him to start bleeding. Eddie's looking proud of himself as he shit talks roman. He picks him up and goes to throw him into the ring but Roman grabs him and lifts him up, running with him over his should before he rams him right through the barricade! The fans are loving this and Heyman looks to be in shock from all this chaos. Both men are down but Heyman snaps out of his shock and walks over to hype up the big man. Roman comes to and grabs Eddie, bringing him out of the carnage he just made. He's getting ready to throw him into the ring to start the match but Eddie ends up shoving him forward and ramming him face first into the steel ring post! His head bounces off the post and a sickening thud can be heard in the arena. Eddie laughs, some blood can be seen in his mouth, maybe some internal injuries from going through the barricade.


Mauro Ranallo: A bloody smile from the Mad King has got this crowd roaring.

Corey Graves: He's a psychopath. Where the hell is security?

Tom Phillips: EC3 loves chaos so I wouldn't be surprised if he's keeping them at bay.


Kingston picks up Roman and goes to toss him into the ring but he gets a better idea. Instead he brings him over to the announcers table and slams his head over it before removing the cover. He about to take out the monitors but decides fuck it, they'll only cause more harm. Eddie runs his thumb across his throat and puts Roman's head between his legs. He mocks Roman by doing that "Ooh-Ahh" taunt before a powerbomb. He goes to lift him up but Roman sends him up and over instead with a Back Body Drop! Eddie splats over the floor and Roman stumbles over to the apron. He's catching his breath as Eddie starts to get up. Roman comes at him and connects with a Superman Punch to stun him! He then kicks him in the gut and shows Eddie how it's done. He lifts him up for the Powerbomb but the Mad King starts fighting back with punches to the head. Roman keeps him upright but is feeling the effects as he stumbles around. Eddie brings down his elbow right onto the head of Roman and it knocks him clean out! Only problem is he falls forward the puts Eddie through the table!


Mauro Ranallo: Eddie Kingston has come crashing through our table!

Corey Graves: Get this piece of trash away from me!

Tom Phillips: Roman appears to be out as well. This match has yet to officially begin and I'm not sure either man will actually be able to wrestle.


With both men down, the ref isn't sure what to do. He check on both competitors while the crowd chant's for Eddie. You can see the Man King start to come to but Roman is the quicker to get to his feet. He stumbles over to the ring and falls down to his knees, keeping his arm on the table to help him stay upright. Eddie has crawled towards Phillips and uses his suit to help him get to his feet.


Corey Graves: Way to stay impartial Phillips! Kingston better be glad he didn't come near my thousand dollar suit.


Roman climbs into the ring and tells the ref to ring the bell and count Eddie out. The ref goes ahead and calls for the bell.


DING DING DING


Eddie seems to come alive at the bell and limps over to the ring. He slides in at the 4 count and Roman just looks at him with anger in his eyes. Both men already look like they've been through a grueling 20 minute match as they meet in the middle of the ring and start to hockey fight! Roman gets the better of the exchange what with his power advantage but Eddie brings his head in and bites his nose! Roman shoves him away to create some separation. He runs up on Kingston with another Superman Punch but Eddie ducks it and spins around, clobbering Roman with a Spinning Back Fist! Roman goes down but someone comes into the ring behind him. He gets spun around and kicked in the gut before he's planted with a Batista Bomb!


DING DING DING DING DING

Tony Chimel: Here is your winner by disqualification, Eddie Kingston!


Eddie is laid out and Batista mounts him and just starts clobbering him with punches to the face.


Corey Graves: Good! get his ass!

Mauro Ranallo: What on Earth is Batista doing out here?


Officials come running out from the back but Batista has already busted Eddie wide open. Where exactly, we can;'t be sure because his face is all busted up. There's blood on the animal's fists as he's pulled off of Kingston and lead away from the ring. The crowd is booing him heavily but Batista just smiles and walks off to the back, telling the refs to not even think about touching him. The rest of the officials check on Eddie as the show moves on.




The titantron switches from the UWF Revolution graphic to a live feed from backstage where Renee Young is standing by.



Young: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time... CM Punk and the returning Sweet n' Sour Incorporated, Larry Sweeney and Kyle O'Reilly. So nice to see you guys!

Mr. 12 Large bursts into the frame like the fire from Backdraft, sick of being cooped up and desperate to suck up all the air time he can. The Diabetic Dragon is right there beside him, look shredded but pale. Those Canadian winters are long and tragic, and he's wearing every bit of it in his cold-blooded stare. Punk brings up the rear, happy to let his teammates have their moment.

Young: I have to say, when Punk said he knew where to look to find some help to take on Sami Zayn this week, I sure wasn't expecting to see you guys back in action. How long has it -

Kyle answers before she can even ask.



KO'R: Seven-hundred, eighty-one thousand, nine hundred minutes. Seven-hundred, eighty-one thousand, nine hundred so clear. Seven-hundred, eighty-one thousand, nine hundred minutes, how do you measure... how do you measure bone-deep, blood-red vendetta? Huh? Huh Sami? How do you measu -

Renee pulls the mic away cause Kyle's screaming in it.

Young: Haha... ooooookay. Love the Rent reference, though. Happy Pride, by the way.

KO'R: Yeah, it's about to fucking be.

Again, Renee pulls away cause you can't swear like that on TV. Larry steps front and center to take over.

Sweeney: What my ol' pal Kyle O'Reilly is trying to convey here is that the boys are back in town, Mama! Ahahahaha! Sweet n' Sour's rolling through town for the Aftertaste Tour, and Renee, it's long overdue and not a moment too soon because like Kyle just said, it's been a hot minute since the UWF Universe got some good eatin'. By God, I've heard their tummy's a' rumblin as the appetite for a good, greasy, home-cooked meal grew. The wrestling fans of today are starving for want of the classics and tonight's their lucky tonight cause that's exactly what's on the menu! Ahahaha! Ya gotta love it! I say ya gotta love it? Do you love it Renee? Let's feeeeeeeeeeeeel that love, sugar!

Young: Aw, Larry. I'm gonna assume that's a good-faith, non-gender specific term of endearment and not some casual workplace harassment cause it's such a special occasion.

Vanilla Bar comes forward again.

KO'R: You wanna see some workplace harassment? Wait till our friggin match starts cause we're gonna straight up murder Sami Zayn tonight. Like, you have no idea how much I've been looking forward to this. Sami Zayn and his stupid, fugly, Scottish girlfriend took our tag team titles. Not only that, they got us booted from the whole gosh dang division. You know how quick we got fired after that? Real fast. Like a week later. It sucked. It sucked eggs.

Sweeney: And even though Becky Lynch isn't here to get her dose of Sweet n' Sour revenge, we're happy to serve up two scoops to Sami to make up for it. As for these new jabronies he's got taggin' along - remind me their names again?

KO'R: People with masks' names are secrets.



Sweeney: Ah, I was just being polite. I don't give a rat's cat what they call themselves, they look like they aren't much more than a cupla lowlife crooks with those get-ups, and that horse just ain't gonna ride now that the sheriff's are back in town.

Honestly, I'da thought Ethan Carter mighta had the sense the cut ties with a schmuck like Zayn. Imagine my surprise when Punk here rang us up asking for a hand in taking out the trash! Ha, I says, that don't confront me none! We're happy to do the UWF Universe a good turn when it means we get to put hands on that puny Canucklehead.

And who knows? Maybe EC3 sees the ratings take a bump like Ol Uncle Larry likes before a match and sends some lucrative contracts our way. We ain't too busy to take a look!

KO'R: We super aren't.

Sweeney: Always happy to entertain an offer!

KO'R: The healthcare back home is free but the insulin isn't. How does that even make sense?

Sweeney: Just let us know! Phone number's still the same!

KO'R: Text. Email. Fax. Carrier pigeon. Magical dove. Whatever.

Young: Riiiiiiiight well I'm sure you guys have a match to get ready for so I'm just gonna have to let you go do that.

Renee ushers the Sweet n' Sour Inc. boy out of the frame. Punk just shrugs at Renee and follows them down the hall. Revolution continues elsewhere!




Following the close of the last segment, the live feed cuts out and begins to play a pre-recorded video. The video opens up in what appears to be a bar and the words “Recorded Wednesday of last week” briefly flash up at the bottom of the screen. There is a good crowd in attendance it seems as the camera moves through an array of bodies before reaching the main bar unit. Through the sound of various shouting and singing voices, ‘The Tequila Song’ can be heard playing, which in turn explains why Danhausen can be seen doing the famous dance on the top of the bar unit, much to the joy of those surrounding him.

Danhausen
Da da da daaa da! Dadadadada da!…

A mish mash of “Danhausen!” and “Tequila!” chants follow to the end of the chorus as Danhausen suddenly drops back down to the main floor, almost losing his balance in the process. The KOTR semi finalist appears to be a bit tipsy as grabs a drink from nearby and begins entertaining conversation from some of the fellow patrons in his current vicinity.



Drunk Derek
Hey, Manhausen? I gott…

Danhausen
Danhausen!

Drunk Derek
Huh??

Danhausen
It’s Danhausen, not Mandarkhausen, please go on!

Drunk Derek
My bad… I gotta ask you bro, mano e mano, heart to heart, are you, like, completely genuine?

Danhausen
What?? What do you mean?

Drunk Derek
Like, are you real? Is this who you are all the time? Cause, I think you are, but I know some of the boys have some some moon landing vibes about you.

Danhausen
Oh yes, Danhausen is the real thing he assures you. One day Danhausen hopes to be able to tell the whole population the tale of how he came from someplace far away and left his mark on this world. Danhausen is yet to do this however because he is still learning various everyday aspects, such as why does laundryhausen spin the way it does when it’s in that circular contraption of some sort? And why does this red and white beveragehausen he has taste so much better every time he raises the glass to consume it?

Drunk Derek
I can answer that one for you bro, because you’re drunk!

Danhausen
What??

Drunk Derek
I said it’s cause you’re drunk! Say bro, why do you keep saying ‘What?’ like Stone Cold Steve Austin does? I heard a rumor he was coming back, do you know if it’s true?

Danhausen
Just because Danhausen works for Ultimate Wrestling doesn’t mean he hangs out with any of the inhabitants or knows any of the gossiphausen. Yes, Danhausen exchanged pleasantries with Steve Cold before Wrestlemania, but really he can’t say either way if he is indeed coming back. Deep down Danhausen hopes not, because as much as he likes him and his antics, he’d rather not have more potential road obstacles in the way of his path to eternal glory.

Danhausen takes one final gulp of his drink before putting his hand on Drunk Derek’s shoulder to address him more directly.

Danhausen
But tell you what, if you order Danhausen another one of these very nice, very tasty beveragehausens, he will let you in on a big Ultimate Wrestling secret that he does know about. Deal?

Drunk Derek
Deal! Barkeep, two more Miami Vice’s on my tab please!

The nearby bartender nods and goes to prepare the drinks order as a couple of other patrons join Danhausen and Drunk Derek and offer them a shot of tequila from the tray they are carrying. Both happily accept and together everyone does a ‘cheers’ motion as the shots are downed and shortly afterwards the new drinks order is ready. Drunk Derek grabs them and passes the one in his left hand to Danhausen.

Drunk Derek
Here you go bro, now what’s this big Ultimate Wrestling secret? We gotta know!

Danhausen
Alright, brace yourselves because it’s a big one! Are you ready?…

Drunk Derek and the rest of the surrounding patrons all nod and go ‘yeah’ in anticipation.

Danhausen
Alrighty… the secret is that…. Danhausen……… is going to become the next Ultimate Wrestling Sovereign Ruler!!!!

A loud cheer then bellows out which Danhausen laps up. Despite being cheated out of what he thought was going to be juicy inside UWF information, Drunk Derek shrugs his shoulders and joins in with the cheers as a gulp of drinks then follows from all. As the cups lower though, one of the patrons that joined Danhausen and Drunk Derek has a follow up point to add to the mix.

Sensible Sharon
Hey, Danhausen, you are remembering that the tournament match against Edge is tomorrow evening right? Don’t wanna see you get too carried away tonight…

Danhausen lowers his glass to follow up on the question.

Danhausen
What?? No, it’s next week that Danhausen has to face off with that glorified loser again, right?

Sensible Sharon
No dude, the match is tomorrow in the arena, we’ve all got tickets for the show.

With a raised eyebrow due to him thinking it’s a bluff, Danhausen places his drink on the table and goes to roll up his sleeve to check his Apple watch. He appears to also do a finger wiggling motion as a sign that he’s not falling for the bait, but when he looks down at the watch face and sees the date and time listed, his eyes whiten and widen, making it appear that he has sobered up rapid…

Danhausen
Oh fu….dgestickles! Erm, regrettably Danhausen has to go now, but he thanks you all for keeping him company on this fine evening, and he sincerely hopes that this red and yellow devil juice won’t come back to bite him in the backsidehausen. Love That Danhausen, see you tomorrow!

As he goes to get up from the table, Danhausen inadvertently knocks over some of the drinks that were resting there before he appears to quickly make haste for the nearest bar exit door as the camera zooms in on the somewhat befuddled group of patrons before it fades to black. The live show feed then resumes with Danhausen mid-facepalm motion as the camera zooms out and we see him in the backstage interview area with Renee Young standing by ready to question him on what just transpired.

Renee Young
Erm, Danhausen, is now an okay time to ask you about what we just saw in that video clip from last week?

Danhausen
*sighs* Sure Reneehausen, why not…

Renee Young
….. Well, how did it come about and do you think it was a factor in you coming up short in the King of the Ring semi-final match against Edge?

Danhausen removes his hand from his face and attempts to recompose himself somewhat in order to answer the question.

Danhausen
It came about because there was not a lot else for Danhausen to do in the town that the show emanated from last week. Danhausen was too excited to say goodnighthausen early and so he had to find a way to entertain himself and the local fanhausens. In that regard it was mission accomplished, and maybe that red and yellow devil juice did have a greater negative effect on Danhausen than he initially thought it would, but the bottom linehausen is that Danhausen fell short last week and will now have to wait another whole year in order to try and become Ultimate Wrestling Sovereign Ruler. Danhausen had sneaking suspicionhausens that Sledge would try and do something underhanded to prevail in the battle, but Danhausen simply didn’t have enough power on the night to stop him. Danhausen can now only hope that Sledge will become fish food at Last Dancehausen as punishment for his foul actions.

Renee Young
I assume by ‘Last Dancehausen’ you are referring to Final Battle, which I guess leads me on to what you think your plans might now be for this event?

Suddenly Danhausen seems to perk up a bit.

Danhausen
Oh well Danhausen still has this awesome little trinket in his possession you see…

At this point Danhausen reaches deep into his pocket and fishes out the UWF Prime Time Medal.

Danhausen
So in spite of his shortcomings last week, Danhausen still reigns supreme as the Cryme Tyme Medal holder, and he knows that in order to continue parading this prize for all the fanhausens to see that he must defend it with pride and honor. It’s quite an easy feat actually because that’s something that a large chunk of the Ultimate Wrestling roster is lacking in, but as last week showed, anything is possible on this show, good and bad. So know that Danhausen will not be taking any medal challengers lightly when they step up to the platehausen.

Renee Young
So are you effectively issuing an open challenge for the Prime Time Medal at Final Battle?

Danhausen
Sort of, but now that Danhausen thinks about it, there is one Ultimate Wrestling roster member in particular that he has in fact crossed paths with before who he hopes will be the one to come out at Last Dance and show that he’s actually capable of backing up his big mouth and giving Danhausen a proper challenge. Because the last time Danhausen faced off against this gentlemen, he found himself feeling somewhat underwhelmed after he was led to believe that he was in the presence of a ‘big deal.’ But perhaps the prospect of Danhausen’s medal being up for grabs might prompt him to up his gamehausen a bit…

Renee Young
Well, who is it?...

Danhausen shrugs his shoulders and puts the Prime Time Medal around his neck as he begins to walk off set, but as he does he starts to whistle what appears to be the tune to ‘The Time Is Now’ as Renee looks on with an interested expression before the camera feed cuts to a commercial break.




Chimel: The following contest is a Non-Title Match and is set for one-fall!



"My Own Summer (Shove It)" hits the arena PA and the fans hit their feet. While the man whom this theme represents was always a divisive figure, his return to the UWF ring is hotly anticipated. The cameras key in on the stage as Ambrose's 'tron plays, but he's not there. After a few long, awkward moments, the cameras eventually find Ambrose walking through the crowd.



Chimel: Introducing first, from Cincinnati, Ohio, weighing 224 pounds, Dean AMBROSE!

Ambrose hops the barricade and enters the ring, then pulls off his vest and tosses it to the crowd. He performs some pre-match stretches ahead of the match.




As Psycho Killer blasts over the speakers Ciampa walks out onto stage, flanked by Wardlow. The crowd boos the pair loudly, Ciampa hold the Intercontinental Championship in the air and shouts "THIS IS MY MOMENT"

Chimel: And his opponent, making his way to the ring and being accompanied by Wardlow from Boston, Massachusetts weighing in tonight at 201lbs he is the UWF Intercontinental Champion The "Psycho Killer" Tommaso Ciampa.

Keeping the championship held in the air, Ciampa quickly moves his empty hand down and a black and gold pyro bursts out of the stage as the pair makes their way to the ring. Wardlow making sure his boss doesn’t get harassed by any of the fans. As the pair reach the ring Wardlow sits on the ropes and lets Ciampa in. Ciampa climbs a turnbuckle and holds the championship aloft, allowing a single spotlight to hit it and let it shine.

Ciampa then jumps down from the turnbuckle and stares at his championship, like Gollum staring at the one ring, he then touches the centre and stares for a second. He would then hand the Intercontinental Championship to Wardlow, telling him to take care of her. Ciampa then gets in his corner.

Tony heads out of the ring and after ensuring both competitors are ready, the Referee calls for the match to start.


VS

DING DING


The bell sounds off. Ciampa and Ambrose march right up to each other, chest-to-chest in the dead center of the squared circle. The energy in the building rises - there's an undeniable electricity buzzing. Even without a title belt on the line or anything more at stake than some bragging rights and the fight for it's own sake, there's a big match feel between as the all-timer squares off with one of the very best in the world today.


Ranallo: I've got goosebumps, gentlemen. I think we're about to see something special.

Graves: Special? I don't know Mauro. I'm anticipating something more akin to a twelve-car-pile-up than a mat classic.


Corey's probably right. There isn't even an attempt at a classic lock-up to kick things off. The two blood-thirsty brutes just start slugging it out, each using their off hand to hook the back of their opponent's head for some dirty boxing while their right fists unload.

The fans spring to their feet, hootin' and hollerin' as Dean and Tommaso beat the tar out of each other. Fists are flying fast and furious, blurs of knuckle and tape and spit. Bless his heart, the Official tries to restore order and talk some sense into the fellas, feebly reminding them that closed-fist strikes are technically illegal. There's no breaking through to these thugs, though.

Their donnybrook eventually slows into a dag nasty game of shot-for-shot, initiated by Ambrose daring Ciampa to hit with his best after backing up the Sicilian Psycho with a particularly hefty forearm shiver. Tommaso obliges, winding up and then uncorking a wild haymaker that lands flush on the Death Rider's jaw.

Dean's leg wobbles. He pivots and stumbles, catching himself on the top rope. The 'Nati Native takes a second, cracks his jaw from side to side and shakes it off before wheeling back around to blast an awaiting Ciampa with an enormous hook that clips just behind the ear.


Phillips: Oh my goodness! What a blow by Ambrose! Ciampa might be out on his feet!

Ranallo: Now I'm starting to wonder if this match will even last five minutes! It's like a game of Pogs and these boys only brought Slammers!


The Intercontinental Champion is sent staggering across the canvas. He's saved from falling to the floor by the ropes - he uses them to bounce back with extra speed as he goes head-hunting with a lariat. Ambrose cuts him off with a boot to the midsection on the way in. That doubles Tommaso over and Dean hooks both arms over the back, looking for that signature DDT of his.

Ciampa braces himself, shifting his weight down to keep himself from getting pulled in. The eight-time company world champ switches on a dime, maneuvering his arms around, grabbing around the head and twisting to drop his foe with a Neckbreaker! The back of the Psycho Killer's head slams into the mat while the top of his spine is crunched up again Dean's arm. That stuns him enough for a pin attempt...



1...



2...



Right after two, Dean sits up on his own and pulls Ciampa in for a grounded chinlock. He shakes his head "no" like he doesn't even want to win this thing yet.


Phillips: Did Ambrose just break up his own pin attempt?

Graves: Suffice it to say that the Intercontinental Champion wasn't about to be put away with a simple Neckbreaker this early on - but I think you're right.

Ranallo: Dean Ambrose has made it perfectly clear that he's most interested in fighting than competing. He's won more world championships than anybody. He's a Royal Rumble winner. A Hall of Famer. Now all he wants to do is scrape up his knuckles and taste blood.

Graves: Well if its a fight he wants, he's come to the right place. Tommaso Ciampa's as tough as they come.


Dean grinds his arm into Ciampa's throat and jaw, hoping to choke him out or crack a bone - maybe both. The pain gets to Tommaso quickly. He takes it personal. That big ol' vein in his bald head starts throbbing. He clenches a fist, letting the people know he's feeling himself. Wardlow pounds the mat in support as he watches from the apron.

Despite Ambrose's efforts to keep him down, the Intercontinental Champion manages to get his feet underneath himself, and uses that to get vertical. He shoots an elbow back into his opponent's midsection, breaking the hold. Dean stumbles back a few steps, and Ciampa whips himself around to clip him across the torso with a Rolling Lariat.

The shot knocks Dean into the cables. He catches himself to avoid bouncing back, but doesn't stay out of trouble for long. Ciampa rushes over and drives a knee lift right into his mug. That sends Ambrose careening over the top, although he's just barely able to catch himself on the apron. Wardlow circles around to that side of the ring. The Official leans over and warns the big man to keep a fair distance and not get involved.


Ranallo: Our third man in the ring keeping a keen eye on the fourth man outside of it.

Graves: Wardlow is just here to support Ciampa. There's nothing wrong with that. This Official needs to relax.


Ciampa reaches through the ropes and pulls Dean through the top and middle head-first. He hooks the Lunatic Fringe's skull under his arm, threatening the Widow's Bell DDT! Ambrose senses the danger and kicks his feet enough to get himself fully back in the ring to avoid the draping maneuver, but Tommaso uses that momentum against him. With the headlock still applied, he rolls Ambrose down to the canvas with a Small Package. The Referee slides in to count it...



1...



2...



Ambrose powers out just after two. Both men scramble to their feet, with Dean cursing Ciampa out for resorting to a roll-up. Tommaso responds by beaming him across the temple with an elbow strike. The Ohioan smiles, cause that's the stuff he likes. Ciampa's more than happy to feed him another, and then another.

A fourth consecutive shot hits hard enough to once again send Ambrose packing. The guy backs into the ropes and nearly spills out to the floor, only just managing to catch himself up in the cables. He flips himself around as he gets twisted up and slingshots back at breakneck speed.


Ranallo: Ambrose swinging for the fences with this incoming lariat!

Phillips: Ciampa better watch out!


Tommaso has the move scouted out. He slips under the arm as Dean charges at him, lands a knee in his gut, then spins him around to nail a Psycho Kutter! Ambrose's head bounces off the canvas as Ciampa sprawls to make a cover...



1...



2...



Ambrose kicks out at two! Ciampa shoots a quick, accusatory glance at the Official, who insists the count was good. The IC Champ lets it slide and gets right back to work, hauling his foe to a vertical base. It looks like he might be thinking about an Air Raid Crash, but before he can really get that going, Dean pushes him off then lands a sudden combo to keep him away.

Ciampa responds in kind, landing the Sicilian Barrage. The Lunatic Fringe retaliates with a flurry of strikes and next thing you know, there's an all-out brawl going down. It looks like two kids button mashing at the arcade playing Street Fight 2 - there's no method to madness, just weaponized limbs flying every which way.


Ranallo: Both of these maniacs are throwing anything and everything that isn't nailed down!

Graves: There's no sense of self-preservation, even with Final Battle right around the corner.


Tommaso eventually lands a more definitive hit that sees his opponent get dazed. He moves in to slap on a hold but the feisty Ambrose counters, clocking him with a haymaker, spinning him around and then slapping on a a chinlock. From there, he drops Ciampa face-first into the mat with a Headlock Driver! It's one of the oldest tools in his box - one learned from a pal back in the Switchblade Conspiracy days. It seems to do the trick, though - the Intercontinental Champion lands hard and looks pretty messed up.

Dean drops to hook a leg while the Referee counts it...



1...



Ciampa kicks out at one, hella defiantly.


Phillips: That's unreal! Tommaso Ciampa didn't even feel it!

Graves: Oh, he felt it, Phillips, and he'll being feeling it even worse tomorrow. But the Champ is about to lie down for Dean Ambrose.


The crowd pops big on account of they weren't expecting that. Ambrose sits up, shocked at first, but the dropped jaw quickly morphs into a determined grin, which, in turn, falls into a ill-intended sneer. After spitting out a mouthful of his own blood, he rolls out under the ropes to the floor and marches straight over to the time keeper's area. He snags Ciampa's title belt and throws up and over the ropes without a second thought. If his intentions weren't clear enough already, he folds up a chair and sends that in the same direction, followed by another.


Graves: What the hell is Ambrose doing?

Ranallo: I would say that Ambrose was more in his element than we've seen him since his return in that Street Fight last week. He's said that he misses those wild west days of the UWF - a more lawless time when the boys could get away with ultra violence. The Anarchy Era, if you will.

Phillips: And it looks like he wants to bring it all back again tonight.

Graves: Doesn't this maniac know he'll get disqualified?

Ranallo: I'm not sure that he even cares.


Ambrose grabs a third chair and tosses that, too. He goes looking for more plunder while Ciampa is still recovering and the Referee is having a fit. Wardlow gets in his way though, stepping between Dean and the squared circle, fists balled, looking to keep that shit in check. Ambrose ain't intimidated. The two of them have a staredown - immovable object versus unstoppable force. The Ref leans over the ropes, ordering Wardlow to keep his hands to himself and pleading with Dean to just get back in the ring.

While all that's happening, however, the Notorious 187 comes outta nowhere and slides into the ring from the other side. None of the other parties even notice him. Homicide grabs the Intercontinental Championship belt and blasts Ciampa across the back of the head just as the Psycho Killer is getting back to his feet. He goes down like a sack of bricks. The crowd gasps big time.


Phillips: Homicide just blindsided Ciampa with his own title belt!

Graves: Of course he did! It's the same old underhanded, foul play by The Cartel even after all these years. I tried to warn EC3 that this kind of thing would happen.

Ranallo: Ciampa looks like he's out cold and the Official didn't even see it happen!


Homicide gets the hell out of dodge before the Referee knows what's up. Did Ambrose see the attack? It's hard to say for sure. But he nudges past Wardlow, abandoning his mission to get some more weapons as he climbs right back into the ring. The Referee gets his attention back on the match - as far as he knows, Ciampa is still just down from that Headlock Driver. What a fool. He gets to work sliding those chairs out of the ring so Dean can't use them.

The Lunatic Fringe, meanwhile, stands over a KO'd Ciampa. He kicks at him to see if there's any fight left and finds none, so he decides to just put the dog down. Ambrose hoists Ciampa up and promptly delivers an emphatic No-Hitter a la Dave Stieb to make it academic...



1...



2...



3...



DING DING




YOUR WINNER...
DEAN AMBROSE!

Ambrose gets back to his feet, the adrenaline dump instantly setting in as he finally shows some signs of damage, clutching a rib as the Official raises his arm. He shoots a weary eye up the ramp in the direction Homicide ran off.


Phillips: For the first time since before Wrestlemania, Tommaso Ciampa has been pinned...

Ranallo: That was barnburner of a match that might have been about to go off the rails - we'll never know no thanks to that cheap shot by Homicide.

Phillips: This rivalry between the Notorious 187 and the Psycho Killer gets more vicious and violent by the week. I just hope things are finally settled next time they square off in the ring before this goes too far.

Graves: I'm positive that Ambrose would have loved for this match to get a hell of a lot bloodier - I wonder if he'll hold the interference against Homicide. I can't imagine he wanted or appreciated the assist.

Ranallo: I suppose we should offer up some credit to the Lunatic Fringe for drawing this to a quick conclusion after said assault. No doubt these two will want another crack at each other on a more even playing field some day soon.

Dean pulls away from the Referee and heads out of the ring without bothering to celebrate. Wardlow climbs into to check on Ciampa, who's just starting to come to as Revolution heads elsewhere.




As Revolution continues, the camera pans to an area of the backstage where the, “Hollywood Animal” is standing facing the camera as he wipes the knuckles on his left hand using a rag he’s holding with his right, a smile on his face.

”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: You don’t have to wait until next week for me to tell some random backstage interviewer why I did what I did out there earlier because I’m going to tell you right now. Last week, your mouth wrote a check and it’s clear to me that, while you laid out a challenge for anyone that had a problem to do something about it, you weren’t expecting someone to take you up on that offer, answer that challenge, and see if you could cash that check.

Batista chuckles as he puts the rag in the other hand and starts wiping the knuckles on his right.

”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: And even though I’m cleaning up, trust me, it was a pleasure to get your blood on my hands tonight. Because you’ve got a chip on your shoulder that irks me, Eddie. You think, not only should we be impressed that you made a return no one expected you to make, but you should get the star treatment and get to waltz into whatever part of the card you want. It doesn’t work that way, sure as hell not on my watch. You need to get to the back of the line because you’re trying to cut in front of guys like me that have more star power and deservedness than you do, not to mention I’m more vicious when I’m angry. You call yourself the, “Mad King”, and you probably are mad after I embarrassed you but as far as being a king goes? I happily unzip my fly and piss on your imaginary throne and crown.

Batista finishes wiping his knuckles as he throws the rag down.

”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: And I already know what you’re going to say in response to what I did to you, you’re going to regurgitate the same bullshit about your twenty year career but I don’t care what you have to say, I’m interested in what you’re going to do. I’m not hard to find, Eddie, so come make my fucking day.

Batista smirks as he turns and walks off as Revolution continues elsewhere.




Revolution rolls on as the scene opens on something very familiar from earlier in the show: An aquarium. However now, instead of groups of people marveling at the wildlife around them, there is a lone figure silhouetted in the dark, standing facing away from the camera. There aren't even any fish seen in the current angle, an eerie silence in the area. The figure turns towards the camera and steps closer to the camera, into the light. We can finally see the figure's features now as he begins to speak.

Edge
They say the number seven is lucky. And you know what, I'd agree with them, whomever they are. Because in only seven matches I cemented my spot in the finals of the King of the Ring. I kicked down the door of the UWF and started racking up my wins. From new blood like Eita and Theory, to the old guard like Batista. The only blemish on my record was rectified last week when I showed Danhausen that the only reason he won was because I wasn't one hundred percent focused on winning. And how it always pays to refresh your bag of tricks each week, otherwise I'll have you scouted before the bell even rings. My own blood is a miniscule price to pay to have my hand raised in victory. Hell, I've watched a man throw himself off the top of the Hell in a Cell structure of his own volition in order to win a match. That type of dedication has died here in the UWF...which is exactly why I am in prime position to win the whole damn King of the Ring. I'm sure everyone in the locker room is sick of me saying it, but they're free to grow some backbone and step up to me to shut me up, because until then I'm only proving myself right when I call out how damn soft everyone in this company has gotten ever since EC3 took control. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he did and that the UWF is still very much alive. But those old days, with all the bullshit politics happening, it was a dog eat dog world. Survival of the fittest and if you couldn't step up and take something, you were going to starve if you weren't already a golden child. Underdogs are hungry dogs and in those days I was STARVING and that hunger led me to feasts again and again. I came back to save my own legacy, but I see I also need to save the UWF's legacy. To take away the free handouts that are given to these children in the locker room and see how they react when they go hungry. I walked into my triple threat with Ciampa and Lee and showed them what true hunger, drive, and intelligence is when I came out victorious. I showed Danhausen the meaning of "Measure twice, cut once" when he thought he could just rehash our last match and escape with an easy victory. The new blood had every opportunity to shut me up for good in this tournament and all they did was fall flat each time. Hell, they could even prove me wrong on the other side of the bracket, but they still dropped the ball even when I wasn't involved. UWF's old school collides in the King of the Ring finals when I take on Shark Boy.

Edge now steps on the still moving conveyor belt as the camera cuts away to another part of the aquarium, one where we see signs of life in the case surrounding the hallway in a massive carpenter shark in the ceiling.



Edge
I respect you Shark Boy, much like I respect all of the sharks in this place. You and I are in the same boat here, pardon the pun. Your accomplishments in the UWF are basically erased too. Despite the titles sharing the same name, there's no mention of you winning the UWF Championship. We share in the same goal, whether you realize it or not. The two of us were forged in the fires of the UWF of old and one of us will withstand the test of time when the dust settles. But sadly, Shark Boy, it won't be you. Sad as it may be to put you down, I won't shed a tear though because the work will be far from over. I'm not in this for the title of King of the Ring. I'm in this for the ultimate prize of the Ultimate Wrestling Federation. The UWF Championship. Whomever is holding that title after Final Battle is on a countdown timer and at Summerslam, the clock will hit zero on their Cinderella fantasy and their glory will turn back into a pumpkin. Ripe to be smashed by me.

As Edge says this, a group of sharks can be seen on either side of the glass of him, staring the Ultimate Opportunist down through the glass.

Edge
You know, from this angle, it almost looks like I'm the one trapped and the sharks have the freedom. There's 5.7 million liters of water in this entire aquarium, yet here I stand, in this relatively small hallway surrounded entirely by water and sharks. Hell, most of the planet's surface is water, there's more room for sharks on this world than there are for humans. But the thing is, at the end of the day. I can walk out of this aquarium of my own free will and these sharks? They're stuck here. The apex predators of the sea, outsmarted and trapped by conniving humans. Even those swimming freely in the ocean only have the illusion of freedom, because at any point we can swoop down, pluck them out and put them in a glass cage. Pure one on one in open water? Shark wins every time. But humans know how to put themselves at the advantage. Your King of the Ring opponents may have faced you down in open water, but I'm not a fool. I will take all of your advantages away and leave you stranded on the beach. Hoping for even just a drop of water to come your way. But all that you'll get are the sun's unforgiving rays baking you away and the smile on my face as my hand is raised in victory over your carcass. Or...you can plop yourself right here in a nice and safe aquarium. Where we can marvel at what you COULD do out in the ocean and read up on all the things you HAVE done in the past, safe and sound. But whether it's from you locked in an aquarium for your own good, or your decaying body after you take the hard route, after Final Battle I'll be walking away from you.

By now, Edge has exited the exhibit and is pushing open the doors to the outside of the aquarium, standing at the top of the stairs. He takes a breath of the fresh air before looking into the camera to leave with his final thoughts.

Edge
Because I have a mountain to finish summiting.

And with that, Edge walks off without the camera following him. Just showing an image of Toronto at night as the scene fades away and Revolution continues on.





VS


DING DING!

Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is your main event! Introducing first…



Ugh. The crowd groans but what did they expect. Sami Zayn comes walking out onto the stage bobbing his head to his music with La Luchadora and El Generico in tow.

Tony Chimel: From Montreal Quebec, Canada and Parts Unknown respectively. Weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and forty-seven pounds. The team of the UWF World Tag Team Champion Sami Zayn and El Duo Dynamico!

The three enter the ring and each ascend a turnbuckle, posing for the booing crowd before hopping down and getting ready for the match ahead.

Tony Chimel: And the opponents. Introducing first…



SWEET N' SOUR INC.

The roof damn near blows off the building when Larry Sweeney and Kyle O'Reilly come out from the behind the curtain. It's been a year-and-a-half since "HARD TIMES" hit the PA. As the beloved team identified by the theme come out, Larry's cackling like a lunatic while Kyle shadow-boxes all the way there.

Tony Chimel: From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Weighing in at a combined weight of three hundred and eighty-three pounds. The, “Diabetic Dragon” Kyle O’ Reilly. “Mr. 12 Large” Larry Sweeney. The team of Sweet ‘n Sour Inc.!

As the heroes welcome continues, the two men enter the ring and keep hamming it up for the crowd. As they do though, their opponents blindside them.

Tom Phillips: Oh, what a cheap shot!

The crowd boos as El Duo Dynamico and Sami Zayn are putting the boots to Sweet ‘n Sour. Soon they start chanting for CM Punk but after a moment, the former UWF Champion still hasn’t come out.

Mauro Ranallo: Where on Earth is the, “Second City Saint”?

Suddenly the tron comes on and it’s seen CM Punk is laid out in an area of the backstage. A random member of the backstage staff finds him and calls for help as Punk is soon surrounded by officials and medics.

As things head back to the ring, O’Reilly is kicked out of it as he rolls to the floor as Sweeney is lead to his feet, Generico and La Luchadora each holding one of his arms at bay as Sami Zayn connects with a Helluva Kick and Larry goes down. El Duo Dynamico head to the far corner and step through the ropes, each taking a place on the apron as Sami motions for them to ring the bell.

Corey Graves: Sweeney is down in the ring, Kyle is down on the outside of it, and Punk is incapacitated backstage and Sami wants the match to start? Even I say what the hell!

Larry sits up suddenly and starts climbing to his feet as he starts cackling like a lunatic again. ”If I wanted a kiss I would’ve called Mama Zayn! Ahahaha!” heckles Sweeney. Seeing he’s in fighting shape, the referee motions for the opening bell.

DING DING!

As the ring bell sounds, the two competitors begin circling each other. They stop and lock-up in a collar elbow tie-up as each man is pushing the other but neither is breaking ground in the early going. Larry manages to slip low and drive his shoulder into the abdomen of his opponent before returning to a vertical base as he uses the lock-up to pull Sami into a Side Headlock. Zayn punches Sweeney in the kidney and pushes him forward into the ropes. The neon pink professional stops himself by grabbing the top rope with his hands as Sami clubs him in the back of the head with a Running Forearm then drops and puts his arm up between Larry’s legs and rolls him up. The “Triple Champ” kicks out before the one count as each man goes in their own direction before they both return to a vertical base.

The “Forever Champ” lunges at “Mr. Transatlantic” in an attempt to lock-up again but Larry ducks and thrusts his shoulder into the abdomen again. As the wind is briefly taken from Sami, the Sweenster straightens back up and nearly takes the redheaded rebel’s head off with a stiff-armed maneuver.

Tom Phillips: The Larry-at!

As Zayn hits the mat, L.S. immediately starts circling him, putting the boots to him all the way.

Mauro Ranallo: The Sweeney Stomp!

After one complete revolution is made, the capacity crowd is going nuts and chanting the name of Larry Sweeney. Sami sits up but that proves to be a mistake as Larry takes a short run into the ropes and comes off of them with a Dropkick to the upper back. As Zayn is knocked forward and then falls back, Larry goes for the Sweeney Stomp again but someone grabs his ankle. As Larry turns to see who it is that did it, El Generico is standing there. As Sweeney jaw jacks at Generico, Sami is able to get up as he comes up behind his opponent and grabs him around the waist, popping his hips and falling backward with a Bridging German Suplex into a pin attempt. As the ref slides into position to begin the count, Kyle does a Baseball Slide into Sami’s face, effectively breaking up the bridge and the pin attempt. The referee tries to reprimand Kyle for getting physical in the match when he’s not the legal man, but he’s having no luck as Kyle is in one of his documented blackout fits of rage and laying in stiff kicks to the nearest shoulder of Zayn.

Corey Graves: If this hothead isn’t careful, he’s going to get his team disqualified!

Sweeney grabs Kyle and leads him away from Zayn. As the two talk for a moment, cooler heads prevail and Kyle heads to the corner and steps through the ropes and stands on the apron. Larry now turns his attention back to Sami who is sitting up holding his shoulder. Sweeney hits the ropes and comes off them as Zayn visibly winces and puts his hands up to block his face but Larry stops on a dime and delivers a punch to Zayn’s shoulder like he saw a Volkswagen Beetle drive by. Sami cries out in pain as he rises to his feet and Larry slugs him again. ”STOP HITTING MY SHOULDER!” screams the Forever Champion as Larry starts winding up windmill style, Sami screaming at him the whole time. As the winding goes on, suddenly Sami connects with a thumb to the eye then follows up with a Rising Knee to the jaw as the SnS General goes staggering back toward the ropes. As he staggers off of them, Sami kicks him in the abdomen and hooks the head, picking Larry up and planting him with a Falcon Arrow.

Zayn now starts doing the Sami Stomp as the fans boo the man with a shit eating grin on his face and Kyle is pacing the apron like the unhinging dragon he is.

Tom Phillips: What a smug bastard.

Mauro Ranallo: We’re supposed to be impartial but I agree.

Corey Graves: Of course you Sweet ‘n Sour marks hate this! Makes me sick!

After a full revolution is made, Sami drops a knee into the bridge of the nose of his downed opponent. When he gets up, Larry sits up holding his nose as Sami goes over to his corner and makes the tag to El Generico as the two men switch places. Generico runs over to Larry but trips and face plants a few inches away from him. Sweeney lowers his hands from his face and looks at the downed Generico with a puzzled look. El Generico tries to save face as he scrambles to his feet quickly and slaps Sweeney across the face. Generico now leaps toward the ropes but goes through the opening between the top and middle and crashes and burns on the outside. Larry climbs to his feet with his hands on his hips, still puzzled at what he’s seeing. Generico struggles to a vertical base and starts limping toward the ring before making a Lesnar-esque leap onto the apron. He sticks the landing but his bad leg buckles, leaving him open as Sweeney goes for a Running Big Boot but La Luchadora pushes Generico out of the way and takes the kick herself as she goes flying off the apron to the floor. Generico goes staggering into the ring post however and falls off the apron on top of her as Zayn face palms at the sight.

Generico gets up quickly, limping towards the ring. He goes for the leap again but Zayn yells at him, telling him to get in normally. He obliges and slides into the ring, then once he stands up Sami slaps him on the back, initiating the tag. Zayn leaps over the rope and Generico as he connects with what looks like a modified V-Trigger on Sweeney to knock him down. Sami starts pummeling Sweeney with mounted punches now as the crowd is booing and Kyle is seething as he’s pacing the apron some more. Suddenly…



P X
U X
X N
X K


The Big X flashes on the titanton while The Who's very best banger welcomes CM Punk to the stage.

Punk starts walking down the ramp, fire in his eyes and his head wrapped in gauze. Zayn is now standing as Sweeney starts making his way towards the corner. Punk climbs onto the apron and extends his arm as Larry makes the tag, the roof nearly coming off the arena. Punk enters the ring like a house of fire as he and Zayn start hammering away at each other with punches.

Tom Phillips: Well I wasn’t expecting this but anything can happen on Revolution!

Punk delivers a knee to the stomach now as Sami hunches over. As Punk goes to hoist him onto his shoulders, Sami slips away to his corner and tags in Generico. As Generico enters the ring, Punk starts wailing on him but Generico gives him a thumb to the eye! On the apron, Kyle has had enough and he drops down and runs over to the opposing side of the ring and starts fighting both Zayn and Luchadora. He's got heart but it's not enough as the duo start to beat him down. Sweeney ends up coming over to even the odds and the four fight up the ramp onto the stage. Zayn gets knocked out clean with a kick to the face by Kyle and he and Sweeney proceeds to beat the hell out of Luchadora. Sweeney ends up grabbing her mask and tries to unmask her. Kyle goes to grab her hands and pull them away and she lets go temporarily only to give them double Low Blows! They fall to their knees near the edge of the stage while Luchadora fixes her mask and helps Sami up. They look at their rivals and rush forward, taking them both down with double Helluva Kicks!

Things return to the ring where Generico claps for them and turns to see CM Punk in the corner. It's his turn for a Helluva Kick so he charges Punk but only ends up being scooped onto his shoulders and hit with a GTS! As he falls to the mat, Punk slaps on the Anaconda Vise! Zayn and Luchadora run down the ramp but Generic taps out almost immediately.

DING DING DING!

Tony Chimel: Here are your winners, CM Punk and Sweet ‘n Sour!

Punk has his arm raised in celebration and Zayn and Luchadora stop at the foot of the ramp. Zayn is visibly angry that he now has to fight under Punk's stipulations. Punk asks for a mic and is handed one. Generico rolls out of the ring and the trio back up to the stage while Punk smaks the mic a few times to see if it's working. He looks directly ad Zayn and utter's four words.


Punk:Hell in a Cell.

The crowd bursts into cheers while Zayn looks a bit worried. He tries to put on a brave face but it's not really working. He storms off to the back with Luchadora, Generico trailing behind as Punk smiles at them and the show moves on.




The air’s crisp today…here in Harlan, Kentucky, it may already be the precipice of Summer, but even still, the humidity is low for the day, and the heat isn’t quite overwhelming. Most of the townsfolk are doing their usual business, running around the streets, men and women alike guiding their children around the small town.

Of note, the local butchery seems to be doing quite well, with various people heading in and out of its single door on a frequent basis. That is not to mention how busy the mayor’s office seems to be, with people racing in and out, some of them carrying cameras, some simply trying to get to work. However, none are expecting the “stranger” rolling into town…

Randy Orton walks into the town dressed in his usual hoodie and jeans where he looks around at the strange town called Harlan, Kentucky.

Randy Orton: "Hmm, This town is different from Missouri. I am pretty sure I will see a whole lot of hillbillies here."

Randy looked around him. He sees a guy chewing some tobacco in his mouth and spitting it into a tin can nearby, Then he turns to look to his left. He sees an older woman sewing clothes and her young son patting the cow. They all saw him as they had never seen a strange folk like him before.

Randy Orton: "I see why Trevor Lee is the mayor of this part of town. He is lucky that they are familiar with him, But he has to worry that his town will get a change in scenery if I were to replace him as mayor of his town for sure."

Townsfolk #1: ”Hey there boy, what are ya’ doing in this part of town? I ain’t never seen anyone like you before.”

Randy Orton: "Excuse me sir, I am Randy Orton. I have been invited by the mayor himself to visit this town that he called Harlan?"

Townsfolk #1: ”Well, I am sure our mayor is busy running some errands. Ain't you that chump who got beaten by some cracker named Dean Ambrose?”

Randy Orton: "If I were you, I wouldn’t say no shame in my name. Let’s just say that the ‘cracker’ you are talking about just got lucky. But next time, I promise it will be a different result. As for your mayor, I would be glad to see your so-called ‘mayor’ Trevor Lee immediately."

Townsfolk #2: ”Well, would ya’ look at that. Look at what we’ve got over here. We have some bigshot runnin’ ‘round this part of town lookin’ for our lovely mayor.”

Of course, word spreads quickly with a call like that. Soon a crowd of people are forming around the Apex Predator, most of them seeming intrigued by the prospect of someone challenging their mayor. The once-busy shoppes of the area quickly throw up signs signaling that they’re closed as their owners race out to the street, yet still no sign of the mayor himself…

”Aw, now lookie here…”

Of course, that would be until now, as the crowd parts like the red sea upon the arrival of Mr. Trevor Lee himself, who is currently sporting a much more formal attire than what he’s been seen wearing on your television screens as of late.

Trevor Lee: ”If it ain’t the TV champion himself~! Why, I must apologize for the state of the town ‘round ya’, mista’ viper. If I had known we were to be expectin’ company, I’d have gone an’ organized some big ol’ event or somethin’ for ya’...but I guess this’ll just hafta’ do for now, won’t it?”

Randy Orton: "Well. Hello Trevor, I accept your apology. I am pretty sure you are so full of yourself lately? I see you are enjoying your life like a country boy. I must say you are doing yourself well for a mayor."

Randy Orton stared into Trevor Lee’s eyes.

Randy Orton: "You and I both know why I am here. Will you please be kind enough to stop this bullshit country crap talk and get down to business shall we? I honestly know you are coming after my UWF TV Championship. So tell me why it’s so important for a country boy like you to try to steal it from me?"

Trevor Lee: ”Steal?”

Trevor scoffs at this, mildly offended by Orton’s words.

Trevor Lee: ”Now you listen up nice an’ well, mista’ viper, I ain’t no thief! I don’t know where in the wide world of ‘rasslin you got that idea from in that there mind a’ yours that I’m tryin’ to come in an’ steal the Television Title from ya’, but I don’t like it! Not one bit!”

With some townsfolk murmuring already, Lee cocks a smile, trying to keep them from getting too riled up.

Trevor Lee: ”Now, if ya’ wanna’ come an’ ask me why I am tryin’ to win that there Television Title off of ya’, mista’ viper…well now, that’s an easy question. Ya’ see, it’s all about legitimacy. Legitimacy for my career, legitimacy for my town, legitimacy for my people. Now mista’ viper, considerin’ that ya’ ain’t a mayor of anythin’ so I won’t bore ya’ to death with all the politics an’ all the legalese stuff that comes outta’ somethin’ like this, I’ll put it nice an’ simple for a simple folk like yourself: if I win that there Television title, the prestige that’s attached to that there championship belt becomes just another part of the heritage of Harlan, ya’ hear? If I win that belt off of ya’, people are gonna’ be comin’ in droves to catch a glimpse of that there title wrapped aroun’ my waist!”

With a slight chuckle coming from Trevor, he grows a bit more serious as he steps closer to the current title holder.

Trevor Lee: ”An’ y’all know what they say about Harlan, Randy…once ya’ step foot in this here town, ya’ never leave ‘ere alive…”

Lee then backs off from Orton, that same venomous smirk on his face as he stares eye-to-eye with Randy.

Trevor Lee: ”Ah, but I can certainly give ya’ a pass this time ‘round, mista’ viper! After all, y’all are just visitin’ this lil’ town to speak with me! It ain’t like ya’ actually wanted to be here, unlike all these fine folk ya’ seem to have disrespected while tryin’ to find me.”

Of course, mentioning that Orton has disrespected the townsfolk and, in essence, the town of Harlan itself only got the townsfolk even more riled up. Nearly everybody was out in the streets now surrounding the two…the keyword being nearly, as the butchery still seemed open for business, nobody having come out to close up shop quite yet. Thankfully for Randy, however, Lee is quick to turn his attention to the crowd of people.

Trevor Lee: ”Now now, folks, settle down, settle down! I know, I know it’s disheartenin’ as ever to hear some city folk come on down here an’ disrespect our lil’ ol’ hometown like this, but trust me on this one folks, I’m sure as heck not gonna stand for it, no way, no how!”

Turning back to face Randy, a motion of his hands sees the people who had gone behind Orton parting, giving him a clear view of the town’s exit.

Trevor Lee: ”Now then, mista’ viper, I suggest that ya’ kindly get out of Harlan while ya’ can. After all, I’d much rather be able to take that TV title away from ya’ myself, instead of havin’ it be handed to me by the mob of people you just done made angrier than a rabid ‘coon.”

Trevor Lee: ”So I’ll be seein’ ya’, Randy! See ya’ at Final Battle!”

Faced with either a guaranteed escape or an unfathomable number’s disadvantage, the TV champ chooses wisely to retreat, leaving Lee with the diminishing crowd of townsfolk around him. Once most of them are back to their daily lives, a grin crosses the face of Trevor Lee, as he walks off…and the last we see of him before the camera fades out is him entering the town’s butchery, the smirk on his face growing wider with each step taken.








Bright yellow spotlights begin to shine throughout the arena immediately garnering the attention of every fan in the building. The lights begin to twinkle and move throughout the arena before fixating the at top of the ramp and changing to a blue tint. The arena then goes dark as the music continues to blare loudly from the Speakers. Suddenly, large poles form a runway down to the ramp, and they instantly light on fire. The fire burns steadily as the camera fixates on the top of the ramp, waiting for the illustrious superstar to make his way out from the back to face the UWF Universe.



Without further adieu, The Visionary & UWF Champion, Seth Rollins steps out from behind the curtains with his arms extending outwards by his sides. The one and only Paul Heyman, bald head, and all, appears from the backstage area as well following Seth, rubbing his hands and wearing a self-approving look on his face as well. Heyman hands the championship over to Seth, who hoists it high in the sky above his head as the fans reign down with boos. Heyman then takes the belt and straps it around the waist of Seth as they continue down the rampway.







The fans show their disapproval for the duo by launching incredibly loud boo's in unison that would register on the Richter scale. Seth walks down the ramp, slowly and methodically, his theme music exiting the speakers and entering the atmosphere, making it seem as if a real-life God like figure has just entered everyone’s presence. Seth finally makes his way to the ring, steps up the stairs and enters the ring with his manager behind him. Seth Rollins stands in the middle of the ring with both of his hands out to the side, presenting himself as a mythical being in a sense. The fans react with an even louder negative reaction as he reminds of whom the holder is of the most prestigious championship in the company. 


Paul Heyman: Hear Ye, HEAR YE!


Before you stands the epitome of success, hard work and big wishes. Before you stands a God in human flesh. Before you stands the CURRENT, REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED, UWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD: MY CLIENT SEETTTHHH ROOOOOOOOOLLLLLINSSSSS!!!!!


The crowd boos with a highly electric negative reaction that almost catches the ring ablaze.




My client has mutilated every challenger that had the testicular fortitude to TRY and take the title from him. They all failed just like the big bad wolf did at WrestleMania. They all failed just the man that wears a shark suit. They all failed just like the loser with a fake belt. But that’s not such a bad thing right? This arena in face is filled with lifelong losers! Hell, I mean Eddie Kingston is somehow making a comeback tonight and he is the biggest loser the world has ever seen in the last 20 years! He never skips an opportunity to remind us! If only the members of the audience had listened to me and my client; perhaps you all would be tapped in.

Tapped into the unlimited source of energy inside of your chakras and be able to allow the universe to guide your mind, body, soul, and spirit to the realms of your deepest desires. But instead, you all would rather play the victim and be frozen in fear. Then you smut buckets have the audacity to boo us because we live the very lives that you wish you could live. Isn’t this world funny?


Paul Heyman lowers his microphone and Seth raises his up to speak.


Seth Rollins: I’ll tell you what’s funnier Paul. The fact that this company is supposedly filled with men that want to be the UWF Champion, yet I don’t see a man that is worthy of that opportunity right now. Winning this championship was like taking candy from a baby—after I had to ‘do a few things’ of course but I digress. I want an opponent who is worthy of challenging me. I want a fight with someone who can hold a light to my name. But I look around and I don’t see anyone who deserves the opportunity to dance with the world’s best two stepper at a pay per view.


The only men left on the roster are men who I have already beaten or men that have been eliminated from the King of the Ring Tournament. I don’t want yesterday’s trash and I’m not giving out sympathy participation trophies. I want a man with a history of winning the big ones. I want a fight that makes me have to dig down deep and pull out my best techniques. I haven’t felt challenged in months. I know the UWF Universe has more fight than what I’ve seen! Or perhaps the level that I have risen too is now a level that no other mortal without the guidance of the universe can reach?



Well let’s put that theory to the test! I’m issuing an open challenge! I want the best of the best! I want to defend my championship at Final battle: but the stipulation is simple; only against a former world champion who has not been eliminated from the tournament. Who has the credentials to step up to me?


Seth lowers his mic as he waits. Heyman raises his microphone.


Paul Heyman: No one on the whole roster fits that bill! So, my client wont be defending the championship at Final Battle because there is no one WORTHY of challenging him. In fact--------


Static begins to glitch out the titantron, Heyman looks confused towards the stage but shruges it off and then raises his mic again.

Paul Heyman: As I was saying In-----


Static again interrupts Heyman as he turns frustratedly towards the tron to chastise the crew for ruining his promo, when on the tron suddenly appears an image.



Are you watching? Are you listening? Are you hurting?

Oooh Seth…You’ve gone and made a big mistake. I warned you but one week ago to be extra careful because someone is always watching and waiting for you to make a mistake, and yet you go and do what you’ve just done. You’ve gone and done, the biggest

The playing screens suddenly all stop, except for one screen which seems to be alive as the person in it turns towards the camera as if looking through the screen.

Mistake



Of your life.

The screens slowly begin to get filled with static as they changed to several different images

Because I Watch



I Listen, and I…

The figures arm moves up holding a hand up to it’s ear, showing a gloved hand that reads:

Hurt

The lights in the arena suddenly begin to flicker on and off as Rollins eyes go wide at the realization, the screen is filled with static as dangerous electric noises are heard throughout the arena as if there's a power surge running throughout the whole place. Lights flicker and spotlights move around in a frantic pace as the hum of electricity radiates from the stage before finally with one boom of a thud the power goes out and the arena is left in darkness. After a few moments of darkness, the arena is lit up by the bring screen once again with Colorful Playful music.



We enter the Funhouse as Alexa Bliss is jumping with joy clapping her hands together.

Alexa Bliss: Hee Hee Hee! Hiiiii Everybody and Welcome back to the Firefly Funhouse, You're bestest friend and mine, Bray Wyatt!

The sound of a children audience cheering is heard as Bray Wyatt emerges from the bottom of the screen standing up right next to Bliss with a wide grin on his face.



Bray Wyatt: Did Ya Miss Me?

The children studio audience loudly shouts "yeeeeeeaaaah"

Bray Wyatt: My how I've missed you, each and every single one of my friends has been missing from my heart and although I've had to deal with a lot of personal things, it never meant I up and forgot any of you...Including you, Seth.

Seth is looking up at the tron like he's seen a ghost, as Wyatt stares right through the titantron piercing into the UWF Champions soul with his gaze.

Alexa Bliss: Oh you better believe he hasn't stopped talking about how proud he is of you ole Sethy poo, You've gone on and headlined Wrestlemania and become UWF Champion. An Era of Enlightenment.

the sound of a dog growling off screen is heard and Bliss folds her arms and shakes her head

Alexa Bliss: Hush now Damien, Let Seth have his fun I'm sure Mauro didn't mean anything by that at Wrestlemania. And now you've got your own friends, your own back up, You've blossomed into the prettiest little flower you could. I sure as heck would love to pluck yeah and make the prettiest bouquet outta ya, And everyone here in the funhouse has been watching and cheering you on, So much so that Bray over here...he's got a secret to tell ya.

Bray Wyatt: Gosh well, ever since you started coming into your own Seth, I've been training, eating my vitamins, and watching tape because I know you...More than Anyone else. I've let you peek inside my funhouse, and it's allowed me to enter your mind, I've probed around that enlightened brain of yours and know things that even your trusted Paul Heyman and your bestie Roman Reigns don't know about you...Things I'm sure you don't fully admit to yourself either, but in knowing you... I knew that you would eventually throw out an open challenge like the one you just did.

The crowd in the arena start to cheer as Wyatt smiles wide and rocks from side to side like a kid with a secret to tell.

Bray Wyatt: So Guess what, gauntlet thrown...gauntlet picked right on up.Everyone in the tournament wanted a shot, everyone out of the tournament already failed, but you know someone you've never gotten one over on, do you know someone who changed you forever until you became what you are today...ME! HAHAHA And now we get to have Fun All OVER Again! I can't wait! hahahah Just some good old fashion fun with my best friend Seth, Can you even contain your excitement? Because I know I can't, I've been Fa-Fa-Fa-FOAMING at the mouth to play with you again!

Alexa Bliss: But wait Bray, Seth has changed since he followed you oh so long ago. He's got Paul Heyman singing his praises, he's at a level above the entire roster. In Fact, he likens himself to be a God in human flesh. What if he's too good to play with lil ole us anymore?

Bray Wyatt: Golly gee willikers Ya know Lexi, that's a good point...if Seth is a God now...I guess he may be too good to play with silly normies like us anymore.

Funhouse audience: Awwwwwww

Bray has a overexaggerated sad look on his face with his head down and hands in his pockets as he kicks at the air while Alexa wiggles her fist to her aye motioning crying, when suddenl an animated Lightbulb pops on top of Brays head and he looks up.

Bray Wyatt: oop, Wait a minute though...If that's the case, I think I know who to talk to about helping me keep up with a God in Human Flesh. I mean...Pesky Human Flesh is so fragile and filled with nerve endings that trigger pain...And I know someTh̸i̴n̸g̶...that feels no pain. Some t̷h̸i̸n̶g̸ that is beyond Gods and Devils, in fact...Seth knows H̵i̵m̸too...And H̴e̴ never forgets, and while I just want to play with you again...H̴e̵...wants what is H̷i̴s̴...BACK.

Paul Heyman is shaking his head no as the music swells and Brays voice gets deeper and deeper, as Seth looks down at the UWF Championship over his shoulder holding it closely.

Alexa Bliss: Ooooo You mean?

The lights in the arena turn red again and Seth and Heyman start looking around the ring frantically for someone, or something, to appear behind them.

Bray Wyatt: Let Me In

The screen goes dark as the sound of Brays Laughter echoes throughout the arena as Seth and Paul stand in the middle of the ring bathed in red light.


END OF SHOW


Confirmed for Final Battle

UWF Championship
Seth Rollins(c) vs Bray Wyatt


Dean Ambrose vs Austin Theory



Credits


Theory vs Cena - Evolution J
Punk & Sweet N' Sour vs Zayn & El Duo Dinamico - Dresden
Ambrose vs Ciampa - Fauche
Homicide vs Swoggle, Reigns vs Kingston - Danny

[Dres]

Lots of good stuff on this show for sure. I enjoyed it a lot.

[crann]

Hell of a match Faucher put together for me and Gunn, even if the session was only 1-1. Felt like it had some big fight feel, definitely leaves things open-ended for a rematch, and plants some seeds for Ambrose to go after Homicide when he's through with Theory too. Lots to love about those booking decisions, and also lots to love about Fauche nailing the vibe I'm going for with Dean. Pleased as a peach by that one.

Rest of the show had some solid stuff, too. It's been fun getting to mix it up with George through promos the past few weeks and I'm looking forward to having the chance to TT with him again this week (albeit as friends... for now). Also throwing down with DNU should be cool, his Danhausen seems really creative from what I've seen and I'm looking forward to seeing more. Cena's always a treat too.

The Punk v.s. Zayn storyline has been a real joy to watch unfold, and I am looking forward to seeing where it goes from here. Always a treat to have Larry and Kyle back in the mix though I'm pretty sure that was temporary.

How about that main event segment? Rey coming back with Wyatt is big news. Should be a very game opponent for Destruction's Rollins, which has always been super strong. Don't envy Destruction; if he gets through BRey that just means he has the KotR winner to deal with, and both Swedish and Sam are legit guys in and of themselves.

Loved this show. Had some fun vibes. Fair few promos too. Loving my role as the vet, and really starting to find my stride as Deaner. Let's keep it rolling into final battle.