Post by Danny on Oct 27, 2022 16:12:43 GMT -6
We head to the arena where the pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Halloween Havoc! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Tom Phillips: We're just days out from Bad Blood and we've got new champion, new intentions and new rivalries brewing. I can't wait!
Corey Graves: Not to mention a big Halloween Battle Royal where the winner will receive the patented "Special Opportunity".
Mauro Ranallo:It's a costumed affair but we've got some other great matches tonight including a hard hitting showdown between Jon Moxley and Kyle' O'Reilly, a battle between two men trying to get back on track in Leyton Buzzard and Cody Rhodes and last year's next big thing versus this years next big thing, Eddie Kingston vs Trent Seven.
Corey Graves: Plus the Television Champion Trevor Lee is set to come out here and-
Tom Phillips: Actually, we've heard that Lee is back down in Harlan as the votes are counted for the election.
Mauro Ranallo:He may not be here but there's still plenty of action tonight on Revolution!
Wherever I May Roam plays over the speaker system as a lone Ciampa walks down the ramp with a mic in hand. The crowd has a mixed reaction towards him. Some cheer him as he showed respect towards Danhausen and some still boo him, his roughness in the match still being remembered, people think his politeness was mocking their face painted hero. Ciampa would stop and see a fan with a “Champa” sign and smile, shaking his head slightly before giving the audience member a fist bump. The crowd would cheer this as Ciampa entered the ring and paced round for a moment before talking, pointing to the guy in the crowd with the sign.
Ciampa: You know thats the first of those types of signs i’ve seen in a while. Most say they want me to die or call me “Chumpa”, which I was actually a fan of to be honest but its nice to see some support out here in the crowd, so I thank you all for that.
The crowd would break off into a cheer again, Ciampa would allow them to have their moment before continuing.
Ciampa: First off I want to address what happened at Bad Blood. As you all know I beat Danhausen but i’ll admit, it wasn’t easy. Even though there was no titles on the line, there was something more important and that was pride. Both us wanted to go in there and show who the better man was and even though I came out with a win, Danhausen showed me that he deserves to be holding that Intercontinental Championship and I wish him a successful run if he beats Homicide, trust me Hausen I faced him a few times during my reign and even though I beat him, he was a tough bastard.
Once again the crowd would give props to Ciampa for putting over his Bad Blood opponent.
Ciampa: Now that we’ve addressed that past, its time to look to the future, specifically my future in this company. At Bad Blood I wasn’t the only man to get the thing he had been chasing for a long ass time. Shark Boy defeated Edge for the UWF Championship and I think its time I throw my hat in the ring for that Championship.
I didn’t beat Punk for it. I never got a chance at Rollins or Edge because I was cutting my own path with the Intercontinental Championship but now its time for me to move up in the ranks and I want a shot at the UWF Championship. I don’t care what I need to do to earn it, how many hoops I need to jump through but this is my time and I AM TIRED OF WAITING.
Ciampa would be fired up now, pointing up to the ramp and to the back.
Ciampa: I know Edge is back there planning his next move to get the title back but Edge, get to the back of the line were you belong or i’ll put you there myself. For the past year i’ve proved myself one of the best, if not the best on this roster and its time to collect. Shark Boy, as much as I respect you for what you’ve done, when it comes to us meeting for that UWF Championship, I won’t need the multiple opportunities you got: I JUST NEED ONE and that title is mine.
The fans are on their feet booing as none other than UWF's resident shithead Sami Zayn comes walking out onto the stage with the Forever Championship on his shoulder.
Sami Zayn: I'm sorry, I just happened to be in the back there and I couldn't help but overhear the garbage that came spewing out of your mouth just now. You may be tired of waiting for a title opportunity but as far as I'm concerned, you need to be at the back of the line right next to Edge.
While you've been slumming it with the people not good enough to be in the main event week after week, I've been out here putting in work. While you were busy losing to Danhausen, I've been beating former UWF Champion CM Punk. I pinned UWF Legend Dean Ambrose 4 times. I've put new guys like Leyton Buzzard in their place and reminded losers like Eddie Kingston to stay in their lane. My only loss in months was a fatal four way that had everyone hit their finishers on me in the opening bell because they knew I was the greatest threat. In pure singles action my only loss goes even further back. Shark Boy and I have a little unfinished business and throw away all the gimmicks and I would demolish him in this ring.
More boos from the crowd for Sami's smugness.
Sami Zayn: But if you want to prove you have what it takes to make that next big step, then good luck in the battle royal tonight. I'm above such childish matches so you're actually free to win this one. Let's just hope you don't prove me right and show everyone that you don't belong anywhere near the main event scene.
Zayn tosses the mic and smiles at Ciampa, slowly walking back up the ramp backwards as Revolution rolls on!
The titantron switches from the Halloween Havoc graphic to a live feed from backstage. Renee Young is shown walking down the hallway. Then, suddenly and spooikly, the lights flicker! A sound from behind! She nervously peers over her shoulder. Nothing - and no one - there. Renee turns back around and see something lurking in the dark. A figure, cloaked in the night.
Young: H-hello? Who's there?
The man of mystery steps into the light. It's Kyle O'Reilly! He's decked out in a spiffy Halloween costume. Black on black, long coat, shades, combat boots. Renee puts a hand over her chest to still her racing heart.
Young: Oh my gosh, Kyle. You scared the crap out of me.
KO'R: Pssh, you gotta step up your game, Renee. It's Halloween time, the spookiest time of the year. You never know what's gonna jump out around the corner. I mean shoot, this isn't even my freakiest costume. This is just a warm-up for the big day. Something casual for work, ya know?
He tugs proudly at his lapels with his thumbs while Renee gives him the once over.
Young: Yeah, cool. What uh... what are you going as, then?
Even behind the sunglasses, you can see Kyle rolling his eyes.
KO'R: Ugh. Don't even get me started. HR told me I had to start telling people I'm supposed to be Neo from the Matrix cause apparently an Eric David Harris costume is like "ridiculously inappropriate" or whatever.
Young: I don't even know who that is.
KO'R: HR told me to stop telling people to google it.
Renee shrugs, pocketing her phone just as soon as she pulled it out.
Young Fair enough. But let's talk about this match of yours tonight. It's you and Jon Moxley going one-on-one for the first time ever.
KO'R: Uh, yeah, it's like an actual dream match and it's not even the friggin main event. So either that means people still don't take me seriously or they stopped taking him seriously. Either way, we both got something to prove. And you know something Renee? I'm gonna go out there and prove it. I'm gonna prove it hard. And if Jon doesn't wanna prove it as hard as I wanna prove it, I'm just gonna effing prove myself all over him.
Young: ... ... un-huh. Okay.
KO'R: The proof is in the pudding, Renee. And I'm gonna be pudding my knee into Mox's face over and over again until the Referee waves this thing off.
I'm bringing Despy home some gold for Christmas. I don't know which belt it is yet, but I'm gonna get one of them. Bet. I beat Seven and Buzzard and Rhodes and if I beat Mox, you can forget about handing off some kinda special prize for the Battle Royale winner, cause I got dibs on something. Anything. Whatever.
Young: My personal bias about this upcoming match aside, I'm just glad to see you're in a better mood than you have been lately. It seemed like Canadian Thanksgiving really got you down.
Kyle's nostrils flare and the vein in his forehead twitches.
KO'R: Don't even get me started on that junk. Granna and Miguel are going on a trip to Reno together. They're sharing the same hotel room, Renee. I swear to God, if I find out they pushed their beds together, I'm gonna rip that guy's collar bone out. Seriously. I mean it.
Young: Well, ya know, let's let the grown-ups make their own grown-up decisions. And uh, good look in your match tonight.
KO'R: Yeah thanks I guess.
Kyle storms off in a decidedly worse mood than he was mere seconds ago. Halloween Havoc rolls on!
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall
Eddie Kingston is standing in the ring already, having entered during the commercial break cause that's what happens when you've been around for eighteen months without sending an entrance song to the production truck. His opponent, on the other hand, gets some pomp and circumstance...
Psycho Killer by Talking Heads hits the arena as Trent Seven walks out of the curtain. He stand on the stage for a bit before performing his signature mustache taunt.
Chimel: Making his way to the ring, from Wolverhampton, England, weighing 216 pounds, TRENT SEVEN!
Trent jeers at the audience ringside as the boos flood in. He rolls inside the ring and lays on the center for a while, before going to and standing on one of the turnbuckles.
Two two competitors stare each other down as Tony heads out of the ring. After ensuring both men are good to go, the Referee calls for the bell.
VS
DING DING
Kingston balls up his fists and puts his dukes up, shuckin' and jivin' a bit with a sprinkle of shadow boxing as he gets himself in the zone for the fight to come. Seven looks straight down his nose at the man across the ring as he wipes his boots on the canvas. The arrogance is just dripping off of the Brit - evidently, he doesn't recognize the authority of the Mad King.
Eddie stats to move in, those closed fists uncoiling a bit to stretch his fingers out - both hands ready to grip and grapple. Trent circles around the perimeter of the ring, staying close to ropes at first until the distance closes and he is forced to engage.
A classic collar-and-elbow doesn't last long. Kingston has the distinct power advantage so Trent slips out and jogs away, wagging a finger at his opponent while he retreats. This draws some boos from the crowd, but Seven just waves them off.
Graves: Ugh. Just listen to these neanderthals. Imagine having the audacity to think you know more about the art of professional wrestling than Trent Seven.
Phillips: The fans appreciate good wrestling when they see it, Corey. It's Seven's personality that turns them off.
The Brit turns around and beckons Eddie to come try him again. Kingston gladly accepts. This time, though, Seven extends his hands, looking for the Greco-Roman knuckle lock exchange instead. The Mad King accepts. They clasp hands, intertwining fingers before begging a test of strength.
Veins pulse in foreheads, beads of sweat rain down to the mat, muscles strain, but there isn't an inch given in either direction. Realizing that this is going nowhere fast, Seven gets one hand free before hastily transitioning around to slap on a Hammerlock. This isn't Eddie's first rodeo. Muscle memory has him firing an elbow back to get Seven off his back.
Trent was expecting exactly that. He ducks the elbow, steps around while maintaining the hammerlock and then hits a short-arm lariat. That knocks Eddie off of his feet. Seven follows him down, dropping to one knee so that as the New Yorker falls, his back connects with the waiting knee cap to punctuate the impact.
Ranallo: Oof! Excellent counter into an impressive maneuver by Trent Seven!
Graves: We all know that Eddie Kingston is as tough as they come, but he's just no match for someone with the wrestling acumen that Trent Seven has. He's always going to be two steps behind.
Eddie drops from knee to mat, groaning in pain while Trent sprawls and hooks a leg to make the cover...
1...
Eddie shoves him off before the second count.
Seven stays right on top of him with the offense. Yanking Kingston up into a seated position, Trent steps over one harm, hooks the other, and proceeds to smash away at Eddie's jaw bone with some anvil elbows. The first two don't seem to have much affect, but by the sixth and seventh, Kingston's eyes are rolling back. Trent keeps chipping away, perhaps to his own detriment. At a dozen shots, something clicks to bring Eddie back to life.
The Mad King's eye shoot open with a rush of adrenaline burning up his system. With teeth gritted and nostrils flaring, Eddie explodes up to his feet, moving Seven out of his position of dominance into one of vulnerability as he's swiveled into a Fireman's Carry.
Cheers swell up around the arena as the fans come alive alongside Kingston. He carries his opponent over to the ropes and tosses him up and over his shoulders. Seven comes down neck-first on the top cable, which snaps his head back upon contact. Trent is shot right back to his feet. Impressively, he manages to land standing as he nurses his already bruised throat. Kingston follows up by blasting him with a running lariat, using those same ropes to give himself a little somethin extra on there. He damn near turns the Brit inside out, and from there, drops to shoot the half...
1...
2...
Trent shoves him off after two.
Ranallo: As expected, we're getting a hard hitting match from these two students of the King's Road style popularized in All Japan Pro Wrestling in the 90's and carried on through NOAH in the early oughts.
Phillips: They couldn't be more different personality-wise, but I bet they studied a lot of the same tape when they were training to become wrestlers.
Graves: Maybe, but no matter how much time they spent learning about the Four Pillars, Seven has something extra. He has HIM, and with an enlightened benefactor backing him, the sky's the limit for this guy. You saw what he did do Stone Cold Steven Austin at Bad Blood!
Phillips: Do you even know who He is?
Graves: Maybe. Maybe not. But I'd never tell you, Phillips.
Kingston yanks Seven up to his feet and blasts him across the chest with a knife-edged chops. The Brit wilts as a handprint-shaped bruise gets left on his torso. Eddie looks to follow up with another but Trent swats his strike awake and responds with a forearm shiver to the jaw. The Mad King staggers away and Seven comes in to hit another.
This time, it's Eddie who blocks the attack. After that, he hits another chops that knocks the wind clear out of his foe's lungs. Trent stumbles away. Kingston follows after only to get faked out by a feigned strike. That leaves the New Yorker open for a boot to the midsection followed by a vicious DDT.
Once he's planted his opponent's head into the mat, Seven rolls him over for a cover. He reaches over to hook one leg deep, hoping it will be enough to get the job done. The third man slides down to count it...
1...
2...
No! Eddie kicks out at two with little time to spare. Seven scowls at the Referee.
Graves: Was that a slow count? I think that was a slow count.
Phillips: It seemed pretty standard to me.
Graves: Well the Referee must have been out of position then. If he had gotten down a little quicker, I'm sure that would have been a three count.
Seven leaves Eddie lying on the mat as he pops back to his feet. Taking a deep breath, he makes a run for the ropes. He hits the cables, bounces off, and rushes back before flinging himself up into the air so he can bring down his full body weight down on Eddie with a Senton. The brutish aerial maneuver lands flush as he crushes Kingston.
There's an audile "OOOOH" from the sold-out crowd. Trent sits up, taking a split second to nurse his back where it landed on his opponent before turning around to make a more definitive pin, this time hooking both legs. The Ref is right there to count it...
1...
2...
No! Kingston kicks out again! The fans cheer but Seven is incensed. He says something unseemly to the Official, who backs off in fear of violent reprisal.
Trent's had enough. He calls for an end to this match as he hauls his opponent up to a vertical base. Kingston coughs upa mouthful of blood. His eyes are glazed over - he's all but out on his feet. Seven has little issue wrapping his arms around him in a straight-jacket type hold.
Graves: Here it comes - the Seven Star Lariat!
Ranallo: If Trent lands this, it's lights out for Eddie Kingston. And you have to believe that after the streak he's been on, a win over a game competitor like the Mad King will send Seven's career into the stratosphere.
Seven ripcords Eddie away to set up his Rainmaker-esque finisher. He pulls Kingston back in for the kill, but Eddie ducks the lariat and steps behind him. Trent turn around to find Eddie making the most off all that momentum, turning it into a Spinning Backfist!
His knuckles bounce off of Seven's jaw! The Brit goes down hard, landing seated and dazed. Kingston shakes his head, finding enough wherewithal to shoot himself into the ropes. He comes back to slide in and hit the American D! The elbow eradicates the back of Seven's head, sending him to the Land of Wind and Ghosts.
With the crowd jumping out of their seats in excitement, Kingston roll over his opponent to make the cover...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER....
EDDIE KINGSTON!
The Mad King rolls off of Seven, exhausted for the effort and still rattled by all that hard-hitting offense. Eventually, he gets to his feet to have his hand raised by the Referee while Seven rolls out of the ring.
Ranallo: One year ago, Eddie Kingston punched his ticket to the world title scene. He's had his ups and down since then. He suffered a near-career ending injury and just barely came out alive in a brutal war with the Hollywood Animal. I think it's safe to say that the Kingston we saw fight his way to the main event scene is back and ready for another crack at some company gold.
Phillips: He's been nothing but impressive lately, and a win over a game opponent in Trent Seven only solidifies his status as the man to watch out for en route to Slammiversary.
Graves: I'm telling you guys, there was a slow count earlier! Trent Seven got robbed!
Seven heads up the ramp, holding the back of his head in pain as Eddie Kingston celebrates in the ring. Revolution continues elsewhere.
The scene opens with Cody staring into the camera and he begins to speak.
Cody: Hi everyone. As you have seen that I have lost my match recently to Kyle O'Reilly and he managed to outsmarted me at Bad Blood. I honestly hate to admit that he was the better man in the end and I still respect him for winning the match even if he didn't return it. But I have done my job and I have helped put him back on his winning ways whether he want to admit it or not. That is nothing but the truth. Moving on to tonight's match against Leyton Buzzard. A young British wrestler who is hungry for gold and is willing to put his body on the line to do whatever it takes to win. I admit he have made a good point in me getting involved with his match with Kyle and I admit I was wrong. Now I have to pay the consequences and pay my dues. It is time for me to fight back in this war against him since I am the reason why he lost his focus on his match last night against Trevor Lee.
Tonight won't be any ordinary match between two opponents. No, it is between a young newcomer and a UWF Legend himself. I am going to get my chances to redeem my consequences that I must face at the hands of Leyton up front and I must overcome the odds of outsmarting the young lad. When the bell rings, not only would we both fight each other to the death and put our own bodies on the line to do whatever it takes to win. As for me, I have more experience when it comes to wrestling and in case, Buzzard lacks of it. But I am not going to underestimate the bright young man who is determine to prove me wrong and go to war with me tonight. If he want to go to war with this legend and then he must pre extremely prepared for it. I am always prepared for it because I have been doing this for my entire life and it is in my genes. I was born to do it unlike Leyton. Tonight, I am not only going to defeat Buzzard and teach him a new lesson in respect. I am going to make a huge statement by proving all those who doubt me ever since I have return and make them shut up once, and for all. Tonight, I will be haunting Buzzard's dreams and his world is going to become a living nightmare at Halloween Havoc. Once it is said and done, I am going to looking forward to go after and go right what is rightfully mine. I am going to return to return becoming the future UWF Champion or win any other championships during my run here in UWF. After tonight, you will all remember the name the American Nightmare himself......Cody Rhodes.
The scene fades and ends with Cody Rhodes stares into the camera with a angry look.
The spooktacular Halloween Havoc eerily transitions backstage where we are greeted by the tandem of Edge and Christian, discussing plans for the upcoming Battle Royal.
Christian
So like, are you for sure for sure that there's no spot left for me in this Battle Royal? Like...at all? Maybe I can Mick Foley it like that one Royal Rumble and take someone out backstage and take their spot?
Across the table from Christian, Edge is staring daggers at the costume laid out on the table for him to wear, a callback to his foot in the door in the wrestling industry, his old Brood getup. Edge's lack of response just simply causes Christian to continue rambling.
Christian
Cause like, I brought my own costume and everything. Hell I even gave a theme song to the boys in the truck in the off chance EC3 gives me the tap to go in. Plus I'll be able to help you out in there, get you right back on that horse y'know?
At this point, now Edge looks up to meet Christian's gaze...and also see the Halloween costume he brought for himself. A brown blazer, orange sweater, a white dress shirt, a red ribbon, a blue skirt? A pink wig? Rather than ask Christian what the hell it's even supposed to be a costume of and spiral down that rabbit hole, Edge decides to address the elephant in the room.
Edge
Sorry man, I thought I had saved you a spot, but those damn Philadelphia boys burst into EC3's office and talked about "cross-promotional marketing" and "legitimizing the UWF" and other corporate lingo that I figured was way above the Philly education and talked him into not one, but two spots in the Battle Royal and unfortunately, your spot got the axe. If you can find someone willing to give up their spot in the match, then you can get in, but unless a tragedy occurs to someone....well that just ain't gonna happen on such short notice...
A silence fills the room at Edge's remarks, both men disappointed in the lack of an E&C reunion for different reasons.
Christian
Well, I'll be in gorilla regardless, waiting to see if I'm needed. Plus I'll be there to cheer you on man, I know you'll have an easy time clearing house and winning whatever it is EC3 is offering. Maybe it'll be an all expenses paid vacation around the world! A week in Europe, Asia, France, Madagas....
Christian peters out once he sees the glare Edge is sending his way, we all know what Edge really wants. His title back. Before he can chide Christian on his whimsical vacation (which he can afford on his own anyway), Edge's phone starts vibrating on the table. We can't see the caller ID but Edge's eyes widen as his hand shoots for the phone and answers it immediately.
Edge
Hello?
...speaking....what!? How?!...In gym class?...Well was she harnessed?...What do you mean it came out of the wall!?...I'm in an entirely different state right now on business, please tell me you called my wife first?...she's with her now?...What hospital?...Ok...Ok...I'm flying out right now...Contact the fourth emergency contact on that list to pick my other daughter up from school...Ok...Look, hold your damn apologies and you'd better hope this isn't anything serious considering your gross negligence could've killed my child!...You're damn right I want this investigated, but first things first, I have to go check on my daughter...
Edge abruptly hangs up the phone before letting the voice on the other end make any more excuses. Christian's eyes are as wide as a full moon even hearing half of the conversation, he knows what's gone down.
Christian
What can I do to help? Need me to fly out too? I can get you a real good lawyer and he and I can check out the school to start building the case, or...
Christian is cut off by Edge holding up a hand as he's booking a one way flight on his phone. Once he's done, he schedules a service to come pick him up at the arena and then looks up to address Christian.
Edge
None of that, I'm not worried about the lawyer part yet, I just need to go and make sure my baby is alright. If you really want to help out, well a spot in that Halloween Battle Royal has just opened up...however you can't do it in your costume. You've gotta be me, just for one night. I know you've got the mannerisms down and I'm sure EC3 won't mind shifting the special opportunity from you to me. I know you've got more talent than all those other schmucks combined, so just play it smart, alright? Good luck out there. I'll text you once I'm at the hospital.
The two partners hug it out as Edge grabs his bag and dashes out the door, leaving Christian alone with Edge's Brood costume and those big shoes to fill of a former UWF Champion. Christian starts to disrobe to put the costume on as the scene (thankfully) fades out to keep the TV Rating down as Halloween Havoc screams along.
"Battle-Axe" hits the arena PA and the fans hit their feet. The cameras key in on the stage as Mox's 'tron plays, but he's not there. After a few long, awkward moments, the cameras eventually find the man walking through the crowd.
Tony Chimel: From Cincinnati, Ohio, weighing 224 pounds, Jon MOXLEY!
Mox hops the barricade and enters the ring, then pulls off his vest and tosses it to the crowd. He performs some pre-match stretches ahead of the match.
A lone synthethetic violion whispers through the air like a pretodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entrance way. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out on to the ramp, fists and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day. He does some shadow boxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Chimel: Making his way to the ring from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's pace is in lock-step with the propulsive groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred some air guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight.
VS
DING DING DING
As soon as the bell rings both men rush to the middle of the ring and start slugging it out. Moxley gets the better of the exchange until Kyle reverts to kicks. Moxley swings with punch to the head but Kyle returns the favor with a kick to the chest. Kyle ends up ducking one of the punches and Leg Sweeps Moxley like fucking Mortal Kombat. Kyle then drops a pointed knee right on his face. The UWF Legend rolls away to the ropes but Kyle stays on the attack. He unleashes a Diabetic flurry on Jon, giving him a series of strikes that the former Ambrose eats clean. He pushes Kyle away but O'Reilly comes right back at him. Moxley ends up Headbutting Kyle and both men get dazed. Jon kicks Kyle in the gut and hits him with a Piledriver! He doesn't follow up though, instead just looks off into the crowd looking lost.
Mauro Ranallo: That meeting of the minds looks like it might not have been the best move for Moxley there.
Tom Phillips: I'm sure the last thing you wanted after spending years in a coma is more head trauma.
Moxley seems to snap back to reality and gets to his feet. He picks up Kyle and sets him up for the Paradigm Shift but Kyle is able to flip him over with a Back Body Drop. Moxley rushes back to his feet but Kyle has run to the ropes and comes back with the Torpedo Knee! Moxley looks like he's been knocked clean out and the ref goes to check no him. He waves his hand in front of Moxley's face and there's no response. The ref ends up calling for the bell.
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner by Knockout, Kyle O'Reilly!
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like it's 0-2 for Moxley. Not the best way to kick off a rebranding.
Tom Phillips: I guess he's still been feeling the effects from that long coma stay,
Corey Graves: At some point you guys have to stop making excuses for him. I'm not the biggest O'Reilly fan but he proved to be the better man tonight.
The ref checks on Moxley while Kyle shrugs and simply heads to the back as the show moves on.
The titantron switches from the UWF Halloween Havoc graphic to an ad break. A worn-down man is shown pulling in the driveway in a filthy work truck. He steps out of the vehicle, stretches his exhausted back, yawns, checks the time and realizes he's running late so he hurries inside to a house in chaos. T kids running around all over the place. The dog chewing a pillow. The wife a hot mess about it all. A familiar voice gruffly provides the narration.
Gage: It's Friday night. You just got home and you've been pulling double f--kin' shifts all week. Your old lady is sick of Hamburger Helper and your kids got f--kin' soccer practice or some s--t like that.
So what are you gonna do about it?
The man picks up the phone and makes a quick call. Cue the mood change. An entry-level R&B groove accompanies the scene as this now wholesome, nuclear family gathers around their well-lit, open-concept, suburban dining room table. .
Gage: Do yourself a god damn favour and order some Domino's Pizza. They got every f--kinn' flavour. Pepperoni. Meatlovers. Deluxe. Plus all those other ones. Personally I don't f--k with vegiterian cause I gotta keep my weight up, but I got friends back in Jersey who only eats plants, and I would f--king kill for those dudes. Blood in, blood out. MDK all f--kin' day.
The dad passes his daughter another slice while mom pours herself a glass of ice cold Coca Cola. That rascal of a dog somehow manages to get one of the hot wings all to himself. The boy winks at the camera knowingly. Dad just rolls his eyes and pats him on the head.
Gage: Papa John is known racist. If I see him in the streets, it's on sight. That's a dead man walking. Little Cesar's is cool is you're out late and you need a quick somethin' somethin' I guess. But that s--t ain't Domino's. Plus right now, you can get two medium two-toppers for eight bucks each. You can even add on some wings or those cinnamon bread sticks with the jizz icing for only eight bucks more. If there's a better f--kin' deal than that at Pizza Hut, nobody told me about it yet. Yeah, that's right Pizza Hut. I'm calling you the f--k out. I'll drop your name. You gonna come pick it up out of the dirt? Or are you just the little stuffed-crust b--ch I always thought you were?
Pops pats his belly while mom clears the plates. The boy says "I'm stuffed" but that rambunctious little girl says "I guess I could fit just one more down the hatch. Everyone laughs caucasianally. The feed then shows some highlights of Nick Gage's handiwork inside the squared circle.
Gage: I'm f--kin' proud to say that Nick Gage has partnered up with Domino's Pizza. They gave me some new pizza cutters and I'm gonna wear their colours tonight in the Halloween Battle Royale. And when I win, I'm gonna eat some f--kin' pizza cause it's MDK -
Back to the family, who all look directly at the camera to add...
WITH EXTRA PEPPERONI
And back Domino's uniform-clad Gage, while brandishing his signature weapon.
Gage: ALL FLIPPIN DAY.
Cut to a shot of some pizza dough getting flipped. Halloween Havoc rolls on!
Leyton's requested moment before his match with The Nightmare, Buzzard appears on the titantron...
Leyton Buzzard
There is something I want to address, Lee you can walk around here with the title but you and I both know the better man didn't win the fight. I asked for a rematch but THEY didn't allow it. You must have friends in high places. The people in this arena wanted change but I was robbed, I am a much bigger man though and FOR NOW you'll get a pass. I have to refocus I have to beat the AMERICAN NIGHTMARE Cody Rhodes tonight, Not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination BUT I am not happy, I am angry and I am going to take it out on Cody...
Buzzard wraps the tape around his wrist....
I still need to offer my apologies to each and everyone of you, I let you down. I made a promise that my career would be on the line for this run, I put absolutely everything on the line but life isn't fair and sometimes life likes to keep the carrot dangling right in front of your nose, You keep grabbing for the 'carrot' but at the last moment it gets snatched and pulled right just outside your reach. I am sick of it, I don't want my opportunities taken out from right in front of me ANY LONGER. Maybe Lee was right, Maybe just maybe, I am a 'Bristol Born Son of a Bitch'...
Buzzard cracks his neck either side, The crowd ready to sing are taken back by the absence of The Who. They still cheer for the Bristol born lad, A new instrumental begins playing as Buzzard plays up to the crowd trying to invest them in this new entrance...
The theme rings throughout the arena. Buzzard begins to walk down the ramp as the crowd cheer on his efforts from Blood Blood. Leyton walks down the entrance way slapping the hands of every young fan wanting a high five from the aerial assassin...
Buzzard stops at ringside as he observes the height of the ring, Buzzard in one attempt jumps from the ground onto the apron, Buzzard enters through the middle rope as the crowd cheer for the lad with a dream. Buzzard goes to his corner to await Cody Rhodes...
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare come out to a huge ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
VS
DING DING DING
The bell rings and Cody comes out to the middle of the ring and extends his hand, wanting a good clean contest between the two. Buzzard seems a little wary of it but he gives him a quick shake and the match is on. They lock up and Cody immediately puts him in a Side Headlock. Buzzards backs into the ropes and goes to shoot him off but Cody keeps the hold locked in. Buzzard instead starts punching him in the ribs to break his grip but Cody gives him an Elbow to the back. Cody then runs forward and springboard off the ropes, looking for the Disaster Kick but Buzzard ducks it and runs to the ropes himself. Cody spins around after the missed kick but eats a Springboard Moonsault! He hooks both legs for the pin!
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Rhodes kicks out! Buzzard waits for him to get to his feet before he runs forward and springboards on the ropes again. He's going for Air Leyton but Cody rushes and catches him just as he bounces on the middle rope. Cody goes for a German Suplex but Buzzard flips all the way over and lands on his feet. Cody turns around and eats a handful of kicks followed by a Spinning Heel Kick to the face that knocks Cody down. He rolls out of the ring to get a bit of a breather but Leyton is hot on his tail. He runs to the other side of the ring to build some momentum before shooting out of the ring like a canon with a Suicide Dive!
Tom Phillips: Buzzard is fighting like he's got something to prove here tonight.
Corey Graves: He does have something to prove. Despite what he wants to believe, he got beat clean in the middle of the ring with no interference from The Butcher. If you ask me, he's fighting for a spot on this roster.
Mauro Ranallo: Cody's got name recognition to always come back to the UWF but Buzzard doesn't have that distinction. A win over a legend like Cody keeps him looking strong going forward.
Leyton is pumped and pretty pleased with himself thus far. Knowing his high risk offense is what's doing the job, He jumps back up onto the apron and starts to climb to the top rope. Cody is slowly getting to his feet and doesn't seem to notice where Leyton is. Buzzard comes off the top rope with another Moonsault and takes out the American Nightmare! Buzzard picks up Cody and tosses him back into the ring. Leyton rushes back to the top rope once again and waits as Cody gets to his feet. Next thing you know, Buzzard comes off with a Meteora, driving Coy's skull into the mat! He makes the pin!
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Cody kicks out! Buzzard brings him back to his feet and sets him up for the Buzzard Driver. Cody starts to fight back and elbows up to hit Leyton in the face. He walks away but comes running right back at Cody. Rhodes ends up dropping him with a Dropkick to the face! Buzzard rushes back up to his feet and Cody Irish Whips him to the ropes. He bends down for a back body drop but Leyton flips over him for a Sunset Flip but Cody actually ends up catching his feet and stands up. Leyton is hanging upside down over Cody's back and Rhodes pulls him forward for the Alabama Slam! With Leyton's legs in the air from the impact, Cody grabs them and places him in the Figure Four Leglock!
Tom Phillips: Cody trying to neutralize the high flying offense of Buzzard's that got the best of him so far tonight.
Corey Graves: Cody became one of the greatest of all time when he would pick apart his opponents. This nice guy act isn't going to cut it and I hope he realizes that right now.
Buzzard is in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go. He's trying to pull himself closer to the ropes but Cody is bigger and is laying on his back to make sure he keeps him in place. Buzzard starts to rock from side to side, trying to build enough momentum to turn over. Cody is trying to prevent it but Buzzards pulls it off and all the pain is now on Cody's end. Rhodes rushes to the ropes and drags Buzzard along with him to break the hold. The ref helps untangle their feet and Leyton crawls back to the middle of the ring. He tires to get to his feet but he collapses from the pain. Cody mean while is up and shakes off the leg pain. Buzzard forces himself back to his feet but as soon as that happens, Cody comes flying in with the Cody Cutter! He makes the pin!
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Buzzard kicks out! Cody brings him back to his feet and hooks both arms of his. He flits him up for the Tiger driver 98' but Buzzard actually uses the momentum to pull himself all the way up and hooks his legs around Cody's head and flips him forward with a Hurricanrana! Cody rolls forward back up to his feet but Buzzard gives him an Enzuigiri! Cody is stunned and Buzzard pops back up. He limps over to the ropes and jumps on the middle rope. H'es not as explosive but he does enough to jumps back for Air Leyton! Cody however ducks and catches his back. He reaches over him and leans him back to hit the Cross Rhodes! He makes the pin!
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Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes!
Cody gets his hand raised but he looks down at Buzzard and claps for him, telling the crowd to give it up for him. Buzzard comes to and sees him and Cody offer his hand to help him up. Leyton looks at him and just ignores him, rolling out of the ring and heading up the ramp. Cody looks on and shakes his head at him as the show moves on.
Following the last segment, the camera feed appears to leave the arena and opens up in a comic book and toy store, where a semi-distressed looking Danhausen is browsing some of the shelves.
Danhausen
Argh! Danhausen had to leave the building briefly because it’s been inhabited by more weirdos than he can count. So he popped into this local toy store in order to air his thoughts instead. Because he can do so in very nice, very luxurious harmony, and also purchase the latest hot releases with human monies. But before Danhausen shops till he drops, he is contractually obligated to give his thoughts on the current Cryme Tyme Medal Holder, Notorious Death Man, as he has supposedly followed the same path as Danhausen and earned the right to challenge for the Intercointinental Title.
Danhausen
Now Danhausen recalls many moonhausens ago when he progressed in the Sovereign Ruler tournament at the expense of Death Man and Texas Relativity that the former seemed to be somewhat insistent that the outcome was an accident of some sort, and that on any other occasion he would have emerged victorious. Well fortune works in mysterious ways, because now he’s going to get the chance to try and right the wronghausens of the past and take Danhausen’s title away from him.
Danhausen
But what kind of champion would Danhausen be if he allowed that to happen? One of the worst he reckons, and there are quite a few unworthy contenders for that dishonorable title! Fret not though dear fanhausens, for Danhausen has no intention of going down without a fight to anyone who steps across the ring from him, whether that be Death Man, or any of the ghouls and goons that he will be facing in this Spooktacular King Fight that he’s entered himself into tonight. The land of Ultimate Wrestling, haunted or not, still belongs to the very nice, very evil one!
Danhausen props the Intercontinental Title onto his shoulder and does his signature cursing pose as the camera cuts to a commercial.
The scene opens up on Batista pacing back and forth in front of The Guild, who are nervously standing there as he does.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: You couldn’t handle Eddie Kingston and it cost me the match at Bad Blood! Is there anyone the two of you can handle? Is there anything the two of you can be trusted not to completely fuck up? You should be seizing opportunities instead of shitting the bed! I notice neither of your pansy asses entered the Battle Royale. I mean yeah they’re all playing dress-up like a bunch of candy hungry kids but who gives a shit, that special opportunity could’ve been something beneficial to The Guild! What’s it going to take to inspire you? Do I go beat the hell out of Cody Rhodes and Kyle O’Reilly to prove it can be done? Because I can! I’ll beat that diabetic dipshit until his Granna can’t cry another tear! I’ll stick my boot so far up Cody’s ass he can wear it as a mask! IS THAT WHAT IT’S GONNA TAKE?
Before either man can answer, Batista storms offscreen and a door is heard slamming as the show continues elsewhere.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome your NEW UWF CHAMPION... SHARK BOY!
GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
The glass shatters and the crowd leap to their feet as 'Fast As A Shark' by Accept plays over the PA system. Before long as the pounding Speed Metal blares throughout the arena our new UWF Champion - UWF's resident 'Shellraiser' Shark Boy walks out onto the stage with that UWF Championship belt firmly in his grasp with one hand. He's still as mean as ever mouthing off in each and every direction as he makes his way down the ramp. Shark Boy stomps up the ring steps and through the ropes into the ring where he heads straight for the corner and the top rope where he throws the title belt high in the air with one hand and a triumphant fist in the air with the other. Shark Boy takes all the adulation as confetti begins to fall down from the sky. Shark Boy repeats the feat at each corner of the ring before he takes a long look at the title belt and steps down to be handed the microphone by Chimel who makes way for the new champion to speak.
Shark Boy: Cod damn it's been eight long years and ya ain't even givin' me a damn Sharkweiser yet?!, EH-EH!, gimme a damn Sharkweiser!
Shark Boy signals and he's thrown a couple cans of his signature beer which he knocks back with aplomb.
OH SHELL YEAH THAT FELT GOOD!
The crowd roar on Shark Boy, now covered in confetti and beer before he raises the microphone to his mouth.
Now that I'm adequately hydrated... like I said, it's been eight cod damn years since I've held this title right here. For damn near six of those years I was sat at home wonderin' if I'd even lace up a pair of boots again. Six years sittin' at home with Shark Girl n the lil' Baby Sharks watchin' the UWF on the TV just fixin' to get my bass back in the mix. And through hard work, grit, determination I got my bass back in ring shape, I came back to the UWF and with each and every one of y'all Shark-O-Holics by my side... I guess I finally gone and done it... I got the big one and I am your new UWF World Champion!
Shark Boy raises the title in the air before placing it over his shoulder.
Now I know this is a celebration - it's an opportunity to reflect so that's what I'm gon' do. See... this was never meant to be was it?, I mean guys like me aren't made to be World Champion. And it was the same last time. It wasn't meant to be. The underdogs, the misfits - the guys and gals out there that don't fit in, that don't play by the same rules as everyone else... the damn outcasts... we're never meant to have all this. Well they say lightning don't strike twice and for a while I thought that too but I guess just like we do every time we overcome the odds, every time Shark Boy whoops the guy twice his size... every time Shark Boy gets back up from bein' knocked down, bowled over and left in the dirt... we overcame the odds. And with each and every one of you chantin' my name, wearin' the masks, believin' in the little ol' shark that could... we proved everyone wrong, again - and maybe we proved that Shark Boy does belong in the main event, maybe Shark Boy is the guy to be the leader here and maybe just maybe this lil' shark is the champion the UWF needs with an army thousands strong out there, any army of misfits, outcasts, underdogs... average joes... with this title here I proved to you that we can be the best, we can be all that we want to be and I hope that this title belt represents the same kinda inspiration y'all give Shark Boy each and every week. This one is for all of you.
Shark Boy nods looking at the crowd in a rare moment of humility and appreciation for the support he receives every week.
Now enough of all that shrimp - I ain't the sentimental type and these ain't tears in my eyes it's spilt beer!
The crowd laugh as Shark Boy looks around at the crowd who chant his name.
Now that all that grace and decorum is over I just want to say how damn good it feels to be champion again! - It's been a shell of a road. There's been bumps and sharp turns and I've damn near been off the edge - no pun intended, for once - but to finally hold this gold. After all the close calls, near misses, screw jobs... it feels even sweeter and to beat that son of a fish Edge?... shell, it don't get much better than that but I'm under no illusion. Edge will be back for this belt - and when he comes callin', I'll be waitin' to whip his bass even more than before. See Edge pushed a new side out of Shark Boy that ol' Shark Boy didn't know was there. I felt it - I told Edge I felt it building up. An animal instinct. A new level I could go to that I don't even know if I can control and Edge pushed, he pushed and he pushed again desperate to see ol' Dean Matthew Roll and he didn't get ol' DMR 'cos like I said... DMR is dead and gone... what he got was the truest representation of the shark that resides inside Shark Boy and it's somethin' he ain't gon' be in a rush to see anytime soon and I'll be honest... I don't know if I'm in any rush to see it again anytime soon either, I was like a damn man possessed in there.
But I digress... I know that Edge is gon' come back to get some more of Shark Boy and shell, I invite him to do so - we need the tie breaker but I also know that there's a locker room full of studs back there just chompin' at the bit to get their shot, to get their opportunity just like Shark Boy was for all those years. Guys like the TV Champion, Trevor Lee, Tommaso Ciampa, Cody Rhodes, Kyle O'Reilly, Trent Seven, Homicide, Batista, Danhausen... shell, even that sorry son of a fish Sami Zayn - the list goes on but I know there's a big ol' target on my back right now and I welcome the chase. Guys like Seth Rollins, Edge... shell, even CM Punk when they were champions would hide behind their henchmen, hide behind their managers, their family... whatever it may be but that ain't the way Shark Boy's gon' do business, nah son, I am standing here makin' damn sure everybody knows that Shark Boy is gon' be a fighting champion taking any and all comers.
The crowd roar behind the fighting talk from Shark Boy who turns towards the entrance ramp.
Now tonight - tonight might be just that opportunity for anyone in that locker room that's hungry enough to take it. Hungry enough to seize the moment and take the opportunity in front 'em. In fact, right about now once ol' Shark Boy's done ravin' n' ramblin' we're gon' have ourselves the Halloween Havoc Battle Royal where any damn person walkin' around backstage can take that chance. Throw every other man over the top rope and earn themselves the favour of EC3. Fact of the matter is this, Shark Boy is gon' be watchin' the Battle Royal very closely because the next contender to this here belt could be in the match... and it could be absolutely anyone and that just tickles Shark Boy all the right ways. So I'll be watchin' backstage, I'll be knockin' back a few Sharkweisers with my distinguished guest here, Mr UWF Championship and after it's all said and done... I'm fixin' to have myself a little beer bash with the winner because I'm just in a celebratin' kinda mood!
The crowd also in a celebratory mood roar in approval.
So I'm 'bout ready to get my bass backstage and get comfy for the main event but just know, whoever wins tonight or whoever EC3 decides to send my way... just know that when you're comin' at the shark you best not miss 'cos it will bite ya on the bass. I ain't fixin' to drop this belt anytime soon and I'm gon' do everything it takes to hold onto this belt until I ain't got nothin' left to give. So tonight we celebrate, we drink beer and be merry but Shark Boy's gon' be straight back to work, trainin' harder than ever... fightin' with every ounce of my bein' to go down as the most fightingest champion this company has ever seen. It took me a long-bass time to get this title belt back and it's gon' take a long-bass time to pry this out of the mouth of this shark and THAT'S THE FISHIN' LIIIIINE... COS SHARK BOY SAID SO!
The glass shatters and 'Fast as a Shark' plays again as Shark Boy hits the top ropes to throw his fists high in the air once more as we go to a commercial break
DING DING DING!
Upon the sound of the bell, this fifteen-man fracas immediately turns into a proper bedlam, everyone pairing off as best as they can to try and secure themselves the prize. And all over the ring, there’s nothing but brawling:
In the top-left corner of the ring, there is a two-versus-three going on as Drew Gulak and Wheeler Yuta, albeit hidden beneath the costumes of Gritty and the Philly Phanatic, face off with Christian (dressed up as Brood Edge), Mansoor (dressed up as…Christian) and…some dude in a really, really good Shark Boy cosplay?
In the top-right, it is Baron Corbin having to deal with another former UWF star in Scott Hall, who seems a tad uninspired with their gear given his Tony Montana getup.
In the bottom-left, ironically enough, we see Sting and MJF scuffle, while The Boogeyman and John Cena battle it out.
Then, in the bottom-right, Tommaso Ciampa is seen fending off the unlikely duo of Bo Dallas (dressed as a devil) and Sir Danhausen of the cursed table.
Rather unsurprisingly, or surprisingly if you are easily shocked, Nick Gage is left without anyone actually wanting to brawl with a goddamn deathmatch legend, so what’s a man to do? Simple enough - go through the middle rope, go under the ring, and grab yourself a goddamn pizza cutter, because you’re dressed up as the mother f--king Dominoes pizza delivery man!
Corey Graves: ”I…have a bad feeling towards about fourteen people in that ring right now…”
Tom Phillips: ”Wow, surprised you are actually caring about the well-being of the Philly Phanatic, Corey.”
Corey Graves: ”.....Tom if I was allowed to in my contract I would be choking your life out right now.”
Okay, commentator violence aside, it’s wrestler violence time! Nick Gage, like a man looking to deliver his pain in thirty minutes or less, goes straight for the biggest, baddest, toughest man in the match, the only man who didn’t need a costume because he’s that darn scary, The Boogeyman, and takes a quick slice of that pepperoni-looking forehead of his! But to Gage’s shock, Boogeyman simply no-sells it! This man hit himself over the head with actual CLOCKS in his entrances, folks, what is a pizza cutter going to do? Clearly not enough, as Gage’s staredown with The Boogeyman leaves him distracted, as he is easily blindsided by John Cena, and tossed over the top rope!
NICK GAGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Tom Phillips: ”And what a first elimination! A big score for John Cena there, picking off a distracted Nick Gage!”
Mauro Ranallo: ”An ever-elusive Cena W may be on the way tonight if he can continue performing as we’ve seen so far!”
This, however, still leaves Cena with a Boogeyman-sized problem to deal with, as the creepy face painted man begins shucking and jiving towards Cena, scaring the hell out of both him and Eve, the duo dressed as Peacemaker and Emilia Harcourt from the hit HBO max show! Wonder who stars in it?
Regardless, Boogeyman’s spooky act isn’t convincing enough for one man…or rather, for one certain OTHER face painted man, as Danhausen breaks away from his brawl with former rival Tommaso Ciampa to stare down The Boogeyman! But then, neither of these two are convincing for one man, or rather, for ANOTHER certain face painted man, as Sting breaks off from the MJF fight to join the three-way staredown!
Corey Graves: ”...Great, folks, we have a certified gathering of the Juggalos in the making right here in the center of a UWF ring…”
Tom Phillips: ”Can I get a woop woop, Corey?!”
Corey Graves: ”I swear to god, Tom, I am going to woop woop your ass in about five seconds!”
With the three face painted men staring down, there is a woop that is called out, just without the p, as Sting calls out to his fans in the arena, getting a loud “WOO!” in response. The Boogeyman, not wishing to be upstaged, starts dancing like a possessed man having a seizure once again, leaving the fans more confused and excited for whatever this is than before. Danhausen, however, has a much simpler response…and HE CURSES BOTH STING AND BOOGEYMAN!
With the curse established, both Sting and Boogeyman balk in surprise, before suddenly…it hits them! The two act as though they have been shot by a bolt of lightning, the two jittering and stuttering in each step taken…before the two men suddenly fly over the top rope, crashing to the floor!
THE BOOGEYMAN AND STING HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
Corey Graves: ”I…I-I don’t…I d-don’t believe this…”
Tom Phillips: ”Danhausen…Danhausen just…”
Mauro Ranallo: ”MAMA MIAAAAAA!!! DANHAUSEN, WITH THE POWER OF KING ARTHUR ON HIS SIDE, JUST SCORED A DOUBLE ELIMINATION WITH THE EQUALLY LEGENDARY DOUBLE CURSE!”
With that having certainly happened, the cameras are barely able to pick up that the trio of Brood Edge, Christian, and…Shark Boy(?) have broken up, with Edge and Shark Boy beating down on Christian…or, rather, Christian dressed as Brood Edge and…..somebody dressed as Shark Boy beat down on Mansoor dressed as Christian? POINT IS, the double team works, as Mansoor is soon sent flying over the top rope by Christian!
MANSOOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
In another blink-and-you-miss-it moment, however, just seconds later, there’d be two more bodies joining them on the opposite side of the ring, as a running crossbody from the delightfully devilish Bo Dallas would see him crash into MJF, sending the both of them tumbling carelessly over the top!
BO DALLAS AND MJF HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
Mauro Ranallo: ”With less than ten men in the match now, it seems they’re starting to drop like flies!”
And indeed they are, Mauro, as two more get sent out - this time in the form of Gritty and The Philly Phanatic, taken out by a double-team from Brood Edge and Shark Boy(?)!
WHEELER YUTA AND DREW GULAK HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
However, mere moments after that duo is gone, another is split, as the Shark Boy cosplayer throws out Christian!
CHRISTIAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
With the Shark Boy cosplayer chummin’ it up, jaw-jackin’ to Christian on the outside, only one saying comes to mind: D.T.A. - Don’t Trust Anyone. Especially not in a battle royal. With it being down to the final six now, though, that seems especially true, as they partner off once more - Corbin with Cena, Hall with Ciampa, and Danhausen with the Shark Boy portrayer. Of course, the battle royal continues on…after a commercial break~!
Mauro Ranallo: ”Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back! In case you missed it during the commercial break, we saw our field shrink down from six to four, as both Baron Corbin and more recently Scott Hall were taken out, both men eliminated by none other than former UWF Intercontinental Champion Tommaso Ciampa!”
A replay would show, with Ciampa dumping them both out separately with…some Ciampa thing, probably a knee or something, who knows? Point is, both men are out.
BARON CORBIN AND SCOTT HALL HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
With the final four now established, it seems that Danhausen is prepping up another spell, looking towards the three men remaining aside from him - Tommaso Ciampa, John Cena, and the Shark Boy-clad mystery man. However, as he goes to fire it off, aiming for Ciampa first…Cena gets pulled into harm’s way! Acting out of cowardice of the power that Sir Danhausen could potentially theoretically possibly hold, he gets Cena in the curse’s crossfire instead, causing him to begin shaking uncontrollably, which leads to him being abruptly tossed over the top rope by the Shark Boy cosplayer!
JOHN CENA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
With another in the clip, though, Danhausen fires…and Ciampa dodges the curse yet again, with the Shark Boy cosplayer taking the blow! However, due to it being angled only at the knee, his…her…the person’s knee is what gives out, causing them to roll under the ropes!
Corey Graves: ”Danhausen, you fool! Ciampa’s seen this trick far too often! How do you expect to curse him when he’s suffered the effects twice?!”
With Corey calling out this factoid, it seems to be nothing short of a self-fulfilling prophecy, as Danhausen looks to point ONE MORE TIME…only to be rushed with a knee strike from Ciampa, which backs Danhausen into the corner, allowing Tommaso to lift him to the top rope and dump him clean over the top, to the apron and onto the floor!
DANHAUSEN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
With that, Ciampa turns around, seeing nobody else around, and closes his eyes for a moment, looking to bask in his victory…but what he is met with instead to bask in is…a Helluva Kick?!
Tom Phillips: ”W-What the hell?!”
Mauro Ranallo: ”W-Where the hell did Sami Zayn come from?!”
Corey Graves: ”THERE YOU GO, SAMI! Teach Ciampa what it means when you don't stay in your own lane!!!”
Scuttling his way out of the ring, Zayn is all smiles…especially as the Shark Boy cosplayer stirs, getting to their feet and rolling back inside!
Corey Graves: ”Wait, they weren’t eliminated? OH GOD, THEY WEREN’T ELIMINATED!”
Tom Phillips: ”Y-You’re right, Corey! They went under the bottom rope thanks to Danhausen’s curse!”
Corey Graves: ”God…if that is someone who is a big enough fan of Shark Boy so as to dress as him…I shudder to think of who can be under that mask…”
As the cosplayer gets to their feet, they walk over to Ciampa, and rather than go for the attack…they bring the former IC Champ to their feet. For a moment, all is still, as nobody is quite sure what’s to come…but then, what is to come turns out to be a Chummer! A chummer onto Ciampa, who drops to their knees, staggers to their feet…and is met with a clothesline that sends them packing!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: ”LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE IS YOUR WINNER…”
As Chimel stops, unsure of who even is under the mask, out comes none other than the REAL Shark Boy, who is most certainly smiling underneath that mask of his. Carrying two Sharkweisers in hand, he strolls into the ring, handing one off to his doppelganger in an effort to celebrate.
Mauro Ranallo: ”Wait…was this just a…a ploy by Shark Boy?”
Tom Phillips: ”No…n-no that…that can’t be right…”
Corey Graves: Wait…Shark Boy’s a genius! If this truly was all a ploy, then Shark Boy may be the second-smartest champion in UWF currently, right behind Sami Zayn! This was BRILLIANT!”
As Shark Boy downs his Sharkweiser rather swiftly, the cosplayer cracks their can open as well…but as Shark Boy turns around to grab another, the cosplayer…pours the can out behind them? Dropping the empty can, they crouch down…AND AS SHARK BOY TURNS AROUND, HE IS MET WITH A SPEAR FROM THE COSPLAYER?!
After a few moments, the person in the mask stands to their feet…
AND (after tearing off the rest of the cosplay along the way) REVEALS THEMSELVES TO BE NONE OTHER THAN THE RATED-R SUPERSTAR, EDGE!
With the UWF Champion down, Edge stares down at Shark Boy, giving a small smirk to the man who he has now guaranteed a rematch against as Revolution comes to a close…
END OF SHOW
Credits
Halloween Battle Royal - Leedles
Seven vs Kingston - Fauche
Buzzard vs Rhodes, Kyle vs Moxley - Danny