Post by Danny on Nov 3, 2022 17:13:33 GMT -6
We head to the arena where the pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Corey Graves: Last week, Edge proved to be a true mastermind when he outsmarted everyone and found himself to be the winner of the Halloween Battle Royal!
Tom Phillips: There may be some consequences to those actions tonight as Stone Cold looks to set things right.
Mauro Ranallo:And in our main event, its the battle of the champions as Shark Boy takes on Danhausen.
Tom Phillips: I don't know who to root for!
Corey Graves: Me neither.
Tom Phillips: They're not the only champions in action tonight as Trevor Lee takes on Homicide.
Corey Graves: Again not the only battle of champions as the Forever Champion takes on the Hollywood Champion! Now that's a real main event!
Mauro Ranallo:Plus it's a hard hitting affair as Kyle O'Reilly does battle with Tommaso Ciampa. All that and more but first let's head down to the ring where Eddie Kingston is standing by.
There would be no theme music, nothing of the sorts. Just the thudding of heavy boots upon the stage as the mad king would walk out to the sound of cheers from the crowd. A microphone already locked and loaded within his hand as well as he was not here, to merely make his presence be felt, he did not wish to be merely seen, he wanted to be heard as well and that, that was going to happen right here, right now live before the thousands of loyal fans who had taken the time and made the effort to come here this night. As he would move, walking down to the ring down the ramp with a look of nothing other than pure determination upon his face as he stepped up the steps, one at a time and then would slide into the ring and walk to stand right in the middle. One foot raised and brought down hard, and then the other as this right here, this was his ring, it always has been his ring and the last month, he has gone far out of his fucking way, to prove that point. As he licked his lips for the moment, breathed in and then started to speak.
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EDDIE KINGSTON | UWF MAD KING
TWENTY LONG YEARS I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR.
Stop me for the moment if you have heard that line before.
But it is nothing more than the truth. I have been working, hard my entire life and I have had to eat so much shit from everyone who I have ever come across in my life. people take one look at me, they look me up and down and shake their head and think like I am something, they have stepped on in the street, something to scrap off and forget about. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you have any idea, what that does to someone? To know people, look at you once and sum,
YOU UP THERE AND THEN.
THAT YOU ARE WORTHLESS.
THAT YOU ARE NOTHING.
THAT YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN A PIECE OF SHIT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
It is a sickening and horrible feeling and I know there are so many other people out there, who have been treated just the same. I am talking about those, who are born in the same type of places I am. With a dad who was not around, with a mom who was working three jobs, to make ends meet and still had time, to fucking be there for you when you needed them. from a place where those better off, would cross the street to avoid you and paint you as some piece of crap. People like us, are not meant to be anything over than what others say we are. Ev3eryonr says I am not good, I have no talent, I don’t belong here and yet. Look at me. I am still here, still taking the beatings and still coming back for me, because I know what it is like to be at the fucking bottom, and fight and claw, and pull yourself up from the gutter and fuck, the journey is nowhere, fucking nowhere near over. I still have so much more to do. So much more that needs to be done, but thee last two months, since my return, I have done nothing other than fight, fight like my life depends on it, because it fucking does. I am fighting, for that one chance, that one chance to make twenty years of hard work worth it, to show people.
YOU CAN MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF.
I am done, sitting around on my hands, taking shit from everyone, watching those who have not put in a shred of the work that I have get chances ahead of me. No more of that. I am here tonight, for one reason and one reason only, to let each and every single person in this crowd tonight and all the scumbags who doubt me in the back, that the mad king is now ready, to take that next step and challenge, and not just that. Not just challenge but win and become the UWF World Heavyweight Champion. A dream I have chased for so long, a dream the people here, have helped me move closer and closer towards and now here I am, it is within reach now, more than it has ever been before in my life and if there is anyone, fucking anyone in the back, who thinks, they are going to cut ahead of me, throw their name down to challenge for the title, then let me tell you this right here, right now. The mad king is done waiting around, the mad king is ready to become, the champion he was born to be and if anyone says otherwise, then … step down to this ring right here, get in and tell it to my fucking face.
The raucous crowd suddenly lets out all their hate and spite as the Forever Champion Sami Zayn comes out from the back bobbing his had to his music. He quickly tells the guys in the back to tcut the music as he looks down at Eddie from the stage.
Sami Zayn: I'm sorry Eddie, I was just going to let you continue to throw your temper tantrum and tire yourself out until you went to bed like the child you are but then you practically begged me to come out here.
Zayn continues to walk down the ramp until he reaches the apron which he climbs up but stays there to continue speaking.
Sami Zayn: I don't know what's gotten into folks lately. Maybe with Shark Boy as your champion, everyone thinks it's easy picking and while they might be right, what did guys like you or Ciampa ever do to deserve to get a title shot? So you beat Batista, who cares! What took you three month, I'm about to do in one night. Tomasso Ciampa barely got past Danhausen and he too thinks that makes him worthy of a UWF Championship. Let me know when you knock off legends left and right and then get back to me.
Zayn goes through the ropes and enters the ring. He puts his hand up, telling Eddie to keep his distance.
Sami Zayn: I know we've had a couple of run ins in the past. I've kicked your head clean off and you've punched me in the face a few times but let's not forget what happened the last time we were in this ring together. I embarrassed your buddy Moxley and beat the both of you in a tag team match. I know, I know, I'm considered a tag specialist and Moxley being the dead weight that he is brought you down some but the truth is, that had nothing to do with it. I'm just better than you at everything. Well strike that, you're better at being a piece of human garbage so congratulations on that.
Sami's words don't have much effect on Kingston who just laughs at his petty insults.
Sami Zayn: I'm at the top of my game right now. We're going on 5 months since my last singles match loss here in UWF. That happened to be a UWF Championship match so it was only against the current highest caliber talent at the time and it only happened because CM Punk decided to get in my business after I had already embarrassed him. None of the rest of you have been as dominant as I have. The fact that you people like to come out here and demand to be next in line is laughable. If you or anyone else honestly believes that you're better than me, than do something about it.
Zayn lowers his mic and steps up to Eddie. Not too close but just enough to pretend to be a tough guy.
Wherever I May Roam plays over the speakers and a heated looking Ciampa walks out onto the stage, he gets a positive reaction from the crowd, they seem to be happy that someone is coming out to stop Sami spouting bullshit. As he stormed down the ramp, Ciampa would lift the mic up to his mouth.
Ciampa: You know I was sitting in the back there, minding my own business. Enjoying my pre match meditation that my coach has prescribed me to help with my anger when I get interrupted by this high pitch whining noise. Like what a dog whistle sounds like. I look up and realize its coming from a monitor looking at the screen and then I realize, its coming from you Sami.
For weeks, no months we’ve all had to listen to you act like some sort of Wrestling Messiah, like we’d all be lost without you. You have the audacity to call Kingston a joke because you’re the biggest joke around here boy. You walk round here with that DEACTIVATED championship like it actually means something when its basically a replica title at this point. There's damn backyard wrestlers with cardboard titles that have more championship legitimacy than you.
The crowd would break out in an ohh, the venom in Ciampas words towards the so called forever champion is real. Ciampa would hop up onto the ring apron, his anger carrying him up.
Ciampa: You like to stand there and brag about being undefeated in five months but how many of these wins were clean and not without a little help from your old Luchadora pal or getting a cheap shot on somebody when their back is turned. When I've gone unpinned I do it on my own because I have some pride in myself, something you lack a lot of.
Like I said you walk around here with that championship like it still means something, when was the last time you actually held a real championship, was it about that time that hunk of gold was still active about a year ago. While you were playing champion, I was out there being champion for seven months and yeah Danhausen beat me but I got him in the return and I didn’t take my belt back because it didn’t define me but that hunk of gold defines you because without it, you’re nothing.
Getting in the ring Ciampa would turn to Eddie.
Ciampa: Sorry Kingston i didn’t mean any disrespect coming out here, you’re a fine competitor and congrats on beating Batista at Bad Blood, I loved it when that cage dropped on him but if there's anyone going after Shark Boy after Edge stole my opportunity because this little ginger troll attacked me, it's gonna be me and if I need to plant him in the ground so be it.
Ciampa would get right in Sami’s face, not letting the Canadian get any space between them. Sami puts his hands up and backs away. He tries to speak some sense into Ciampa but suddenly lunges forward and hits him in the head with the microphone! Ciampa falls to the mat and Zayn is all over him, punching him repeatedly but Tommaso grabs him and rolls over on top and starts laying into him. Zayn scurries away by grabbing Eddie's legs and pulling himself away. Ciampa gets back up and finds himself face to face with Eddie. Zayn ends up pushing Eddie and he and Ciampa knock heads. Ciampa tells Eddie to get out of the way and gives him a little shove but Zayn was on all fours behind him and Eddie trips over him. Zayn scurries away but Eddie pops right back to his feet and decks Ciampa. Tommaso fights back and soon the two men are brawling it out.
Corey Graves: Look at these two brutes acting like children.
Tom Phillips: Sami Zayn caused this.
Corey Graves: Sami was just getting out of harm's way between these savages.
Neither man is backing down as the continue to just swing away at each other. Security comes running out from the back and Zayn is walking up the ramp, also motioning for security like a loser. The guards come in and pull Ciampa and Eddie apart. They're busy having words with another while Zayn smiles as the show moves on.
As the cameras go backstage to continue Revolution rolling on, the scene fades into a darkened corridor, the lighting rather atrocious for television, but still just barely set up enough for the fans to understand this wasn’t just some technical difficulty. After a few seconds, a voice pierces through the hallway.
”One-hundred an’ sixteen days…”
After a few seconds, the boos in the arena intensify quite loudly, as the camera pans, revealing none other than Trevor Lee to be back in this corridor, a smirk on his face as he holds the UWF Television Title close to his chest.
Trevor Lee: ”It has been one-hundred an’ sixteen days since I went toe-to-toe wit’ mista’ Viper himself an’ walked outta’ that arena with this ‘ere U-Dubya-Eff Television Championship.”
His smirk growing wider, Trevor Lee pulls the title closer towards him, if that’s even possible.
Trevor Lee: ”An’ this piece o’ Harlan gold ‘ere, it’s got itself quite a history, don’t it folks? Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah it’s made quite a name for itself over the years, hasn’t it? Bein’ held by countless supposed U-Dubya-Eff ‘superstars’...yet as the days have ticked by, I’ve found myself outlastin’, out-survivin’, out-gunnin’, an’ out-performin’ each an’ every one of those so-called ‘champions’ o’ this gold’s past. Names like Damien Sandow, names like Stone Cold Steve Austin, names like Dolph Ziggler, names like Dean Baldwin - or, for those who ain’t got the time to try an’ look it up on Wikipedia, the man currently known as our reignin’ an’ defendin’ U-Dubya-Eff World Champion Shark Boy. ‘Ell, even names like our very own owner o’ the U-Dubya-Eff, Mista’ Carter himself…are all people who I have gone on an’ surpassed as champion.”
Letting his grin settle, Lee looks around for a moment, almost…hesitant to continue on, but another look down at his Harlan Gold gives him all the motivation he needs.
Trevor Lee: ”Out o’ every single U-Dubya-Eff Television Champion in its history…outta’ fifty-two different reigns, an’ a gran’ ol’ total o’ forty-four different people to hold this ‘ere piece o’ Harlan Gold…there’s only six men who I ‘ave yet to surpass. Ya’ wanna’ know who those men are, folks?”
As his smile begins to fade, Lee stares off into, and seemingly beyond, the camera.
Trevor Lee: ”Daniel Bryan. Drew Gulak. Chad Gable. Rey Mysterio. Vinny Marseglia, an’ the longest reignin’ champion of ‘em all, one mista’ Aleister Black.”
Taking a moment to allow himself a deep breath, when Lee opens his eyes, he stares downwards at the Television Title…and everything just seems right in the world for him. As he looks back to the camera, there’s no smirk. Just an appearance of determination, no facade necessary to accomplish that.
Trevor Lee: ”In five days’ time, I surpass Daniel Bryan as the sixth-best U-Dubya-Eff Television Champion o’ all time, folks. In just two months, I will have surpassed all o’ those names…an’ ya’ may wonder why I say that I will surpass them, an’ not if I hold onto this ‘ere TV Title for that long. To put it oh so simply for y’all, that is ‘cause there ain’t a gosh darn thing that anyone on the U-Dubya-Eff roster can do to pry this title outta’ my hands. I have shed plenty o’ blood, sweat, an’ tears to get where I am right now, to be able to hold onto this ‘ere piece o’ Harlan Gold, to parade wit’ it wrapped ‘round my waist an’ showcased as the true prize that it is, an’ to be quite honest, I don’t care what y’all try to throw at me.
Mista’ Carter, I know that ya’ watchin’ this - ‘ell, ya’ watch everythin’ that I do, ‘cause I am one o’ the brightest stars that the U-Dubya-Eff has seen not just in the past six months, but of all time. I shine brighter than Edge, brighter than Shark Boy, brighter than that Bristol-born BASTARD Leyton Buzzard…brighter than anybody that has ever walked on down to that there U-Dubya-Eff ring an’ tried to make a name for themselves. So I just wanted to tell ya’ this, mista’ Carter: send me whoever ya’ want. Send me Steve Austin, send me Kyle O’Reilly, send me Cody Rhodes, send me that Bristol-born bastard again…send me whoever ya’ want, ‘cause in the end?”
After a few seconds, Lee begins to chuckle to himself.
Trevor Lee: ”In the end, I will STUN Steve Austin, I will put Kyle O’Reilly into diabetic shock, I will make The American Nightmare wish it was all just a dream, an’ I will be more than glad to cave in Leyton Buzzard’s chest, skull, an’ anythin’ else that is left o’ him when I’m through…because I am mista’ Trevor Lee…!”
Taking a pause, Lee holds the UWF Television Title right next to his face, watching as the plating shines in such dim lighting, reflecting his face off of the centerpiece, his serpentine grin growing once more.
Trevor Lee: ”An’ I am goin’ to go down in history as the single greatest U-Dubya-Eff Television Champion…one way or another~.”
Remaining with a smirk on his face, after a few moments, the cameras shift elsewhere…
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
A familiar phrase echoes throughout the arena, leading into the opening bassline of Headlong Flight by Rush and with it, a chorus of boos. However, as each instrument joins into the song, smoke begins to fill the stage and before long, a figure walks out from behind the stage into the smoke. No bounding from one side to the other, Edge moves slowly, like a predator taking in his surroundings in order to best pounce on his prey. The crowd is not shy with their disdain for the Ultimate Opportunist, showering him in boos as he stalks down the ramp. Halfway down, he pauses, crouching low, his face contorting as he bares his fangs and in one motion, uncoils upwards, his hands held high with devil horns as pyro explodes behind him.
As the pyro finishes exploding, Edge slowly brings his head back to level and walks towards the ring. Only a few steps away, he runs and slides into the ring and as he moves towards a turnbuckle to pose and soak in more hate and boos, the ring announcer chimes in.
Tony Chimel
Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds. He is the Ultimate Opportunist, Edge!
Glass breaks as Stone Cold Stave Austin comes out and he shake his head while he walk down the entrance ramp.
He turns to the right as he walk up the steel steps and he walk along the ropes. He stop as he walk through the ring ropes and he gets into the ring. He walk over to the turnbuckle as he raised both os his hands up while Edge watches on. He climbs down from the turnbuckle as he walk over to the other turnbuckle and he raised both of his hands into the air. He climbs down from the turnbuckle and he looks at Edge before his theme music stops playing.
Tony Chimel
Hailing from Victoria, Texas, weighing in at 252 pounds. He is the Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin!
VS 
DING DING DING
Both men tied up as they tried to overpower each other with their strength and Edge got the upper hand. He locks in the headlock and he tightens the hold until Steve pushes him away. Edge hits the ropes and he bounces from the ropes and Stone Cold knocks him down with a clothesline. He goes for the pin and Edge quickly kicks out before Stone Cold stomps on his chest. Then he grabs his chin and he puts him in a sleeper hold as Edge tries to get out.
The referee asks Edge if he gives up and Edge shakes his head as Adam tries to get out. Edge looks like he is struggling before the referee asks him if he gives up as he still shakes his head no. Being a hard head to give up the match that easily. Edge manages to gain the strength to lift his hands up as he grabs Steve’s neck and he breaks it by hitting the neckbreaker. Stone Cold breaks the hold. Edge goes to Stone Cold as he grabs him and he places him near the turnbuckle. He gives him some kick to the chest and punches to the face before he picks up Steve on the turnbuckle. He climbs up and Steve tries to escape before Edge gives him another good punch for good measure. Then Edge grabs Stone Cold’s hand and he places it over his shoulder as he pulls Austin. He jumps off the turnbuckle as he hits the superplex on Stone Cold and he crawls over to Steve. He hooks the leg and the referee begins the count.
Mauro Ranallo: Edge is going for the superplex!
1………..
2……..
And a kick out.
Edge can’t believe it. Edge grabs Stone Cold as he hits a quick Edgecution and he hooks the leg.
1…….
2…….
And a kick out.
Edge’s eyes pop out as he can’t believe it and he goes over to the referee. The referee tells him that it is only two. Steve Austin comes from behind and he rolls Edge up with a roll up.
Mauro Ranallo: Edge can’t believe Stone Cold kicked out!
Corey Graves: Stone Cold is full of surprises tonight.
1…..
And a kick out.
Edge gets upset as he quickly runs at Steve and Stone Cold ducks the clothesline from Adam. He quickly drops him down with a back body drop and he walks over to Edge as he gives him a mudhole stomping in the middle of the ring. Then he runs to the ropes as he bounces from it and he hits the diving elbow drop. He quickly hooks the leg and the referee begins the count.
1…..
2…..
And a kick out.
Tom Phillips: Close, no cigar for Stone Cold.
Corey Graves: Edge managed to kick out of that one.
Stone Cold grabs Edge and he whips him to the ropes as Edge bounces from the ropes. He jumps on him and he hits Lou Thesz press with punches as Edge is down. He is waiting for Edge to get up and Steve is smiling as Edge turns around. Stone Cold kicks him in the chest and he hits him with the Stone Cold Stunner as Edge is down.
Mauro Ranallo: Edge just got stunned!!!
Tom Phillips: Stone Cold Stunner on Adam by Stone Cold!!!!
Corey Graves: There is no way it is over for the Rattlesnake!!!!
Stone Cold hooks the leg and the referee begins the count.
1……..
2……….
And a kick out.
Mauro Ranallo: Oh my god!!! Adam managed to kick out!!!
Tom Phillip: How in the hell did Edge manage to kick out!!!!
Corey Graves: The Rated Superstar never gives up that easily.
Stone Cold can’t believe it as he grabs Edge and hits him in the chest. He is about to hit the stunner as Edge pushes him off and Edge bounces off from the ropes. Steve Austin turns around and he gets knocked down by a huge spear by Edge. Edge hooks the leg and the referee begins the count.
1……….
2……….
And 3.
Winner by pinfall……….Edge!!!!
Mauro Ranallo: It looks like Edge is ready to win back the UWF Championship for sure.
Tom Phillips: That was one hell of a match.
Corey Graves: The Rated R Superstar has done it again. He came out on top and proved to everyone why he deserved that UWF Championship belt.
Edge smirks and he motions with his hands about wearing the UWF Championship belt in his hand while he laughs at the camera.The scene fades and ends with Edge celebrating his win while Stone Cold Steve Austin holds his broken ribs from the huge spear he has taken.
The titantron switches from the UWF graphic to a live feed from backstage. Kyle O'Reilly is shown in the locker room, just starting to prepare for his match later on tonight. Then, suddenly, a knock at the door! The Diabetic Dragon rolls his eyes and hollers over his shoulder.
KO'R: I already told you Renee, I don't wanna do an interview today!
Tough luck, Canuck. The door swings open regardless. Kyle turns to chew out Renee Young but it ain't her coming in. It's Granna O'Reilly! She lights up a dart and smiles to see her grandson getting prepared for another day at the office.
Granna: Oooh, that's my grandboy! You better be doing your stretches, Kyle. You don't want to get cramps again, do you?
Kyle's wide eyes and dropped jaw tighten up as he rushes over to snatch that cigarette away.
KO'R: Granna! Oh my gosh! You can't smoke in here! You can't even be in here! This is the MEN'S locker room. Ya know... men.
Extra emphasis with a downward nod. Granna waves off that nonsense.
Granna: Oh shushup Kyle. There's nothing here that Granna hasn't seen before. Speaking of, I brought Miguel out to watch your match tonight too. Isn't that great? He's so supportive!
The Canadian Psycho's eye twitches. His words come out like gusts of steam from a simmering pot with the lid on, ready to pop.
KO'R: You... brought... that... home... wrecker... here...
Granna: Well it's not like I had to drag him along! He wanted to be here to support you, sweetie! Oh, and he brought that cutie pie daughter of his along, too. You know, the one that's a wrestler like you? I was hoping maybe you could put in a good word for her with that hunky boss of yours.
Kyle can't believe his ears. He leans up against the lockers to tell ol' Granna what's what.
KO'R: Look, Granna. The sport of professional wrestling is no place for a girl. You wanna know what happened last time I wrestled a girl? I punched her in the face. Do you really think that gross old Miguel wants to see his daughter get punched in the face?
Granna pulls another cigarette out of her handbag and shrugs while lighting it up.
Granna: I seem to recall a girl beating your little golden belt a while back, isn't that true?
KO'R: Yeah, well, but....
Granna: Besides, I thought you queers were supposed to be on board with the whole "liberal agenda" thing. What's more lefty than a woman doing a man's sport?
KO'R: Being gay doesn't mean I have to be progressive, Granna. That's racist.
She waves him off again as she turns towards the door to leave.
Granna: Well I can see you're in one of your moods. You should check your blood sugar, just in case. I'll be with Miguel and his girl, and if you remember your manners you can come say hi.
Kyle crosses his arms poutily, refusing to even dignify that with a responose. Just before Granna leaves, she adds...
Granna: Oh, and Kyle hon, I saw you're fighting a Wop tonight. You remember what I told you by the I-talians, don't you?
He sighs and recites her lesson robotcially.
KO'R: Yeah... that just because they're Catholics doesn't mean we have to respect them.
Granna: That's right. Good luck out there!
Granna O'Reilly goes to find her seat while Kyle grumpily starts to lace up his boots. Revolution rolls on!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first…
When the southern alt. rock hit "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" starts playing throughout the arena, the fans' excitement is turned into scorn as out struts the man best known either as the mayor of Harlan, Kentucky or as the current UWF Television Champion, one mister Trevor Lee. Stepping in time with his brand spankin' new theme song, Trevor Lee is given a showcase of the "respect" that the fans have for him, as a cacophony of jeers rain down upon the champ, with them quickly amplifying as Lee stands at the top of the entrance ramp, giving a double finger point to the gorilla position right as "The Butcher" Andy Williams comes to join him.
Tony Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by "The Butcher" Andy Williams...weighing in at 220 lbs, he is the current UWF Television Champion, and would like to ask everyone in attendance to go vote for his re-election as mayor of his hometown of Harlan, Kentucky...Trevor Lee!
As Lee makes his way down the ramp, he has that sinister, serpent's grin put on full display as he looks out around at the gathered crowd, pamphlets focusing on his re-election in one hand, while the other clutches on oh so tightly to his precious "Harlan Gold". Offering out the pamphlets like candy, Lee doesn't bat an eye as a majority of the fans either toss them on the ground or rip them up, as his focus remains on simply basking in his own entrance.
Once at ringside, Lee opts to take the long road, striding to the hardcam side with that damned devilish grin on his face, Andy following closely behind to prevent any ambushes like a good bodyguard does. Hopping up knees-first onto the ring apron, mister Trevor Lee once again stops to look out to the crowd, using his newly-freed hand to clutch onto the ropes while keeping a firm grip on the WUF TV Title with the other, before then perking up to his feet. Finding his footing, Lee would point two fingers up to the sky, his eyes closed and a beaming smirk on his face, as he calls out how he's bringing both his in-ring and political game "TO THE MOON!"
With Trevor FINALLY in the ring, "The Butcher" Andy Williams would roll in afterwards, going right into his goose stepping taunt as he circles around his mayor, before standing right to the side of his boss/employer/friend(?), letting Lee take center stage once more as the two now await whomever Lee is facing off against...’
Tony Chimel: And his opponent…..
"Homicide" by LL Cool J hits the PA System and out comes the "Notorious 187" Homicide!
Homicide comes out and the fans cheer. Homicide puts the gun signs up and than he fake shoots his pretend guns and makes his way down to the ring as the fans cheer him.
Tony Chimel: Introducing from Cocunut Creek, Florida by way of Brooklyn New York this is the Notorious 187 Homicide!!!
Homicide enters the ring and gets to the top turnbuckle removing his bandana and throwing it to the fans. He throws up a gang sign representing his LAX days. Homicide than jumps down from the turnbuckle and is ready for the fight at hand.
The bell rings and both men look across from the ring at each other. Homicide is staring down Trevor and Trevor has a big grin on his face. The TV champion is expecting an easy nights work tonight but if you know anything about Homicide, it’ll be far from easy. After a few seconds Trevor turns round to face the turnbuckle but then suddenly rushes out to go for a Lariat but Homicide pushes Lee into the corner and rushes in with an elbow to the back of Lee’s head, he then pulls Lee out the corner and hits a Lariat of his own but when he gets Lee up into a Suplex position to look for those rolling suplexes, Lee manages to slip off and hit a Roundhouse to the side of Homicides head, knocking the Notorious 187 to the ground, Lee would go for a pin.
Mauro Ranallo: Folks if you’re just joining us welcome to another edition of UWF Revolution and if you are just joining us you’ve missed the beginning of what i’m sure will be one hell of a match, what do you think Tom?
Tom Phillips: Well Mauro we’re looking at two men who over the past few months have begun to stake their claims as the next thing to watch in the UWF. Trevor Lee our current TV Champion and Homicide is soon to make a collision with Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen
Corey Graves: That’s right Phillips you have the veteran brawler in Homicide who, under the tutelage of Dan Lambert, has started to become more technical in his game and that Machiavellian mind of Trevor Lee. Theres a reason he has held onto the TV Championship this long and that’s because no one can figure this guy out.
1….Kick out
Lee gets Homicide into a seated position and starts raining down elbows onto the chest of the prime time medal holder, looking to obstruct his breathing ability. Homicide isn’t making it easy for Lee, managing to dodge a few of the elbows and when Lee takes a second too long he grabs the arm and throws Lee over with a Judo style throw, sending Lee to roll through and land on his feet, Lee goes for another Roundhouse Kick but Homicide has him scouted, rolling out the way and getting to his feet he hits a wild West Brooklyn Lariat, Lee spinning out with the force. Homicide looks to go for a cover but instead locks in a Boston Crab on Lee.
Mauro Ranallo: BANG, THAT LARIAT SENT LEE SPINNING LIKE A KENTUCKY CYCLONE, HE MUST HAVE WENT BACK AT LEAST TWO FEET.
Tom Phillips: Most people would have went for the cover there but Homicide going for a Boston Crab, potentially looking to weaken the back of Trevor Lee. A lot of Lee's offense requires the ability to be quick and deliver strikes, a sore back won’t help there.
Corey Graves: The Cave In does require a bit of height for a full effect but Lee’s been through worse and still managed to hit it, hell we all saw that cage match at Bad Blood. The people of Harlan, their spirits will carry Lee through.
Tom Phillips: Too my knowledge Graves the citizens of Harlan are still alive…
Corey Graves SHUT UP PHILLIPS, ITS A METAPHOR.
Homicide is really torquing on the back of Lee, who seems close to tapping out but he locks eyes with The Butcher who nods at the rope, Lee manages to press up and crawl over to the rope, Butcher makes sure the referee is looking at Homicide and pushes the rope towards Lee who grabs hold of it, Butcher then shouts at the referee to look and the referee tells Homicide to let go of the hold, Homicide lets go after three and notices Butcher on the outside. For a second he’s distracted, trash talking at Butcher and this allows Lee to get back to his feet, Homicide turns round into a Superkick from Lee, sending him to the outside. Lee distracts the referee from checking on Homicide, this allows Butcher to hit a Headbutt to Homicide. Lee then lets the referee look and tells him to start counting, the referee does so.
Mauro Ranallo: Trevor Lee with a devastating superkick to Homicide, escaping that Boston Crab with a little help from the Butcher.
Tom Phillips: We all knew this could happen with The Butcher out here and it seems Lee’s insurance policy is paying dividends. Butcher helps him with escaping the Boston Crab and then Lee distracts the referee long enough for Butcher to hit that Headbutt.
Corey Graves: This is that Machiavellian mind I was talking about guys, Lee is always going to have an ace up his sleeve and tonight he is playing that Ace well. Butcher is the insurance policy people can only wish to have.
1….2…..3……4…..5……
Homicide makes it into the ring again at the count of five but Lee doesn’t give him time to recover, immediately setting onto him with stomps to the chest and arm, trying to hinder his ability to set up the Gringo Killa. Lee gets Homicide to his feet and throws him into the ropes, looking to hit him with a Jumping High Knee but Homicide doesn’t come back as planned, holding onto the ring ropes. Lee charges him but Homicide hits a back elbow. This doesn’t deter Lee who goes for another knee but Homicide gets out the way, Lee’s leg hanging on the rope, Homicide hits a Gringo Cutta, the crowd goes wild as he hits it. Homicide goes for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo MAMA MIA, A GRINGO CUTTA TO LEE, HE MIGHT BE OUT OF IT.
Tom Phillips: Trevor Lee was not giving Homicide any space but the 187 didn’t let that phase him. That training with Lambert has left him with a lot of ring awareness skills and he used them to gain the advantage and it could have earned him the win here.
Corey Graves: Oh man, the people of Harlan, needing to watch their beloved mayor be beaten by a thug. I hope you’re happy Phillips.
1….2….ROPE BREAK
The referee notices Lee’s foot on the apron and calls off the count, what he didn’t notice however was Butcher sitting down at the apron, having snuck his way over and placing Lee’s foot there himself. Once again Homicide gets in the face of Butcher and this allows Lee to get to his feet. He goes for the Superkick but Homicide has it scouted this time, lifting Lee onto the apron but what Homicide doesn’t have scouted is Lee hitting a Soccer Kick from the Apron. This knocks Homicide back and Lee doesn’t waste time, running in he grabs Homicide and hits a Harlan Curse onto him and then while Homicide is down, Lee deadlifts him up into a Powerbomb position and drops Homicide with a Sitout Powerbomb. Lee rolls Homicide up for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: POWERBOMB, POWERBOMB. WITH THAT BACKBREAKER LEE MIGHT HAVE THIS.
Tom Phillips: Once again Lee makes it back onto his feet with help from the Butcher, I can’t believe the referee is allowing this clear cheating to happen.
Corey Graves: Its only cheating if you’re caught by the referee, Phillips, before that it is called strategic planning, something you and Homicide will know nothing about but Lee knows in spades.
1…2….2.5….Kick out.
Lee looks up at the referee in disbelief, shouting that it was three but the referee keeps the two fingers up. Lee slaps the mat in frustration. Turning round he notices Homicide getting to his feet. A look of rage crosses the Harlan mayors face. He stalks the 187 and as he gets to his feet he goes for the Political Aspirations but Homicide drops down before he can, Lee goes to inspect his opponent but this was a fake out, Homicide pops up and hits another West Brooklyn Lariat. This doesn’t knock Lee down this time but Homicide picks him up and runs into the corner, hitting an F-Bomb. Lee comes rebounding out the corner right into the ATT Running Flying Knee, Lee falls like a sack of potatoes and Homicide goes for a cover, making sure Butcher can’t interfere this time.
1…2….3…..
Tony Chimel: YOUR WINNER OF THIS BOUT…. “THE NOTORIOUS 187”, HOMICIDE
Homicide gets his arm lifted by the referee but he pulls it away, preferring to get up onto a middle turnbuckle and flash off his signature gun salute.
Mauro Ranallo: Wow, well all I can say gentlemen is what a bout. Start to finish it was non stop but only one man can win and tonight it was Homicide.
Tom Phillips: I’ll give it to Lee, he used that mind of his to form a plan and while Butcher was involved in a lot of it, Lee brought it to Homicide tonight, it just wasn’t enough.
Corey Graves: Both men came for a fight and it was a fight they gave out here. I’ll hand it to Homicide, he has stepped his game up and it seems to be paying him dividends but Lee won’t forget about this.
As Homicide is still celebrating, Lee is helped out of the ring by Butcher, he turns round and a look of pure rage is on his face, the pair walk back up the ramp as we cut to Homicide and then fade.
Coming up next, it’s the debut of a brand new UWF talk show!...
The camera opens in what appears to be a cheaply put together set, presumably made to resemble a late night talk show. A small round of applause can be heard as a generic intro plays and the camera pans to show the Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen sat at a desk, ready to welcome viewers to his new talk show, Goodnighthausen with Danhausen.
Danhausen
Hello, yes! Welcome one and all to the debut of Goodnighthausen with Danhausen! We must first start by issuing a notice of apology to the fanhausens for the lack of advertisement for the new show. It’s fair to say that budgeting has not quite been the strongest point of the venture so far. That and also perhaps set management and guest booking confirmation... Nevertheless, Danhausen is here to put on an entertainment spectacle for you all, so without further ado, please welcome Danhausen’s very first guest to the show. He was once presented with an award that originally belonged to a man named Tony, and he is soon to be appearing in a moviehausen about the great big ball of fire that we often inhabits the sky. Please welcome, screen star and supposed wrestling enthusiast, Hugh Jass!
Stepping out from behind a red curtain at the side set is none other than Hugh Jackman himself. The Aussie actor is welcomed with applause and cheers from those in attendance, but after taking a proper look at what is surrounding him, he appears to be having second thoughts about proceeding with the arranged interview. Before he can make a run for however, Danhausen hastily gets on at him to come over and take a seat next to the desk. Despite the uncertainty, Hugh does indeed proceed forward and sits down in order to begin the interview with Danhausen.
Danhausen
So Hugh, welcome to Goodnighthausen with Danhausen. You should feel honored at being the very nice, very first guest on the show.
Hugh Jackman
Thank you for having me… is the answer I think I’m supposed to give?
Danhausen
You are most welcome, but upon seeing you for the first time in the fleshhausen, Danhausen is struggling to see the resemblance from the time he saw you appear on that episode of The Simpsons where you were in Moe’s Tavern. You’ve presumably had some facial reconstruction work of some sort since then?
Hugh Jackman
Erm… Well I’ve actually done some voice work on The Simpsons, but I don’t think they’ve ever tried to make a cartoon version of me before. You do realize it’s a cartoon show and not an actual real life show, yes?
Danhausen
Of course, it’s The Simpsons cartoon show, everybody knows that. But the design team usually do a wonderful job of making animated versions of real people. Seems like they dropped the ballhausen with your appearance though…
A moment of awkward silence follows as Hugh does not appear impressed by Danhausen’s opening, but the IC champ is ready to move on.
Danhausen
Anyhoo, Danhausen also had a look through some of the other work you’ve done in anticipation of your appearance tonight, and he noticed that for a period of time you were referring to yourself as The Greatest Showman. Now, are you still using this name? Because if you’re not then Danhausen thinks he should take it instead, because that is probably what best describes Danhausen when he’s performing in the wrestling ring.
Hugh Jackman
It wasn’t my name, it was the name of the movie that I was in. The name of the character I played was P.T. Barnum, an enthusiastic and ambitious entrepreneur.
Danhausen
That still doesn’t answer the question… Can Danhausen take this name if you’re no longer using it?
Hugh bites his lower lip in frustration…
Hugh Jackman
Sure… why not…
Danhausen
Excellent! What a productive interview this is turning out to be. Now as Danhausen alluded to in his introduction, you have an interest of some sort in the world of professional wrestling. Is this true?
Hugh Jackman
It is indeed. It’s been one of these things that ever since I was a kid I was always blown away by the spectacle of it all. And that’s something that has stuck with me even in adult life, albeit I don’t have as much time to watch the shows now as I did before my career started, which means it’s harder to keep track of who’s doing what. Like for example, I couldn’t tell you who the current champion is…
Danhausen
Well it’s Danhausen! Danhausen is the current champion, feast your eyes on the prize!
Danhausen reaches underneath his desk and pulls out the UWF Intercontinental Title in order to show it off. Hugh actually seems quite impressed by the belt, which appears to put him a bit more at ease on the show.
Hugh Jackman
That is quite something. Very well done sir.
Danhausen
You’re too kind. But now that we’ve established your enjoyment of it all, that begs the very important question of… who is your favorite wrestler?
Hugh Jackman
You know, I don’t think he’s around anymore, but for a while I was really feeling that Zack Ryder guy...
Danhausen goes to take a drink of water, but immediately spits it out upon hearing Hugh’s choice for his favorite wrestler.
Hugh Jackman
Yeah he had quite an aura about him I felt. He was a champion at one point like you are, had the spiked up hair which was cool. He also tried to do some sort of weird Australia tribute act which admittedly wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I got a kick out of it. After all, it’s all entertainment at the end of the day…
Danhausen
Of all the people you could have picked, why did you choose that despicable heathen who robbed Danhausen of valuable toys a few weeks back!? He was that deceiving he went by a completely different alias, Danhausen had no idea who he truly was until after the damage was done! No, Danhausen cannot allow this to stand, he is therefore requesting that you change your stance and become a fanhausen instead!
Hugh Jackman
Erm… what’s a fanhausen exactly?
Danhausen
A fanhausen! It’s the most loyal of loyal Danhausen supporters, the ones who cheer for him every week and regularly contribute to his sack of human monies. You know, a man of your standing might actually be able to make a real difference on that last part…
Seeing at what Danhausen appears to be getting at, Hugh realizes that it might be time to get stepping.
Hugh Jackman
You know, that’s something that I should probably give a bit of formal consideration to before I were to commit fully. Would you mind if I took a moment to step aside and have a think before deciding?
Danhausen
Sure, feel free. There are of course many other perks to being a fanhausen, but there are certain things which Danhausen expects from those who choose to follow the path. Anyways, see you shortly.
Hugh gets up and quickly heads back towards the red curtain, knocking it off its hook in the process. Danhausen appears to be oblivious to this though as he starts to play around on his phone as a commercial break begins...
Following the break which lasts several minutes, the cameras return to Goodnighthausen with Danhausen, where the host has ceased playing around with his phone and is waiting for Hugh Jackman to return. After tapping the desk with his fingers a few times, the newly named “Greatest Showman” concedes that his first guest likely isn’t returning.
Danhausen
Well, considering it doesn’t usually take that long to opt in to the Danhausen scheme, one can only assume Hugh Jass had a more pressing engagement to attend to. What a pity.
After literally two seconds of disappointed reflection, Danhausen bursts back into life again in order to close out his show.
Danhausen
Well, that’s all the time we have for the show tonight. Thank you to all the fanhausens for watching. Apologies to our good friend, Egon, we ran out of time for him. But special thanks to our guest this evening, Hugh Jass! Hopefully we can get him back on a future show in order to discuss Wolverine, Wolverine related accessories, and his majestic singing voice. But until next time, Love that Danhausen, goodnighthausen!
As a random generic outro begins to play, Danhausen waves towards the camera as it slowly pans out and the set darkens. Once the music stops, the silhouette of Danhausen can be seen getting up as the camera feed transitions back into Revolution as normal.
We go backstage where Shark Boy is being tended to by a doctor who is shining a little torch in his eyes.
Shark Boy: What's the prognosis doc, am I good to go or what?
Doctor: Sorry Shark Boy, I just can't in good consience clear you to compete tonight.
Shark Boy: Cod damn doc, I ain't even hurt.
Doctor: I'm sorry Shark Boy but you've got all the signs of post-concussion syndrome, you may need to take it easy for a couple of weeks.
Shark Boy: A couple weeks?, I'm the UWF Champion doc, I got a company to carry here...
Suddenly from seemingly nowhere a hand lands on Shark Boy's shoulder from out of the shot. Shark Boy turns around and the camera pans out to show his long-term best bud Grado standing in full wrestling attire.
Grado: Sharky boy, my man - it's yerself, don't worry I have a plan
Shark Boy: Grado - what the shell are you even doing here?
Grado: Ken a few weeks ago where I asked you if you could get me booked if you became champ... well... here I am!.. and judging fae what I just heard, you need a replacement tonight against Danhausen.
Shark Boy: Grado... I... ya know what, yeah. The doctors always right yeah?... well I guess if I gotta rest up for a few weeks then there's nobody I'd rather have flying the flag than my favourite Scottish son of a fish.
Grado: Is it official?, am I back?
Shark Boy: Shell yeah you're back, now go whip some bass... I guess if I have to take it easy I'd best do it with a couple Sharkweisers. I'll be waiting back here for ya... just do me one favour... keep an eye out for that slimy bastard Edge, he could be around any corner.
Grado: Listen Sharky, I'm a big boy. I can handle myself. If Edge comes anywhere near that ring tonight he's going to get his arse skelpt and he's gonnae get the Wee Boot. Now if ye don't mind... I have a match tonight, brother.
Shark Boy and Grado fist bump as Grado heads down the hallway. Shark Boy looks at the doctor and just shakes his head.
Shark Boy: The least you can do is go get the champ a beer?...
The crowd laugh and cheer as we go elsewhere.
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
As “Sasquatch” by Ice Cube begins to play, the UWF fans immediately start booing as they know who’s coming out. They’re correct as out walks the, “Hollywood Animal” as the lights dim and a spotlight shines on him as he walks down the ramp with a cocky smile on his face.
Chimel: Introducing first, from Washington D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds, BATISTA!
Batista enters the ring and starts shaking the ropes before turning to the stage and awaiting his opponent.
The funky beat of Walk The Moon's "Headphones" plays and the crowd starts to boo as it means the arrival of the current? World Tag Team Champion Sami Zayn. He has the title in his hands and dances with it on the stage. He ends up calming down a bit but still walks with some swagger down the ramp, swinging his belt around like he's got a big one.
Chimel: And his opponent, from Montreal Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 212 pounds, The Dynamic Sami Zayn!!
Sami slides into the ring and continues to dance around with his belt much to the chagrin of the paying audience. Sami walks over and makes sure to show it off to all the fans before preparing for the match.
Tony steps out of the ring and after ensuring both competitors are ready to go, the Referee calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING
The Hollywood Animal is looking at Zayn like he ain't nothing special. He's got a serious size advantage on the Canuck and is content to let Sami come to him as he postures up on his side of the squared circle. Zayn stalls a bit, grabbing the top rope and stretching back his arms a little to warm himself up. He circles the perimeter, but he's not even looking for an opening. Instead, he just goes to ropes on the other side and uses them for balance while he stretches out his calves. Batista look on, unamused.
Phillips: He couldn't have stretched out backstage?
Graves: Sami Zayn is a busy man, Phillips. He has more going on in his life in any given hour than you do in a week, you homebody loser.
Ranallo: It's vital that Sami stay limber and quick in this one. There's no way he can match the power game of Batista, who I'd say is the strongest man on the roster by a country mile. He'll need to rely on his agility and -
Phillips: - and his loose interpretation of the rules and regulations of the sport.
Sami goes back around to the corner he started in. The Miz and Goldust have been standing by the apron in Batista's corner - the former circles around the ring to give Zayn something to think about. Noticing the A-Lister out of the corner of his eye, Sami complains to the Referee about him, worried about some potential interference.
Phillips: Oh this is rich! Sami Zayn is worried about a third party getting involved in his match.
Graves: Hey, no disrespect to The Miz, but he has one job and that's to watch Batista's back. Sami's right to be concerned.
Ranallo: After the stunt he pulled against Jon Moxley at Bad Blood with his goons, Sami knows full well how much the numbers advantage can play into the result.
Zayn backs away from that edge while the Referee comes over to give Miz a warning. Sami shouts at him to mind his own business while he's retreating, but as he comes towards the far ropes, Goldust takes a swipe at his feet. The Quebecer just gets out of the way in time, then whips around to chew out that shiny pervert. All the ruckus catches the Official's attention, and he hurries over to chastise Goludst.
Batista is still just standing on his side of the ring. He can't be bothered to go on the offensive. He mimes checking his watch then yawns, bored by the jumpy little man across the canvas.
Ranallo: Big Dave isn't in any rush to capitalize on The Guild's shenanigans. He's letting them cozy up in Zayn's head rent-free.
Graves: A lot of people might think that Batista is just an ignorant brute. I mean, how often do you come across a man of that size who's also a veritable wrestling genius? You'd be surprised how clever the Hollywood Animal can be. Remember that stunt double trick he pulled at Wrestlemania? Classic!
Sami scurries away from all attacking parties so that he's trapped in a sort of triangle between Batista and the Guild. His head darts from one to next to the other and then back again. Eventually, he gets so flustered that he throws up his hands to call for a time-out like some kinda basketball player.
Phillips: Seriously? A time-out?
Graves: Every other sport has them, why shouldn't we?
Phillips: You said that last time!
Graves: I as right then, I'm still right now.
The Referee just shakes his head at Zayn, reminding him that in the sport of pro wrasslin', there's no such thing. Sami can't believe what he's hearing. Rather than reaming out the third man, though, he looks past Big Dave and up the ramps. Hands cupped to his mouth, he calls out for back-up.
"GENERICO! LUCHADORA! GET OUT HERE!"
For a few seconds, nothing. Sami doubles down.
"I SAID GET OUT HERE NOW!"
A few more seconds. StIll nothing. Batista chuckles to himself. Miz points and laughs like that bully kid from the Simpsons. Goldust rubs his nipples or whatever. The crowd aren't very sympathetic, either, but their clowning on Sami doesn't last long.
Soon enough, Luchadora comes marching down the ramp, boots unlaced and get-up untidy as it appears it was just thrown on. Right behind her is El Generico, who's adjusting his mask as he goes.
Phillips: Here come the clowns...
Ranallo: What is the kids say? Looks like "bae caught them sleppin".
Graves: Mauro... for the love of God... stop...
Evidently, Sami's goons weren't expecting to get the call to arms. Obviously Sami was anticipating this tomfoolery from The Guild. Luchadora and Generico fork off to either side when they reach the ring. The Pale Luchador goes around to the Miz's side while The Latinx Lynx comes for Goldust.
Big Dave's cronies put up their dukes, ready for a scrap with Sami's squad. The Referee is bouncing from side to side like a gosh dang pinball, yelling at everyone to keep their cool or he'll kick them out.
Phillips: Why doesn't the Referee just send everyone to the back so we can get this match going already?
Phillips: I don't know if you're aware of this, Phillips, but every time the Official makes a big call like that, they have to fill out a mountain of paperwork. Then they have to get statements from all the crew around ringside which means going through the Unions. Honestly, it's a red tape nightmare.
Ranallo: It's true.
With all the commotion going on, Batista finally decides he's had enough and starts on his way over towards Sami. He lurches forward with the slow jolt of a tractor trailer pulling out of a parking lot, gathering speed and unstoppable momentum en route to his destination of smackdown town.
Sami's all caught up with the fuss on the outside and only just has enough time to see Big Dave coming his way to make an escape. He hurls himself through the ropes to get out of harm's way, scrambling to the floor as the Hollywood Animal lunges at him.
It isn't a graceful landing, but he's quick to get back to his feet. El Generico and La Luchadora blow past their corresponding thugs to join him on the commentary table side of the squared circle, offering emotional and physical support in this trying time. Miz and Goldust start to surround like hyenas going after child lions in an Elephant Graveyard, but Batista tells them to hold back.
The Referee barks at Sami to get back in the ring but Zayn holds up an index finger, asking for a moment to collect himself. He huddles up with the gang to confer on a new game plan.
Graves: See, this is why Sami Zayn is so great. He isn't just another meathead who knows a couple of holds - he's a master of strategizing.
Phillips: You can talk about how big his brain is but its hard to see it past that yellow belly.
Graves: How unpoetic, you tired hack.
Ranallo: And here comes the ten count!
The Referee starts off the timer, giving Sami a limited window to get back in the ring.
1...
2...
Sami hold up a finger again, demanding the Official leave him alone or at least quiet down while he speaks with his team.
3...
4...
Miz and Goldust look to Big Dave for direction. He tells them to stay put then comes to the edge of the ring, sits down on the middle rope and holds the top up to welcome Sami back in condescendingly.
5...
6...
The crowd boo as Sami continues to stall.
7...
Zayn looks up and sees Batista beckoning him in. He breaks free of the huddle and screams at the Referee to get Batista to back up so he can safely re-enter.
The Referee holds up the count and politely asks the Hollywood Animal to back up to the other side of the ring. Batista shoots him an annoyed scowl then puts his hands up innocently. He walks straight back across to the far side of the ring and lounges against the corner, telling the Official that he's free to resume the count now.
Before he can pop off with the eighth, though, Zayn gingerly approaches the apron and crawls under the bottom rope. As he's doing so, Luchadora and Generico rush over to the time keeper's area and grab themselves some steal chairs. They come back towards the ring with bad intentions.
Phillips: This whole thing is about to fall apart, I can feel it.
Graves: Maybe they just want chairs so they can sit back and watch the match. You ever think about that, Phillips?
The threat of a metal pulverizing has The Guild members retreating back around to the ramp end of the ring while Luchadora and Generico go around either side, foreign objects brandished threateningly. Batista's calm, collected and cocksure demeanor finally cracks. He's looking angry as all heck now as yells at the Referee to get things under control. The Official tries to calm him down, turning his back to Zayn in doing so.
The moment he does, Generico slides his chair under the ropes. Sami bends down to grab it. On the other side, Luchadora hops up on to the apron, still holding her weapon. Obviously, the Ref has to run over and check her, leaving his back turned on all the in ring action.
Just as Sami is picking up the chair, though, Batista stomps down on it! He's all like, no way jose. Sami stumbles back, scuttling away like a crab as Batista takes the foreign object for himself. He holds it up like a two-handled baseball bat, all kinds of bad intentions crossing his mind.
Seeing this, Luchadora drops her chair to the floor and goes down with it, freeing up the Referee to turn back around to see Batista coming after Sami with a chair. He hustles over to shut that nonsense down, wrestling the weapon away from Big Dave while threatening him with a DQ.
Ranallo: My goodness, the sinister machinations of Sami Zayn truly know no bounds.
Graves: I can't tell if Batista played into his hand or he's just calling it on the fly, either way, Sami's one step ahead at all times!
Zayn reaches the far ropes. He turns around to use them to haul himself back up. Except oh snap! Tommaso Ciampa runs in outta nowhere! The Sicilian Psycho vaults the guard rail, snags the Forever Title off of the desk and drive-by's Sami across the face with that thing, getting himself a big pop from the capacity crowd along the way.
Graves: What the hell?!?! What's Ciama doing?
Ranallo: Getting a little payback for all the grief Sami Zayn has been causing him, I should think.
Ciampa ditches the belt and hides under the ring. Nobody - not Generico or Luchadora or the Guild or Batista or the Referee saw what happened. All Batista knows is that's he had enough of the nonsense. So Big Dave lets the Ref have that chair. He storms on by and collects the now KO'd Zayn from where he's hanging on the ropes. Not stopping to wonder why the guy has the constituion of a wet noodle, Batista hoists him up on to his shoulders, only to plant him dang near through the mat with an outrageous Batista Bomb.
He stays seated and hooks the legs for the cover...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
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YOUR WINNER...
BATISTA!
The Hollywood Animal stands to have his arm raised in victory. El Generico and La Luchadora can only look on in horror while The Guild climb into to celebrate with their boss.
Ranallo: The so-called Hollywood Champion has defeated the self-proclaimed Forever Champion in this tilt between tenuous title-holders.
Graves: That match was en route to becoming an instant classic until Tommaso Ciampa got involved!
Phillips: They hadn't even locked up yet!
Sami's goons collect him from the ring while Batista leads his up the ramp. Ciampa finally emerges from under the apron, takes a look back over his shoulder at his handiwork, then hops the apron to leave through an adoring crowd. Revolution continues elsewhere.
The scene opens with Cody Rhodes walking in the hallway and he sees Leyton Buzzard's locker room as he opens the door. He enters and he walks over to him as he stares at him in the eyes.
Cody Rhodes: Hey Leyton, I want to ask you something. We had a awesome match last week and I got one question to ask you. Why did you refuse to shake my hand after our match?
Leyton's eyes look up to see into the Nightmares eyes, His eyes full of sorrow and doubt, Buzzard looks down at his feet as he begins to explain.
Leyton Buzzard: "Cody you beat me when I gave everything I had, I mean you and Lee both beat me at one hundred percent, So if you will look at it from my point of view, I failed not just myself but these people, The people who had my back I let them down yet again. So I didn't deserve to have you acknowledge meI SHOULD OF WON, I should have beat you but I couldn't even do that. So sorry I didn't take your pity handshake, I am sorry I didn't beat you but this here won't happen again because I refuse to have another match with you because I refuse to let down all these people."
Leyton goes to speak but Cody cuts him off.
Cody: I completely understand why you are doing this. But don't let your loss to me get to your head. I am offering you another chance to redeem that loss by having another match with me. I am willing to help push you over the limits and show your whole potential. Layton, you may not be one hundred percent in our last match. But you were this close to beat me. So I am giving you another chance to help you out. I want you to do to keep your promise that you have made to the people who were there for you. So here's a huge opportunity for you to fulfilled your promiae. So what do you say?
Leyton shakes his head in disagreement...
“My response is no. This match will never happen EVER,I swore to these people that I would fulfill my destiny but like sand in an hourglass its slipped by and I am never going to regain what I lost. You find someone else to fight and I will sit here and wait until I am released by this company for letting down everyone once again. So if you will please let me be.!”
Cody: But Leyton……
Cody goes to speak but his face is nearly met with wood as the door slams shut as it shakes the door frame around it. The scene fades and ends with a upset Cody Rhodes shaking his head.
Suddenly the lights start to darken and flicker...
Cheers begin to ring all around the arena as the music plays and Danhausen takes to the stage. After a couple of slow spins around the stage area, Danhausen then raises his arms and gives out a determined yell as the crowd pops in appreciation.
Tony Chimel
Making his way to the ring, from Someplace Far Away, weighing at least 300lbs, Danhausen!!
Danhausen heads down the ramp, waving politely at some of the fanhausens in attendance before he hops up onto the apron and signals the nearby cameraman to get a close up shot of him. Danhausen then points directly into the camera lens and yells “Love That Danhausen!” before climbing through the middle rope and posing in the center of the ring with his arms held high once again. Danhausen is waiting in the middle of the ring for Shark Boy but suddenly, something else hits the tron.
Corey Graves: Oh no!
Tom Phillips: It's Grado! What's he doing here!?
Mauro Ranallo: We heard that it was touch and go if Shark Boy would be medically cleared to compete after the attack by Edge last week but it looks like he found himself a replacement!
Grado comes out dancing on stage and continues getting his groove on as he walks down the ramp and slaps hands with some fans. He slides into the ring and tells the ref to go ahead and ring the bell. The ref just shrugs and does what he's told.
VS 
DING DING DING
Grado struts up to the middle of the ring and extends his hand. Danhausen slowly comes up and goes to shake it but then stops and warns Grado that if there's any funny business, he WILL curse him. Grado puts his hand over his heart and fookin' swears it. Danhausen points at him and tells him no swearing! Grado takes a back bump to avoid the point and looks up at the Intercontinental Champion. Danhausen looks at his finger and apologizes and offers a hand to help him up. Grado cautiously takes and it helped up and the two shakes hands, the crowd cheering them on.
Corey Graves: What the hell is this.
Mauro Ranallo: It's sportsmanship Corey, at the highest degree.
Corey Graves: Somebody punch someone!
Grado hears Corey and takes a big swing at Danhausen. The evil bastard from hell ducks it and takes Grado's back. Grado puts his hands on Danhausen's and starts gyrating his hips, boogieing down which in turn makes Danhausen start feeling a little funky. The Intercontinental Champion lets go and starts awkwardly moving his hips like an 80 year old hearing a disco oldie. Grado is dancing around him in a circle clapping his hands with the crowd. He then grabs the champ's arm and does the wave with him. Danhausen brings it on back but when it reaches the back to the original hand, Grado brings in Danhausen for a Short Arm Clothesline! The crowd boos but he just shrugs and makes the pin!
1 . . .
But Danhausen kicks out right away! He rushes back up and looks to curse Grado but the dancin' man drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness. Danhausen contemplates it but starts to slowly lift the fingers again. Grado rushes over to the corner and grabs Danhausen's jar of teeth. He promises to give him a free hit and takes the teeth and pours it into his own mouth. He tells Danhausen to go ahead and kick him. This demon spawn from hell looks around at the crowd confused but they chant Yes at him. Danhausen shrugs and deliver a Big Boot spilling all the teeth out all over the ring! He goes for the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Grado kicks out!
Corey Graves: Will somebody please end this match before I get an aneurysm.
Tom Phillips: C'mon Corey, have some Funhausen!
Danhausen brings Grado back up and lifts him onto his shoulders. Grado starts kicking his feet and manages to slip behind him. Danhausen turns around but eats a couple of jabs to the face followed by a Bionic Elbow! Danhausen ends up stmbling backwards and falls into the corner. Grado runs over and goes for a Cannonball in the corner but Danhausen moves out of the way just in time! Grado is stunned but gets up to his feet anyway. Bad choice as Danhausen kicks him in the gut the levels him with the Goodnighthausen! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, The Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen!
Danhausen is handed his Intercontinental Championship and he holds it up high. Grado comes to and Danhausen helps him to his feet and holds his hand up as well, the crowd cheering for the sportsmanship. Grado applauds the champ and exits the ring leaving Danhausen to celebrate as the show moves on.
Kaiju Troll let's go!
A lone synthethetic violion whispers through the air like a pretodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entrance way. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out on to the ramp, fists and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day. He does some shadow boxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Chimel: Making his way to the ring from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's pace is in lock-step with the propulsive groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred some air guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight.
As Wherever I May Roam blasts over the speakers Ciampa walks out onto stage, flanked by Wardlow. The crowd boos the pair loudly.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring and being accompanied by Wardlow from Boston, Massachusetts weighing in tonight at 201lbs, The "Psycho Killer" Tommaso Ciampa.
VS 
DING DING DING
As soon as the bell ring, both men run up to the middle of the ring and starts brawling it out. Ciampa throws some big swings but Kyle bobs and weaves them, throwing counter palm strikes like a Hong Kong legend would. Or at least that's the way it looks like to the untrained eye. Realistically, they're not that effective as evidence by Ciampa just eating them and continuing to strike away. Kyle grabs Tommaso's (two M's one S!) head and leaps up with a Jumping Knee Strike to the face. Ciampa staggers backwards into the ropes and Kyle comes running right back at him with another Jumping Knee Strike, this time hitting him right on the chin and both go tumbling down to the floor below!
Mauro Ranallo: Kyle O'Reilly never has any caution when it comes to putting his body on the line.
Corey Graves: He's a stupid idiot if you ask me.
Tom Phillips: Well then he's a stupid idiot who's highly effective.
Kyle pumps himself up on the outside. He picks up Ciampa and gives him a Back Suplex onto the apron! He rolls the former Intercontinental Champion back into the ring and hops on the apron. He goes over to the corner and climbs to the top rope. Ciampa recovers back to his feet and Kyle comes off the top rope with the Flying Nothing! It's an easy counter as Ciampa gives him a European Uppercut! O'Reilly folds back over his legs and looks completely knocked out. That ain't enough for the Sicilian Psychopath though. He picks up Kyle and places him onto his shoulders like a torture rack. He then flips him over into an Argentine Facebuster! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
O'Reilly kicks out! Ciampa pulls him right back up and goes to hook both arms and signal for the Fairy Tale Ending but Kyle rushes forward and rams him back first into the corner. Kyle backs away to the opposite side of the ring. He runs back at Ciampa but he gets the boot up. Kyle ends up catching it and shakes his head. He kicks his abductors and then twists around for a Dragon Screw! Ciampa grabs at his leg, pulling it in close as he rocks from side to side. Kyle grabs the leg and goes to turn him over for an Ankle Lock but Ciampa ends up kicking him in the face a few times to shove him off. He tries his best to get to his feet but he crumbles back down to all fours. Kyle comes over with a Sliding Knee to the ribs before he mounts him and starts throwing palm strikes to the face.
Tom Phillips: Ciampa looks to be in trouble here.
Corey Graves: After all that talk about how he should have been next in line for the UWF Championship, a loss to Kyle will shut him up if Zayn didn't do that already.
Ciampa covers up as best he cant but ends up catching one of Kyle's strikes. Ciampa grabs his finger and starts pulling on them like he's trying to rip his hand in half! O'Reilly yells out in pain and pulls away, freeing Ciampa. Tommaso gets to his feet and Kyle runs back at him but Ciampa levels him with a Lariat! Kyle backs up a few paces and looks dazed but comes back with a Forearm Strike to the face. Both men are striking back and forth, Kyle hitting Ciampa with a Forearm Strikes and Tommaso coming back with European Uppercuts. They go back and forth for a few hits but Kyle gets the better of him with one oh his hits. Ciampa looks dazed but he swings out anyway. Kyle ducks it and comes back with a huge Mortal Kombat-esque Uppercut! Ciampa is hit so hard he pops up into the air and lands hard on his back. Kyle poses and says "Fatality!".
Corey Graves: Look at this dork. Go for the win you idiot!
Mauro Ranallo: I hate to agree with Corey but this isn't Devil May Cry, no style points awarded for that.
Ciampa crawls over to the ropes and uses them to help him get up. Kyle walks over to him but eats a stiff punch to the gut that sends him reeling. Ciampa walks over to him but eats a Knee Lift from Kyle. Ciampa is bent over and so Kyle gives him an Ax Kick to the back of the head followed by the Rolling Elbow for the Ax and Smash Combo! Ciampa is laid out and Kyle makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Ciampa kicks out! Kyle brings Ciampa back up from behind and hooks both arms in a full nelson. Before he can lock his fingers, Ciampa comes to life and starts to fight back. He's got the strength advantage and manages to bring his arms down enough to deliver a Back Elbow to Kyle's face. The Diabetic Dragon is stunned and so Ciampa lifts him onto his back. Kyle starts kicking his feet and flips over his back, going for a Sunset Flip! Ciampa stays up and instead drops a knee onto his face! Kyle's shit just got wrecked as he rolls out to the apron. Tommaso comes over and grabs him from between the ropes and pulls him in. It's time for Willow's Bell but Kyle just straight up bits Ciampa on his side! Tommaso instinctively drops him and walks to the other side of the ring. H checks the bite to make sure he didn't just lose a chunk. The ref gets on Kyle but he waves him off. Both men look at each other and run towards one another. Kyle throws a Spinning Back Elbow but Ciampa ducks it. Kyle turns around and gets hit with a Hadouken that sends him flying out of the ring!
Mauro Ranallo: Tommaso Ciampa just counter attacked O'Reilly like only the best Street Fighters know how!
Tom Phillips: I appreciate the predecessors but I really want to see someone hit a Smash Ultimate!
Corey Graves: I work with fucking children.
The Sicilian Psychopath has rolls out on the ring to grab Kyle. He's got some evil intentions on his mind as you can't quite be fully good with a the word Psychopath in your nickname. He lifts Kyle up over his his back and has him in position for the over the shoulder belly to back piledriver. He walks up to the steel steps with Kyle who looks knocked out. It certainly won't help as Ciampa walks onto the apron and gives him the Air Raid Crash on it! He pushes Kyle back into the ring and makes the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Kyle kicks out at 2.5! Ciampa brings Kyle back up to his feet and grabs his head, slowly turning him around for the Psycho Cutter but Kyle ends up elbowing him in the side of the head! Ciampa is dazed but turns back to face O'Reilly. but Kyle kicks him in the gut and delivers a Butterfly Suplex! He keeps his hands locked together and rolls back to his feet, hitting Ciampa with another one! It's the Stampede of Butterflies as Kyle hits a third one. He rolls over for a fourth consecutive Suplex but Ciampa is able to get under him and lift him over his back for another Air Raid Crash! Both men are down but they begin to stir to the ropes. They manage to get to their feet and shoot looks at one another. Kyle rushes Ciampa and Tommaso ducks down and lifts Kyle up and over the top rope. O'Reilly lands on the apron and gives the former Intercontinental Champion and Forearm shot to the back of the head! Ciampa walks to the corner but Kyle comes back in and runs up on him, taking his head and kicking off the corner for a Tornado DDT! He keeps a hold of the head as he pops back up and lifts him up to finish off the Halo 2! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Ciampa kicks out! Kyle rises up and runs his thumb across his throat, signaling for the end. He picks up Ciampa and once again gets him in the Full Nelson. He goes for the Blue Eyes Diabetic Dragon but Ciampa actually flips over and lands on his feet! Well sort of. He lands on his feet but stumbles back into the ropes, unable to keep his footing. Kyle turns around and eats a Discus Lariat! O'Really does a full flip from the impact and bounces off the mat but he somehow pops back up to his feet. Ciampa looks surprised and finds himself on the wrong end of a Roundhouse Kick! Ciampa gets knocked out and lands flat on his face. Kyle yells out and powers up like it's DBZ but soon just loses consciousness and falls to the mat.
Tom Phillips: Looks like Kyle's blood sugar might have gotten too low there.
Corey Graves: Don't blame it on his medical condition. He's an idiot who strained himself too much and made himself pass out. He could have won this match right there.
Mauro Ranallo: It's been a hard hitting affair so far. Both these men are trying to prove themselves here tonight but only one can win.
The crowd is cheering loudly for both men as they begin to stir. Dueling "Let's Go Ciampa" "O-Rei-lly" chants break out and it seems to fire up both men. They crawl onto each other and are using one another to get up and stay up and they exchange strikes once more. Ciampa's has got a bit more power in his and ends up taking advantage, knocking Kyle down to his knees! Ciampa smiles as he stands over him until Kyle grabs his beard and pulls him down into a nasty Headbutt! The only problem is, it knocks both men out and with Kyle being lower, Ciampa falls on top of him pinning his shoulders to the mat!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Tommaso Ciampa!
A doctor comes into the ring and checks on both men. The ref tries to help Ciampa and raise his hand but no one's home. Tommaso may have proved himself further but at what cost? Things however are about to get worse as Sami Zayn ends up coming out from the audience along with La Luchadora and El Generico! Sami runs in and starts beating on the defenseless Ciampa while the other two keeps the doctors at bay. Sami then instruct the two to lift him up and place him in the corner. Zayn hands them the Forever Championship and they hold it gold side over Ciampa's face. Zayn goes to the opposite corner, ready to lay him out with a Helluva Kick belt shot to the face but Eddie Kingston ends up coming down the ramp with a steel pipe in hand! Zayn sees this and warns the other two. They drop Ciampa and Luchadora takes the belt but Generico jumps down to the outside and runs at Eddie only to eat a pipe to the ribs! Eddie slides into the ring and Zayn and Luchadora bail. Despite how they started off the night, Eddie is now watching over Ciampa as Zayn and Luchadora grab Genercio and drag him off. Eddie is yelling out all kinds of obscenities at the trio as he stands in the ring with the steel pipe as the show comes to an end.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Stone Cold vs Edge - Evolution J
Homicide vs Trevor Lee - Gunn
Zayn vs Batista - Fauche
Grado vs Danhausen, O'Reilly vs Ciampa - Danny
