Post by Danny on Dec 29, 2022 16:02:55 GMT -6
We head to the arena where the pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Tom Phillips: We've got another set of big matches this week highlighted by Eddie Kingston taking on Kyle O'Reilly.
Corey Graves: Whoever wins, we lose! Luckily we got some new fresh blood on the scene and we'll see the young upstart MJF in action against Hulk Hogan and let me tell you something brothers, I think that kid is going places
Mauro Ranallo: Hogan is no slouch though, there's a reason why he's a legend.
Tom Phillips: Well speaking of legends, UWF legend Cody Rhodes is in action against the Television Champion Trevor Lee who is looking to get back on track after last week's loss.
Corey Graves: That was just a fluke and we all know it.
Tom Phillips: Plus Danhausen goes one on one with another potential challenger to his crown, Eddie Guerrero who scored a big victory over Homicide last week.
Corey Graves: Yeah but anyone can beat Homicide. What I'm looking forward to is seeing Batista put Ciampa in his place.
Mauro Ranallo: Weren't you cheering for Tommaso Ciampa just a few short months ago.
Corey Graves: That was before that scam artists DDP got involved and brainwashed him into his Yoga cult.
Mauro Ranallo: Well we got all that and more on tonight's Revolution!
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
Hulk Hogan's theme hits and he makes his way out to the ring with Jimmy Hart wearing his Hulkamania Rules t-shirt, yellow trunks, yellow boots, bandana on his head.
Chimel: Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California weighing 303 pounds accompanied by Jimmy Hart. He is The Real American Hulk Hogan.
"Better Than You" begins to play and there is a tidal wave of boos from the fans. After a few moments MJF begins to swagger out of the entrance way. Following behind him is Sir William Regal. MJF laughs at the fans who are trying to get under his skin as he walks towards the ring.
Chimel: And his opponent, accompanied by Sir William Regal. Weighing in at 216 pounds from Plainview New York. He says he is better than you and you know it Maxwell Jacob Friedman, M...J...F!!!!
The fans erupt even louder and MJF doesn't pay them any mind. He walks into the ring and Regal opens the ropes for him. He stands in the middle of the ring flexing a bit and smirking as his music fades.
Tony exits the ring and after ensuring both men are good to go, the Referee calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING
Though it's been a minute since the UWF Universe has seen Hulkster in action, this crowd clearly hasn't forgotton to say their vitamins or take their prayers in the meantime. The sold-out arena swells with a "HOGAN" chant from the onset, spurred on by the frenetic Jimmy Hart at ringside.
MJF doesn't look the least bit impressed by any of it. The New Yorker doesn't count himself among the Hulkamaniacs. Hogan cups a hand to his ear to draw an even bigger pop from the fans, but all he gets from Max is a middle finger.
Ranallo: It looks like everyone in the building tonight is more than happy to bask in the nostalgia. Everyone in the UWF loves Hulk Hogan a lot, but like the Grinch who lived just north of Whoville, Maxwell Jacob Friedman does not.
Graves: Christmas was four days ago, Mauro. Give it a rest.
When Hogan does the hand-to-ear thing again (this time to the opposite side of the arena), Max tells him to cut out so they can get to work. Hulk isn't gonna keep him waiting. Like a lightswitch flicking, he snaps from pandering novelty act to fierce competitor, getting his hands up ahead of himself and approaching his opponent ready to grapple.
The Hulkster shoots in, assuming this is gonna kick off with a classic collar-and-elbow. MJF looks like he's game at first, but then breezes past his foe just as Hulk comes in, stepping around his and brushing the dust off his shoulder with some condescending peacocking. Big boos from the fans as Hogan stumbles by and catches himself against the ropes. Friedman struts to the center of the ring then offers up some more double birds for the fans in attendance, which, of course, they take some serious offense to.
Phillips: There are a lot of wrestlers on the roster that the fans aren't fond of, but I don't know if any superstar takes as much joy in irking the people as MJF. Its his first night on the job and he might already be the most hated man in the company.
Graves: His talent speaks for itself. There's a reason EC3 signed him to such a lucrative contract. Besides, anybody stepping into the ring against a returning Hulk Hogan is going to get booed. MJF is embracing that energy and making this his moment. How many other guys his age could upstage a legend like this?
Jimmy Hart talk some trash at Max while Regal watches on silently, reserving his advice for later on down the line, apparently. Hogan comes back around and dares MJF to lock-up with him. The younger man tries his best to evade the Hulkster as he closes the distance, but before long, Hulk has his opponent backed up against the corner.
Friedman leans into the ropes and calls the Referee over to make sure Hogan doesn't mess with him there. Before the third man can intervene, however, Hogan takes matters into his own hands. He grabs Maxwell by the wrist and effortlessly whips him across the ring.
MJF slams into the far corner chest-first. His sternum collides with the padding so hard it might as well has not even been there at all. All the colour drains from his face, leaving him pale as a ghost while his chest immediately shines bright red where the contact was made.
He stumbles back towards the middle of the ring, gasping for breath. In a daze, he turns around, unaware of his surroundings. Hogan charges at him and connects with a thunderous lariat that hits like a sledgehammer. MJF is battered down the the canvas and Hogan drops down to make the cover....
1...
2...
Max just barely kicks out at two!
The fans groan while the Ref shoots a weary eye towards Regal, who he noticed creeping up on to the apron as the three count approached. Jimmy clocked it to, and he circles the ring to chew the Gentleman Villain out.
Ranallo: MJF was quick to call out Hogan's advanced age in the lead-up to this match. Hogan's never been one to rely on speed or agility though, and even this far along, he's still got all the size and power he needs. In fact, I would say compared to the average build of today's superstars, the Hulkster is a veritable giant.
Graves: Clearly the guy's in great shape, but he isn't a hard nut to crack. MJF is as cerebral as wrestlers get, and with William Regal in his corner, you had better believe that they've got a gameplan to work around all the size Max is giving up here.
Hogan peels the dilapidated New Yorker off the canvas and yanks him to a vertical base. Once again, he sends him into the corner. Rather than a whip this time, though, it's more of a straight up toss. Max bounces off the corner padding with another big thud.
Hulk doesn't wait for him to bounce back. He rushes in, looking for another big lariat. Max sees the train coming down the tracks and has the wherewithal to get off in time. Stepping aside, he narrowly avoids getting pancaked by Hulk, who accidentally plasters himself against the turnbuckle with all that momentum instead.
The fans "OOOH" as Hogan gets winded. MJF takes a step back, lines up his shot, the clips the former Transatlantic Champ in the jaw with a Superkick! Hulk staggers away, but more or less stays on his feet as he catches himself on the top rope. He leans there, seeing stars, while Max comes in to follow up.
MJF punches him square in the jaw and tries to act like that didn't hurt his hand. The Official gives him a warning about the closed fist, but it falls on deaf ears as Max drags his opponent out towards the middle of the ring. Regal shouts up at him to slap on a hold, so Friedman endeavours to work Hulk over with an Octopus Hold.
Graves: See, this is where Max can shine - picking Hulk apart piece by piece. He let the lummox make a mistake and now he's capitalizing.
Phillips: Can he even get this submission started?
It turns out, applying an abdominal stretch to a guy that's like twice your size is a big ask. Max is having all kinds of trouble getting the hold on, especially when the Hulkster comes to and starts fighting back. At first, he's just wiggling free, but when Hogan begins to fire some elbows back, it all turns into a hopeless cause for the new kid on the block. Abandoning any hope of securing the hold, MJF decides to drop down instead and snag a quick roll-up!
The Referee comes in to count it as Max pulls Hulk down to the canvas by surprise...
1...
Hogan powers out at one! The crowd pops huge as the super heroic figure gets straight up to his feet like it ain't nothing but a thing.
MJF comes running at him to stay on the offensive but gets stopped dead in his tracks by a warning finger from the legendary big man. "YOU!" the fans call out in harmony with Hogan.
Phillips: HE'S HULKING UP, BROTHER!
Graves: As a diehard WARHOSE fan, I surprised you're so excited by this, Phillips. I would have thought -
Phillips: SHUT UP, COREY! HULKAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD!
Max stumbles back, pleading with Hulk to show some mercy. When it's clear he won't get any, he tries for a cheap shot. Hogan swats his arm away and lands a jab of his own, followed by another! He then grabs Max and whips him into the ropes, planning to catch him on the rebound with that Big Boot.
He never gets the chance, though, cause Max bails out to the floor for a timeout with his corner man. Regal pulls him aside to offer some advice and a brief reprieve. The fans boo and Hogan shakes hi head while The Mouth of the South circles around the ring to confront them. Jimmy actually shoves Regal away and tells him to mind his own business. William takes a swing at Jimmy, who backs up to avoid it. All this fuss brings the Ref over to tell them both to chill.
Meanwhile, MJF moves around to the side of the squared circle to sneak back in. This ain't Hulk's first rodeo, though. He knows all the sneaky heel tactics and meets Max there as he's coming through the ropes. Except the thing is, Regal must've slipped Max the Brass Knuckles during their little strategy sessions. Before Hogan knows what hit hit, Friedman blasts him in the chin with a loaded punch!
Ranallo: MJF just hit Hogan with the Brass Knuckles! That dirtbag!
Graves: What? I didn't see anything. Are you sure?
Max tosses the foreign object over his shoulder and out of the ring. Hogan's out on his feet, leaving him prone for a boot to the gut, which allows MJF to hook his head so he can connect with the Double Cross!
The Referee turns around when he feels Hogan's massive frame slam into the mat. As far as he can tell, Max hit his signature maneuver fair and square, so he slides in to make the count while the fans boo the roof off the place...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING!
YOUR WINNER...
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN!
The booing drowns out MJF's music. He lets the Referee raise his hand before he high-tails it out of the ring to celebrate with Regal on the ramp. Jimmy, meanwhile, climbs in to check on Hogan, who's coming to, still not sure what hit him.
Graves: What a statement by MJF! Is it too late to add him to the conversation for Wrestler of the Year on Revolution? He's undefeated and he just put down a legend!
Ranallo: Under highly dubious circumstances, Corey. I'll concede that this pairing of Friedman and Regal could spell trouble for the rest of the roster, but Hulk Hogan would have, in all likelihood, won that that match if it wasn't for those brass knuckles.
MJF talks some serious trash to the fans as he backs away up the ramp with Regal. Hogan sits up in the ring, looking disappointed by the turn of events. He shoots Max a heavy look that suggests he ain't about to forget how this just went down. Revolution continues elsewhere!
We open up on the Owner of UWF, EC3 tanding by with a quick message.
EC3: As you're all well aware, the next pay per view for the UWF is the Royal Rumble. It's the time where people can change their fortunes with just one match. It can set up the entire year for you or help bring about all of your upcoming failures. It's a place where grudges will be settled and others made. Wrestlers both new and old will make their appearances and fight for a shot at the UWF Championship in the main event of Wrestlemania. Winning the Royal Rumble doesn't guarantee a win a Wrestlemania either as history has proven. You still have to put in the work. I'll be watching you all very closely in the coming weeks. There is no room for hand holding. Starting next week, everything you do will account for standing here in the UWF. Good luck.
The camera fades out.
The cameras cut backstage as we find none other than the mad king. The success of last week. The victory that he had claimed, only proved him right about the things he had said and what he feels deep down inside of himself as well, that for two long years here, there has been something … lacking from him. That he was not complete yet, but that was going to change.
“Trevor, I offered you the chance. I offered you a way out, but like so many others, heh. You just thought, you knew better and there was your mistake. You thought you knew better, than someone who has out more time and energy into this, than all of you combined.”
He would shake his head side to side a little. Life was hard, he said it himself. It was not going to do you any favors, it was going to knock you down and take delight in your suffering and if you didn’t get up, you were a failure. Quitting, wasn’t a word he knew, but now things had changed. It was time to change things up, no more bullshit. No more holding back, no more of any of this fucking around he has been doing.
“It is nothing personal, for you and everyone else here, but the simple truth of it all is that I am done. I am sick and tired of just being here and nothing more, always getting close, but just that. Always close, but never going over that line that just keeps moving, so then! I have to change things up, I have to dig a little bit deeper into myself, I have to start becoming who I am on the inside. The things that everyone has said about me, I wear it like a badge of honor, I am proud. To be from the streets, to be poor, to be something that people cross the road to avoid making any contact with at all. Me. I don’t need friends, never have needed them. I don’t like anyone and no one likes me, because we are all in the same fucking mess. We are all in the same spot, we all want the same thing and the sad truth of it all is that we all cannot have what we want. Not everyone can make it to the top and I will not go down in the history books as just, someone who got close. I will not become a youtube fucking clipshow of missed chances and wasted opportunities. If my chances have ran up, fuck it. I will make more myself. If UWF is looking elsewhere, thinking the new people and old people here, holding the line, are better than me and deserve more chances than me, I will show them, how wrong they are.”
He moved his hand upwards to his face, rubbing his chin. He didn’t want to go, to the level he had to go, in order to win, but that was nature. When you had no other choices, you had to do what you had to do. Playing it safe, playing it by the rules, keeping his head down all this time has served him with nothing. He has yet to taste a single shred of real success here, but he was going to ensure that chances.
“This is the warning. I gave it to Lee and he didn’t listen to me and look at what happened to him. So I am going to say it again. I am done .. being the fat piece of shit everyone laughs at, pokes fun at, has a good giggle at. I am done being the person who is just there. It is time to take that step, it is time to go back to what made me who I am, how I got here, why it took twenty years, because I played by my rules, I burned down every single bridge there was and I hurt, pissed off and annoyed countless people, it got me here, stopping that path has only kept me in place for all these years. Nope. Not again. Every single champion, from the bottom, all the way right to the top. I am going to work my way through each and every single one of you, but your titles. Keep them. This is about proving, one thing, that I am better than you all. That I have always been better than you, bronze, silver, nah. I am after the gold, the only title that matters and I will put every single one of you champions and challengers as well, down until there is no other choice, until I get what I want.”
He was done. He was sick, tired and fucked off. Never being enough, never getting anywhere, never being that person he was meant to be. That was going to chance. Trevor Lee was the first, but he was not going to be the last.
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
A familiar phrase echoes throughout the arena, leading into the opening bassline of Headlong Flight by Rush and with it, a chorus of boos. However, as each instrument joins into the song, smoke begins to fill the stage and before long, several figures walk out onto the stage, silhouetted in the smoke. As the smoke dissipates, the boos from the crowd lessen as they see who it is joining Edge on the stage. Standing off on the further sides of Edge are Beth Phoenix and Christian, each with a smaller hand holding their own. Connected to those hands are the Copeland daughters, who are directly to each side of Edge, each one holding his hands as well. The entire family, connected as they walk down the ramp. At the stairs, Christian breaks off first to man the ropes. Edge nods to Beth, who lets go and enters the ring, showing her daughters how to do so. Edge crouches next to them and whispers something to them, before urging each one up the steps, exactly as their mother did. As they do, Edge is handed a microphone and once inside, Christian releases the ropes but remains on the apron, his legs giving just enough berth. Edge backs up, takes a running start and slides into the ring, between his partner's legs, ending up just in front of his daughters, who he looks up at and smiles towards. They return the smile and assist Edge to his feet as Christian enters the ring and stands with the family. Though the crowd isn't cheering, they're certainly enjoying this public display of the private Adam Copeland. As Edge raises the microphone to speak, there's a conflicted look on his face.
Edge
You know, I thought this was going to be easier than it actually is. But there's this lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach that have been there since I came to this decision. So maybe talking out my situation will undo the knot and make this easier for me...
I've said it almost every single week since I returned at Wrestlemania, but I returned for one reason and one reason alone. Legacy. To fix a broken legacy and leave something behind that I, my family, and the UWF universe could be proud of when they looked back at the history of this fed. What I soon realized, was that the legacy of the UWF was what I was truly after, not just to ensure its legacy, but to ensure that my legacy would be forever intertwined with it. So when people saw the success of the UWF, they'd see my success as well. Was it selfish? Of course. But is that really surprising to all of you?
Edge gets a resounding boo from the crowd, which brings a smile to his face as he continues.
Edge
But there was truth in my words to raise the standard around here. I knew I could always step up my game but when I looked at the locker room, I wasn't so sure they all could. So after going on a tear and winning both the King of the Ring and the UWF Championship, I knew what the gameplan was. Force someone to step up to that bar and surpass it. Not just once, but twice. I had to earn my rematch, but ultimately, knew I would. Arrogant? Of course but again, is that surprising? So round three comes along and I go down, the towel is thrown and I'm taken out of here to the nearest hospital. To rest and marinate in my thoughts. The first thought that came to my mind was this
I really need to shake Shark Boy's hand. To look him dead in the eye, shake his hand and say aloud for the world to hear. You beat me. You earned that championship. I respect you. And I know, that hearing those words right now, coming from me, doesn't mean much. You'll think it's some ploy, that I'm using my family to bait you into another confrontation. I swear it's the honest truth, but I understand that I have to earn that right to tell you that truth and I'm far from it right now. So this is my promise to you, Shark Boy, I will earn the right to your respect and earn the right to say everything I just did to your face.
Now the crowd pops at the sincere show of respect from the former UWF Champion. His daughters squeeze his legs to get his attention, who simply nod for him to continue, proud of what he's doing. This steels Edge's resolve to push forward.
Edge
And that brings us to the future, my future specifically. In a short time I ascended to the top of the mountain and have been humbled as I tumbled downward. I could let myself tumble all the way to the bottom. To let myself rest and retire having proven that even this late into my career, I still have the skill and willpower to make it to the top. But legacy isn't just what you do...it's who you are. It's how you get there. And how I got to the mountaintop both times I've been in the UWF... There's a lot more that can be said about why I didn't deserve those titles than can be said for me deserving them. The legacy of my family is just as important to me as my legacy as a wrestler. As difficult as it is to imagine, my daughters throughout these past months still looked at me as their hero. So when I was laying in the hospital, I made a decision. Not to retire, but to...evolve. I want all of you in the audience to see me the same way my daughter's see me. I know that's a long road to travel and honestly...I don't even know if I can succeed at it. Old habits die hard. But I've never been one to back down from a challenge. so wherever the winding road of the UWF takes me, whether I'm face to face with the TV Champ, Trevor Lee, the IC Champion Danhausen. Or hell, the Rumble's right around the corner so maybe I'll just win that whole damn thing and push this series with Shark Boy to a round four...
I want to earn it. The right way. The way that makes you all cheer because you saw the adversity that paved the way. You saw the challenges that I refused to let break me. I've spent years blazing a path that bent or broke the rules. Now it's time to walk a path within the lines. Well...as within the lines as I can be. So, UWF Universe...are you with me?
This brings out some cautious cheers from the crowd. Excited for the future...but everyone and their mother knows how easy it is for Edge to go against his word, so time will be the judge of Edge's character in their eyes. Edge raises the microphone once again to speak.
Edge
Oh! And one last thing, which is why I wanted my entire family here, especially dear old Unccy Jay. In regards to Christian's contract status with the UWF I...
Edge is cut off by the sounds of
The Bristol Born Bastard walks onto the stage as he allows his music to play for a moment; The music comes to an abrupt end as Leyton uses his free hand to signal to the back to cut it. Buzzard lowers his free hand as he lifts the microphone to his lips; The look of contempt to Edge's words and actions is instantly recognizable...
"The Bristol Born Bastard"
Edge you want what belongs to me a chance at Lee... "You don't deserve it" chants pipe up to cut off Buzzard.
The Bristol born bastard let's the interruption slide as he cuts into the crowds chant...
I lost my match because these THINGS wanted me to do everything the "just way" if I did everything my way I would of got the job done I would be your reigning TV Champion right now no records for Mr Lee and no chance that someone like you would get a chance at my Television Title. You though had the whole world in your hand but you put your chance at gold in the hands of your friend, Much like I put my faith in these THINGS, they both let US down they made me a broken and bruised man and your friend made you weak. Your whole point of view is shifting and friend as someone who went down that path it's not worth it...
"What" the crowd interrupt Leyton's thoughts as he is frustrated by the constant interruptions...
Edge you were right about these THINGS but now you're backtracking and seeking their approval? Are you mental? It's a crazy world, you had all of this figured out you're a former champion; I am going to be the bigger man here and give you some words of solid advice; Don't even bother with these THINGS "What" they will drain everything they can from you, They will leave you for dead when you realize that the dark twisted space in your mind is needed for success that you want. You've proven this more than once but should turn your back before you get in over your head.
Leyton frustration at the crowds continuous interruptions force him to stop; He face contorts with anger and disgust as he leans into the microphone before yelling...
"YOU WILL SEE; THESE PEOPLE DON'T DESERVE LEYTON BUZZARD and they will turn on you as they have to me!"
Buzzard throws down the microphone as the crowd cheers for Buzzard the first time since he came out. Buzzard turns his back as he walks into the back as the crowds cheers grow louder...
We go backstage where we see the door to the C.U.N.T. Cave, Shark Boy and Grado's ultra-cool and exclusive hangout spot right next to catering. The door opens and we see Grado and Shark Boy having a conversation over a couple of cold Sharkweisers. Shark Boy once again seems surprised by the presence of the camera man in his hideout... he looks at Grado and Grado has a cheeky smile on his face.
Shark Boy: You didn't book me more damn promo time did you?
Grado: Listen Shark Boy, yer a big draw, the people want to hear from the champ.
Shark Boy: Ya know what... you're right and I gots a little somethin' to say.
Shark Boy gets up and walks towards the camera so it's just him in the shot, he picks up the UWF Championship and holds it up to the camera.
Shark Boy: Ya see this?, this here is the UWF Championship. I beat that son of a fish Edge for it and I beat him again to defend it. This is the second time I've held this here prestigious championship belt and this is the first time we've got out of the first month as champ. And yet I see all the experts in their fancy suits on TV and on their lil' podcasts sayin' how Shark Boy is still the damn underdog in his upcoming match at the Royal Rumble. See, Shark Boy's defendin' this here belt against Tommaso Ciampa. A shell of a competitor, a guy that puts basses in seats and a guy that's finally put the pieces together on his way to the top. Now don't get it twisted - I like Tommaso Ciampa, he's talented, he's driven and he was a damn good Intercontinental Champion but what I don't like is the narrative that Shark Boy is just a steppin' stone for Tommaso Ciampa.
Shark Boy pauses and looks at the title longingly.
This here belt represents the very top of this business and it took me a shell of a long time to get here. I've been knocked down over and over again and every time I had to pick myself up and drag my bass back up to the top. I was gone for half a decade. I've been laid out. I've been injured, hurt, written off and yet... finally, here I am, the big cheese, numero uno, the Worlds Heavyweight Champion and here comes Tommaso Ciampa to just smash lil' ol' Shark Boy on this big wave of momentum he's on to become UWF Champion?... EH-EH... I'm used to bein' the underdog, I'm used to bein' doubted and maybe I thought that would go away once I held this big gold belt but I guess not. Tommaso Ciampa is a great wrestler, he's got Diamond Dallas Page guiding him to the top but I'll be damned if he's gon' to the top through ol' Shark Boy.
Shark Boy pauses for effect.
Last week was a mistake, I took my eye off the ball and paid for it... congratulations to Kyle O'Reilly I hope you kick Batista's bass and we can run it back one day but it's time for Shark Boy to lay down the damn law. This here makes me the top dog, the top shark in this ocean and ain't nobody just gon' swim on over and snatch it. There's a big ol' bastard of a target on my back holdin' this but I ain't ready to let it go just yet. So Tommaso, you bring your best, you bring all of Dally's positivity and you give it all you've got because this underdog is gon' prove once again that the UWF is Shark Boy's waters, you'll be UWF Champion one day, I'm damn sure of that, but it ain't gon' be at the Royal Rumble at my expense... AND THAT'S THE FISHIN' LIIIINE... COS SHARK BOY SAID SO!
Shark Boy walks off leaving a confused Grado.
Grado: Where ye goin?... but I thought we were gonnae watch Santa With Muscles again... YOU PROMISED!
The crowd can be heard laughing as Shark Boy comes back into the picture.
Shark Boy: Christmas is over and I'm done handin' out presents... I'm goin' to caterin' you sorry son of a fish, ya comin'?
Grado: Is the Pope a Catholic?
Shark Boy and Grado fist bump and walk off. The camera pans out to show that they only go a few feet before getting to catering. We not go elsewhere.
As, “See Me Shine” by Bone Thugz-n-Harmony begins to play, the UWF fans immediately begin to boo as they know who the theme music belongs to and who they’re inevitably about to have to look at. Not missing a beat, out walks Batista with the Hollywood Championship proudly on him as he makes his way down the ramp to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Washington, D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds. He is the reigning Hollywood Champion and the leader of The Guild, the, “Hollywood Animal”, BAATIIISSSSTTTTAAAA!!!
Batista goes to the nearest turnbuckle and ascends it, using the opportunity to show off the belt once more before stepping down and getting ready for the match ahead.
As Like a Villain blasts over the speakers Ciampa walks out onto stage, hood up and looking down, followed by DDP. The crowd cheers pair loudly, Ciampa would stand focussed as DDP would lower his hood down and Ciampa would look at the ring, not taking his focus off it
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring and being accompanied by DDP from Boston, Massachusetts weighing in tonight at 201lbs he is The "Psycho Killer" Tommaso Ciampa.
Making his march down to the ring, Ciampa would bump fists with some audience members but would keep his eyes on his challenger. Getting to the ring steps, he would kneel down with one leg and look like he's saying a mantra of sorts before slapping the steps to make a loud noise before running up them and getting into the ring.
Ciampa then jumps down from the turnbuckle and looks out at the audience, nodding he jumps down and hands his jacker to DDP, getting into the corner he does some stretches before turning round to sit in the corner, waiting for whats to come.
VS 
DING DING DING
Ciampa comes right out the gate and runs at Big Dave, swinging away with punches to the face, Batista covers up and Ciampa starts beating him in the back of the head and back until the Hollywood Animal gives him a big shove. Right away Batista calls the ref over and grabs the back of hie neck. Tommaso looks flabbergasted but soon realizes it's all just a plot as Miz and Goldust swarm the ring and starts to attack him. They have the numbers advantage but the number one contender to the UWF Championship is fighting them off pretty well. He gives Goldust a knee to the gut and sends him through the ropes. Miz receives a Headbutt that knocks him out cold and Ciampa kicks him out of the ring. He turns back towards Batista but ends up getting cut in half with a massive Spear! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Ciampa kicks out just in time! Batista pulls him up to his feet and throws him over his shoulder. It's looking like he might just Snake Eyes him into the corner but Ciampa falls behind him and shoves him into the corner. Batista stops himself from colliding with the turnbuckles and turns around only to eat a Running Clothesline in the corner with such force that he falls to a seated position. Ciampa runs to the adjacent corner and comes back with a Running Knee to the side of the head! He pulls him out of the corner and makes the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Batista kicks out! Ciampa is already wanting to finish this. He picks Batista up and gets him in position for the Fairy Tale Ending. Goldust hops back on the apron to distract him and Batista picks up Ciampa and rams him into the corner where he proceeds to deliver multiple Shoulder Thrusts. If that wasn't enough, he pulls him in away from the corner and holds him tight in a Bearhug!
Tom Phillips: Batista seems really focused on the midsection of Ciampa here.
Corey Graves: When you hurt someone's ribs, it makes it harder for them to breath. Batista is not only a Hollyhood Hunk but a world class wrestler who knows these types of things.
Ciampa is looking worse for wear so he tries to punch Big Dave in the head to free himself. It doesn't quite work and so he goes for the next best thing, throwing off his equilibrium by slapping his ears. This time that works and he gets free. He runs to the ropes to build some momentum and comes back only to get caught with a Spinebuster! Batista shakes the ropes, does the whole deal, you know it. Ciampa is up and gets kicked in the gut. Batista lifts him up for the bomb but Ciampa turns it into a DDT! He's looking full of fighting spirit as he brings Batista up once more. Goldust again gets on the apron to cause the distraction but the ref tries to get him down right away. Miz comes in with the Prime Time Medal and decks Ciampa in the face! He exits just as quickly as he entered and Batista grabs Ciampa, lifting him up and bringing him down with the Batista Bomb! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
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3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Batista!
Tom Phillips: The Guild just stole one here tonight!
Corey Graves: I saw impeccable teamwork and you can be sure that'll get Batista far in the Royal Rumble.
Mauro Ranallo: Both champion and challenger to the UWF Championship have suffered losses in back to back weeks to two separate men who have been at each other's throats.
Corey Graves: Let's not get that dumb oaf Kyle O'Reilly any credit. Shark Boy isn't worthy of being UWF Champion. He's lucky Batista is only Prime Time Medal holder for now but after the Royal Rumble, he'll be gunning for him next, trust me.
The Guild are celebrating the big win like they just won an Oscar. Ciampa is sitting on the floor looking disappointed as the show moves on.
Following a Pillsbury commercial, Revolution returns with Renee Young standing by backstage.
Renee Young
With me at this time, the UWF Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen!
In steps Danhausen, who appears to be in possession of some edible treats.
Danhausen
Hello, yes, seasons greetings Reneehausen! Please accept this slice of pizza as a token of Danhausen’s appreciation for this interview time that you are giving him.
Renee Young
Oh… why thank you.
Danhausen
Danhausen must admit this is quite an abnormal method of eating…
Renee Young
That was tasty. Thank you so much.
Danhausen
Yes, yes. It is a secret and special Danhausen recipe, filled with lots of very nice and very evil goodness.
Renee Young
Well it’s good to know that you have some impressive skills outside of the ring as well as in it, but if we can talk more about the latter for the mean time, you’re in quite a unique but also somewhat daunting position right now, where you’re looking at several upcoming potential contenders for your Intercontinental Title, and who will all presumably be looking to challenge you officially in the not too distant future. Does it concern you that you’re now something of a top target for many?
Danhausen
Danhausen knew the scorehausen from the moment he won this prized title, and so far during his prosperous reign he has not been led to believe any differently. The more that come for Danhausen and his title, the better it is for all parties, particularly when Danhausen does exactly what he’s been doing up till this point by continuing to see off those that make an official challenge to him. Sure, nothing lasts forever, and Danhausen has encountered various setbacks along the way, but he’s still standing here before you as one of the hottest Ultimate Wrestling acts there is, because up till now, nobody has found a way to turn him cold.
Renee Young
But with that said, do you think that any of the potential upcoming challengers have the ability to do just that?
Danhausen
Well Danhausen reckons they all do, but it’s up to him to prove them wrong. There’s already motivation for him to go out and gain a measure of payback on Davetista should he be able to hold on to the Cryme Tyme Medal for the required time. And whilst he didn’t quite get the job done against Al Soldier last week, should that heinous fellow be looking to have another match when there’s more at stake, Danhausen can assure him that he will be more than ready to prevent lightning from striking twice. There are lessons to be learned from that experience, which Danhausen hopes will come into effect in his match tonight with Edward Guerrilla. It’s particularly important that Danhausen gets himself back to winning ways and starts to build some momentum ahead of the Monarch Earthquake, a match that Danhausen will remind you he came so very close to winning last time out. Will Danhausen go the extra mile next time around? He certainly hopes so, but the only way of giving him the best possible chance will be to make sure he remains a successful fighting champion by seeing off any and all challengers that stand in his way.
As Renee gets ready to ask Danhausen another question, they are interrupted by
“Very nice, very evil, or is it, very stupid, very weak.”
As the mad king would walk up to them both, standing there as his eyes were focused on the champion and nothing else. The woman at his side, could take the hint and slither away for all that he cared, he was only here, for this so called champion.
“This, this right here, is what passes for a champion. A bargain knocked off Sting, now I have seen everything.”
He would shake his head side to side. This. This man. Was what passes as a champion within this company right now. That was .. something. That only managed to piss him off a little bit more than before, as he stepped forward once more, to be a little bit closer to him as he looked him again, up and down and rolled his eyes, he was not impressed, at all with what was before him.
“They call you a champion, but that is an insult to every single man and woman, that has worked themselves into the ground, to pull themselves through hell and everything that has been thrown at them to make it and to hold gold, to know that someone as worthless as yourself, is holding onto gold. Is holding onto a title, when there are so many others here, who are better than you, is a joke. A comedy loser, in face paint. Who was never good enough to make it as himself, had to change and paint his face, act all stupid and shit to gain any shred of reaction. To know you have a title .. and I have never even held gold here. Just shows me, how easy I have been taking things here. It just shows me, how wrong this company is. You don’t get rewarded for time, effort and hard work. That your sacrifices don’t bring you success. No. You have to make a fool out of yourself. You have to make children laugh and smile, you have to make people cheer and clap for you, for how stupid you are. Your a character, I commend you for that. An entertainer, nothing more and nothing less, but you are not a wrestler. You tried, you failed and you went a different path. Good for you, but the fact that you, someone like you is holding a title, well that just pisses me off. To me, that is wrong and I am all out of festive fucking cheer. I am all out of standing around and waiting, I am all out of being the good hand, the one people can depend on for a decent match, I want something for myself and I have to do .. whatever I have to do, to take it. Nothing against an idiot like you, but the fact your a champion and I’m not, just .. does not sit well for me. Fuck you, fuck this woman here, fuck everyone else here. My new year, is going to be my best, you know why, cause I am done, being nice, done being good, done going slow, I am going to take what I am owed, might start with you little man, take that title of you, throw it in the trash, doubt you have the balls, to do anything about it as well, a fucking washed up wrestler, turned joke like you, this is as good as it is gonna get for you, but all good things end and your little reign, well I might just end it, and end the reigns of every single champion here, just because, I can.”
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare come out to a huge ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
When the southern alt. rock hit "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" starts playing throughout the arena, the fans' excitement is turned into scorn as out struts the man best known either as the mayor of Harlan, Kentucky or as the current UWF Television Champion, one mister Trevor Lee. Stepping in time with his theme song, Trevor Lee is given a showcase of the "respect" that the fans have for him, as a cacophony of jeers rain down upon the champ, with them quickly amplifying as Lee stands at the top of the entrance ramp, giving a double finger point to the gorilla position right as "The Butcher" Andy Williams comes to join him. Once his good ol' friend Andy comes to join him, Lee's smile grows even wider as the duo start their entrance together proper.
Tony Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by "The Butcher" Andy Williams...weighing in at 220 lbs, he is the current UWF Television Champion and acting mayor of Harlan, Kentucky...'Mister' Trevor Lee!
As Lee makes his way down the ramp, he has that sinister, serpent's grin put on full display as he looks out around at the gathered crowd. With his re-election long since secured, the only thing left in the hands of mister Trevor Lee is that piece of Harlan Gold that has been firmly kept by his side since July of 2022, as the record-setting UWF Television Champion strides down to the ringside area, basking in the hatred from the audience.
Once at ringside, Lee opts to take the long road, striding to the hardcam side with that damned devilish grin on his face, Andy following closely behind to prevent any ambushes like a good bodyguard does. Hopping up knees-first onto the ring apron, mister Trevor Lee once again stops to look out to the crowd, using his newly-freed hand to clutch onto the ropes while keeping a firm grip on the WUF TV Title with the other, before then perking up to his feet. Finding his footing, Lee would point two fingers up to the sky, his eyes closed and a beaming smirk on his face, as he calls out how he's bringing both his in-ring and political game "TO THE MOON!"
With Trevor FINALLY in the ring, "The Butcher" Andy Williams would roll in afterwards, going right into his goose stepping taunt as he circles around his mayor, before standing right to the side of his boss/employer/friend(?), letting Lee take center stage once more as the two now await whomever Lee is facing off against...
VS 
DING DING DING
Cody looks ready to go to prove he has what it takes to win. Trevor Lee however looks less than impressed. He calls for a microphone and tells Cody to wait up, he's got some things to say. Rhodes backs away and allows him to speak.
Trevor Lee: "Now I don't know if y'all know what next week means. As of January 5th, I will officially be the-"
Before he can get another word out, Cody grabs him from behind and lays him out with the Crossrhodes!
Corey Graves: Hey! You can;t just attack a mayor as he's giving a speech!
Tom Phillips: We're in the middle of a match Corey!
Corey Graves: I don't care if it's a free for all, you don't cheap shot someone from behind!
Cody pulls Lee away from the ropes and makes the pin!
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But No! The Television Champion kicks out! Cody looks a bit stunned, thinking that should have put him away right there. Lee however looks like it was more of a kickout on instinct as it looks like the lights aren't on in his eyes. Cody grabs him and pulls him back up to a vertical base. Cody lifts him up over his back to get him down for the Alabama Slam but Lee kicks his feet and flips over into a Sunset Flip. Only problem is, Rhodes manages to stay upright and keep his balance. He jumps up top drop a Knee but the Television Champion rolls away and Cody's knee just drives into the mat. He rolls away holding it as Lee gets back to his feet. Cody does the same and runs at him but gets caught by a Collision Course into the pin!
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Cody kicks out!
Corey Graves: Even with that cheap shot he still about to learn that he's not good enough to hang with the Mayor of Harlan.
Mauro Ranallo: I don't know Corey, it looks like Trevor Lee doesn't even know where he's at.
Corey Graves: He doesn't need to know where he's at he just needs to fight.
Trevor Lee grabs Cody and attempts to set him up for some Political Aspirations but Rhodes is able to block it enough to rolls him forward into a snapmare. Lee rolls into a seated position and is then Dropkicked in the back of the head! Lee rolls away but Cody stops him from getting out of the ring. He pulls him back up and Lee tries to fight hi off with some shots to the ribs but Cody just brings him in close for the Silver Spoon DDT! Cody isn't going to settle though, he wants to make sure this is a done deal. He picks up Lee from behind and bends him back once more. He connects with a second Crossrhodes and makes the pin!
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Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Cody Rhodes!
Tom Phillips: Looks like Cody just placed himself in line for a title shot in the new year.
Corey Graves: Since when does blindsiding your opponent give you a title shot?
Mauro Ranallo: Have you ever watched old UWF?
The Butcher comes in and Cody rolls to the outside, not wanting to deal with any potential attacks. Lee is checked on while Cody signals for the belt around his waist and the show moves on.
The titantron switches from the UWF graphic to a live feed from backstage where Renee Young is standing by.
Young: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, Kyle O... uh... hey, Bayley.
Instead of the Diabetic Dragon coming into the frame, it's his step-sister Bayley! She's all smiles as she greets the company's finest backstage correspondent.
Bayley: What's shaking Renee? Sorry to catch ya off guard with the ol' switcharoo. Thing is, my step-bro Kyle is really busy getting some last-minute training in ahead of his second consecutive main event match. Not that he needs it though. Did you see what he did to Shark Boy last week? Pinned him clean right there smack dab in the center of the ring! The O'Reilly's have never known a prouder night, Renee, I'll tell ya that much. I mean, for pete's sake, that was the UWF Champion in there and Kyle just bulldozed the guy!
Young: Well, yeah... I mean... "pinned him clean" might be a bit of stretch. There's been a lot of chatter online about how you might have distracted -
The Doctor of Hugamomics cuts her off before she can even finish the thought.
Bayley: If a couple of snarky, smarty-pants, smark nerds wanna split hairs and nitpick their lives away on twitter, god bless their little hearts. This is America, Renee, and everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But results? They speak for themselves. When the dust settles, there's a winner and a loser and last week on Revolution, Kyle O'Reilly scored a win over the world heavyweight champion. Tonight? You can bet your boots it's gonna be more of the same, cause there ain't a damn thing Eddie Kingston can do that my step-brother can't do better.
Young: Speaking of "results", Kyle's match with Batista at Slammiversary ended via disqualification. It sure seems like those two still have some unfinished business. Now that Batista is the Prime Time Medalist, any chance we see the self-proclaimed Human Swiss Army Knife gunning for that gold?
Bayley: "Unfinished business" might be the understatement of the century, Renee. I can hear my brother talking in his sleep every night from his room down the hall. Rest assured, he's having some pretty vividly violent dreams about what he's got in store for Big Dave next time they step foot in the ring together.
Prime Time Medal... Hollywood Championship... you name it. Kyle's coming for everything. He already upstaged Batista as an actor and proved he's the tougher wrestler. Now that the Animal's name is mud, all that's left to take are his shiny toys and he'll just be a miserable bum with nothing going for him.
Young: Alright, well, we look forward to seeing how that feud unfolds in the coming weeks.
Bayley: I bet you will. And a word to the seven-ish Batista fans out there in the world - enjoy your boy while you can, cause it won't be long before we run him out of this biz for good. If you thought round one was brutal, wait till you see how unhinged my big bro gets in the rematch.
Bayley cracks a knowing, cocksure smirk at the camera then walks away. Renee signs off and Revolution rolls on!
Buzzard is in a room sitting in what he was wearing moments earlier; A quick "Pre Recorded message from The Leyton Buzzard" pops up before Leyton begins to directly speak into the camera...
Leyton "The Bristol Born Bastard" Buzzard
I recorded this after my time in the ring with Edge and I want to address each and everyone of you THINGS , You see if the last FOUR months have taught me anything; It's to never work for the adulation of THINGS who beg and plead for you to go to war for them. You THINGS lead me down that path and LOOK where that got Leyton Buzzard; In the moment I saw clearly what needed to be done; You guys wanted me to fight Cody so badly you didn't care that I was burnt out, You didn't care that I was one thread away from snapping it's not like I gave you THINGS warning BUT no you kept demanding that I pickup the pieces right. You've never cared you only cared about the boyhood dream for a moment until I couldn't get the job done against Lee. I think about our match every night it keeps me awake only if I didn't listen to you THINGS!
I went to a dark place when I burned down the church that fateful day because I was obsessed with getting you THINGS what you wanted, I burned down a church for you and you guys lost interest as soon as I couldn't get the job done against Lee DUE to the company having a conspiracy against me despite it being clear as day that the system was rigged against me. I tried to let that slide but at meet and greets I had one statement that burned me up inside "You were so close to beating Lee I believed in you" followed by a "maybe next time". I started resenting you people realizing how self indulging and greedy you THINGS are; Than on the other hand I had Cody Rhodes who echoed what you fans wanted he wanted me to "ACCEPT the MATCH". Boy I didn't want to accept the match but all I would see when I went online was fans asking for me to "ACCEPT the MATCH"!
Than this unhinged Cody Rhodes came into my home and forced my hand; You see I finally broke and lost my head for a split moment from a month of PRESSURE and I went to dark place and took out all of my pent up frustration on Cody and "ACCEPTED the DAMN MATCH" but you THINGS weren't happy with getting what you wanted. You were shocked and appalled by what I had done and couldn't see any "logic" to as why; Maybe you THINGS need to look into the mirror and understand you created the monster I have become. You THINGS are not worthy of being acknowledged by Leyton Buzzard.
Maybe just maybe you will see me wrestle again but I am looking around for new allies and maybe some new targets because Leyton Buzzard is going to show you how a true bastard acts. I will be watching you all next week and may you pray to god that I DON'T pick you.
I went to a dark place when I burned down the church that fateful day because I was obsessed with getting you THINGS what you wanted, I burned down a church for you and you guys lost interest as soon as I couldn't get the job done against Lee DUE to the company having a conspiracy against me despite it being clear as day that the system was rigged against me. I tried to let that slide but at meet and greets I had one statement that burned me up inside "You were so close to beating Lee I believed in you" followed by a "maybe next time". I started resenting you people realizing how self indulging and greedy you THINGS are; Than on the other hand I had Cody Rhodes who echoed what you fans wanted he wanted me to "ACCEPT the MATCH". Boy I didn't want to accept the match but all I would see when I went online was fans asking for me to "ACCEPT the MATCH"!
Than this unhinged Cody Rhodes came into my home and forced my hand; You see I finally broke and lost my head for a split moment from a month of PRESSURE and I went to dark place and took out all of my pent up frustration on Cody and "ACCEPTED the DAMN MATCH" but you THINGS weren't happy with getting what you wanted. You were shocked and appalled by what I had done and couldn't see any "logic" to as why; Maybe you THINGS need to look into the mirror and understand you created the monster I have become. You THINGS are not worthy of being acknowledged by Leyton Buzzard.
Maybe just maybe you will see me wrestle again but I am looking around for new allies and maybe some new targets because Leyton Buzzard is going to show you how a true bastard acts. I will be watching you all next week and may you pray to god that I DON'T pick you.
The camera abruptly cuts as the video reaches its conclusion
When Lie, Cheat, Steal by Jim Johnston plays, The UWF Universe See a low rider coming out from the back and drives it smoothly out here onto the stage and rides it straight down towards the ramp away and he pulls to a stop and turned on the switches inside of his low rider an stops it and gets out of his low rider in starts shaking his arms in gets inside of the Revolution ring and climbs up the top rope and beats on his chest and shakes his arms once again and head over towards the other top rope and does the exact same thing beats his chest and does the shake an gets down from the top rope
Tony Chimel: From El Paso, Texas Weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds Eddie Guerrero
Suddenly the lights start to darken and flicker...
Cheers begin to ring all around the arena as the music plays and Danhausen takes to the stage. After a couple of slow spins around the stage area, Danhausen then raises his arms and gives out a determined yell as the crowd pops in appreciation.
Tony Chimel
Making his way to the ring, from Someplace Far Away, weighing at least 300lbs, Danhausen!!
Danhausen heads down the ramp, waving politely at some of the fanhausens in attendance before he hops up onto the apron and signals the nearby cameraman to get a close up shot of him. Danhausen then points directly into the camera lens and yells “Love That Danhausen!” before climbing through the middle rope and posing in the center of the ring with his arms held high once again.
VS 
DING DING DING
Guerrero struts to the middle of the ring looking confident as all hell after his big win last week. He offers his hand to the Intercontinental Champion and Danhausen comes up to him and goes to shake it. Eddie suddenly pulls it back and runs his fingers through his hair. Danhausen gets angry at this and puts the fingers up to curse Eddie! The legendary luchador doesn't seem phased. What kind of curse could ever effect him? Eddie grabs Danhausen and puts him in a Side Headlock. He flips him over into a Headlock Takedown. He takes his fist and rubs it on Danhausen's head giving him one hell of a Noogie! The Intercontinental Champion quickly escapes and gets to his feet, hair looking all tussled.
Corey Graves: Haha! Look at this idiot!
Tom Phillips: If that cursehausen wasn't enough, you can be sure Danhausen will make sure to really send a message to Eddie.
Danhausen runs right at Eddie full of rage but Guerrero trips him up with a Drop Toe Hold. He runs to the ropes and follows up with a Basement Dropkick to the face! Danhausen rolls out onto the apron to quickly recoup but Eddie comes over the ropes and grabs him, pulling him back up. He goes to Suplex him back into the ring but Danhausen reverse and slips up behind him. He goes to lift him for a German Suplex but Eddie holds onto the ropes. He gives him a few Back Elbows to stun him a bit before he jumps to the middle ropes for a Springboard Crossbody into the pin!
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Danhausen kicks out right away! He gets to his feet but is hit with another Dropkick! Danhausen opts to just roll out of the ring to get even more of a breather. Eddie walks over to the corner and puts his feet up with his hands behind his head like he's just chillin'. Danhausen actually looks frustrated by this. He slaps his hand on the mat in anger and turns to face the ramp. He has his head down but takes a deep breath to compose himself. He turns around but he didn't see that Guerrero was waiting by the ropes and he slingshots himself over the top with a Crossbody to the floor below!
Mauro Ranallo: Eddie Guerrero is cool, confident and seems to have Danhausen's number all match long.
Corey Graves: Most people don't know how to react to Danhausen. They just see a face painted freak and it throws them off but Eddie's seen everything there is to see in wrestling. The man faked his own death, you can't get anymore evil than that!
Eddie picks up Danhausen and throws him back into the ring. He climbs back up onto the apron and goes straight to the top rope. He's setting him up for his finish but Danhausen rolls far away to the other side of the ring so Eddie can't reach him. Guerrero smirks and shrugs before hopping down. He picks Danhausen back up and throws him to the ropes. Danhausen comes back and gets caught with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker or at least that as the plan but Danhausen rotates all the way through and lands on his feet. He gives Eddie a Forearm shot to the face. Eddie comes back with a big swing but Danhausen ducks it and grabs him, flipping him into the Bridging Northern Light's Suplex!
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Eddie kicks out! Danhausen picks him up right away and lifts him onto his shoulders. It's time to go night night for Eddie but when he throws him up, Eddie transitions it into a Hurrincanrana! Danhasuen rolls right through up to his feet but loses his balance a little. Eddie goes to kick him in the gut and delivers a Suplex! He hangs on though and rolls through to hit another. He hangs on yet again and completes the trifecta for the Three Amigos! He floats over for the pin!
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Danhausen kicks out! Eddie brings him back up but Danhausen scoops him up onto his shoulders yet again! This time he acts fast and nails the Very Nice, Very Kneevil! Eddie goes down but Danhausen isn't about to stop there. He looks over at his jar of teeth a smiles maniacally. Danhausen grabs the jar of teeth and walks over to Eddie and gets ready to pour them down his mouth. Eddie grabs onto his hand and tries to block it. It's like an arm wrestling competition as they fight for dominance but Eddie ends up shoving Danhausen and he gets knocked into the referee. Danhausen still has the jar of teeth but smashes it on the mat! He then flat backs on the mat and Eddie looks around. The ref turns around and sees the champ laid out with Eddie standing. Guerrero tries to explain what happened but the ref isn't hearing it.
Tom Phillips: Looks like the shoe is on the other foot there Eddie!
Corey Graves: This is bullcrap! What a cheat!
Eddie walks over to Danhausen and goes to grab him to explain what just happened but just then Danhausen pulls him into an Inside Cradle!
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But No! Eddie kicks out just in time! Both men rush up to their feet and start trading blows. Eddie being the bigger of the two starts to get the better of the exchange but the Very Evil One pokes him right in the eyes! Eddie turns away but Danhausen grabs him and gives him a German Suplex! Eddie lands high on his neck and flops over looking dazed. Danhausen points the double fingers at him again, the double curse! He moves in and places him in a double underhook before delivering the Goodnighthausen! The Intercontinental Champion makes the pin!
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Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, the Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen!
Tom Phillips: A statement win from the Intercontinental Champhausen.
Mauro Ranallo: With his loss to LA Knight last week and Eddie Kingston declaring to be coming for all champions, Danhausen had to win here to stop any more potential challengers to come out the woodwork.
Eddie rolls out to the apron where Eve checks on him. Danhausen grabs his title and looks to the camera saying "Were you watching Eddie" and throws the title over his shoulder, sending a clear message to any and all potential challengers. Revolution rolls on!
We cut to the backstage area where Sami Zayn is standing by.
Sami Zayn: So it's that time of year again. The Royal Rumble. The time where a bunch of losers who have a whole bunch of nothing all year think that they can just skip the line and get to where I've been making my home. I've always scoffed at how silly this whole concept is. Who cares if you can throw someone over the ropes. How is that a measure of how good a wrestler you are. How does that warrant the main event of Wrestlemania? And while I still don't agree with it, it's become apparent that in order to get to where I belong, I need to play these silly little games.
Zayn scoffs at the idea and shakes his damn head.
Sami Zayn: The problem is every year, I'm the biggest threat. Everyone likes to downplay my accomplishments because being a legendary tag team wrestler apparently doesn't amount to much to a bunch of nobodies who won't go down in the history books for anything. It's not until they see just how dominate I am that they realize just how wrong they are and they team up to eliminate me. It happens in Every. Single. Match like this. Well this time, I have it on good authority that with Homicide out of the picture, there's another open spot. I can think of a few people who could fill in those roles. Let's just hope no more spots get opened up due to some unfortunate accidents.
Zayn smiles and winks to the camera as it slowly fades out.
We head backstage near the locker room area. We are greeted by a man in the holiday spirit.
LA Knight: YEAH!!! Seasons greetings to all the dummies and bottle blondes. Welcome to my show, Revolution. I am of course, "The Million Dollar Megastar" L...A...Knight. And tonight, I am in a great mood. You know why? Because I'm riding a high. 'Ya see, ol' L...A Knight had a big night, pardon the pun, last week. So let me say it again, YEAH!!!
LA Knight: In case 'ya were livin' under a rock and missed ;ast week's Revolution, Let Me Talk to 'ya!
LA Knight: LA Knight spent all week trying to tell anyone that would listen that LA Knight is money. LA Knight is the draw. Everything LA Knight touches turns to gold. And once again, I proved that to be true. Last week, I took the current Intercontinental Champion Danhausen, gave him a ride on the Gravy Train, pinned him 1...2...3 right in the middle of that ring, clean as a sheet.
LA Knight: Now, if 'ya don't mind. Let's do a little fact checking, shall we?
LA Knight: The current Television Champion Trevor Lee could not beat me.....CHECK!
LA Knight: The current Intercontinental Champion Danhausen could not beat me....CHECK!
LA Knight: I really don't care for that fake Championship or the rinky dink medal that he has but Mr. Prime Time Medal, Batista cannot beat me...CHECK!
LA Knight: So that just leaves one. The Big Kahuna himself. Or as I like to call him, the big DUMMY in the mask. I'm talking about none other than the UWF Champion, Shark Boy. Now, Sharkie, baby, I know you have your hands full dealing with Tommaso Ciampa in the near future, but I would be remiss if I didn't let you know that your name has officially been added to my list. I have you in my sights and I won't stop until I'm UWF Champion.
LA Knight: Alas, I will let you deal with Ciampa and I will wait my turn. But, let it be known Sharkie, L...A...Knight is not a patient man, Now, I know what you're all wondering. "How Oh how is LA Knight going to get an opportunity at the UWF Championship?" Well, the answer to that is very simple. 'Ya see, there's a very big match coming up. And it's a match that L...A...Knight plans to win. He's going to take 29 dummies, throw them over the top rope, and punch his ticket to the grandest stage of them all.
LA Knight: That's right, 'ya heard it here first. L...A...Knight is callin' his shot and proclaiming that he's going to win the Royal Rumble Match.And when he does, he's going to go on to the Main Event of WrestleMania, challenge for the UWF Championship, and when all the smoke has cleared, it will be chanted from the mountain tops....AND NEW! UWF Champion, L...A...Knight. And that's not an insult; THAT'S just a fact of....
Before Knight can finish, he is rudely interrupted by a smiling, very familiar face that hasn't been seen around these parts in a while. The smile that interrupts him is none other then the Little Bastard from Dudleyville, Spike Dudley.
Spike Dudley: I'm so sorry to cut you off like that...... Mr Knight was it? It is incredibly rude of me to do that. I mean I feel it was necessary but still rude none the same.
Spike continues his annoying smile towards the Million Dollar Rockstar.
Spike Dudley: I am of course here for personal reasons, my beautiful partner Stacy is around spreading the holiday joy, Bubba and D-Von are at home nursing their injuries from the annual Christmas Day Tableathon. Mumma Dudley took her record to 10 years straight of being the last one through a table and everyone's favourite Uncle, Uncle Spike Dudley is standing right in front of you having heard every word you said.
Spike takes a moment to think about what he is going to say next, rubbing his chin.
Spike Dudley: Now my education wasn't the best, we only had one school in Dudleyville and the only class was Woodshop so you can imagine, I ain't the sharpest tool in the woodshop but I can only imagine that you were going to finish that sentence off with the word LIFE. Just a fact of life, I'm pretty sure I've heard that statement before. I could be wrong but I'll just assume and make an ass out of me and U. It's funny how life works out isn't it. Life brings you facts like the ones you just shared with us and I have to admit, I haven't been keeping up with UWF myself, I wanted to make a clean snap but you seem like a trustworthy man so I believe everything you just said.
Life also brings you moments that make you feel like they were just suppose to happen. Do I think it was a coincidence that Trevor Lee could not beat you?....... NOPE..... Do I think it was a coincidence that Danhasuen could not beat you?.......... NOPE. Do I think it was a coincidence that Batista couldn't beat you....... NOPE. Nothing about those are coincidences. You make your own luck and your own skills but the biggest thing that I don't think is a coincidence is I believe Uncle Spike Dudley was suppose to visit the UWF on this night. Uncle Spike Dudley was suppose to be backstage tonight and Uncle Spike Dudley was suppose to be walking past right when you decided to take a ride on your own hype train.
Listening to you, reminded me of all the guys before you back in my day that needed that one big test before getting that shot at the UWF Championship. The ones that thought they were ready but just needed to convince everyone, one last time. You want to do it in the Royal Rumble, fair enough, good luck but listening to you, it's kind of got a bit of fire in my belly. It seems like you are on a roll. You just keep raking up victims and you know what, Uncle Spike Dudley feels something in his stomach that he hasn't felt in a long time. Uncle Spike Dudley wants to find out just how good you are. Uncle Spike Dudley wants to see if you can back up your words a little...maybe I want to make a little return to UWF.... who bloody know but LA Knight, you have certainly got me interested in UWF again. I'll be watching you very closely. I want to know how your story goes and I want to see where your star..........shines.
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
”Cold World” begins to play as out walks Eddie Kingston looking ready for a fight as always as he wastes no time heading down the ramp towards the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Yonkers, New York. Weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds. He is the, “Mad King”, Eddie…Kingston!
Eddie enters the ring and gets to his feet as he gets ready for the match ahead.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent…
A lion synthethetic violion whispers through the air like a pretodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entrance way. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out on to the ramp, fists and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day while his step-sister Bayley follows close behind. He does some shadow boxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by Bayley, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's pace is in lock-step with the groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred some air guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight. Bayley, meanwhile, lurks and lingers on the fringe of the squared circle, ready to fight dirty if it comes to that.
VS 
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, O’Reilly takes a wild right swing at his opponent but Kingston sidesteps, getting his fists up in the process. As this happens, Kyle is visibly frustrated as he takes a wild left swing this time but again, it gets sidestepped. Eddie starts in the direction of his opponent and acts like he’s going for a straight right, then slips low and delivers an underhanded left uppercut to Kyle’s abdomen as Kyle hunches over from the impact of the hit. Eddie grabs Kyle and does a Gutwrench lift into a Spinebuster as he then dives on O’Reilly and starts raining down on him with mounted punches. Satisfied with the amount of punches landed, Eddie starts to get up but Kyle raises up and blasts him with a Forearm before rolling so that Eddie’s the one on the mat and O’Reilly’s the one throwing the mounted punches. After multiple punches land, Kyle delivers another Forearm before standing up and then keeps the offense going with a Sweet ‘n Sour favorite, the Sweeney Stomp! The crowd cheers as KOR circles the downed Kingston, stomping him the entire way. After making one revolution around Eddie’s downed body, Kyle delivers one more stomp to the face before grabbing Eddie and sitting him up, digging the fingers of his right hand into Eddie’s collarbone area and flexing his left arm upward and inward as he starts delivering elbow shot after elbow shot to the head and side of the neck, alternating between points of contact with each hit that connects. Once this has happened a few times, Kyle throws Kingston to the mat on his side and returns to his feet as Kingston rolls onto his stomach and punches the mat with both fists before climbing to his feet as well, daring KOR to bring on more offense.
Obliging with the request, Kyle delivers a kick to the abdomen of Kingston that causes him to hunch over then starts delivering windmill punches to the back. Eddie stands up suddenly, swinging his arms up and outward to break up the attack as he then shoves O’Reilly in the sternum with both hands as Kyle takes a few steps back towards the corner as a result. Eddie charges and delivers a Running Forearm to the bridge of the nose that puts Kyle all the way in the corner, then closes the distance between them with a Stinger Splash as Kyle slinks down into a seated position at the bottom of the turnbuckle. Eddie does Shark Boy’s taunt and then starts stomping a mudhole in the, “Diabetic Dragon”, the crowd actually booing the, “Mad King” as he does this. After multiple impactful stomps connect, Eddie grabs Kyle and stands him up in the corner as he delivers a Knife Edge Chop across the chest before going into several boxing-esque body shots to the chest and abdomen thrown in quick succession. The, “Human Swiss Army Knife” falls forward as Eddie backs off the offense, Kingston catching Kyle and then grabbing him around his body before exploding into an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex but Kyle lands on his feet!
As Kingston, unaware of this, turns to face Kyle he is caught on the jaw with a Superkick as he falls back and lands in a seated position in the same spot that O’Reilly just was. O’Reilly takes off running and leaps up, bringing his legs in and extending them out quickly as he catches Eddie’s upper body with both feet. Kyle rolls backward onto his feet and stands up to a vertical base before taking off running again as he delivers a knee to the face of his opponent then starts teeing off on the top of Kingston’s head with stiff punches. Despite the punches raining down, Eddie grabs the ropes to each side and starts rising to a vertical base and once he’s back to his feet, delivers a Headbutt to Kyle and then goes for the Spinning Backfist but KOR grabs the arm and reverses into a Ripcord Lariat, knocking Eddie down into a seated position as Kyle applies a Diabetic Dragon Sleeper. As Kingston tries to fight out of the hold, Kyle gradually begins to stand up, keeping the hold applied and bringing Eddie with him, and then suddenly brings him down to the mat with a Reverse DDT.
As O’Reilly gets up to his feet, suddenly Eddie sits up and again motions for him to bring on more offense. Kyle throws a kick towards Eddie’s body in response but Eddie grabs the leg with both arms and twists, taking Kyle down as he stands up and applies an Ankle Lock. This doesn’t last long however as Kyle turns and kicks Eddie with his free leg as Eddie staggers into the ropes. KOR kips up as Kingston comes off the ropes and connects with a Spanish Fly then, almost as soon as they land, starts raining down on Kingston again with punches. Eddie blocks one and delivers a Headbutt, then another as he returns to a vertical base and guides a dazed Kyle to one just to bring him back to the mat with a Leaping STO. Kingston rolls his opponent over now and goes for the cover.
ONE!
NO!
O’Reilly is quick to get the shoulder up as the, “Mad King” creates some distance between them. As Kyle returns to a vertical base, Eddie goes for a straight right but Kyle sidesteps and delivers a kick straight to the solar plexus. As Eddie hunches over, Kyle hooks his head and delivers a quick DDT before rolling him over and starting to lay into him again, this time with forearm shots instead of punches. Kingston is opened up now as Kyle sits him up and starts delivering elbows to the top of the head again before standing him up. O’Reilly watches Eddie groggily stagger a bit, blood running down his face, then goes for a Headbutt but Kingston blocks it by getting his hands up, kicking KOR directly in the groin before seizing the neck and delivering a quick Chokebomb. Eddie runs into the ropes now and, as he comes off of them, leaps up and connects with a Body Senton, sandwiching his opponent between his body weight and the mat. Kingston gets up and kicks Kyle in the side, causing him to roll over, then steps over him and grabs a fistful of hair, pulling upward and bringing his other arm around to connect with clubbing blow after clubbing blow as Kyle is now busted open and bleeding from the nose. After a few more connect, Eddie puts his foot on the back of O’Reilly’s head and delivers a Modified Curb Stomp. Kingston rolls Kyle onto his back now and delivers a stomp to the face, telling Kyle to get up before delivering another one. Kyle gets up on his elbows and spits in Eddie’s direction as Eddie goes for a boot to the face but Kyle rolls out of the way and scrambles behind him, locking his arms around the waist and delivering a Belly-to-Back Suplex that dumps the, “Mad King” directly on his head.
Kingston looks lifeless but Kyle, wanting to be sure, starts miming playing the Dragon Flute. As he does, suddenly the referee is pulled out of the ring. The culprit is seen to be The Miz as he and Bayley start arguing until Goldust clobbers her in the back of the head with what looks like a movie award, hearkening back to the assault at Rebellion. Kyle turns to see the commotion but as he does, he’s nearly cut in half by a Spear as Batista enters the ring!
Corey Graves: Yes! Batista is here to rescue us from these two losers!
Mauro Ranallo: Can we get some security out here or something?
Corey Graves: More like a janitor to help wipe up that trash in the ring.
The crowd is booing viciously as the, “Hollywood Animal” rolls out of the ring. Kyle is rolling around on the mat holding his stomach like he's trying to keep his guts inside. He sits up trying to breathe but doesn't realize that Eddie is back up. The Mad King isn't quit sure what happened but he's not about to ask questions with Kyle lined up right in his sight. He comes forward and giving him the Sliding D in the back of the head! O'Reilly is knocked out and the ref comes climbing back into the ring to make the count.
Tom Phillips: Not like this!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Eddie Kingston!
The crowd boos intensely as Batista and The Guild are backing their way up the ramp, smiling at their handiwork.
Tom Phillips: Kyle was this close to another main event victory and got absolutely screwed!
Mauro Ranallo: The Guild certainly getting their hands dirty tonight and they don’t care who knows about it!
Corey Graves: The, “Diabetic Dragon” has bitten off more than he can chew, if you ask me, and now he’s gotta live with it!
Eddie looks over and sees The Guild. As far as he';s concerned, he's done with those cats and decides to just celebrate his win. Bayley comes over to her steo bro holding the back of her head and checks on him while The Guild laugh their way to the back as the show fades out.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Kingston vs O'Reilly - Dresden
MJF vs Hogan - Fauche
Lee vs Rhodes, Danhausen vs Guerrero, Ciampa vs Batista - Danny
