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Post by mrleedles on Jan 1, 2023 14:13:20 GMT -6
With the ring seeming to heat on up, plenty of people claiming to be the rightful winner of the Royal Rumble match, how else could things get more intense? Well, why not have the arrival of THE single longest reigning UWF Television Champion in history, mister Trevor Lee! And of course, he isn't coming alone, as right by his side is none other than "The Butcher" Andy Williams.Not even five seconds after he has walked through the curtain, a microphone is placed in the hands of Trevor, who bears that sickening serpent's grin on his face, Andy motioning for his music to be cut.Trevor Lee: "Well, well, well, well, well, would ya' look at this? Seems like the Royal Rumble is finally upon us, folks! An' just like clockwork, look at all these people rushin' outta' the gate tryin' to make some false statements! Gosh, y'all really know how to warm a politician's heart, I tell ya' what!"Continuing to walk down the ramp, Lee looks around at those who have already made their claims...and with each person that his eyes dart towards, his smile seems to grow even more sick, deranged even, at the prospects placed before him...Trevor Lee: "However, an' I truly am sorry to burst all y'all's bubbles like this, buuuuut..."Trevor Lee stops by the end of the ramp, clasping his hands together for a moment, incidentally placing a death grip on the microphone he holds.Trevor Lee: "If we're gonna' face some facts o' life 'ere - oh, sorry mista' Mega-Star for stealin' the one thing o' actual recognition to ya' career so far - then why don't I go on ahead an' run down how each an' every person 'ere so far has FAILED to truly defeat me?"Letting his eyes wander once more, Trevor Lee settles first on...Trevor Lee: "I mean, who better to start off wit' than mista' Mega-Star himself? I mean, ya' had ya' chance at beatin' me, even gave ya' one heck o' an excuse given how I darn near bashed your already-wasted braincells out of that thick skull of yours with a steel chair-"Lee clears his throat.Trevor Lee: "But instead, ya' still lost to me in this roster's last chance to put an end to my reign o' terror!"Lee then smirks at Triple H, giving him not even a word of recognition beyond this.Trevor Lee: "So ya' got that, ya' got the star-crossed lovers between mista' Hollywood Big-Shot an' Type-Two Hype Zero ova' there, beat both o' them already."Lee's gaze then shifts once more, but as it falls onto the Intercontinental Champion, there is a visible look of disgust that even the most well-crafted of masks cannot hide, so instead he turns his gaze towards the OTHER person who he has not met yet...Trevor Lee: "An' then there's mista' Prodigy himself! Maxwell, I know that ya' probably...nah, I know better than that, I know that ya' do not give a damn about anythin' that I 'ave done or anythin' that I've said so far since it wasn't about yourself or stuff that ya' did 'fore signin' wit' the U-Dubya-Eff, but kid, I've gotta' give credit where it's due, outta' everyone in this match I've seen so far, I think ya' the closest that anyone has gotten to actually showin' themselves as a threat to my guar-an-teed success in this 'ere Royal Rumble match! Andy, give the kid a round o' applause for that one!"At his boss' command, Andy gives a golf clap Maxwell's way, but is cut off as Lee turns towards the cheap seats, having to squint his eyes at first, only for them to widen in recognition.Trevor Lee: "Wait a gosh darn second, could it be? Oh my stars, it is!"With his free hand, Lee frantically waves towards the balcony section of the arena.Trevor Lee: "MISTA' BUZZARD! I know that ya' way on up there right 'bout now, so I'm gonna' speak a bit louder so that ya' can hear me loud an' clear! How ya' doin' up wit' those fine folk there?"Taking a breath due to practically yelling that out into the microphone, Lee walks over towards the barricade closest to Leyton's location.Trevor Lee: "Gosh, feels like it was just yesterday that the two o' us were havin' ourselves that war o' ours over...well, over THIS-"With one swift motion, Lee unhooks the UWF Television Championship from around his waist and holds it high for all to see, ESPECIALLY Leyton Buzzard, before dropping it to his free shoulder.Trevor Lee:"Man, I shoulda' had ya' on my Christmas card list, what wit' how ya' gone an' helped me out so much? I mean, destroyin' that church an' blamin' the U-Dubya-Eff fans? That was phenomenal, simply phenomenal! Sent my approval ratins' soarin', an' really gave me the boost I needed to win that election! Heck, to H-E-double hockey stick wit' the Christmas card, I shoulda' gone an' sent ya' a fruit basket, maybe some wine wit' it! Woulda' made those nights ya' locked ya'self in ya' room to escape that dastardly Cody Rhodes a bit more fun, right? O' course I'm right, but listen, Leyton, just 'cause ya' acted as a rival to me all those months back, 'fore I became the single greatest U-Dubya-Eff Television Champion o' ALL TIME, that don't mean I'm gonna' take it easy on ya' in this 'ere Royal Rumble match!"Lee then turns, finally heading up the steel steps...Trevor Lee: "'Cause when I'm the last man standing, y'all know I'm gonna' be goin'..."Trevor Lee: "TOOOOOOOOOO THE MOOOOOOOOOON~!!!!!"
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Sam
Main Eventer
Posts: 221
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Post by Sam on Jan 2, 2023 15:49:59 GMT -6
As the Television Champion lowers his microphone the lights suddenly dim and strobe lights eminate from the stage...
LIFE IS A MYSTERY EVERYONE MUST STAND ALONE I HEAR YOU CALL MY NAME AND IT FEELS LIKE... HOME.
The crowd erupt as the beat to Madonna's 'Like A Prayer' pounds over the PA system and as the chorus begins out comes everyone's favourite plucky underdog, Grado!. The C.U.N.T's second in command makes his way onto the stage full of energy, he's strutting and jiving and getting the crowd dancing as well as some of the talent around ringside. Grado reaches into his signature bumbag and produces a microphone and the music fades leaving the crowd to sing along for a few bars before Grado raises the microphone to his lips.
Grado: Didn'y expect to see me here tonight, did ye's?!
The crowd roar as Grado points at the many men and women standing around ringside, up in the rafters and seemingly into the space in which Eddie Kingston hypothetically exists.
Naw... nobody expected Grado out here tonight because I'm the UWF Champion's best pal. And that's true, me and Shark Boy are brothers, brother. But that doesn'y mean that I don't have dreams of my own and my biggest dream of all is to win the Royal Rumble and main event Wrestlemania!.
The crowd get a 'GRAAAADO!, GRAAAADO!' chant going as Grado begins to walk down to ringside.
See, I have the same dream as all of you in the ring have. I have the same dream as all of these lovely people right here at ringside and all the people watching at home have and to most of you I'm about as likely to succeed as these people. The punters, the fans, the people that put the money in our bank accounts. See... some of you, namely MJF... Batista... you look at me, you look at this crowd and you look at them with disdain. You hate these people. You hate me. But see me?, I represent these people. I represent these people because let's face it... I could be sittin' where this guy is sittin' or where that woman is standing. I'm no built like Dave Batista, I've no got a silver spoon up my arse like you MJF. At the end of the day, I'm as big a fan of this business as any of the people in this arena... I shouldn't have made it, I should've still been in my maw's sittin' in my pyjamas watchin' at home but here I am, against all the odds, here I am and I tell ye whit, I'm makin' the best of it. And I've proved I should be here before, I held that Hardcore Championship for near enough a full year, I took on all comers and I earned my way to the top. But I've been away and I can hear the doubts all over again, I hear the shite from people like Batista all over again and so I'm takin' this Royal Rumble as the opportunity of to remind everybody of just who the fuck Grado is!
The crowd pop big for the potty mouthed Scotsman as he makes his way around ringside.
Because I'm lookin' around this ring and aye, some of you were around when Grado was making arenas around the world dance to Madonna back in the day. Batista was around for a couple of stints in between getting his Hollywood actin' career off the ground. An actin' career which by the way PALES in comparision to my panto run at the Pavillion in Glesga this year. Sold out run all Christmas long and everybody - all the fairy godmothers, all the elves, everybody said backstage to Grado they said... 'thanks for the house, brother'. You might've struck gold bein' in the Marvel films big man but I can assure you I was rackin' up Scottish BAFTA's while you were playing second fiddle to fuckin' Ja Rule.
Grado, almost entirely seriously stares down Batista from the ring apron before he walks around the ring and enters it at the opposite side.
Now I'm sure Triple H was around in some capacity and I'm sure I remember Kyle O'Reilly being in some tag team with some fish guy - gimmick infringement by the way - but I'm lookin' around me and I'm seein' a lot of fresh faces. I see a big machine like Rick Steiner's boy. I see boys that I helped break into the business moping about the rafters like a big mopey goth and I see guys like MJF who, just to frank, is a wee arsehole. A talented one at that but an arsehole all the same. I'm seein' all these people in here and all it's doin' gettin' me excited to get right in amongst it at the Royal Rumble and make the Wrestlemania main event an all C.U.N.T. affair, a main event for the ages, brother vs brother - the dream match everybody wants to see, Grado Vs Shark Boy. The irrestable force meets the immovable object, the mega powers explode all wrapped into one - and all it's gonnae take is for me to throw 29 other men over the top rope. Some will says it's impossible but they told me I'd never make it. Then they told me I'd never make it past the dark matches, the pre-show - then it was I wouldn't ever make it back, I was too out of shape, I was on the telly non-stop in Scotland, too busy. And yet, here we are. I make the impossible - possible and I'm gonnae make a right gid go of dain' it again.
Grado is suddenly cut off by the next up to the pass.
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Post by Jimmy Uso on Jan 3, 2023 1:06:16 GMT -6
The scene opens.. And before our eyes is corridor walkway. from the angle, UWF cams filming at.. It looks as if, we're seeing the hallway of some hotel complex. But before we can focus any more on the surroundings.. there's an interruption! An elevator arriving to the floor, to be exact. The doors to the elevator open up, an immediately following out.. Is Eddie Guerrero. Eddie walks forth with a grin on his face.. And a ' song in his heart'' as he starts to dart feet in a.. '' skipping- like dance motion'' as he sashes back and forth.. An apparent bunch of roses (a dozen to be exact), like he's carrying around a fencing foil (sword). Eddie hams up the stage, play-acting like Zorro.. Until he comes up upon his desired destination. Which is Room 432. Eddie stops dancing', checks out his clothes.. to make sure he's looking' spiffy. Before he raises a finger.. Pushes the doorbell ringer, then knocks a hand against the door. For a moment, there's no answer! Until, the door opens.. And...
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: MamaCita These pretty lovelies.. Are for you!
Rumble Hotel: Roses for me!? Why, thank you! That's the nicest thing.. I've ever receive-..
[Blinking his eyes wide open, after realizing.. He had presented the dozen roses to an unintended target.]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. [ Pulling back his arms, distancing the roses from the Rumble Hotel] You got me wrong, holmes! As... these lovely beauties right here, Aren't for you! But, for... Mi MamaCita!!
Rumble bellhop: [ Looking a bit sad] Oh well, I figured as much. [ shrugging shoulders] Like bellhops ever get any nice things, from hotel patrons,
[ At this point.. Eddie intended query, '' The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF''.. Eve comes into the picture.]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Oh, hey.. Eddie. [ smiling] Glad you're here!
[ Looking a bit put-off from his run-in with the Rumble bellhop.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Aye, Mami. Glad to be here too.. but..
[Nodding his head towards the Rumble bellhop.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: What's with the help?..
[Looking offended.]
Rumble bellhop: Well, excuse me... My Latin American friend. But, I think i think you've got '' the help '' part role.. Mixed up. [ Giving a snide look] All things considering.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Whoa, hey!!! [ Jumping back, pacing himself for a '' coming-to- blows '' battle] What' chu insinuating, mang!? You got a problem!
Rumble bellhop: Well I..
[ Playing Peacemaker..]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Alright, boys! Hold up the testosterone!!
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: But he started..
The Hellacious Heartbreaker|Eve: Enough! From the both of you..
[Eyeing down.. the two steamed hombres.]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Keep it cool, guys! I'll be right back!
[Eve departs from the scene, as Eddie and the bellhop engage in an intense stare down. After about forty-five seconds, with neither man blinking.. Eve arrives back to the two.]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Marty.. thank you so much, for your help with the video equipment. And please..
Handing off a twenty dollar bill to the bellhop.
The Hellacious Heartbreaker|Eve: Take this.
Rumble bellhop: Thank you, my lady. It has been a pleasure serving you. And please... [ Casting a glance at Eddie] Do ring down to the front desk.. If you'd like pest removal, for this uncouth gentleman.
[The bellhop turns away, and walks... As Eve quickly has to hold onto Eddie to keep things from getting ugly.]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Why.. that.. gringo loco estupido, goof! I ought-ta..
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Oh, Eddie.. shouldn't have!
Eve reaches hold of the roses, fixing Eddie's attention back on her.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Aye.. You like Mami!?
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: I love them, Eddie!
[Eddie smiles, growing back to his calm demeanor.]
The Hellacious heartbreaker|Eve: Now, let's.. Get inside.
[Eve steps in.. Then beckons for Eddie to join her. Latino Heat plays coy like a little puppy dog, before taking Eve up on the request.. And coming' inside.]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Now.. if you'd just hold on for a moment, I can get these into some water.
[Eve starts to walk off, but.. In a flash, Eddie moves in and gently locks Eve in a waist lock from behind.]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Aww, MamaCita! The flowers can wait, while we can get to loving'! [ Eddie smoothly starts kissing Eve about the neck]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Eddie, don't you ever calm down? [Smirking a little]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: In What language.. Would you like me to answer that in? Because, it'd be 'no' for each one.
Eve can't help but be flattered, as she and Eddie cuddle some.
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Eddie. I got to go.. Get these roses in a vase. Or whatever I can find.. To fill with water.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Oh, mami! Do you haft' to?
The Hellacious heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Yes Eddie. But I promise to be back... And then, we can get to that surprise... I had wanted us to do.
[Releasing hold of Eve.]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Oh, alright...
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Now, if you'll go and have a seat on the couch.. We can get to that Surprise... A whole Lot Sooner.
[Happily beaming] Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Aye.. Ye.. Ye! Si. To The couch, on the double!
[Eddie goes running off the couch, as Eve smiles fondly at Eddie while sniffing the roses, then walks off to her other task. It's not too long after.. That Eve returns. where she's met by a ' love-starved Latino Heat!]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Are we ready, to get down with the surprise now MamiCita!?
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Right, you are Eddie but, first... A little ambience, to set the mood. So dim the lights... won't you Eddie? [ Pointing towards a wall just over from Eddie's back, on the left side] The light switch.. Is right there over your left shoulder.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Alright!... [ Reaching for the switch, then dimming down the lights]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Ready, now.. Eddie?
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Oh, you know it... Eve!
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: Good!
At this point, Eve walks over to where Eddie is on the couch, but instead of what Eddie thinks is going to happen... Eve turns on the television, then starts up The VCR, playing the tape.
Viva La Raza| Eddie Guerrero: Aye, MamaCita! why, the teasel!?
[Growing concerned, not feeling Eve's loving' arms around him, nor his on her]
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve: [Snuggling up close to Eddie] Eddie, it pains me to see Batista acting so confident, that '' he's the best wrestler in the world.''
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: Batista!? He's got nothing' on me, MamaCita!
The Hellacious Heartbreaker|Eve: It sure looks like... Batista thinks, he can beat you.. Claims to be better than you also.
[This comment, fires Eddie Guerrero up so much, that he gets up from the couch and starts pacing about on his feet.]
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: You know, MamaCita?... I have tried and tried, to warn that man! And you see...? What L.A Knight problem is... when he goes an gets drunk on that L.A Beer! that... that... Molsen Ice! that L.A alcohol makes you believe crazy things, MamaCita! And obviously, it's made L.A Knight delusional, when it comes to him claiming to be '' The Best wrestler, In The World.'' When.. clearly... [ Pointing to himself] I'm best! And when L.A Knight and I meet... I will.. '' Prove Him Wrong!''
The L.A Knight segment ends... As clips of Kyle O' riley start-up. with Bayley claiming to be an ''M-V-P'' and a '' Franchise Player,'' but also show how badly Kyle was stuck out in his matches.. And in an attempt to pick up Bayley, from the UWF.
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: And Kyle O' Riley! He's no Franchise Player. He's got no skill with the ladies... He doesn't know Where to start!... The same as if, no.. the same as when.. I meet O' Riley in the Rumble match, I'm gonna to out-shine him, MamaCita! because.. To Me compared to Kyle O' Riley. It's just like the stars.. In the sky, mami! '' There Are Bright ones... Like Me! Latino Heat!'' Then '' There Are those... That Are Dim... Like Kyle!''
The Following clips are of '' The Animal''
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve Torres: Batista looks fierce, doesn't he Eddie?
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: [ Looking at Batista rampage from his 'vid' clips] All that snarling and growing... And the heavy the heavy breathing! See what happens.. What you inhale too much paint thinner and aerosol! can paint sprays..!? It leaves you a mess!.. And Batista is a very bleak case. All brawn, no brain left.. in that big, humongous skull of his. And just... As anything can get by Batista in intelligence, Latino Heat is going to blaze right through, '' The Animal!'' Hook or by Crook! Cheat two Win!
The last clip reel on the tape.. Is of '' The Grand Chubby Wee'' Grado. Rapping and talking a good game...
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: And this guy...... Rapping around, talking about nothing! Well.. I got a Rap for Grado. But it's a tragedy! just like, that Fairy tale Story! And it's........ '' When I take Grado down, La Russa Style! Not All the King's Men nor All The Queen's Men.. will be able to put that Humpty Dumpty, Back together again!''
The tape finishes playing, then adjust back... as The VCR goes to 'rewind'
The Hellacious Heartbreaker of UWF|Eve Torres: You know Eddie..... Now that that's done! I've got one more surprise for you........ So [ Calling Eddie over to the couch] Give me some... of that Latino Heat!
Viva La Raza|Eddie Guerrero: [ Looked totally jacked] Aye, MamaCita! you the boss!!
As the scene waits for someone else to respond back to Latino Heat.
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Sam
Main Eventer
Posts: 221
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Post by Sam on Jan 3, 2023 15:08:53 GMT -6
The arena is full of energy ahead of a typically stacked UWF show when suddenly...
GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
Glass shatters and the driving double bass pedals and Speed Metal guitars of Accept's 'Fast as a Shark' plays over the PA system and the crowd almost in unison leap to their feet in a frenzy. Before long our UWF Champion Shark Boy marches out onto the stage with the UWF title slung in one arm. He's all business and full of piss and vinegar as he wastes little time making his way down the ramp, a sea of baying fans at each side of the ramp reaching out for their hero as he does so. Shark Boy stomps up the ring steps and through the ropes into the ring before immediately heading to the top rope and throwing the UWF title into the air with one hand and throwing out the fin-salute with the other. Shark Boy repeats this at each corner of the ring to ever increasing response from a rabid crowd. Shark Boy signals for a microphone and is thrown one in short-stead by a ringside technician.
Shark Boy: Cut the damn music - it's the start of the road to Wrestlemania, the Royal Rumble and there's a damn shark with a microphone and I got somethin' to say right 'bout now!
The crowd roar as the music fades and Shark Boy looks around nodding his head - beginning the pace back and forth already as he raises the microphone to his mouth.
Now ya gotta give me a lil' time to calm myself but by cod, it's the Royal Rumble!... this time last year ol' Shark Boy was one of the thirty men in that Royal Rumble match - I fought tooth and nail, gave it everythin' I got but at the end of the day Shark Boy finished as runner up. Second place. Silver medal... and when it comes to the Royal Rumble second best might as well be dead last. And that was the start of it for ol' Shark Boy. Always comin' up second best - flashes of greatness, beatin' Sami Zayn at Wrestlemania but everythin' else?, title shots, King of The Ring?, second place, silver medal, nothin' to take home, no gold around my fishy waist. But then came Summerslam, a show down for the ages, Shark Boy vs CM Punk and that's where it all clicked for Shark Boy, a cod damn second comin' if ever I saw one and the ball started rollin', the wins started rackin' up and although it damn near tore the soul from my body, I took this, I defended this and I sent that big bastard Edge packin' back to bein' the family man he was supposed to be all along. I hate that bastard, I'll always hate that bastard but I wish him well in whatever comes next.
Shark Boy gets a cheer from the crowd for acknowledging his former rival.
Now I've had a few hits to the head, a few concussions here and there but when I think back on the Royal Rumble... I remember Tommaso Ciampa whippin' some serious bass. He might've played foul, he had that big son of a fish Wardlow with him, but I knew right then and there that somewhere down the road our paths would cross. He had a shell of a run as Intercontinental Champion. Hellacious matches week in week out, held the belt for a damn long time and now he's moving up the card. I saw what he did at Slammiversary and it wasn't no mean feat beatin' three other men to earn this shot but he did it. He found his guru in Diamond Dallas Page too, a shell of a competitor in his day and I just can't help but stand here and commend that - if anyone knows about paying dues it's ol' Shark Boy. And for workin' his way up, figurin' things out?, I respect Tommaso Ciampa shrimp-load.
Shark Boy nods his head as the crowd cheer for both men.
Now that I'm doin' kissin' his damn bass - I guess it's time to talk about whippin' it!. See I could stand here and give ol' Tommy boy his roses because he's came up the hard way just like ol' Shark Boy but I'll be damned if I'm ready to step aside for the next big thing here in the UWF. But here's the thing, I know Ciampa wouldn't have it any other way. He ain't like Edge, he ain't gon' try and take the mask, he ain't gon' try and mess with my head, try and get under my skin, nah, he's gon' come out here - he might bring DDP with him for a lil' spiritual guidance, but he's comin' out here to tell me how he's gon' whip my bass and take my title. Well let me tell ya Tommaso, before you come out here that just ain't how this is gon' play out - EH-EH!. The way Shark Boy sees it, you've been workin' up to this moment your entire career, twenty plus years no doubt but I've been in your position and I shook that monkey off my back and maybe with the gold and the glory comes a little bit of greed but I ain't fixin' on droppin' this here UWF Championship any time soon, not to you, not to anybody!.
Shark Boy's first run as UWF Champion lasted less than a month, I dropped the ball when it was handed to me and I ain't gon' do it again. I came back here not to win titles, not to win the adulation of the people, not to spike the damn ratings... but to cement my legacy. I've beaten the best this company has to offer, I've unleashed the inner shark to send Edge packing, now it's time to go down in history as one of the most fighting and the single most bad-bass champions this company has ever seen and that means takin' on the next big star. That means beating the toughest challengers, the guys hungry for the spot I had to scratch and claw for and most of all that means whippin' every sorry son of a fish that steps between these ropes and tries to take this.
Shark Boy holds up the UWF Championship as he looks into the hard camera.
You've worked hard Tommy boy, you were a shell of a damn Intercontinental Champion but this is the big leagues, this is the big time, this is as big as it gets and you're comin' into the ring not with the underdog who couldn't quite get it done... you're comin' into the shark's lair and at the Royal Rumble?, I'm fixin' to drown your bass just like Punk, just like Edge and just like any other sorry son of a fish that steps to the toughest son of a fish in the UWF. At Royal Rumble, it's sink or swim for the 'Psycho Killer', qu'est-ce que c'est? - it means it's time to meet the toughest fight of your life because I ain't done bein' champ, not by a long shot - and as much I respect you, I admire you - I wanna make it abundetnaly clear that at the Royal Rumble?, your bass belongs to Shark Boy AND THAT'S THE FISHIN LIIINE -
Shark Boy goes to speak but is suddenly interrupted...
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Post by Dres on Jan 5, 2023 9:11:23 GMT -6
Batista looks around at everyone that’s come out since he first spoke as he raises his microphone again.”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Ya know, when I call myself the most talented man on the roster, it carries weight and I believe in it but it isn’t until I’m in the presence of so many of you that it really dawns on me and really resonates. I stick out like a sore thumb because I really am the best UWF has to offer. You guys, well, you wouldn’t even be extras in Hollywood. But here in the UWF, that’s exactly what you are. See Shark Boy is the man to beat for the UWF Championship, Danhausen is the man to beat for the Intercontinental Championship, Trevor Lee is the man to beat for the Television Championship, but I’m the man to beat if you want to win the Royal Rumble. See, every year everyone comes into this with their preconceived notions that they’re going to be the one to punch that ticket but this isn’t a preconceived notion. Hell, it might as well be in the script because at Wrestlemania, I’m going to be the leading man of the show. I’m going to challenge for the UWF Championship and add another title to my collection.
So Grado, you can stop fantasizing about the battle of the ass buddies in C.U.N.T. happening because it’s not going to. You want to remind everyone who the fuck you are? You’re the kid from Goonies as far as I can tell, so why don’t you “Truffle Shuffle” your ass back to catering where you aren’t biting off more than you can chew? But it’s not just you that’s in over their head, because we’ve also got a man I just mentioned, Trevor Lee. Listen up you Kentucky Fried Douchebag, I don’t give a damn that you’re the longest reigning Television Champion and I certainly don’t give a damn about the, “Horror King” Vinny Marseglia giving you an endorsement. I’ll do the same thing to you that I did to him in last year’s Rumble and toss your ass from the ring effortlessly!
As for Eddie Kingston, fuck you, that’s all there is to say to you, you piece of shit. All you’re doing by agreeing to participate in this match is signing up to be outshined again by the, “Hollywood Animal”. And then there’s Danhausen who’s keeping the Intercontinental Championship warm for me. I beat your ass last Wrestlemania, freak show, are we going to make it two years in a row? Bronson, fuck you. Leyton, fuck you too. Now there’s MJF. You must’ve fashioned that scarf out of the couch Kyle’s Granna gets railed on every night because it looks like something out of at least the seventies. You call yourself the, “Salt of the Earth” and yeah you’re a salty little prick that supposedly is God’s gift to wrestling but every time you pick up a microphone, I’m not impressed. I don’t get blown away. Because you aren’t even a fraction of the star you think you are, and I’m going to prove it, just like I’m going to prove it against LA Knight.
It takes a lot of fucking gall to come into this business, not just this company, but this business unproven and share the same air as someone like me and call yourself a megastar. I’ve been all over the world, I’ve won more titles than you can shake your finger at, and my cash flow from decades of blood, sweat, and tears is immeasurable. What have you done? What will you do? Because even if the other twenty-eight are gone by the time you come out or what have you, there’s still me, and you aren’t getting past me.
See last year could’ve been my moment but I wasn’t ready. This year it’s a whole different story. It’s time to kick ass like I’ve never kicked ass before and win the Royal Rumble and go on to Wrestlemania and finally, finally hold a world title here in the UWF. None of you are standing in the way of that because when you do, your ass is going over the ropes.
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Post by willybounce on Jan 5, 2023 15:25:37 GMT -6
" “I Am Danger” begins to blast through the pa system as the crowd grow to their feet to hear a different theme song than usual as they are already energetic from all the action in the ring. Everybody turns their attention to the entrance ramp to watch Finn Balor walk out onto the stage. Finn Balor walks out onto the stage in his blue leather jacket and blue trunks and quickly embraces the crowd as he walks out. The lights begin to flash, making the crowd go wild. Finn Balor times his theme song perfectly and taunts the crowd as the lights flash. The lights then return to normal and Finn Balor locks his eyes on the competition that is in the ring. Finn Balor You know what’s my favorite part of the Royal Rumble Match, that surprise element. That same surprise element that makes guys like me stars. All of you in the ring may have been here for years. You could put in the blood sweat and tears but when it comes to this match there is no strategy, there is no advantage. That’s why I’m still trying to understand why Batista feels as though he is the final boss of the Royal Rumble. I get it, you may have run through this roster before, but it’s now time for you to recognize that you’re dealing with The Prince. You may have been in movies but don’t worry I’ll send you home quick enough to shoot the rest of your movie scenes. If there’s anybody that you need to worry about, it's not Kingston or that freak with the face paint, it’s me.While speaking Finn Balor had made his way closer to the ring and could finally see everybody in the ring and turned his attentions straight to Danhausen Finn Balor Who the hell are you? and who did you beat for that championship? Is this what this company came to? It’s a damn shame. Look whoever you are you might as well don’t even show up cause I promise you, you’re wasting your time. Finn Balor then turns his attention to Buzzard for a moment and laughs. Finn Balor Oh nice a stoner, you might as take that night off too.Balor turns his attention to Triple H and Bronson Steiner Finn Balor It’s good to see nothing has changed Hunter, you’re still trying to feed off of others' success. But this has got to be the biggest flop since that stupid scarf that MJF wears. If you think for one second because this man is a steiner and he’s gonna end up just like his father, a worthless bodybuilding nobody. Then we have everybody's favorite diabetic sorry this isn’t the match for you, only the strong survive around here.Balor then turns his attentions to the Mad King, Eddie Kingston. Finn Balor Eddie Kingston, you talk like you're untouchable, you talk like you’re the baddest man around here. You think that O'reilly is your only problem, you've got another thing coming because The Mad King has never met The Prince.Balor then rolls into the ring and joins the fold as he says his last words. Finn Balor There is nobody standing in this ring right now that can get rid of me and with me being in this Royal Rumble, none of you will eliminate me. I will be victorious and stand tall above all other 29 competitors in that match, and if anybody in the back or in this ring has something to say about that, speak up.Balor then drops his microphone from his lips and waits for anybody to respond.
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Post by Cwalker on Jan 7, 2023 9:02:16 GMT -6
As Balor finishes his monologue, the "Namer of Dummies" has to chime in.
LA Knight: So...you're a prince, huh? Well forgive me, your majesty when I say that I think you're full of crap. 'Ya been here long enough to have a cup of coffee and 'ya think that 'ya can just waltz into MY ring and win MY match? Ain't no way in hell that's going to happen, junior. But I will tell you what is going to happen. At the Royal Rumble, L...A....Knight is going to whip you from pillar to post; grab you by those Fruit of the Looms that you're wearing and toss your ass out of this ring so fast you'll fly back to the Tokyo Dome. You should've waited a little while longer to get your start, kid. Because now you're just another case of wrong place, wrong time, and you're going up against the wrong guy. The Rumble isn't meant for a Prince; it's meant for a Knight.
Knight takes his attention from Balor and turns it to the one man that spoke before him, Batista.
LA Knight: Bravo, Davey Boy! Bravo! I didn't think 'ya actually had it in 'ya. 'Ya have actually convinced yourself that 'ya are going to win this match. 'Ya come out here and put on this great performance, proclaiming you're the most talented man on the roster. "Ya say and 'ya think that you're the favorite to headline WrestleMania and you're the favorite to wrestle that World Championship away from Shark Boy. And I must say Davey, it is quite an act. Who would have ever thought, Dave Bautista is actually a good actor. Having seen some of your movies, that's a plot twist I wasn't prepared for.
LA Knight: But that's the thing, Dave. It's all just an act. Maybe the slow people at home buy into it. Maybe those two morons that follow you around buy into it. But L...A....Knight sees right through you. For all the bravado and all the ego stroking, all you are is an insecure little man in a suit, trying to do the same thing Dwayne did 20 years ago. And look at 'ya; 'ya failing miserably.
LA Knight: But, I got to admit that 'ya got me when 'ya said that 'ya have won more titles then I have, 'Ya been in a lot more big matches and 'ya have been in a lot more main events, But in my defense Davey boy, 'ya have been wrestling for like 100 years now. It's not really fair to me that 'ya got so much of a head start. I hope when I'm 165 years old, I look just as good as 'ya do.
LA Knight: All jokes aside Batista, I don't care that you think this is your moment. I KNOW this is mine! I don't care how big you are or how ready you think you are. When it comes to the big moment, we all know Batista is a habitual failure. And this time will be no different. I just hope that 'ya Razzie-award winning ass isn't gone by the time L...A....Knight steps foot in the ring, This way, I can have the honor of eliminating 'ya myself. Just like last year, 'ya will choke in the big moment. While L...A...Knight rises to the occasion.
Knight looks away from Batista and scans the ring that has gotten crowded pretty quickly.
LA Knight: Speaking of rising to the occasion...hey, Bayley. You definitely get a rise out of me. YEAH!
Needless to say Bayley, and well pretty much everyone else is disgusted.
LA Knight: The problem is, your loser brother over here is making threats that he can't possibly back up. But I guess that's Kyle O'Reilly for 'ya. "Ya talk a big game, but I got to be honest with 'ya, I ain't impressed. I mean...'ya couldn't even beat that big dummy...
Knight points back to Batista
LA Knight: If 'ya couldn't even do that right, what makes 'ya think I'm sweating 'ya? News flash kid, I'm not. As far as L...A....Knight is concerned, 'ya just a seat filler. You're just here to take up a spot. But 'ya should be used to that by now. It's the story of 'ya life. Kyle O'Reilly; always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
And just like that, LA Knight dismisses Kyle O'Reilly. A man that probably can kick his fucking head off. Knight continues to look around the ring, til he sees someone that draws his ire, He walks right to this man and stares him dead in the eye. That man...is UWF Television Champion, Trevor Lee.
LA Knight: Let's make one thing perfectly clear, 'ya no good hick. You never beat me. Even on 'ya best day and on my worst day, 'ya could never beat me. The only reason 'ya still have that shiny little title is because your inbred father/brother/cousin/uncle whatever he is to 'ya, stuck his nose in L...A....Knight business. And trust me when I tell 'ya, I haven't forgotten. But instead of harping on it, I decided to level up a little bit. I beat that clown...
Knight points to Danhausen.
LA Knight: There's a Rated R has been that will be out here shortly. Former World Champion; I beat him too. And this week, L...A....Knight is going to take the current World Champion and show him who the real big kahuna is. And 'ya know what I'm going to do, Lee? I'm going to take all that momentum, use it to win the Royal Rumble and leave the Main Event of WrestleMania as the brand new UWF Champion. So congratulations on your little achievement, but what I have in store will take me much farther than the moon.
LA Knight: As for the rest of you, if you weren't acknowledged, it's because you simply don't matter. That's not an insult; that's a fact of life.
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Post by mrleedles on Jan 9, 2023 0:48:12 GMT -6
As soon as LA Knight has finished speaking his mind, a loud guffaw comes from the corner of the ring, where Mister Trevor Lee had been patiently waiting while his opposition came out of the woodworks to say their piece. Having been leaning in the buckle, Lee looks for a moment, ensuring he has the attention of the ring, before continuing to laugh, pointing at LA Knight for a few moments, before his eyes close from letting out such a long, drawn-out cackle, his arm lowering after a few moments of keeping it steady.Raising the microphone up once more, Lee would open his eyes, and train them first and foremost on the man who earned said heehaws from the TV Champion, wiping a tear from his eye before doing so.Trevor Lee: "Aw, man...mista' Megastar, ya' really should consider switchin' career paths to a comedian, ya' know, case this whole professional 'rasslin thin' just don't work out for ya'. I mean really, wha'cha just said right there, that was some grade-A material, a real great stand-up bit, complete with a top notch punchline! I mean, do ya' seriously think that ya' got a snowball's chance in H-E-double hockey sticks o' winnin' this 'ere Royal Rumble match?! That's cute, heck, I'd even go as far as to say it's downright adorable, hearin' ya' talkin' an' prancin' like this is some sorta' beauty pageant!"Stopping in his tracks, Lee wags his finger towards LA Knight.Trevor Lee: "Actually, nah, nah nah nah nah nah, nah, more like the drama kid tryin' to recite some good ol' Billy Shakespeare at the elementary school's talent show, what wit' all the fancy-schmancy big words an' all that me-ta-phor-i-cal junk that sounds like it belongs over on mista' O'Reilly's Tumblr blog. But all them words, mista' Megastar, they don't mean jack, son. I'm sure that ya' smart 'nuff to figure that out by ya'self, but just so we are one hundred percent clear 'ere, I don't care wha'cha think 'bout the long-term friendship that me an' my best pal Andy share, or 'bout what excuses ya' got to throw on out there, ya' wanna' know what I care 'bout? I care 'bout how I'm the guy standin' 'ere wit' the U-Dubya-Eff Television Championship, an' you ain't, so simmer down there partner, 'fore ya' go an' make a real dummy outta' ya'self."With that "advice" given, Lee would turn his attention towards Grado, before having to turn around and see Danhausen on the opposite side of him. Seeming unsure who to give the attention to more, he settles on the one currently in the ring.Trevor Lee: "I mean, Lord knows we already got these two chuckleheads out 'ere makin' the rest o' us actual 'rasslers lookin' a heck o' a lot more professional in comparison. I mean really, all we're missin' is for mista' Buzzard to get off o' his perch an' we could 'ave ourselves a remake o' the three stooges!"This, however, brings Lee's attention elsewhere, as he turns to the center of the ring, facing The Hollywood Animal.Trevor Lee: "Or maybe that's already in the works as the next big script for ya' to fill in, mista' Bigshot? I mean, we all know that Mikey boy ain't nothin' but a joke nowadays, an' I'm pretty sure that Goldust is one or two more nights workin' for ya' away from makin' his next appearance one o' those classic black-an'-white motion pictures, if ya' catch my drift."With his jokes seeming to be done and over with, though, Lee would motion around the whole ring, spinning in a circle to give a look to everyone who has appeared so far.Trevor Lee: "But 'ey, look folks, it ain't all bad. Sure ya' might 'ave a couple o' fellas 'ere that got 'bout as much success on their plate as our good pal mista' Kingston when it comes to championship matches, but there's a few fine stars 'ere. I mean, ya' got Finn Balor over 'ere, even if he's actin' like a royal embarrassment right 'bout now, an' heck, ya' even got Bronson Steiner over there if he ever makes it to the ring in the first place!"Giving a side-eye to Maxwell, Lee would approach him, a smile on his face as he fishes out a fifty dollar bill from the pocket of his vest.Trevor Lee: "Speakin' o' that, mista' Prodigy, why don't you an' I make a bet? I got fifty big ones right 'ere that some other schmuck comes on out 'ere 'fore mista' Son-O'-A-Pump gets 'emself into the ring. Ya' wanna' take that bet? Or do ya' need to go ask ya' daddy over there for permission to access that big ol' bank account o' yours?"With one final venomous grin, Lee would then take center stage away from Batista, putting his money away in the process.Trevor Lee: "Ah, folks, ya' know I like to joke 'round a lil' bit, especially when these people make it so gosh darn easy, but to be serious for a moment..."Lee's face falls into a serious scowl.Trevor Lee: "I am goin' to really enjoy bein' part o' my first Royal Rumble match...'cause by the end o' the night, not only am I goin' to be able to look back on this 'ere match as the greatest form o' stress relief in my life, bein' able to freely chuck body after body after body over that there top rope, but I'm goin' to be standin' tall as the guar-an-teed headline attraction o' the U-Dubya-Eff, an' soon enough? All ya' record books will tell the tale 'bout how lil' ol' Trevor Lee snatched that World Title an' brought it, an' this whole gosh darn company, TOOOOO THE-"Before Lee can finish, however...
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Jye
Freelance Writer
Posts: 530
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Post by Jye on Jan 9, 2023 15:28:49 GMT -6
The crowd cheer as Buzzard raises the microphone to his lips and nothing comes out, The tomato juices cover the microphone causing the electronics to bust, Buzzard calls angrily as a "raft?" staffer brings him a brand new microphone as the crowd boo at the handing of the microphone as they begin to chant "fire him"...
THE RAFTERS... Because thats where the winner of the Rumble is and your uncrowned UWF Television Champion might I add also these THINGS destroyed UWF property, I mean I had to get a new microphone I think I should sue each and every--
"Fire him" chants from the crowd STILL chanted at the man who handed the microphone to Buzzard get louder as Buzzard can take it no longer
SHUT UP!.
The crowd dont let up but Buzzard's new microphone has a slider to increase his obnoxious voice...
You THINGS will never get to my mental state I have won this match mentally and I finally can prove the CONSPIRACY against Leyton Buzzard since day one I have always had mysteriously come up short. I let these THINGS lead me to believe it was because I lacked the passion so with their "wave" of toxicity behind me I didn't see how they'd force me to wipe out. Lee you can act all chummy with good ol' Leyton because we both know you were right about one thing these THINGS suck but don't forget you're walking around with gold that belongs to El Capitan Leyton Buzzard. Now to Mr hasn't touched a carb since the year two thousand the best you've come up with as an insult for THE generational talent that is Leyton Buzzard is "stoner" I mean I am not a bum like the man that tried and failed to steal my spotlight while I was enlightening myself to what these THINGS truly are...
The crowds decibels of booing begin to over power but Buzzard begins screaming into the microphone to keep ahead of these THINGS...
Now Knight what I said does ring true your words you've come out and spoke I didn't realize how substance over brain you really are. Maybe you're too arrogant or you just are bit hard of hearing but Buzzard is going to send you packing, Ye--
Buzzard gets distracted as the crowd chant as he waits a moment before continue as his blood begins to boil in frustration...
Batista a man of very few words, I have some words deep from the heart for you as well from every poor unfortunate soul forced to watch any soulless straight to streaming movie you've "starred" in as goes "Fuck you. You talent-less hack"
"Stuber" chants begin to fill the arena as Leyton's expression goes from joy at what he thought would be a great joy gets soured by the audience in attendance...
STUBER was a stupid movie! Almost stupid as stupid as Grado looks while dancing his way to the ring. I mean I might have to come down to the ring and look each and everyone of you in the eyes just to make sure you get it through your thick skulls that there is no reason to try when the outcome is per-determined and that is with Leyton Buzzard raising his arm in victory with a one way ticket to Wrestlemania for his deserved World title victory, and while I journey to Mania I may as well elevate the Television Title to the main event as I beat Lee to prove that he is only holding that title because of the CONSP --
"Oh Buzzard's a wanker" pipe up as they cut off the uncrowned champions train of thought. Buzzard looks ready for another tantrum but quickly composes himself
IT'S A CONSPIRACY AGAINST L---
Buzzard stomps his feet as he is interrupted again by...
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Xander
Freelance Writer
Posts: 128
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Post by Xander on Jan 9, 2023 18:40:59 GMT -6
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: For the love of god I’ve listened to you buffoons talk enough.
All the men in the ring look a bit offended as MJF walks out of the corner.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Shut up, daddy has something to say. My god, the stupidity I have subjected myself to in the last few minutes. Just sitting here and listening to each of you go on and on. You know when I was making my demands to EC3 with my contract, I was just in awe of the fact that he agreed to them all. I got the money I wanted, the accommodations, my own dressing room. And in the back of my mind I thought to myself…damn I’m good but he’s not putting up even a bit of a fight here. Now I get it, now I look out to the landscape of UWF.
MJF waves hush and in every direction that there is a competitor in the ring, outside the ring, in the rafters or on the screen.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: No wonder he was more desperate than a fifteen year old fumbling with his zipper hoping to get the fat chick in class to stuff his twinkie in her mouth at some party. What the hell am I looking at? Batista, geez man, just because you call yourself “Hollywood” and you put yourself in a bargain bin suit with some fake oakleys…we are supposed to think you are some kind of big time star? I mean I’m sorry, but when it comes to Hollywood I’m sure some child actor on a c tier sitcom is probably a bigger name than you in the mainstream, probably a better actor too. Hell, my first movie hasn’t even come out yet and I already have more Hollywood cred than you.
MJF smirks looking back at Mr. Regal who also seems amused.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: And then we’ve got little boy buzzard up in the rafters trying to jump around until his balls finally drop. Didn’t I beat you within an inch of your life only a few weeks ago? Haven’t your proven enough that you have no place in this ring? I mean since you are up there, do the industry a favor and probably some of your family. Take that jacket, wrap it around your neck and that metal handrail….THEN JUMP!
The fans gasp, there’s a lot of shocked look from the competitors at hearing that from MJF who doesn’t lose stride and continues to strut around the ring.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: I’m sure I could talk about how sad it is that this inbred excuse for a wrestler over here actually holds a championship in UWF.
MJF looks over at Trevor Lee.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: I look at you Trevor, that face, those teeth, that chest and all I can do is pray to the good lord above that he would let me travel back in time. I would travel back and convince your mom that she should at least make that farm goat wear a rubber before she let him mount her, that way we wouldn’t have to deal with you years later. I know you think you sound smarter than you really are. And know you think it’ll be one heck of a match with a hootin’ and a hollerin’. Well whoop de doo maybe if you win you’ll take a victory lap in the crick out back. But what’s more likely to happen is I dumb you on your damn head so heard you start speaking like your IQ isn’t in the single digits.
MJF continues to pace around the ring looking at each and every competitor there, until he walks right up to LA Knight. They stand pretty much face to face and there is a moment where they stare into each others eyes. And MJF smiles a bit.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: LA Knight as I look around everyone else, I’m a bit drawn to you. I think a lot of people see us kind as kindred spirits. I’m sure they look at a guy like me and a guy like you and they say “hey I bet they get along. I bet when the Rumble happens they are going to help each other out.” Those people would be wrong because I wouldn’t be caught dead helping out a Ken Doll reject like you for even a second. You can talk about how you are going to beat the lucky charms leprechaun over there. Or how you might smack around the clown prince schmuck, which by the way it makes me want to puke to know you hold the second highest title in this company Danhausen. But we are talking about you Knight, you talk all that game to these guys. But there’s no way in that thick plastic skull of yours that you think you stand a chance against the once in a lifetime talent that is MJF.
Knight looks like he might want to hit MJF, but MJF just chuckles to himself and walks back towards Mr. Regal.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: I hope you are all enjoying yourselves right now. I truly do, because when the Rumble is over and I’ve won, I’m going to become UWF champion. And when this company finally has a champion it can be proud of, I’m going to start cleaning house. There’s going to be some new competition around here, better competition. So take these final moments to enjoy this clown car UWF because by the looks of it a year from now most of you won’t be able to afford a ticket in the stands, let alone have a place in this ring for MY COMPANY.
With that MJF goes back into the corner and starts talking to Mr. Regal. They are going back and forth about something, but the microphone is down so no one can hear what’s being said.
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