Post by Danny on Jan 12, 2023 18:03:11 GMT -6
We head to the arena where the pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello everyone and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Tom Phillips: It's another big night as uaual, highlight by tonight's main event. LA Knight taking on the UWF Champion Shark Boy
Corey Graves: Hopefully we see that masked maniac get put in his place.
Mauro Ranallo: He may be a masked maniac but he's a certified legend in UWF. But speaking of legends, Edge will be going one on one with MJF later tonight.
Corey Graves: The kid just signed but I think you might be right.
Tom Phillips: Plus it's a battle of the Eddie's as Eddie Kingston takes on Eddie Guerrero
Corey Graves: Ugh but at least we'll get to see The Butcher knock some sense into Cody Rhodes.
Mauro Ranallo: And if that wasn't enough to wet your whistle, Leyton Buzzard goes one on one with Danhausen!
Corey Graves: Why are you trying to kill my buzz Mauro? At least tonight we'll see the return of Finn Balor as he demolishes Hulk Hogan
Mauro Ranallo: But first, we have a very special segment coming up next, let's head down to the ring!
Things head to the ring where things are decked out with red carpet and nice chairs and a television screen hanging down. Standing in the ring dressed in a suit and sunglasses is The Miz as the fans are booing heavily.
The Miz: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most must-see talk show in the business. Welcome to Miz TV!
The fans continue to boo but Miz is still smiling, clearly unaffected by their hatred.
The Miz: It is Royal Rumble season and we all know what that means: thirty competitors enter, one competitor is left standing and that competitor goes on to Wrestlemania to challenge for the UWF Championship. Well my guest tonight is none other than the man that will be the competitor left standing! Ladies and gentlemen the Hollywood Champion and holder of the Prime Time Medal, the, “Hollywood Animal” Batista!
The boos continue as Miz gestures to the stage but when the titantron comes alive, a different theme starts playing.
Much to the UWF Universe- and especially The Miz's surprise, it isn't Batista's song, but Bayley's coming through the PA! More surprising still are the words flashing across the big screen...
~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~
DING DONG, HELLO!
~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Bayley doesn't come out to the music, though. Neither does Kyle. Instead, a gaggle of road crew members clad in anonymous black t-shirts rush down, their arms packed full of props. Wile the crowd murmurs in confusion, said roadies clamor into the squared circle and start putting a brand new set, recklessly pushing all the Miz TV stuff aside to make room for the Ding Dong, Hello! things.
Of course, Miz is irate about all of this. Once the initial shock wears off, he loses his mind, chasing the crew members out of the ring and chastising them for ruining his show. By the time the last of them is sent scurrying back up the ramp, the ring is a mess. It's like a Frankenstein's monster of two different ideas smashed together with extreme prejudice. Half-Miz TV, half-Ding Dong, Hello. Miz is gawking at the carnage, not quite sure how to proceed now when suddenly, the big white door swings open!
The fans pop big when Bayley steps through outta nowhere like she's doing that magic trick from The Prestige! She's all smiles and sunshine while The Miz looks mortified about the interruption.
Bayley: Helllllllllo and welcome to the hottest talk-show on TV today - the Ding Dong, Hello! show!
Again, the "Good Guy" garners a massive wave of cheers from the crowd who are just thrilled to be watching anything besides the Miz's show. Bayley goes on, ripping off her rival host's intro monologue verbatim with a knowing smarm.
Bayley: It is Royal Rumble season and we all know what that means: thirty competitors enter, one competitor is left standing and that competitor goes on to Wrestlemania to challenge for the UWF Championship. Well my guest tonight is -
Before she can finish, the Miz finally cuts her off.
The Miz: Whoa whoa WHOA. I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but this isn’t going to fly. This is my time, my show: Miz TV!
Bayley: You should be used to this by now, but you’re wrong. This is Ding Dong, Hello!
The Miz: Miz TV!
Bayley: Ding Dong, Hello!
The Miz: MIZ TV!
Bayley: DING DONG, HELLO!
The two hosts are in one another’s face as their shouting match is suddenly interrupted by the titantron coming to life.
As, “See Me Shine” begins to play over the PA system, the man of multiple names and titles Batista comes walking out with a microphone in hand. As the music fades out, he raises the microphone up to his mouth.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Alright, cut the grade school playground bullshit because the, “Hollywood Animal” has arrived. It doesn’t matter if it’s Miz TV or Ding Dong, Hello quite frankly because trust me, this is going to go down as one of the most memorable and important segments in UWF history.
Bayley rolls her eyes.
Bayley: Humble as always, Big Dumb Dave, but something isn’t that ratings shatteringly watchable just because you…
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Trust me, you and Kyle, wherever he is, are going to remember tonight for the rest of your lives. Because I have some footage that’s going to be of interest to everyone, but namely the two of you. Watch closely.
Batista points up to the titantron screen as the camera pans to the footage that begins rolling. Granna O’Reilly is seen sitting next to Miguel in what appears to be their living room. On the television, PUMPED: The Story of the Little Dragon That Could is finishing up. Suddenly slow clapping is heard as Batista walks into the room.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Gets better every time you watch it, doesn’t it? Yeah, Kyle sure is something.
Granna starts cursing Batista in a different language as Miguel gets up and raises his fists.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Whoa now, I come in peace. I just wanted to talk about Kyle.
Miguel steps forward and throws a punch that lands square on Batista’s chest. He looks down and then back up at Miguel who is now backing away. Batista removes his sunglasses and folds them up, placing them in his suit pocket before he cocks back and delivers a punch to Miguel, dropping him easily. Batista reaches down and grabs him by the shirt with both hands and lifts him up, then turns and throws him into the dining room table as he slides across it, knocking everything off of it before landing on the floor on the other side. Batista now turns and looks at Granna who gets up and tries to run out of the room but he grabs her and puts her head between his legs before hoisting her up and putting her through the coffee table with a Batista Bomb. Batista stands up and dusts himself off, taking his sunglasses out and unfolding them before putting them back on.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Good talk.
Batista walks out of the shot as things fade to black and the camera pans down to Batista standing on the ramp with a big smile and laughter as Bayley looks absolutely beside herself in the ring. So distraught is she, in fact, that she doesn't even notice Miz sneaking up from behind. He catches he unawares, snapping on a full-nelson real quick then dropping The "Good Guy" with a Skull Crushing Finale! The Hollywood Animals smiles at the scene in the squared circle as he struts down to the ring.
Ranallo: There isn't a more appropriate moniker in all of sports than "The Hollywood Animal" because that's exactly how Batista behaved in that home movie! What a monster! What a diabolical, no good son of a gun!
Phillips: He's taken things way to far this time, and it doesn't look like he's finished yet.
Graves: We've seen plenty of home invasions in the past. This is how it's done at the top of the food chain. If Kyle can't handle that, then Batista is right in saying he doesn't belong in the ring with him. Big Dave is teaching the O'Reilly's a lesson they won't soon forget.
The fans are booing like it's going out of style as Batista climbs the steps and comes through the ropes. He orders Miz to pick Bayley up, looking like he's ready to deliver another Batista Bomb tonight. The Step-Sister is helpless to defend herself, but before The Hollywood Animal can get her up, another song hits the PA...
The roof damn near blows off the building when the crowd pops for LP's classic. Normally, Kyle grooves his way down to the tune of the music. Not tonight. The Diabetic Dragon bolts down the ramp at top speed, a pipe wrench in his hand. Where did he get that? Who knows. Probably picked it up on his way to Gorilla. Suffice it to say, Batista and Miz don't want any part of this maniac with a weapon in his hands. They hightail it out the ring and over the barricade on the floor just as soon as O'Reilly slides into the ring. He's screaming at them to get in there and fight him but Batista scoffs at the idea. Kyle's ready to chase after him, but sees Bayley is pretty beat up and kneels down to check on her instead.
Ranallo: Kyle O'Reilly just saved Bayley from taking a Batista Bomb, but there was nothing he could do to protect Granna and Miguel. That damage is already done.
Phillips: And boy, does he look pissed off about it.
While kneeling next to Bayley, Kyle spots a microphone. He picks it up and stands as his music cuts out. The screaming crowd quiets to hear what he has to say. Homie is practically frothing at the mouth as he addresses his nemesis.
KO'R: Batista... Batista... BAAAAAH-TIIIIIISSSTTAAAAAAAAAH~!!!!
He belts out the name like he's some kinda anime protagonist or something. They people love it. They vibe with his spirit of vengeance.
KO'R: You wanted to pick the stip for our rematch? Well guess what, idiot... you just... effing... did...
Kyle paces around the ring like he's got the rabies. He's read in the face and white in the knuckles. Batista and Miz exchange amused chuckles as they wait to hear what he has to say for himself.
KO'R: You don't wanna play by the rules? You don't wanna have any honour? You wanna live above the law? Fine. Let's do it your way. At the Royal Rumble, it's gonna be you and me - Batista versus Kyle O'Reilly one more time...
He comes to the edge of the ring to deliver the news emphatically.
KO'R: In ANARCHY RULEZ!
As is the fans couldn't get any louder. They go nuts for the prospect of seeing these killers tear each other to shreds. Batista scowls at Kyle, but nods, evidently accepting the challenge.
Ranallo: Mama Mia... Mama Mia... we haven't seen two men resort to this stipulation in the Revolution. This is a throw back to the olden days of the UWF. The wild west of this organization. The original green brand.
Phillips: As far as I can recall, that means that these two are going to fight until the wheels come off. The rules are that there are no rules. An extreme match with extreme prejudice.
Graves: Kyle isn't thinking clearly. He's just asking for trouble now and trust me, he's going to get it.
Ranallo: Bear in mind, Corey, that Batista only won at Slammiversary because the Referee disqualified O'Reilly. If the Diabetic Dragon takes things there this time, there's not going to be any stopping him now.
The medics rush down to help Bayley while Batista and Miz leave through the crowd. Kyle glares as he watches them go. Revolution continues elsewhere!
UWF continues to roll as the camera cuts to the locker room area where Finn Balor is seen getting ready for his match against Hulk Hogan. Renee Young walks in eager for an interview but Finn Balor really wasn’t in the mood.
Finn Balor
Can’t you see I’m getting ready do you think I have time to answer your little questions.
Renee Young
But the UWF universe is waiting to hear from the newest star. I’m sure you have a message to send as well.
Finn stops and thinks before answering Renee Young.
Finn Balor
You know what you’re right. Renee tonight is only the beginning of the destruction that I am about to cause here at UWF. Forget what you knew about Finn Balor before because the Prince is here to clean all of that up. I don’t care who thinks they're the biggest and the baddest around, forget it all cause this is now My Turf.
Finn Balor stops and takes the microphone from out of Renee Young’s hand as he focuses on the camera.
Finn Balor
This is a P.S.A to everyone in the back right now and to everyone sitting and watching from home. I'm coming for every person and I’m coming for every championship. I bet you’re thinking that I'm just being arrogant and cocky now, but the truth is I will go to the Royal Rumble match and win. Maybe then I’ll send Sharkboy back swimming and stand tall as The Prince of UWF.
Finn Balor
But that doesn’t mean that every other championship as well. One thing about the Prince: I'm a greedy guy. I want it all and I won’t stop until I get it all. Sami, don’t be surprised if my boys pop up looking for tag team gold.
Finn Balor laughs before turning his face back angry
Finn Balor
Now get out of here!
Renee Young then runs off after hearing the shout of Finn Balor. Leaving him to get ready for his match that is next up on UWF Revolution.
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare come out to a huge ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
With the sounds of Primus' "My Name Is Mud" playing through the arena speakers, out steps the resident butcher of Harlan, Kentucky, and the man who most say had a heavy hand in helping Trevor Lee become the UWF Television Champion. With a scowl on his face, he takes a moment to adjust his coat, before then walking down the ramp.
Tony Chimel: "From Harlan, Kentucky, weighing in at 273 lbs...he is 'The Butcher', Andy Williams!"
Without much fanfare, Williams makes his way into the ring, and it is there that some theatrics are done, with Williams duck-walking in a circle around the ring, before stopping right in the dead center of the ring. Taking off his monocle, he then moves to his corner, a hardened stare being sent across the ring.
VS 
DING DING DING
With the ring seeming all abuzz for this upcoming contest between "The Butcher" Andy Williams and Cody Rhodes, it seems as though it is time for the action to start, but...
THEN out comes one mister Trevor Lee, a smile on his face as he carries with him a microphone. Looking out towards the ring, he catches a readied glare from The Butcher, and gives his friend a wave before focusing back on The American Nightmare.
Trevor Lee: "Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, folks I get it, I truly do, y'all wanna' see this match jus' as much as I do. Truly, I understand ya' points o' view, but please, fine folk in attendance 'ere tonight, lemme' just clear somethin' up for y'all."
Taking a moment to wait for the boos to subside, Lee would motion towards the ring.
Trevor Lee: "Now mista' Nightmare, last week...ya' got me. I admit it, ya' got me quite good wit' that lil' Cross Rhodes trick o' yas', but let's face facts 'ere, when I call that a trick, that's all that it was. It was a trick, a bamboozle, a complete an' utter FLUKE, just like my loss to mista' Kingston, an' just like pretty much every single loss I 'ave allegedly suffered durin' my tenure 'ere in the U-Dubya-Eff. But that's in the past, an' tonight? Tonight I'm in the givin' spirit, so to speak. Ya' see, I reached a milestone I've been wantin' for a while, hittin' that record o' longest reignin' U-Dubya-Eff Television Champion O' ALL TIME...an' now? Now I got the Royal Rumble match to look forward to, so why don't I cut ya' a deal 'ere, mista' Nightmare?"
With the fans already sick and tired of Lee's ramblings, Lee pauses just to piss them off further, before continuing on.
Trevor Lee: "Ya' see, I am a busy, busy man, mista' Nightmare. What wit' my po-li-ti-cal as-pir-a-tions back at home, to the Royal Rumble match, I ain't exactly had 'nuff time to find me a challenger to my U-Dubya-Eff Television Title! After all, wit' me bein' champion, it is only fair if I win' up choosin' who I face, no? So 'ere's the deal, mista' Nightmare - if by some miracle, ya' beat my good frien' Andy in there tonight? Ya' get ya'self a shot at my Television Title. But if ya' don't? Well...I guess I'm just not defendin' at the Royal Rumble then, given how there's nobody else truly on my own level in this 'ere company. I mean, I beat pretty much everyone else who could get in my way, so why not try to be a bit generous to someone who ain't got a snowball's chance in Houston o' ever gettin' anywhere near my status as the single greatest Television Champion o' all time, an' soon enough, the single greatest U-Dubya-Eff WORLD Champion o' all time, once I win that there Rumble match, an' take that there World Title for my own sake! So anyways, mista' Nightmare, 'ave fun tryin' to beat Andy...an' Andy?"
Lee's smirk grows as he nods his head towards his friend, giving not another word before walking off, yet it seems The Butcher has heard him loud and clear. Unfortunately for him, Cody sneaks up behind him and bends him back to deliver the Cross Rhodes! Trevor Lee looks shocked, maybe not realizing that the bell had already rung or maybe just shocked to know that he was the reason Butcher wasn't paying attention to Cody. Rhodes ends up hooking both legs for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Cody Rhodes!
Tom Phillips: And it looks like Cody Rhodes will be facing Trevor Lee at the Royal Rumble for the Television Championship.
Mauro Ranallo: Based on how his last two matches involving him have gone, I like his chances!
Cody motions for the strap around his waist but Lee shakes his head, talking to himself as the show moves on.
We move backstage to an interview area where we see Kayla Braxton, seated in a very comfortable looking chair as she introduces us to her guest.
Kayla Braxton
Please welcome my guest at this time, former UWF Champion, Edge.
The camera switches over to Edge, who is seated in an equally comfortable looking chair and genuinely looks like he's in a great mood.
Edge
Thanks for having me Kayla, I told you I'd keep that promise. Plus, I really like what you've done atmosphere-wise. It's very cozy.
Kayla Braxton
Well, I'd like to start this week's interview with what I attempted to ask you about last week before your match. Ever since Slammiversary, it seems that Leyton Buzzard has been inexplicably drawn to you, even going so far as to come down to ringside during your match with LA Knight. How do you plan on handling these distractions from him moving forward?
Edge chuckles a bit before answering.
Edge
You know, distractions are a funny thing, what distracts one person won't even register for another. I'm sure Leyton thinks he's playing mind games, for what purpose I don't really know nor care, but in the end, he's just another wrestler on the roster to me. The only thing that attracts enemies in this business more than succeeding, is failing after success. Everyone wants to use you as a stepping stone at that point. You can go undefeated for months, attract only the best of the best, but that first loss? So many bottom feeders will come out of the woodwork looking for even a tiny morsel of relevance. So I'm not surprised that Buzzard is living up to that name, but honestly? Until EC3 decides to put us in the ring together, I don't really care what he does or says. There's bigger fish to fry this time of year.
Kayla Braxton
You're speaking of course about the upcoming Royal Rumble, which is said to be the start of the road to Wrestlemania. This year's event looks to be stacked, where not only do we have Shark Boy taking on Tommaso Ciampa for the UWF Championship, we also have the namesake match itself filling up with quality competitors. How do you think you match up with the rest of the competition thus far?
Edge
Honestly? A little nervous. Whether it's people who have been scratching and clawing for a way to the top all year, returning veterans like Spike Dudley, or new debuts like Finn Balor and Bronson Steiner, there's a lot of hunger in a match like the Rumble. But facing down 29 other superstars, with no idea where your number will fall? There's an endless amount of possibilities on how it'll all play out. It's daunting, stressful...and nerve-racking.
The camera cuts back to Kayla, who has a quizzical look on her face.
Kayla Braxton
So you're feeling... nervous heading into the Royal Rumble? Don't you think that puts you at a disadvantage?
There's a little chortle from off camera before it cuts back to Edge.
Edge
That's the thing about the Rumble. Deep down, everyone is nervous, anxious, unsure of how it'll play out. This match is chaos personified. You could be the best technical wrestler in the world, going up against someone who's never set foot inside a ring before in their life. No idea the difference between a wrist lock and a wrist watch. And the wrestler could be eliminated in 5 seconds flat and the rookie win the whole damn thing. The Rumble is like a game of Texas Hold'Em. As much skill as involved in that game to play it at the highest level, you're still beholden to luck at the end of the day. If luck decides you will not win today, you won't, no matter how well you play your hands. So being outwardly nervous doesn't put me at a disadvantage since it's something we're all feeling.
Kayla Braxton
Should you win the Rumble, you'll be waiting in the main event at Wrestlemania for the UWF Champion. Who do you want to be facing across from you come Wrestlemania: Tommaso Ciampa or Shark Boy?
Edge sits in silence for a moment as he ponders this question before shifting a little in his seat with his answer.
Edge
You know, I wouldn't really mind facing either of them. There's a familiarity with Shark Boy after going toe to toe on three separate Pay Per View matches. A fourth round, happening at the biggest event of the year would seem fitting for the hell we put each other through this year. I have no doubt he'll be a fighting champion and I could only hope that by the time Wrestlemania rolls around, he would see how serious I was about earning his respect. I think that would tie a neat little bow on this first full year back in the UWF full-time. However, I've honestly been a fan of Ciampa since I came back, the man had a death grip on that Intercontinental Championship, but didn't let losing it consume him. He kept working, improving, even reaching out to a legend in DDP to help him shore up his weaknesses. So him having earned a shot at the UWF Championship...honestly I was hoping to have won against Shark Boy because the thought of Edge versus Ciampa was very exciting to me, and it remains exciting. Ciampa personifies my idea of "raising the bar", of never settling in this business. But let me ask you something, Kayla, if you don't mind. Outside of those two, who's your dark horse candidate to walk into Mania as UWF Champion? There's still plenty of time between the Rumble and Mania for someone else to rocket into the main event and shock the world. So if you had to guess, who would you like to see walk into Wrestlemania as champion to face me should I win the Rumble?
Now it's Kayla's time to sit and think and after a few moments, the answer comes to her.
Kayla Braxton
Kyle O'Reilly. Both his presence backstage and in-ring prowess are straightforward and no nonsense, but he always seems to be surrounded by fun and interesting events. It would make for a very fun road to Wrestlemania. So who's your dark horse pick then?
Edge
Eddie...no not Guerrero, Kingston. Before I came back he was hovering around Seth Rollins and was taken out. Now he's back with a massive chip on his shoulder, I can see him stringing together the right performances to end up as UWF Champion before Mania. But no matter what, before Wrestlemania we've gotta get through the Royal Rumble first. And that's where my focus well and truly is right now.
Kayla Braxton
Well, that's all the time we've got for this interview, Edge I'd like to thank you for your time and I wish you good luck in your match tonight against MJF.
The scene cuts to a shot of Kayla and Edge, both still seated and chit-chatting off mic as the image starts to fade away and the action of Revolution continues.
Hulk Hogan's theme hits and he makes his way out to the ring with Jimmy Hart wearing his Hulkamania Rules t-shirt, yellow trunks, yellow boots, bandana on his head.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring from Venice Beach, California weighing 303 pounds accompanied by Jimmy Hart. He is The Real American Hulk Hogan.
The camera pans to the ring, where Finn Balor is already standing by.
Tony Chimel: "And already in the ring, from Bray, County Wicklow, Ireland, weighing in at 190 lbs, Finn Balor!"
DING DING DING
With the sound of the bell, it would be a classic big man versus small man matchup here on display for UWF Revolution, as "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan locks up in the center of the ring with Finn Balor. In a sheer showcase of power, Hogan would push Finn backwards, sending him tumbling into the corner, which Hulk would follow by giving the fans a glimpse of his physique.
Mauro Ranallo: "A display of pure power there from The Hulkster, sending Finn Balor clear across the ring!"
Tom Phillips: "Hulk looks to be putting those twenty four inch pythons to good use."
Corey Graves: "If only he had the smarts to match those muscles, though. Such a shame, million dollar body with a ten cent brain."
Even with Corey's snide remark, Hogan would still look to be in control as he brings his way over to the corner, pushing Balor back before ascending to the second rope. Holding his hand up high to the sky, Hulk begins raining down punches to the head of Balor!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
After that blow lands, however, Balor would be able to slip out from between The Hulkster's legs, leaving him on the second rope, and with that, The Prinxe capitalizes. Kicking the back of Hogan's knee, Hulk would crash down face-first on the top turnbuckle, dazing the icon, and right as he turns around, he would be met with a Shotgun Dropkick directly to the chest!
Corey Graves: "See what I mean? Playing to the crowd in this day and age is getting Hulk NOWHERE fast, especially after a beautiful dropkick from Finn Balor!"
Mauro Ranallo: "That John Woo kick from Finn Balor just knocked the wind right out of The Immortal!"
With a solid blow to the chest taking the wind out of him though, Hogan would be collapsed down onto the mat, giving Balor ample time to beat him down...but with each blow given, Hogan would start to rise, shaking in place, and with a few final shots delivered...
"YOU!"
Hogan gives the big point, and catches Balor's next swing, before delivering one of his own! And again! And again! Balor is backed to the ropes, and shot off...but the Big Boot is ducked! Hogan turns around, and it's straight into a Pele Kick from Finn! Stunned, Hogan is met with a swift kick to the gut, as Balor hooks the arm, lifts...and drops him straight on his head!
Corey Graves: "It may be Thursday, but it looks to be a Bloody Sunday for The Hulkster!"
Balor moves into the cover, Hogan unmoving...
.....ONE!
.....TWO!
.....THREE!
DING DING DING
Tony Chimel: "HERE IS YOUR WINNER, FINN BALOR!"
With Hulk Hogan having only just barely missed the count at a classic 3.1 kickout, he rolls out of the ring to be tended to by Jimmy Hart, leaving Balor alone to celebrate. With their arms outstretched, Balor would take a small lap around the ring, basking in the moment.
Tom Phillips: "What a big win here tonight for Finn Balor!"
Corey Graves: "Yeah, you guys can jump on the bandwagon now, but I called it that Finn had it in the bag tonight."
Mauro Ranallo: "Graves potentially being correct aside, what a huge win for Balor here in his UWF return, especially ahead of the Royal Rumble match!"
Tom Phillips: "Don't discount Hulk Hogan, though, he was starting to mount a serious comeback towards the end there. I'd still reckon both these guys could make a distinctive splash in that Rumble match."
With Balor taking to the top rope to celebrate, and Hogan powdering to the back with "The Mouth Of The South", the cameras linger on Finn for but a moment longer before turning elsewhere...
Revolution has been off the chain so far, producing quality as always. We decide to take a break from the ring where we see Renee Young standing by with a microphone in hand.
Renee Young: Ladies and Gentlemen, we cut from the ring right now as we have a special guest who has asked and been granted an interview with yours truly. My guest at this time is none other then everyone's favourite Uncle, Uncle Spike Dudley.
Spike walks into shot, all smiles as he looks in the zone. He smiles at Renee, giving her a nod before Renee continues.
Renee: You have requested this time as you have something on your mind Spike so I guess my first question is what is on your mind?
Spike Dudley: Renee, last time I was here, I thought the more words that came out of my mouth meant it was better. I would say alot without saying anything at all realy so I'm going to try and get straight to the point tonight. 2 weeks ago, I interrupted L.A Knight because he made some big claims and decided to tell the world how good he was. Last week, he managed to repay the favour by interrupting me and doing the exact same thing.
Spike pauses for a little bit, thinking over his return and what's transpired since. He looks at Renee, eye to eye and smiles at her again. Seemingly calm and poised, making Renee feel comfortable as well.
Spike Dudley: L.A Knight has caught my attention and last week after he interrupted me, I decided to buy myself a ticket and sit right out there with my nieces and nephews to watch if his hype around himself was real. I'll tell you right now Renee, I was more impressed with a man I admire in Edge. A man trying to find himself impressed me more then the guy that claims he is the Million Dollar Megastar. It seems Edge is on a path that I have been on plenty of times before and L.A Knight needed dirty tactics and help from Leyton Buzzard to win. I bought that ticket to watch Knight but I found my attention turning towards Edge and Buzzard. What does that say about everything that L.A Knight has said?
Spike looks at Renee, generally asking the question as she just shrugs her shoulders.
Spike: What it means Renee, is that I was not impressed by him at all last week. There was bits and pieces where I could definitely see what he was on about but overall picture, the way he won his match undone everything. Renee, what it means is I'm standing here thinking I can still beat him and what I plan to do is pull the Ultimate Underdog move at the Royal Rumble. You see, if you haven't heard by now, I have officially entered myself into the Royal Rumble but what I'm going to do right now is I'm going to issue a challenge to L.A Knight. I'm feeling like I want to perform Double Duty. Let's see how good L.A Knight really is so L.A Knight, if you are watching, I'm challenging you to a match at the Royal R.......
Like he was listening to the side and waiting for the right time, Spike is interrupted by the very man he was just speaking about.
LA Knight: Do my ears deceive me?
LA Knight: Hey runt, nice to see 'ya again. Now, let me talk to 'ya. A few weeks back, ''ya came on L...A....Knight's show and 'ya interrupted UWF's top draw. And for weeks, it bothered L...A....Knight. But then, it finally dawned on me, runt. 'Ya been seeking out ol' L...A...Knight for one reason. 'Ya keep talking about how 'ya got this itch to get back in the ring. Hell, 'ya even announced that 'ya would be taking part in the Royal Rumble Match. A match that will be won by yours truly, by the way. And now, 'ya challenging "The Million Dollar Megastar" to match at the Royal Rumble? Have 'ya lost what little brain cells 'ya had left?
LA Knight: Don't answer that; it's a rhetorical question. 'Ya see runt, like I said before, L...A....Knight didn't care for all 'ya talking and getting in my face at first. But then I realized, 'ya need me. And it makes perfect sense. I'm the star of the show. I'm the man that everybody pays to see. Not Shark Boy, not Batista and certainly not useless ass Spike Dudley. 'Ya wanna come back; 'ya want to be in the Rumble. 'Ya want the Underdog to complete the comeback of a lifetime and reach the top one more time. And 'ya wanna use L...A....Knight as 'ya catapult. I admire and understand what 'ya are attempting to do, runt. But it ain't gonna happen. The same thing is going to happen to you that happened to "the man you admire" in Edge. "Ya gonna get embarrassed. 'Ya really want to step foot in the ring with L...A....Knight at the Royal Rumble? Well....I accept!
The live audience pops for Knight accepting the challenge and the return of Spike Dudley to one on one competition.
LA Knight: And the reason I'm accepting this match runt is so that come Royal Rumble, I have not one, but two opportunities to humble 'ya. I get to beat 'ya ass early in the night and later on if I'm lucky enough, I get to throw 'ya over the top rope and send 'ya ass back to Dudleyville with the rest of the carnies. Then 'ya can sit on the arena floor and watch as I win the Royal Rumble Match, punch my ticket to WrestleMania and become your new World Heavyweight Champion. And after I win the Rumble runt, maybe I'll be in a giving mood. Maybe ol' L...A...Knight will buy 'ya a front row ticket to Mania. But only...and I mean only....if 'ya bring that long legged piece of tail Stacy with 'ya. Because we all know, that's the only real use 'ya have. And that's not an insult; that's a fact of life. See 'ya the Rumble, YEAH!
And just like that, LA Knight saunters off as revolution rolls on.
Chimel: The following contest is a non-title match and is set for one-fall!
Chimel: Introducing first, from Bristol, United Kingdom...."
Buzzard comes out from gorilla hands in the air as he mimics a spy glass, He searches the whole crowd before throwing his arms and moving forwards towards the ring...
Chimel: Leyton Buzzard!
Buzzard has his arms out high in the air taking in the atmosphere of the arena, Buzzard rolls his way into the ring where he rolls under, He places his body between top and middle rope as he taunts to the crowd, Buzzard takes a moment before going back to his corner...
He throws himself into the ropes as the crowd keep chanting "Who are you" at the UWF Stud...
Suddenly the lights start to darken and flicker...
Cheers begin to ring all around the arena as the music plays and Danhausen takes to the stage. After a couple of slow spins around the stage area, Danhausen then raises his arms and gives out a determined yell as the crowd pops in appreciation.
Chimel And his opponent, making his way to the ring, from Someplace Far Away, weighing at least 300lbs, the UWF Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen!!
Danhausen heads down the ramp, waving politely at some of the fanhausens in attendance before he hops up onto the apron and signals the nearby cameraman to get a close up shot of him. Danhausen then points directly into the camera lens and yells “Love That Danhausen!” before climbing through the middle rope and posing in the center of the ring with his arms held high once again.
Tony heads out of the ring and after ensuring both competitors are good to go, the Official calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING
The bell sounds and we're off to the races but Leyton doesn't look super eager to get close to Danhausen. That dude looks like he smells like spiders. Have you ever smelled a spider? Then you were probably too close to the spider, brah. Which is why Buzzard's trying to keep some distance. This is, however, a wrestling contest, so sooner or later, he's just gonna have to engage, innit?
Danhausen doesn't share in his reservations, and why he realizes that he's spooking his opponent out, he hams it up. The IC Champ creeps across the ring with hands outstretched with fingers wiggling like yucky little worms. Buzzard looks creeped the heck out. He complains to the Referee, but, unconventional as the Champion's tactics may be, the aren't illegal. Classic Danhausen, walking so close to that line without every crossing it.
Phillips: This is a non-title match, but a win here could be a big momentum booster for either man.
Ranallo: That's right, Tom. With the Royal Rumble right around the corner, these competitors will be looking to wrap it up quickly and definitively. The key here is to avoid damage and make a statement at the same time.
Graves: If Buzzard can score a pin on the Intercontinental Champion, that'll have to put him in the conversation for title contention, too. Even these biased fans can't fault him for results like that.
Danhausen backs Buzzard towards the ropes, getting closer and closer. When he lunges in to lock up, Leyton ducks and sommersaults past, avoiding contact with the freaky demon just a little longer.
The spry Brit then pops right back up to his feetskies. The Champ wheels around and sees a boot screaming towards his jaw as Leyton attemps a snazzy ensiguri. Danhausen has the very good, very sudden sense to swat the kick away while pulling his head out of harms way. Buzzard crashes down to the canvas like a sack of... well... anything. All sacks obey the laws of gravity.
Bending down and locking arms around the svelt waist of the limey, Danhausen then dead lifts his opponent and leans back. He's thinking about a Northern Lights suplex. That Buzzard is slippery like a snake, though, and brother, he slides right out of the grip to land on his feet behind Danhausen.
When the Intercointental Champ turns to face him, Buzzard finally elects to grapple with him. But does he go for that classic collar-and-eblow? Heck nah. He fakes like he is, but then grabs an arm, jumps up like he's about to hit some headscissors then swerves left, wraps some legs and drags Danhausen down to the mat with an impressive La Magistral!
He's got Danhausen tied up like a pretzel as he makes the first cover of the bout...
1...
2...
Danhausen uses his legs to push up on the mat to roll himself through the pin while simultaneously escaping his foe's grasp. In the ensuing scramble to get vertical, the Champ trips Leyton up, picks both ankles and then flips his body over top to secure a jacknife pinning combination! The Referee slides in to count it...
1...
2...
Buzzard pops out at two.
Ranallo: An exchange of nearfalls that almost ended this early. I'm sure either of these guys would have loved to finished this there.
Graves: After all the conspiratorial torment Leyton Buzzard has been put through these past few months, it'll take more than that to keep him down, Mauro.
Leyton shoves Danhausen aside as he looks to get vertical. The creepiest superstar on the roster swats his legs out from under him so that he crashes back down to the mat, then hooks a leg for another cover...
1...
Buzzard counters with a snappy small package. The third man is right there to count it off...
1...
2...
Danhausen breaks loose before it's too late!
The Champ sits up but Leyton shimmies behined him and slaps on a vicious chinlock. He's really laying it in - bicep squeezing the jaw and pressing it into his torso while the forearm grinds against the trachea. Nasty stuff. Just dag nasty stuff.
Graves: Buzzard has this choke sunk in. This might be it. We don't know him as a submission wrestler, but I have a feeling we've only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Leyton Buzzard.
Ranallo: It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, if you're in a fight, it's never a bad thing to have your opponent in this kind of position.
Typically in these kinds of situations, you can see the vulnerable grappler's face turning different shades of endangered as the submission stays applied. First red, then purple, then maybe even blue. Except here's the thing - Danhausen is as pale as the grave, all day, every day, forever. He's a specter. The living dead. A phantom menace. So it's hard to say how he's coping with the choke hold. His eyes are starting to roll back, however, and seeing this amplified with a close-up on the titantron, the crowd rally behind their boy.
What starts as a pro-Danhausen chant is soon co-opted by the Buzzer Beaters, which is what we're calling the Leyton Haters now, I think. It's not just boos. It's cursing. It's UK-centric slurs. It's the hard "C" word. It's the bottom of the barrel poured out from the top of the rafters all the way down. This capacity crowd ain't got nothing but vitriole for the former fan-favourite.
Leyton grits his teeth, trying his best to focus on putting away his enemy, but eventually, it becomes too much. He gets so gosh dang fed up with the ceaseless cacophony of spite from the UWF Universe - the, as The Grinch would put it, "noise, noise, noise, noise" - drives him to the brink of insanity and the edge of reason, and then, once he's there, pushes him over.
Buzzard releases his chokehold on Danhausen, perhaps mere seconds before dragging him into the dream world, so that he can stomp around the ring like a child throwing a tantrum with his fingers jammed firmly into his ear holes. He's screaming at the crowd that he can't hear them, which, if true, is unreal, cause friends, they're despising him pretty loudly.
Phillips: Buzzard's gone off the deep end!
Graves: This is ridiculous! Imagine if Tiger Woods was lining up a putt on the green and everyone in the audience started screaming at him. The sporting world would call it a disgrace. For some reason, we just let all these knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers in the peanut gallery get away with it when they distract our athletes. Frankly, I find it disgusting.
While Buzzard is throwing his hissy fit, a gasping Danhausen rolls towards the ropes and uses the three cables to pull himself to a vertical base. Once he's standing, he takes a sec to catch his breath, using the top rope to support his weight with one hand while clutching his bruised adam's apple with the other. Homie's in rough shape.
It takes Buzzard a moment to snap out of it and remember he still has a match to win. He clocks Danhausen standing across the ring now and makes a B-line towards him with some bad intentions in his eyes.
The Intercointental Champion cuts him off on the way in with a boot to the guts. With Buzzard doubled over now, Danhausen hooks his head with his sights set on hitting a DDT. Before he can land it, the Bristolian shoves him off and he stumbles back into the ropes. With the little bit of bounce he gets from them, he rebounds back and blasts Leyton with a running Big Boot!
Phillips: Oof! What a kick by Danhausen!
Ranallo: He might have just loosened up a few more teeth to add to his collection.
Buzzard is knocked flat on to his back but rather than attempt a cover, Danhausen scrapes him up then hoists the guy up on to his shoulders in a fireman's carry position. He looks straight into the hard cam and the crowd understands right away that he's looking to nail the move he definitely invented - Very Nice, Very Kneevil!
The fans pop big, but just as Danhausen is hoisting Buzzard over his shoulders to execute, The Brit masterfully transitions his body mid-air and counters with a brutal Poisonrana! The Champ's head is planted into the mat with a ton of force as he's crumpled up like an unwanted valentine. Unlike his foe, Leyton doesn't hesitate to make the pin after the big move...
1...
2...
But Danhausen manages to get a shoulder up just in time!
Graves: Buzzard absolutely demoralized The Intercontinental Champion with that Poisonrana. A month or two ago, these fickle marks would have gone nuts for that kind of athleticisim.
Ranallo: Lest we forget, it was Leyton who turned on them first.
Graves: That's not how I remember it.
As the fans once again rally behind their beloved manifestation of pure evil, Buzzard shoots a glare around the arena before deciding to put an end to the guy once and for all. He stands over Danhausen and yanks his dead weight up. He hooks a shoulder and a pumphandle, which can only mean he's about to hit his patented Buzzard Drivah~!
Except oh snap, Danhausen weasels his way out of the grip! Buzzard's caught off guard and left stunned after the Champ kicks him right in the tummy! With Leyton bent over, Danhausen hooks his head and takes a leg to add some umph as he executs a picture perfect Goodnighthausen outta the blue!
The arena comes unglued as Danhausen busts his finisher outta the blue and this match outta the jaws of defeat! He quickly makes a cover while the Referee counts it off...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER...
THE INTERCONTINETNAL CHAMPION,
DANHAUSEN!
Danhausen sits up and goes right back to nursing his sore neck as his fiendish music fills the air. The Referee raises his hand then gets his belt from the ringside attendant to hand to him while he celebrates with all the fanhausens.
Ranallo: A crucial win for Danhausen ahead of the Rumble. Last year, he lasted longer than anybody else at forty-five minutes and made it to the prestigious final four. Riding this wave of momentum, will he be able to outdo himself this year and win the whole thing?
Graves: Unlikely! The only reason he got past Buzzard tonight is because of these obnoxious fans. Mark my words, you put Leyton against anyone on the roster in an empty arena and he would take them to school.
Danhausen heads up the ramp with his title held high while Leyton comes to in the ring. Hearing the fans cheering for the man that beat him, he starts screaming at them again while Revolution continues elsewhere.
Sami Zayn is seen walking backstage and he knocks on EC3's door.
EC3: Come in.
Zayn and his entourage enter EC3's office and Sami starts limping like he's suffering from an injury.
Sami Zayn: Hey boss. I'm sure you heard the bad news. I may not be able to compete for the next two weeks but doctors assured me that-
EC3: Cut the crap Sami. There's nothing wrong with your foot. You're trying to stay well rested for the rumble but the truth is, I actually don't mind that you're not on my tv every week. I quite enjoy it actually. But the thing I love more than you not being here in watching you get your comeuppance. That's why next week, I'm booking you in a match with the Intercontinental Champion, Danhausen.
Sami Zayn: Ooh big deal, what's he going to do, curs-
Zayn stops and realizes that he could very well be cursed.
EC3: Exactly. See you next week.
Zayn looks angry and storms out of the room leaving EC3 smiling as the show moves on.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, already in the ring: Eddie Kingston.
Eddie would lift an arm up and the crowd would cheer.
Tony Chimel: Introducing his opponent….
When Lie, Cheat, Steal by Jim Johnston plays, The UWF Universe See a low rider coming out from the back and drives it smoothly out here onto the stage and rides it straight down towards the ramp away and he pulls to a stop and turned on the switches inside of his low rider an stops it and gets out of his low rider in starts shaking his arms in gets inside of the Revolution ring and climbs up the top rope and beats on his chest and shakes his arms once again and head over towards the other top rope and does the exact same thing beats his chest and does the shake an gets down from the top rope
Tony Chimel: From El Paso, Texas Weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds Eddie Guerrero
The bell would ring and Kingston would meet Guerrero in the middle of the ring. The pair would stare down for a moment and Kingston would wave off Guerrero and turn round to go back to his corner but Eddie would go for a roll up, Kingston kicking out almost immediately. Getting back to his feet, Kingston would stares daggers at Eddie who would just shrug and beckon for Kingston to bring it, Kingston would charge forward and Guerrero would Leapfrog over him and send Kingston into the corner, Kingston bouncing out and Guerrero would go for a Dropkick but Kingston would have this scouted and push Guerrero to the side before capitalizing with the a standing elbow drop onto Eddie and going for a quick cover.
Mauro Ranallo: This match, dubbed by some as the Battle of the Eddies is off to an electric start here folks
Tom Phillips: Thats right Mauro, Guerrero trying to get a quick roll up on Kingston but he kicked out and even after throwing Kingston into the corner, Guerrero is on the defensive.
Corey Graves: Eddie is just trying to capitalize on Eddies mistakes, i’m sure Eddie will come out on top here, he’s Eddie after all.
1….1.5……Kickout
Guerrero would get his arm up and Kingston would immediately go for a rear chinlock, adding in his forearm to get even more leverage on the neck. Guerrero would use his superior agility however to twist himself back round and onto his feet, Kingston would try to set up for a Powerbomb from this position but Guerrero would hit the Hurricanrana to flip Kingston onto his back, picking Kingston back up, Guerrero would unleash a pair of European Uppercuts before running over the ropes and trying to flip Kingston over into a pinning position but Kingston would just sit down and pin Eddie to the mat.
Mauro Ranallo:Kingston once again pinning Guerrero to the mat here, its like whatever Guerrero throws at Kingston, Kingston has an answer to it.
Tom Phillips: That just shows the kind of expertise Kingston has in these situations, while known more for his brawling, he also is a technical wizard.
Corey Graves:Eddies going to do what Eddie is going to do but I wouldn’t out Eddie just yet, Eddie can still win this.
Tom Phillips: Graves what in the hell are you talking about?
1…2….kick out.
Guerrero manages to flip Kingston over in the pinning predicament but Kingstons shoulders aren’t down for long, Kingston would get back to his feet but Guerrero would go for the arm drag, only to be reversed into a Uranage by Kingston, Guerrero landing with a slam to the mat. Wasting no time, Kingston would pick Guerrero back up and start lighting up his chest with chops, the skin of Guerrero welting immediately. Kingston would go for one chop too many and Guerrero would reverse this, grabbing Kingston into a Suplex befores swiveling his hips and hitting another and then swiveling his hips again to hit another Suplex and finish the Three Amigos. Guerrero would go for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: Guerrero finally getting a bit of steam in this match gus, hitting that Tres Amigos
Tom Phillips: Kingston was in control with those chops, Guerreros chest completely covered in welts but he reached down and got his opening
Corey Graves: Eddies an expert guys, Eddies going to win i’m sure
1….2….Kick Out.
Kingston kicks out and Guerrero looks to lock in the Lasso from El Paso but Kingston boots him off into the corner, getting up and hitting a Running Arched Big Boot to him in the corner, Guerrero collapses out but Eddie keeps him propped up in the corner and slaps him twice in the face in a sign of disrespect and moves back to run and hit another one but Eddie springs to life, having been playing possum and gets out the way, Kingston going foot first into the ring post, Kingston limps out and is picked up by Eddie into a Crucifix position, the crowd awes the strength of Guerrero who drops Eddie with a Sitout Crucifix Powerbomb and a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: GUERRERO WITH THE CRUCIFIX BOMB, THIS IS IT HERE.
Tom Phillips: The strength of Guerrero, managing to lift the bigger man Kingston up and put him away with a move like this.
Corey Graves: What did I say huh, Eddie was going to win.
1…2…..2.5……Kickout
Guerrero looks up at the referee and gets on his hands and knees, praying that it was a 3 but the referee waves it off and goes to check on Kingston. Kingston insists he’s fine but it isn’t long till Guerrero is on him, laying the boots onto him. Guerrero picks Kingston up and hits a Suplex onto Kingston but doesn’t go for anymore. Climbing top rope he does the dance and goes for the Frog Splash but Kingston gets his knees up, Eddie rolls away and clutches his ribs, sitting up he doesn’t notice Eddie bouncing off the ropes behind him and hitting him with the Sliding D. Kingston goes for the cover.
Mauro Ranallo: KINGSTON GETTING HIS KNEES UP TO STOP THE FROG SPLASH, COMING IN HOT WITH THAT SLIDING D
Tom Phillips: This is it folks, Kingston racking up another W
Corey Graves: See, told you guys Eddie would win.
1….2….3…..
Tony Chimel: Your winner of this match via pinfall: EDDIE KINGSTON.
As the crowd cheers for Kingston and the referee lifts his hand up Kingston would look at Guerrero and nod at him, appreciating the fight he gave him here
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
A familiar phrase echoes throughout the arena, leading into the opening bassline of Headlong Flight by Rush and with it, a chorus of boos. However, as each instrument joins into the song, smoke begins to fill the stage and before long, a figure walks out from behind the stage into the smoke. No bounding from one side to the other, Edge moves slowly, like a predator taking in his surroundings in order to best pounce on his prey. The crowd is not shy with their disdain for the Ultimate Opportunist, showering him in boos as he stalks down the ramp. Halfway down, he pauses, crouching low, his face contorting as he bares his fangs and in one motion, uncoils upwards, his hands held high with devil horns as pyro explodes behind him.
As the pyro finishes exploding, Edge slowly brings his head back to level and walks towards the ring. Only a few steps away, he runs and slides into the ring and as he moves towards a turnbuckle to pose and soak in more hate and boos, the ring announcer chimes in.
Tony Chimel
Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds. He is the Ultimate Opportunist, Edge!
"Better Than You" begins to play and there is a tidal wave of boos from the fans. After a few moments MJF begins to swagger out of the entrance way. Following behind him is Sir William Regal. MJF laughs at the fans who are trying to get under his skin as he walks towards the ring.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring accompanied by Sir William Regal. Weighing in at 216 pounds from Plainview New York. He says he is better than you and you know it Maxwell Jacob Friedman, M...J...F!!!!
The fans erupt even louder and MJF doesn't pay them any mind. He walks into the ring and Regal opens the ropes for him. He stands in the middle of the ring flexing a bit and smirking as his music fades.
VS 
DING DING DING!
MJF casually walks towards the center of the ring, full of cocksure swagger and sticks his hand out, giving Edge a bit of a peace offering. The Ultimate Opportunist knows a thing or two about tricks and doesn't even give MJF the satisfaction of contemplating it. He just takes his hand and slaps the cocky cock across the face. MJF looks flabbergasted but before he can even do anything, Edge brings him in with a Headlock Takedown and pins him to the mat. Edge takes his knuckles and rubs it into MJF's head, basically giving giving him a noogie. There's only room for one edgelord in UWF and that's Edge who actually became a lord courtesy of the King of the Ring. That works yeah?
Friedman ends up getting back to a vertical base and shoves Edge forward. The Canadian hits the ropes and comes back with a big strong Shoulder Tackle causing MJF to go flying and he rolls out of the ring to safety. Or at least that's what he had hoped for. Edge exits the ring and stalks him from behind. He pounces but MJF side steps and pushes him forward to run head first into the steel ring post! Skull meets metal and I don't like skull's chances. The Rated R Superstar falls to his knees next to the post and MJF simply kicks the side of his head right back into it! Edge goes down but Maxwell brings him right back up and tosses him into the ring. He follows him in to make the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Edge kicks out! MJF talks all kinds of shit, knowing he's got Edge right where he wants him. He's berating and belittling him with some very not PG words. It's not quite a Call of Duty lobby in 2010 but it's getting there. He slaps Edge in the back of the head a few times before picking him up. He grabs Edge's fingers and interlock them with his own and twists them around. Edge is on his knees in pain and MJF just laughs at his cries of pain. He's telling Edge to beg him for mercy but Edge isn't about to let himself look like a chump. He's got like a foot and dozens on pounds on this little bitch. He gets out from under him and is able to put the pressure on him. Now it's MJF who falls to his knees in pain.
Mauro Ranallo: Well how the tables have turned.
Tom Phillips: This is what happens when you decide to toy around with a former UWF Champion.
Corey Graves: Hey you can't fault the young blood. He's here to make an impact and regardless if he comes out on top, he'll make sure people remember him.
MJF yells out for Regal and the dastardly villain tries to come into the ring. The ref goes to stop him and while that's happening, MJF just headbutts Edge right in the dick! The Salt of the Earth is all smiles as he stands back up with Edge leaned on him trying to stay upright. The only problem is, maybe he forgot who he's in the ring with. Edge returns the favor and gives him a Low Blow while the ref is still busy with Regal! Both men go down holding their crotches and rolls around on the mat. The ref turns to look at them and looks confused but says fuck it and counts both men down.
Tom Phillips: Turnabout is fair play.
Mauro Ranallo: Edge may have had a change of heart recently but that doesn't mean he's just going to sit by and let someone try and steal a victory away from him.
Corey Graves: Against anyone else, it's a full proof plan but Edge isn't called the Ultimate Opportunist for nothing.
The ref counts to 6 and both men use the ropes on opposite ends of the ring to get back up. hey come to each other in the middle of the ring and start laying into each other. Edge being the bigger and more stronger of the two ends up getting an advantage but MJF gives him a thumb to the eye to send him retreating. The ref gets on him for this but MJF just puts his hand to the lips and says oops. Edge turns back around but eats a Superkick to the jaw! Edge falls to his knees once more and MJF manages to lift him up and plant him with a Powerbomb! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Edge kicks out! MJF looks pissed and starts saying some ugly words but luckily he's more mumbling to himself so we don't pick up on any of it. He grab's Edge's arm and flips him over onto his belly. He's trying to place him in the Fujiwara but Edge ends up rolling forward to his feet. MJF pulls him in for a stiff Short Arm Clothesline but Edge ducks it and takes his head, pulling him down for the Edge-O-Matic! He hooks the leg for the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
MJF kicks out! Edge is fine with that. He gets to his feet and brings MJF up along with him. He's got him in a Headlock and and is setting up for the Edgecution but MJF rushes forward and backs him into the corner. He gives the former UWF Champion a few Shoulder Thrusts in the corner but when he backs up for one final one, Edge gets his leg up and knees him in the face! MJF retreats to the center of the ropes and leans against them. He shakes the cobwebs and turns around only to see Edge coming at him with a Spear! MJF leaps over him and Edge falls into the ropes. MJF manages to scoop him up into a School Boy and the ref makes the count but he doesn't see MJF lift his feet up onto the ropes!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Maxwell Jacob Friedman, MJF!
Edge kicks out just a little too late and MJF quickly exits the ring. He and regal are pleased and taunt Edge while the Rated R Superstar tries to tell the ref that he had his feet on the ropes. Wasn't too long ago Edge would've down the same thing so he's taking his pleas with a grain of salt. MJF is quick to leave the ringside area before anyone can decide to restart the match or anything leaving Edge to complain to the ref as the show moves on.
UWF cuts to grainy security footage center of the footage two young girls, No older than nine and six, playing backstage. A man who is none other than Leyton Buzzard walks into to frame squats down to the girls eye level. The oldest tries to back up and timidly pulls at her younger sister's shoulder to take her lead, but she doesn't budge. Leyton takes the opportunity to rough up her nicely done hair which leads her to pout.
Leyton Buzzard: "Your daddy Edge, You know he isn't a good man that you think he is. He is horrible and isn't very good at his job. I mean he is truly turning his back on you and your mother, Beth. I feel bad for you girls to be raised by such a coward, I mean your Uncle Christian isn't much better and I just want you two to know if you want a real role model don't end up like your coward of a father and uncle. Be strong like B--"
Leyton is pushed by Christian who runs up to the commotion with a bag of refreshments in his hand that spills as he does so. The two girls are presumably in his care for the moment, Buzzard stumbles backwards almost falling over as Christian steps between Buzzard and the girls...
Christian: "HEY! Who do you think you are!? Get the HELL away from them."
Leyton backs up as he looks to the girls who are scared of the strange man, He waves at the young girls as Christian steps towards Buzzard with every step taken until he feels Buzzard is far enough away as he stands in case Buzzard tries anything. Buzzard not wanting to get physical backs off until he is out of frame as Christian turns to check on the girls as the feed is cut...
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
"Knight Vision" begins to play throughout the arena and the capacity begins to groan because they know what time it is. It is time to titillate their juices with the arrival of the "Thursday Night Thriller". This is the "Million Dollar Megastar". This is LA Knight. Knight does not take long bursting through the curtain and out onto the stage. The reception he receives isn't warm whatsoever but LA Knight does not care. He soaks in the atmosphere while the jeers rain down on him.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and Gentlemen, coming to the ring, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 230 pounds, he is the "Million Dollar Megastar", L...A....Knight!
As Chimel announces the brash star from Baltimore, Knight spells his name out in the air just to make sure that everyone knows exactly who he is.
Knight continues down the ramp towards the ring. The entire time he talks trash to all the people in the front row. He's not here for them; he's here for himself. As he reaches the end of the aisleway, he heads towards the hard camera before leaping onto the ring apron and posing for everyone to see him. There is no shortage in confidence in Knight tonight, as he enters the ring, climbs the nearest turnbuckle and throws up the "LA" hand sign.
Knight leaps off the top rope to the canvas and continues to prepare for the upcoming match he has.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent…
GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
The raw guitar driven sound of Accept's 'Fast as a Shark' hits the PA system and the crowd begin to go wild. Shark Boy marches out onto the stage full of piss and vinegar, he's mouthing off at anyone and everyone, he has the UWF Championship belt firmly in his grasp as he does so. Shark Boy wastes no time storming down to ringside his eyes fixed on the task in hand his head bobbing side to side as he jaw jacks on his way to ringside as waves of fans reach out to their favourite masked man.
Tony Chimmel: Introducing, from the Deep Blue Sea, weighing in at 205 pounds... he is the UWF Champion....SHARK BOY!
Shark Boy stomps up the steps and through the ropes into the ring, he makes a b-line for the corner where he heads to the top rope and throws out the fin-salute to the crowd before throwing his two fists high into the air, the belt also flung high into the air for all the Shark-o-holics out there. Shark Boy repeats this at the three other corners before taking off his vest and waiting for the bell to sound.
There's commotion first as Tommaso Ciampa and DDP end up coming out from the back. Shark Boy looks at the dup who walk over to the announce table. They take a chair but don't sit in on commentary, instead Ciampa wants a good look at the action.
VS. 
DING DING DING
Shark Boy keeps a close eye on Ciampa but the #1 contender puts his hands up, telling him he means no harm, he's just here to scout the match. Yeah like that ever goes off without a hitch. Knight walks up to Shark Boy and grabs him by the shoulder spinning him around. He tells him to pay attention to a real challenge and Shark Boy responds with a simple but effective Headbutt! Knight goes down and Sharky jumps on him and starts leveling him with punches. Knight covers up as best he can and rolls away to the outside. Grado laughs at him and Knight shoots him a glare. Before he can do anything though, Shark Boy flies over the top rope with a Plancha to the outside!
Tom Phillips: Knight should take his own advice and pay attention to the real challenge.
Corey Graves: We all know Shark Boy can't get it done without help. LA is just keeping his eyes peeled for any sneak attacks. He's at a clear disadvantage here.
Shark Boy grabs him and tosses him back into the ring. Knight crawls over to the corner and stays seated but that's just where The Shark wants him. He walks over and proceeds to stomp a mudhole in him and proceeds to walk it dry. The ref checks on LA but Shark Boy wants more action. The ref backs him since Knight is in the corner. While Shark Boy is trying to get past him, Knight gets up and blindsides him with a punch to the jaw! Shark Boy goes down and Knight grabs his own fist, having hurt himself with that big punch. He picks Shark Boy back up and grabs him in behind in a full nelson. He then lifts him up and slams him back down with a Full Nelson Slam! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Shark Boy kicks out! Knight grabs him and tosses him into the corner. He sets him onto the top rope and climbs up along with him. He's thinking Superplex but Shark Boy knows that and starts to fight back. He gives Knight a few punches but they don't really deter him. He decides to grab Knight's head and give him a big ol' Shark Bite! LA screams out in pain and drops to the mat. Shark Boy re-positions himself on the top rope and comes flying off with a Diving Crossbody right into the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Knight kicks out! Shark Boy rolls off of him back to his feet and Knight rushes to his. He goes to take down Shark Boy with a Clothesline but Shark Boy ducks it and runs to the ropes. He comes back but Knight is able to scoop him up over his shoulder. He's going for a Powerslam but Shark Boy kicks his feet and falls out behind him, shoving him into the ropes. Knight comes off them and runs right into a Thez Press followed by punches from the UWF Champion! Knight rolls away to the ropes and picks himself up. Shark Boy comes running over to give him a Clothesline and Knight falls to the outside!
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like Shark Boy's got Knight on the ropes. Literally!
Corey Graves: He's literally off of the ropes Mauro.
Tom Phillips: Looks like LA is being given a lesson first hand on why Shark Boy is the UWF Champion.
Corey Graves: Pure luck and dirty tactics. LA doesn't need luck though.
Tom Phillips: But he does need dirty tactics?
Corey Graves: I didn't say that.
Grado once again gets close to Knight and starts to laugh at him. Knight is picking himself up and looks pissed. He rushes over to Grado and decks him in the face! The Scottish Sensation turn away holding his jaw but Knight grabs him and tosses him right into Ciampa, knocking him over his chair! He yells out that he'll beat Ciampa too if he manages to win at the Rumble. DDP tries to checks on both men but Knight doesn't want to deal with them. He turns around only to see Shark Boy come diving out of the ring with a Suicide Dive! He's about to over and check on Grado but DDP tells him he's fine. Shark Boy instead grabs LA Knight and rolls him back into the ring.
LA Knight is crawling to the center of the ring, trying to pick himself up. Shark Boy decides to go up top and climbs to the top rope. He's waiting for Knight to get up but it appears he knows he's there as he quickly rushes to the ropes and is able to mess with is balance and cause Shark Boy to fall right on his pearls. LA walks over and climbs to the top rope along with him, this time beating him down every few seconds to make sure he doesn't fight back. Next thing you know, they both come tumbling down into a Superplex! Knight makes the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Shark Boy kicks out! Knight is just about done with this shit and picks up Shark Boy, lifting him over his back. He's setting up for the Gravy train but Shark Boy manages to flip over him into a Sunset Flip! Only problem is, Knight doesn't flip over. Shark Boy is laying underneath him trying to get him to fall back but Knight just shakes his head. He goes to drop a knee on his head but Shark Boy avoids it and Knight hobbles away. He turns around only to get kicked in the gut and set up for the Chummer! Knight ends up shoving Shark Boy forward and the UWF Champion collides with the referee!
Tom Phillips: Cheap move by LA Knight.
Corey Graves: Cheap move? The referee just got in the way. We need to start hiring refs who know what they're doing.
Shark Boy checks on the ref but Knight comes from the side hitting him with a knee to the face! Shark Boy goes down and Knight stands over him, talking more trash. What he doesn't see however is that Ciampa is back up and he walks over to the time keeper's area and grabs the UWF Championship. Knight picks up Shark Boy and tells him he's about to end things right here. Ciampa slides into the ring behind him and he can feel the ring move so he turns around. Tommaso comes running at him with the UWF Championship but LA ducks it and Ciampa ends up smashing Shark Boy in the face with it! Ciampa looks shocked but before naything else can happen, Knight kicks him in the gut and throws him out of the ring. With the ref coming to, Knight kicks the title out of the ring and makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, LA Knight!
Ciampa is about to come back into the ring and so Knight quickly gets outta dodge. He walks up the ramp with a smile on his face, taunting Ciampa. Tommaso looks down and Shark Boy and goes to help him up. Shark Boy ends up pie facing him and shoving him away and tells him to get the hell out of his face. Ciampa looked pissed but DDP comes into the ring and keeps him at bay, trying to make him take deep breathes and keep a cool head. Grado helps Shark Boy up and Shark Boy threatens Ciampa. Tommaso looks like he wants to go at him but DDP keeps him held back. The two men competing at the Royal Rumble for the UWF Championship stare one another down while being kept separated as the show comes to a close.
END OF SHOW
Confirmed for Royal Rumble
Intercontinental Championship
Danhausen(c) vs Eddie Kingston
Television Championship
Trevor Lee(c) vs Cody Rhodes
Anarchy Rulez
Batista vs Kyle O'Reilly
LA Knight vs Spike Dudley
Credits
Hogan vs Balor - Leedles
Kingston vs Guerrero - Gunn
Danhausen vs Buzzard - Fauche
Butcher vs Cody, MJF vs Edge, Shark Boy vs Knight - Danny
