Post by Danny on Apr 20, 2023 17:08:27 GMT -6
We head to the arena where the pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Tom Phillips: We continue on the road to Backlash with five great match-ups this evening like Will Ospreay versus Edge!
Corey Graves: Also going toe-to-toe will be Cody Rhodes and Mafia Dom.
Mauro Ranallo: In a battle of former International Champions, the returning Samoa Joe takes on Eddie Guerrero.
Tom Phillips: Also on tap, Orange Cassidy and Batista will do battle.
Corey Graves: And it’s champion versus champion in the main event when MJF and Trevor Lee lock up. All that and more right here on Revolution!
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare come out to a huge ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
As soon as Cody Rhodes made it to the ring it didn't take long for the lights to start flickering to signal The Mafia.
The music sounds around the arena as The Mafia walks from the back and onto the stage to a crowd full of boos. Mafia Dom takes the lead as he heads to battle against Cody Rhodes.
Tony Chimel:Representing The Mafia, Dominic Mysterio!
Mafia Dom finally makes it to the ring and slides in as Balor and Priest stay on the outside.
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
The match begins as Dom and Rhodes lock up, Cody takes the advantage immediately putting him into a side headlock. Cody applies a bit of pressure while talking trash to Dom. After noticing Dom struggle for so long Finn Balor hops onto the apron to distract the referee. After distracting the referee Balor had also gotten the attention of Cody Rhodes who tries to punch him but ultimately fails to do so as Finn Balor hopes off the apron just in time. Cody Rhodes doesn’t have any time to breathe though as he turns around and Mafia Dom charges at him hitting him with a clothesline over the top rope. The referee then proceeds to stop Dominic from climbing out of the ring, making time for Balor and Priest to get in a few stomps to Cody Rhodes on the outside. After some time the referee turned around and became suspicious and decided to check on Cody Rhodes. Cody begins to make it to his feet but the minute he stands up he’s met with Mafia Dom flying over the top rope onto him connecting with a somersault.
Mauro Ranallo: The numbers game is certainly going to be a factor in this one.
Corey Graves: The numbers game is always a factor Mauro, The Mafia has been on a run ever since Balor became the Television Champion.
Tom Phillips: Well I just think they're cowards who ta-
Corey Graves: Nobody cares what you think Phil.
Mafia Dom quickly capitalizes as he throws Cody Rhodes into the ring and pins him immediately
One!
Cody makes a huge kick out pushing Mafia Dom off of him leaving Dom sitting there shocked. Dom quickly gets back on the attack though as he puts Cody Rhodes in a headlock on the floor. Dom puts pressure on the headlock but after crawling to the ropes Cody Rhodes is finally free from Dom. Rhodes crawls over to the corner to catch a breath but on the attack once again was Mafia Dom as he charges at Rhodes sitting in the corner. Dom tries to hit Cody Rhodes with a cannon ball but Rhodes moves out of the way just in time. Leaving Mafia Dom to crash and burn while
Cody Rhodes finally makes it to his feet. Rhodes picks Dom up to his feet and begins to send punches in the direction of Dom hitting him with each punch. Mafia Dom creates some space and tries to clothesline Cody Rhodes once more but Rhodes ducks, sending Mafia Dom charging at the ropes. While running the ropes Mafia Dom is met with a Scoop Powerslam from Cody who quickly pins Dom after.
One!
Two!
Mauro Ranallo: Cody Rhodes finally building some momentum here.
Corey Graves: But it wasn’t enough to put away the latino pandillerio
Tom Phillips: What’s that?
Corey Graves: I don’t know I just heard Dom say it.
Mafia Dom manages to get the shoulder up while Cody climbs from his knees and back onto his feet. Upon making it to his feet Rhodes heads to the corner and begins to climb the top rope. Balor and Priest notice so Balor decides to set a distraction for the referee as Damian Priest capitalizes and pushes Cody Rhodes off of the top rope. The referee quickly turns around after hearing the impact of Rhodes falling off of the top turnbuckle while Priest just walks around the outside of the ring laughing. Rhodes is laid out onto the canvas and Mafia Dom decides to climb to the top turnbuckle as well. Mafia Dom is looking to finish this match as he taunts before jumping off the top turnbuckle hoping to connect with a Frogsplash. Instead he goes face first as his body bounces off of the canvas, they keep the action going as Mafia Dom quickly makes it back to his feet only to be met with a Disaster Kick! out of nowhere.
Mauro Ranallo: Cody Rhodes finally has that chance that he’s been looking for all night.
Tom Phillips: Cody Rhodes could put away Mafia Dom right now!
Corey Graves If he’s lucky.
Cody raises the leg with hopes of putting away Mafia Dom.
One!
Two!
Th-
Before the count of three Priest had managed to grab Mafia Dom’s leg and place it on the bottom rope causing the pin to be broken. Cody begins to get angry at the Mafia’s antics as he picks Dom up by the hair and points in the direction of Finn Balor before hitting Dom with a CrossRoads! Cody decides not to make the pin attempt due to the many distractions outside of the ring. Rhodes grabs Mafia Dom
by the leg dragging him into the center of the ring before putting him into the Figure Four Leg Lock!
Mauro Ranallo: Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide, What will Mafia Dom do now?
Tom Phillips: He has no choice but to tap out now he has nowhere to go
Corey Graves: Don’t count the boy out just yet.
Mafia Dom has nowhere to run he has no choice, but before he could give up out of nowhere Finn Balor flies off the top rope hitting Rhodes with a Coupe De Grace.
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
[Cody Winner by Dq]
Finn Balor and The Mafia continue their attack on Cody Rhodes as Priest enters the ring and begins to stomp Rhodes. The crowd boo The Mafia as they launch another assault on Cody Rhodes, Rhodes crawls over to the corner as Mafia Dom climbs to his feet and both he and Priest begin to lay kicks to Rhodes in the corner. Balor commands The Mafia to get rid of Cody Rhodes so Damian Priest slides out of the ring and grabs two chairs before sliding back in the ring and placing one of the chairs on the floor. Dominic, who was sending kicks to the stomach of Cody Rhodes, grabs Cody by the head and slams it onto the chair that Priest placed on the floor. Priest hands the chair to Dom while Balor shouts at Mafia Dom to get rid of Cody Rhodes but before he could finish his sentence he is met with an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!
Balor quickly rolls out of the ring as Randy Orton comes to the rescue of Cody Rhodes. Orton charges at Priest hitting him with a clothesline, Orton then charges at Mafia Dom also hitting him with a clothesline. Cody Rhodes bounces off of the ropes to hit Priest with a Cody Cutter causing Priest to roll out of the ring. Leaving Mafia Dom to fend for himself Rhodes grabs Mafia Dom by the hair and plants him straight on his face with a CrossRoads! Orton then goes to the corner anxious to make an example out of Mafia Dom, he charges for the punt kick but before Orton could connect Balor and Priest bails Mafia Dom out just in time to hug roll out with The Mafia as Finn Balor smirks and Dom leaves angry not being able to finish Cody Rhodes.
We head backstage to the parking lot area. We see a car roll up, beautifully wrapped in camo gear as the driver pulls into the arena. The driver can be seen a mile away and it doesn't take a brain scientist to figure out who it is with the camo car. The car parks up in the car park.
The door flings open with the Runt of Dudleyville making his way out of the car. He seems in a half way mood..... not particularly happy but not particularly sad either. He checks his reflection in the mirror before walking around to the boot, opening the boot and collecting his bags for the night. He has one last look in the backseat, nodding his head before he walks away from the car. He doesn't get very far before he is stopped in his tracks by a certain backstage interviewer. Renee Young is standing by, not with her trusty microphone but with a cigarette. Spike looks at her with a look of disappointment in his eyes as he begins to speak to her.
Spike Dudley: You know those things are bad for you.
Renee Young: Am I really copping that from someone who use to use an Acid Drop as a finisher?
Spike: Fair point, you've got me there but the key words are use to.
Renee: Another fair point.... anyway I'm nearly done now anyway. It's tough being a backstage interviewer you know!! That's twice in the space of a month that I've popped out on my down time and you guys have interrupted my smoko. I once heard an Australian song which used the beautiful words of "I'm on Smoko, leave me alone". Maybe UWF should bring this into effect.
Spike: Hey, I can't speak for O'Reilly but mine was purely by accident. I just arrived at the arena, waiting to go inside to do something I've promised myself to do and you happened to be in the way.
Renee: Oh yer? What would that be?
Spike: Well Renee, you see last week, I decided to take an Uncle Spike Dudley week. I could have shown up to work last week and I could have given 110% like I always do but what I decided to do is stay at home and lick my wounds from my battle with Hollywood. I was banged up and I need some downtime plus..... my house still isn't exactly how I like it after Hollywood trashed it so I needed to fix things around the place....none the less my poor Little Groot who still can't walk in a straight line after Hollywood kicked it in the head.
Renee: I did see that. Not Batista's biggest fan after harming a harmless animal.
Spike: I thought you were suppose to be unbiased? I didn't think you could have an opinion like that?
Renee: I'm still human Spike.
Spike: Hard to argue with that but I stayed at home last week surrounded by family and my Angel without Wings, Stacy Keibler and I did a lot of thinking. I needed the time to refresh myself physically but most of all mentally. Do you know what it took out of me to come so close to tying it up in the dying seconds? I had my hands on that lever and was pushing down with all my might but Hollywood was just too strong....so tonight I'm fresh. I'm ready to go but most of all, I'm thinking clearly and I have to follow through with what I promised myself I would do on my return......tonight I'm going to go to Hollywood's office and I'm going to look him in the eye.......extend my hand and admit he was the better man.
Renee: Do you think he will accept it?
Spike: Honestly Renee...... I don't think he will. He wanted to kill me but L.A Knight didn't accept it when I offered it to him so if he doesn't.....I'll still sleep at night knowing I was a bigger man.... maybe not better man but bigger man and if he does accept... well I'll just go on my merry way.
Renee: I like that thinking. Not really any negatives to it for you. It does sound like you will be moving on after that. What is next for Spike Dudley?
Spike: The great thing about UWF is no one ever really knows. I sure as hell don't know. Just look at last week Renee. I'll use one example. Tomasso Ciampa.... one of the good guys. A great competitor and a great guy to boot. He will always be remembered for what he has done for UWF and he fought for his life at WrestleMania!! He came so close to holding onto his UWF career but it wasn't enough. A great competitor like that deserves a great send off. He deserved the world and he deserved one last moment in the sun with the crowd chanting his name for the last time. That is what everyone expected to happen and it's what he deserved.
Spike pauses, looking at Renee as she finishes up her ciggie. Spike smiles at her as she flicks it down on the ground and stomps on it. Spike continues talking.
Spike: He was a man that Uncle Spike Dudley had a lot of time for. I would have been the first man in the back to meet up and congratulate on his wonderful career but just like that. Samoa came oout and wrecked everything. He decided to steal the spotlight and instead of people talking about Ciampa riding off into the sunset.... people are talking about the disrespect that Samoa showed and I have to agree with the masses. What Samoa did last week was a low blow and totally disrespectful. He didn't impress me with what he did.... I'm not sitting here thinking his cleaver with what he done. I'm standing here thinking what an absolutely low life but what makes it worse is that Ciampa will never ever be able to get revenge. That just proves to me that Samoa isn't so brave... he isn't so scary and he certainly isn't worth respecting so hopefully.... sooner or later he gets his comeuppance.
Renee: Yer, I didn't really agree with that either.
Spike: Glad to see that I'm not alone but that just makes my point Renee. UWF, no one ever can guess what's going to happen next so I'm just going to wait and see Renee. Just wait and see.....now please excuse me. I better go and get this thing with Hollywood out the way.
Spike pats Renee on the shoulder before picking up his bags and making his way into the arena. Renee looks back at Spike, with a happy look on her face as she pulls another cigarette from her pack as the camera fades to black.
The scene opens up on The Guild standing outside of Batista’s office when Leyton Buzzard comes walking up and tries to brush past them and enter but he’s stopped.
The Miz: Whoa whoa whoa there!
Miz and Goldust push Leyton back and Miz points at Leyton.
The Miz: Just who the hell do you think you are trying to just waltz in to the, “Hollywood Animal”’s office, hmm? Not only does he have a match tonight but he’s preparing for the role of a lifetime, a role that’s going to make him the number one leading man! A role…
Leyton cuts him off.
Leyton Buzzard: "You know what role your leadin' man really played? Huh. He came out and cost me what I rightfully deserve. Dave does love money so I wouldn't be shocked if this "anonymous" donor behind the Steiner saga is behind giving your man a little extra credit, So let me through so I can speak with Mr Hollywood himself man to man, mano e mano...
Leyton tries to brush past them and enter yet again. Leyton's eyes meet Golddust face painted eyes...
Leyton Buzzard: "What didn't you understand freak? I want to see your man..."
Golddust cuts off Buzzard...
Goldust You’re the one having trouble understanding, young man. No one goes in this office and if you’ve got a problem with that…
Leyton gets a cheap shot in on Goldust, then takes a swing at Miz and decks him in the nose, knocking him into the wall. Leyton grabs Miz and beats his head against the wall several times before throwing him into Goldust, knocking both men down. Leyton rushes the office now only to find Batista isn’t there.
Buzzard looks left and right as he makes his way out of the room he looks down at Goldust than Miz as he says.
Leyton Buzzard: "Give the boss a message, I will get my face to face with him..."
Buzzard continues walking past as the show moves on.
The titantron would cut to Samoa Joe standing backstage in an interview area but there would be no interviewers in sight, just Joe with a slight smirk on his face.
Samoa Joe: Well I was told I would have another little interview with Renee but I guess she’s on a smoke break, seems to be a fan of them these days. To be honest I don’t really need an interviewer for what I want to say, so I hope she enjoys her break. You see, tonight I make my in-ring return to the UWF and usually this would be a cause for celebration. A time to reflect on the past and look to the future. That feeling of excitement that you get before you get in the ring, most people would have butterflies but then again we know i’m not most people.
Most people would look at a wrestler like Eddie Guerrero and see it as an honor to face a man with his ability and lineage but me, I don’t see that. All I see is a joke that should have been kicked out of this company long before he could have made the embarrassment of himself that he has become, so tonight I don’t see a competitor. I just see another victim.
The crowd would boo Joe slightly.
Samoa Joe: The Eddie Guerrero that I knew would not let himself become the man we see eat loss after loss every week. The Eddie Guerrero I knew would have ditched Eve when he saw how much of a distraction she has become to him but this isn’t the Eddie Guerrero I knew. This is the Eddie Guerrero that the UWF has taken all measures of respectability and credibility from and turned him into nothing but a joke and tonight well, i’m going to deliver the punchline.
I want you to know Eddie, that I don’t do this from a place of malice, I do this from a place of mercy. I’m going to show everyone the mess that you have became and as we’re on the mat, as i’m choking you out with the Coquina Clutch, as the light slowly fades from your eyes, all that will be left won’t be Eddie Guerrero, the joke, all that will be left is Eddie Guerrero the victim, just another victim of the Samoan Submission Machine.
The camera would begin to fade as the smirk would still be on Joes face.
IT WAS THE END WE GOT;
IT DOES NOT MEAN IT WAS THE END WE WANTED.
To say this stings would be nothing short of an understatement, it fucking hurt like a motherfucker and how could it not. How could it not hurt, he had no wife, he had no children, all he had was this and nothing more, and all that he had, all that he had gained, had been ripped out of his fucking arms and held before him to taunt and mock him further and further.
“It is like, having your child ripped from your arms, a little extreme to many, but that is the feeling that is within me. That this is something that will not rest with me, not until I can change everything that has happened and make things right here.”
As the former champion would take the moment, drastic times and all that, call for drastic measures and he had done, what he felt was needed, he never lost the title in the first place, he was never truly defeated and while true, things have not been as perfect as they had once been, the defeats have settled in, weakness was a plague within this company and needed to be ripped from you before it takes hold, before others see it and act upon it, he will refuse always to become secondary to anyone, to be seen as someone that can and will be stepped upon and over, it was not going to happen.
“MJF, I think you want something back.”
The title, the championship, the gold, the piece that will show the world, who was the next in line, who was stepping up, who was the number two in the company and the one every single son of a gun was aiming for to take down, he held the title, but that did not mean it was his, stolen, taken from the man who he knew deep down inside had won it on his own, but to give credit to someone such as MJF, that was hardly going to happen, he would sooner die than ever part with the words to give that son of a bitch a shred of credit for anything at all he has done.
“Not going to hold it ransom against you, not gonna take it to a bridge and toss it into a river, not gonna to come out there and throw it in the trash and burn it nah all that stuff, is a lil bit to fancy for my tastes, instead I am going to keep it, right here, on my shoulder, so you know where it is, and you know what you gotta do to get it back.”
It was truly that simple. There was no grand plan here, no end goal for gaining something, the only thing he wanted, truly wanted, was MJF to come and find him and just try it, to just step up and be a man, someone has taken something that you own, you don’t sit back and bitch about it, you don’t run and cry about it, you fucking find the bastard who had taken it from you and you fucking slug him in the face and you take it back, end of fucking story and that was what he was waiting for. They called MJF a champion now days .. he calls him fucking lucky .. nothing more than that.
“You want this title right here, then you know what you have to do, I’ll be here, every single fucking week, in the back, in the ring, kicking ass or waiting for someone to come and fucking try and murder me, I want it to be you, cause I have to know MJF. I have to know if what happened, was a one time deal, was everything in my life, just by chance, was I good enough to even win the title, where you better than me to take it from me and hold it in the air above me, knowing you beat, someone else to take it off me, I have to know, if you truly are, as good as everyone says you are and the only way that is gonna happen, is if you beat me MJF. If you beat me, really .. I mean really fucking beat me, because until that happens, this title, ain’t gonna be going anywhere.”
A simple man, with a simple goal, with simple means. He is looking for a fight, he is looking for a struggle, for another chance to see, if all of this, if every single thing he has done to get here, if all of it had been fucking worth it.
“Better Than You” begins to blare and the fans immediately jump to their feet with their hatred. Maxwell Jacob Friedman walks out, he doesn’t look in the mood to play his normal games with these moron fans.
MJF looks behind him and slowly Sir William Regal follows. His face and slow motions tell the tale of the beating he got only a week ago. MJF actually walks back a few steps and helps Regal balance as they go down the ramp, the fans even soften a bit seeing a man who commands so much respect in such bad shape. MJF helps Regal into the ring and then grabs a microphone as the music begins to die down.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: Last week was supposed to be a crowning night for me. I was to walk out here with my belt, shined up real nice. I was going to put Finn Balor in his place and with my mentor by my side I was going to show the world that I am the champion of champions here in the UWF, I am the future of this company and this industry,
MJF frustrated looks over to Mr. Regal who is in the corner as usual, but this time really using it for support.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: However; two things happened last week that I want to address and make right.
MJF points over to Mr. Regal.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: An icon of his time. The greatest wrestling mind of his generation and my own personal wise man whispering advice into my ear. He was brutally attacked from behind, left laying in a broken pool of his own blood. An insult to a man that has given his life to this industry for longer than most of you buffoons have been alive. The second thing that happened was Eddie Kingston decided to waddle his ass out here AFTER HAVING LOST ANOTHER MATCH EARLIER. And because he knows he can’t earn a shot at my UWF Intercontinental Championship, he had to steal it. Because that piece of street trash only knows how to steal what he wants.
You can see the anger in MJF’s eyes as he puts his hand on his shoulder where his championship should be.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: So like most of you I thought I’d put two and two together…an equation even the dumbest of you can figure out. And I figured that fat piece of garbage took out Mr. Regal so that it would be easier to steal my championship. But when I visited Mr. Regal’s hospital room, he told me that he saw who attacked him. He saw who beat him half to death and it wasn’t that Burger King gulping, sweat hog of man Kingston who put his hands on my personal council. So it seems two men thought it was prudent to do what they wanted on my big day. So we have a choice here, we can do it the easy way where that man can come out here and explain himself, like a man. Or we can do it the hard way. Which way do we want it to be?
There’s silence for a few moments while MJF walks back to the corner where Regal is. It feels unsure what is going to happen next until…
“I Got Em Hurt” begins to play and the fans are stunned to see someone they weren’t expecting at all. Slowly Jake Hager appears in the entrance way. He is wearing a nice pair of dress slacks and a collared shirt. He walks down the ramp, steps over the top rope and into the ring. He stands in the middle of the ring head held high. The music dies down and MJF immediately walks so he is chest to chest with Hager who is almost a foot taller than MJF, but it doesn’t seem to bother the Intercontinental Champion. MJF raises the microphone to speak, but he lowers it and turns to Mr. Regal. He beacons Regal to stand next to him and he does hobble over.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: Well, it’s good to know you are fine with owning up to what you do. But as I look at you Jake and I look at the shell of a man I have had by my side since I stepped into the UWF, I really only have one question. Who the hell put it in your head that it was alright to ambush and beat down a living legend like William Regal? Who made you think in your mind that it was alright to leave this man, an icon like no other, in a heap of his own broken body? I know you weren’t acting on your own ideas Jake, so tell me who told you to try and take out Mr. Regal like he was a racing horse with a broken leg ready for the glue factory? WHOSE ORDERS ARE YOU ACTING ON JAKE?!!!!
There is a lot of anger behind the eyes of MJF, no cockiness, just frustration and anger. Jake still has a poker face of blankness, but he lightly takes the microphone out of MJF’s hand. He looks over to Mr. Regal who looks almost like he’s cowering behind his protector MJF. Hager looks out to the crowd and then right into MJF’s eyes.
Jake Hager: Yours…
Jake lowers the microphone down, the fans are trying to process what Hager just said. MJF’s face melts from anger to understanding as he kind of shrugs. Mr. Regal behind MJF looks lost and as he’s trying to process what is going on WHAM! MJF spins around and hits him square in the face. Mr. Regal crumbles to the ground and the fans are brought to an almost silent hush. Like a pack of dogs both MJF and Hager begin to stomp away on the body of Mr. Regal who is just in a ball. The fans erupt in anger, but MJF and Hager don’t even register them. A group of UWF officials run down to try and make the save, but MJF and Hager won’t allow them in the ring. Hager picks Mr. Regal up like a dead sack of concrete and slams him back with a thunderous gutwrench powerbomb.
Mr. Regal is close enough to the ropes that several officials are able to pull his unconscious body out of there. Hager looks on fire and MJF has a huge smile on his face as he grabs the microphone from the ground again.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: So, now that we’ve made that right. Eddie Kingston, you have my championship MINE. You didn’t earn it, you sure as shit don’t deserve a shot at it. But this is how fat thugs like you operate. So let me make this perfectly clear you have two options; You can waddle your ass to EC3’s office and give him my title. Go back about your life as being a never was trying to be a tough guy with the rest of the jobbers in the back. Or you make me and my new friend here come get the title from you. Because you aren’t holding my championship ransom to get you a title shot you don’t deserve. That’s not how life is going to work in my UWF. It may have worked for you before with these idiots, but in this new reality that you are in….you work for what you get. Don’t screw with me Eddie because I’ve been fed up with your bullshit for weeks now. And there is nothing I’d love more than to find you wherever you hang out when you are trying to be brooding, cool and dangerous. And then beat your ass into a bloody pulp. Look at what I did to a man who pretended he had my best interests at heart. Now, really imagine what I’ll do to a piece of garbage like you.
MJF drops the microphone, Hager looks still pumped up as he follows MJF up the ramp. The officials are still tending to Regal on the outside as medics are now there with a stretcher.
The scene cuts to the backstage area to show the Mafia backstage angry after being stopped in their tracks by Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton. The camera shows Finn Balor having a conversation with his Hitmen.
Finn Balor
So you mean to tell me that nobody saw that tattooed freak sliding into the ring are y’all really that blind?
Dom is the first to speak as The Hitmen try to cover up this mess.
Mafia Dom
I mean he’s called the Viper for a reason, he came out of nowhere. I was about to crush Cody’s brains out of his head one second then the next second I’m being placed for a punt kick.
Damian Priest
He came out of nowhere boss, I tried my best to stop
but he was too fast, he’s the viper for a reason sir. Right now it seems as if Cody’s backup has finally arrived.
Finn Balor laughs after being informed of the news that Randy Orton is an ally to Cody Rhodes.
Finn Balor
Soooo not only do we have a dad lover on our hands but we also have a viper on the loose. Perfect! Just great! What you two are gonna do is somehow find a way to contain this so-called Viper. Matter of fact , tear it all apart, next week I want everybody to see why we run around here. Next Week The Mafia Will Unleash Hell!
The Mafia then walks off as the camera cuts to the next scene
Revolution has been a very steady night. The crowd are sitting in anticipation. The UWF superstars have started to arrive in their dribs and drabs. The crowd just want something to happen and aren't made to wait long as the titantron flashes on, the tv screens are taken backstage to Uncle Spike Dudley walking around backstage. He has a look of purpose on his face as he makes his way around.
Spike makes his way down the hallway, hard to tell what kind of mood he is in now as he has a steel look on his face..... by no means is he Zoolander though. He sees someone he knows.....the stagehand known as Stacy as he makes a beeline straight for her.
Spike Dudley: Well fancy seeing you here hey? I thought you would have been off enjoying the holiday after the busy WrestleMania season?
Stacy the Stagehand: Work never stops Spike, you know this. You have been around long enough.
Spike: How right you are Stace, how right you are. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Uncle Spike Dudley is absolutely nothing without the hard working people behind the scenes.
Stacy the Stagehand: Well, I have to admit something. Every since I've been seen on UWF TV 3 times now with you, you have actually made my twitter following skyrocket. I gained 1 million followers just from my last appearance so you have helped me out big time with that.
Spike: I'm glad I could be of service to you. If you ever need my help for anything, just let me know and hey, when I get home or a spare moment, consider it 1 million and 1 new followers. I might even get the whole Dudley Clan to give you a follow.....although we are still teaching Bubba how to turn a phone on so don't expect his.
Stacy the Stagehand: I'll keep that in mind if ever I need you but that would be great!!
Spike: Speaking of help, I know these places don't change much as we never even know what city we are in but I'm looking for Batista's office. I imagine it's just the usual spot?
Stacy the Stagehand: You would be correct. It is weird how it's so similar lay out every week.
Spike: Thanks, I'll be on my way then.
Spike motions to go but then has a thought, he wheels back around which startles Stacy as she had turned around to get back to work.
Spike: Hey Stace, please be honest with me....... how well does UWF pay you?
Stacy the Stagehand is taken aback by this question. She looks like she wasn't expecting that at all as Spike looks at her, willing her to answer him. He taps his chin repeatedly
Stacy the Stagehand: Ummmm......... I make enough to be comfortable. Why's that?
Spike: After what happened at WrestleMania, I just hate seeing people that are struggling have to be bought off to break tables because they are living week to week you know. It broke my heart that my nieces and nephews choose money over Uncle Spike so I just want to make sure that people can be comfortable so look, you might not need it but I need to do this to ease my soul a little. Here take this.
Spike buries his hand into his pocket, rustling around searching for something. Stacy the Stagehand seems to be a little impatient, needing to get back to work as she watches Spike pull out $100 bill. Stacy looks at him, Spike willing it onto her as she doesn't look too impressed but Spike has a glowing look on his face as he feels his making a massive gesture. Stacy takes the money, nodding along with a fake smile on her face.
Stacy the Stagehand: Geez, thanks Spike. It means a lot that you could help me out.
You can just hear the fakeness in Stacy's words but Spike doesn't take any notice of it.
Spike: You are welcome. Now I know it's not a lot but Uncle Spike doesn't demand the same kind of money that Hollywood does but it's the least I can do.
With this, Spike gives Stacy a smile before he turns away again. Stacy gives him a fake smile back but as soon as his back is turned, Stacy's smile changes to a scowl. Spike is none the wiser as he is very happy with himself. He makes his way down the hallway as you can faintly hear Stacy the Stagehands voice in the background, "100 bucks, I wish I was at WrestleMania. I would have broken every table in the arena for $10 thousand". The camera concentrates on Spike though as he spots something above a door. He takes a deep breath, being in this position before but not particularly keen on what he is about to do. He takes a few steps forward, breathing heavily as the camera spins around to show a big Hollywood Star on the Day with Batista's name above the doorway in big flashing lights. Spike scoffs, not impressed with the extra effort gone into decorating Batista's door but he sucks it up and knocks on the door. He waits a second before the door opens. Spike looks Batista up and down. Both men seem to be a little standoffish after the war they went through at WrestleMania. Spike has come by himself though which would give Batista the advantage if anything was to go down... well that and being 3 times the body weight with muscles everywhere. Spike looks Batista dead in the eyes now as he continues.
Spike: For months now, you have not only tormented me, you have tormented my family, you have tormented my Stacy, you have kicked my dog in the head and you have not only destroyed my house but destroyed a valuable moment of history in my life when you smashed the replica belt and photo of my winning my one and only International Championship. You have made my life a living hell and I know for a fact that I haven't exactly been your favorite person as of late either...... but Batista.....
Batista is taken aback by this. It has been a while since Spike has used his name rather then Hollywood. It brings a little smile to his face.
Spike: So I see you noticed that I called you Batista and not Hollywood. The reason for that is because at WrestleMania, you earnt my respect Batista. You took everything I had and lifting that bloody forklift off of you to stop me tying it up and taking into extra time was impressive. You did everything you said you would and you took absolutely everything from Uncle Spike Dudley and you are standing here in front of me with not only the win, not only my respect but you are standing here in front of me with that big win you were after.
Batista is beside himself, practically holding himself back from laughing as Spike is pouring his heart out to him.
Spike: I realize now that you are the real deal and one thing I promised myself with my return to UWF is that if someone was the better man, I would go and be a man myself so I'm here Batista to extend my hand, look you in the eye and tell you that you were the better man at WrestleMania. You beat me fair and square and I hope you can accept my handshake and we can move on. Maybe someday down the line, I will get another shot at you but right now, you are the better man and I just want to move onto the next challenge.
Spike extends his hand towards Batista. Looking down at it with a look of hope. He looks at Batista, waiting to see what the big man does. After a bit of silence, Batista shakes his hand.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: It took a lot of nerve and balls to come here, even if you hadn’t said anything but pouring your heart out like that took even more. I’m not going to say sorry but I will say that you’ve earned some respect from me as well, and I wish you luck in the future. Now if you don’t mind, I’m a busy man, so get the fuck out.
The two half smile at one another as Spike turns and leaves, satisfied with himself. Batista sits down at his desk and starts reading over a script as Revolution continues elsewhere.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
When "Lie, Cheat, Steal" by Jim Johnston plays, The UWF Universe See a low rider coming out from the back and drives it smoothly out here onto the stage and rides it straight down towards the ramp away and he pulls to a stop and turned on the switches inside of his low rider an stops it and gets out of his low rider in starts shaking his arms in gets inside of the Revolution ring and climbs up the top rope and beats on his chest and shakes his arms once again and head over towards the other top rope and does the exact same thing beats his chest and does the shake an gets down from the top rope.
Chimel: From El Paso, Texas Weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds Eddie Guerrero! And his opponent...
As the Godzilla trumpets play, the Samoan Submission machine makes his entrance, towel round his neck he strides confidently down to the ring as the crowd erupts into a chorus of boos at his mere prescence
Chimel: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 260lbs, from Orange County, The Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe!
As Joe makes it to the ring, he rolls in and stands up, in one fluid motion he throws the towel to the outside as he lifts his signature finger taunt, making his way to the corner he leans back and cracks his neck, waiting to make a victim out of Latino Heat.
DING DING!
That starting bell rings and the veteran, Eddie Guerrero, brings the fight directly to the Samoan Submission Machine, moving in quick and trying to catch him in a collar-and-elbow. Joe locks up with him, but Eddie's quick to slip around behind and grab him around the waist for the German clutch. Guerrero tries to lift Joe, but Joe plants his feet and Eddie doesn't manage to get him up. After a few efforts, Joe stomps on Eddie's foot, forcing Latino Heat to release his grip, then spins into an elbow to the temple that sends Eddie reeling to the ropes. Guerrero rebounds and comes looking for a lariat, but Joe unloads with an open-palmed strike to the chest that takes the wind right out of him, then connects with a huge, backhanded chop that sends Eddie backward into the corner.
Tom Phillips: We're mere minutes into this match and Eddie Guerrero simply can't find any room to move against Samoa Joe.
Corey Graves: Room to move? Forget about that Tom, he can't even find room to breathe! You could hear that chop all the way up in the cheap seats!
Joe moves in on Eddie and connects with a thunderous knee lift as he practically throws himself at Latino Heat in the corner, causing Eddie to curse in espanol. Joe pushes back with a hand washing Eddie's face, drawing a rebuke from the referee, but he disregards it as he smirks at Eddie and connects with ANOTHER loud chop to the chest! And ANOTHER! And ANOTHER! Joe just unloads with those slow, methodical smacks to the chest, clearly taking all of the wind out of Eddie's sails here.
Mauro Ranallo: Samoa Joe smartly cornering Latino Heat here and each one of those withering chops makes it less likely for Eddie to be able to mount a comeback.
Joe steps away from the corner with a big, bright grin on his face, back turned to Eddie as he absorbs the heat from the fans, who are unhappy to see a legendary fan-favourite being so manhandled. When Joe turns back around, Eddie lurches out of the corner and charges at him, but rather than evade, Joe steps right up in and catches Eddie in a snap scoop powerslam! Eddie doesn't even get to arch his back as Joe immediately makes a cover.
1...
2...
...NO! Eddie kicks out!
Graves: Oh, come on, Eddie – you might be better off just staying down, ese.
Joe moves to one knee, rubbing the tip of his nose with his thumb before looking at Eddie and shaking his head. The bigger man pulls Eddie up to his feet by the hair. Guerrero is visibly dazed, but he throws a pot shot at Joe's kidney, catching him flatfooted. Joe staggers. Eddie builds on one shot with another. And another. Each one momentarily stuns his opponent. The fans are getting behind it. Eddie's punches come quicker, and quicker, and then he goes for a toe kick to the gut. Joe catches that, but Eddie leaps into a leg-feed enziguri! Joe is staggered by that, and Eddie is quick to roll him up from behind, grabbing a fistful of tights as he does so! The fans pop even as the ref misses the blatant cheat attempt.
1...
...NO! Joe kicks out!
Ranallo: Eddie Guerrero tried to steal his way to a victory there, but he didn't quite manage it.
Phillips: Could you imagine? The upset!
Eddie is quick to his feet, which is a good thing because so is Joe and he's pissed. Joe runs at Eddie and grounds him with a simple shoulder block. Eddie kips up, but Joe immediately puts him down with a big boot. Guerrero seems dazed, so Joe moves to him and bends to pull him up, but then Guerrero reveals he was just playing possum as he catches the bigger man with a thumb to the eye! Joe recoils, clutching at his face, which buys Eddie the time to scramble to his feet. Joe rushes him as soon as he's recovered, but Eddie ducks under a lariat that surely would have taken his head off, and as Joe rebounds he does so into a picture-perfect dropkick! Eddie's up to his feet quick, and Joe is up on one knee about at the same pace, but Guerrero allows no separation as he finally has this bout in control, hitting the ropes and coming back with a quick rana to drop Joe from one knee back to the canvas. Eddie then thumps his chest three times and does his little shimmy to the benefit of the crowd, before heading to the apron and up top!
Graves: Eddie's going up to the high rent district but look out!
Just as Eddie makes it up there, Joe catches him with a throat thrust that causes the luchador to drop to a seated position on the top turnbuckle while he gasps for air. Joe pulls him into the Muscle Buster clutch from there, and carries his legendary foe out to the middle of the ring before dropping him with the brutal maneuver. The fans boo loudly as Eddie twitches on the canvas, but Joe isn't done. He decides to put an exclamation point on this thing by basically wrapping himself around Guerrero and locking him in the Coquina Clutch! The fans are booing the entire time as Eddie's lights fade completely. Joe chokes him out.
DING DING DING!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER, BY SUBMISSION:
SAMOA JOE!
Graves: Well this one almost felt academic. Samoa Joe came into this match-up full of fire and fury and Eddie Guerrero simply couldn't take the heat.
Phillips: That may be true, but was choking out the former International Champion really necessary? Eddie's been through so much in his life.
Ranallo: I hate to say it, but all is fair in love and war, and in that wrestling ring you are definitely at war with whoever your opponent is.
The show carries on elsewhere as Joe celebrates his debut win.
As Revolution continues, things head to the local gym where Batista is in the middle of working out.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: People think that I slack on gym time either because of my age or my busy schedule. Well maybe this will shut those people up. Because I can guarantee you that Orange Cassidy hasn’t been to the gym lately. Hell, he probably hasn’t been in a gym since he was in high school. No, Orange Cassidy is too busy in a circle jerk with the Best Friends to do any kind of match preparation. Well I’m not a bed, Orange, so I don’t enjoy being slept on you lazy, scrawny, good for nothing fuck!
Batista hops down, the chains still on him, as he points into the camera.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: If you were smart you wouldn’t overlook me, because I’m on fire, kid, and it’s going to take more than your wimpy little orange juice to put it out! And on that note, it’s going to take more than a punch you stole from Roman Reigns to put me down! Because you’re, what, a buck twenty? Maybe a buck thirty at most? Well I’m two hundred and ninety of rock solid muscle and when you put adrenaline and anger behind that, it’s a freight train that’s going to run your ass over. What, you think because you made it to the, “Final Boss”’s level that you’re on the, “Final Boss”’s level? Not on my worst day or your best. Even if he wasn’t in The Guild I’d still put Goldust above you, at least that’s a guy named after a color that’s actually worth a shit.
In one quick motion, Batista shrugs off the chains as they can be heard hitting the ground.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: But that’s enough talk, it’s time for the, “Hollywood Animal” to get a serving of fruit when I come to that ring and devour you whole!
Batista walks offscreen intensely as Revolution continues elsewhere.
The Revolution feed switches to an interview program from whatever sports network the show broadcasts on. The hosts are bantering about some MLB nonsense while Orange Cassidy lounges in an armchair like the uncrowned champion he is.
Sportscaster 1: Well ladies and gentlemen, today we're joined by Orange Cassidy who just last week made his UWF Revolution redebut against one of its hottest new talents in years, the Prime Time Medalist LA Knight.
Sportscaster 2: And you know, "Freshly Squeezed" as he likes to call himself has really made waves after a strong performance against one of the top talents in the company, generating plenty of buzz on social media. One user even offered to, quote, mail him her panti-
Orange raises a hand as if to silence the hosts, then leans forward.
Orange Cassidy: Gentlemen, please, I'm just going to stop you right there before someone says something that gets you guys cancelled. Listen, whether he's calling himself L... A... Knight or E.. Li... Drake, the guy I chased off last week – I mean, did you see how quickly he ran away after running his mouth all week about being better than me? – is nothing more than A... Big... Loser. I've outright proven it. So as much as the Prime Time Medal is a time-honoured and prestigious prize in the UWF, held by such monumental talents as... Drew McIntyre and... uhh, that guy with all the facepaint who he murdered on live pay per view television, its prestige is being tarnished every single time that chicken shit who carries it, well, is carrying it.
Orange leans back, takes a sip of OJ, and then leans forward again and looks right down the barrel of the camera.
The simple fact of the matter is, he knew he was beat, and if he didn't walk out he was going to lose his medal in the first defense and that'd just be embarrassing. Especially after spending an entire week cutting me down and saying I wasn't anything and that he was going to send me packing. How does it feel, bud? How does it feel to know the guy Ethan Carter paid $20 to ditch the church basement and come save his promotion from mediocre hacks like you was about to put your lights out? The fact of the matter is, you've been exposed, now. So you have two choices: you can either give me the rematch I deserve and see it through to the inevitable end, or you can admit you're a no-talent loser and continue to make a mockery of the medal you call yours.
Orange, in a surprisingly animated display, stands and walks off the set.
Sportscaster 1: I thought he was supposed to be chill? It's 4/20...
The feed moves on.
The action of Revolution moves backstage where we see Edge and Christian in their locker room. edge is seated, holding an icepack to the back of his neck while Christian stands over him, a look of worry on his face.
Christian
Dude, ever since we arrived to the arena, you've basically had that ice pack glued to your neck. There's only two explanations for that. Last night you had some The Hangover-esque adventure and got super plastered and ended up getting a super regrettable tattoo there that you're super embarrassed about other people seeing. Or. You're still hurt from both Batista AND Will Ospreay's sneak attacks on you from last week. And like, I know what I would bet on...actually, I'd likely bet on the tattoo thing cause that would be funny, but still. You look rough man.
Edge
Yeah? Well imagine how Ospreay is gonna feel after I get my hands on him.
Edge's face and voice betray his attempts to hide his pain, you can tell Edge is trying to harness that feeling to keep pushing him, but it really sounds like it's about to push him over the edge, chickypoo. Christian looks up, confused, while Edge, because of the whole neck thing, can't look up, just stares daggers forward... look I had to, it was right there!
Christian
Hand. Singular. And as much as I want to believe that you can beat Ospreay with one hand tied behind your back, that's with your body at 100%. Not with you this banged up and your hand basically being a big target saying "Hey, this part I'm holding? You totally should hit me here!" You're walking around like a video game boss with your weakpoint totally exposed to the world right now! The last thing you need is another injury stint. But! I know you don't want to postpone this match for any reason, so lemme hit you with this proposal...
Christian disappears off camera, in Edge's blindspot and starts rummage around in a locker. He can be heard mumbling to himself about finding the wrong items as he tosses them into frame in front of Edge. First, some hoodies go flying by, then a pair of really nice Converses, then one of those Starter Magician kits, a deck of cards that opens in mid-air, a plushie of the Pokemon Bulbasaur, a wrench and the entire series of Scrubs on Blu-Ray before finally! Aha!
Christian returns to the frame, wearing a wig made to look like Edge's luscious locks. He's got a goofy grin on his face as he points to it.
Christian
I'll just go out there and wrestle as you! I'll have a scowl the whole time, every time I do something smart I'll smart and tap my head. I'll put the word Edge in front of another word and call it a signature. I'm think the Edge-ulator. Cause like, see you later? But Edge? Maybe I'll rename the Killswitch that when I'm dressed as you. Oh man, that's a good one lemme write that d-
Edge
No. If "Edge" is going out there, it's going to be me or no one else. And right now, the card says Will Ospreay vs. Edge. I intend to stick to that. Hell, this'll probably draw Sami Zayn out like the hyena he is, hoping for an easy meal, so all I gotta do is last long enough in that match to bring him out and take him and Ospreay down. I refuse to roll over and die as the Rated R Superstar.
Christian looks dismayed, but has one final idea and the speech to go along with it.
Christian
No. This is where I put my foot down. As your friend, as your tag partner, I'm not letting you walk into the slaughterhouse. I've had your back on countless occasions, and this is one of them. I cannot let you go out there tonight. This isn't you rolling over and dying as the Rated R Superstar, it's living up to being the Ultimate Opportunist. That's not just about you capitalizing on any opportunity, it's keeping your opponent from capitalizing on opportunity too. So I've got one last idea, erw-
Christian is interrupted by a knock on the door to their locker room. Christian looks at Edge with a perplexed look. They have a quick silent conversation about who it could be, whether it's Sami Zayn or any of his cronies when the knock comes back, a little bit more forceful now. But they can hear a voice on the other side
DING DONG HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
Edge and Christian exchange surprised glances. That's no goon on the other side. That's Bayley! Just as Christian is about to go and let her through, the "Good Guy" barges into the dressing room, damn near breaking the door off the hinges. She glances back over her should at the damage after the clumsy entrance
Bayley
Oh... sorry... my bad... I though it was stuck.
Christian
I mean it was locked. I guess if you look at it one way, locking something is intentionally making it stuck...
As Christian's mind starts to wander off into space with his thoughts, Edge brings him back down to reality.
Edge
Hey, so, uh... what's up?
Edge seems happy for the distraction - to take his mind off the pain, to take Christian's mind off of worrying so much, maybe a little bit of both. Bayley looks from one blonde bombshell Canuck to the other as she unloads.
Bayley
Ok so... look... I've kinda got a little problem with Kyle and I need some help. Despy's back in Japan right now, Granna and my dad are in Cabo, I think Larry blocked my cell and Mark's advice always ends up just being a workout routine.
Edge
So naturally you came to us.
Christian
Oh man, we're the back of the line? Harsh...
Edge
But nevertheless.
Edge would shoot an angry look at Christian if his neck would allow him to move without searing pain. Bayley takes the opportunity to make a quick recovery.
Bayley
I mean... welll... nobody here knows my step-bro better than you two! You guys were in the nWo together, right? The gang that took over this whole show in a manner of weeks?!?1! The crew that flipped the script?!?
Christian
Yeah, those were the days.
Captain Charisma tilts his head back and stares off into the clouds, reminiscing about the glory days. Before they can get trapped in another Snickers flashback rabbit hole, though, Edge snaps back to reality.
Edge
Emphasis on "days" rather than say, oh, "months" or even "weeks", but yeah, it was fun while it lasted. But you know what they say?
Christian
Who?
Edge
Us.
Christian
When?
Edge
Then.
Christian
Oh. Right. nWo for life!
Edge
Exactly. How can we help?
Bayley smirks, knowing that she came to the right place.
Bayley
Its just that Kyle's been so down in the dumps ever since losing the Prime Time Medal at Wrestlemania. Like, yeah, sure, he's still got the Hollywood Championship, but its like he doesn't even care. He's gutted. LA Knight's running around bragging about beating him all the time, and I thought that getting a big win over a guy like Eddie Guerrero might cheer him up but honestly? I think its getting worse by the day. Any tips on how I can get him his smile back?
Edge
First things first, you're gonna wanna check his blood sugar.
Bayley
Been there, done that. Its fine. It's the soul that needs an insulin injection.
Christian
Okay, well, in that case... back when we were all hanging out together before being systematically hunted down by that spooky serial killer guy, I always got the impression that Kyle wasn't, like, a typical kinda guy, ya know? So whereas your average, red-blooded American thirty-something male might be pulled out of a slump by a gesture like, oh, I dunno, tickets to a ball game or plate full of cheeseburgers, or a day out at the zoo, or maybe a fishing trip, I don't think Kyle's gonna get his groove back until he's got himself something to fight about again.
Edge
He always was keen on a good ol' ultra-violent blood feud. Nothing quite like being on the verge of death to help you feel alive.
Christian
Exactly! A little exhibition match with a nice guy like Eddie Guerrero isn't gonna scratch that itch. No... no... what you've gotta do is help your step-brother move on to his next nemesis. Once he's got an archenemy to fixate on, running behind just to keep his back in view, lose sleep over, and spend hours in the dojo visualizing the brutal demise of, he'll be right as rain.
Bayley
Yeah... yeah... yeah that sounds good. Hell, it sounds great. Wow. Thanks guy, I owe ya one! I don't know how I'll pay ya back, but rest assured, if you ever need me, I'll come running. Even if it means putting myself in danger. No matter the odds.
Christian
That sounds aggressively specific.
Edge
Uh-huh...
Bayley:
Ciao!
With that, Bayley takes off to find her step-brother, leaving E and C to continue their conversation from earlier.
Christian
She's a good egg. Anyway, what was I saying? Something about the zoo?
Edge
Something about a plan? And if it involves the zoo I'm telling you, I don't think we can fool EC3 by putting a gorilla in a mask and letting him-
Christian
Right! My plan for tonight! If you don't want me to go out there and wrestle as you, I'll just go to EC3 and have him change the card to have it as me wrestling Ospreay. I've got my own gear here tonight too and if it gives you time to recover before this next phase with Sami Zayn and his Goon Squad, then I'd be a fool not to take it.
You're a fool in general, but I actually agree with Christian. You need to take at least the week to make sure we're not doing irreparable damage to your neck. Edge sighs and finally relaxes a little, though still in pain, the tenseness of the situation was causing him more pain and letting that go appears the be the first step of his recovery.
Edge
Fine, you both have me out-numbered here. I'll go to the trainers and get myself examined and let Christian go convince EC3 to let him take my place. You both happy?
Christian
Generally speaking, I'm always happy man. I'm happy you're listening to reason for sure. But in this whole situation? I won't be happy until we've made Sami Zayn, Will Ospreay, El Generico and La Luchadora pay. We may be out-numbered, but I'm sure we'll find a way to even the odds.
Edge
Out-numbered, huh?
Edge rubs his chin with his free hand looking at the destroyed door to their locker room where Bayley had just left as the scene fades away and Revolution plows forward... Ok maybe plows forward doesn't work, let's just roll on and we'll try again next week.
As, “See Me Shine” by Bone Thugz-n-Harmony begins to play, the UWF fans immediately begin to boo as they know who the theme music belongs to and who they’re inevitably about to have to look at. Not missing a beat, out walks Batista with the Hollywood Championship proudly on him as he makes his way down the ramp to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Washington, D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds. He is the reigning Hollywood Champion and the leader of The Guild, the, “Hollywood Animal”, BAATIIISSSSTTTTAAAA!!!
Batista goes to the nearest turnbuckle and ascends it, using the opportunity to show off the belt once more before stepping down and getting ready for the match ahead.
As the riff kicks in to Jefferson Starship's "Jane," the man known only as "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy emerges from the back to an uproarious pop from the crowd. Sporting his aviators and his magnificently coiffed hair, Cassidy walks coolly down to the ring, hands in his pockets. He doesn't seem to be in a hurry, and as he reaches the end of the ramp, he pauses to offer a weak fist bump to a fan holding a thumb's up out over the barricade.
Tony Chimel: From... wherever... and weighing in at... whatever... he is "Freshly Squeezed," Orange CASSIDY!
Cassidy then heads up the ring steps lazily and eases himself between top and middle ropes, before moving to the middle of the ring and throwing up a half-enthusiastic thumbs up to a pop from the crowd. OC heads to the corner and lounges there as he removes his aviators and awaits the beginning of the contest.
DING DING DING
Batista walks to the center of the ring and sticks his chin out. He's being a man of his word and offering Cassidy a free shot. Orange just looks around at the crowd who are all heavily cheering for him to give Big Dave a taste of some freshly squeezed justice. OC casually walks up to him and slowly kicks at his shins. The crowd is going wild, reacting with each shot until he takes a few steps back for gear up for the big superkick but Batista puts his hand up in Cassidy's face. He then walks right past him, shoulder checking him as he walks to OC's side and picks up his bottle of orange juice. He comes back over and opens the top before handing it to OC.
Corey Graves: The Hollywood Animal is losing money every minute he's in the ring with this oaf so he wants to cut right to the chase. Smart.
Tom Phillips: Not sure how smart it is handing Orange Cassidy some OJ right off the jump but we'll see.
Mauro Ranallo: It's a bold strategy Tom, let's see if it pays off for him.
Orange takes the juice and takes a sip. It's good shit but he closes it up to save some for later. Batista doesn't want that though. He takes the bottle away from him and takes a large swig himself. He closes it back up and tosses the half empty bottle over his shoulder and then spits it right in OC's face! The fans are booing the ever loving shit out of him as Cassidy slowly wipes away his juice drenched face which is a phrase I did not intend to ever write. Batista is laughing it up but that soon stops when Cassidy jumps forward and knocks his lights out with an Orange Punch! Big Dave goes down and Orange makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
But Batista gets the shoulder up at the last second!
Mauro Ranallo: Orange Cassidy just almost rolled credits on his match right there!
Corey Graves: Batista's an actor Mauro, he's just building suspense like any good movie.
Even with just a little sip, Cassidy is feeling energized and he picks up Batista from behind. It looks like he's setting up for the Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista grabs him in a Headlock and just straight throws him to the side. Cassidy gets up in the corner and Batista rushes at him. OC slings through the ropes and Batista rams into the turnbuckles. OC goes to the top rope and comes off with a Crossbody! Batista however manage to catch him in mid air. He walks to the center of the ring and shakes his head. He lifts OC up for a Scoop Slam but Cassidy kicks his feet and falls behind him, giving him a Dropkick to the booty causing the Final Boss to stumbles forward into the ropes. He bounces off them chest first and walks back into Cassidy's waiting arms as he lifts him up and plants him with the Blue Thunder Bomb!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Batista kicks out! Cassidy looks down at Batista and gives him a half hearted thumbs up as if to say, good job thus far. He gets back to his feet and brings Batista up along with him. He goes to lift him onto his back for a Beach Break but suddenly he seems to run out of... well... juice and falls to his knees. Batista himself looks a bit shocked but it looks like Cassidy might be out of gas. He starts to crawl over to the ropes towards his bottle of OJ that's laying out on the floor but Batista grabs him by the ankle and pulls him away just as he's reaching under the bottom rope to escape the ring. Batista lifts his leg into the air and slams the knee down into the mat. Cassidy yells out in pain and grabs at his knee but Big Dave ain't done yet. He reaches down to grab Cassidy's head with both hands and lifts him up 3 feet in the air before slamming his head back down into the mat over and over again.
Corey Graves: I hope your happy now OC, you brought this on yourself!
Tom Phillips: It's a wrestling match so this is all legal but that doesn't mean I have to like watching it.
Corey Graves: Aww what's a matter Phillips? Your new favorite already getting put in his place? I'd start looking around for someone else to root for because Orange Cassidy is done for.
Batista hoists Cassidy up with one big motion and slams him back down with a Choke Bomb! Orange grabs the back of his head and rolls over to avoid any more head trauma. Batista just laughs and opens his arms up to the crowd as if to say "Are you not entertained". He grabs OC and brings him up to his feet. He throws him into the corner and runs over to gives him a Running Clothesline in the corner. The King of Sloth Style is looking like he might slump on down but Batista keeps him upright before delivering a flurry of Shoulder Thrust in the corner until the ref counts to 4 and has to practically pull him off of Cassidy.
Orange looks out of it but looks over and sees his bottle of juice just waiting for him. Beads of sweat dripping down that bottle only make Cassidy lick his lips from thirst. Instead he gets a boot to the side of his face and Batista starts to wash his face in the corner. He grabs Cassidy by the hair and pulls him to the center of the ring where he puts him in a Full Nelson! He's tossing Orange around like he's well... a piece of fruit until he slams him to the mat in a Full nelson Slam! He places his boot on his chest for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Cassidy kicks out!
Mauro Ranallo: Not going to win many matches with a cover like that.
Corey Graves: Batista could end this any time he wanted. It's about sending a message.
Tom Phillips: Weren't you the one who said every minute he's in the ring with Cassidy he's losing money?
Corey Graves: It's not losing money when you love what you do.
Batista grabs Cassidy by the hair and pulls him back up, lifting him over his shoulder. He gets ready to give him the Snake Eyes but Cassidy falls off behind him and shoves him into the corner. There's not a lot of force behind it so Batista is able to stop himself from colliding with the turnbuckles. He turns around and runs at OC but gets caught with an Orange Peel! Batista pops back up and almost gets taken down with another but the sheer size and strength allows him to plant his feet to prevent going over. Instead he pulls Cassidy up into a Vertical Suplex! Rather than just go for a simple suplex, The Hollywood Animal opts to keep him in the air and let the blood rush to his feet. He even gets cocky and decides to do it one handed. Big mistake as Cassidy shifts his weight and comes down into a DDT! He flips Batista over for the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Batista kicks out! Orange looks out of it but looks over to once again see that glorious bottle of OJ. He drags himself over to the ropes and falls to the outside. He slowly rolls over and gets the juice, opening it up to chug it down. Batista comes to in the ring and realizes what's going down he exits the ring but as soon as he does, OC kips up and looks him dead in the eyes. Batista goes to Clothesline his head off but Cassidy ducks it and when Big Dave turns around, he eats a Superkick to the jaw! He gets turned around from the impact and Cassidy throws him shoulder first into the steel steps!
Mauro Ranallo: The Juice is loose!
Corey Graves: I don't see Juventud anywhere!
Cassidy doesn't waste any time picking up Batista and throwing him into the ring. He follows him in and Batista goes to the corner to pick himself up. Cassidy is there to give him a few Knife Edge Chops to make sure his Orange is sliced. He brings the Final Boss to the center of the ring and attempts of Michinoku Driver but it's clear Batista is simply too big. Batista shoves Cassidy off of him but OC just hits the ropes and comes back with an Orange Punch! Only to get caught with a Spear in mid air! Batista makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Orange Cassidy gets the shoulder up at 2! Batista looks up at the ref and argues that it was a 3. The ref isn't hearing it as Batista gets to his feet and walks to the corner, ripping off the top turnbuckle pad. He comes back over to Cassidy and drags him up by his hair. The ref is yelling at him, telling him he'll DQ him if he throws him into the corner. Cassidy however fights back with some punches to the gut to break free and a Step Up Enziguri! Batista is staggered and the ref retrieves the turnbuckle pad. He comes back into the ring to put it back on while OC comes over to Big Dave. The Animal lashes out with a Headbutt that drops OC to a knee. Batista smiles but suddenly Leyton Buzzard slides into the ring. He runs past Batista who isn't quick enough to comprehend what's going on as Leyton springboards off the ropes and connects with Air Leyton!
Corey Graves: What's Leyton Buzzard doing out here!?
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like he didn't take too kindly to Batista putting him through a table last week.
Buzzard is out just as fast as he came while Batista goes down to a knee. He's clearly dazed and Cassidy gets to his feet thinking the Headbutt affected them both pretty equally, not even aware that Buzzard just came in. No matter, he rushes forwards and knocks Big Dave's block clean off with an Orange Punch! The ref turns around and counts the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Orange Cassidy!
Cassidy gets his hand raised and gives the crowd his best thumbs up. Batista appears to wake up and looks around wondering what happened. The Guild come out from the back and tell him what happened and point to Buzzard in the crowd. Batista balls his fist in anger and slams it on the mat as he stares down Buzzard. Cassidy just shrugs and heads to the back as the show moves on.
As Revolution rolls on, we head backstage. Tonight, there is no interviewer. There is no casually forgetting a pretty girl's name intentionally or unintentionally. Tonight, it's just a man, And that man is your Prime Time Medalist; it's LA Knight, As the red light comes on, Knight begins to rattle off his thoughts,
LA Knight: 'Ya know something? All week, L..A...Knight has been asked the same annoying question. "L....A....Why did 'ya get yourself counted out against Orange Cassidy last week?"
"Where 'ya afraid LA?"
"I know 'ya had to be worried about losing 'ya Prime Time Medal!'
LA Knight: Over and over; the same nonsense. L...A....Knight's Twitter blowing up with people saying "Freshly Squeezed" in L....A....Knight's mentions. Annoying photoshop jobs of L...A....Knight drowning in a kiddie pool full of a mimosa. How insane does that sound? And after an entire week, L...A....Knight is tired of it. So for those of 'ya out there that are uneducated....and L...A....Knight assumes that's all of 'ya sitting in the stands and all the monkeys in the locker room....Let Me Talk To 'Ya!
Knight pauses momentarily; carefully thinking of his next words.
LA Knight: When L...A....Knight came back to the UWF in November, L....A....Knight wasn't gifted anything. Hell, L..A....Knight's first match was against a bonafide scrub. And yet L...A....Knight did what L...A....Knight needed to do. It was very obvious early on that it didn't matter how long L...A....Knight had been gone. L...A....Knight still had it! And if there was any doubt, L...A....Knight proved it at the Royal Rumble. Because not only on that night did L...A....Knight beat a former World Heavyweight Champion and Hall of Famer; but L...A...Knight stole the damn Royal Rumble match itself. L...A....Knight entered that match at Number 3 and lasted until the end. L...A...Knight was in that match for over sixty minutes. Anybody that was anybody important said L...A....Knight was going to win the Royal Rumble. But it didn't happen. L...A....Knight had to watch as someone else took his spot in the Main Event of WrestleMania,
LA Knight: And to a lesser man, that would've been a life shattering defeat. But L...A....Knight is not a lesser man. When it was all said and done, the jabronis in the back were finally saying "Hey, this LA Knight guy is pretty good" And while L...A....Knight didn't get his main event match; L...A....Knight might've gotten something better. L...A...Knight doesn't care who the World Champion is...at WrestleMania, L...A....Knight fought the best UWF has to offer and L...A....Knight beat him straight up. Now, L...A....Knight and Kyle O'Reilly probably won't be exchanging Christmas cards this year, but L...A....Knight can't lie. We made history. L...A....Knight said if we can't be the main event, we're gonna steal the damn show. 'Ya can argue that we outproduced the World Championship match. But what 'ya can't argue is that we took this....
LA Knight holds up the Prime Time Medal.
LA Knight: And we FINALLY made it mean something!
LA Knight: L...A....Knight is saying all of this to say, that at the Royal Rumble, L...A....Knight earned some form of adulation by lasting longer than everyone else. L...A...Knight earned the respect of a former World Champion by beating him in the middle of that ring the same night. And L...A....Knight earned this Prime Time Medal by taking the baddest man in UWF to the limit and pushing him past it. L....A Knight has earned EVERYTHING he has accomplished....
There's a brief moment of vigor and anger in LA Knight's voice. He takes a deep breath before continuing; with his tone returning to normal.
LA Knight: What....has....Orange Cassidy...earned?
LA Knight:Don't worry; L...A....Knight will wait.
Knight pauses momentarily.
LA Knight: Don't hurt yourselves dummies. Allow L...A....Knight to answer that question for 'ya. Orange Cassidy hasn't earned a damn thing. He didn't deserve to be in the ring with L...A....Knight. But because he's the shiny, new toy around here, Orange Cassidy was allowed to be in the Prime Time. AHT AHT! The Prime Time is reserved for the elite. And that ain't Orange Cassidy, jack! As a matter of fact, as L...A....Knight looks up and down this entire roster, L...A....Knight only sees one person worthy of being in the Prime Time. It ain't the crooked politician masquerading as World Champion. It ain't the son of a son of a plumber with the terrible neck tattoo. And it certainly ain't someone that wrestles with his hands in his pockets. The only person worthy of being in the Prime Time is standing right in front of 'ya. He's the Million Dollar Megastar; he's UWF's top draw; it's L...A....Knight.
LA Knight: Somewhere along the line, L...A....Knight thinks that a lot of 'ya have forgotten just exactly who L...A....Knight is. And L....A....Knight thinks it's time that we correct that. 'Ya could be the World Champion; L....A....Knight is better than 'ya. 'Ya can be the Intercontinental Champion; L....A....Knight is better than 'ya. Television Champion; L...A.....Knight is better than 'ya. That fake Hollywood Championship; L...A....Knight is better than 'ya. The ridiculous "Forever" Champion; L...A....Knight is better than 'ya. The entire roster, L...A....Knight is better than all of 'ya. Just because there's a few new play things around here, L...A.....Knight doesn't want any of 'ya to forget exactly whose game this still is. And that's not an insult. THAT'S....
Knight pauses one more time for dramatic effect.
LA Knight: 'Ya know the rest.
And with that, Knight pie faces the camera man and walks past him as Revolution rolls on.
Back from commercial and we see EC3 looking at his cell phone screen whilst sat at the desk in his office. Some footsteps can then be heard and EC3 looks up to see that Drew McIntyre is now stood directly in front of him.
Drew McIntyre: Heard you wanted to speak with me?
Wishing to give McIntyre his full attention, EC3 puts his phone down in his desk drawer before bringing his hands together to issue the Scotsman with a response.
EC3: Yes… it was just to say that whilst I am pleased to see you’ve wasted no time in making an impact since rejoining us here Drew, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t pass on some concerns that have been brought to my attention with regards to how you have been treating UWF personnel that aren’t on the active roster. The fallout of that is I’ve spent more time lately than I care to admit trying to keep lawyers off both our backs, and I’d rather make a point of not inviting any additional interest from them, but I can only do that if I’ve got you completely on board.
Drew McIntyre: Relax, Carter. If I wanted a first class ticket to a jail cell then I wouldn’t have bothered coming back here in the first place. For starters, everyone that’s found themselves a little worse for wear since my return are purely collateral damage, and frankly it was their own fault for getting in the way of my business. Also, if any of them cared to listen in to what I had to say last week instead of coming to you to complain, then they’ll know that those I have eyes on are guys that should in theory be more than capable of making an attempt to defend themselves. So if you want to keep Goody Two-Shoes, Attorney at Law off your doorstep, tell your workforce to start keeping themselves at least an arms length away from me, because I'm telling you right now that I won’t be held accountable for my actions should anyone be stupid enough to try and restrain me from what I actually intend to do here.
EC3: I’ll be sure to pass on the memo at the next staff meeting…
Drew McIntyre: And make sure to emphasise to the officials that they needn’t worry about the prospect of overseeing my matches, so long as they do as they are paid to do and call things correctly. I’d heard whispers along the lines of nobody in a black and white shirt wanting to share the same ring with me after the events of Rebellion and Wrestlemania. But rest assured, if they do their jobs the way they are supposed to and keep their noses out of trouble, then no trouble will come to them. I give you my word on that one. Now, are we done here? Or do I need to provide more justification for the simpletons of the world?
EC3: No that was pretty much it. Thank you for your time Drew, and keep up the good work…
Not fully certain if EC3 was genuine with the compliment or not, an emotionless Drew stares for a couple of moments before nodding and then turning to head back out the office. As EC3 watches him disappear, he returns to his drawer to collect his phone as the show picks up elsewhere.
VS 
DING DING DING
Both men on high alert, They lock up jockeying for position, Christian gets the upper hand through his slight height advantage, He is sent into the ropes Christian on the rebound leap frogs over a dropkick attempt from Will, who rolls to his feet as Captain Charisma bounces off the rope, this time Ospreay turns into a spear attempt, He slides right through the legs of Christian as he appears on the other side, He runs to the ropes using them to springboard backwards towards Christian looking for a Oz Cutter, but Christian meets him at the launch zone as he pushes will back into the ropes causing the Aerial Assassin to go through the middle rope, Ospreay catches the top rope as he leans back using the ropes to catch Edge with a boot to the side of his head, Christian stumbles backwards, Ospreay pulls himself up and over the top rope, spring boarding, He attempts to connect with a drop kick, It connects right on the chest of Christian sending him bumping hard off the canvas, The crowd are on their collective feet from the hot start to this encounter…
Mauro Ranallo: “Both men going at 100 miles, Counter after counter…”
Ospreay is already over Christian as he yanks him to his feet, Ospreay has bad intentions he goes for an unprettier to rub salt in the wounds, But Christian rotates out of it brother, He connects with a boot before snapping Ospreay to the canvas with a snap ddt, who’d have thought?…
Christian isn’t finished as he takes a few steps back he goes for a punt but misses wildly, Zayn has pulled Young Will from danger, Christian begins yelling at Zayn to stay out of his business, Ospreay catches Christian by surprise and drags him down for a roll up, The Referee is in a cover position the referee counts:
1..
No Christian powers out from the surprise rollup…
Tom Phillips: “Ospreay almost stealing one from Christian, with the help of Sami Zayn”
The two men quickly get back up to their feet, with Ospreay getting the upper hand as he delivers a series of stiff kicks to Christian’s midsection. Christian tries to fight back with a punch, but Ospreay ducks it and hits him with a quick roundhouse kick to the head.
Christian falls to the mat, but he quickly rolls out of the ring to catch his breath. Ospreay follows him outside and goes for a high-risk move, Zayn gets onto the apron ready to assist young Will by holding the legs of Christian down, Edge has other plans as he pulls the legs from right under Zayn causing him to go face first into the ring apron, Ospreay leaps off the top rope and attempts a moonsault to the outside. But Christian manages to dodge out of the way at the last second, causing Ospreay to crash hard onto the canvas…
Tom Phillips: “Christian getting outof the way, Zayn seems to possibly cost the Aerial Assassins game plan by trying to help…”
Taking advantage of his opponent’s vulnerable state, Christian quickly climbs up to the top rope and leaps off with a frog splash, connecting perfectly with Ospreay’s body. He goes for the cover, and the referee counts:
1…
2…
No, Ospreay kicks out, showing his resilience and determination to win this match.
The crowd is on the edge of their seats as both wrestlers continue to give it their all. Christian tries to keep up the pressure by delivering a series of kicks and punches, but Ospreay responds with his own strikes and even manages to connect with a devastating enzuigiri that sends Christian reeling.
Corey Graves: “Ospreay going for the enzuigiri”
With Christian down on the mat, Ospreay climbs up to the top rope once again and launches himself off, this time with a shooting star press. But Christian manages to get his knees up just in time, causing Ospreay to crash hard onto them.
Seizing the opportunity, Christian quickly grabs Ospreay and sets him up for the Killswitch. He lifts him up and spins him around, but Ospreay manages to slip out of it push Christian into the ropes…
Ospreay ducks the lariat attempt, Christian turns its right infront of him as Ospreay brings him down to the canvas hard with the springboard into the OZ CUTTER, Ospreay hooks both legs the referee gets in position and counts…
1…
2…
3…
DING DING DING
Tony Chimel ”Here is your winner by pinfall… Will Ospreay!”
Christian is stirring as Ospreay has his hand raised in victory, Ospreay looks over to Zayn who slinks into the ring, chair in hand, Zayn goes to swing but from the apron the chair is caught mid swing, Edge yoinks the chair before giving Zayn a taste of metal before entering the ring, swinging, The chair makes a thud as it bends across the back of Zayn…
Wait its El Generico and Luchadora coming from the crowd area, They enter the ring as the begin swarming Edge and Christian, Ospreay begins raining down a few stray boots alongside Zayn who is back on his feet. The Zayn and his three proteges continue raining down pain upon their two targets…
Bayley and Kyle come storming towards the ring, Kendo sticks in hand, Generico and Luchadora are met with a kendo to the face as they go down hard, Zayn goes for a lariat but is met with a dual kendo stick for his troubles, Kyle swings andmisses Ospreay who just gets under the bottom rope as the kendo stick snaps in two. The four trouble makers back their way up the ramp as Edge and Christian begin to get to their feet. The two groups stare daggers at eachother as we move on…
When the scene starts Eddie and Eve are seen driving down the road in their new low-rider
with the top down, Eve's LWO bandana is blocking the wind and they both wearing trademark
shirts,
Eddie has his arm hanging out of the car as they have their Spanish Rap music playing through
their
speakers. Eddie taps the thumb on the steering wheel as he stares off at the road in front of
UWF arena. The
camera man is siting in the back seat watching all of this. Eve looks away from the trees that
fly by one after another and then looks at Eddie.- and exit out of the vehicle and head inside of the UWF building and enters the doorway and heads straight towards the locker room and closes the door right behind them
The Wonder of UWF| Eve Guerrero Torres: So Honey Eddie. is it official? are we gonna be part of that engagement party on Thursday Revolution Holmes?
Latino Heat'|Eddie Guerrero: of course Mamacita! we're Los Guerreros ese! We may lie... cheat... and
steal... but their is another tradition in the Guerrero family and that's me of winning. and when I say win Win...
I mean I have to win gold!
The Wonder of UWF|Eve Guerrero Torres: I'm feeling ya there Papicita I mean look at these
random people. I know they are here for our engagement party but I don't think
I can't handle this party without you Papi since you're having a match tonight against Samoa
Joe. then promise me that you'll kick his Tubby fat ass in that ring and promise me that you come back to me and celebrate our engagement party.
Latino Heat' | Eddie Guerrero: Woa... hol it right there Mamacita. Before you continue on...
I would like to invite some UWF Superstars and legends to our engagement party tonight
if that's okay with you Mamacita and when I get through with Submission machine Samoa
Joe. you have my word that I will be there for our engagement party but right now I have to take care of some business right now that's your Husband me will go into that ring and beat
the holly hell outta Samoa Joe on Revolution.
The Wonder of UWF| Eve Guerrero Torres: I see what you mean Papi go handle your business in the ring and I'll set up the engagement party for us and I will invite our UWF friends and family to our engagement party Okay Papicita.
Latino Heat'| Eddie Guerrero: Oh I almost forgot about something the random people like Cody Rhodes, Hulk Hogan Jimmy Heart and Batista The Miz Goldust Drew McIntyre Kingston and most important The Rated R Superstar Edge.
The Wonder of UWF|Eve Guerrero Torres: these all the UWF superstars that you want to invite them to our engagement party find Eddie. I see what i can do but just make sure that you get back here for our engagement party cause I don't want The Mafia or Mafia Dom to crash my engagement party okay Holmes.
Latino Heat'|Eddie Guerrero: Well scratch them off the list cause they are not welcoming to our engagement party understand mamaicita now if you excuse me I have to get ready for my match with the Submission Machine Samoa Joe. so wish me luck mamacita and I will see you after my match and we can get this engagement party started when I get back from my match on Revolution.
The Wonder of UWF|Eve Guerrero Torres: Eddie wait before you head on out there's someone that I got a huge Surprise for you and i can't tell you who it is cause you might spoil it for the rest of your friends and family now run along now and make sure you win this match for the both of us okay Papi.
Latino Heat'|Eddie Guerrero: you have my word Mamacita and I will not miss our engagement party just some stupid match with Samoa Joe. on UWF
(Eddie smooches his Wife Eve Guerrero and walks on out of the locker room before he heads out towards the ring to prepare for his match with Submission machine Samoa Joe)
The Wonder of UWF|Eve Guerrero Torres: now that Eddie's is gone let's set up the engagement party before my husband Eddie. returns back to the locker room.
[Ms Guerrero opens the locker room door and invites all the UWF Superstars including some legends as well but they asked Eve to help her out with the engagement party while Eddie is in the ring fighting for his life]
There's a brief lull in the action on tonight's episode of Revolution, so we cut away to a series of commercial breaks. After a few words from various sponsors, we come back to the shot of an American flag waving triumphantly over a gorgeous setting sun. Somber music begins to play in the background lightly and just then, a professional feminine voice begins to speak in the easily identifiable tone reminiscent of campaign commercials.
FEMALE VOICE-OVER:
"Nowadays, it seems like every day, there's something new that divides us from our fellow countrymen. Every day, we stray further away from each other, divided by endless debates."
We see a shot of a person endlessly scrolling social media, followed by recorded footage of two men arguing at a coffee shop. Just then, footage of different talking heads from Fox News, CNN, and other news sources begin to play.
FEMALE VOICE-OVER:
"Whether it's a debate about philosophy, systemic racism, religion, healthcare, gun rights, gender identity, classism, reproductive rights, women's rights, labor unions, or anything in between - it feels like now, more than ever, our country is as divided as it's ever been."
As the voice-over lists off different hot button issues, a series of news headlines flash across the screen. It's a bit overwhelming for a wrestling show. But just as things look as bleak as they can get, a resounding bit of triumphant music begins to play"
FEMALE VOICE-OVER:
"But now, even in these darkest of times, there shines a light brighter than all who came before him. Now, citizens of the United States have someone who can they look up to! Now, we finally have something that people from any ethnic background, any orientation and any gender can agree on - that HE is a WRESTLING GOD. "
Now, we see shots of a flower blooming, friends embracing, a black man and a white man shaking hands, and children frolicking before slowly fading back to black. The voice-over continues to speak over the black screen.
FEMALE VOICE-OVER:
"Thank God for John "Bradshaw" Layfield."
Just then, JBL emerges from the shadows, wearing his infamous white cowboy hat, and holding a big cigar between his lips. He strikes up a match and casually lights the cigar before grinning widely and flashing a stack of $100 bills to the camera. The video slowly comes to an end with the lasting impression of John "Bradshaw" Layfield's cheshire cat grin being the last image.
As Revolution rolls on we cut backstage to a big door with the words 'C.U.N.T War Room' cellotaped to the wall with a makeshift piece of paper serving as a plaque. The camera fades and suddenly, just like magic, we're in the room. There's beer bottles, there's big cigars hanging from ash trays with some familiar music playing in the background.
As the camera pans around the room we see a large whiteboard with some photos attached to it, one of 'The Butcher' Andy Williams. one of Lance Cade and at the top sits a photograph of the UWF Champion, Trevor Lee. Suddenlly Shark Boy walks into the scene to the roaring approval of the crowd, he's sporting a soldier's helmet and a military jacket with the arms ripped off, his arm quite clearly still heavily taped. Shark Boy pulls out a pool cue which he will go in to use as a pointer.
Shark Boy: ATTENTION YOU SORRY SONS OF FISHES!
The camera pans to show both Grado and Paul Burchill standing to attention for their leader, Grado in full military grab and Burchill in his usual pirate attire.
Didn't I tell you we're going with a theme this week Captain Paul?
Paul Burchill: Ah... yes, sorry. Two seconds.
Grado: Told ye...
Burchill reaches behind him and pulls out a helmet to match Grado's.
Shark Boy: Much better... NOW... why we're here, Captain Paul, GI Grado, we are on the precipice of war, namely a war not for land... not for monetary gain... but a war for pride, a war for glory... and for the UWF Heavyweight Championship of The World... and I have to ask you two men... are you ready?
SIR YES SIR
And are you ready to lay everything you have on the line to get what we deserve, because I sure as shell am!
SIR YES SIR
And are you ready to whip Trevor Lee's bass and send that lunatic packin' back to that backwater hillbilly shanty town he claims to be Mayor of, Harlan!
Grado: Eh... hawd on.
Shark Boy: Yes, GI Grado?
Grado: Well it's just... I don't know, I think I've got PTSD or somethin' man, I don't know if I can go back there after what happened to me.
Shark Boy: Look Grado, nobody said we're going to Harlan, we're just whippin' some Harlan bass and your knowledge is going to be crucial to the cause... I need you both on board because we know now that Trevor Lee here, this sorry son of a fish at the head of it all - he's behind it all. The kidnappin', the torture... everythin'. He pulled the wool over our eyes and I can admit I let my guard down just a little and we paid for it big time at Rebellion and at Wrestlemania. That is why Trevor Lee stands today as the UWF Champion but last week I punched my ticket to the rematch at Backlash and now we know that Trevor Lee really is the mastermind behind it all - there ain't no issue of trust, there ain't no doubt - that maniacal son of a fish ain't to be trusted, he ain't to be entertained and what we're entering now heading into Backlash is nothin' short of war so I ask again gentlemen are ya with me?
SIR YES SIR
Now we have to talk strategy... Captain Paul, do you have any input?
Paul Burchill: Well I'd start with 'The Butcher' because without their meat I don't think Trevor and Lance could feed themselves enough to put up a big fight...
Shark Boy: You know he's not literally a butcher right?
Paul Burchill: Oh is it like a nickname?, sorry I didn't know... let's move on shall we, Grado?
There's a lull in the conversation as both Shark Boy and Grado stare at Burchill who looks at the ground and anywhere in the room where eyes can't meet him...
Grado: Right, I've been there, I've been to Harlan and I seen it before anybody else. These guys. Lance and Butcher, they'd die for Trevor Lee. They're all in, believe me when I tell ye that so you better believe they're probably thinking of ways to get rid of us right now. So what I'd suggest is going after them first. Element of surprise.
Shark Boy: Well cod damn son, I didn't figure you to be a damn tactician... but you're right. We have to go at these two big bastards because they're like a damn wrecking crew. They've whipped all of our basses before at one time or another but I'll be damned if I let it happen again. We have to go at them, we have to take them out of the picture because I know if I get Lee on his own, no distractions - I can whip his bass and take that UWF Title back home where it should be. So men, I ask again, are we ready to take the fight to these Harlan bastards?
SIR YES SIR
Shark Boy turns now to face the camera
Now Trevor... I hope you're listening and I hope you're ready. You fooled me once and yeah, shame on me. You ain't gon' fool me again - your mask has slipped and the whole world sees you for what ya are... nothin' more than a cult leadin', psycho, con-man son of a fish. On the road to Wrestlemania you took out my boy Grado, you damn near broke my arm, you beat the shell out of all of us and you took the fight to us... now?, we're takin' the fight to you, to your boys and we're ready to burn Harlan to the ground if needs be. Tonight The C.U.N.T. declares war on the residents of Harlan, and I declare war on you Trevor Lee, whatever it takes, whatever I have to give - I'm ready to lay it all on the line to beat you at Backlash. So I'd watch yer back, I'd keep yer boys on the lookout because you just don't know when this shark is gon' bite ya... AND THAT'S THE FISHIN' LIIIINE... COS SHARK BOY SAID SO!.
Shark Boy rips the photo of Lee off of the whiteboard and rips it in half before he heads off elsewhere, Burchill following behind. Grado stops for a moment looking at the photos of Butcher and Cade - slightly hesitant before heading off behind his stablemates.
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall and is your Main Event of the evening!
"Better Than You" begins to play and there is a tidal wave of boos from the fans. After a few moments MJF begins to swagger out of the entrance way with Jake Hager on his six.
Chimel: Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Jake Hater, weighing in at 216 pounds from Plainview New York. He says he is better than you and you know it, the Intercontinental Champion, Maxwell Jacob Friedman, M...J...F!!!!
The fans erupt even louder and MJF doesn't pay them any mind. He walks into the ring and stands in the middle, flexing a bit and smirking as his music fades. Hager takes a stand at ringside.
For a few seconds, all is silent in the arena, as the lights dim into darkness. The fans are left with nothing to see, nothing to feel but anticipation...and as a technological-sounding tune begins, a lone spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp, paving the way for an opening to form, and for one man to rise from beneath.
Coming from his own domain, the UWF World Heavyweight Champion has his arms outstretched, his attire bathed in white, with flowing robes of purity having been donned by the one and only God of Professional Wrestling...
As the build finally comes to a close, with a much more energetic beat forming...and as soon as those first words sound out?
"THE ROAD I WALK IS PAVED IN GOLD"
"TO GLORIFY MY PLATINUM SOUL"
THAT is finally what begins the entrance of the World Heavyweight Champion.
Chimel: And his opponent, From his mayoral residency in Harlan, Kentucky, weighing in at 220 lbs...he is THE REIGNING AND DEFENDING UWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'Mister' Trevor Lee!
With God having emerged from beneath the stage, He walks on with a massive grin on his face, all while showcasing just what he had taken back at Wrestlemania: The UWF World Heavyweight Championship. Proudly showcasing His Harlan Gold to those around him, Mister Trevor Lee would take their hatred, their vitriol and their disdain by simply turning the other cheek, just as his fellow Gods have taught him.
Even then, though, Lee would know that he still isn't done. There still is a match to be won, and a performance to be delivered upon these future devotees, so for now, He hops onto the apron of the ring, holds up the UWF World Heavyweight Championship with one arm, and with the other? Two fingers are extended, as He looks to bring himself right back...
"TO THE MOON!"
Entering the ring, Trevor would spin himself around quite a few times with his arms outstretched, before dropping down to his knees with a massive grin on his face. His head tilts up to the sky, eyes closed with a big grin on his face, before slowly bowing his head. Muttering a silent prayer to himself, Lee would take the moment...before popping up to his knees, and heading off to the corner, prepared as much as He can be for this next Godly test.
With both men ready to go, Tony heads out of the ring and the referee calls for the bell...
DING DING
The self-described "Wrestling God" is caught up basking in himself when the bell sounds. He's in no rush to get things going no that he's all holier-than-thou and such. Max - a Jewish Man - has absolutely no reverence to spare for Lee or his cultish, southern-Bap-vibe bullspit and scoffs at the self-important hick. Friedman gestures towards his opponent with a thumb and says to the Ref something to the affect of "get a load of this guy". Of course, the third man has to maintain impartiality, so even if he agrees with the criticism, he isn't allowed to say so.
Soon enough, Lee comes down from the proverbial pulpit to get his hands dirty. He extends his hands and closes the gap, looking to lock up with the Intercontinental Champ. Max makes like he's eager to engage with the most-recent Rumble winner, reaching out his own arms for what looks like it's be a classic Greco-Roman Knuckle-Lock start to this contest. As Trevor goes to engage, however, Friedman sidesteps the guy and lets him breeze on past. To add insult to insult, Max dusts off his shoulder as the World Champion misses.
Phillips: I don't know what's worse - Trevor Lee being so delusional or MJF being so arrogant.
Ranallo: Gone are the days of the UWF having inspiring Champions for the fans to get behind, save for the ones who are inspired to get behind guys like these so they can chase them out of town.
Graves: God you're corny, Mauro. What we've got here here is a tale of class warfare - of the North versus the South. This is pro-wrestling Americana at its finest, not to mention a pay-per-view worthy Champion-against-Champion main event, and all you two can do is mope about how inferior these winners make you feel. Its pathetic.
The Mayor of Harlan isn't too thrilled about getting big-leagued by the New Yorker, and so turns on a dime and clobbers him across the back of the head with a pair of home-run forearms. There's a flash in Lee's eyes when he strikes - one that's more and more familiar with him - one that exists beneath the political and righteous veneers - one that's downright sadistic as it is desperate. That's the fuel that revs the engine as he crashes into his foe. The impact sees Max hitting the deck and rolling out under the bottom rope to recuperate.
Just as quickly as the violent turn cam, Lee simmers back down to a more tranquil, in-control state of mind. While MJF is powdering on the floor, Trevor strolls around the ring, enjoying himself and making it crystal clear by the everything about him that right now, he's the man on top of the mountain.
Meanwhile, MJF's new heater Jake Hager comes over to offer up some sage advice. The collegiate grappler / MMArist / former UWF tag team champ massages his boss man's shoulders, getting him relaxed and focused while the Referee starts up a ten count.
1...
2...
Ranallo: You won't find a better mind in the game than William Regal's, and given the success Max just had at Wrestlemania with the Villain backing him, I can't believe he's traded in for a new cornerman.
Graves: In my opinion, William Regal is responsible for that stolen Intercontinental Championship currently being in the possession of Eddie Kingston. Now that MJF is a champion, he needs somebody around who can protect his assets, and what better man for the job than Jake Hager?
Phillips: Yeah, these two sure do deserve each other.
3...
4...
Nearing the halfway point of that disqualifying count, Max takes a deep breath and climbs back on to the apron. He barks at the Official to make Lee give him some space, even though Trevor is already at the far side of the ring. The Mayor beckons his fellow-Champ to come on in and test himself against a "Wrestling God", and the unmitigated gall of that spurs Max into action.
Friedman comes through the ropes and charges across the ring. Lee meets him head-on and they lock-up collar-and-elbow. Max quickly transitions into a side headlock, only for Lee to find his way out of that by wrestling an arm free and applying a hammerlock. The IC Champ winces before rolling through to relieve the pressure. As he escapes that hold, however, Trevor catches him with a headlock takeover that plants Max's shoulders into the canvas. Harlan's Mayor leans in on him for the cover...
1...
MJF pops a shoulder up early and uses that momentum to carry Lee over to get him caught up in a pinning predicament going the other way. The Referee slides over to make the count...
1...
Again, there's no second count when Lee breaks loose this time. Trevor attempts to be the first man up only for Max to swipe his legs out from beneath him, causing the UWF Champion to crash back down to the canvas. Max sprawls for the cover...
1...
Lee shoves him away, and in the ensuing scramble, catches his opponent with a roll-up from behind! The Referee is really getting a workout, popping up and down and diving all over the place. He's right there to make the count again, though...
1...
Trevor hooks the tights for some extra leverage!
2...
But Max breaks free in time! His kick-out sends Lee rolling towards the ropes off-balance. Friedman capitalizes hastily by snagging himself a schoolboy. The Ref is so hustled-out that he doesn't even notice Max grabbing the ropes to give himself the cheater's advantage with the cover...
1...
2...
Lee reaches a frantic hand out to snag the bottom rope, which, lucky for him, the Official does see and therefore stops the count.
The ensuing separation sees both competitors tumbling away from one another like whatever the opposites of magnets is, neither wanting to risk another pin attempt lest they be caught by a counter. This is normally the part of the match where the crowd would give it up for the display of technical prowess except the UWF Universe hates both their guts so instead its just dueling boos as the people entertain themselves by trying to jeer one dude louder than the other.
The "Wrestling God" uses the ropes on one side of the ring to steady himself as he stands. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a Jake Hager lurking like a sneaky croc in the swamp waters of his native Kentucky. He hastily retreats away from the perimeter of the ropes, telling the Ref to tell Jake to keep his distance even though technically the guy didn't even do anything yet.
Phillips: Trevor Lee looking a bit weary about that mountain of a man at ringside...
Graves: Given what we saw Hager is capable of earlier tonight, you can't blame him.
Ranallo: The Mayor boasts a stable of his own imposing brutes. I'd say its worth noting that Cade and Williams are both absent in the new UWF Champ's first match since picking the strap up at Wrestlemania.
Graves: He's ascended to a divine state, Mauro. He's more than capable of winning a simple exhibition match by himself.
Both MJF and TL are a smidge more hesitant about engaging now. They circle around the edges of the squared circle, waiting for the other man to make the first mistake. The lull in action only draws more vitriol from the fanbase, who, bah gawd, actually start up a "BORING" chant when thirty seconds or so pass by without any violence.
Both Max and Trevor take the commentary from the peanut gallery to heart, and each man on their own turn their attention towards the crowd to chastise them for the interruption. This shared umbrage - this spectacular coincidence - this "jinx" moment - then sees the two champs turn back to face one another. Like Vince McCauley and Lieutenant Vincent Hanna in the diner, they opposing forces of human nature can't help wonder if maybe, just maybe, they aren't so difference after all?
They slowly approach the center of the ring, never breaking that stern eye contact. Two men. Two champions. Two bad guys. The Mayor and The Mensch. Could they not be the next Mega Powers? Could their forces combined not be even more effective than opposed? They reach the middle, curiosity and possibility sizzling around the edges of their unbroken gaze. They extend hands... to shake? To embrace? To put aside these petty differences of what title is better and who is the real big dog in the yard so that they can dominate this sport together forever? To form an Unholy Alliance like Shang Tsung and Quan-Chi did that one time?
Nope. No chance. Those aren't handshakes incoming. These devious, sinister sons of guns were faking playing nice, and in further cementing their similarities, they cement their irreconcilable differences when they simultaneously reach up and slap each other in the their faces!
Phillips: Stereo slaps!
Ranallo: I believe those were open-palm strikes!
Graves: All palm strikes would have to be open, wouldn't they?
Call it what you will, the impacts of hands to cheeks have UWF and IC Champ alike welting in an instant. That just kicks things to the next gear, and in a matter of mere moments, they're slugging it out with much more closed styled hands techniques. Wrestling prowess and finesse be darned - this is a slugest now.
The action soon abandons the province of vertical base as it spills down to the canvas. Its like a gosh dang Saturday morning cartoon scrap, with a flurry of fists and feet shooting out of the dust cloud, aggressor and aggressee indistinguishable in a dust cloud of grit and gumption.
They roll towards the ropes and then under them and then off the apron and then on to the floor in an unceremonious heap. Jake Hager circles around the ring to get involved but a severe warning from the hawk-eyed Official has him minding his P's and Q's.
When Lee finally breaks free of Max to get to his feet, the former highschool football sensation tackles him around the midsection and drives him spine-first into the barricade. Its right around then that the Ref gets sick and tired of pleading with the fellas to get back in the ring and starts a ten count...
1...
2...
Max clocks the count and goes to crawl back on to the canvas, except Trevor won't let him! The Mayor grabs him by his size eleven boot and hauls him back off the apron before he can break the count.
3...
Lee pulls his opponent into a waistlock from behind, and before Max can say "Jack Russell Terrier", the UWF Champion is vaulting him backwards into the cold, hard arena floor with a German Suplex!
4...
They're splayed and splattered out on the ground, but obviously Lee's in a bit better shape at this point. He gets up on his hands and knees, matted hair plastered to his brow with a cocktail of his own and foreign sweat. Looking up from victim to horizon, he sees Hager once again hovering over the scene like a Police chopper, the howls of the Ref's warnings between counts all but lost on the blonde lummox...
5...
Phillips: If Hager lays one finger on Trevor Lee, you know this Referee is just going to throw the match out.
Ranallo: It would be a shame to see this contest of Champions end like that, but like you said earlier, Corey, Jake Hager is here to protect Max's assets and that includes MJF himself.
6...
Lee gets to his feet, fists balled, ready to to take on the one-time Anarchist Jake Hager. Look it up. Hager is the fresher man, not to mention the larger man, but that doesn't phase the self-proclaimed "Wrestling God" one iota. The man is so steeped in his reality distortion field that he's ready to take on whatever gets thrown at him.
7...
It never comes to that, though. Jake was never going to attack. He was just a distraction - one that gave Max some time to recover. MJF stands up on shaky legs and looks to sneak back into the ring while his foe's back is turned. Except Lee hears him stirring and turns around to cut him off before he can.
8...
The Mayor tackles Max into the apron. They bounce off the hard edge like bumper cars and tumble directly into the steels steps, dislodging the top and lower sections as they both spill back to the floor. Lee crawls up the wreckage towards the corner of the ring, knowing that there isn't much time left now...
9...
Max dives on top of him, looking to crawl over and past like a Black Friday Shopper. The both of 'em are just crabs in a bucket, though, clawing and climbing against rather than together to ensure that neither is able to max it across the threshold in time to beat the count...
10...
DING DING
THIS MATCH HAS BEEN RULED A DOUBLE COUNT-OUT!
No song hits the PA as the two Champions continue their fruitless struggle to get past each other. The fans, who have kept themselves busy this whole time in lathering the competitors with all of their hate, spare some of that spit to boo the non-ending to this bout. At the very least, they'd have loved to see at least one of them get knocked out.
Ranallo: An evenly contested bout between two of our champions comes shy of finding a conclusive ending. The record books will show a double count-out to close out the night.
Phillips: It isn't quite the avenged loss for Max nor the display of dominance Trevor wanted. I think coming out of this we're left with more questions than answers. Who really is the better champion?
Graves: Well obviously its - oh! Hey now! Here comes security!
As Trevor Lee and MJF continue to tussle, a gaggle of security goons and producers and spare Refs rush down to break up the fight and save the two top stars from themselves. It takes more than half of them just to keep Hager at bay while they separate the stubborn opponents, both of whom are yelling at each other about how they're the better Champ as Revolution comes to an end.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Joe vs Guerrero - Crann
Ospreay vs Christian - Jye
Cody vs Dom - Willybounce/Evolution J
Cassidy vs Batista - Danny
MJF vs Lee - Fauche
