Post by Danny on Jun 9, 2023 5:12:45 GMT -6
We head to the arena where the pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello and welcome to Revolution! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Tom Phillips: We got an action packed show for you guys tonight so let's head down to the ring for the first contest!
Tony Chimel: The Following contest is scheduled for one-
The lights in the arena suddenly go out, and Revolution is very much not rolling on just yet, as the titantron begins to be filled with static as electrical hisses are heard over the speakers before.
We cut to the Firefly Funhouse as Ramblin' Rabbit is shaking with his lil hands moving and rubbing at his head, as he's speaking to himself.
Ramblin' Rabbit: Where'd they all go, where is everyone, i can't hear them anymore, are yall there, i can't hear you, I can't-
The screen suddenly begins to be filled with static and glitches before it quickly turns to a colorful test screen.
After the high pitched beep goes for several seconds the screen glitches again as the feed comes back to life showing Bray Wyatt swinging back and forth speaking out as he does.
Bray Wyatt: A man can so easily get lost in the woods, every tree different enough to not be familiar but similar enough to look familiar. An when you brave those trees man you start to hear things, ya start to find yourself. And not your best self, nah man ninety percent of the time when ya get lost it's then when your true fears come through. When panic begins to set in and every lil thing that could go wrong becomes a possibility running through yo mind. Some can hyperventilate when lost alone in the woods, the sheer weight of their fear too powerful to carry, but some power through...They can keep surviving and make it through. But that's the word right there man, did ya hear the ever important word? Surviving, not thriving, not becoming better, because when ya'll are faced with yo selves ya don't get better ya can only hope to survive it long enough to be saved or perish. Vinny calls himself a horror king man, a crown he wears with pride and all I hear him talk about are accolades and accomplishments, he wants to be recognized and beloved for cruelty but that ain't what I'm about...I ain't no king...ya see me down the ways and you'd think he's but a regular man, but there's the rub Vinny. You wear a crown, ya wear the horror movie icons all over your clothes ya carry your axe, you are in all senses a King because ya want a throne to sit upon and everyone to hold you higher than everyone else. But lil ole Bray Wyatt man, I'm beyond accolades, I'm beyond thrones...The Oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is Fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown...and you Vinny, you don't know me any more than anyone who sees me and thinks me but a regular man. I am the face of fear, and upon your claiming of horror as your domain you've set yourself up to learn more than most what I truly am. You dream Vinny, you dream nightmares of blood and steel and you attempt to interpret them as visions of your future atop the world...man, do you know how many wise men have interpreted dreams, only for the Gods to laugh. That's yo problem man, the most merciful thing in this world you know is the inability of the human mind to correlate all of it's contents. But ya seem ready to learn my man, ya seem ready to head straight long into that forest to lose your mind and find your soul. Well if you're looking for your soul Vinny, I'll help ya find it...just remember how blissful it was when ya didn't know any better. Cause once you're surrounded by trees, and leaves, and silence...Once the world around ya is nothingness but the sound of your own breath fillin your lungs, that's when you'll long for help....long for the attention you're truly after instead of what you thought you were. But by then, you'll be in the middle of the forest...and all you'll be able to do...is...Run.
The static hits the screen and suddenly the feed changed to a shot of trees and sunlight, with only the feint sounds of insects chirping. The shot driftingly pans to the right, as nothing but ambient noises of nature can be heard. After a few eerie long moments of silence a tree branch snaps and the camera stops. There's a pause before suddenly Bray Wyatt suddenly walks into the shot.
Bray Wyatt: Hey...Ya Wanna see something...Real Scary? Heh Heh..Hahahahaahha
Brays hand grabs at the lens blackening the image when the image suddenly gets full of static once more.
When the feed fixes itself we're met with constant static and close up shots of random things as an unfamiliar voice begins to speak.
Do you know who I am? I am your friend...and that may come as a big surprise to you...because Bray himself thought I died alone, a long long time ago. But no no no...Not me, We never lost control. But this crossing of our paths isn't truly important, not as important as what I have to ask you...cause My question for you, Vinny...is Do you think this is just for fun? Do ya think this is just another go around? Do you Feel...In Charge of your life right now? To many I am a ghost, of the man who sold the world. But We never lost control Vinny, So gaze that gazeless stare upon me and know, I am all of us. Shhhh...I've got a secret to tell you Vinny, We never lost control. Do you wanna know our Secret? You gotta promise not to tell, because it's a big secret Vinny... We never lost control. You have to be careful because Secret Secrets are no fun...Secret Secrets, H̴u̶r̷t̶ Someone. W̵E̶ never lost-
Static once again engulfs the screen fully instead of short spurts, when once again a familiar intro plays.
We return to the firefly funhouse, as Ramblin' Rabbit is face down motionless, the camera zooms out slowly and it slowly reveals tea cups all around him and Bray Wyatt pointing down at him and laughing uncontrollably.
Bray Wyatt: HAHAHAHAH I TOLD YOUUUU! Hahahah Ramblin' Rabbit with his bohemian ways was never gonna be able to handle that Tea of yours!
Alexa Bliss: I did warn him to go easy on it, hee hee, It was My Special Tea after all..My Special TEA! My Specialty, My Special Teaaaa-
Bray looks down the camera and his eyes pop wide with the cartoony sound effect to go along with them.
Bray Wyatt: Hii My little Fireflieesss I'm sorry for all those technical Difficulties, it seems Blissey and I might have gotten a lil ahead of ourselves and missed a few fixes to the place before we got it all up and running again, we even tried to welcome everyone in the funhouse back witha tea party but alas it's seems someone left the door open...and some of our friends have been in and out Haha.
Alexa Bliss: Oopsie, We just wanted to get a breeze in here, and I thought the dust added a real Lived in feeling to the place but I guess you were right. We needed to keep things nice and tidy for all our special guest, I'm sowwy.
Bray Wyatt: Oh Shucks, I can't stay mad at you! HAhahahah I mean I'm sure a lot of our fireflies at home have trouble keeping their rooms clean or tidying up their belongings. The important thing to know is sometimes, when you're all full of clutter, it helps to clear everything up so You can Heal.
Alexa Bliss: But now that we have all this all this free space tidied up, we have so much more room to do Activities! We can Play all we want now!
Bray Wyatt: hahahah That's right Lexi, but before we have our fun...We gotta remember, our new friend Vinny is waiting to play with us too. And we wouldn't want to keep his highness waiting Forever now would we?
Alexa Bliss: Hmmm well I don't know if we would or not...Bray, how long is Forever?
Bray Wyatt: That's a very important question Bliss, well Forever is...Sometimes...Just...One....Second....
The music swells as Bray stares into the lens with a cold look on his face. before he suddenly smiles and waves.
Bray Wyatt: Byyeeeee See ya Soon! See Yaaaa Real Soon!
Both Bliss and Bray wave goodbye as we return to Revolution.
Backstage we see Renee Young standing by for an interview.
Renee Young: Please welcome my guest at this time, The Destroyer, Drew McIntyre…
Drew walks into frame with the sounds of faint boos from the crowd being heard in the background.
Renee Young: Now Drew you actually requested this time before your match with Cody Rhodes tonight, so I must start by asking what exactly is on your mind?
Drew McIntyre: Surprising isn’t it? After weeks of being treated like crap and wanting to steer clear of social interactions, here I am actively seeking out the opportunity to speak in this type of setting. As to what’s on my mind, perhaps the word enlightenment is most fitting. I find myself feeling enlightened and inspired to a degree after I finally accomplished a set goal and encountered no additional resistance from doing so. Think of it like fitting another small jigsaw piece in to the bigger puzzle that I am here to solve. That Renee is what you call progress.
Renee Young: I assume you are of course referring to your victory at Backlash over Eddie Guerrero?
Drew McIntyre: I wouldn’t say I’m one for milking things, but the fact that Señor Guerrero didn’t show up last week after I left him in the mud is a pretty good indicator of a job well done I’d say. It’s just unfortunate though that the satisfaction gained from that experience couldn’t be returned on the company’s part by giving me a spot in the King of the Ring tournament. As I touched on last week though, that foolish decision is entirely on them, and I hope they know that by putting me up against Cody Rhodes this evening, all they’ve done is given me with a consolation prize in the shape of yet another mule to torture as I see fit.
As Renee tries to follow up with another question, McIntyre raises his finger which immediately prompts her to back down whilst he continues to make his point.
Drew McIntyre: Whilst this is an instance of wrong place at the wrong time to a degree, despite his storied career Cody very much falls into that category of people in the UWF that I am trying to eradicate. A Hall of Famer and multiple time World Champion that’s now basically bottom feeding and showing that he doesn’t have the necessary requirements to hang at the top anymore. Where’s the appeal in that, huh? It’s both pathetic and makes a complete mockery of the sport, so perhaps a spell in the ring with yours truly tonight will make him realise that enduring horrendous pain for a future shot at glory simply isn’t worth it in the grand scheme of things.
McIntyre then walks out of frame in order to prepare for his match with Rhodes as the camera transitions elsewhere.
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare come out to a huge ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
As the sound of metal clashing echoes around the building, “Wish It Away” by Psycho Dalek starts to play and out from behind the curtain steps Drew McIntyre, ready to get down to business. The Scotsman slowly walks towards the top of the ramp and takes a moment to stop and look at the ground, before throwing his head back and beginning his walk towards the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Ayr, Scotland. Weighing in at 265 pounds. He is The Destroyer, Drew McIntyre!
As the self-proclaimed Destroyer reaches the end of the ramp, he makes a turn towards the steel ring steps and takes another pause before smacking the top of them with his open right hand, not once, but twice, before climbing them and entering the ring through the middle rope. Once inside, McIntyre heads for the opposite turnbuckle and climbs to the top rope in order to perch and observe his outer surroundings for a moment before dropping back down and unclipping his ring coat in order to prepare himself for the upcoming contest.
VS 
DING DING DING
Both men come to the center of the ring and tie up. McIntyre almost immediately gains the upper hand and backs Cody into the corner where the ref counts to 4. McIntyre slowly lifts his hands up and pats Cody on the chest like a child. Cody gets angry and jumps at him, putting him in a Side Headlock. Drew lifts him up for a Back Suplex but Cody flips over and lands on his feet. Cody kicks him in the gut and then falls to his back and gives Drew an Uppercut to the jaw that sends McIntyre reeling into the corner. Cody gets to his feet and runs at Drew but The Destroyer hits him with a Back Elbow. Cody backs up a few paces and lens over. Drew comes in to maybe go for a Powerbomb of sorts but Cody ends up lifting him over hs back and delivers an Alabama Slam! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
McIntyre kicks out! Cody brings him back up right away and bends him backwards, looking to end this early with Crossrhodes. Drew brings his knee up and hits Cody right in the face and he backs off. Drew comes running over and Clothesline Rhodes over the ropes to the floor below! He follows him outside the ring and picks up Cody only to give him a Back Suplex on the apron! The fans in the front row are booing Drew but he doesn't pay them any attention. He picks up Cody and throws him right into the steel steps.
Tom Phillips: The Destroyer is certainly living up to his name.
Mauro Ranallo: I think the name refers to how he destroys his opponents but it might also include property damage as he seems to use his environment to beat them down.
Corey Graves: He's been pissed every since he came into this company and the last thing you want to see is a pissed off 6 foot 5 Scotsman.
The ref stops counting at 5 and just heads out of the ring and tells McIntyre to bring Cody back in. Drew tells the ref to shove it as he picks up Cody and throws him into the barricade! The ref goes back in and starts counting but Drew rolls under the bottom rope just to roll back out and make him start back at 1. He gives an evil smirk as he picks up Cody and hoists him over his shoulder. He points to the corner of the steel ring post and looks like he's going to lawn dart him into it but the former Television Champion wiggles free behind him and shoves him into the ring post, McIntyre's head colliding with the cold hard steel! Drew falls to a knee and Cody runs and gives him a Punt Kick to the head, shades of his friend Orton!
Mauro Ranallo: Cody Rhodes just showed Drew McIntyre that two can play dirty.
Corey Graves: What a sick freak he is.
Cody picks up Drew and rolls him back into the ring. He hops onto the apron and lies in wait as Drew gets back to his feet. Cody springboards onto the top rope and comes off looking for the Cody Cutter but McIntyre cuts him off in mid air with a massive Clothesline! He grabs Cody right away and drives him into the mat with a Spike Piledriver! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Cody kicks out! McIntyre brings Cody back up to a vertical base and kicks him in the gut. He hooks both arms in a double underhook to set up the Future Shock DDT but Cody can feel the danger and rushes forward, backing him into the corner. Cody gives him a few more Shoulder Thrusts for good measure. He then grabs Drew and tosses him out of the corner before seating himself on the top rope. He comes off to deliver a Bulldog from the second rope. Knowing that's not quite enough, he gets to his feet and measures Drew as he begins to rise. He runs past him and comes off the ropes with the Disaster Kick! He goes for the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
The Destroyer kicks out!
Tom Phillips: Cody nearly kick McIntyre's head off with that one!
Corey Graves: I'd be careful if I was Cody. I wouldn't get in a battle of kicks with Drew otherwise you'll find a Claymore coming your way.
Cody picks up Drew from behind and once again sets up for the Crossrhodes. Drew this time just straight overpowers him and manages to awkwardly shove him off. He gets to his feet but comes off the second rope looking for the Cody Cutter. Drew catches him in mid air and instead lifts him onto his shoulders. He's gonna go for the Gutbuster but Cody slides off his shoulders and starts to throws some jabs, catching him off guard. Drew is dazed by the punches and Cody winds up for the Bionic Elbow but McIntyre knocks him clean out with the Glasgow Kiss! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Cody kicks out! Drew leans over him and just starts hammering away at him,. clearly a bit frustrated that he hasn't put him away yet. The ref warns him about closes fists and says he has no problem disqualifying him should he continue. Drew drops Cody and walks to the corner, leaning down to prepare for the Claymore. Cody comes to and gets to his feet. He slowly turns around and McIntyre comes running at him but Cody ducks the Claymore! Drew pops back up but this time finally eats the Cody Cutter! Cody picks him up and sets up the Crossrhodes one last time but again Drew gets the knee up to the head. Cody is dazed a bit but swings on Drew as he gets up. McIntyre goes back a few paces but swings right back. Cody staggers a bit but comes back with a right of his own. The two are slowly exchanging power blows but Cody decks McIntyre good and he stumbles backwards into the ropes but just bounces off them and comes back with a Claymore! Cody goes down and McIntyre makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Drew McIntyre!
McIntyre gets his hand raised and he looks down at the fallen Cody. The camera cuts to the back to show Finn Balor watching on shaking his head, clearly disappointed with Cody for failing to win. McIntyre looks into the camera and says he wants stronger competition as Revolution rolls on.
Revolution has been everything you have expected it to be and even more. The crowd are buzzing, the superstars are buzzing, just buzzing all around the place. The scene fades to black, leaving everything in darkness before the titantron and tv screens flash back into life. The crowd are greeted by a familiar face. Everyone loves this face as it's the backstage interviewer Renee Young.
Renee: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm Renee Young and could you please welcome my guest at this time..he is a quarter finalist in the King of The Ring, a former International Champion and the Smallest Dudley to come from the land of Dudleyville. Please welcome Uncle Spike Dudley!!
Spike walks into shot, giving Renee and wink and a smile before he mumbles into the mic.
Spike: May I say that you look absolutely SMOKING tonight Renee.
Renee rolls her eyes, Spike is quite impressed with himself before he has a think....has he heard that joke before. He can't quite remember but it seems familiar but he just pushes on, he will claim it as his own until someone tells him otherwise.
Renee: Very funny Spike. I actually haven't had one in ages but let's not bring that up. I can imagine you are a busy man and a nervous man with your matchup tonight so let's dive straight into it and get your thoughts about that match up against Edge tonight.
Spike listens to Renee, still smiling along as he finds his voice to answer the question that wasn't really a question.
Spike: Tonight Renee, I fight something has been hindering my whole life. Something that has always been around and has always cause me hurt and pain. I am not the only one in this fight either, this certain thing is an everyday thing but still causes lots and lots of misery. You see Renee, tonight I put up a fight against the Boss of the Edges. The EDGE some people call him but not me....no no I call him my next victim.
Renee looks at Spike weirdly, not quite understanding what he is saying. It's like Spike senses her confusion and taps her on the shoulder and nods at her.
Renee: What exactly do you mean Spike?
Spike: Well Renee it's quite simple. When I was born and got dragged out of Mumma Dudley, everyone cheered. Everyone was so happy. Dr Dudley gave himself a high five and Bubba Ray and D-Von set the traditional Dudley Table on fire when I arrived....not sure how that was possible but they found a way. Nurse Dudley nearly jumped out of her skin but everyone was happy. I was a big healthy baby boy. That is where the story of Uncle Spike Dudley started what happened next was a big turning point. I was placed in my little birthing bed whilst everyone else celebrated. Nurse Dudley gave Dr Dudley a big kiss...something we later found out that wasn't on as Nurse Dudley was cheating on Husband Dudley with Dr Dudley but that isn't anyone's business but they gave each other a big kiss but what happened was Nurse Dudley had put Uncle Spike Dudley on the EDGE of the bed. Little did they know, I was a pretty smart baby and I managed to roll myself in the first seconds of my life...unfortunately for me though, I rolled straight of the EDGE of the bed right onto the floor. A thud was heard and I had hit the floor. They do say that may be one the reasons I'm only 120 pounds soaking wet with 2 rocks in my pockets as JBL would say.
Renee nods her head along with every word Spike said but the look on her face shows that she has no idea what Spike is going on about.
Spike: So that happened when I was a baby. As I got older and older, my hips started growing wider and wider. Not as wide as Bubba Dudley's mind you but still wider. So in the Dudley household...we had a pretty big dining room table. We had to...we had a pretty big family so this thing was huge. Everytime it was dinner time, we would all run to the table because if you weren't first and stuffing your face.......well you just didn't get fed. So we all sprinted and trust me, you all know my story in UWF. You know how many times I've had my ass handed to me on a silver platter, you know how many times I've been busted open and you know how many times I've turned up to work battered and BRUISED.......but I'll tell you this right now, no one has left me as bruised as the Dudley's Dining Room table and do you want to know what was the main perpetrator? It was the EDGE of the dining room table.
Spike grabs his backside, reminiscing about the pain the edge use to cause. It brings flashbacks to him but he shakes it off and continues on with his story.
Spike: But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst thing happens to 100 million people a day. No matter how many times you walk past it, no matter how far out you spot it and make note of it, no matter how small it is......over 100 million people a day stub their toe on the EDGE of a coffee table. I've known people that have broken their toes on the EDGE of those things. I've known people that has lost their toes on the EDGE. In the middle of the night, little bit hungry and just want a snack and out of nowhere.....an EDGE appears and gets you.
Once again, Spike thinks back remembering all those studded toes he has had in his life. He bends down, touching his toes as Renee just looks at him like his lost his mind. He leaps back up and continues on like nothing has happened.
Spike: The biggest EDGE i have come across though is everytime I think I'm not good enough...everytime I have a set back in my UWF career....everytime someone proves themselves right when they run me down and then beat me....I drive up to that cliff and I look over the EDGE. I stand there, thinking I may jump, thinking what else do I have to fight for. If I jump off the EDGE, the UWF world would be so much better if I go over this EDGE....but every single time, that glimmer of hope stops me. Every single time, I realise that I am greater then the EDGE and I don't let it get the better of me because I remember that I am a fighter. Just like everytime I drive up to the top of that cliff, tonight I beat an EDGE that is bigger then me. His pretty scary but I need to remember I'm a fighter. I need to remember I need this more then anything else. I need this to be able to look my Angel without Wings in the eyes and say I survived. I need this so I can look every single Niece and Nephew in the eye and not need to apologise but most importantly.....I need to defeat the best EDGE i have come across tonight to be able to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself it's okay, you can rest now. The one thing that still keeps you awake at night is gone. I have every bit of respect you can have for a person when I see my opponent tonight but I also need to finish a battle I have had my whole life against the army of EDGE's. I need to finish the battle I have with myself every single day and I need to finish this little tournament as the KING OF THE RING...not because I'm the best...not because I deserve it. Every single other man in this tournament is better and deserves it more then Uncle Spike Dudley but I need to finish as the KING OF THE RING so I don't drive to that cliff, look over the EDGE and have to pick myself back up again. I'm tired of talking myself off of that cliff and winning this tournament....well it squashes every single little doubt I've had. Every Dog has it's day and I need mine to be with the crown.
Spike finishes up, the tone changing in the last paragraph. He looks at Renee, winks and smiles again but doesn't even wait to see if she has any other questions. He just winks and leaves her speechless. So speechless that she doesn't even use the mic. He eyes just follows him out, she sighs, not sure what to make of it, dropping the mic down to her side. She takes a second, dumbfounded before she reaches into her pocket. The camera follows it down showing Renee pulling a Cigarette out of her dress. The cameras panic and cut straight away when they realize what it is as we go to the next segment.
As a lull in the action is shown to the fans, we would be given not a cut to the backstage area, but to the announcer’s desk.
Mauro Ranallo: ”Well folks, while we have a breather here, we would like to show you some footage gathered from the hometown of our current UWF World Heavyweight Champion, Trevor Lee, from sometime over this past week.”
Corey Graves: ”And folks, as someone who has already seen this video, I must say that it is an absolutely touching act on the part of Mister Trevor Lee, something that goes beyond the sport of professional wrestling-”
Tom Phillips: ”Are you serious, Corey? Are you really saying that what he did last week was touching? He couldn’t even be at Revolution last week because of…because of this!”
Mauro Ranallo: ”Tom, Corey, why don’t we just roll the footage before you two argue any further?”
With Mauro nodding his head at the camera, the feed would fade to black for a moment, before picking up in a new scene entirely. At first, it would seem that the camera remains on the blackened screen for far too long, until finally the view zooms out, showing a singular object sat upon a mannequin head.
However, as the camera zooms out from it, and the mask is shown to be sat by its lonesome, another detail of the ongoing event would send the fans currently at the arena into a tumultuous uproar, all from one little sign.
R.I.P. Shark Boy
January 28, 1975 - May 21, 2023
Funeral in progress
With some stock organ music playing in the background, the more cinematic shot would fade to those in attendance, showing that, despite this being perhaps the final burial of one of UWF’s greatest champions, there are only two people in attendance - “The Butcher” Andy Williams, and “The Prophet” Lance Cade…which leaves only one man to be standing at the podium as the speaker for such an event: Mister Trevor Lee himself, who wears a sorrowful expression as he stands before his two loyal followers.
Trevor Lee: ”Gentlemen…we are gathered ‘ere tonight to mourn the passin’ o’ one o’ the U-Dubya-Eff’s all-time greats. A sure fire Hall o’ Famer who, had it not been for his own bravery an’ foolishness, woul’ certainly be standin’ ‘ere right alon’side us tonight, wearin’ his mask wit’ pride.”
With some false despair on Lee’s face in the form of a frown, Lee takes a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing onward.
Trevor Lee: ”Instead, we stan’ ‘ere, united, representin’ the town o’ Harlan, Kentucky to deliver one final sen’off to perhaps the single greatest challenge that has ever stepped up to the God o’ professional ‘rasslin himself, Shark Boy.”
A loud bawling can be heard, as Lance Cade’s typically manic state seems to have swung to the exact opposite end of the spectrum, with the prophet blowing his nose into a tissue to further sell his sorrow.
Trevor Lee: ”Yes, folks, the beer-drinkin’, bass-whoopin’, son-of-a-fish no longer walks among us ‘ere in the lan’ o’ the livin’, now instead given his permanent residence in the history books, where he shall reside as one of the U-Dubya-Eff’s few multiple-time worl’ champions, an’ a fighter to the bitter en’.”
Taking another moment of silence, Trevor Lee would bow his head, before raising it again to look out into the “crowd”.
Trevor Lee: ”Now then, with the preliminaries outta’ the way, woul’ anyone in the audience ‘ere wish to come on up ‘ere an’ say a few words ‘bout the departed?”
With “The Butcher” as stoic as ever and “The Prophet” still in hysterics, Trevor Lee would nod his head.
Trevor Lee: ”I understan’. The silence speaks volumes, an’ I am sure that mista’ Shark would ‘ave had it no other way.”
Stepping forward to the table, Trevor Lee would pull the mask of Shark Boy off of the mannequin head and hold it in his hand. Shockingly, there is no break in character here, as Trevor instead regards the mask with…regret? Sorrow? Something far from the jubilation one would expect, to be sure.
Trevor Lee: ”Alas, poor Shark Boy, I knew him well: a fellow of infinite resolve, of most excellent skill inside the squared circle. He hath scorn me a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rims at it.”
Almost to further make a mockery of his fallen adversary, as if he hadn’t done it enough with this funeral and now giving a damned Hamlet recital to the mask, he sticks two fingers through the mouth hole, widening it by a small margin as he shakes his head.
Trevor Lee: ”Here hung those lips that have mouthed off to me I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your swagger? Your bravery? Your flashes of hope, that were wont to set the crowd on a roar? Not one now, to mock my own grinning? Quite chap-fallen?”
With his own performance finished, Trevor Lee simply holds the mask in his hands, staring down at it, having to come to terms with the fact that he, indeed, had gotten what he wanted. Yet again, the evil had triumphed, and Trevor Lee had gotten exactly what he wanted. However, holding the mask in his hand, it now all felt so…hollow to him.
A disregard grew within him as he stared down at the mask that covered the face of he who once rivaled him, of he who once stood in the face of despair with hope and passion ablaze, who stood up to God himself and ripped off a chunk of flesh at every meeting, who always swam back toward him, hungry for more.
Now, though, that the shark had bitten off more than he could chew, Trevor Lee felt…disinterested in it all. And so, with his eyes glazed over and his emotional high coming to a conclusion, Trevor Lee merely sets the mask back onto the mannequin head and turns away from it once and for all, regarding it merely as exactly what it had always been to him: a trophy, and nothing more…
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a King of the Ring Tournament Semi-Final match and scheduled for one fall! The winner of this match will advance to the finals of the 2023 King of the Ring Tournament! Introducing first...
A lone synthetetic violin whispers through the air like a pterodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entrance way. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out on to the ramp, fists and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day while his step-sister Bayley follows close behind. He does some shadow boxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by Bayley, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... the Hollywood Champion, Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's neck is has that Tinsel Town strap slung over his shoulder. His pace is in lock-step with the groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred his title belt like a guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight. Bayley, meanwhile, lurks and lingers on the fringe of the squared circle, ready to fight dirty if it comes to that.
Chimel: And his opponent...
"Better Than You" begins to play and there is a tidal wave of boos from the fans. After a few moments MJF begins to swagger out of the entrance way. Following behind him is Jake Hager. MJF laughs at the fans who are trying to get under his skin as he walks towards the ring. He adjusts the Intercontinental Championship around his waist just to rub it in their face that he has it.
Chimel: Making his way to the ring accompanied by Jake Hager. Weighing in at 216 pounds from Plainview New York. He says he is better than you and you know it Maxwell Jacob Friedman, M...J...F!!!!
The fans erupt even louder and MJF doesn't pay them any mind. He walks into the ring and Hager opens the ropes for him. He stands in the middle of the ring flexing a bit and smirking as his music fades. MJF pulls the belt from around his waist and hands it over to Hager for safe keeping.
DING DING!
The starting bell rings and MJF arrogantly strides to the middle of the ring, extending a hand for a test of strength. Kyle O'Reilly eyes it with a smirk as he approaches, raising his hand as though he is about to lock up, but just before connecting and lacing digits, he pulls back, laughs, and shakes his head. Then, in a show of complete disrespect for the jerk opposite him, the Diabetic Dragon delivers an open-palmed slap across the Salt of the Earth's face! MJF stands there, head turned, momentarily stunned before looking back to KOR and mouthing off about how low-class the action was. Kyle responds by doing the only thing a man can do. He slaps MJF again, and this time, he gets a pop and some laughter from the fans.
Tom Phillips: A minute into this match and we've seen two slaps from Kyle O'Reilly. We knew these men lacked respect for one another coming into this thing, but it's clear from this start that we might be in for an ugly fight.
Corey Graves: Uhh, correction, Tom: It's Kyle O'Reilly who is showing absolutely no respect to arguably the greatest talent of his generation in our Intercontinental Champion. I have a feeling that is going to come back to bite him in the ass here tonight.
MJF turns back toward Kyle, but instead of resorting to words, he resorts to action, pulling the striker into a collar-and-elbow tie up and then muscling him into the corner. In a show of complete disrespect, the champ then washes Kyle's face with his wrist, before strutting back and smirking at him, declaring himself better than the Diabetic Dragon. This visibly angers KOR and he surges from the corner, leaping up and wiping that smug look of self-satisfaction right off of his opponent's face with a Harpoon Torpedo! The Busaiku knee catches MJF flush and sends him crashing to the mat, then thrashing about as he clutches at his nose. Kyle shows no mercy, going straight on the offense and taking the full mount on his opponent, then raining down a flurry of open-palmed strikes. It's all MJF can do to get hands up to block, but as he does, Kyle spies a fresh opportunity and moves from strikes to submission as he grabs one of MJF's forearms and starts twisting the skin in the same way a high school bully might with the Snake Bite! The fans are popping, thoroughly relishing in the Intercontinental Champion's pain as he rolls to one knee, screaming out.
Mauro Ranallo: Maxwell Jacob Friedman finds himself in the unfortunate position that many American youth do when they refuse to hand over their lunch money, and we'll just have to see whether or not he can break out of this withering hold from his King of the Ring rival.
Friedman does battle up to a vertical base, planting both feet even as Kyle obsessively continues to work that hold. Pivoting enough to face Kyle, he delivers a few strikes to the Diabetic Dragon, but the latter is fixated on torturing him and practically frothing at the mouth. Instead, MJF goes low, so to speak, stomping directly on Kyle's toes! This jolts O'Reilly, and when the champion repeats the gesture with another hard stomp, then grinds his heel into the foot, Kyle releases his hold. The opening is all MJF needs, even as he pulls the assaulted arm away and the camera catches a shot of how beet red it is; MJF ducks and drives Kyle back into the corner with a shoulder rush, then grabs a hand of his reeling rival and starts to manipulate the wrist joint while pressing his shoulder against Kyle's body and keeping him cornered with his body weight. Kyle grunts and cries out as MJF stretches the wrist to its maximum extent, then releases it and starts delivering ugly elbows to Kyle's torso. The official actually starts a count on Maxwell and reaches four before Friedman backs away, hands in the air. The fans hit him with some heat for that.
Phillips: The displeasure of the UWF Universe is clear right now. They don't want Maxwell Jacob Friedman as their King of the Ring.
Graves: Well, that's just tough for them, isn't it Tom? After all, as he himself said – and I agree 100% with the Salt of the Earth – this is his tournament to lose. Nobody else in this field has his talent.
MJF turns, but as he does, O'Reilly again surges from the corner! This time, his opponent is ready for it, though, stepping back and connecting flush with a superkick! O'Reilly looks out on his feet, stumbling back into the ropes, but as he does he rebounds with a Hookshot Lariat! MJF is turned inside out by the strike and rolls to the outside of the ropes, resting on the apron. That's not going to slide for Kyle – or, I suppose it will, since as MJF sits up on the apron, Kyle hits the ropes in front of and perpendicular to the side of the ring he's on, then slides into a second lariat that puts him right back down on his back! The fans pop as MJF rolls to standing on the floor, stumbling toward the barricade as Jake Hager shouts some words of encouragement to him and Bayley eyes him with contempt from the other side. It looks like MJF is going to get a moment to rest, but as he turns back toward the ring, he instead eats a faceful of forearm as Kyle springs through the ropes, and is sent right back into the guardrail with a thud. Kyle then delivers a flurry of kicks and knee strikes to his dazed opponent, who has nowhere to go with the barricade at his back.
Phillips: Kyle O'Reilly is fully in his element now, and this has to be exactly where his opponent didn't want him to be when this match began.
Ranallo: Few men in this company are as dangerous as the Diabetic Dragon when he gets on a roll. The question is, can he sustain this momentum to the finish line?
Graves: He'll have to close this thing out quick if he even wants a chance! And we both know that's not going to happen. Look at the little sadist. He can't stop!
Indeed, O'Reilly's brutal offense shows no sign of abating, even at the count of five. Now he's gone to open-palm strikes to the chest. It's a bit like the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights, when Blinkin' goes ham on the wooden post. Except this is a person he's hitting, and MJF's chest just keeps looking worse with each blow, before some skin is actually broken and a little bit of blood starts to show. Kyle roars as he steps back to admire his handiwork, then surges forward again, looking for another lariat. This time, however – perhaps out of desperation, perhaps out of something else – MJF throws an elbow that catches him on his jaw and sends him spinning a full 360 degrees. When he is facing MJF again, the Salt of the Earth ducks and scoops him up on his shoulders, then surges forward and Alabama Slams O'Reilly right into the ring apron!
Ranallo: MAMMA MIA! THAT COULD BE THE MATCH RIGHT THERE!
The fans fall deathly silent as Kyle folds into a 90-degree angle and lands with a thud on his ass beside the ring, blinking, visibly dazed and possibly concussed by the force of the slam and the impact to the back of his head. MJF staggers back to the barricade to lean against it, running a hand over his brutalized chest and wiping some blood away, then surges forward and drives a hard kick to Kyle's nose that lays him out flat as he falls into the apron and lays out partially under the ring. MJF slides into the ring at 8, then rolls back out of it to reset the ref's timer. He's not done with his opponent. Unfortunately for him, it looks like the brutal attack on Kyle has sent Bailey feral as she leaps up onto the ring steps and toward him. Fortunately for the Salt of the Earth, his wingman has him covered. Just before Bailey lands on Friedman's shoulders, he's intercepted by a brutal Big Boot from Hager, straight to the jaw. She eats it full force and lands with a hard thud on the floor, spasming as she grabs at her jaw. Hager looks down on her with a smug smirk of satisfaction of his own as the fans go nuclear at him for kicking a girl in the face.
Phillips: Absolutely foul conduct by Maxwell Jacob Friedman's consigliere there!
Graves: I'm sure Jake Hager has many jobs but one of them is definitely to watch the Intercontinental Champion's back. Maybe Bailey should just stay in her lane and not get involved if she doesn't want to eat shoe leather.
Friedman looks to Hager and nods his thanks, then drags Kyle out from under the ring and pulls him to his feet before rolling him into it. He slides in, rolls Kyle onto his back, and hooks the leg.
1...
2...
...NO! Kyle O'Reilly kicks out!
Graves: WHAT?!?
Ranallo: Mamma mia! There's life in Kyle O'Reilly still!
The fans are as flabbergasted as the announcers, popping in a big way for the Diabetic Dragon, who has somehow managed to stymie the Intercontinental Champion's regal ambitions ever-so-slightly. MJF rises to his feet, thumbing his nose for a moment before nodding and laughing as he walks around the downed Kyle, who still seems out of it. "All right then, Kyle, you want to take the hard way, huh?" He shouts. He lifts a boot and, in a disrespectful gesture, shoves Kyle's head back against the canvas. The fans boo the show of poor sportsmanship as MJF then leans down and starts smacking Kyle upside the head several times.
Phillips: Corey, you were talking about disrespect earlier and I don't know how you could call this anything other than exactly that. MJF is toying with a potentially concussed Kyle O'Reilly in the middle of the ring.
Graves: You know what I call it, Tom? I call it just desserts! Kyle was a jerk earlier in the match and now he's paying for it!
MJF simply keeps toying with Kyle, just like that. He's lost all interest in finishing this thing any time soon. But as he lifts his boot and again shoves Kyle back down flat to the canvas, he hears Hager crying out, and turns to find his body man eating a flurry of scratches from an even more crazed Bailey, whose nose is gushing blood! MJF moves to the ropes and starts shouting at Kyle's sister, then appeals to the official to do something about what's going on outside. The official simply throws his arms up, but he's right there when Kyle O'Reilly, still dazed, rises to his feet, charges MJF and leaps onto his shoulders, rolling him into a crucifix pin! MJF's feet are kicking wildly at the air as he desperately tries to get a shoulder up!
1...
2...
...3!
DING DING DING!
Here is your winner, and advancing to the finals
of the 2023 King of the Ring tournament:
KYLE O'REILLY!
Graves: WHAT?!?
Phillips: He did it! Against all odds, the Diabetic Dragon has stolen a win here against the Salt of the Earth and advances to the finals of the King of the Ring!
Ranallo: In a contest that promised to be absolutely brutal, we now have a clear winner in what some would call an upset victory.
Graves: SOME?!? Vegas had O'Reilly at 100-to-one odds!
Kyle rolls right out of the ring, grabbing Bailey by the shoulder and pulling her off of the badly scratched-up Hager as he beats a hasty retreat with his stolen win. The pair make it to the top of the ramp and share a hug before O'Reilly throws a fist up to a pop from the crowd. MJF, meanwhile, is absolutely losing his shit in the ring, pacing around and kicking the bottom rope. Hager simply watches on in stunned disbelief as the show moves on.
The titantron would cut to Samoa Joe sitting in a chair in what looks to be a bar. The crowd boos immediately. Joe is sitting facing the camera.
Samoa Joe: Hello folks; it's me, your old friend Samoa Joe. I know since my untimely loss to Spike at Backlash; I've not been about and you all must be worried sick about me.
The booing would only increase.
Samoa Joe: Well I'm here to tell you all tonight don't worry, your favourite Samoan wrestler called Joe is just fine; a fluke loss to the Runt of the Dudley litter isn't going to keep me down for long.
I took some time off to myself and recollected my thoughts and I realised something: Spike didn't beat me, I beat me. That whole match I dominated Spike, threw him around the ring like the wet rag that he is and I got too overconfident and he used that chance to get the win.
Shaking his head, Joe would continue.
Samoa Joe: I feel guilty about taking time off however because look at what happened after I left. Shark Boy has gone from ripping off Stone Cold to ripping off a fine fellow Samoan in The Rock. That psychopath Vinny Marsegllia has returned with those other two psychos Bray and Alexa; worst of all: we might see Spike Dudley become King of the Ring.
Joe would tsk at this.
Samoa Joe: Such chaos in such my short absence, so I'm back and don't worry, I'll set things right again. While away I also reconnected with some old friends of mine, people who also see the issues that are plaguing our fine roster. I realised while I might be the greatest wrestler on this roster currently: no man's an island, he needs people around him.
The smirk would return to Joe's face.
Samoa Joe: So you can all rest easy now that Uncle Joe is back and trust me, my job won't be done until I sort this roster out once and for all. See you around folks.
Joe would then pick up a pint and smile at the camera giving a cheers before fading to black.
The scene opens with Edge sitting in his locker room, preparing for his match against Spike Dudley. There’s a quietness in the air as Edge mentally prepares for the King of the Ring semi-finals. A chance to make history hangs in the balance and Edge is erk-
Christian
Penny for your thoughts.
The silence is broken. Edge’s head snaps up from looking down to see a grinning Christian in front of him seemingly out of nowhere.
Edge
How did you-
Christian
Door fell off
Edge
Huh?
Christian
The door finally fell off. It’s been barely holding on for weeks. So I just sorta tip-toed in here and saw you sitting so seriously. Figured there was something big going on, like maybe a Royal Rumble...
It's June Christian, Rumble happens in January.
Christian
G1 Climax?
It's been a few years since D...EC3 has done one of those. But nah, there's nothing serious goin-
Christian
Oh! That other tournament Kin-
Edge
So like the door is gone gone?
Edge peers past Christian and sure enough, there’s nothing there but the top hinge that did its absolute best to hold that door in place. E&C’s locker room is and has been exposed to the world. Wait didn’t you change in here?
Edge
Yup
Christian
So like, anyone could’ve seen?
Edge
Yuppers
Damn, truly living up to the Rated R Superstar name today.
Christian
Oh my god, that’s what’s going on isn’t it? These past few weeks Ace keeps sending me on all these side quests to keep knocking off my ring rust, you know, Mr Miyagi style. Like washing the car…
It’s covered in pollen and I am allergic to plants having sex...
Christian
Going grocery shopping and having to carry everything in just one singular trip
Oh the joys of growing up in the city with only one driver who hated driving in the city...
Christian
And I already forgot the last one.
Good because I ran out of jokes...
Edge
You know he can hear you, right?
Yeah, he can hear me, but is he listening to me? That's the real question. Edge looks at Christian, whose gaze is fixated on a small fly buzzing around the room with incredible speed.
Edge
Wow I was not expecting an immediate answer to that rhetorical question.
Christian
Was this my last training task? Testing my powers of observation?
Y…yes? Uhhh, you know what, yeah. If you can catch that fly without harming it, that's your last training task for today. Testing your speed, reflexes, but also body control. Go get'em, tiger.
With that, Christian's focus is solely on the fly, who just so happens to fly right out of the room, with a stalking Christian following closely behind, making slight movements to try and catch the fly unsuccessfully as the two start a journey through the backstage areas.
Edge
Well that was close, he almost caught on there. Way to go slipping that whole "Rated R Superstar" line in there. Are you trying to get him to notice?
Not really know, but I knew it would annoy you to get him so painfully close to the truth just t0 yoink him away again. Though I'm honestly a little shocked the fly thing keeps working...
Edge
Hold up. Keeps working?
Yeah, I think that's like the fifth time I've done that and it worked, probably helps that every time he catches it, mysteriously gets a bump on the head and suddenly can't remember the past few hours. It's like the two of you have instant reset buttons.
Edge
That is a horrifying prospect and I am now hyper aware of my situation.
Nah, you're totes fine. Plus, shouldn't you be happy? You're in the semi-finals of the King of the Ring, I've backed off for now on you being a big old goofball and I'm just letting Edge be Edge. Whoever he wants to be to get the job done. Plus my idea has been working with the Sami Zayn situation...
Edge
He tried to cost me my match last week and directly led to me winning. How would you call that working? He still hates my guts and each step towards success I make I'm sure he'll get more and more desperate to take me down and if he does, I don't think it'll just be Wrestlemania I'll be missing out on.
Pffft. You gotta treat him like a cat. See, dogs when they do something wrong, you can yell at them and let them know it was wrong and they know not to do it again. But you yell at a cat? They'll do it again, hell they do it more now because they KNOW it gets a reaction out of you and they get away with no repercussions. Like, if your cat keeps jumping on your TV stand and keeps turning stuff off up there, you set up baking pans balanced on the edge so when they jump up, they instead fall off AND make a loud scary sound at the same time from their own actions? They'll never jump up there again!
Edge
So once Zayn realizes his actions are having the opposite effects, he'll just...give up on his own? No big blow off match to culminate this war?
Probably! I mean, if he keeps trying and failing to interfere with the King of the Ring and you somehow win it, do you really think EC3 will reward the person who tried to sabotage it with any opportunities? Your continued success is Sami Zayn's continued failure. That's how you beat him. By not.
With that, Edge punches his fist into his open hand and stands up, a fire in his eyes ready for his match against Spike Dudley. As he leaves the locker room, an open book with a camo print cover is left on the bench Edge was sitting on, open to the very last page. The camera moves in to show the words but as the words come into view, the scene fades away, leaving the UWF Universe guessing about the ending to the Book of 'Little' Spike Dudley...
The scene opens on Vinny Marseglia looking into the camera as he holds a red balloon.
Vinny Marseglia: I’ve got just one question for you, Shark. You seem so grateful to Trevor Lee for beating you at Backlash and letting you shed the mask, so tell me, are you going to be grateful to me when I beat you tonight?
Vinny laughs.
Vinny Marseglia: I proved last week that I’m not backing down from any challenge, and I’m not, it’s not in my nature and that would be a waste of my time. So, Shark, get ready to bleed at my hands and Bray, I hope you’re watching every second of it because that’s what playtime with Vinny looks like.
Vinny releases the balloon and the camera follows it upward. As it pops, the camera pans down quickly and Vinny is gone as Revolution continues.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a King of the Ring tournament semi final match. Introducing first…..
The crowd are quiet, waiting for something to happen but the silence doesn't last long as fireworks shoot from the ceiling down onto the stage as a familiar theme song plays out of the PA System.
LET ME SEE YOU PUT EM UP,
REACH THE SKY, TOUCH THE STARS UP ABOVE
CAUSE IT'S ONE TIME FOR THE UNDERDOG
The crowd rise to their feet as they await for the appearance of the Runt of the Family. The crowd raise the noise levels as Spike Dudley emerges from the curtain. Spike is looking all business tonight, looking ready to go.
Spike pounds his chest, looking out into the crowd as he begins his way down the ramp. The fans are begging for high fives and he obliges, touching the free hands with all the fans at ringside as he comes to end of the ramp. He takes a running start, sliding into the ring before climbing the turnbuckles, beating his chest and looking out into the sea of adoring fans.
Tony Chimel: From Dudleyville, being accompanied to the ring by The Dudley Boyz, weighing in at 145 pounds, SPIKE DUDLEY
Spike steps down from the turnbuckle and comes back to the center of the ring, grabbing his wrists and rolling them in his hands as he looks set.
Tony Chimel: And his opponent…..
A sick 80s inspired beat starts to pulsate through the arena as the lights dim and lasers in all sorts of rad colors begin to dance around the stage area. We're talking magenta, cyan, purple, orange, it's lit up like a Pink Floyd show. After a few seconds of this beat building with some flourishes, you here the familiar phrase:
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
And after it, the beat picks up harder, and as the synth begins to belt out an instrumental version of Edge's most iconic theme, you see him, emerging from a cloud of smoke to strobe lights in the same colors as the lasers, which are now dancing around the whole arena. There's no animalistic prowling across the stage, just a smooth swagger to his stride. A smirk on his lips as he matches his stride to the vibe of the music. At ringside, he waits for the music to start to swell again and as it does, he slides into the ring. As it would kick into the second chorus (like if there were actual words) he ascends the turnbuckle and poses as the ring announcer does what he's paid to do.
Tony Chimel
Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds, Edge!
VS 
As the bell rings, the two veterans meet in the middle of the ring and shake hands as a sign of respect. They both want to continue in this tournament and will lay it all out on the line tonight but a little bit of respect goes a long way. The pair lock up and Edge uses his obvious size advantage to take quick control of the lock up. Edge pushes Spike off into the ropes and goes for a Clothesline but Spike ducks under it and stops turning into a Battering Ram attempt but Edge pushes Spike back and manages to hit the Clothesline, picking Spike back up, he goes for the Downward Spiral but Spike manages to reverse it into a quick Inside Cradle.
Mauro Ranallo: Edge with the Downward Spiral attempt but Spike manages to bring Edge into an Inside Cradle.
Tom Phillips: These two men showed some respect at the start of the match and while they may respect each other, they both want the same thing: to continue to the King of the Ring finals
Corey Graves: Well you know the old saying Phillips: Alls fair in love and war and you can bet Edge will have the gears spinning.
1…
Edge kicks out at one and looks up at Spike as if to say “What the hell” but Spike just smirks and backs off, allowing his opponent to get back to his feet and reset. On the outside, Spikes brothers, Bubba and D-Von applaud their younger brother for his tactic there. Edge gets back to his feet and Spike offers a hand for another lock up, Edge takes it but pulls Spike in and kicks him in the gut, dropping down and delivering an upwards punch, this rocks Spike who gives Edge the same look that Edge did to him and Edge responds with a smirk of his own. Spike nods and goes for a punch to Edge, landing it right in the moosh of his face, Edge responds in kind and the pair are now teeing off with punches, the crowd breaking into cheers. Edge grabs Spike by the back of his head and goes to throw him over the top rope but Spike uses the momentum to slide under the rope and runs back in hitting the Battering Ram to Edge’s stomach. Edge goes into the ropes and as Spike goes for a strike, Edge grabs the arm and turns Spike round into the Edge-O-Matic, grabbing Spikes leg for the pin.
Mauro Ranallo: Edge with the Edge-O-Matic, I think its fair to say Corey and Tom that all aspersions of sportsmanship has went out the window.
Tom Phillips: I think you’re right Mauro, while these two may still respect each other, doesn’t mean they’re going to go easy on each other.
Corey Graves: Well if they want to win, they might need to play a bit dirty.
1…2….Kick Out
Spike kicks out but Edge immediately locks in that Canadian classic, The Sharpshooter. Wrenching it in deep, Spike is forced to start crawling towards the ropes as Edge uses his weight advantage to keep Spike to the floor but the Worlds Greatest Underdog manages to get his arm over a bottom rope and the referee calls for the break, Edge waiting till the count of three to let go. Edge doesn’t let up from Spike, picking him up and throwing him into a corner, Edge goes for a Big Boot but Spike gets out of the way and as Edge bounces out, hits him with a Jumping Neckbreaker. Edge flops to the floor and Spike climbs up to the top rope, slightly slower due to the Sharpshooter but he hits the Dudley Stomp and goes for the pin on Edge.
Mauro Ranallo: DUDLEY STOMP TO EDGE, SPIKE COULD BE LOOKING TO SEAL THE DEAL HERE.
Tom Phillips: A bit slow getting to the top rope after that Sharpshooter.
Corey Graves: This deep in a match those seconds do cost you. Can give Edge time to recover slightly.
1,,,,2,,,,Kick Out.
Corey’s prediction rings true as Edge gets the shoulder up, those precious few seconds that Spike took to climb allowed the Canadian to get his breath back and recover. Spike rolls off Edge and uncommon for the Dudley, goes for a submission of his own, locking in a Crossface to further work on the neck of Edge, Edge tries to reach out to a rope but Spike pulls back further with the Crossface, Edge uses this and leverages Spike into a backslide but Spike lets go before the referee can even consider jumping down for a pin, they both get back to their feet and Spike goes for a Battering Ram but Edge ducks and turns on a dime hitting Spike with a devastating Spear and Edge quickly goes for the cover, making sure to hook all the available limbs.
Mauro Ranallo: SPEAR FROM EDGE, SPEAR FROM EDGE.
Tom Phillips: This could be it Edge is going to the finals
Corey Graves: Well thanks for coming Spike, maybe next year Runt
1…..2…..2.5…..2.9….Kickout.
The crowd cheers in surprise as the Underdog proves that there’s still some fight left in him, Edge can’t believe it, looking up at the referee to check but the referee holds up the two. Edge sighs and gets back to his feet, going for another Sharpshooter on Spike but this time he has it scouted. Pushing Edge off into the ropes, Spike gets back up and hits a Standing Dropkick to his opponent as he returns, knocking Edge to the ground, Spike is still recovering from the Spear and that Dropkick took some out of him. On the outside, D-Von and Bubba are calling for him to get up as Edge is getting up. The pair get up and Edge goes for another Spear but Spike leapfrogs him, Edge crashes shoulder first into the corner, going straight through into the ring post, Edge gets up and wobbles back, Spike grabs Edge and runs into the opposite corner, springing off and hits the Dudley Dog to Edge.
Mauro Ranallo: SPIKE WITH THE DUDLEY DOG, SURELY THIS MUST BE ENOUGH
Tom Phillips:At this point Mauro, i’m not sure, seems like neither man wants to give up the ghost here
Corey Graves: Seems the Underdog still has that fight in him.
1,,,2,,,,2.5….2.9…..Kickout.
Once again the crowd cheers in surprise as Spike sits up, shaking his head. On the outside the Dudley Boys are just as shocked as their brother but are still cheering him on, they throw up the 3D sign to him and the crowd cheers. Edge gets to his knees and Spike turns round, the pair load shots on each other and go back and forth, each strike nastier than the other. They eventually fight back to their feet and the strikes turn to chops, the arena echoing with the noise of the stinging chops. Edge kicks Spike in the gut and tries for the Edgecution but Spike pushes him off and hits him with a Forearm Smash, Edge delivers one of his own. Spike grabs the arm of Edge but Edge pulls Spike in and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex, Spike crashing to the mat. Edge picks Spike up and gets him on top of his shoulders for the Electric Chair Facebuster but Spike reverses it into a Frankensteiner. Spike grabs Edge and calls for another Dudley Dog when suddenly….
Mauro Ranallo: WHAT’S SAMOA JOE DOING HERE.
Tom Phillips: We heard from him earlier tonight but we didn’t realize he was here in the building.
Corey Graves: Joe still sore over his loss to Spike at Backlash and he’s coming to finish the job.
The Dudley Boys see what's coming and make their way to the ramp, Joe making his way down the ramp. The referee is distracted by what’s happening on the outside and doesn’t see a large hooded figure sliding into the ring and catching Spike off guard, Spike turns round to face this interloper, letting go of Edge and is hit by a Big Boot, just as quick as the figure made their entrance, they exit. Joe see’s this and smirks, waving off the approaching Bubba and D-Von. The pair look confused and then concerned when they see their brother on the mat. The referee turns back to the match and sees both competitors on the mat, confused he checks on both and starts the 10 count.
Mauro Ranallo: Well folks just when it seemed Spike Dudley had this match in the bag, Samoa Joe made his return but he hoodwinked us all, it was a distraction for someone to run in and hit Spike with a Big Boot.
Tom Phillips: Spike and Edge both on the mat and the referee counting to 10, if both men get counted out well, I guess MJF and Kyle will be the final tonight.
Corey Graves: Joe talked earlier about reconnecting with like minded fellows while away and it’s most likely that was one of them tonight.
1….2…..3…..4…..5…..6…..7….8….
At the 8 count, Edge and Spike manage to get themselves to their feet. Both men are spent at this point in the match but they’re not giving up. Spike runs for a Battering Ram, hitting Edge in the stomach with it, Edge goes back into the corner, Spike charges and Edge is able to get the boot up, Spike running straight into it, Edge runs out and hits a Big Boot to the back of Spike’s head. Spike drops to the mat and Edge goes to the corner, calling for the Spear. Spike gets up and Edge runs with the Spear but again Spike leapfrogs him, however this time Edge stops himself before he hits the corner but Spike comes behind attempting the Dudley Dog. Edge manages to push him off midair and as Spike gets to his feet, Edge runs through him with a Spear and a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: Third times the charm, Edge hits a second Spear but will it be enough.
Tom Phillips: If its not Mauro, I don’t know what he’ll need to do to keep Spike down.
Corey Graves: Maybe use an actual Spear?
1….2…..3
Tony Chimel: YOUR WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND CONTINUING TO THE FINAL OF THE KING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT…… EDGE.
The referee lifts Edge’s arm and the Rated R Superstar collapses to his knees, exhausted after his battle with Spike but still unaware of how close he came to losing until that figure intervened.
Mauro Ranallo: Well what a match this was gentlemen, both men went hell for leather but in the end Edge is the man who moves on.
Tom Phillips: A hard fought victory for Edge but we must wonder who that hooded figure was and how Joe relates to this.
Corey Graves: Edge unaware of what happened that helped him seal the win here tonight but congratulations to him.
As the camera focuses on Edge winning we can see D-Von and Bubba helping Spike out the ring, all 3 men confused as to what happened. The camera goes to Edge one more time as Revolution moves on.
We go backstage where Renee Young is standing by
Renee Young: Please welcome my guest at this time... The Shark.
The camera pans out and shows The Shark standing alongside Renee, he's raising his eyebrow at the camera and laughing to himself.
Safe to say Shark last week you shocked the world - proclaiming Shark Boy dead and rechristening yourself as The Shark - tonight marks your first match as The Shark on Revolution, tell us what we can expect to see tonight.
The Shark: First off Renee, you absolutely stink of cigarettes - it's a filthy habit but The Shark expects no less from a Canadian, now why don't you toddle on off back to the smoking area and let the star of the show, The Shark's show, speak to the people...
The crowd boo as The Shark shoes Renee off who looks absolutely done.
Filthy habits aside, she ain't too bad for a Canadian broad. But then again any country that considers Edge a national treasure really should revaluate their entire constitution... anyway, Renee, she asked the question - the question that's on the entire world's lips... what is The Shark going to bring to the UWF. The answer is one simple world - electricity. You can smell it in the air - well you could if you removed all the jabronis stinking up the joint in the back and removed all the overweight, sexless nerds from the crowd. But hey, we're not here to talk about them, we're here to talk about The Shark's favourite subject... The Shark.
The crowd are very loudly chanting 'ASSHOLE!' as The Shark smirks.
Electricity. Excitement. Things these people have seldom seen here in the UWF. For too long the people in the arenas and the millions... and millions of soon to be Shark fans have been sitting idly by as guys like Edge, guys like Kyle O'Reilly, Orange Cassidy, Spike Dudley - the list goes on - continually stink up the joint with their 'workrate' when not single one of them have ever drawn a single dime in this business and never will. Simple fact is, The Shark puts asses in seats, whether that's in the crowd or at home. People pay to see The Shark because they know that The Shark is the single most electrifying force in the Deep Blue Sea of the UWF... now The Shark can hear you all talking intelligibly in between stuffing your faces with hotdogs and big slurp beers like the disgusting pigs that you and The Shark can hear you all saying... but we haven't even seen The Shark in the ring... but let's not beat around the bush here, you all saw Shark Boy win title after title, year after year and you ate it all up... now the mask is off and The Shark is set free, just think, just imagine what The Shark is going to achieve now. There won't a big enough wing of the Hall of Fame to induct The Shark when all is said and done...
The Shark chuckles to himself.
Which brings us to tonight - we've already seen Shark Boy be laid to rest and what a send off it was from Mister Trevor Lee. But let's face the facts - that mask is nothing but a trinket, a toy, a gimmick - ya got the win at Backlash but in doing so you only managed to unleash The Shark on the UWF. So somewhere, some time down the line you Trevor Lee will go one on one with 'The Great One' and it'll be your candy ass that The Shark will be eulogising... but we're not here to talk about Trevor Lee, we're here to talk about Vinny Marseglia.
Loud mixed reaction for 'The Horror King'
Who is this roody poo?
The crowd are booing loudly as Shark laughs it off.
The Shark hears all the accolades, all the horrible things Vinny Marseglia's done - he sees that he's stopped hearts, he's ended factions, held World Championships but last week The Shark saw Vinny Marseglia and Bray Wyatt take up the main event slot to talk about playing games while the effects team blew the whole months budget on a bunch of silly crap... and now this week Vinny Marseglia... 'The Horror King' is standing around with a damn balloon. Well let The Shark burst your little balloon you jumped up, Rob Zombie lookin' jabroni. You stand there with that balloon and you try and intimidate The Shark?, don't make The Shark laugh. As a matter of fact why don't you take that balloon, hell you can even draw a little smiley face on it if you must... then you can take that red balloon, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!
Loud mixed reaction for The Shark as he goes in on Marseglia.
The Shark isn't here to play games, he isn't here to stand around petrified, quaking in his boots because there's not one man... and because we're now letting the broads take part... there's also not one woman on that Revolution roster that can hold a candle to The Shark's electrifying light and tonight Vinny, you learn that first hand when The Shark lays the Sharkdown on your candy ass... IF YA SMELLLL WHAT THE SHARK IS COOKIN'?
The Shark throws up the eyebrow before we head elsewhere.
Cutting to the backstage area, the focus goes to a closed door at first, only showing the bottom half of it, before it slowly pans up, revealing just why the door is of importance.
UWF CHAMPION LOCKER ROOM
TREVOR LEE
With the turning of a doorknob, the locker room entrance would open, and as expected, mister Trevor Lee would be stood in the entranceway, ready to head out for one reason or another, when suddenly, something catches his sense of smell. Looking around for a few moments to identify it, Trevor wouldn’t need to wander far to find the source - a lit cigarette, currently hanging from the fingers of one Renee Young.
Trevor Lee: ”Well, well, well…wouldn’t ‘ave ever put money down on there bein’ a day that I fin’ ya’ smokin’, Renee, but I guess ‘ere we are.”
Rolling her eyes, Renee shoots an irritated glance toward Trevor Lee.
Renee Young: ”So what? You’re going to get on my case about it?”
Putting his hands up defensively, Lee approaches closer to Renee.
Trevor Lee: ”Woah, woah, woah, hol’ ya’ horses there, Renee. I ain’t ever said nothin’ like that. Jus’ that it was a different look for ya’, that’s all. Ain’t nothin’ meant by it, positive or negative. Jus’ a small observation, somethin’ ‘bout as noticeable as-”
Renee Young: ”I get it, Lee, cut it.”
Taking a drag from the smoke, Renee turns her head for a moment to exhale, before looking back at the champion.
Renee Young: ”What’s gotten you out of that locker room, anyways? Last I recall, you were holed up in there for pretty much all of last week, then suddenly left to go back to Harlan for ‘personal business’, whatever that is supposed to mean.”
Lee smirks at Renee, not caring about the closing comment made.
Trevor Lee: ”Well, if ya’ mus’ know, which ya’ shoul’ already know by now given that ya’ on the U-Dubya-Eff payroll, I gots me a match tonight ‘gainst one mista’ John Bradshaw Layfiel’. An’ it’s in the main event, too, so that’ll give me plenty o’ time to get all nice an’ warmed up for the big showin’ I’ll be givin’ to all my devotees out in the crowd tonight.”
The fans boo, obliging Lee’s nonchalant request for a reaction, but he no-sells it regardless.
Renee Young: ”Okay…and that’s it?”
With that query, Trevor Lee looks with perplexity toward Renee.
Trevor Lee: ”Now what ya’ mean by that, hun?”
Rolling her eyes at Lee’s attempt at a demeaning pet name thrown her way, Renee takes another drag of her smoke.
Renee Young: ”What I mean is that you’ve got nothing to say about anyone else on the roster? Not any of the people in the King Of The Ring tournament? Not Vinny Marseglia, who returned last week on Revolution? Not Leyton Buzzard?”
Again, Lee looks genuinely confused at Renee’s reply, and steps closer.
Trevor Lee: ”Now hol’ on jus’ a minute…that was a lotta’ information ya’ jus’ threw at my feet there in one short burs’, what the heck ya’ talkin’ ‘bout? King o’ the Ring tournament? Mista’ Buzzard? Mista’ Horror King?”
There’s a strange emphasis on that last namedrop. Almost…admiration? Not quite, though, not like the Trevor Lee of old. It…is indistinguishable.
Renee Young: ”Did you even watch what happened last week? Yes, King Of The Ring is back and tonight’s the semifinals, Vinny Marseglia returned to the UWF as an in-ring competitor for the first time since 2020, and Leyton Buzzard called you out for being the one behind Bronson Steiner’s dogged pursuit of him at the start of 2023.”
A scowl emerges on Trevor Lee’s face at the last remark, the champion shaking his head.
Trevor Lee: ”Really? Mista’ Buzzard…he’s tryin’ to pin what happened wit’ Bronson Steiner onto me? After everythin’ that we done been through? That’d almost be hurtful if it were anywhere in the realm o’ possibility, Renee.”
Looking to Renee and expecting agreement, Trevor is disappointed as Renee gives him a stare that screams disbelief right at his face.
Trevor Lee: ”...Renee, ya’ can’t really believe mista’ Buzzard. I mean, he’s already burned down my church back in Harlan, dude’s turned his back on everyone who ever supported him, heck, he basically abandoned the hope that brought him to standin’ up to me back when I was still holdin’ onto the U-Dubya-Eff Television Championship! Surely ya’ know I wouldn’t be gettin’ myself involved in affairs wit’ him again?”
Renee shrugs her shoulders with little concern for Trevor’s plea.
Renee Young: ”This is coming from the man who has turned the once-Shark Boy into…whatever the hell he’s become now as ‘The Shark’ - by the way, he’s apparently been thanking you for freeing him from the mask that you took from him so you may want to respond to that - so…yeah, I wouldn’t really be considered ‘convinced’ by you denying any plausibility of the scenario.”
Trevor Lee: ”B-But I tried helpin’ him out! I truly did, I mean, I had texted Andy ‘bout gettin’ a beatdown laid on Bronson Steiner to try an’ save Leyton from whatever turmoil he was goin’ through, an’ I got the message history to prove it! Ain’t my fault that Andy, for some reason, decided to go wit’ his own gut instinct instead o’ listenin’ to the words o’ his best friend! That ain’t on me, Renee, that’s on him an’ him alone!”
Clearly not caring about Trevor Lee’s plight, Renee walks off from the set, leaving Trevor more dumbfounded than ever, as he too looks to head off in preparation for his match…
However, as the locker room door opens once more, standing in the entranceway is “The Butcher” Andy Williams, and judging by the small downturn of a scowl on his face, it’s clear that he heard every word of what the UWF Champion had to say as Revolution rolls on…
A montage of clips featuring the newest signing to the UWF is shown. For these clips, the face of the person that has been signed is concealed. The clips show this mystery person fighting against various performers from England, Japan, Mexico, the United States, Canada, etc. Highlights include her using Big Boots, the Ushigoroshi, vicious knee strikes, powerful spinebusters, and of course, her brutal Lariat. The montage ends and the camera switches to the live feed where this mystery woman is finally revealed. It is none other than the most powerful woman in wrestling (at least in her own words), Jamie Hayter. She remains silent for a few more moments before finally speaking.
“I don’t need an introduction, because everyone knows who I am. For the idiots that have been living under a rock for the last eight years, what you see before you is the greatest wrestler alive today. What makes me so great? Well, everything! I’m the most exciting, dynamic, entertaining wrestler in the world. I’m the most powerful woman in wrestling. There isn’t a person in this entire industry that can stand up to me. Another reason why I’m so great is that I’m an equal opportunity arse kicker.”
A clip of Jamie hitting some unlucky guy with a Hayterade flashes slow enough for the audience to see but fast enough not to need a scene change.
“I’ve dominated people from all over the world. I’ve taken titles and I’ve taken heads. I’ve won championship belts everywhere I’ve gone. Now that I’m here in the UWF, it’ll be the same story. I’ll continue my dominant ways and become champion. So, this is a notice. You’d all better wash your necks and wait, because I’m coming for you. When I get my hands on you, you’ll realize two things: Hayter hits hard and you can’t stop me.”
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE SHARK IS COOKING?
The crowd begin to boo almost immediately as the now familiar voice is heard over the PA system. 'Deepest Bluest' by LL Cool J begins to play over the PA system and before long The Shark makes his way out onto the stage to a loud, mostly negative reaction. The Shark looks out at the crowd with a look of disgust for a short moment, he raises one eyebrow before he begins to swagger down to the ring. The Shark pays no attention to the crowds booing as he reaches the bottom of the ramp and stops to soak it all in before he climbs the ring steps and onto the apron. The Shark then walks along the apron and up onto the top rope where he stands atop the top turnbuckle and once again bathes in the reaction he receives from the crowd.
Chimel: Introducing first, now residing in Cocoa Beach, Florida... weighing in at 205 pounds, The Shark!
The Shark steps down into the ring and looks around at the crowd, once again raising his eyebrow before he takes off his sunglasses and shirt and hands it to a ringside worker awaiting his the sound of the bell.
”GET ON YOUR KNEES
AND BOW DOWWNNN!!!”
The raucous crowd erupt into cheers at the sound of those words as, “Bow Down” by IPrevail plays throughout the arena. It isn’t long before the, “Horror King” himself makes his presence felt as he appears from behind the curtain with axe in hand and starts making his way down the ramp.
Chimel: And his opponent... From Warwick, Rhode Island. Weighing in at one hundred and eighty-nine pounds. He is the, “Horror King”, Vinny Marseglia!
As Vinny enters the ring, he ascends the nearest turnbuckle and raises both arms in the air. After being greeted with more cheers, he steps down and points his signature axe at the stage as he gets ready for the match ahead.
Tony gives the two living legends a wide berth as he heads out of the ring. After ensuring both men are good to go, the Referee calls for the bell.
VS 
DING DING
The bell rings, but neither superstar moves. Marseglia has his hands at his sides, fingers itching and twitching like some kinda wild west gunslinger, just waiting for the right instant to draw. The Shark, on the other hand, looks like he can hardly be bothered to put in the effort in - like he's above wasting his time on some smoke-and-mirrors sideshow act like this.
Despite the initial lack of action, the crowd doubles down on their enthusiasm. This is a veritable dream match, after all, and given its Marseglia's first bout in a long, long time, the fans start up a resounding chant for the Horror King. There's a bunch of 'em out there even bowing down for the violent royalty.
Ranallo: Listen to that reaction for Marseglia! The man who haunted Revolution for years is being welcomed back with open arms.
Graves: Never thought I'd hear tens of thousands of people cheering on a literal axe murderer, but that's the UWF Universe for ya.
Egomaniac that he is, The Shark is just a little bit jealous to see his opponent hogging all the attention. So he starts up showboating - some peacocking, some crowd taunting and other general Rock-isms to get all eyes on him. All of a sudden, those cheers for Vinny become boos for The Great One. That puts a smile on his face, and he shoots Vinny a cocky wink about it.
Never one to suffer fools, Vinny decides enough is enough of that. He marches across the ring with some evil intent about him. For a second there, it looks like the Shark is going to meet him in the middle and lock-up. An evasive side-step takes things in another direction. Vinny pivots and reaches out to pull him back in only for the Most Electrifying Shark in the Deep Blue Sea to retreat towards the ropes. He leans through the top and middle and tells the Referee to make Marseglia back off.
The third man isn't especially eager about bossing the Horror King around. Like every good killer in the slasher flicks, though, Vinny ain't in a rush to get the dirty work done. He gives The Shark some distance to get himself ready while he waits patiently near the center of the squared circle.
The Shark's lack of hustle to engage him there stirs up another round of jeers from the sold-out crowd.
Graves: Seems like just yesterday that these fickle fans were in love with The Shark. Now they're trying to boo him out of the building. Unbelievable.
Phillips: What's "unbelievable" is that The Shark stabbed his two best friends in the back and turned into a total jerk after losing to Trevor Lee at Backlash.
Graves: You can't criticize a guy for changing course after a big loss, Tom. If you were a wrestler, you'd know that sometimes you have to go back to the drawing board. There's nothing wrong with The Shark deciding to ditch the costume and start taking things a little more seriously. I actually admire him for it.
Ranallo: Seems like just yesterday that this fickle commentator despised The Shark...
Graves: Shut up, Mauro! I'm trying to call the match!
Finally, and tepidly, The Shark locks up with Marseglia. Vinny hastily pulls him in for a side headlock. The look in the People Champ's eyes suggests he's maybe a bit surprised by the power of Marseglia, and that he isn't enjoying having his head squeezed between an arm and a torso at all. He flops and flutters like a fish out of water to pull his head loose then drops down to snag a super sudden roll-up on the Horror King in a desperate attempt to put him away before any significant damage can be done.
The Official drops down to count it...
1...
2...
Vinny pops out right after two. The Shark is looks over at the Ref, complaining about a slow count. He doesn't have much time to make argument before Marseglia's hand shoots up like Carrie's from ground and grabs him around the neck.
The former UWF Champ keeps his grip tight on the throat as he gets back to a vertical base. Vinny then drives The Shark into the nearest turnbuckle, hand still clutching windpipe. The Official gives him a warning about that and also for holding on to a guy touching the ropes. That's home free, brother. Marseglia backs away, but just a few feet - which is to say, just enough to give himself a bit of room to get some momentum behind a big ol' elbow strike to the head.
Phillips: Thunderous elbow shot courtesy Marseglia!
Ranallo: The Shark is seeing stars!
Arm bone rattles against skull, knocking The Shark Boy loopy. Marseglia follows up with an identical, if not harder, shot. Before The Shark can collapse, Marseglia catches him, hangs his arms over the corner and blisters his chest with some Axe Edge Chops. His palms rips his opponent's torso raw as the crowd's typical "WOOOH's" turn into cringed-out "OOOH's" at the sight of it.
Luckily for the Shark, Vinny doesn't spend too much time ripping up that chest meat. But unluckily for The Shark, that's because Vinny pulls him out of the corner, hooks his head, and hoists him up high for the Sudden Rush. Marseglia leaves The Great One suspended upside down for a little while, drawing out the delayed vertical suplex before finally driving him down into the mat with a huge thud.
Landing more or less on top of his foe, Vinny then hooks a leg deep to shoot the half...
1...
2...
The Shark kicks out at two.
Vinny doesn't seem surprised. In fact, he laughs a bit - downright gleeful about getting the chance to hurt somebody some more. He gets back to his feet, bends down, grabs a fistful of hair, and pulls The Shark up with him. Marseglia hooks the head in the crook of his arm, potentially looking for The Jump Scare.
Sensing the danger, The Shark once again wiggles out of harm's way. After tagging Vinny with a hefty right across the jaw - showing that no matter the personality, he can pack a punch - The Shark then straps his arm across a dazed Marseglia's torso as he endeavors to put him away with the a Shark Bite.
Phillips: Vinny's in trouble! We saw The Shark put his best pal Grado down with this maneuver at the close of Backlash!
Graves: Incredible how he's already mastered a new move set, isn't it?
Ranallo: Fair point, Corey. While it may not be the case with Marseglia, the Revolution mainstays who have beens quaring off against The Shark for over a year now will find themselves competing against a man who knows all their tricks and tactics while having adopted a whole new set of his own techniques. That makes him a dangerous match-up for anyone, up to and including the UWF Champion Trevor Lee should they ever square off again.
Graves: I'm sure The Shark would love another bite at the Mayor, but he should be sending him a thank you card for helping him transform into a much better version of himself.
The Shark hoists Vinny up for a Shark Bite - except oh snap, Marseglia slips out and steps around him, quickly counting with a twisting backbreaker he likes to call Inksanity. Probably because of his tattoos. But also, giant squids and sharks are natural enemies, so maybe there's something to that, too.
Regardless, the backbreaker drops The Shark like yesterday's news. He rolls over on the canvas, groaning in pain as he crawls up on to his hands and knees. Marseglia, meanwhile, hits the ropes and charges back to smash that head down into the mat with a vicious curb stomp.
Phillips: BOW DOWN!
Ranallo: The Shark said he refused to show that kind of veneration, but the Horror King is well-versed in teaching violent lessons in humility.
By the looks of things, The Shark is down for the count. Marseglia drops down and makes a cover...
1...
2...
No! The Shark kicks out right before the third fall.
Marseglia shoots a condescending sneer at his opponent - that glee from early taking a dastardly twist as he looks to finish him off now. Pulling The Shark up to his feet, Vinny spins him around as he goes to apply a dragon sleeper so he can execute the Farewell to Flesh.
Desperate to avoid getting smeared with a move so deadly, The Shark kicks out his feet and drives himself and his foe backwards into a turnbuckle. The Rumble Winner takes the brunt of the impact, which knocks the wind out of his lungs and causes him to loosen his grip on the People's Champion.
Marseglia stumbles forward while The Shark takes a moment to rest against the ropes and recover. Realizing that he might not have long to make the most of this moment of vulnerability, though, he springs forward and blasts Vinny across the back of the head with some forearm clubs. Before Marseglia can fall over, The Shark whips him around, grabs his head, and drops him hard with a snap DDT! Vinny eats a faceful of canvas!
Rather than go for a pin, however, the showboating Shark stands up tall over his semi-conscious body and looks around the arena. When he pulls off his elbow pad and throws it out into the ether, the fans get on to their feet to boo, knowing full well what's coming next...
Graves: I love it! The Most Electrifying Shark in the Deep Blue Sea coming in hot with the Deep Blue Elbow!
Phillips: Surely there's ground for a law suit here...
After busting out that arm-wavy dance, The Shark hits the ropes to come back to deliver his rendition of the People's Elbow.
That was the thought, anyway. He stops dead in his tracks, pale as a ghost, when Vinny sits up, unphased, borrowing a trope from another legend in the Undertaker.
The crowd pops big for the zombie-esque resurrection. Vinny is hasty in getting to his feet, but The Shark doesn't stay paralyzed in fear for long. He charges the Horror King only to get caught coming in with a Jump Scare DDT! Marseglia plants his opponent in the mat so hard it shakes the dang ring!
Just like The Shark, he doesn't go for a pin, though. Instead, he leaves the former UWF Champion lying prone on the canvas as he heads for the closest turnbuckle. The fans start buzzing again as the Marseglia scales the post, perching at the top like a friggin gargoyle as he lines up his human landing pad in his sights.
Ranallo: Redrum... Redrum...
Phillips: That's murder spelled backwards!
Ranallo: And it spells defeat for The Shark once Vinny hits it!
Graves: You two are the absolute worst.
Vinny stands tall on the turnbuckle to leap off for his finishing high-angle Senton Bomb. Just as he goes to jump, however, The Shark rolls over on his stomach and starts to crawl away - so much so that he's soon out of range. Marseglia lowers himself down from the top, whatever disappointment he may have over not getting to finish this fight in style masked by a predatorial glean in his eyes as he trails behind his victim-to-be.
The Shark drags himself towards the Official and uses the third man to help himself up to his feet. The Referee tries to pull away as The Shark climbs him like a ladder to reach a vertical base, risking a DQ for getting so handsy. Maybe the Ref shows some lenience because The Great One is clearly pretty groggy, or maybe cause he isn't actually doing any harm. Until he does.
When Marseglia comes in for the kill with a Pump Kick, The Shark tumbles to the side. Whether or not his tugging the Ref into harm's way is advertent or not is anyone's guess. Nevertheless, Vinny accidentally clocks the Official with a kick to the head that knocks him out cold while The Shark collapses again.
Phillips: The Ref is down!
Graves: That psycho Marseglia just attacked an Official! Send him back to the asylum!
Marseglia doesn't actually seem that bothered about nailing the third man. That's not going to stop him from hurting on The Shark some more. You know what will, though? A certain someone suddenly appearing at the head of the ramp!
Little Miss Bliss is looking creepy as all heck, capturing the full attention of the Horror King as well as the crowd. She's looking right back at Vinny and she's got him wondering just what the heck she could even want or be doing out here.
The answer comes from behind, and rudely.
Somebody rolls under the ropes on the far side of the ring and comes at Vinny from behind.
Its Bray Wyatt. Longest reigning UWF Champion in Revolution history. Standing in the ring for the first time in a year.
The crowd goes bananas. They aren't sure whether to cheer or boo cause they're too busy being shocked and awe'd, and all that confused emotion gets cranked to eleven when Wyatt snatches up Vinny from behind and lays him out with a Sister Abigail!
Ranallo: Sister Abigail!
Phillips: What the heck is going on out here?!?!
Vinny is leveled. Wyatt kneels over him for a few seconds, fascinated by the scene of the crime for a short while before he rolls away and vanishes into the night. There's no sign of Bliss on the ramp anymore, either.
Out of the three bodies in the ring, The Shark is the first to move. He crawls over towards Vinny and lays on top of him just as the Referee comes to. Seeing a pinfall being attempted, the Official's instincts kick in and he slowly makes the count...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER...
THE SHARK!
LL Cool J hits the PA and The Shark groggily gets up to have his hand raised by an equally-dazed Referee. The crowd ain't happy about any of it.
Phillips: Agh! Bray Wyatt, a master of mind games if ever there was one, just spoiled the in-ring return of Vinny Marseglia!
Ranallo: I fear that when it comes to the UWF's most legendary monsters, this town ain't big enough for the both of 'em. Some day soon, something's gonna have to give.
Graves: If Vinny Marseglia is gonna fall for the same stunt he's pulled a hundred times, that's his fault. Let's not take anything away from The Shark, who for my money, is poised to make the career comeback of the century here.
The Shark leaves the ring and limps up the ramp, jawjacking with the front row fans along the way as he celebrates his first victory as the "new him". Vinny eventually sits up in the ring, nodding to himself as he fantasizes about all the revenge he's planning on getting. Revolution rolls on!
The camera goes backstage where Sami Zayn is standing up in front of Will Ospreay, La Luchadroa and El Generico.
Sami Zayn: Last week was an embarrassment. Do you have any idea how that made me look? You two tried, and failed to cost Edge his match and for what? I already dealt with him! I'm glad that smug loser got his winning streak ended but I'd rather that second rate nobody move on than Edge.
And you. It's one thing to lose you own match but you're the reason why I lost to Kyle. You had no business getting involved!
Will Ospreay: Bruv.
Sami Zayn: Don't bruv me! We need to have a serious discussion about holding up your end of our partnership. I can't have people thinking less of me because of my proteges. So get your priorities in order before I decide to take matters into my own hands.
Sami walks off and Generico and Luchadora follow. Will looks on looking pissed as the show moves on.
The Revolution graphic flashes across the screen as we are returned to the commentary desk.
Tom Phillips: Well, ladies and gentlemen, earlier this week at Wrestle Con-dom 2023...
Mauro Ranallo: Mamma mia! What an unfortunate name for a Con.
Phillips: ...the UWF Prime Time Medalist Orange Cassidy was interviewed by none other than YouTube celebrity interviewer Chris Van Vliet.
Corey Graves: Oh, great! Name one guy I like less than Freshly Squeezed. I'll give you two hints: his initials are CVV and he always talks about gratitude.
Phillips: Here are a few moments from that interview.
The Revolution graphic flashes again before we are taken to the video. O.G. is standing by, hands in his pocket, looking chill as always. CVV just looks happy to be there.
The mic comes up. The interviewer does the interview thing.
Chris Van Vliet: Orange Cassidy, always good to see you! How're you doing? How are you enjoying Wrestle Con-dom 2023?
O.C. just looks at CVV like he's never heard the name of the event before. Even Trent can be seen in the background eyeing up the interviewer like he's just broken the social contract. CVV is just making aggressive eye contact with O.C.'s shades. He probably read somewhere that you should always stare a predator in the eye because nothing bad ever happens when you do that. Whatever the case may be, O.C. leans in to speak.
Look, I'll be honest, I'm not feeling so hot, Chris. Last week, the Orange Crushers were expecting my A game and instead, all I was able to give them was a C-Plus. And there was a lot of finger-pointing on the internet, or so Trent told me, with a lot of people saying Edge conspired with Sami Zayn because Sami was jealous I took his medal and made him ditch the Sami Dos Oros name, but I'm gonna be honest again and say I rewatched the footage and no, I don't think that's it, man.
CVV is nodding along as "Freshly Squeezed" just keeps right on talking.
See, the fact of the matter is I don't think Edge knew that Sami's thugs were coming, and I also know that Generico was aiming for him when he missed and hit me instead. That Edge took advantage isn't really his fault either. He's the Ultimate Opportunist, right? It's like that story with the scorpion and the frog. Everyone knows why the scorpion stung the frog. Edge is the scorpion. I was the frog. It's no biggie.
Chris follows up.
Do you think there is anything you could have done differently to change the outcome of that match-up?
O.C. nods.
Oh, definitely. Because the fact of the matter is that my undefeated streak only ended because I turned my back on the most important factor. See, I was just so excited to be at the dance that I forgot the thing that brought me there. I'm man enough to admit my mistakes, and the biggest one I made – the reason I'm not still in the King of Wrestle tournament – is that I turned my back on the life-changing power of Vitamin C. I didn't drink a single drop of orange juice during that match and it showed. That sattelite headscissors? Sloppy. The orange peel? Nowhere near enough oomph in it. All because I forgot the magic of fresh O.J. That chair shot? Probably wouldn't have even staggered me if I had my juice. It's a critical error and one I won't make again.
Aside from the raised eyebrow betraying his incredulity, CVV does a pretty good job of taking that one in stride. He moves on to his next question.
So, with the King of the Ring in the rearview, what's next for Orange Cassidy?
O.C. smiles.
You know, a man much more successful than I've been in the UWF once said, "Hard times make better men, mama!" That was Larry Sweeney. Anyway, I think I understand his point. Because before that King of Wrestle loss, all of the brands were calling me. Minute Maid. Tropicana. Sunny Delight. Even Tang, man. Even Tang. And then I lost to Edge and the phone stopped ringing. Nobody wanted my endorsement anymore, because Freshly Squeezed looked like he'd been wrung out. And then – and then! – me and the Best Friends watched the new Ant Man but it was so. Freaking. Bad. Anyway, all the brands are wrong. Because now, the monkey's off my back. Do you know how hard it is to carry the weight of expectation that people have when nobody can beat you? It's really hard. Even the Best Friends wouldn't shut up about it. And sure, it might've taken Edge some outside interference and my forgetting to drink my O.J. to do it, but I lost last week. And I lost a big opportunity, too. It's hard for me to imagine harder times than that, which is why I know I'm going to be an even better Orange than I've ever been before. Heck, I feel better already. Don't you feel it? Don't you feel how I'm better?
Orange seems to be peering at CVV, waiting for a response. There's an awkward silence, but then he smiles a bit, and nods.
Yeah, you know what? I think I feel it.
Orange nods.
I thought you might. Anyway, what's next for me? Well. I'm going to defend my Prime Time Medal again. And again. And again. And again. And over and over and over because I am Prime Time. I'm also going to punch that punk Maxwell Jerkoff FreudianSlip right in his perfectly surgically aligned, spray tanned face and become the Champion of the Intercontinents. And once that happens, I don't know, maybe they'll give me a role in the next Ant Man movie, but I hope it doesn't suck as much as Quantumania.
CVV nods along with that.
Orange, thank you so much for your time. I'm really big into gratitude these days, and I like to end every interview by asking my guest this question: what are three things you're most grateful for?
Without hesitation, Orange fires em off.
Fritos, the Best Friends, and freshly squeezed O.J. Anyway, I've got to go. I've got a signing.
And off he walks, as the show moves elsewhere.
For a few seconds, all is silent in the arena, as the lights dim into darkness. The fans are left with nothing to see, nothing to feel but anticipation...and as a technological-sounding tune begins, a lone spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp, paving the way for an opening to form, and for one man to rise from beneath.
Coming from his own domain, the UWF World Heavyweight Champion has his arms outstretched, his attire bathed in white, with flowing robes of purity having been donned by the one and only God of Professional Wrestling...
As the build finally comes to a close, with a much more energetic beat forming...and as soon as those first words sound out?
"THE ROAD I WALK IS PAVED IN GOLD"
"TO GLORIFY MY PLATINUM SOUL"
THAT is finally what begins the entrance of the World Heavyweight Champion.
Tony Chimel: From his mayoral residency in Harlan, Kentucky, weighing in at 220 lbs...he is THE REIGNING AND DEFENDING UWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'Mister' Trevor Lee!
With God having emerged from beneath the stage, He walks on with a massive grin on his face, all while showcasing just what he had taken back at Wrestlemania: The UWF World Heavyweight Championship. Proudly showcasing His Harlan Gold to those around him, Mister Trevor Lee would take their hatred, their vitriol and their disdain by simply turning the other cheek, just as his fellow Gods have taught him. The Butcher and Lance Cade follow behind him.
Even then, though, Lee would know that he still isn't done. There still is a match to be won, and a performance to be delivered upon these future devotees, so for now, He hops onto the apron of the ring, holds up the UWF World Heavyweight Championship with one arm, and with the other? Two fingers are extended, as He looks to bring himself right back...
blank "TO THE MOON!"
Entering the ring, Trevor would spin himself around quite a few times with his arms outstretched, before dropping down to his knees with a massive grin on his face. His head tilts up to the sky, eyes closed with a big grin on his face, before slowly bowing his head. Muttering a silent prayer to himself, Lee would take the moment...before popping up to his knees, and heading off to the corner, prepared as much as He can be for this next Godly test.
The opening bells of the New York Stock Exchange ring throughout the arena, as "Longhorn" blares loudly, signaling the arrival of The Wrestling God. The crowd in the arena is quick to break out into a chorus of boo's, showing their disdain for John "Bradshaw" Layfield. As the lights flicker between gold and green and the camera pans around the crowd, we see JBL's trademark limousine, complete with longhorns on the hood, push through the stage curtains and pull up to the side of the Revolution stage. As the limo comes to a stop, the driver hurries out of the front seat, and rushes towards the back seat door, which has been emblazoned with JBL's logo. The driver opens the door and out steps "The One Man Conglomerate" with a huge smile on his face. Layfield is wearing his ring jacket with a towel tucked in and wrapped around his neck, and his white cowboy hat. He looks around the arena and removes his hat, waving it at the crowd as he makes his way towards the stage.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring, weighting in at 290 pounds, from New York City - John "Bradshaw" Layfield - JBL!
Layfield walks down the ramp and waves his hat around towards the crowd, completely oblivious to how much these fans detest him. Layfield trots down the ramp, before he stops and looks at a fan at ringside with a look of disgust on his face. He scoffs and smirks as he walks down the ramp and up the stairs into the ring. He stops and removes his hat again, and throws his arms out, which draws a big reaction from an irate crowd. Layfield enters the ring, and places his hat back on his head, while he walks over to the turnbuckle. He pulls himself up to the top rope and again removes his hat and waves his arms out to his side, drawing another huge chorus of boo's from the crowd. JBL hops down and finally begins to focus his attention to the match at hand.
VS 
DING DING DING!
The two champions circle around the ring, looking for an opening to strike first. Lance Cade has his hands on the mat and JBL's foot brushes against it. He quickly turns to him and tells him to watch himself. FTR quickly rush over and try and confront the Harlan boys.
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like it took no time for things to start escalating.
Tom Phillips: These are two of the most egotistical men in professional wrestling today.
Corey Graves: You call it ego, I call it pride.
Tom Phillips: They're both mad that the other is calling themselves a God.
Corey Graves: Personally I subscribe to Polytheism.
The UWF Champion rushes at JBL while he's got his back turned and clobbers him with a Lariat to the back of the head that sends him spilling out onto the floor below. FTR goes to help him up but Trevor Lee goes to the top rope and comes flying out of the ring with a Moonsault Plancha to take out all three men! The Harlan natives are going crazy, The Butcher in particular who's edge of his mouth turns upright 1 inch. Lee picks up JBL and tosses him back into the ring. He climbs in after him and grabs him as he's getting up, hooking the head and leg to deliver God's Last Gift!
1 . . .
2 . . .
JBL kicks out! Lee picks him up and brings him over to the corner where he starts smashing his face into the turnbuckles over and over. He backs away while JBL turns and lies in the corner. Lee comes running back over and gives him a kick to the side of the head! The Television Champion looks to be in a bad way and Lee can sense it. He pulls the self proclaimed Wrestling God up and goes to show him his Political Aspirations. JBL manages to get an arm between his neck and Lee's arm and instead runs backwards and rams Lee into the corner. From there JBL throws Back Elbows at each side of Lee's face over and over until he's basically limp. Then Layfield picks him up and walks with him to the center of the ropes. He throws him overhead with a Fallaway Slam! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Lee kicks out!
Mauro Ranallo: The crowd seems to be having a hard time finding something to cheer for.
Corey Graves: That's because they're busy being in awe of two Gods in the ring! It's like if Zeus fought Hades!
JBL picks up Lee by his hair and slaps him in the face a few times with his free hand, calling him a silly little boy. He tells him he's going to show him what a true Wrestling God does before he kicks him in the gut and takes a draft of a fake cigar and puts it out on his back. He lifts the champion up for the Powerbomb but Lee starts hammering away at his head until he's drops off onto his feet. He goes for a Roundhouse but JBL puts his hand up only for it to be a feint and instead hits the Superkick to the jaw! JBL falls to all fours but Lee comes up on him and manages to lift him up into the Deadlift Gutwrench Powerbomb! He goes for the cover!
1. . .
2 . . .
JBL kicks out!
Mauro Ranallo: The strength of the UWF Champion is certainly God-like.
Corey Graves: About time you got with the program.
Lee is looking around and manages to spot a skybox that's lit up. Sitting there is none other than Leyton Buzzard watching him like a hawk. Lee mouths off at him and says this will be his future if he doesn't leave him alone. He stands behind JBL as he's getting back up, getting ready to lock in the Political Aspirations again. FTR Bald however grabs his foot from outside. Lee turns to face him and Cade comes running over very enthusiastically and just levels Dax with a Running Lariat! Cash comes over and starts brawling with Cade but The Butcher comes to help out. It's chaos at ringside but JBL takes advantage while Trevor Lee is looking out. He ends up turning around right into a Big Boot! The Television Champion picks him up right away and gives him a Full Nelson Slam! He hooks both legs for a deep cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Trevor Lee kicks out! The Wrestling God has had enough of this false deity and he walks over to the corner and watches as Lee is slowly getting to his feet. He moves in for the Clothesline From Hell but Lee counters with the Collision course! Both men roll away to a corner to recover while Cade and Butcher have Cash over by the announce table. The take off the protective covering and it looks like they might give him a Double Powerbomb though the table. They lift him up but Dax comes and Chop Blocks both of them from behind! FTR beats down on Butcher before picking him up and throwing him into the steel steps. Then they work on Cade and toss him over the announce table.
Tom Phillips: Look out!
Cade wipes out Phillips' but luckily Mauro and Corey got to safety. Corey laughs at Tom but in the ring, JBL and Lee both rise to their feet. They meet at the center of the ring and starts trading bombs, neither one bothering to defend in the slightest. JBL can slug it with the best of the them but the Harlan Mayor instead retaliates with a Roundhouse Kick! JBL staggers backwards into the ropes and Lee Clotheslines him over. The One Man Conglomerate manages to hang on but Lee grabs him. He goes to Suplex him back into the ring but Cash runs by and swipes at his feet causing JBL to land on top of him. The ref makes the pin while Dax holds down both of Lee's feet as he;s trying to kick out!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, the Television Champion, JBL!
Buzzard can be seen in the skybox shaking his head. Lee argues with the ref while JBL exits the ring quickly and FTR grab his title and walk with him up the ramp. The UWF Champion is fuming, clearly losing it after being proven to be the "lesser God". JBL is all smiles as the show goes off the air.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Edge vs Spike - Gunn
MJF vs O'Reilly - Crann
Shark vs Marseglia - Fauche
McIntyre vs Cody, JBL vs Lee - Danny
