Post by Danny on Jul 10, 2023 1:25:06 GMT -6
And now UWF presents...
As the logo is seen, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the fans from all around the world gathered for Final Battle! The camera pans over to the commentary team where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello and welcome Final Battle, Live from the Capitol One Arena in Washington DC! I'm Mauro Ranallo alongside my broadcast partners Tom Phillips and former International Champion Corey Graves.
Corey Graves: Final Battle? More like Chump Battle in our main event. Sami and Young Willy were robbed!
Tom Phillips: Hey both men went through some hard fought battles and ended up coming out on top. Edge is looking to become King two years in a row while Kyle looks to finally break the glass ceiling.
Mauro Ranallo:But who will be waiting for them at the end of the night? Will it be Trevor Lee or Drew McIntyre?
Corey Graves: Every championship is on the line tonight but
Tom Phillips: Every championship is on the line tonight but first let's hear form the challenger to the UWF Championship.
Backstage we see Drew McIntyre pacing back and forth on his cell phone. With his UWF title match against Trevor Lee coming up shortly, The Destroyer appears to be more stressed than composed ahead of the bout as he waits for a response on his phone.
Drew McIntyre: Come on, pick up the damn phone!
Suddenly there’s a knock on the locker room door and it quickly opens. The camera remains glued to McIntyre as it appears as though the person that has just walked in was exactly who the Scotsman was trying to get a hold of.
Drew McIntyre: Where the hell have you been?? I told you I wanted you here before the start of the show!
“The Benefactor”: Well if you must know I’ve actually been here for hours. The only reason I couldn’t get to you faster was because of how long he kept me waiting to speak with him...
Drew McIntyre: And what did he say?
“The Benefactor”: Nothing of any meaningful substance because he’s more focussed on making sure the show runs smoothly, but with that in mind I’d say that you shouldn’t have to worry about any additional external factors getting in the way of proceedings tonight.
Drew McIntyre: How can you be certain? It doesn’t sound for one minute like he’s given you any sort of assurance, although even if he did I’d be hesitant to trust his word considering how long the list of historical past discrepancies list is.
“The Benefactor”: I couldn’t agree more, but my genuine honest assessment after having words this evening is that I don’t think we need to take any additional extreme measures ourselves at this time. The legal and political stuff whilst admittedly tedious will work itself out naturally, meaning that the only thing which actually matters now is ensuring that you walk out of here with that UWF Championship in hand.
Drew McIntyre: If this company truly wants to have a present and future that it can be proud of then the natural order of things will see to it that that very outcome comes to fruition tonight. No doubt Lee will be relying heavily on his two sheep to make sure that things stay as they are, but as I’ve shown already, that’s a predicament which I am more than ready and prepared for.
“The Benefactor”: Do you nee..
Before the mysterious “Benefactor” can finish, McIntyre raises his hand to cut them off in anticipation of already having an answer to the question they were set to ask.
Drew McIntyre: I know what you’re going to ask and the answer is no. This is something I intend to do by myself, regardless of what other potential pitfalls might be out there. Because at least by standing tall as the lone Destroyer, I can prove once and for all to any and all doubters that I am more than capable of handling hostile environments such as this completely on my terms. It’s time to go and make history…
Following a clear statement of intentions, McIntyre grabs his ring coat and exits the locker room as the cameras move on.
As the sound of metal clashing echoes around the building, “Wish It Away” by Psycho Dalek starts to play and out from behind the curtain steps Drew McIntyre, ready to get down to business. The Scotsman slowly walks towards the top of the ramp and takes a moment to stop and look at the ground, before throwing his head back and beginning his walk towards the ring.
As the self-proclaimed Destroyer reaches the end of the ramp, he makes a turn towards the steel ring steps and takes another pause before smacking the top of them with his open right hand, not once, but twice, before climbing them and entering the ring through the middle rope. Once inside, McIntyre heads for the opposite turnbuckle and climbs to the top rope in order to perch and observe his outer surroundings for a moment before dropping back down and unclipping his ring coat in order to prepare himself for the upcoming contest.
For a few seconds, all is silent in the arena, as the lights dim into darkness. The fans are left with nothing to see, nothing to feel but anticipation...and as a technological-sounding tune begins, a lone spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp, paving the way for an opening to form, and for one man to rise from beneath.
Coming from his own domain, the UWF World Heavyweight Champion has his arms outstretched, his attire bathed in white, with flowing robes of purity having been donned by the one and only God of Professional Wrestling...
As the build finally comes to a close, with a much more energetic beat forming...and as soon as those first words sound out?
"THE ROAD I WALK IS PAVED IN GOLD"
"TO GLORIFY MY PLATINUM SOUL"
THAT is finally what begins the entrance of the World Heavyweight Champion.
With God having emerged from beneath the stage, He walks on with a massive grin on his face, all while showcasing just what he had taken back at Wrestlemania: The UWF World Heavyweight Championship. Proudly showcasing His Harlan Gold to those around him, Mister Trevor Lee would take their hatred, their vitriol and their disdain by simply turning the other cheek, just as his fellow Gods have taught him.
Even then, though, Lee would know that he still isn't done. There still is a match to be won, and a performance to be delivered upon these future devotees, so for now, He hops onto the apron of the ring, holds up the UWF World Heavyweight Championship with one arm, and with the other? Two fingers are extended, as He looks to bring himself right back...
blank "TO THE MOON!"
Entering the ring, Trevor would spin himself around quite a few times with his arms outstretched, before dropping down to his knees with a massive grin on his face. His head tilts up to the sky, eyes closed with a big grin on his face, before slowly bowing his head. Muttering a silent prayer to himself, Lee would take the moment...before popping up to his knees, and heading off to the corner, prepared as much as He can be for this next Godly test.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the UWF Championship! Introducing first the challenger, from Ayr, Scotland. Weighing in at 265 pounds. He is The Destroyer, Drew McIntyre!
Drew just stares ahead at Lee, eyes forward, not showing a single emotion as he is just waiting for the bell.
Tony Chimel: And his opponent, from his mayoral residency in Harlan, Kentucky, weighing in at 220 lbs...he is THE REIGNING AND DEFENDING UWF CHAMPION...'Mister' Trevor Lee!
Lee goes to the corner and climbs the top turnbuckle to raise the title up high. Massive boos from the crowd but why should a God care? He comes back down and hands the title to the ref who shows it off. He hands it to Chimel and he exits the ring and the ref calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
The UWF Champion walks to the center of the ring with his arms outstretched. He's diving Drew one last time to repent and praise him and he'll forgive him like the benevolent God that he is. McIntyre is tired of these games and just runs forward and knocks his block off with a Claymore! Lee immediately rols to the outside of the ring and lays flat on the outside as the crowd is going wild.
Mauro Ranallo: If you asked me 1 month ago if the crowd would be cheering to see Drew McIntyre about to win the UWF Championship, I'd have called to put you in an insane asylum.
Corey Graves: It's just a boot. What's a boot to a God.
Cade has a pamphlet of some kind and is waving it in front of Lee's face to try and give him some air but Drew comes out and decks Cade in the face. The Butcher walks over but he doesn't actually do anything, instead just stares down Drew as he picks up Lee and throws him back into the ring. McIntyre warns him about interfering in the match and then gets on the apron. As he's coming back in, Lee gets up and runs to the ropes, kicking the middle rope which in turn low blows Drew! The ref yells at Lee but it technically wasn't a low blow so he has to let it go. Drew is on all fours and Trevor grabs him from behind and slowly brings him up into the Cumberland German into the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
McIntyre kicks out! Lee climbs all over him and starts swinging wildly, just trying to beat him down. He gets a few good hits in but the Destroyer fights through the punches and gets back to his feet. He shoves Lee away but the UWF Champion goes for a Superkick. McIntyre lifts up his arm to block it but Lee just feinted and instead Superkicks his leg. Drew falls to a knee and Lee follows that up with a Running Knee Strike! He makes the pin again!
1 . . .
2 . . .
McIntyre kicks out!
Tom Phillips: Trevor Lee has faced men who were obsessed, men who seemed possessed but he's never stepped in the ring with a Destroyer.
Mauro Ranallo: He's has managed to pull one over on many opponents. He can out maneuver the best rule breakers but now he faces a man who is just brute strength and power incarnate.
Corey Graves: This man is a 5 star general. You don't become Mayor of Harlan on pure luck and you can be sure he'll overcome this new challenge.
Lee waits behind McIntyre as he gets to his feet. He slips up behind him and goes to lock in the Political Aspirations but drew catches his arm with one hand and is able to power out of it, keeping a hold of Lee's arm and bringing him in for a massive Short Arm Clothesline! Lee gets turns inside out and Drew grabs him by the hair and pulls him up into his arms only to send him across the ring with an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! Lee lands so hard that he bounces back up into the corner. Drew runs at him but Lee gets his feet up and knocks him back a few paces. The UWF Champion comes running out at him but Drew lays him out with the Glasgow Kiss!
Mauro Ranallo: Good God what a Glasgow Kiss!
Tom Phillips: And look at McIntyre, he's barely even phased by it!
McIntyre bends down and hooks the leg for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Lee kicks out! Drew grabs him by his hair and pulls him back up and hooks both arms in a double underhook. He's positioning him for the Future Shock DDT but Lee suddenly rushes forward and rams him into the corner. He starts throwing multiple shoulder thrusts to fully break free. He grabs Drew and brings him to the center of the ring and whips him into the ropes. Drew comes off them and Lee jumps into the air for the Cave In but McIntyre ends up catching him and throwing him down into a Powerbomb! Lee's feet are in the air form the impact and Drew flips him over and locks in the Iron Maiden! Lee is unresponsive and the ref grabs his hand. It drops right to the mat and he decides to call for the bell!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, and NEW UWF Champion, Drew McIntyre!
Tom Phillips: What a comeback for Drew McIntyre!
Corey Graves: That man just dethroned a God. I always knew I liked him, especially after he took out that face painted creep.
Mauro Ranallo: Drew is finally a World Champion here in UWF but what does that mean for the rest of the company and even EC3 who was close to firing him before Lee decided to give him the match?
Corey Graves: I don't think anyone is going to be able to stop The Destroyer now.
Lee is rolled out of the ring and Cade helps him to the back while The Butcher simply walks away. McIntyre is handed the title and he holds it up high for all to see the new face of the UWF as the show moves on.
We cut to some unscheduled programming brought to you by one of our UWF roster members.
TALKING!
SHIT!
WITH!
THE!
WAR!
HORSE!
After our little catchy shouty gang vocal introduction, we see the Warhorse already sitting down nice and cosy. Very contemplative.
WARHORSE: NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY, NOT TRYING TO GET A LAUGH… I’M NOT TRYING TO MAKE ANYONE HAVE THE WORST DAY OF THEIR JOB… BUT DO ANY OF THESE FUCKERS- OH.
WE’RE ROLLING?
COOL. COOL.
UH.
IT’S WARHORSE. BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH YOUR FAVOURITE SEGMENT ON THE WHOLE SHOW, THE WHOLE OF THE EVENT. SAY IT WITH ME.
TALKING.
SHIT.
WITH.
THE.
WAR.
HORSE.
COOL. FUCKING AWKWARD. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START NOW.
I’VE GOT A MATCH TONIGHT, THE WARHORSE FACES THE SHARK. WHAT A SHOWDOWN. OF THE THES. ALIKE THE SHITTY POST PUNK BAND.
THE WARHORSE CAME BACK HERE WITH A PURPOSE AND THAT’S TO RULE ASS NO MATTER WHERE IT TAKES THE WARHORSE, AND TONIGHT I FACE THE RIPOFF ROCK. THE PEBBLE IF YOU WILL. BUT NO HE MADE IT AQUATIC SO IT’S THE SHARK. SHARKS DON’T EVEN TASTE GOOD DUDE. FUCKING SHIT ANIMAL IF YOU ASK THE WARHORSE. SO LAME.
PFT, WHATEVER. IT’S ANOTHER NIGHT ON THE JOB FOR THE WARHORSE. THE WARHORSE WILL BREATHE ANOTHER DAY, I’M SURE. TWO AND ZERO THE WARHORSE HAS BEEN SINCE THE WARHORSE HAS BEEN BACK. THE STREAK. IF YOU WILL. UNDERTAKER IS SHITTING IN HIS BRITCHES. IT’S NOT FOR KIDS.
I DON’T INTEND ON IT BREAKING TONIGHT. IT’S JUST GONNA KEEP RACKING UP AND THEN THE WARHORSE WILL ASCEND TO UNDENIABILITY. THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS.
UH YEAH THAT’S IT.
SEE YOU LATER BROTHERS.
The Warhorse is cut off as we head elsewhere on UWF’s Final Battle PPV.
The titantron would cut to earlier in the day as Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash arrive to the Capital One Arena. The trio seem to be talking strategy. Nash has a fat cigar in his mouth. As the trio walk towards the building, Renee Young approaches the trio.
Renee Young: Joe if I could…..
Angle would step in front of Joe.
Kurt Angle: Woah what is this, that ambush reporting I've heard about.
Renee would look taken aback slightly.
Renee Young: I just wanted too….
Angle would interrupt again.
Kurt Angle: Wanted too what huh, ambush this man before he squashes Spike Dudley like a bug you know Renee you reporters are…..
Joe would place a hand on Angles shoulder.
Samoa Joe: Kurt, Kurt calm down friend, I trust Renee. She's good at her job. Why don't you go make sure the locker room is secure while Kev and I talk turkey with Renee.
Angle would look at Joe and then look at Renee before nodding and leaving the trio.
Samoa Joe: Sorry about him, he gets a bit excitable Renee, you know how it is. Anyway you got questions to ask and I'm here to answer.
Flashing a smile at Renee, Joe would beckon her to talk.
Renee Young: Thank you Joe. Now later on tonight you will be facing Spike Dudley in a rematch you wanted after claiming his victory at Backlash was a fluke. What do you want to prove here Joe?
Smirking, Joe would talk.
Samoa Joe: Well I'm looking to prove what everyone knows and that's at Backlash, Spike got lucky you know. If you run back the tape, I dominated that whole match. Yeah Spike might have got a shot here and there but he got lucky with that Dudley Dog.
People like to say that Spike is the greatest underdog in Wrestling history and that might be true but that's not what I saw at Backlash, I saw a scared little boy running away and getting in one lucky shot and that's all it was Renee, luck.
Renee would nod.
Renee Young: Now in the run up to this match you said: Win or Lose you're done with Spike, what does that mean.
Taking a second to form an answer, Joe would continue.
Samoa Joe: Its what it says on the tin Renee. If Spike can beat me, and I mean actually beat me, not run away the whole match, then I'll hold up my hands and admit he beat me and our business is concluded.
If he doesn't beat me however then it just proves what I've been saying about him: that his win was nothing but a fluke and once I do that, I don't have anything to prove anymore. Not to him and not to anyone in that crowd.
Joe would point at the arena.
Renee Young: Finally in the run up to your match here, yourself, Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash took one half of the Dudley Boys and Spikes brother, Bubba Ray. Do you think that will affect Spike tonight?
Looking at Nash, Joe would chuckle.
Samoa Joe: We certainly did, didn't we. I'll say it to you like I said it to Spike: it was nothing personal, just business. The amount of people the Dudleys took out over their career is astronomical but nostalgia blinds people to that.
We take out one thug and suddenly we're vilified for it Renee. Now personally I don't think that's fair. Like I said it was just business but if Spike wants to use that and light a fire up his ass for tonight, I hope he does. I want the best out of him and I won't expect less. If not well; him and Bubba will be sharing a room.
With that, Joe and Nash would walk off but Nash would grab the mic.
Kevin Nash: Joe's the shit I'm telling ya.
With that the nefarious duo would walk off, leaving a bewildered Renee.
Tony Chimel: The following triple threat contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UWF Television Championship. Introducing first….
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare come out to a huge ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
Tony Chimel: And his opponent first….
“Catch your breath” begins to blast through the pa system as the crowd stand to their feet as they hear the theme song Everybody turns their attention to the entrance ramp to watch Finn Balor walk out onto the stage. Finn Balor walks out onto the stage in his blue leather jacket and blue trunks and quickly embraces the crowd as he walks out.
Tony Chimel: Weighing In at 180lbs from Ireland, Finn Balor!
The lights begin to flash, making the crowd go wild. Finn Balor times his theme song perfectly and taunts the crowd as the lights flash. After taunting Finn Balor throws up his collar on his jacket and proceeds to walk down the ramp and make his way to the ring. Balor then climbs onto the turnbuckle and begins to showboat the crowd once more as the light flickers.
Finn Balor hops off of the turnbuckle.
Tony Chimel: And finally, introducing the UWF Television Champion……
The opening bells of the New York Stock Exchange ring throughout the arena, as "Longhorn" blares loudly, signaling the arrival of The Wrestling God. The crowd in the arena is quick to break out into a chorus of boo's, showing their disdain for John "Bradshaw" Layfield. As the lights flicker between gold and green and the camera pans around the crowd, we see JBL's trademark limousine, complete with longhorns on the hood, push through the stage curtains and pull up to the side of the Revolution stage. As the limo comes to a stop, the driver hurries out of the front seat, and rushes towards the back seat door, which has been emblazoned with JBL's logo. The driver opens the door and out steps "The One Man Conglomerate" with a huge smile on his face. Layfield is wearing his ring jacket with a towel tucked in and wrapped around his neck, and his white cowboy hat. He looks around the arena and removes his hat, waving it at the crowd as he makes his way towards the stage.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring, weighting in at 290 pounds, from New York City - John "Bradshaw" Layfield - JBL!
Layfield walks down the ramp and waves his hat around towards the crowd, completely oblivious to how much these fans detest him. Layfield trots down the ramp, before he stops and looks at a fan at ringside with a look of disgust on his face. He scoffs and smirks as he walks down the ramp and up the stairs into the ring. He stops and removes his hat again, and throws his arms out, which draws a big reaction from an irate crowd. Layfield enters the ring, and places his hat back on his head, while he walks over to the turnbuckle. He pulls himself up to the top rope and again removes his hat and waves his arms out to his side, drawing another huge chorus of boo's from the crowd. JBL hops down and finally begins to focus his attention to the match at hand.
The bell rings and JBL stays in his corner, beckoning for Finn and Cody to tee off on each other. The American Nightmare and The Irishman then look at each other and both charge for JBL, launching him into a corner and taking turns delivering stomps to him. JBL is now seated in the corner and Cody accepts a whip from Finn into the Champion, Cody hitting a corner dropkick to his seated opponent. Before Cody can go for a cover however, he is grabbed by the tights and is hoofed out of the ring by Finn Balor. Finn then covers JBL for the cover.
Mauro Ranallo: All is fair in love and war clearly tonight gentlemen. Cody and Finn forming a temporary alliance to take out JBL but Finn clearly out to win
Tom Phillips: Hey, who can blame Finn. Partnerships are great in these matches but they're not known for their longevity.
Corey Graves: Wow Phillips; that might be the smartest thing I've heard you sat.
1…2…Broken up
Cody would grab Balor's foot and drag Balor off of JBL, lifting Balor up Cody would go for a Russian Legsweep but Balor would reverse it into a Pele Kick attempt. Cody would catch Finns foot and go for an Ankle Lock attempt but the Irishman would push him off into the ropes, Cody would throw a Lariat but Balor would duck and Cody would hit JBL instead, sending the Texan out the ring. Balor would attempt a roll up onto Cody but the Grandson of a Plumber would roll through and hit a Dropkick to a seated Finn, going for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: What a sequence of action from these two toung competitor's.
Tom Phillips: Finn Balor putting in the work tonight, scratching and clawing to get back his Television Championship but Cody seems to have an answer for everything.
Corey Graves: Meanwhile the TV Champion, JBL, can't seem to get into first gear, nevermind out of it, he's going to need to find his footing to hold onto his belt.
1…2….Broken up by JBL.
As if he was Nostradamus himself, Coreys words seem to have predicted the future as JBL runs into the ring and grans Cody off of Finn, throwing him out of the ring but Cody manages to turn this into a dive onto FTR, taking them out. JBL waves it off and goes to work on Finn, delivering three rapid Elbow drops in a row. As he goes for a fourth however, Dominik Mysterio hops onto the ring apron causing a distraction. Finn uses this as an opportunity to hit a Lariat to the back of JBLs head. He then picks him up and hits a DDT to JBL and covers him.
Mauro Ranallo: THANKS TO DOMINIK MYSTERIO, FINN BALOT HAS A CHANCE TO TAKE THIS.
Tom Phillips: Mysterio with a timely interruption to stop the onslaught from JBL onto Finn.
Corey Graves: I expect a nice bonus is awaiting Dom backstage.
1….2…..2.5…..Broken up by Cody.
Cody comes flying in from off camera sacrificing his body to break up the pin, all three men are down on the mat and Cody is holding his ribs sucking air. Cody is the first to get back to his feel followed by Finn. The two look at each other and Cody beckons Finn to bring it. They start slugging off on each other, no man pulling their punches. They both know whats on the line tonight. As Finn goes for a punch, Cody ducks and as Finn swings wild again, Cody grabs him and hits the Snap Powerslam. He then sees the standing but dazed JBL and runs to the ropes, jumping off he hits a Cody Cutter onto JBL and covers.
Mauro Ranallo: CODY RHODES, EXERTING HIS DOMINANCE IN THIS MATCH
Tom Phillips: An excellent Cody Cutter could seal this for him.
Corey Graves: Great then we'll all need to hear how he overcame adversity for the 100th time.
1….2…..2.5……2.9……Finn breaks it up.
Finn jumps onto the back of Cody's head with a double foot stomp, breaking the pin up. He mounts a downed Cody and starts delivering the lefts and rights to him. Picking Cody up he whips him into the Corner and goes for the Shotgun Dropkick but somehow, Cody manages to grab Finns legs and tries to turn it into a Boston Crab but Finn pushes him off and gets to his feet but collides with Cody who hits a Crossbody. Cody grabs the prone JBL and hits the Cross Rhodes and goes for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: THIS IS IT, CROSS RHODES, NEW TV CHAMPION.
Tom Phillips: A new chapter in the story of Cody Rhodes starts here tonight.
Corey Graves: Oh God I can't…. Wait who's that in the ring, is that.
As the referee is about to hit the mat for 3, Rhea Ripley runs into the ring and hits a Big Boot to the side of Cody's head, knocking him off JBL and potentially out completely. Just to make sure, Rhea picks up Cody and delivers a Riptide to him. Finn looks at Rhea and smirks. Climbing to the top rope, he hits the Coup De Grace to JBL and covers.
1….2…..3
Tony Chimel: Your winner of this contest and…… NEW UWF TV CHAMPION, FINN BALOR.
Mauro Ranallo: Well gentlemen, what can i say but what a match. I felt it didn’t stop at all
Tom Phillips: It was certainly a great match Mauro and we have a new champion in Finn Balor.
Corey Graves: One has to wonder how Rhea Ripley plays into this guys but for tonight, Finn Balor reigns.
The camera cuts to Finn in the ring celebrating with the Mafia before cutting to a disappointed looking Cody sitting against the barrier at ringside and then focuses on JBL being lead away up the ramp by FTR. One more time the camera focuses on the new TV Champion.
The Revolution graphic flashes across the screen before we are taken backstage where "Freshly Squeezed" can be seen walking through the arena with his backpack slung over a shoulder. The fans can be heard popping at this sight, but Orange seems in his own little world as he softly... is that... is he singing?
Orange Cassidy (quietly): United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru...
The camera follows him as he continues to sing.
Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador too...
The camera continues to follow. Orange suddenly stops, and the lens thumps him in the back of the head. The camera quickly pulls back and the cameraman can be heard apologizing profusely from out of frame. Cassidy turns to glare at the cameraman.
Oww! What the h*ck, man! I've got an important match tonight and now I'm being attacked by random cameramen? Did Maxine Jerkwad Fistme pay you to assault me? I wouldn't put it past him... but no. You don't have the look of one of his toadies. Too small to have a legitimate collegiate wrestling background. Hmm, okay, so just look out, you know? Geez, this is the most important night of my career. I can't afford to be concussed. Especially since I'm trying to learn all of the nations of the Intercontinents by studying the Animaniacs "Countries of the World" song. But did you know some of the places Yakko names aren't even countries, man? The Caribbean? That's like... an entire region. And it's heckin' outdated too. Some of the countries he names aren't even countries anymore.
Orange sighs, rubbing the back of his head and muttering another soft "oww."
Anyway, I'm assuming you're following me because you're looking for some kind of comment about my upcoming match, right? Or is this just that B-roll shot to show me walking through the arena on my way to the ring that they air before the match in a picture-in-picture? You know what, it doesn't matter, because you're about to get some "Freshly Squeezed" gold. Ready?
Orange reaches back and pulls a bottle of OJ from his backpack.
See, I made a decision. Fishman is the toughest opponent I've had to face yet in a long line of tough guys, so I've decided to pregame a little bit, know what I mean? Instead of one bottle, I've brought five bottles of freshly squeezed OJ. I'm going to be some kind of... Super Orange. All killer, no filler, as the guys from my favourite teenage band Good Charlotte used to say. Bottoms up.
He chugs the orange juice, blissfully unaware that it was not, in fact, Good Charlotte that was responsible for "All Killer, No Filler." Once he's done the juice, he clears his throat with a pronounced "ahh" while crushing the empty bottle and... chucking it in a recycling bin. He's not a litterer. That's like, bad for the environment.
Showtime.
With that, he steps out of frame. The cameraman doesn't follow; he has what he needs. The feed moves on.
The slow intro of "Teenage Nosferatu Pussy" blares throughout the arena as the lighting changes to shades of orange and red. Once the opening lyrics are heard, Jamie Hayter steps through the entrance curtain and is met with jeers and boos. She stops on the stage, bends down, and then quickly leans backward while raising her arms. This triggers the pyro, which shoots up through the stage. The camera zooms in on her as she starts sauntering down the entrance while talking shit.
Tony Chimel: "From Southampton, England... JAMIE HAYTER!!!"
Jamie makes it to ringside and stops. She eyes the ring before climbing up onto the apron. She enters the ring and looks to the crowd. She cups her hand around her ear, similarly to Hulk Hogan, and the jeers and boos only intensify. She looks at the crowd with disdain and mockingly applauds as if telling them that's all they should do for her. This only gets the crowd angrier as they continue showering her with boos.
Head of the Table hits the PA System and out comes Roman Reigns. On his right he has the Wiseman of the Tribal Chief and on his left the problem solver Solo Sikoa. Reigns does a sly rubbing of his red leigh he is wearing signifying he is the the head of the table. The three men lift there hands up in the sky signifying 'The Ones'.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring from Pensacola, Florida being accompanied by Solo Sikoa, and Paul Heyman. The Tribal Chief Roman Reigns!
Reigns and company make there way to the ring and the reception is mixed for the Tribal Chief. Roman is taking his time to get in the ring showing little urgency. Roman and crew finally get into the ring and when they do they once again throw the ones up high in the sky. Roman removes his red leigh and hands it to the Wiseman who exits the ring. Reigns than turns to the problem solver and he pats his cousin on the shoulder signifying it's okay and Solo exits the ring and Roman gets prepared for battle.
DING DING DING
Both participants walk up to the center of the ring, neither one backing down. Roman looks less than impressed with Hayter but Jamie lifts her arm up and kisses her bicep telling him she's gonna run right through him. Roman turns his head away and laughs but Jamie just slaps the taste out of his mouth. Roman looks at her like she's crazy for having the audacity to slap him. He goes for a punch but she ducks it and goes to town with some punches of her own, backing Roman into the corner. She climbs to the middle rope and unloads on him some more. She doesn't care for the traditional 10 punches in the corner, instead just striking hard and fast as many times as she wants. Roman however reaches up and grabs her, bringing her forward into a Powerbomb!
Corey Graves: Welp, this one's over.
Mauro Ranallo: How can you say that? Hayter has beaten two former Television Champions in her short time here.
Corey Graves: There's a difference between two former TV champs and the Tribal Chief.
Tom Phillips: Weren't you like one of Roman's biggest antagonizers the last time he was here.
Corey Graves: That's when he pal'd around with his stupid cousins. Now he's got Solo and Heyman with him and you can just tell he's turned things around. This is a completely different Roman Reigns.
Roman grabs Hayter by her hair and pulls her back up. He drags her over to the corner where he smashes her face into the top turnbuckles a few times. He turns her around and grabs her face with both hands and tells her to not ever put her hands on the Tribal Chief. She grabs him back and gives him a Headbutt but she only knocks herself out and she slumps to a seated position. Roman shakes his head, you should never headbutt a Samoan. Rather than waste any more time with her, he pulls her away from the corner and makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Hayter kicks out! He picks her right back up tosses her onto his shoulders. He casually walks to the ropes and talks all kinds of trash but she starts to elbow him in the side of the face until she drops behind him. He turns around and she Clotheslines him over the ropes. He manages o hang on and pick himself back up but he runs to the ropes to build up steam for a Big Boot that knocks him to the floor! She exits out onto the apron as Heyman goes to check on his Tribal Chief. Hayter comes flying off with a Shoulder Tackle to knock Roman back down. She grabs him by the hair and drags him over to the steel steps and starts ramming his head into it over and over. She then backs away to get a running start for a Running Knee Strike! Roman's head gets caught between the cold hard steel and Jamie's knee. She picks him up and rolls him back into the ring before following in for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Reigns kicks out! Jamie picks him back up and gives him a few slaps to the face telling him she will do whatever she wants to to so called Tribal Chief. She whips him into the corner and goes running in for the Clothesline but Reigns gets a boot up and knocks her back a few paces. He runs at her but she catches him with a Urange Backbreaker! She keeps a hold of him and spins out into a Hangman's Neckbreaker! She makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Roman kicks out!
Tom Phillips: Jamie Hayter is really giving the Tribal Chief a run for his money.
Corey Graves: Look he might be a little rusty. We have no idea what he's been up to since his last time but it's clear that his wiseman has a plan and it'll come into fruition shortly.
Mauro Ranallo: Well he better do it quickly because all it takes is just one good hit before she makes him drink a bottle of Hayterade.
He turns over to get back to his feet but Jamie stands behind him. She reaches over and grabs his arm and spins him out for the rip cord but Reigns counters with a Clothesline of his own! Hayter gets turned inside out with that move and Roman picks her back up and lifts her into a powerbomb position except he instead puts her in a crucifix. She manages to kick herself free and land behind him. She runs into the ropes and comes back but Roman turns around and pops her into the air for a Samoan Drop! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Hayter kicks out! Roman goes to the corner and cocks his fist before slamming it into the mat. He's waiting as Jamie gets to her feet and slowly turns around. He moves in for the Superman Punch but as he's in the air, Hayter catches him and plants him down with a Uranage! Roman turns over onto all four to get up but Jamie starts giving him Repeated Knee Strikes before she picks him up and hits a Falcon Arrow! With Roman being bigger, she can't quite reach to his leg to hook it for a pin and it allows Reigns to roll away to the outside. She's not just going to let him rest though as she exits and comes right after him. She walks towards him but Solo Sikoa stands in front of her with his arms crossed.
Corey Graves: Looks like the Problem Solver is about to live up to his name.
Jamie looks at him and just smiles before decking right in the face!
Tom Phillips: Welp looks like he was merely just an obstacle to run through.
Mauro Ranallo: But he bought Roman some time, LOOK OUT!
Reigns comes running in for a massive Spear! Jamie gets nearly broken in half and Roman is all smiles. He picks her up right away and tosses her back into the ring. He climbs in after her and rather than give her any show of respect, he simply places his boot on top of her and tells the ref to count.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Hayter shoves his boot off of her and gets the shoulder up! The lackadaisical cover may end up being the Head of the Table's downfall. He picks Hayter back up and lifts her up for a Powerbomb. She starts fighting back with rights to the dome and manages break free to her feet. She gives Roman a Big Boot that turns him around and knocks him into the ropes. She comes up behind him and ripcords him out for the Hayterade! She makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
But NO! Roman's foot is on the bottom rope! Solo Sikoa casually walks away but it's pretty apparent to Jamie what just happened.
Tom Phillips: Solo Sikoa just cost Jamie Hayter the match!
Corey Graves: What are you talking about, that's Roman's wherewithal. The Tribal Chief always knows exactly where he is in the ring.
Jamie exits the ring and grabs Solo from behind and throws him into the barricade! She climbs back into the ring and Roman is starting to get up in the middle of the ring. She comes up behind him and again grabs him arm. She pulls him in with the ripcord but Roman ducks the Hayterade and hits the ropes. Jamie turns around but she ends up getting cut in half with another Spear! Roman makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Roman Reigns!
Heyman stands on the apron and claps for his Tribal Chief. Solo comes in as well holding his shoulder after being thrown into the barricade but the trio stand tall over Jamie Hayter. Roman mouths to the camera to acknowledge him as the live feed goes elsewhere.
The backstage area is in chaos, filled with frantic energy. Suddenly, the door to EC3's office bursts open, and two imposing figures emerge, dragging Leyton Buzzard out forcefully. Buzzard fights back with every ounce of strength, kicking and screaming, desperately trying to break free from their grip.
"What do you mean I'm fired?"
Buzzard shouts, his voice filled with disbelief and anger.
"Fired?"
"You've got it all wrong! It's TREVOR LEE who should be fired!"
But despite his efforts, Buzzard remains trapped, the two men continuing to drag him away. Just as they reach the hallway, EC3 steps out of his office, witnessing the chaotic scene before him. Carter holds his jaw, evidence of a recent scuffle, as he observes Leyton's emotional breakdown.
"You're nothing but a puppet, Carter!"
Buzzard's voice echoes down the corridor.
"He's all-powerful, controlling everything! Can't you see?"
Spittle flies from Buzzard's mouth as he passionately vocalizes his frustration. His words hit EC3 like a jolt, leaving him momentarily stunned.
"I'll be back!"
Buzzard exclaims fiercely, determination burning in his eyes.
"Mark my words, I will return to slay the God controlling this company!"
Unable to break free from the hold, Buzzard finds himself restrained in a tightly fitted straitjacket. He continues to squirm, desperately searching for a way to pull off a miraculous escape like a master illusionist. However, his attempts are in vain, and the restraints hold him firmly in place.
"I will bring an end to God himself!" Buzzard's voice resonates with a mixture of defiance and madness."
Finally, the two men forcefully throw Buzzard into a waiting van, the door slamming shut behind him. The vehicle speeds away, carrying Leyton Buzzard into an uncertain future.
We open the scene to see Renee Young standing backstage, awaiting to interview one of UWF’s talents.
Renee Young: Renee Young here, with an exclusive conversation with the man tonight facing former two time UWF Champion The Shark, Warhorse. How are you feeling tonight Warhorse?
The camera pans to see Warhorse standing in full gimmick.
WARHORSE: YA KNOW RENEE. PEOPLE CALL ME IGNORANT ON MY BEST DAY. THE SHARK IS A MAN THAT HAS THE ACHIEVEMENTS, THE BACK CATALOGUE OF AWARDS HERE IN THE UWF. HE’S BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK. I’VE NEVER FACED HIM. I’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN THIS DUDE ABOUT UNTIL ROCKING BACK UP LAST MONTH.
THE WARHORSE CAME BACK WITH AN INTENT FOR A LEGACY, THE WARHORSE CAME BACK TO PROVE HIMSELF. AND IF THAT’S BY KNOCKING DOWN FORMER CHAMPS, SO GODDAMN BE IT RENEE.
I DON’T VIEW HIM AS A CHAMP, I DON’T SEE HIM AS ONE. HE DOESN’T HAVE A DAMN THING AROUND HIS WAIST. HE EMBARRASSINGLY LOST A PRIME TIME CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH TO ORANGE MOTHERFUCKING CASSIDY? THAT’S A CHUMP MOVE TO THE WARHORSE.
SO IF IT MEANS THE WARHORSE IS VIEWED AS A HIGHER CONTENDER BY KNOCKING THIS DUMBASS DOWN A PEG THEN DAMN BE IT.
Renee Young: You mention not seeing The Shark, formerly known as Shark Boy, as a threat. What makes you think you shouldn’t worry about tonight? Is The Shark beneath the Warhorse?
WARHORSE: WELL, DUH.
Renee kinda seems a bit stumped by the Warhorse’s ignorant response in not caring that he’s facing a UWF Hall of Famer tonight.
Renee Young: UWF Hall of Famer, The Shark?
WARHORSE: AS FAR AS THE WARHORSE HAS SEEN, WHICH ISN’T A LOT THE WARHORSE MUST ADMIT, THE SHARK LOST ALL CREDIBILITY THE SECOND HE WASN’T SHARK BOY. MAYBE BEING A PALE IMITATION OF STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN WORKED BETTER FOR HIM, BUT HE’S FELL OFF HARDER THAN ALAN RICKMAN OFF THAT SKYSCRAPER IN DIE HARD.
I ALMOST FEEL BAD FOR HIM.
Renee Young: It’s clear you have no respect for the man you face tonight, is there any strategy going into this? Is there anything you’ve picked up from studying tape?
WARHORSE: THE WARHORSE DOESN’T STUDY TAPE, THAT SHIT IS FOR FUCKING NERDS, AND IF THE WARHORSE DID IT WOULDN’T BE WATCHING A MOTHERFUCKER CALLED THE SHARK, THE WARHORSE TELLS YOU THAT RENEE. THE WARHORSE IS JUST GONNA RULE HIS ASS.
Renee Young: Fair enough. Well good night tonight.
WARHORSE: I DON’T NEED IT.
Renee Young: Back to you guys.
We cut back into the rest of Final Battle.
Mauro Ranallo: Gentlemen, are you ready for our next contest? Sami Zayn and Will Ospreay will be teaming up to take on Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.
Tom Phillips: Sami and Ospreay have formed a cohesive unit, but I don't think they can match the bond that Mysterio and Guerrero have.
Corey Graves: Shut up, Phillips! Nobody asked your opinion.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 388 pounds, representing the LwO, Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero!
"Viva La Raza" hits and the fans get to their feet as they know two legends are about to be in front of them. And they do not wait long to appear. Sure enough, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio make their presence felt. But on this special night, the duo decides to show up in style.
Tom Phillips: Would you look at this!
The LwO show up in one of Guerrero's vintage low riders. The car makes its way down the aisle as the music bumps. They reach the bottom of the ramp before Eddie flips a few switches and the car begins to bounce. The fans in the arena begin to pop as Guerrero and Mysterio are enjoying themselves. Eddie shuts the engine off and both members of the group leap out the car and head into the ring and pose as their music fades.
The funky beat of Walk The Moon's "Headphones" plays and the crowd starts to boo as it means the arrival of the current? World Tag Team Champion Sami Zayn. He has the title in his hands and dances with it on the stage. He ends up calming down a bit but still walks with some swagger down the ramp, swinging his belt around like he's got a big one.
Tony Chimel: And their opponents, first... From Montreal Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 212 pounds, The Dynamic Sami Zayn!!
Sami slides into the ring and continues to dance around with his belt much to the chagrin of the paying audience. Sami walks over and makes sure to show it off to all the fans before preparing for the match.
Tony Chimel: And his tag team partner...
Will Ospreay makes his way through the accumulated mist, strolling toward the ring at a steady pace, gaze fixed upon the ring, teeth grit with brazen anger. His glare passes through various members of the crowd, though boos ring out around the arena, members of the public standing at the barricades outstretch their arms desperately in hopes of a response in the form of a reciprocated high five or acknowledgement from Ospreay. He doesn't entertain their hopes.
Tony Chimel:
"On his way to the ring, weighing in at 220 pounds. Fighting out of Rainham, England, he IS the Commonwealth Kingpin of the United Empire, The ASSASSIN, WILL OSPREAY!"
Ospreay pays no mind to the ring announcer, he rolls into the ring, stares directly down the main camera, bounds one leg over the top rope and another leg upon the bottom rope and throws up the signature hand sign of the United Empire. He stands directly in it's path upon the rope for a solid few seconds before dismounting the rope and climbing atop the nearest corner and staring with eyes like death into the crowd. He takes off his entrance gear, throwing them over to a nearby ringside production crew member.
After a moment, Ospreay climbs down from his perched position on the turnbuckles and lays back in his corner, fiddling with his wrist tape while he waits for the match to start, a clear snide look washed across his face.
DING
DING
DING
And this tag team match is underway. For the LwO, Eddie Guerrero will be starting. While for the opposition, it will be Sami Zayn. The two meet in the center of the ring before locking up with a traditional collar and elbow tie up. Guerrero uses his superior strength to force Zayn down to a knee before Zayn is able to get back to a vertical base and snap off a quick arm drag that sends Guerrero across the ring. Guerrero does not stay down long though as he gets back to his feet and locks up with Zayn again. This time, Guerrero performs a quick go behind and lifts Zayn off the canvas and slams him stomach first back down onto the mat. Guerrero quickly slaps Zayn in the back of the head, mocking him in the process.
Mauro Ranallo: Eddie Guerrero playing games with Sami Zayn early.
A frustrated Zayn gets to his feet and Guerrero asks for another lock up. Zayn feigns it before slapping Guerrero across the face, which stuns Latino Heat. Zayn uses this opportunity to force Guerrero onto the ropes and throw him off. As Eddie runs across the ring and comes back at Zayn, Sami leaves his feet and leapfrogs over him. Eddie runs the other far ropes and comes back at Zayn. Zayn drops down to his stomach as Eddie leaps over him and keeps running. Eddie hits the initial ropes once more before Sami makes it to his feet and connects with a beautiful standing dropkick directly to Guerrero's face. Guerrero goes down and Zayn goes for the first cover of the match...
1...
2...
Guerrero kicks out!
As Guerrero kicks out, Zayn drags him to his corner and tags in Will Ospreay. Before exiting the ring, Zayn sits Guerrero in the corner as Ospreay enters. Ospreay wastes no time no time putting the boots to Guerrero in the corner before lifting him back to his feet and delivering a vicious knife-edge chop directly to Guerrero's chest. You can hear the echo throughout the arena. Ospreay proceeds to follow up with yet another chop as Guerrero groans in pain. Ospreay then tag Zayn back in...
Corey Graves: And you idiots thought Zayn and Ospreay couldn't work as well as Guerrero and Mysterio.
Zayn re-enters the ring and he and Ospreay each throw one of Guerrero's arms over their respective shoulders before performing a double snap suplex. You can hear the impact on the mat as Guerrero's back hits. Ospreay leaves the ring as Zayn floats over and goes for another cover...
1...
2...
Guerrero kicks out!
Tom Phillips: Going to take a lot more than that to defeat Eddie Guerrero.
Guerrero crawls over to the far corner, trying to catch his breath. Sami is right on his heels. And as Guerrero pulls himself to his feet, Sami hits him with a right hand, stunning Latino Heat. Sami then grabs him by the arm and whips him towards the opposite turnbuckle, but Guerrero reverses. Sami hits the turnbuckle with so much force that he stumbles out. Guerrero lowers the shoulder and sends Sami Zayn flying with a back body drop. Sami recovers very quickly and gets back to his feet where Eddie meets him with a clothesline. Sami goes down but gets back to his feet and Guerrero hits him with another clothesline. The process repeats and as Sami gets up this time, Guerrero snaps off a running hurricanrana that takes Zayn down for good this time. As the fans get to their feet, Guerrero goes for a cover...
1...
2...
Zayn kicks out!
Mauro Ranallo: Seems like Guerrero has finally gotten it going.
Tom Phillips: The LwO is going to need it if they want to win.
Guerrero looks to go back on the offensive but as he reaches for Sami's head, Zayn catches him with a right hand to the stomach. This halts Guerrero's momentum and Zayn hits him with another. Zayn the grabs Guerrero by the tights and tosses him backwards into his team's corner. Guerrero finds himself sitting in the opposite corner yet again. This time, Zayn takes his boot and places it on Guerrero's neck, choking him in the process...
Tom Phillips: Now, this is just low.
Corey Graves: What? This is well within the rules Phillips.
Considering this is a choke within the ropes, the referee has to step in and do his job...
1....
2....
3....
4....
The referee pulls Zayn off Guerrero, threatening to disqualify him if the count gets to 5. Zayn and the referee begin to argue, with Sami turning the referee's attention away from his corner. While Sami does this, Ospreay takes the tag rope and begins choking Guerrero with it!
Tom Phillips: Now, is this within the rules, Graves?
Eddie gasps for air and flails his arms around. On the far side of the ring, Rey is begging for the referee to look. But he's too preoccupied with Sami Zayn. So Rey decides to take matters into his own hands. He leaps off the apron and begins walking around the ring towards Ospreay. This does happen to catch the referee's attention and he directs Mysterio to get back to his corner. As Rey and the ref go back and forth, Sami decides to take a couple more quick stomps at Guerrero. Rey heads back to his corner and the referee FINALLY turns his attention back to the heels. Sami makes another tag to Ospreay...
Mauro Ranallo: More great teamwork from Zayn and Ospreay!
Ospreay enters the ring and he and Zayn look to double team Guerrero again. They hold Guerrero against the ropes and shoot him off. As Guerrero bounces off, both men lower their heads, looking for a double flapjack. But before they can execute the double team, Guerrero grabs both men by the head and delivers vicious DDTs to each man.
Mauro Ranallo: And that's what the LwO needed! Let's see if Guerrero can get to his partner.
Corey Graves: Mysterio hasn't been in the match yet, so one would have to assume he's chomping at the bit.
Mysterio stands on the apron, slapping the top turnbuckle, trying to motivate Guerrero to get to the corner. The fans in the arena begin to clap as well as Guerrero crawls closer and closer. Latino Heat inches closer and closer, but as he is making his way towards Rey, Ospreay grabs him by the leg, trying to stop him.
Tom Phillips: Get there, Eddie!
Corey Graves: Way to be impartial!
Eddie gets to one leg, with Ospreay clutching the other. He outstretches his arm, but it's not enough. Eddie is trying to drag Ospreay to his corner, but Ospreay is like a Boa Constrictor. The fans are yearning for it and Eddie gives them what they want by finally diving and tagging in Rey Mysterio!
Tom Phillips: And here comes Mysterio!
The crowd goes crazy as Rey is tagged in. Sami Zayn rushes across the ring, hoping to meet Mysterio as he enters, but Rey springboards into the ring and takes him down with a crossbody. Ospreay has gotten back to his feet and looks for a clothesline, but Rey ducks under and comes back at Will with a Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors that sends Ospreay to the outside. By this time, Guerrero has gotten to his feet. He sees Sami has also taken a powder to the floor on the other side of the ring. Both members of the LwO look at one another, as if they're thinking the same thing. They both leave their feet and perform planchas onto their opponents. Rey comes down on Ospreay and Guerrero lands hard on Zayn. As Guerrero heads back to his corner, Rey grabs Ospreay off the floor and throws him back into the ring. Mysterio gets on the apron as he prepares to deliver his next blow. Ospreay manages to stumble to his feet and Rey springboards towards him. But as he does, Ospreay manages to cock back and catch him with a vicious super kick.
Mauro Ranallo: The Silent Whisper!
After the super kick, Ospreay drags Mysterio away from the ropes and goes for a cover...
1...
2...
Guerrero makes the save!
Guerrero coming in brings in Sami Zayn. Zayn goes right after Guerrero. The two exchange blows until Sami drives them both through the ropes and back to the floor. Back in the ring, Ospreay is stalking Mysterio. The luchador struggles to get to his feet but as he does, Ospreay spins him around and looks to lift him up for the Falcon Arrow. But as he lifts him up, Rey lands behind Ospreay on his feet, before delivering a dropkick to the back. The dropkick sends Ospreay face first onto the second rope as the crowd goes crazy...
Tom Phillips: Here we go!
Rey calls for it. On the outside, you hear a loud thud sound as Sami throws Guerrero into the ring steps. But back in the ring, Rey runs the far ropes and comes back before hitting Ospreay with the trademark 619. Rey stands tall on the apron as Will tries to get to his feet...
Corey Graves: Might be time for a little West Coast Pop!
Ospreay gets to his feet and Rey springboards in, looking for the West Coast Pop. But once again, Ospreay catches him. But this time he catches Rey with a mean Back Elbow...
Corey Graves: Hidden Blade! Say goodnight!
Rey's body goes limp. But Ospreay isn't done. He drags Rey to his team's corner before deciding to head to the top. But as he reaches the top, he doesn't feel Sami Zayn tag him on the leg...
Mauro Ranallo: Blind tag by Zayn!
Ospreay is too committed to notice. He leaps off the rope and rotates, landing hard on Rey with a 450 Splash. But pretty much as soon as contact is made, Sami Zayn rushes into the ring and grabs Ospreay by the tights, throwing him outside the ring and to the floor. With the hard work done, Zayn pulls Rey away from the ropes and goes for the cover...
1...
2...
3...
Tony Chimel: Here are your winners, Will Ospreay and Sami Zayn!
Sami's music plays as he's estatic in the ring after picking up this victory. On the outside, Ospreay can only help but smile. I guess turnabout can be fair play sometimes. Final Battle rolls on.
We open up in MJF’s personal locker room as he is in his ring gear, with the championship hanging up behind him. He is in the middle of wrapping his wrist and hand in tape as he notices the camera.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: Tonight the fans get to see what they’ve been hoping to see for months. They get to see someone who they actually like compete for this championship, someone who panders to them and pretends they mean a damn thing. It’s cute how you all attach yourself to someone you can understand, someone you see yourself in…the guy whose whole gimmick is being the laziest person to have ever stepped into the ring. That’s what you gravitate to, that’s what you all bond with. I should be surprised, but I’m not because you people are lazy sacks of shit who don’t appreciate the greatness in front of you.
MJF finishes with the tape on his right hand. He pats it tight and then begins to slowly tape around his left wrist and palm.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: There’s a lot of talk and excitement going around. I’m being made to listen to endless clip, one after the other of all you moron marks on the internet speculating about my match. Trying to pretend that Orange Cassidy has a chance against me. So many of you talking about how great it will be for me to be ‘put in my place.’ How it may be the biggest pop of the night when I lose. And pop of the night, can you idiots stop trying to make yourselves sound more in the business by sprinkling in phrases you think are so inside you are special for knowing them?
MJF stops wrapping for a moment, takes a deep breath and then continues.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman: The only thing popping tonight is going to be this fantasy balloon you all seem to have. Orange Cassidy is not walking out of here tonight as Intercontinental Champion, full stop. This is a reality you all have to get through your thick skulls. When the smoke clears and Final Battle is in the books, I’m walking out of this building tonight with this belt still around my waist. The sooner you all understand that, the less it will hurt when it happens. Because I guarantee you I am not walking out of here without this belt. I’ll be damned if I’m the guy who hands this championship over to some Orange Cuck. So cheer your heads off, hope beyond hope, but know that none of it matters. None of it changes what is inevitable. Orange Cassidy will never be Intercontinental Champion as long as I have a say in it, because I’m Maxwell Jacob Friedman. I’m better than you and you know it.
Just like that MJF breaks the tape and pats down both sets of taped wrists as the scene fades out on MJF continuing to get ready for his match.
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
The bewildering sounds of "Raining Blood" blast through the PA, with the wailing distortion echoing through our ears. The spooky sounds continue to flow, until we peak up and then we hit the strong, driving riff coming through the speakers, as the Warhorse pumps through the curtain, standing off with menacing head bangs with a strong grip with microphone in hand. The Warhorse sympathisers in the crowd bang their heads with ultra enthusiasm through the whole of the first two verses, as well as the MAJORITY Slayer fans.
The Warhorse finishes up headbanging up at the top of the ramp, and then starts walking down the ramp with bold brash confidence. He slides up onto the apron, climbing right through the ropes, and standing in the middle of the ring as we hit the chorus:
RAINING BLOOD,
FROM A LACERATED SKY,
BLEEDING IT'S HORROR,
CREATING MY STRUCTURE,
NOW I SHALL REIGN IN BLOOD.
The Warhorse headbangs as we get a bewildering Kerry King guitar solo, a true assault to the senses. As the song fades, the Warhorse gets ready for his match.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent…
”DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE SHARK IS COOKING?”
The crowd immediately rain down with the boos as the former Shark Boy, rechristened The Shark makes his way out onto the stage to an instrumental mix of Tupac's seminal classic 'How Do U Want It?'. The Shark stands basking in the noise from the crowd, taking it all in before heading down the ramp.
Tony Chimel: From Cocoa Beach, Florida. Weighing in at two hundred and five pounds, The Shark!
The Shark finishes his walk down the ramp and enters the ring, getting ready for the match ahead.
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, there’s an emphatic and audible, “RULE HIS ASS!” chant emanating from the capacity crowd. The Shark is visibly taking exception to this while WARHORSE is soaking it in. ”You think you’re a bigger star than The Shark?” The Great One can be heard asking his opponent, to which WARHORSE nods with a smile. The Shark shakes his head and walks over to the nearest turnbuckle, ascending it and closing his eyes as he smells the air a la the genuine article he’s impersonating as the fans stop chanting and it seems like all of them are rallying together to loudly boo. The Shark opens his eyes and hops down from the turnbuckle, looking defeated as WARHORSE is pointing at him and laughing as The Shark gestures to the turnbuckle, inviting WARHORSE to try and get a better reception. WARHORSE gladly takes him up on his offer and walks over to it, ascending it and throwing up one arm as he forms the horns with his fingers. The crowd cheers just as loudly as they booed The Shark and then start a new melodic chant of, “WAR-HORSE IS FUCKING ME-TAL.” WARHORSE hops down and turns and walks towards The Shark with a smile on his face as The Shark looks incensed. The Shark looks to the fans on one side, then the other, then looks at WARHORSE before slapping the taste out of his mouth with all the impact he can physically put behind it.
The crowd, “Ooh”’s but most of them are booing as The Shark is now the one wearing a smile on his face while WARHORSE’S head is still turned in the direction he was slapped. WARHORSE slowly turns his head until he’s looking at The Shark but instead of looking angry, WARHORSE has a smirk on his face, visibly puzzling The Shark. WARHORSE answers his visible confusion with a verbal taunt of, “PUSSY BOY!” as he slaps The Shark in the same fashion, across the face with as much force as he can physically put behind it. The Shark stands there with his head turned in the direction he was slapped, but this doesn’t last long as he whips his head around and hits WARHORSE with a closed fist, then pops him with another, and another, then looks at his hand as he brings his arm back and connects with another strike that sends WARHORSE into the ropes. As WARHORSE comes staggering off the ropes, The Shark grabs him and hoists him up, pivoting around and planting him with a Spinebuster. The Shark now stands at the head of the downed metalhead as the crowd boos at the smiling People’s Champion as they all are mutually cognizant of what’s coming next. As The Shark hits the ropes and comes off of them, he goes for the Deep Blue Elbow but WARHORSE rolls out of the way causing The Shark to hit nothing but mat.
The Shark pops up, holding his elbow with his opposite hand as he’s in obvious pain as WARHORSE leaps up and kicks him in the upper body with both feet as The Shark is launched backward into the nearest corner. As The Shark comes staggering out of the corner, WARHORSE sprints past him and runs up the turnbuckle, poising himself on the top before leaping off and connecting with the ASS RULER! He rolls The Shark over quickly and covers, hooking the leg as he does.
ONE!
The Shark doesn’t think so!
The Shark gets the shoulder up much to the chagrin of the crowd as WARHORSE looks beside himself.
Tom Phillips: WHAT? NO ONE KICKS OUT OF THE ASS RULER!
Mauro Ranallo: We’ve seen in the past what a tough customer The Shark can be and kicking out of the Ass Ruler, especially at a count of one, is proof that he’s still one.
Corey Graves: WARHORSE needs to realize he’s not in The Shark’s league and forfeit!
As WARHORSE and The Shark each return to a vertical base, the metalhead still looks dumbfounded as The Shark kicks him in the stomach and pivots and applies the three-quarter facelock as a section of the crowd actually cheers but The Shark simply lets go, then turns and nearly takes off WARHORSE’S head with a Discus Clothesline. The Shark spits on WARHORSE before exiting the ring and walking up to a fan sitting in front as he mimes holding a microphone and asks, “Did you want to see the Chummer just now?” then holds the invisible microphone out to the fan who goes to answer but The Shark pulls his hand away and says, ”IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE CHUMMER!” before re-entering the ring and beginning to put the boots to WARHORSE, two things that garner him a lot of booing from the capacity crowd.
After a few stomps connect, The Shark grabs the top rope and shakes it a la the Ultimate Warrior before turning his attention back to WARHORSE who is back to his feet as he points at The Shark, the look on his face one of anger while The Shark now looks petrified like he realizes what kind of shit he’s just stepped in. WARHORSE turns his hand and mimes turning a knob on an amplifier before charging at The Shark, launching himself like a missile as he knocks The Shark backward into the nearest corner then climbs up to the second rope and starts teeing off on the cocky superstar as the fans count along.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!
WARHORSE now mimes turning the knob again before laying in one more shot.
ELEVEN!
WARHORSE climbs down and backs up as The Shark falls forward, WARHORSE grabbing him and spiking his head into the mat with a quick DDT. WARHORSE kips up now and starts shredding air guitar style as several fans in WARHORSE cosplay are seen head banging and throwing up rock signs as though actual music was playing.
Corey Graves: What are these goobers doing?
Mauro Ranallo: I’m going to go with enjoying themselves at a wrestling show. Just a guess.
Tom Phillips: THAT’S THE EFFECT THE WARHORSE HAS ON THE FANS AND I SAY KEEP ROCKING!!!!
As WARHORSE continues, The Shark is up as he spins WARHORSE around and mimes taking his air guitar from him, breaking it over his knee, and throwing the pieces to the mat. WARHORSE looks incensed as he shoves The Shark in the chest with both hands, knocking The Shark to a seated position as he looks petrified again. WARHORSE takes off towards Shark and goes for a kick but Shark moves and punches WARHORSE directly in the groin. WARHORSE falls to his knees as Shark mockingly plays air guitar for a moment before stopping as he returns the favor from earlier with a DDT that spikes WARHORSE’S head into the mat. As WARHORSE is down, The Shark returns to standing at his head and then hits the ropes, this time connecting with the Deep Blue Elbow as the fans boo just as loudly as they have been. The Shark gestures, “Fuck you!” with his arms as he gets up, then runs into the ropes and when he comes off of them, he connects with another Deep Blue Elbow!
As The Shark gets to his feet again, he reaches down and grabs WARHORSE, bringing him to his feet as he sets him up for the Shark Bite. WARHORSE stomps on his foot though and reverses the situation as he picks The Shark up and plants him with the Shark Bite! WARHORSE isn’t finished though as he sits The Shark up and heads to the nearest turnbuckle and climbs to the top, leaping off and connecting with the ASS RULER, modified a bit because of The Shark sitting instead of standing. WARHORSE again goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Just when it looks like it’s over, The Shark kicks out. WARHORSE returns to a vertical base quickly and heads to the top turnbuckle again, leaping off and connecting with another ASS RULER! Not satisfied, WARHORSE again returns to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, going for a third consecutive ASS RULER but The Shark manages to sidestep and WARHORSE’S legs are driven into the mat as The Shark grabs him and connects with the Shark Bite! The Shark goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE…NO!
WARHORSE manages to get the shoulder up at the last second as The Shark creates some distance between them, completely in disbelief that the match isn’t over. WARHORSE gets to his feet as The Shark charges at him but as he does, he’s met with a kick to the stomach as he hunches over and WARHORSE leaps into the ropes and springs off the top of the second rope, landing on The Shark with another modified ASS RULER! WARHORSE again makes the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, WARHORSE!
Tom Phillips: HELL YEAH BROTHER! WARHORSE HAS RULED THE SHARK’S ASS!
Mauro Ranallo: I think I see a circle pit starting in the crowd.
Corey Graves: This is ridiculous! I want a do-over!
As WARHORSE celebrates his win, Final Battle continues elsewhere.
We go backstage where Bray Wyatt is standing backstage, muttering to himself with his head down. The whisper of his voice doesn't seem to be any actual words, or in any discernible language. Almost like he is suddenly aware he looks up and speaks normally.
Bray Wyatt: Do you see me now? I'm sure you do, I'm sure you all look at me right now and think you can see me. But do you comprehend what it is you see? Does Vinny, fully understand what he is dealing with? He thinks he does, he thinks his return will harken back to his original tenure. Where he reigned over peoples minds, collected pain and lavished in the misery of others. But the circle favored him in that time, the circle only gave him small glimpses of me. I was different yes , but it was me, it was always me. The circle now returns around to when I make my way back to remind everyone how far their own perspectives limits truly are, but do you know what is different this go round? I am well aware of what I am now, not only what I can be but who I truly am. And I am exactly who I've always portrayed myself to be, I am-
The screen sudden brightens up, the background fading away into the funhouse set as Bray Wyatt seamlessly gets a sweater on and a smile across his face as his speaks in an upbeat voice.
Bray Wyatt Hee hee, I am all things Fun and Joyous! HAHAHAH I mean, I'm just a man trying to atone for my past sins. A man not only trying to better myself, but better everyone watching at home. All my little fireflies tune in and it is my duty to teach them right from wrong, show them past the lies the world attempts to throw at them. It is a responsibility I uphold and take great pride in, but a lot of people only see what they want to see. They see: the Great, big smile; the Bright, brilliant colors; the Joyful, loving demeanor. And they judge that, they think it's some kind of joke or sham and they belittle me and my Funhouse. Someone like Vinny, will bring about his horror movie imagery and look upon all that I bring with my funhouse as childish. But it is that childlike wonder that is beyond his simple grasp, that wonder that makes me have more to fight for than he ever could conjure up. When he sees me, he sees a sort of victim but when I see him I see nothing but a Friend Waiting to be Made! And what's more dangerous in the long run? A man who wants to hurt people and eliminate, or a man who wants to bring everyone together? There will always be more of me, all I need to do is light the way and all my little fireflies have to do is Let Me In. But if you think you can intimidate lil ole me with your spooks and scaries, I've got a great protector that is Always watching. Always listening, Always REaDy. He will never rest, and He can end anyone He sees fit as easy...as One...Two...
The screen suddenly glitches away into a red mess of limbs and crawling creatures, flashing with electrical glitches that fade in with The Face of the Fiend causing the feed itself to distort and buzz as a horryfing electrical sounding voice screeches and roars out.
t̸h̸R̷E̶E̵ ̵b̵l̴i̷n̶d̴ ̴m̵i̴c̵E̸,̴ ̷ ̶t̷h̵r̴e̵e̵ ̶b̴l̴i̸N̷d̶ ̵m̷I̸c̸e̴,̶
̴S̶E̸E̴E̶ ̴h̴o̸w̶ ̸t̸h̴e̶y̶ ̴R̵u̴N̵,̴ ̶S̸E̴E̷ ̷h̷o̷w̵ ̴t̵h̷E̴y̸ ̴R̷u̴n̵,̶
̶T̷h̷e̴y̸ ̶a̷l̵l̴ ̶R̸a̴n̸ ̸a̵f̵t̷e̴r̴ ̸t̶h̵e̷ ̴f̸a̷r̸m̷e̷r̵’̶s̵ ̷w̸i̸f̴e̸,̶
̸W̶h̷o̵ ̸c̵u̸t̶ ̵o̸f̵f̸ ̵t̸h̷e̶i̷r̷ ̴t̷a̷i̴l̶s̵ ̴w̵i̸t̷h̶ ̸a̸ ̸c̵a̸r̵v̶i̴n̷g̶ ̴k̵n̸i̶f̴e̷,̷
̷D̴i̶d̶ ̸y̸o̶u̴ ̷e̸v̶e̴r̶ ̸s̵e̶e̸ ̴s̵u̴c̸h̶ ̷a̵ ̶t̶h̶i̵n̴g̷ ̴i̶n̶ ̷y̶o̸u̶r̴ ̵l̸i̷f̸e̶,̵
̵A̶s̵ ̴t̸h̷r̷e̴e̶ ̶b̷l̶i̸n̴d̴
The glitches are finally too much and it burst to black and then fades into the woods as Bray Wyatt walks into screen with a little rat in his hand before dropping to the floor and watching it run away before laughing.
Rats, they are vermin to the world. If you see one it jolts you instinctually, it startles a normal man just seeing one of these pesky lil ones walk across their feet. Even an mighty elephant, as mighty as they may be are frightened and wary of the lil Rat. Ain't it funny man? a thing people may keep as a pet, can be someones most primal fear? Can be the Phobia that inhabits their minds and will turn them into a frightened child at the sight of one. And it may seem funny to some, may seem a bit silly to fear such a small creature. But a Rat can rip and tear at a human, its rats that spread the plague...the black death killing so so many people thanks to this lil guy. It's never what you expect, the face of your demise...the Face of Fear...Vinny when you looked over my way did you think it was this face that was going to be the one to haunt you? A man who's obsessed with terror and the horrific, with my face as his new face of fear. Ain't it funny? Ain't it funny how a lil ole seemingly non threatening thing to you, can send into your brain like a lightening strike the urge and instinctual need to do one thing and one thing only...
Bray Wyatt is back backstage staring into the camera with watery eyes as if everything that just happened took a toll on him, as as he speaks with a sincere and almost cold voice.
Run...I mean it Vinny, Run as Fast as you can. Because when you open your eyes upon me, you will learn that everything I've ever been has already surpassed you, and I am all of that plus more. When your brain attempts to process what it is you are witnessing, it will mold the rest of your life into knowing that you were found wanting at the face of a man you should not have attempted to play with. Tonight I change you, I change you like I've changed countless others, the only thing I'm looking forward to is seeing what kinda person you'll be once it's over. Because I know it's going to eat away at you, and what a lovely meal ones own mind can truly be...Bon Appetit Vinny, forget about the horror king you were and look upon Bray Wyatt and REVEL in what you Are.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…..
The crowd are quiet, waiting for something to happen but the silence doesn't last long as fireworks shoot from the ceiling down onto the stage as a familiar theme song plays out of the PA System.
LET ME SEE YOU PUT EM UP,
REACH THE SKY, TOUCH THE STARS UP ABOVE
CAUSE IT'S ONE TIME FOR THE UNDERDOG
The crowd rise to their feet as they await for the appearance of the Runt of the Family. The crowd raise the noise levels as Spike Dudley and Stacy Keibler emerge from the curtain. Stacy is looking fine with some glasses on as Spike is looking all business.
The couple look out into the crowd as they shower them with cheers. Spike grabs Stacy's hand and they both begin the walk down the ramp. The fans are begging for high fives and both oblige, touching the free hands with all the fans at ringside as they come to end of the ramp. Spike follows Stacy around, helping her climb the stairs. She reaches the top as Spike slides into the ring, walking over to the turnbuckle, climbing it and beating his chest whilst he looks into the crowd, meanwhile at the same time, Stacy is making her trademark entrance into the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Dudleyville, being accompanied to the ring by the Duchess of Dudleyville, Stacy Keibler, weighing in at 145 pounds, SPIKE DUDLEY
Spike steps down from the turnbuckle and comes back to the center of the ring, meeting Stacy in the ring and giving her a kiss. He shows her the way to the ropes as she climbs out of the ring, the same way she climbed in as Spike turns and is ready for his match.
Tony Chimel: And his opponent…..
As the Godzilla trumpets play, the Samoan Submission machine makes his entrance flanked by Nash and Angle, towel around his neck he strides confidently down to the ring as the crowd erupts into a chorus of boos at the mere presence of the trio
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring being accompanied by Kevin Nash and Kurt Angle, weighing in at 260lbs, from Orange County, The Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe
As Joe makes it to the ring, he rolls in and stands up, in one fluid motion he throws the towel to the outside, with Nash catching it, as he lifts his signature finger taunt, making his way to the corner he leans back and cracks his neck, waiting for his next victim.
The bell would ring and Joe would be consulting with Nash as Kurt paced back and forth. This consultation would prove costly for Joe as Spike used it as an opportunity to charge the big Samoan in the corner and hit him with a forearm smash. Joe tries to powder off but Spike keeps up the offense, not letting his bigger opponent get away with what he’s done the past few weeks. Spike switches from forearms to punches but this was a mistake as Joe’s strike game as matched by few and the Samoan lays in some stiff strikes of his own, throwing Spike off the ropes, Joe would try to reverse it into a Snap Powerslam but Spike has this scouted and manages to reverse into a Frankensteiner on Joe, going for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: This match is off to an electric start folks, two competitors who have faced each other before both wanting something out of this encounter. Spike wants to get revenge for his older brother Bubba and Joe wants to prove that Spikes win at Backlash was nothing but a fluke.
Tom Phillips:Spike delivering most of the offense so far here tonight, even having Joe on the backpedal a few times.
Corey Graves: Still early in the match yet Tom and you never know what a guy like Samoa Joe has going on in that mercurial brain of his.
1….2…Kick Out.
Joe gets a shoulder up and Spike once again immediately goes on the offense, delivering pointed elbows to the shoulder of Joe. In a situation of role reversal from Backlash, Spike is the aggressor and Joe is in the defensive position. Joe reaches out to one of the ring ropes, trying to grab them to break this up but Spike pulls back on the arm. Joe manages to leverage Spike over with a Judo Toss sort of maneuver from the seated position. Spike quickly gets to his feet but the always surprisingly agile Joe is quick after him, Spike is grabbed by the waist and hoisted up and over with a German Suplex. Joe points to Angle on the outside who slams the mat in victory. Joe then picks Spike up and delivers a Sidewalk Slam, covering Spike casually.
Mauro Ranallo: Oh Samoa Joe here with the disrespectful pin on Spike Dudley. You wouldn’t have thought just moments ago, Joe was on the back pedal from Spike
Tom Phillips: Even though Joe claims none of this is personal and is just business, his actions beg to differ and this sheer lack of respect to Spike with this cover just proves that.
Corey Graves: Oh great Phillips is breaking out the tinfoil again. Tell me, both of you, what has Spike done to actually deserve the respect of Samoa Joe huh, oh he got a fluke win at Backlash so what.
1,,,2,,,Kick Out
Joe feels Spike kick out and isn’t happy, picking Spike up, Joe would immediately start delivering stiff strikes to Spike, peppering him with quick strikes and kicks. Joe goes for maybe one too many and Spike manages to get out of the way of the strike and deliver a stiff kick of his own to the back of Joe's leg, causing the Samoan Destroyer some obvious discomfort to his leg. Spike keeps loading off with these kicks as Joe turns and swings, Spike ducks and turns on a dime, hitting a Battering Ram right in the center of Joe’s torso, actually knocking the big man down into a seated position, Spike would then run off the ropes and hit a Dropkick to a seated Joe, going for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: Spike Dudley with that beautiful dropkick to Samoa Joe, Joe seems to be sucking air after that Battering Ram to his torso
Tom Phillips: Spike may be small but he’s got a big head guys and he certainly used that to effect with Joe.
Corey Graves: The size of Spikes cranium you would expect a big brain in there but clearly its the opposite as he plays into Joe’s plans here, its clear Joe is mapping out his opponent and is waiting for his opportunity to strike.
1…2….Rope Break.
Joe grabs the ropes, slyly pushed in by Kevin Nash who waves it off as just were he was leaning when the referee questions him on it. The referee gives him a warning but as usual Nash just shrugs it off and Angle gives a death stare to the referee. Spike, having seen what happened walks over tp the ropes and holds them open, beckoning for the pair to get in. Nash holds up his hands and Kurt backs off. Spike turns round and is grabbed by Joe who tries to whip Spike into the corner but Spike reverses it, throwing Joe in but as Spike charges with a forearm, Joe picks him up and slams him to the ground with an STJOE, the impact folding Spike up in half. Joe would walk away from Spike and dust off his shoulders, looking over at Kiebler he would wink at her before going for a cover, grabbing a leg this time.
Mauro Ranallo: Samoa Joe certainly feeling himself now, a quick wink to the Duchess of Dudleyville after planting Spike with that devastating STJOE.
Tom Phillips: He seems to have learned from his mistake from earlier and has actually hooked Spikes leg for this pin, maybe he’s beginning to actually recognize Spike for the threat he is.
Corey Graves: OR the more likely thing is what i’ve been saying this whole match, this has been Joe’s plan the whole time. Get Spike confident and then wear it down.
1…2….2.5….Kick out.
Just before the referee can hit the mat for three, Spike gets the shoulder up and Joe looks at the referee as if to say “Seriously Dude”, sighing Joe would get Spike back up and drag him over to the corner and put him top rope, the audience knows what he’s going for but before he can set up for a Muscle Buster, Stacey jumps onto the apron and Joe looks confused, this moment of confusion is enough for Spike to jump off the rope and hit Joe with a Tornado DDT, Joe lands on his head and flops over onto his back, the audience cheering the maneuver of Spike. Spike, as quick as he can after this damage, climbs top rope and jumps off, hitting Joe with the Dudley Stomp, Joe visibly blowing air out after this. Spike goes for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: DUDLEY STOMP FROM SPIKE, AFTER A HELLACIOUS TORNADO DDT, THIS COULD SEAL THE DEAL FOR SPIKE.
Tom Phillips: If Spike were to pin Joe here, then that would prove that his win at Backlash was not a fluke.
Corey Graves: Even if he wins here, that does not prove the first win wasn’t a fluke. Just shows Spike is a fluke artist.
1…2…2.5….2.9….Broken up
Nash drags Joe out the ring and the referee has had enough of this he rolls his arms and tells Nash he’s out of here. While focused on Nash, Angle sneaks into the ring and goes for Spike but Spike throws Kurt out of the ring and onto Nash. The referee also throws Angle out. Angle and Nash contest this as Spike and Stacey wave them away. The crowd chanting nah nah nah to them. Joe is standing on the outside, arguing with the referee who is leaning out of the ropes. Spike turns round to run off the ropes with a dive but as he does, he is whacked with a Steel Chair by a masked figure who ducks under the ring.
Mauro Ranallo: THE REFEREE HAS KICKED OUT NASH AND ANGLE BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER. THAT MASKED FIGURE JUST HIT SPIKE WITH A STEEL CHAIR
Tom Phillips: We all assumed Nash was who attacked Spike a few weeks ago in the mask but if its not him then who is it.
Corey Graves: I have no idea but this is genius by Joe. He is always 10 steps ahead of everyone and he had a back up plan just incase.
Joe would slide back in the ring as the referee checks on Spike, asking him if he’s ok to continue. Spike nods, barely getting to his feet, the chair shot scrambling his brains. Joe immediately starts on the offense, hitting Spike with those strikes and then picking him up and flattening him with a Uranage. Joe then picks Spike up and once again sets up for the Muscle Buster but Spike, perhaps off instinct manages to slip off his shoulders and grab Joe, going for the Acid Drop, Joe throws Spike into the turnbuckle and Spike rebounds into the waiting arms of Joe who wraps his large arms round the neck of Spike and locks in the Coquina, dropping to the ground and locking it in tight. It isn’t long after that Spike is out and the referee calls for the bell.
Tony Chimel: YOUR WINNER OF THIS CONTEST BY SUBMISSION….. SAMOA JOE.
Mauro Ranallo: Samoa Joe has done what he said he would do, proving himself the dominant athlete
Tom Phillips: Well he couldn’t of done it without the help of whoever it is in that mask.
Corey Graves: Joe was fine there, as I said he was merely testing the waters and it paid off.
Back in the ring, Joe would beckon for the masked figure to join him in the ring and the mask figure would oblige, grabbing a mic as he does. Getting into the ring, the figure would allow Joe to take off the mask and the crowd would be shocked by who’s under it.
Ciampa: Miss me?
As the crowd rains down boos on the duo, Final Battle would move on.
The titantron fires to life, switching up from the Final Battle graphic to a monochromatic highlight real - glimpses of the Diabetic Dragon's greatest hits interspersed with training footage, scored by a low, seismic hum and the appreciative roar of the capacity crowd.
Kyle O'Reilly's voice comes in to narrate.
KO'R: A lot of people still don't get. A lot of people still don't take me seriously.
The footage focuses on Kyle's more recent feuds - the ones he's had since coming back last fall. Cody Rhodes offering to school him, Batista's brutal condescension, LA Knight's perverse prodding, his KOTR opponents' doubtful, insulting attitudes. Each shot captured of their scoffs and attacks on him is paired with one of ruthless retribution on his part.
KO'R: But what's more serious than an American hospital bill? What's more serious than dropping someone on top of their head? What's more serious that pulling a grown-A man's arm so hard that he has to beg you to stop?
Every submission scored with the Vanilla Bar - the look of agony on the faces of the victims. Pins scored with the Blue-Eyes Diabetic Dragon or Point Break, percussive drum blasts punctuating every one.
KO'R: I'm not a joke. All these guys think I'm a punchline until the week comes around when they find out they're booked in a fight with me. Then it sinks in. Then they get it. Then they figure out that they're effed because I'm the only single person in this entire company you can guarantee isn't gonna take a week off and phone it in, and I'm the only single person who keeps getting a little bit better every time.
Progress from the days of cornering Sweeney to the tag team era to what he is today - that improvement clear as day with the passage of time.
KO'R: So whatever. Who cares what they think? They only laugh until they get hit. Even the ones that think they know - like Edge - he thinks he knows. Nah. Nah tonight, he's gonna see how it really is. No more big-brother, you'll-make-it-someday-kid talk. This is my tournament. Maybe hisis Final Battle, but not even close to mine.
I look around and I see a wide open road to where I wanna go, and anybody who doesn't see me coming down it like a runaway friggin semi truck is about to get mowed like a lawn.
The punches and slams and kicks and subs come in rapid fire on the screen until finally breaking against a pan-out shot of Kyle alone in the ring. The scene slowly fades out to another round of thrilled applause from the crowd before Final Battle continues elsewhere.
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
”GET ON YOUR KNEES
AND BOW DOWWNNN!!!”
The raucous crowd erupt into cheers at the sound of those words as, “Bow Down” by IPrevail plays throughout the arena. It isn’t long before the, “Horror King” himself makes his presence felt as he appears from behind the curtain with axe in hand and starts making his way down the ramp.
Chimel: Introducing first, from Warwick, Rhode Island. Weighing in at one hundred and eighty-nine pounds. He is the, “Horror King”, Vinny Marseglia!
Marseglia circles the ring at the pace of Michael Myers, coming around to the Timekeeper's area before raising his axe high in the sky and burying it deep in the barricade there, sending all the UWF personnel around scurrying for safety. He pays them no mind and turns to climb the steel steps.
As Vinny enters the ring, he ascends the nearest turnbuckle and raises both arms in the air. After being greeted with more cheers, he steps down and points his signature axe at the stage as he gets ready for the match ahead.
The lights in the building cut out and the eerie, single key stroke of a piano drifts through the air.
The titantron fires to life with glimpses of the many faces of the Eater of Worlds - reminding the UWF Universe of every traumatic nightmare they've been exposed to over the years. It takes a moment, but eventually, a haunting blue light is carried out on to the stage. Its faint - emanating from the source like a hushed, dying breath just enough to illuminate the face of Bray Wyatt.
Chimel: And his opponent, from Lafayette, Louisiana, weighing in at 285 pounds... he is the "Eater of Worlds", Bray Wyatt!
All eyes are on Bray while his remain fixed on the man waiting in the ring. Wyatt doesn't rush to meet him there, though. He lets puffs of winter smoke carried on cemetery winds roll out like a red carpet ahead of his return to premium wrestling competition. His trudge up the steps is measured. His pause before coming through the ropes is loaded. Everything about him seems intentional as it does unhinged - some impossible reconciliation of balance and the complete absence thereof.
With one puff, Wyatt extinguishes the lantern. As though he were the master of some unknowable magic, the house lights flare on at that exact moment. The Referee takes the lantern from Bray to hand it off through the ropes while the competitors come to the middle to get face-to-face. Fearing that things are about to get out of hand, the Referee forgoes some of the typical pre-match formalities to hastily call for the opening bell.
DING DING
The Horror King and the Eater of Worlds stand nose-to-nose in the center of the ring, squaring off against each other for the very first time. Marseglia is giving some size to Wyatt, but the stature of their respective reputations are just about dead even.
For all the mind games played in the month leading up to this confrontation - and for all the sadistic pleasure these two take in inflicting violence - those twisted grins that so often mark their faces aren't anywhere to be found. The stare down is as stoic and as somber as a funeral. Its cold. Bitter. Seething. Nevertheless, the audience couldn't be more excited to witness the clash of the titans. There hasn't been a single blow thrown or landed yet and they're already chanting "THIS IS AWEOMSE", giving this dreams match its flowers right off the jump.
Ranallo: There are those who said this day would never come. What are they to say now?
Phillips: Social media has been buzzing all month, with some describing this match as the "People's Main Event" on an already stacked card.
Ranallo: And rightly so, Tom. Vinny Marseglia and Bray Wyatt are two of these most dominant superstars in UWF history, oft compared and contrasted for their penchant for occult theatrics but never before pitted against one another. Pundits have long speculated which of these devils is the deadlier, and now, in the vein of Freddy versus Jason and AVP before it, we have the privilege to find out.
Graves: There's always so much talk about "Mount Rushmore" and what four faces would be carved there. Pound for pound and stat for stat, these two have to be shoe-in's for the best Revolution has ever seen. Marseglia ended the dominant reign of Larry Sweeney to win the UWF Championship, which, by the way, happened after he won the Royal Rumble and carved his way through the nWo. His GOAT'd TV title run and legendary blood feud with Shibata are icing on the cake -
Ranallo: Meanwhile Wyatt stands apart from the pack as the man with the longest world title reign the green brand has ever seen with wins over legends like Styles and Rollins and Orton. You mentioned Shibata - while Bray Wyatt ended The Wrestler's career. And what's most impressive about that is is that it all happened years after Wyatt's supposed prime. Roll back the clock to the early days of the company - from Y.E.S. to his Age of Apocalypse match with Raven to leading his family to a reign of terror - Bray Wyatt has been dominating and haunting the UWF since day one.
Phillips: It's interesting that Vinny's return is what brought him back into the mix. In the weeks building up to this match, there hasn't been much talk of future title shots or glory so much as each man trying to impose their darkened world views onto the other - like competing shadows. Something's gotta give!
While it was Wyatt's spoiling of Vinny's grand return that set of this feud, its the Horror King who finally throws the first shot. He winds up and smashes his opponent across the jaw with a nasty elbow strike, connecting with such ferocity and velocity that the bigger man steps back a pace to brace himself from falling over.
The side of Bray's face flushes a dark shade of red where bone hit cheek. Vinny doesn't follow up, affording his rival time enough to regain his composure before daring him to show what he's got in response to that. Slowly, Wyatt comes back around, brushing his bruised jaw with one land and licking a trickle of blood off his lips. Marseglia eggs him on, challenging Bray to take a swing.
A "YES" chant from the crowd indicating they also want to see some shot-for-shot is superfluous. Of course Wyatt retaliates in kind, pulling back like a major league pitcher and then uncorking a haymaker on the Horror King. His fist damn near caves in the Rumble Winner's mug and sends him stumbling backwards into the ropes with an indigo circle already swelling up under his left eye.
"OOOOOH" says the crowd. Vinny's spine hits the cables and that bounces him right back. He marches straight towards Brayy and defiantly goes nose-to-nose again, with the foes grinding their foreheads together like competing mountain goats. Their glare is worth a thousand words of trash talk in that tense moment - one that is eventually broken when Wyatt pulls back then shoots in with a head butt.
The cracking of skulls has a negative affect on both men, but its Vinny who takes the brunt of it. He staggers around on punch drunk scarecrow legs, giving the Eater of Worlds an opening to go on the attack. Grabbing the Horror King by his crown of dreadlocks, Bray yanks back to slam him down into the canvas. The Official gets all up in his grill about fighting dirty, though Wyatt brushes him off with a condescending scoff.
Ranallo: Bray Wyatt's is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. We've seen so many facets and interpretations of this man over the years, each hyper-focused in their own way. Dare I say we've never experience one so calculated as this?
Graves: I'm not sure what the right word for it is, Mauro. Reserved, maybe? He's not dressed up in some costume. He doesn't have a Cult or puppets with him tonight - its just Bray Wyatt, the man. You'd think that would be less terrifying but looking at him now, you realize that behind all of those insane, eccentric characters there's a cold-blooded killer - one less easily defined and all the more dangerous for it.
Vinny rolls over and gets on to his hands and knees. Wyatt approaches him with a casual gait and then pushes his head back down with a non-chalant boot. Marseglia rolls over towards the ropes and without warning, Bray goes from zero to sixty, speeding off in the other direction to hit the far ropes, rebound back and plastering the recovering Horror King with a hip attack to send him tumbling out of the ring and down to the floor.
Marseglia is splayed out on the ground near the apron. Rather than following up, Bray leaves the Referee to check on him and start his ten count while he takes control of the center of the ring. Surveying the arena, he sees thousands of cellphones screens light up around the building, swaying back and forth. Fireflies. Something in his eye twitches. A recognition. A familiarity. Bray looks down at his hands as they form a clawed grip, like he's got the whole world in them. His eyes narrow as he turns his hands over, examining his knuckles, perhaps imagining or remembering the antithetical words once inscribed across each.
Out of his peripherals, he sees Vinny using the apron to help himself up. Bray's hands then clench into fists as he heads over to get back to work, just as the Referee is hitting a five count.
Phillips: Bray looking good early on. He picked up an impressive win over Orange Cassidy on Revolution, answering any questions there might have been about ring rust.
Ranallo: Similarly, Vinny has been firing on all cylinders since his return. Shenanigans courtesy of his opponent may have cost him once, but a hard fought victory over the indomitable Samoan Submission Machine - a man who gave the Horror King trouble years ago on Resistance - suggests that this Marseglia is as dangerous as we've ever seen.
To Mauro's point, when Bray gets close enough, Vinny's hands shoot out like a monster from under the bed. Seizing Wyatt's ankles, he yanks him out under the bottom rope and drags him to the floor. A stiff, Kane-esque uppercut rattles the Easter of the Worlds. With his balance off and his head spinning, Marseglia capitalizes on his compromised foe by snagging a wrist and launching him face-first into on of the turnbuckles! Wyatt's head smashes against the steel with a stomach-churning thud as the increasingly impatient Referee restarts his ten count...
1...
2...
Wyatt backs off, eyes glazed, blood dripping out double-barrel from both nostrils. Vinny offers no quarter and tackles him from behind with something of a reverse spear. He collides with Wyatt like a freight train hitting a truck stuck on the tracks, ploughing him ahead into the ringside steps.
3...
The stairs are dislodged on impact and Wyatt spills out with the wreckage. Vinny only just stops himself from tumbling over with him by bracing one leg against the bottom section of steps. Realizing he's got some of his rival's blood on his hands, Marseglia finally smiles as he wipes it off under his eyes like war point, garnering a pop from the sickos in the crowd.
4...
Vinny pays no mind to the Official and his count as he climbs over the rubble to collect Bray. Pulling him up off the floor, the maniacal Marseglia gives the Eater of Worlds a mouthful when he leans him up against the barricade by prying his jaw open and hinging it on the edge of the half-wall. Bray is too out of it to resist or move while Vinny backs up and lines him up form some inda pump kick curb stomp.
5...
Marseglia takes a quick two steps then goes for the kill, shooting his foot up to blast the back of Bray's head and knock it into the barricade. Wyatt moves out of the way just in time to avoid execution then swings around to clobber the former TV Champ with a rolling elbow.
6...
Vinny's halfway fallen over already when Wyatt catches him. The fans jump out of their seats as Bray arches his foe to get him in position for a Sister Abigail on the arena floor. That signature maneuver is stymied, however, when Marseglia slips out mid-rotation.
7...
Wyatt attempts to regain control with a collar-and-elbow but Marseglia ain't trying to grapple with him out there on the floor. He counters by using Bray's forward-pushing weight again him, stepping aside and then pushing ahead to shove the longest reigning world champ in Revolution history towards the squared circle. To avoid slamming in to apron, Wyatt springs up and rolls under the ropes instead.
Phillips: Phew. I'm glad they're getting back into the ring. That was getting too close for comfort.
Ranallo: All due respect to the UWF superstars - any athlete who steps into that ring to compete has guts and grit beyond understanding. But out of all the athletes we've ever signed, these two are at the top of the list of guys I'd never want to spend any time alone in a room with.
Graves: That's funny - just the other day I had the same thought about you guys.
Wyatt has the advantage of a split second to get to his feet first while Marseglia climbs up to join him inside the ring. Vinny rushes him - Bray is ready and waiting to decapitate him with a lariat. Clocking the attack from a mile away, the Horror King ducks under the clothesline and runs straight through to ricochet off the far set of ropes.
Wheeling around to catch him on the return, Wyatt is caught off guard by the speed of Marseglia coming in on the way back. Vinny's already jumping right at him. He catches the tatted' up neck him grip and falls back to flatten the Eater of Worlds with a Jump Scare! Bray's heads smashes into the canvas and Vinny rolls him over to shoot the half...
1...
2...
Bray pushes him off at two. Vinny sits up, shooting the Referee a weary side eye but he doesn't dwell on it for long.
Ranallo: As unpredictable and formidable an opponent Bray Wyatt is, Vinny Marseglia's offensive arsenal is unmatched versatility. There isn't a grappling position or place in that ring he can't use to pop off a game-changing maneuver out of the blue. How apropo that a move like that for a man like him be called the Jump Scare, because truly, when you're facing Marseglia, its like fending off a classic horror film villain.
Graves: It's gonna take everything he's got and then some to keep Bray Wyatt down for the count, though. The guy is inhumanly durable.
With a fistful of hair, Vinny pulls Wyatt's head off the canvas and growls something at him. A threat? A warning to stay down? Something about how this town ain't big enough for the both of them? Whatever it is, the energy radiating off of the Horror King as he gets back to business is an agitated one. Teases of his grand return tormented the UWF Universe for months, and when the night finally came, Bray Wyatt was right there to steal the spotlight. Since then, whatever message Marseglia was trying to deliver or whatever point he was trying to prove has been overshadowed by the phantom menace of Bray Wyatt. Now, finally, Vinny has the means to exact some revenge.
Dragging his opponent over towards the corner, Marseglia slams him face-first into the top turnbuckle pad. This violation of the rules has the Referee rushing over to intervene. Vinny keeps at it with the Head Trauma regardless, moving down a rung to rattle Bray's skull against the middle buckle. The Official starts up a five count just as he drops to the final level, landing two slams for every slow, single count made by the third man, pulling up just in time to avoid disqualification.
Phillips: Once again, Vinny Marseglia walking that thin line and risking a disqualification spoiling his return to pay-per-view.
Ranallo: Historically, we've seen both of these men be fine with giving up an L is it meant getting some greater, more violent or heinous point across. I wonder if the chance to earn a definitive win over their counterpart here tonight will take precedent and keep them in check.
Graves: Well Marseglia literally murdered Larry Sweeney in a Last Heart Beating match and Wyatt left Shibata buried in the Parisian catacombs in a Grave Consequences match so you just never now what's out of the question with these two.
Vinny backs away from a flattened Bray, pacing out towards the middle of the ring as the Official gives him an earful. Marseglia isn't paying attention, though, and as it turns out, he wasn't so much interested in a clean break as he was getting some distance to build up speed so he could rush in and beam Wyatt with a Pump Kick to the head just when he's starting to get back up again. The Horror King's boot washes against that bearded mug, crushing it against the metal link holding the intersecting ropes.
Without missing a beat, Vinny pulls Bray up with a headlock, hoists him with in vertical suplex position, then transitions into an inverted DDT, once more crashing Wyatt's head into the canvas.
Phillips: Marseglia with The Shining!
Ranallo: Will that be enough to keep Wyatt down?
Vinny pulls Bray's arm in so he can't reach out for a rope break and uses his other hand to hook a leg as he tries for the pin...
1...
2...
Bray gets a shoulder up before the third count. The crowd gasps at the near fall.
Vinny sits up, then gets to a knee, taking a second to catch a breath as he - at least for a moment - appears to be an actual human being. He cranks his neck from side to side, working out a kink, perhaps showing a hint of aging, a slight tell of years of wear-and-tear from grueling matches against the best in the world. Would there have been a time when that combination of moves hit harder - hard enough to keep an opponent down? Does he even have what it takes to put away a man like Bray Wyatt.
An atomically faint trace of what might just be doubt simmers at the edges of the Horror King's eyes, but then evaporates under the hard heat of conviction. The sheer, regal audacity of the Horror King kicks in like a second wind when he catches his breath. This is his night. His summer. His grand return. His UWF.
Marseglia stands up, his opponent's blood trickling off his knuckles, grizzly puddles splashing on the canvas by his battle-worn ring boots. He leans his head back, eyes shut, cementing the resolve within himself to finish this fight before turning around to do so...
Graves:[/b[ Oh my God...
Ranallo: Unbelievable!
There's Bray Wyatt. Upside down. Contorted. Crouched in his spider-like Exorcist pose, staring right back at Vinny. There's no scaring the Horror King, but truly, Vinny has never seen anything like that before. The impossibility of Wyatt's resilience has him stopped in his tracks. The Eater of the Worlds whips around to get back on all fours and he uses that base to pounce at his opponent. Knocking Marseglia back a step with a shoulder block, Bray then follows up with a flurry of punches. He lands several before Vinny is able to retaliate, and from there, things degenerate into an all out brawl.
The slugfest goes from shot-for-shot to dirty boxing as they clutch the back of each other's heads to hold the target steady while feeding in right hooks. Fans leave their seats and scream their faces off, cheering for their preferred monster or just the onslaught itself. Wyatt's busted nose and lips opening wide again, splattering blood off to the sides like a sprinkler while Marseglia's left eye swells shut and puffs out more and more with every hit landed.
Phillips: For two of the most accomplished wrestlers we've ever had on Revolution, there sure isn't much wrestling going on.
Graves: If you thought we were going to see a mat classic in the vein of Angle / Ziggler or Jericho / Cesaro, you were only fooling yourself.
The clinch breaks loose and Marseglia mixes things up by painting his foe's chest with an Axe-Edge Chop. Wyatt winces and decides he's done with this back and forth. When Vinny attempts to follows up with seconds, Bray grabs him across the chest and sends him to the Land of Wind and Ghosts with a Herculean Uranage, rattling the whole entire ring by planting Marseglia into the canvas with the cruelest of intentions.
Wyatt sprawls on top of Marseglia, the blood from his face dripping down on to Vinny's as he makes the cover...
1...
2...
Marseglia kicks out just in time!
Bray shakes his head - maybe out of defiance, maybe to clear the blood out. Either way, he doubles down with every intention of putting this feud to rest and finally staking his claim as the better man - in a manner of speaking, anyway.
Just like Vinny bashed his head on the buckles before, Bray slams his opponent's head into the mat ad nauseum, doing even more damage to the shuddered eye socket and smashing apart that haunted house of a brain like a wrecking ball. Technically, its all legal, but the Referee recoils at the sight of the brutality of the assault, wishing he had cause to intervene. He's starting to wonder if he shouldn't just call this match off when Wyatt gets up and pulls Marseglia with him, draping the Horror King over to set up for the Sister Abigail.
Graves: Its all over but the crying now.
Ranallo: Wyatt spoke of the circular nature of time leading up to this match. Now, using the same maneuver he used to capture world titles and end careers in years past, he'll put the nail in Vinny Marseglia's proverbial coffin.
Wyatt whispers something to the hard cam. Was it "Alexa"? Hard to say. The roar of the crowd is too loud now to pick up the sound. Bray then plants that sinister kiss on Marseglia's forehead. Vinny clenches a fist, showing signs of life as he writhes and attempts to wiggle free, but its too little too late. Bray whips around and annihilates the Horror King with a merciless Sister Abigail!
The Referee slides in to make the count as Bray covers, two hands pushed down on the shoulders, blood once again dripping off his face as he glares down at his fallen opponent...
1...
2...
And then he pulls up, stopping the pin himself to the shock of the crowd.
Phillips: What the - what's Bray doing?
Graves: He doesn't just want to beat Vinny Marseglia, he wants to finish him for good.
No, that's not it. Bray shakes his head while the Referee asks him what's going on. Despite the raucous confusion of the capacity crowd with all their cheering and screaming and bleating, the camera is able to pick up Bray's words this time. Not at first, but once he starts yelling the phrase, its clear as day.
LOOK... AT... ME...
LOOK... AT... ME...
LOOK... AT... ME!
Each statement is punctuated with a slap as he endeavours to rouse his foe from his unconscious stupor. Vinny's good eye blinks awake in a groggy haze, but that's not enough for Wyatt. The sadist uses thumb and index finer to pry open Marseglia's swollen eye so that the Horror King can see and behold the entirety of the harbinger of his doom.
Once that eye contact is established, Bray shoves his hand into Vinny's gaping mouth, applying the Mandible Claw to suffocate the life out of him. Another gasp from the crowd. Parents shield their childrens' eyes at the horrific sight of it. Vinny's legs kick out frantically while Wyatt maintains steady, clinical pressure. As Marseglia's face goes from red to purple to blue, there's only one recourse left to take before passing out.
He bites down, and brother, he bites down hard. Teeth chomp into fingers like carrots, threatening to slice through the bones. Wyatt cries out in pain - a rare thing indeed. He yanks his hand away but at the cost of layers of skin left behind in Marseglia's demented grin.
Ranallo: MAMA MIA!
Phillips: I think I'm gonna be sick...
Graves: Well get away from me if you are!
Wyatt stumbles back, face now pale behind the trails of blood adorning it as he surveys his mangled hand. Vinny rises to his feet, spits out a mouthful of body and blood and raises his hands at his sides. This is the Return of the King.
Bray looks up at the freakshow in front of him just in time to take another Pump Kick to the face. He goes down hard, but Marsglia doesn't try for a pin. Instead, he backs away until Wyatt rolls over and starts to get up, at which point he dashes in and curb stomps his foe with the Bow Down!
Still, though, he doesn't try for the three count. Rather, he pulls Wyatt up in a Dragon Sleeper position, inverted headlock with arm trap securing the Eater of Worlds in his grasp so he can mutilate him with the Farewell to the Flesh - the third and most brutal of his specialized DDT's hit tonight! After all, every good horror movie needs its sequels.
Ranallo: Marseglia hits the Farewell to the Flesh!
Phillips: Not even Bray Wyatt could survive the beatdown Vinny just dished out! The Horror King is back and he's as ruthless as ever!
Vinny rolls Bray over and hooks the legs to settle this score...
1...
2...
But he pulls up at two, just like Bray did.
The crowd melts like ice cream in the summer heat. They can't handle the tease and denial. The drama is too much.
Ranallo: Fellas, forgive me if this is too crass, but I dare say we might have just entered "pissing contest" territory.
Graves: The ol' "anything you can do, I can do better".
Phillips: Neither Wyatt nor Marseglia wants to leave any questions or doubts. They refuse to walk away with a "yeah but..." lingering in the air. This has been escalation and one-upsmanship since the opening bell.
Peeling Bray off of the canvas, Vinny drags his more-or-less lifeless body over towards the ropes, draping him over the middle on as though he were setting him up for a 619. The crowd is still buzzing, although those rowdy cheers have mellowed in curious murmurings as they wonder where this will go next. Marseglia leaves Wyatt there, steps out to the apron, drops to the floor and circles the ring to collect his signature axe from where he buried it by the timekeeper's area. Brandishing his weapon high in the sky, he draws a mortified gasp from the audience.
Ranallo: Just as you said, Tom... escalation.
Phillips: Is he trying to get disqualified?
Graves: Oh I think he's going to take it a bit further than that...
Ranallo: That axe's previous victims include the likes of Larry Sweeney and Jimmy Jacobs, although his encounters with those men were both notably no-DQ bouts.
Vinny climbs up on to the apron with his weapon. The Official is screaming at him to drop it or he'll throw the match out. Marseglia ignores the third man until he goes a bridge to far, placing his hands on the Horror King as he approaches Bray Wyatt's unconscious body. With a snarl and a sneer, Vinny grabs the Referee by the throat and shoves him back towards the middle of the ring so that he rolls backwards over himself. A typical Ref Bump sees them out of commission instantly - glass jaws and all that. This one, however, gets right back up, and while his face is is pale with fear, the terror doesn't stop him from waving this dream match off to thunderous boos from the UWF Universe.
DING DING
YOUR WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION...
BRAY WYATT!
The vitriol from the crowd is deafening. They can't believe this dream match is ending like that. After everything these two monsters have done to each other, to have it all end on a technicality with no definitive winner sours the mood entirely.
At least until it becomes obvious that Marseglia isn't done yet.
Ranallo: Wyatt picks up an unsatisfying victory, but Marseglia still has unfinished business.
Graves: There was no way both men were ever going to walk away from this ring tonight. That's the thing about killers - they always leave a body behind.
Wyatt hasn't moved a muscle since Vinny left him draped on the ropes. The Referee isn't about to get in the way again. He runs for the hills as Marseglia - standing on the apron - raises his axe like an executioner to deliver the fatal blow to Bray Wyatt, thus declaring himself the one true Horror King of the UWF.
The arena goes stunned silent as the axe falls.
The arena lights. A thousand cellphones illuminate the black in an instant, but its not enough to see what's happening in the ring.
Ranallo: What the he-
Graves: I c - an --
Phillips: --s ther- --
Commentary cuts in and out in the darkness, leading fans watching around the world to wonder if their feeds are have technical difficulties or this is all part of some bigger plan. Their answer comes when the lights return - in blood red.
Vinny Marseglia is still on the apron, his axe buried deep right beneath where Bray Wyatt's head used to be.
Except Wyatt is gone. All of him. Vanished into the darkness. What's left now is something else entirely standing in the center of the squared circle.
Ranallo: ITS THE FIEND!
Phillips: How... but... there's no way... that's just...
There's the thud of a dropped microphone as Graves abandons his post, dives over the barricade and retreats into the crowd. Vinny Marseglia turns to behold The Fiend - this most horrendous incarnation of Bray Wyatt. Does he finally see him now. Its impossible to read either face - one being a permanently contorted visage, the other lost somewhere in the limbo between admiring something and wanting to destroy it.
The moment doesn't last long before the lights cut out again. The crowd's "HOLY SHIT" chants that accompanied the arrival of The Fiend become amorphous in the confusion. When the house lights come back on - no longer read, but ordinary - the ring is empty. Both Vinny Marseglia and Bray Wyatt are gone, with only the blood from their first battle left behind. Nobody knows what to make of any of it.
Ranallo: I... hmmm... I find myself at a rare loss for words, Tom.
Phillips: All I can say is that as violent and as ruthless a fight as that was - something that would take the fight out of most people - it feels more like a beginning than an end, doesn't it?
Ranallo: I'm afraid you might be right.
The crowd continues to mumble and murmur among themselves as they try to make sense of what they just witnessed. On this dour, mysterious note, Final Battle rolls on.
As there’s a break in the Final Battle action, things head to elsewhere in the city where, as promised at Backlash, some familiar faces are seen rolling in.
Heath Slater: Are you sure Invisible Stan is going to be here?
Jones: What a preposterous question, Heath. You think I’d drag all of us all the way out here if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure we’d not only find, but catch, that airy bastard?
Rhino: Gore.
Jones: Fine, doubt me if you must but believe me, once this mission is a success and I’m proven right you’re going to be standing there with egg on your faces! Ooey, gooey, egg! And not only that but the months of getting pummeled by Rhino over misunderstandings will all have been worth it!
A rustling is heard.
Jones: Here he comes now! This is going to be easier than I thought!
As the rustling continues, Jones and the duo of Heath Slater and Rhino move in to investigate a nearby bush where the rustling is coming from. Jones suddenly leaps into action, hastily brushing some of the branches aside.
Jones: Aha…Moondog, what are you doing in this bush?
Moondog: I wish that was the first time in my life I’ve had to answer that question. Anyway, I figured the best way to find Invisible Stan is to think like Invisible Stan, ya know? Blend in to the environment.
Jones: That makes sense. Say, where’s Yikes and Scoops and Stinger?
Suddenly, a ringing of a telephone!
RING RING~!
Jones, Moondog, Slater and Rhino all look down the way to where a payphone is ringing! The quartet rushes over, all of them unceremoniously cramming into the one-person booth to answer the phone as a collective.
Slater: You got Slater!
Jones: Jaytherious J. Jones, at your service.
LeCavlier: This is Moondog. Unless you're the IRS. Then Moondog is dead and you need to contact Debbie LeCavlier at 587-599-3466.
Rhino: Gore.
The voice on the other end of the line is a familiar one.
McCallahan: Where are you jackasses?!? We were supposed to rendezvous at the Invisible People's Visibility March!
Jones: That's where we are, you She Monster. In fact, and also, better yet, we're where its going to be.
LeCavlier: Probably.
Slater: Hard to say with the Invisie's. They're like the wind without the blow.
McCallahan: Well I had Sting drop me off while he went to find parking cause all the roads are closed, but for the life of me, I can't see a heads nor tail of Stan, let alone any other Invisible People's.
LeCavlier: Well, that's what you get for splitting up with us, Scoops. You never were much of a team player.
Jones: Gah. I swear the bigger they are the dumber they bitch.
McCallahan: Well I'm just glad you could make it out with us tonight, Jones. I know how hard it for sex offenders to get a pass on that 6pm curfew and given that - wait! Hold on! I see something coming my way!
There's some rustling and rummaging heard through the phone. Slater and Rhino and JJ and Moondog all wait in that cramped phonebooth with baited breath. Finally, Scoops picks up again.
McCallahan: False alarm. It was just Yikes parachuting in. She crashed into the side of a Sizzler. I think she might have - oh - no - wait - she's fine. Yeah. Yeah she's doing the thing where she rubs her braces and prophecies. Uh-huh. Yeah. Something about Roman Reigns using dog shampoo or something. I better check on her.
You can tell Scoops has pulled away from the receiver but the yelling still comes through like yelling.
McCallahan: You okay sweetie? Your braces look a little loose! Oh? What? You just got them tightened? Shame. Such a shame. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. I think your glasses got a bit dinged up, too. Yeah. Yeah a little scratch there, right on the left. No your other left. Still not that one. Yep. There ya go. Oh those were brand new glasses? Really? Shame. Such a shame. They're very -
JJ hangs up the phone and shakes his head.
Jones: I'm sure they'll be fine.
Rhino: Gore.
LeCavlier: Of course he means it.
Slater: Shhhhh! Do you hear that?
All four of them press their ears up to the glass.
Jones: Sounds like...
Rhino: Gore.
Slater: Exactly.... marching.
The streets are empty - at least - they appear to be. Nevertheless, the unmistakable din of a thousand pairs of shoes stepping on pavement permeates through the summer night. Rhino and Moondog and Slater and JJ try to go to investigate but unfortunately the door to the payphone booth is an inswing and now that they're all in there they're trapped like fish in a uh... well... a fish trap. Ya know?
Slater: This must be what those submariners felt like before the ship imploded!
Rhino: Gore.
Slater: You’re right, too soon.
Jones: How the heck are we going to get out of here?
Moondog: Is that who I think it is?
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: Well isn’t this rich? Actually, I’m rich, this is just sad. Four peckerheads stuck in a phone booth which, by the way, I didn’t know still existed.
Jones: Can you just make like Drax and destroy this thing or something? We’ve got an Invisible man to catch!
Batista grabs the phone booth and it looks like he’s going to rip the door off but instead he just tips it over and starts walking away.
Jones: Damnit! How are we going to get Invisible Stan now?
A cellphone rings!
RING RING~!
Its a godsend! Its coming from JJ's pocket! Except its so cramped he can't reach it. So Slater has to grab it and pass it Rhino while Moondog - using only his teeth - grabs it from there and hands it to Jones.
Slater: Who leaves the ringer unmuted on their cellphone?
Jones: Actual professionals do, Heath. Actual professionals. Also Shhh! Its Sting!
Sure enough, its Sting on the other line. But there's no need for him to be on the phone on account of he's standing right outside the pone booth, and what's more, he's got someone with him!
Sting: Target apprehended, Jaytherious.
Jones: Umm…Stinger? That’s Darby Allin.
Darby Allin: I need something to jump off of!
Jones buries his face in his hands as the others in the phone booth try to console him. Final Battle continues on this defeated note.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UWF Intercontinental Championship. Introducing first, the challenger…..
As the riff kicks in to Jefferson Starship's "Jane," the man known only as "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy emerges from the back to an uproarious pop from the crowd. Sporting his aviators and his magnificently coiffed hair, Cassidy walks coolly down to the ring, hands in his pockets. He doesn't seem to be in a hurry, and as he reaches the end of the ramp, he pauses to offer a weak fist bump to a fan holding a thumb's up out over the barricade.
Tony Chimel: From... wherever... and weighing in at... whatever... he is "Freshly Squeezed," Orange CASSIDY!
Cassidy then heads up the ring steps lazily and eases himself between top and middle ropes, before moving to the middle of the ring and throwing up a half-enthusiastic thumbs up to a pop from the crowd. OC heads to the corner and lounges there as he removes his aviators and awaits the beginning of the contest.
Tony Chimel: And his opponent…..
"Better Than You" begins to play and there is a tidal wave of boos from the fans. After a few moments MJF begins to swagger out of the entrance way. Following behind him is Jake Hager. MJF laughs at the fans who are trying to get under his skin as he walks towards the ring. He adjusts the Intercontinental Championship around his waist just to rub it in their face that he has it.
Tony Chimel: Making his way to the ring accompanied by Jake Hager. Weighing in at 216 pounds from Plainview New York. He says he is better than you and you know it Maxwell Jacob Friedman, M...J...F!!!!
The fans erupt even louder and MJF doesn't pay them any mind. He walks into the ring and Hager opens the ropes for him. He stands in the middle of the ring flexing a bit and smirking as his music fades. MJF pulls the belt from around his waist and hands it over to Hager for safe keeping.
The bell would ring as the referee checks over MJF for any hidden objects. MJF would demand the referee checks OC who turns out his pockets and an extra pair of sunglasses falls out. As the referee goes to pick them up, MJF charges and begins hitting Cassidy with elbows and punches. OC would get an elbow in himself, somehow with his hands still in his pockets and MJF would back off into the ropes, going between them to force a break as OC goes for a tie up. The referee begins to count and OC lets off rather quickly, this allows MJF to run in and hit a forearm to OC, knocking him flat and going for a cover.
Mauro Ranallo:MJF looking for a quick finish here with that cheap elbow
Tom Phillips: The Intercontinental Champion desperate to hold onto his gold and his reign here.
Corey Graves: You say cheap shot Mauro, I say tactical genius, also do you really want the Intercontinental Championship represented by a guy who wrestles with his hands in his pockets.
1….Kickout
OC kicks out and MJF gets up and into the referees face, this allows OC to kip up behind MJF, the crowd popping as the King of Sloth style walks casually up behind his opponent and starts delivering that “Devastating Kick” Combo to the back of MJF’s legs. The crowd are cheering the whole time as MJF turns round, to OC still delivering these kicks, lightly tapping his opponent, its wonder MJF hasn’t begged for mercy, just to finish it. Maxwells face says it all, he is not happy with his opponent. OC backs off of the shin kicks and delivers the devastating Superkick and then backs off satisfied with the “damage” he has caused his opponent. With his back turn MJF goes for a charging Lariat to the back but OC ducks it and delivers a Front Dropkick to MJF as he comes back off the ropes. Cassidy lazily flops down into a cover.
Mauro Ranallo: DID YOU SEE THOSE DEVASTATING KICKS CASSIDY DELIVERED TO MJF. AFTER PUNISHMENT LIKE THAT I’M SHOCKED MJF CAN STILL STAND.
Tom Phillips: I know if I took punishment like that, I would need medical attention.
Corey Graves: Phillips if you get out of bed too quickly you need medical attention. This is a damn embarrassment to MJF and the Intercontinental Championship
1….1.5…..Kickout
MJF gets a shoulder up and before Cassidy can deliver another assault like before, rolls to the outside and consults with Hager. The former All American American, whispers something into Maxwells ear. The whole time OC is still in the ring, as usual being nonplussed about the whole situation. MJF climbs up onto the rope and OC still just stands there, menacingly in the middle of the ring. Maxwell gets into the ring and gets face to face with OC, delivering a slap straight to his face and knocking off the sunglasses. This gets an ooh from the crowd. OC looks down at his sunglasses and goes to pick them up. MJF uses this as an opportunity to try and throw OC to the mat but OC rolls out the way and goes for a Satellite DDT but MJF manages to reverse it and push OC off, hitting him with a Superkick, knocking the Slothful Wonder down. MJF goes for a pin, putting his feet on the rope.
Mauro Ranallo: MJF seeming hesitant to join Cassidy in the ring, once again resorting to cheap tactics to try and pull a win out here.
Tom Phillips: We shouldn’t be shocked about MJF’s tactics by now Mauro, I mean he’s even got his damn feet on the ropes.
Corey Graves: Hey if the referee doesn’t see it then its all fair game guys
1….2….Referee stops the count.
The referee see’s Friedmans feet on the ropes and ends the count, the Salt of the Earth once again argues with the referee and the referee warns him to back off or risk a DQ. MJF shakes his head as he backs off. OC is still on the floor, if it weren’t for the slow roll to the outside then you would think he was asleep. MJF again shakes his head at his opponent and then looks to the ground and see’s the sunglasses. He would flip off OC and then stomp repeatedly on the sunglasses, breaking them in half. This would seem to light some sort of fire in OC as he quickly, as quick as OC would in pocket mode, runs into the ring and ducks under an MJF forearm. Rebounding off the ropes he would hit two consecutive Orange Peels onto MJF and once MJF gets back to his feet, slightly dazed, OC would charge and hit the Satellite DDT onto Friedman, with slightly more tenacity OC would cover.
Mauro Ranallo: OH MJF MADE A MISTAKE THERE, HE MIGHT HAVE AWOKEN THE ORANGE DRAGON BOYS
Tom Phillips: You never mess with a man's sunglasses, especially a sweet pair like that. Those look like top of the brand Raybans
Corey Graves: Oh please Phillips, they’re probably those cheap pairs you buy from a guy in an alleyway
1….2….2.5…..Rope break.
MJF gets a foot on the rope, the referee breaks the count, what the referee had not noticed however was Hager subtly pushing the rope towards MJF who caught it at the last second. Again MJF rolls to the outside and thanks Hager with a pat on the back. The duo would get back to talking but the conversation would be broken up by the duo noticing OC behind them, Hager would get in between OC and MJF. OC would begin delivering those “Devastating Kicks” to Hager who would look less interested than MJF. As OC went for the Superkick, Hager would get out of the way and allow MJF to hit a Superkick of his own. The referee would be at a 4 count and MJF would roll back into the ring. In the ring he would flash that signature shit eating grin of his as the crowd would boo. The referee would continue counting.
Mauro Ranallo: That dastardly duo of MJF and Hager using the numbers advantage on Cassidy
Tom Phillips: Can’t believe that the referee hasn’t kicked Hager out yet, first he breaks up that pin and then he helps MJF hit a cheap shot
Corey Graves: Phillips please can you stop complaining for five minutes, you might live longer. Actually no go on keep complaining.
4….5….6
On the outside OC begins to stir but theres something different about him. He sees more focused and the hands, the hands are out of the pockets. OC turns to the camera and he reveals he’s chugged down that trusty bottle of Orange Juice. The crowd erupts into cheers as OC charges into the ring and grabs an escaping MJF by the trunks and pulls and lifts him into a Blue Thunder Bomb. Cassidy then grabs Friedmans ankle and locks in an Orange Twist. Before MJF can tap, Hager runs into the ring and attempts to attack Cassidy who ducks the Lariat Hager throws and lets go of Friedman, turning and delivering a Superkick to Hager. OC would then grab a bottle of Orange Juice in the back of his trousers and open it up, forcing the bottle into Hagers mouth and making him drink it down, Hager would roll out the ring coughing up a lung from the amount of OJ in his system. OC would then take a sip, MJF would go for a Half Nelson Suplex but OC would land on his feet, waiting for Friedman to get back to his feet, OC would spit the Orange Juice in the face of MJF and hit a Canadian Destroyer, holding Friedman down for the pin.
Mauro Ranallo: ORANGE MIST INTO A CANADIAN DESTROYER, THE ORANGE JUICE HAS AWOKEN THE DRAGON
Tom Phillips: Well they do say Orange juice revitalses you but I don’t think Minute Maid meant for this to happen. OC also taking out that snake Hager with his daily Vitamin C
Corey Graves: Are you nuts Phillips, you know you can get Vitamin C poisoning and for all we know, poor Jake Hager is suffering from that.
1….2….2.5….Kick Out.
Despite the assault he has just experienced, MJf manages to get a shoulder up, the crowd erupting into a mix of boos and shock. For his own part, Cassidy seems disappointed in what happened. Cassidy backs up and as MJF gets back to his feet runs and goes for an Orange Punch but Friedman gets out of the way, hitting a forearm to the back of Cassidys head, causing Cassidy to go into the corner. Friedman charges and hits a corner elbow. MJF looks down at his opponent and picks him up to hit the Double Cross but Cassidy slips out and goes for a Straight Right but MJF lifts him up onto the apron. Cassidy tries to hit a shoulder barge to the stomach but MJF hits a Knee Lift straight into his face and hits the Heat Seeker onto Cassidy. MJF then grabs the arm of Cassidy and locks in the Salt of the Earth.
Mauro Ranallo: SALT OF THE EARTH, MJF LOOKING TO END IT HERE, RIGHT NOW FOLKS
Tom Phillips: Cassidy with a look on his face, trying to hold on but the longer he does, the more damage done to his arm
Corey Graves: COME ON MJF, RIP THAT ARM OUT OF HIS DAMN SOCKET.
Back in the ring and Cassidy is holding on, despite MJF delivering elbows to his arm, Cassidy manages to get a foot up and leverages him into a roll up, MJF lets go and kicks out a two count. The pair get back to their feet and begin to duke it out, MJF goes for a Superkick but Cassidy gets out the way and delivers one of his own, Cassidy backs up and runs jumping, going for the Orange Punch, if he hits this then its all over, however as he connects, MJF connects with a blatant low blow in front of the referee. Cassidy drops to the ground as the referee calls for the bell.
Tony Chimel: Your winner of this contest by disqualification…… Orange Cassidy
Mauro Ranallo: Wow folks, I believe none of us expected this excellent contest to end like this. MJF hitting Cassidy with a blatant low blow
Tom Phillips: MJF clearly knew that Orange Cassidy had his number in the closing moments of that match and in desperation to keep his title, he stooped to this level.
Corey Graves: Listen Phillips, MJF came out here to keep ahold of his Intercontinental Championship and that's what he did, like it or don’t he got results
Tony Chimel: However still your UWF Intercontinental Champion, Maxwell Jacob Friedman
Rolling to the outside to join back up with Hager, MJF would take hold of his belt while tapping his temple. He might not have won the match but he keeps the belt and in MJF’s world, thats a win. The camera would focus once more on Cassidy as Final Battle moves on.
Camera fades in to a dimly lit backstage area with a silhouette in the shadows. A deep, commanding voice resonates throughout the room.
A Familiar Voice: "In this business, there are those who strive to be the best, and then there are those who simply survive. But I am neither of those. I am Bronson Reed, and I have come to put the entire locker room on notice!"
The camera cuts to Bronson Reed, wearing a suit , standing tall and intense, staring directly into the camera.
Bronson Reed: "For far too long, I've witnessed complacency, mediocrity, and a lack of hunger in this industry. The fire that once burned bright has been extinguished, replaced by a false sense of security. But no more!"
The camera cuts to shots of various wrestlers in the locker room, looking on with curiosity and concern.
Bronson Reed: "To every man and woman who dares to step foot in this squared circle, I want you to understand something. I am not here to make friends. I am not here to play politics. I am here to destroy everything in my path!"
The camera transitions to footage of Bronson Reed decimating opponents in the ring with his signature moves.
Bronson Reed: "You see, I am a relentless force of nature. I am the embodiment of pure aggression, unyielding intensity, and unwavering determination. I thrive on chaos. I feed off the fear in your eyes. And trust me when I say this: I will bring you to your knees."
Cut to a montage of Bronson Reed standing tall, victorious, as the crowd erupts in both admiration and awe.
Bronson Reed: "Consider this your warning. The time for games is over. From this moment forward, the entire locker room will be forced to reckon with the unrelenting fury that is Bronson Reed!"
The screen fades to black, leaving only the sound of a heartbeat pounding in the background.
Bronson Reed: "Tick-tock... The reckoning is near."
The screen cuts to the and the words "Bronson Reed: The Collossas" appear...
We cut to the backstage area where Kayla Braxton is walking up to Sami Zayn, La Luchadora and El Generico.
Kayla Braxton: Excuse me Sami? I just want to get a word in on how things are going after your match between you and Will Ospreay.
Sami Zayn: What do you mean?
Kayla Braxton: Well we saw you throw him out of the ring and steal his pinfall.
Sami Zayn: Steal his pinfall? Kayla, it was a tag team match. I'm a tag specialist. Sometimes guys pick up their opponents and hold them in place to take collateral damage so their partner can hit a big move. That's essentially what I did. I'd be perfectly happy if he did the same thing to me to win the match.
Kayla Braxton: Well you didn't seem too happy last week when he got the win.
Sami Zayn: That was a completely different circumstance. Plus we hashed it out.
Kayla Braxton: How did you hash it out? What was the conclusion.
Sami Zayn: Well I was right and he was wrong.
Kayla Braxton: So things are good between you two?
Sami Zayn: Yeah things are great!
Kayla Braxton: Then where is he?
Sami Zayn: What's with all the questions? Who do you think you are Renee Young? He had some business to take care of much like I have to do.
Kayla Braxton: You're not going to watch the main event?
Sami Zayn: Did you not see my match? That was the main event. This is just an exhibition match between two second rate wrestlers who aren't even in my league. How Edge goes to losing to me to getting to be in the main event the next month is mind boggling. Don't worry though, I'll make it right.
Kayla Braxton: You're not going to get involved in the main event are you?
Sami Zayn: God no! I'd never hear the end of it. I got something bigger planned. Just you wait and see.
Zayn walks off as Kayla looks a bit uneasy as we head back to the ring.
The house lights go down. The arena is filled with darkness. The fans wait in anticipation, knowing that the big fight they've all been awaiting is about to get underway. A spotlight shines on the middle of the ring, where a well-dressed man stands ready with a microphone and a few queue cards. It's not Tony Chimel. No, the usual UWF ring announcer's standing by timekeeping and looking a little disappointed right now. Instead, in his place, is the man. The myth. The magnificent Michael Buffer.
Michael Buffer: Tonight, we are going to witness the highly anticipated conclusion to one of the hottest tournaments in the history of the Ultimate Wrestling Federation. For the honor of being called King of the Ring 2023! Are you ready? UWF Universe, are you rrrrrrrrrready?
There is a huge pop from this capacity crowd. Oh yeah. That big fight energy is in the house, and Buffer has 'em amped.
For the tens of thousands in attendance, and for the millions watching around the world. From the capital city of the United States of America, Washington D.C. Ladies and gentlemen –
The moment Buffer makes his pronouncement, the theme song of one Diabetic Dragon hits the soundsystem.
A lone synthetetic violin whispers through the air like a pterodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entrance way. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out on to the ramp, fists and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day while his step-sister Bayley follows close behind. He does some shadow boxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Tony Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by Bayley, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... the Hollywood Champion, Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's neck is has that Tinsel Town strap slung over his shoulder. His pace is in lock-step with the groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred his title belt like a guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight. Bayley, meanwhile, lurks and lingers on the fringe of the squared circle, ready to fight dirty if it comes to that.
Tom Phillips: Well, it all comes down to this. After a month of fierce competition, we have finally come to the conclusion of the 2023 King of the Ring Tournament and in one corner, we have the tenacious Kyle O'Reilly.
Corey Graves: Tenacious? Yeah, that's one word for it, Tom. More concerning to me is the presence of Kyle's sister on the outside of the ring. We know the type of person Bayley is – for lack of a better word – ratchet.
Mauro Ranallo: That may be the case, Corey, but you can't blame Kyle O'Reilly for bringing someone to ringside with him. This is arguably the most important match of his career, a moment that he can prove to the world that he is every bit as successful a solo star as his one-time mentor, Larry Sweeney. Kyle O'Reilly has taken years to get to this point here in the UWF, years of fighting with tag partners and on his own. He has endured some of the most brutal attacks in the history of this company. And now, finally, he has the golden opportunity to claim a shot at the top prize in the UWF. For KOR, this match is a must win.
Kyle is stretching before the bout in his corner when the music of his opponent hits.
A sick 80s inspired beat starts to pulsate through the arena as the lights dim and lasers in all sorts of rad colors begin to dance around the stage area. We're talking magenta, cyan, purple, orange, it's lit up like a Pink Floyd show. After a few seconds of this beat building with some flourishes, you here the familiar phrase:
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
And after it, the beat picks up harder, and as the synth begins to belt out an instrumental version of Edge's most iconic theme, you see him, emerging from a cloud of smoke to strobe lights in the same colors as the lasers, which are now dancing around the whole arena. There's no animalistic prowling across the stage, just a smooth swagger to his stride. A smirk on his lips as he matches his stride to the vibe of the music. At ringside, he waits for the music to start to swell again and as it does, he slides into the ring. As it would kick into the second chorus (like if there were actual words) he ascends the turnbuckle and poses as the ring announcer does what he's paid to do.
Chimel: Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds, Edge!
Graves: Speaking of opportunities, Edge – the Ultimate Opportunist – will be looking to seize on a massive one here tonight as he aims to become the UWF's first back-to-back King of the Ring.
Phillips: The road that Edge took to this moment is every bit as unorthodox as his opponent's, Corey. Claiming controversial victories over several opponents, and with what seemed like a target painted on his back, the Rated R Superstar is no stranger to performing under pressure but this just might be the most he has ever faced.
Ranallo: And yet you get the sense that it is under pressure when Edge performs his best. A multi-time world champion, the savvy veteran knows what it takes to win matches like this – he did it just last year! – and he's as close as you can get to an odds-on favorite.
As Edge moves to his corner and adjusts his wrist tape, the referee checks in with both men, reminding them that he wants a clean contest – no funny business. He even casts a knowing glance to Bayley at that. Before the bell, dueling chants kick up in the stands as the truly divided audience show their support: "LET'S GO EDGE!" "K...O...R!" "LET'S GO EDGE!" "K...O...R!" It feels a bit like this place could come unglued at a moment's notice. And just as the tension reaches a crescendo, the ref motions and the match gets underway.
DING DING!
The two contenders for this year's King of the Ring Crown converge at the middle of the squared circle, trading words that neither can hear for the raucous audience, all of whom are on their feet. There's no lack of jaw-flapping before KOR gives Edge a shove. The Torontonian plants his back foot and glares at Kyle, then lifts a finger and wags it. He returns the shove, and Kyle plants his own feet, absorbing the attempt without budging. The two men stare at each other for a good, long moment. The only thing this standoff needs is an idle ball of tumbleweed and an Ennio Morricone audio queue.
Phillips: We're more than a minute into this match and this duo has barely traded a lick of offense.
Graves: Can you blame them, Phillips? This arena is almost in a riot and they haven't even touched each other!
The standoff breaks with Edge locking Kyle up into a collar-and-elbow. The pair jostle for position, and KOR actually slips behind his opponent, but Edge is quick to pivot into a spin to wind up behind Kyle. Kyle throws a back elbow, but Edge ducks it. Kyle then spins around into a sweep of the feet, but Edge leaps over it. Kyle comes up with an attempted uppercut, but Edge leaps backward, avoiding the blow. The Human Swiss Army Knife grins, then shrugs, and mouths "all right." Edge winks at him. They walk in a semicircle, then pace back the other way, keeping the distance even between themselves before once more, Edge comes in for the grapple. This time, Kyle has it scouted, and his foot comes up in a quick ax kick that smashes one of Edge's hands. The former World Champ flinches and shakes his hand out but before he can get much more of a reaction in, he's blanked by a rolling elbow!
Ranallo: Ax and Smash by the Diabetic Dragon and we're seeing precisely how gifted a striker he is already in this match.
Edge reels to the ropes, and Kyle pursues. But as he draws in close and attempts a running elbow, Edge actually drops to the canvas and pulls down the top rope, sending Kyle careening over and to the outside. He lands hard on hands and knees on the floor, and Bayley is right there to shout some words of encouragement and offer him a Gatorade. Kyle looks to his sister, thanks her, but shakes his head and he finds his feet and turns back toward the ring – only to be taken to the floor by a suicide dive from Edge! There's a mixed reaction from the crowd – as to be expected, given the divided fanbase – as Edge transitions into a side headlock on O'Reilly, using the hold to bring him to his feet and torquing it as he does. O'Reilly, however, sneaks an arm around behind the Ultimate Opportunist and cinches in at the waist. Before Edge has fully registered what's happening, O'Reilly bends to hook the leg and he lifts his fellow Canadian up and over into a Regalplex on the outside!
Graves: I'll bet ya Edge is happy he has Canadian citizenship right now because too many drops like that and he'll need some of that universal healthcare!
Kyle is quick to mount his opponent on the outside, for a moment disregarding the official's count as he hits three. The Canadian Psycho rains open-palmed strikes down on the Ultimate Opportunist, Edge throwing his arms up to deflect some of the blows. Deep red splotches show on Edge's forearms before Kyle pulls up and away, running a hand over his short hair. He comes back to collect his foe, who by now has started crawling toward a barricade. Kyle grabs Edge by the hair, but as he starts to pull his opponent up, Edge catches him in the gut with a forearm, and then another, before slipping behind O'Reilly and lifting him up, then dropping the tailbone of the Human Swiss Army Knife on his knee with an atomic drop! O'Reilly lurches away bracing that tailbone as Edge pursues, grabbing his opponent behind the head and redirecting him just enough to bulldog his face onto the ring steps! This draws a mixed reaction from the fans and shouts of rebuke from the official as Edge rises to his feet, all bug-eyed like he's known to get sometimes as he runs a hand through his locks and looks out at the crowd.
Phillips: Things are getting spicy now as Edge uses the environment to his advantage, but to the distaste of a large portion of the fans here tonight!
Graves: You know, Tom, you can say what you want about him – and we all know I sure do – but I have to admit I've always admired Edge's willingness to do whatever it takes to get things done.
Edge collects a dazed O'Reilly off the steps, and the camera gets a good look of the trickle of blood running from his nostrils. The former rolls the latter under the bottom rope and slides in after him, going for a quick cover.
1...
...NO! Kyle O'Reilly kicks out right after the one count!
Ranallo: What might have been a knockout blow for some was merely a stunning one for El Mono Araña Blanco.
Mauro gets right into the accent when he drops the nickname. He's extra like that. What's not extra is what Edge does next, as he positions at Kyle's feet and begins to set up the Edgecator! Unfortunately for Edge, KOR has a martial arts background, and as Edge steps through for the submission, Kyle actually grabs his leg, sweeps the other out from underneath him, and traps him in a straight ankle lock! The crowd immediately turns – those who had been booing are cheering, those who had been cheering now booing – as O'Reilly looks to put this thing away with heavy torque on the joint, perhaps threatening to break the damn thing. It doesn't really matter to him if Edge taps – he's trying to do the most amount of damage in the least amount of time. Anything more is just gravy. But Edge is a savvy ring veteran, so after a few moments of pain and panic, he reaches and grasps the nearest rope, forcing the official to call for a break. Kyle keeps the hold on a little while longer, prompting a count, before releasing at four and sliding back and away from Edge to the bottom rope opposite, grinning across at his opponent, who is glaring daggers back at him.
Graves: What a counter by the Diabetic Dragon! As deadly a striker as he is, people often forget Kyle O'Reilly's background in BJJ and other martial arts. He's a rounded and lethal opponent in that ring.
Phillips: I'd say. And now the question is, will Edge even be able to finish this match?
O'Reilly reaches and grabs the top rope, using it to pull himself back up to his vertical base. Edge, leaning on the middle rope, rises to one knee and then up to standing – but not freely, as he hobbles on the ankle. O'Reilly is on it like a shark smelling blood in the water. He runs right at Edge, but what he's not expecting is an explosion of action out of Edge as he surges off the ropes and into an attempted Spear! Still, O'Reilly manages to give as good as he gets as he leaves his feet, and as Edge's shoulder makes contact with his gut, Kyle's Harpoon Torpedo connects with the former's solar plexus with a resounding and sickening SLAP that can be heard in the nosebleeds! It's the kind of disaster you can't look away from, like a trainwreck or the movie "Cats." Both men hit the canvas hard, Edge thrashing around as he rolls to the far corner and ends up on his side, staring out to the crowd and clutching his torso. Kyle writhes right there in the middle of the ring, clutching his ribs and gazing up at the house lights. The fans actually fall silent, before the first unified chant kicks up through the arena: "THIS IS AWESOME!"
Ranallo: MAMMA MIA! Both men skewered the other, be it with Spear or Harpoon, and this match has just been blown wide open!
Bayley starts slapping the canvas in Kyle's corner, trying to help him rally, but the cheering and chanting of the crowd is so loud and Kyle so winded that it doesn't seem to register. His sister rolls a bottle of Gatorade under the bottom rope in case he needs the hydration, but the official shakes his head and shouts at Bayley to knock it off before intercepting the bottle with a foot and kicking it back out. Bayley looks at him like he's just committed a cardinal sin and better watch out the next time he heads to his car or into a dark alley. He hits her with a shrug.
Graves: That's a good man, ref! Keep things even!
Edge has managed to find his feet in the corner, but he's hobbled. Walking with a bit of a limp, and still trying to rub the numbness out of his abdomen. He approaches Kyle who seems still completely out of it and bends down to collect his opponent... but no! O'Reilly pulls him into a surprise roll-up!
1...
2...
...NO! Edge kicks out at 2 3/4!
The fans collectively gasp and then the Edgeheads pop as Edge rolls the heck outta dodge, retreating to the outside with a look of genuine shock on his face. O'Reilly sits up, shaking his head, then slapping the canvas in frustration. He thought he had him there. He thought he had the crown. But he doesn't get to mourn for long before Edge is back in the ring. O'Reilly rises to his own feet and the men meet in the middle of the ring with a thunderous flurry of lefts and rights that have the fans trading "OH!" outbursts for their respective man.
Ranallo: It's a donnybrook! A ruckus! A fracas!
Graves: Yeah, I think they got the point Mauro.
O'Reilly actually reaches and grabs Edge by the hair, tugging him into a doubled-over position as though he were a hockey player jerseying his opponent, then starts thumping Edge on the spine. But Edge drives him back into the corner and connects with a shoulder thrust. As Edge retreats, Kyle hits him with a left forearm shiver, then a right, then a spinning back elbow. The combo of strikes staggers Edge and KOR goes for one more as he spins into a discus forearm smash to the face that grounds his opponent! Edge looks dazed! Kyle grins as Edge scrambles onto hands and knees, then stalks him from behind before stepping over his legs and underhooking both arms.
Phillips: This is it, he's going for it!
Kyle deadlifts Edge to his feet, then tries to bridge up and over with Blue Eyes Diabetic Dragon. But no! Edge gets a foot wrapped around his shin and manages to resist the lift. Kyle tries again, and again, Edge resists. So Kyle improvises – and pulls a dirty trick – by adjusting his positioning and spinning Edge out with an Unprettier! Kyle rolls Edge onto his back and goes for the cover as the Edgeheads in the crowd boo loudly.
1...
2...
...NO! Edge kicks out at 2 5/6ths!
Graves: Kickout! Kickout by Edge! He's still alive!
Kyle wipes some sweat from his brow. He rises to his feet and looks to Bayley and the Gatorade. He heads to the corner to take a sip. While his back is turned, he doesn't see Edge kip up. Somehow, someway, the Ultimate Opportunist is living up to that promise of performing when the lights are brightest. He has tapped into some kind of second wind. He surges in behind Kyle, who doesn't catch Bayley's cries of alarm or pointing as he throws back the Gatorade, taking a powerful gulp – only to spit it all out again as he is thumped hard on the upper back by a running forearm smash that sends him crashing into the turnbuckles and reeling back and out into the waiting arms of Edge. His opponent kicks him in the gut, catches him in the DDT clutch, and connects with the Edgecution!
Phillips: Caught him with the Edgecution! That could be it!
Edge rolls Kyle over and drapes an arm, visibly exhausted.
1...
...
...NO! Kyle kicks out at 2 9/10ths!
Ranallo: NO! Kyle O'Reilly is still alive!
Mauro is clutching his hair and looking on in disbelief. The fans are stunned, and then kick up a new chant. Neither man looks to be rising any time soon.
"FIGHT FOREVER!"
Graves: The UWF Universe here tonight is making their feelings known but I'm not sure how much fight either of these men has left to give.
Phillips: These two men have been trading absolute bombs for a while now and yet neither one is willing to stay down for a full three count. Someone might have to be knocked flat out for this match to end.
The official has started up a ten count seeing as neither man is really moving.
1...
2...
3...
Ohp. There's some signs of life, as both men roll onto their sides. Edge looks tired and visibly hurt. Kyle looks like he might just be running on pure instinct at this point. The men are facing each other but they're not making eye contact. They'd have to be mentally present to do that.
...4...
5...
6...
Edge starts to drag himself toward Kyle. Kyle starts to drag himself toward Edge. It's a mere foot or two of space but it feels like an eternity, and damn it, that ref's count is still going, as is the chant.
...7...
8...
9...
Edge grabs Kyle's shoulder and pushes up to one knee. Kyle grabs Edge's shoulder and pulls himself up after. Their eyes are still wandering, still hazy, before their gaze locks in with one another. It's unclear if they're about to beat the piss out of each other or lock in an embrace or both. And then it very suddenly becomes the former as Edge hits Kyle with a punch to the jaw. Kyle reels back, arms dangling limply for a moment, before one surges up and catches Edge flush on the side of the face with another forearm shiver. Edge reels, planting a hand to catch himself, then whips back at Kyle with a left hook so ugly its mother would be ashamed of it. Kyle snaps to the side, but comes back with a hard palm strike to the chest. Edge leans backward like he's Matrix dodging some bullets, then rebounds into a chop unleashed so heavily that the snap of it connecting with Kyle's chest could probably be heard in the cheap seats. Kyle's pale skin blooms a bright, angry rose as he wheezes, but then he pushes up to his vertical base using Edge's shoulder for leverage. Edge comes with him. They're both standing, leaning on one another, neither having the strength, energy or wherewithal to stay on their own feet of their own volition.
Ranallo: This is going to get ugly.
As though it hasn't already, Mauro. As though it hasn't already. The pair trade words while clutching one another. Words meant only for each other. It wouldn't matter if they were shouted at maximum volume. The fans still have yet to settle down. And then Edge connects with a European uppercut. Kyle reels and spills into the ropes, before rebounding with a Hookshot Lariat. But Edge ducks under! And then he lifts Kyle up on his shoulders and drops him with the electric chair facebuster! There's a huge pop from the Edgeheads as the Ultimate Opportunist rolls Kyle over and covers. O'Reilly looks ragdolled.
Graves: It's over!
1...
2...
...NO! Kyle kicks out right after the 2!
Graves: What?!?
Kyle sits up, looking pissed off and potentially feral. Edge looks shocked and shakes his head in disbelief. The Diabetic Dragon then grabs Edge on both sides of his head and pulls him into the ugliest headbutt you ever did see! Edge's nose crunches at the blow, and he looks utterly dazed as Kyle tilts his head back... then headbutts him again. Edge lays out flat on his back. Kyle, somehow, rises slowly to his feet. And then he does it.
He mimes producing the dagger flute, and playing that sucker. The camera, close in on his face, then zooms out as Edge is seen groggily finding his feet. Kyle's there and waiting for him. He underhooks the arms, and he lifts him up and over with the Blue Eyes Diabetic Dragon! The fans sit in stunned silence as Kyle performs the perfect bridge and then count with the official.
1...
2...
...3!
DING DING DING!
Here is your winner, and the 2023 UWF King of the Ring:
KYLE O'REILLY!
Even the Edgeheads have to cheer as Kyle's name is announced. A flurry of pyrotechnics pop off as he rolls to one knee, then points to the fans with tears of joy streaming.
Ranallo: He's done it! After years in this company, toiling as a tag wrestler, an enforcer, and finally a breakout singles star, Kyle O'Reilly has achieved the greatest victory of his career so far and now has won the right to call himself King Kyle.
Phillips: In an absolute war of a match against a very game Edge who was looking to repeat his monumentous feat of the previous year, Kyle O'Reilly showed he has what it takes to win when the stakes are highest – and we will soon see if he can parlay this victory into an even bigger one.
Graves: I'm not sure what amazes me more: that Kyle won this match, or that Bayley somehow managed not to get involved and cost him the victory!
Speaking of Bayley, she enters the ring and practically tackle hugs her brother as he laughs aloud. Edge, rolling out of the ring, looks on from the outside at the victor, who by now has risen to his feet. Edge nods at Kyle, who nods in return – then tosses him an unopened bottle of Blue Gatorade. It's a show of respect. Edge cracks that sucker open and chugs it down as the fans pop loudly for their new King of the Ring and the show draws to a conclusion with Kyle celebrating his moment in front of the live, capacity crowd.
END OF SHOW
Credits
Zayn & Ospreay vs LWO - CWalker
WARHORSE vs The Shark - Dresden
Wyatt vs Marseglia - Fauche
Edge vs Kyle O'Reilly - Crann
Lee vs McIntyre, Hayter vs Reigns - Danny
MJF vs Cassidy, TV title match, Joe vs Spike - Gunn