Post by Danny on Jan 29, 2024 2:55:59 GMT -6
And now UWF presents...
As the logo is seen, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the fans from all around the world gathered for the Royal Rumble! The camera pans over to the commentary team where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello and welcome to the Royal Rumble! 30 men will put it all on the line to determine who faces the UWF Champion in the main event of Wrestlemania!
Corey Graves: I'm calling it now, Sami Zayn goes from 1 all the way to 30 to usher in a new era of the UWF!
Tom Phillips: Well that's certainly... one of the possibilities but who will be the champion they'll be facing. Drew McIntyre or Vinny Marseglia?
Mauro Ranallo: And that's not the only title on the line as Orange Cassidy will look to defend the Intercontinental Championship against the Primetime Medalist, Rick Rude.
Tom Phillips: And Jaime Hayter challenges for the Television Championship against the defending Champion The Might Caleb in a first for UWF. A Taipei Deathmatch.
Corey Graves: Ugh can't we just skip that? Luckily we'll be able to class it up a bit when Tyler Breeze makes Kyle O'Reilly submit in a Submission Match.
Mauro Ranallo: Speaking of, we have a special message from Tyler Breeze. Roll the footage!
We see clips of Tyler Breeze in several modeling shoots, posing and giving signature look after signature look. As Tyler Breeze in his best Narrator voice dubs over the images of his images being taken.
Tyler Breeze: Who is...Tyler Breeze? Growing up Tyler Breeze knew how ridiculously good looking he was, and turned that into a career. But being really handsome for a living only brought him incredible fortune, droves of fans, and respect of everyone in his chosen field. Models are famous, but Tyler Breeze needed to be More than just Famous. Maybe, In Famous? That sounds like a thing, put that part into the video. Anyways, one day Tyler Breeze heard the buzz about Wrestlemania. The Millions that watch it, the thousands who travel from all over the world to one most likely dingy city in the United States to be part of. Seeing the lights, the glamour, the cameras, I knew I had to become that level of famous. Being a Male Model, I was already genetically gifted to be in peak physical condition. I can easily gain entry to the most secure places in the world, so finding the best trainers was easier than taking a baby from a candy store. Being able to take orders easily in photoshoots also meant that I was able to pick up the teachings of several legendary wrestlers so easily that I could go around to more and more of them to sponge up all the knowledge I could. And now I stand before you, not only the greatest Model Slash Wrestler, but the Greatest Technical Wrestler of All Time. But if you don't believe me, ask these people who Alexa found to speak their minds about me out of the kindness of their hearts.
The clips of Breeze being fawned over by people while he poses cuts to Lance Storm sitting by in what seems like his wrestling school.
Lance Storm: If I could be serious for a minute, years ago I was approached by Tyler Breezes representatives with a large financial offer to assist in training him to be a professional wrestler. Although he is arrogant, and he is a showman with all the pomp and circumstance that I sought to avoid throughout my career, he proved himself a quick learner. Is the man talented? Objectively yes. But if you expect me to sit here and say that he is the Greatest Technical Wrestler of All Time, then you-
Lance Storm is cut off by a quick cut to the next talking head, which is Damien Sandow caught drinking a cup of a tea in a cafe of some kind.
Damien Sandow: What do I, an intellectual savior of the masses who is on a constant quest to rid this world of ignorance and deplorable ineptness…Who to this day is traversing the world spreading his brand of of enlightenment like a beacon of light to as many shadowed minds as possible, saving them from their own inane lives in order to live a life full of knowledge and salvation…Think about Tyler Breeze? Many don’t know this but Ms. Bliss contacted me several years ago to assist in intellectually teaching Mr. Breeze some varied things when it comes to competing in the UWF. So Tyler Breeze was under the enlightened learning tree in my Sandow Family Compound for a good while, learning ways to win that most quote “wrestling trainers” would never think to teach. Therefore, in getting to know Mr. Breeze I can say that he is… a Commendable competitor. You’re Welcome.
Interviewer: actually we have several-
Sandow goes back to his tea as the shot cuts away as it seems the off screen interview didn’t get anything else out of Sandow, cutting to Hunico y Camacho sitting on a couch being asked questions by the same person it seems.
Hunico: Orale vato, I’ll tell you what’s what. Long time ago, the big boss, El Jefe, Eric Escobar came to us and told us. Chale, he said there’s this Model trying to become a wrestler, going round spreading money to learn the ins and outs. Says he needs some Lucha knowledge just to make sure he knows how to fly a little, and counter it ya sabes. So Camacho Y yo, we learned him a few things, got that easy payday and simon! we were off to the next one. Eric says white boy was so connected, even he got in the ring to teach him stuff. Ya sabes tu, Eric Escobar only comes out to play for the big money, pero BIG money. So hell, White boy cool with us, his checks cleared and oye I even like that little face he does. How does it go Camach?
Camacho keeps staring at Hunico with the same quiet and serious face he always has, and Hunico starts laughing and clapping his hands.
Hunico: Ayy guey, ya see, Camacho does it perfectly too.
Hunico points at Camacho as if he’s doing an impression, while Camacho just stoically sits there. The shot cuts away to one last talking head, Tye Dillinger.
Tye Dillinger: Tyler Breeze is one of the greatest in ring talents you'll ever see. He can manipulate your emotions with his looks and throw you off your game like no one else, I mean he’s a scourge on any great wrestler on the roster because he’s just as good as them but looks better doing it. But of course why else would the Perfect Ten choose him to be a partner, It’s only a matter of time before we reunite and-
Interviewer: I’m sorry but Tyler Breeze explicitly wrote in these notes that you two never teamed, apparently he’s wondering why we’re interviewing you at all.
Tye Dillinger: What? We teamed a while ago, don’t you remember that?
Interviewer: I just work for Mr. Breeze, sir, and it reads here that Tyler says that never happened and oddly that you never happened either.
Tye Dillinger: I never happened, what does that even mean, listen I’m going to get him on the phon-
The tape is cut to Tyler Breeze looking into the camera as only he can.
Tyler Breeze: Enough with those uggos and Wanna-Breezes, let’s focus on the question that has many answers. You heard from people jealous they couldn't reach the success I will, people obsessed with latching onto my name, and people unable to recognize the true talent that graced them for a few glorious seconds of their measly lives. But who is the man they couldn't stop talking about, who is Tyler Breeze? He is who you follow, he is who you crave, Tyler Breeze is what the world revolves around. Reluctantly the Greatest Technical Wrestler of All Time, inspiringly the hardest working man in all of Revolution. But above all else and most importantly of all...Tyler Breeze is…Mmm Gorgeous.
The promotional video ends.
The titantron switches from the Royal Rumble graphic to a live feed from backstage, where Renee Young is standing by.
Young: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time, Joey Janela.
The "Bad Boy" saunters into the shot like he's too cool for school. Probably he was just too dumb for school, tho. Regardless, he's dressed to the nines, which is to say, his usual get-up. Pit Vipers. Drive Scorpion jacket. Backwards cap. You know the drill. Renee looks like she'd rather be talking to someone who didn't smell like cigarettes (she's been trying to kick the habit), but ever the professional, she puts on a brave face to get this over with as fast as possible.
Young: Thanks for joining me Joey.
Janela: Yeah, well, you were between me and the shitter so, ya know, two birds with one stone, right Renee?
Young: Uh-huh. I'm sure you have lots of time to kill, and that's lucky for me cause all the real wresters are busy getting ready for the Rumble tonight.
Simmering glares exchanged atop barbs traded. Joey pulls out a dart and lights it right in front of Renee, who again, is in recovery. Rude.
Janela: So what can I help ya with?
Young: Tonight you friend -
Janela: - Best Pal, but whatever -
Young: will be taking on Tyler Breeze in a Submission Match to settle their feud. What kinda insight can you offer into his training ahead of this contest? Has Kyle been working on any new holds we can expect to see tonight?
Joey just shakes his head as he takes a drag.
Janela: "New holds"? What? Nah. Guy's already got more tricks up his sleeve than every magician in Vegas. I don't think there's a submission invented he hasn't learned yet.
Young: It looked like Tyler Breeze caught him off-guard with on Revolution a few weeks ago.
Janela: If Tyler Breeze had been able to say the alphabet all the way from A to Z, that woulda caught Kyle off guard too. That's how little we think of that twerp. So he figured out a bit of grappling? Who cares? He's resting easy on knowing one single move, which means Kyle only really needs to stop that one single thing. How easy you think that's gonna be for a guy who hyper-fixates?
Young: Um... well...
Janela: VERY easy, Renee. Every time that blonde puke stain has gotten an edge, its been by catching us off guard, which like I said, ain't that tough cause to this day, we don't expect much from him. We come back knowing what to watch for and boom, problem solved. He's all out stunts, we're all outta patience... it ain't hard to figure out how this one's gonna end.
Young: And I assume both you and Bayley are gonna be out there in his corner?
Joey takes another drag.
Janela: Well somebody's gotta make sure she doesn't screw it all up again, right?
When Renee doesn't answer, Joey smirks, tosses cigarette butt aside and heads off down the hall. Young just shakes her damn head at him as Royal Rumble rolls on!
The slow intro of "Teenage Nosferatu Pussy" blares throughout the arena as the lighting changes to shades of orange and red. Once the opening lyrics are heard, Jamie Hayter steps through the entrance curtain alongside Rhea Ripley and they are met with cheering and jeering from the crowd. Jamie stops on the stage, bends down, and then quickly leans backward while raising her arms showing off the glass covering her taped off fists. At the same time, Rhea stomps on the stage. This triggers the pyro, which shoots up through the stage. The camera zooms in on the two as the start sauntering down the entrance while talking shit to their opponents.
Tony Chimel: "Accompanied by Rhea Ripley... From Southampton, England... JAMIE HAYTER!!!"
Jamie and Rhea make it to ringside and stop. They eye the ring before climbing up onto the apron. They enters the ring and look to the crowd. Jamie cups her hand around her ear, similarly to Hulk Hogan, and the cheers only intensify. Her theme slowly fades out.
Red lights now focus on the stage as smoke billows from the entrance way. Out onto the stage walks The Mighty Caleb clad in armour and sporting a cape. He stands with his arms wide, his cape appearing like black wings against the red background of the stage. In one hand he holds a drinking horn which he holds aloft. As the glorious main riff kicks in Caleb drinks from the horn before raising it high in the air and yelling 'SKAL!'.
Tony Chimel: Introducing, hailing from The Northern Realms... weighing in at a mighty 235 pounds... the Television Champion, he is 'THE MIGHTY' CAAAALEB!
The Mighty Caleb then makes his march down towards the ring, he doesn't fist bumps members of the crowd like usual on account of the glass covering them. Caleb steps up onto the ring apron now and once again holds the horn aloft, pumping his fist as he does so to the rhythm of the crowd. Caleb then enters the ring and continues to pump his fist as he marches around, hyping himself up for the battle ahead.
DING DING DING
Mauro Ranallo: Ladies and gentlemen, if your children are still up, I'd advise you to put them to bed.
Corey Graves: What do you mean, the show just got started!
Tom Phillips: Hopefully parents have told their kids the show hasn't started yet because this is not for the weak of heart.
Corey Graves: Or anyone with any taste at all. This is some basement level trash pitched by and equally trash person. I'm surprised EC3 even greenlit the match.
Mauro Ranallo: Ethan loves to make money so he'll try anything once.
Both competitors are standing across from one another with their fists raised. You can see all the bits of broken glass around their hands and Jamie gives her hands a once over and smiles. She comes out of the corner which makes Caleb do the same. He stands in the middle of the ring and stays put, turning around with her as Hayter walks around him, looking for an opening. She goes for a few leg kicks at first but Caleb just fights through them, knowing he needs to worry about a much bigger problem. After a few kicks, he decides to go on the offensive. He takes a few swings but Hayter is quicker and is able to dodge them. She throws a jab and it catches Caleb off guard. He touches his face to check it but Jamie uses it to throw multiple strikes to his face and knocks him back into the corner. a few pieces of glass are stuck to him with some blood trickle and Jamie even looks surprised to see how quickly she was able to open him up.
Mauro Ranallo: With just a few strikes, blood has already been drawn and you can bet a lot more will be spilled by the time this match is over.
Corey Graves: Which hopefully won't be long.
Caleb comes out of the corner and this time goes right after Jamie. This time he doesn't go for strikes, instead he grabs her and traps both her arms under his armpits. He winces from the glass scrapping against his ribs but Headbutts her. She's dazed and so he Headbutts her again. Jamie is stuck with nowhere to go but she decides to rubs her hands back and forth on Caleb's sides and he yells out in pain and pulls away. He's got blood dripping down his side. He lifts up his arms to see and Jamie moves in to throw more strikes, this time doing all sorts of body shots. She backs him into the corner where she is pummeling him. She climbs to the middle rope and does the ol' 10 punch salute, the bloodthirsty crowd counting along with each hit.
Corey Graves: I thought Canadians were supposed to be polite? How can these scumbags be cheering for this?
Tom Phillips: Everyone likes to always count along.
Corey Graves: Yeah I forget how simple people are here up in in Toronto.
She pauses for the 10th punch, soaking in the crowd but it's a mistake as Caleb reaches up and Powerbombs her to the mat! Tired of being on the defensive, he picks up the Shieldmaiden by her hair and delivers one good shot straight to the forehead! Glass has pierced it's way into her skin but it doesn't look too bad. She isn't bleeding but Caleb decides to even the odds. She's seated in the middle of the ring and he stands behind her. He brings his fists onto the top of her head and just pushes the glass on his fist deep into her forehead. She's kicking her legs out screaming while Caleb yells out that she asked for this.
Mauro Ranallo: Ladies and gentlemen, be happy you're not here at ringside having to hear these screams.
Corey Graves: I don't like Jaime and even I can't bear to hear this.
Caleb lets up and she rolls to the outside of the ring. Now we can see blood coming down her face as she stumbles over to the barricade. Caleb comes out of the ring to get her but she ends up kneeing him in the gut and throwing him into the steel steps. She lifts up the ring apron and searches under it. She comes back up with a bin full of glue and a few more bottles of glass. She puts them in the ring before grabbing Caleb and tossing him inside. She grabs the glass bottle and goes to smash it across Caleb's head but he catches her hand with both hands kicks her in the gut. She shakes his head before smashing it over her head! She's dazed and Caleb lifts her into the air before delivering the Valhammer! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
But no! Hayter gets the shoulder up! Caleb looks surprised but she isn't ready to give up yet. He grabs her and brings her up to her feet but she suddenly burst up and gives him an uppercut to the jaw! Caleb falls back into the corner in a seated position. Jaime raises her fist and smiles, blood dripping down it. She licks it off and laughs as the crowd starts up a "You Sick Fuck" chant.
Tom Phillips: I think I'm gonna be sick...
Corey Graves: I've never agreed with a crowd more in my life!
Jaime is busy laughing when a light bulb goes off in her head. She grabs more bottles and starts breaking them on the mat. She ends up breaking about 8 of them before she sticks her boot in the glue bin. She then steps into the glass and points at Caleb, She takes off across the ring and boots him right in the face! Caleb nearly falls out of the ring, his upper body hanging over the bottom rope to the outside. The cameraman on the outside runs up and zooms in on a mixture of glass, glue and blood smeared across his face where he was kicked!
Mauro Ranallo: Ok I think we seriously need to think about just calling the match off.
Jaime walks back over to the bin and grabs some more glue. She's dousing her bicep in it and then walks over to the glass and scoops up glass in her hand and starts raining it down over her bicep. She's got evil intentions and does this a few more times to ensure the maximum amount of glass is on her, creating a pile underneath her. She walks over to the Television Champion and grabs him by the back of his trunks, pulling him up to his feet from behind. She brings him over to the pile of glass and reaches around to grab his arm. She spins him out with the ripcord, and winds up her arm covered in glass for the Hayterade but Caleb ducks it and uses her own momentum against her to scoop her up int his arms. Shes pummeling away at his back trying to get put down but he fights through the pain of the glass covered fists and gives her the Hel Rider on the glass pile! There's a look of pure shock on her face and body like when you jump into a cold water. He pins her shoulders to the mat while she's all tensed up.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, and STILL Television Champion, The Mighty Caleb!
Mauro Ranallo: Mercifully, it's over.
Corey Graves: Good, now pack her and her terrible ideas up! I never want to see that woman in that ring again!
Tom Phillips: Well she put up a hell of a fight and I think this match might have just further stoked that fire.
Rhea has come down and helps pull some of the glass out of Jaime's back. Caleb looks at them and walks over to Hayter and extends his hand. She reaches up and grabs his arm and he pulls her up. They stare each other down and nod before Caleb walks away the Television Championship as the show moves on.
The feed cuts to “Ravishing” Rick Rude storming out of a room that has the sign “Drawing Room” posted. In his hand he clutches the number he has drawn.
Bischoff: Well, it isn’t exactly what we would have wanted, but we can make it work!
Rude eyes Bischoff coldly.
Rude: You mean I can make it work?
Bischoff swallows hard, sensing Rude’s irritation. He pulls out his phone, types something out and puts his phone back in his pocket.
Bischoff: Of course, you will. You’ve already said you planned on breaking a few records tonight, that’s just what you’re going to do. Even if–
Bischoff is cut off as his eyes lock onto someone offscreen. The camera slowly pans over to show Kyle O’Reilley, Bayley, and Joey Janela. Bischoff throws up his hands in surprise as everyone turns to face each other.
Bischoff: Well, well, well…fancy meeting you guys here!
Bischoff holds up the nWo sign.
Bischoff: Ya know, just for old-times sake!
Bayley, Kyle, and Janela all eye Bischoff’s hand. Rude raises his hand to Bischoff’s then turns to give a glance to the remaining crew. Bayley returns the salute to Rude first and Bischoff. Kyle slowly begins to raise his hand as Janela holds him back at first. Bayley shoots Janela a fiery glance as Janela allows Kyle to follow suit. After a long pause, Janela returns the salute.
Rude: Well, if you’re getting ready to step in there to draw your number, I wish you better luck than I had.
Rude flashes his number for the group to see. Kyle and Bayley give a disappointed look as Janela smirks. Bayley places a hand on Rude’s shoulder to console him. Then, places another hand on his chest. Then, a hand travels down to his abs.
Bayley: Such a shame that we didn’t have more time to take your mind off of drawing that number.
Bayley shoots Rude a wink. Janela rolls his eyes. Bischoff looks awkwardly at Rude and then back at Kyle who has become distracted by the flashing logo of the Royal Rumble and its changing colors. Bayley elbows Kyle to get his attention.
Bayley: Don’t let it get you down too bad though, Rick. Keep in mind, we are getting the band back together for one night only!
???: What’s this we hear about a band getting back together?
There is a collective look of shock as each person assembled quickly turns to the direction that the familiar voice came from. As they all turn to look, each of their faces widen with big smiles. The camera zooms out just a bit to show two familiar faces.
Once again the hands go up for the signature salute.
Rude: What cesspit did you two crawl out of just to get here tonight?
Hall: Well, would you expect us to miss out on two of our boys’ and what could possibly be their victory starting the road to ‘Mania?
Nash: Besides, not to forget our boy Rick is just about to reclaim the title that he made famous!
Nash places his hands on Rudes shoulders and gives them a reaffirming squeeze. Bayley elbows Kyle once he’s become distracted with the logo once again.
Bischoff: Now, Bayley. I think you’re safe to say that line about putting the band back together, again!
???: AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! And what would a band be without their lead singer?
The look of pure shock applies to everyone’s faces yet again, As the camera has to zoom out, yet again, to show that familiar mystery voice.
Sweeney: That's right ladies and germs! Not even a crummy six-hour layover in Penscaola could stop ol' Larry Sweeney from being here in the cold, white north for a party like this! Aahahaa! Yeah mama! Good to be back with all the pals! And who's this number? She come with the catering?!?
Larry gets all close to Bayley. Rude steps between the two of them like hands off the goods, and Kyle steps between them again.
Sweeney: Kyle ol' buddy ol' pal! How the hell ya been?!?!
KO'R: That's Bayley. She's my step-sister.
Sweeney: Step-sister, huh?
Larry peers over all the shoulders between him and The "Good Guy", getting a closer look before he shakes his head.
Sweeney: Can't say I see any family resemblance, but I'm sure she's chock fulla that Irish-Canknucklehead charm you've always been famous for. Say, where's the cigars anyway, huh?
Before he can get an answer or Kyle can get an explanation as to why this guy hasn't been answering his calls, Scott chimes in.
Hall: Whoah, I don’t mean to cut you boys short, but I think we forgot something, here.
Hall points to the camera as the feed switches to this familiar logo.
Nash: Ah, ya never forget your first time!
Bayley: I still feel like you guys are missing a couple–
They all cut her off with a collective “WHOAH!”
Rude: Sorry, sweetheart…some things are better left alone. I really don’t think Mr. Carter would appreciate anyone invoking those names, tonight.
Bischoff: So, let’s get down to business shall we? Two of our members are in the Rumble match. Rude is about to head out there and reclaim that title. Kyle is about to head out there and wipe the floor with Breeze. With Rick and Kyle on the same page here, I have no doubt that they will be the final two in this match, at that point…may the best man win. Gah, it feels great to have us all back together again. It will feel even better to have another PPV dedicated to the nWo sweeping the board, won’t it? You know what it will feel like? It will feel just…too….
At once, all of the hands go up for the nWo salute.
All: SWEEEEEEEEET!
The feed cuts out and Royal Rumble continues elsewhere.
The live cameras cut backstage where we see the Number 30 entrant in the Royal Rumble standing by.
LA Knight
The Royal Rumble. Tonight, 30 men will go out to that ring looking to make a name for themselves. 30 men, L...A....Knight included want their names etched in the annals of history. 30 men want to move on to the big stage and get the golden opportunity at WrestleMania. Now if you listen to all these men, they'll tell you a million ways from Sunday how they're going to be the last man standing when everything is said and done. L...A....Knight is even guilty of it. But there's one major difference between L...A....Knight and those other 29 men. 'Ya know what that difference is?
Those other 29 men, they want this. L...A....Knight; he NEEDS this. L...A....Knight needs to win this match as much as L...A.....Knight needs air to breathe or food to eat. Look at the landscape around here. The Roman Reigns and the Kyle O'Reillys and the Vinny Marselgias of the world have had their shots. Hell, Eddie Guerrero had his shot. The Tyler Breezes and the Rick Rudes are gonna get their shot eventually. There's no guarantee that L...A....Knight gets his shot. Not unless he wins this match. A win takes all the other factors out of play and guarantees L...A....Knight the one thing he's been working his ass off for. So tonight, we play for keeps. Everything gets left out in that ring. And L...A.....Knight will go to hell and back to get his hand raised when it's all said and done.
L...A....Knight has waited a year for this moment. This is redemption. This is L...A....Knight correcting a year's worth of mistakes. All the ups and downs; all the countless television shows and Pay-Per-Views where L...A....Knight was looking up at the lights and someone else got to bask in the glory, it all led to this. And truth be told, when tonight ends, L...A....Knight wouldn't change any of it for the world. L...A....Knight has been knocked down countless times, but he always gets back up. But there is no knocking L...A....Knight down tonight. It doesn't matter how many men are left by the time L...A....Knight gets to that ring; they're all on borrowed time. The only thing L...A....Knight hopes and prays is that Orange Cassidy is still there. So that L...A....Knight can show him once and for all who the real "Loser" is.
Let L...A....Knight make one final thing clear. It doesn't matter who the Champion is after tonight. It could be McIntyre. It could be Marselgia. It could be Ethan himself. L...A....Knight doesn't care. Whoever it is, L...A....Knight recommends 'ya start counting 'ya days. WrestleMania will be here before 'ya know. And that night is going to end the same way tonight will. With Tony Chimel saying "The winner...L....A....Knight! And that's not an insult; THAT'S just a fact of life! YEAH!
And with that, Knght saunters off and the Royal Rumble moves on.
The Revolution graphic switches to some establishing shots of the Big Smoke.
We are then taken backstage at the Rogers Centre where the UWF Champion of the Intercontinents is sitting by.
Orange Cassidy: Did you know they call jeans and a denim jacket the "Canadian tuxedo"? I didn't, but I learned that today while I was out and about on the streets of Toronto. Of all of the cities in the Intercontinents, this might be one of my favourite. There's so many very different people and so many very different foods and places. It's like a snapshot of all of my loyal subjects in a single place. It's kind of beautiful, and it speaks to the great taste of the Canadian people. Just like how my choice of attire is commonly associated with the people of this nation, another dub for it.
Cassidy smiles as he leans forward, looking down the barrel of the camera.
See, Orange Cassidy is a man of the people. I live to make them happy. My victories are their victories, and we celebrate our losses together, also. Which is why I still have so many fans – because I've had vanishingly few true Ls. And tonight, the L'il Oranges and the Orange Crush are going to be celebrating not one victory, but two. Because not only am I going to put down Dick Dude and put an end to his designs for my intercontinents, but then I am going to enter the Royal Rumble and outlast 29 other men on my way to a date with 265 pounds of pure Scottish destiny. And if you think Drew McIntyre will survive a collision with "Freshly Squeezed," think again. Fewer men than can be counted on one hand hold wins over him already, and I'm one of them.
Orange's tone projects pure confidence. He believes in the things he's saying.
The life-affirming power of Vitamin C is what brought me to this point, but this is just the beginning of the Orange Era. Tonight I defend the Championship of the Intercontinents and win the right to challenge for the UWF Championship as well, and when I defeat Drew McIntyre at the Grandest Stage, I become dual Champion of the UWF and all the Intercontinents. Then and only then will my true goal be achieved.
With his mission statement declared, Orange rolls out of the shot. The feed moves along.
The titantron switches from the Royal Rumble graphic to a live feed from backstage. Kyle O'Reilly is shown walking down the hall while taping his wrists up. Dude looks focused as the Moonraker laser ahead of his Submission Match coming up. Somebody's calling after him, though, throwing him off his game. He stops in his tracks to see what the fuss is about and Renee Young meets up with him.
Young: Hey, Kyle, sorry. I just... uh... well, I tried to get a few questions with Joey Janela earlier and honestly? I... do you have time to offer a bit of a better idea of where you're at mentally going into this massive final confrontation with Tyler Breeze?
Kyle rolls his eyes like he's got way better things to do than this but gives Renee the time of day anyway cause you don't say "no" to Renee Young, sucka.
KO'R: You wanna know what's up? Oh I'll tell ya what's up. What's up is -
Before he can finish, the feed on the big screen gets cut off with another video.
Several shots of Tyler Breeze in his natural element, modeling for the camera, are shown as Tyler voices over.
Tyler Breeze: Who is… Tyler Breeze? Is he all man, is he all model. Perhaps he is all that, and more.
Tyler Breeze doing his super serious narrator voice over his own images transitions to Tyler Breeze brushing his best and speaking as if someone just asked him a question beforehand.
Tyler Breeze: A lot of people assume that just because I’m super good looking, extremely talented, and super good looking that I’m somehow better than everyone. And while that may be true, who am I to say, I’m still just an everyday guy like…um…like all….ugh…
Breeze looks like he’s dry heaving at the words he’s trying to get out, the look of disgust on his face almost weird considering this is a recording so This was the best take possible.
ahem…Like all of you. I put on my designer, rare and custom chinchilla fur boots on one foot at a time just like all of you. People like Kenny would like to twist you to his side with his “wrestling” “Knowledge”. But nobody gives Tyler Breeze a chance to show his “knowledge”.
Breeze seems to like doing the air quotes so he even does it for himself, as an interviewer off screen speaks up.
Interviewer: So Tyler, what Were some of your influences in wrestling?
Tyler Breeze: Oh that’s easy, I mean there’s people like.
Tyler looks down at his phone, reading names written down seemingly.
Shawn Michaels is a real hero of mine ya know…Sting, he’d be another person who’s a hero. All the matches he’s had over the years. I’ve never seen any at all but the fact that he’s out there doing it, I respect that. Fact is, it doesn’t matter if people can relate to me or not. There’s a reason Tyler Breeze is on the cover of magazines and headlining runways all over the world, and that’s so people like Kenny can look at me and think about how good looking I am instead of how ugly their lives are. At The Royal Rumble, I show Kenny why he should accept my dashing distractions for what they are instead of trying to prove something at my expense. Because who is Tyler Breeze? He’s better than Kenny O’Desperation in every imaginable way, and when he submits in the middle of the ring it will be him admitting that for all the world to see. All of you watching, his friends and family at ringside, even his fugly masked hubby. They will all be watching him admit to them that I'm better than he will ever be, But a personal message straight to you Kenny, if you’re watching this.
Tyler stares straight into the camera that is zooming in, saying “if you’re watching’ as if he didn’t pay to have this promotional video interrupt Kyles set time on the show.
Don’t think too much about it, because even though the world will see you submit and lose to me…They’ll be far too busy staring at my Gorgeousness to pay too much attention to the single most embarrassing moment of your entire life. That’s my parting gift to you.
The promotional video ends as it cuts back to Kyle staring at Renee, jaw dropped.
Young: Well that was rude...
KO'R: You wanna see rude? Just wait till you see what I do to this frigging guy. Its over. He's done. I'm gonna mutilize him for good.
Before Renee can point out that that isn't a word, O'Reilly storms off down the hall. She signs off and Royal Rumble rolls on!
Corey Graves: Are you guys ready? Because up next is the match I've been looking forward to most this evening. We will finally an Intercontinental Champion we can be proud of in mere moments.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UWF Intercontinental Championship. Introudcing first...
OWWW, SIMPLY RAVISHING!
The theme music begins to blare throughout the arena as there is a mixed reaction from the crowd. Eric Bischoff slinks out onto the entrance ramp through the pyro taunting the fans.
Bischoff turns back to the curtain and begins bowing over and over again before “Ravishing” Rick Rude walks out onto the stage.
Rick Rude and Eric Bischoff begin making their way down the ramp.
Tony Chimel: From Robbinsdale, Minnesota. Weighing in at 252 pounds, “Ravishing” Rick Rude!
Bishoff is the first up the steps at ringside and sits on the second rope for Rude as Rude steps into the ring. Rude looks out amongst the crowd for a second before requesting a microphone.
Rude: Cut my music!
Once the music dies down Rude continues.
Rude: What I’d like to have right now…is for all of you fat, out of shape, <insert derogatory comment here> to keep the noise down while I take off my robe and show all of these ladies what a real sexy man is supposed to look like! Hit my music!
Bump N' Grind continues to play as Rude begins to disrobe.
As the robe comes off, the camera zooms in to show that Rude is wearing tights that have Orange Cassidy’s face directly on the crotch. As Rude turns around, we see there is an airbrushed orange on each cheek of the rear of the tights.
Tony Chimel: And his opponent...
As the riff kicks in to Jefferson Starship's "Jane," the man known only as "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy emerges from the back to an uproarious pop from the crowd. Sporting his aviators and his magnificently coiffed hair, Cassidy walks coolly down to the ring, hands in his pockets. He doesn't seem to be in a hurry, and as he reaches the end of the ramp, he pauses to offer a weak fist bump to a fan holding a thumb's up out over the barricade.
Tony Chimel: From... wherever... and weighing in at... whatever... he is the reigning and defending UWF Intercontinental Champion, "Freshly Squeezed," Orange CASSIDY!
Cassidy then heads up the ring steps lazily and eases himself between top and middle ropes, before moving to the middle of the ring and throwing up a half-enthusiastic thumbs up to a pop from the crowd. OC heads to the corner and lounges there as he removes his aviators and awaits the beginning of the contest.
DING
DING
DING
The bell sounds and our Intercontinental Championship match is underway On one side of the ring stands the Challenger, Rick Rude. Rude is nothing but confident as Eric Bischoff gives him some words of advice. On the other side, the Champion, Orange Cassidy stands unbothered. They meet in the center and Eude quickly goes for a single leg takedown. Cassidy is ready for it and side steps it. Rude can only smirk as he quickly goes for another takedown. Again, Cassidy avoids it. This time, Rude is visibly irritated. With that being the case, Rude abandons his initial plan and stands up. This time, he approaches Cassidy and wants a test of strength. Rude puts his arm out and Cassidy obliges. The Champion surprises the Challenger and gets the upper hand, forcing Rude down to a knee. Whether this is legit or a ploy, we’ll never know as Rude quickly catches the Champion with a boot to the stomach. This doubles Cassidy over and Rude applies a standing side headlock. As the Challenger clenches a strong and firm grip, the Champion backs both men onto the near ropes and shoots Rude off, breaking the hold in the process. As Rude runs the ropes, Cassidy looks for a leaping dropkick. But what he’s unaware of is the fact that Rick Rude held onto the opposite ropes. So Cassidy lept and did nothing but land flat on his back. Rude takes advantage of this and goes for the first cover of this CHampionship bout…
1…
2…
Cassidy kicks out!
After the kick out, Rude tries to stay on the attack. He grabs Cassidy by the head and lifts him to a knee. Cassidy tries to fight from underneath, throwing right hands into Rude’s midsection. This causes a little bit of separation and Cassidy tries to get to his feet and gain some momentum. He looks to run the ropes, but Rude manages to grab some of the Champion’s hair and slams him back onto the canvas. As Cassidy grabs his skull, Rude goes for another cover…
1…
Cassidy kicks out!
Rude looks at the official, irritated with the count. The referee also admonishes Rude for grabbing the hair. Rude takes a second to get in the official’s face, telling him to count faster. This little back and forth gives Orange Cassidy enough time to grab Rude from behind and roll him up…
1…
2…
Rude kicks out!
Corey Graves: It looked like Orange Cassidy was about to steal one!
Both men manage to get to their feet at the same time. Rude looks for a clothesline, but Cassidy ducks under. Both men keep running and as they come back to one another, Rude is able to almost decapitate the Champion with a big boot to the head. Cassidy goes down and Rude goes for another cover…
1…
2…
Cassidy kicks out!
After kicking out this time, the Champion rolls underneath the bottom rope and to the floor. He needs a moment to shake the cobwebs off. Rude sees this and goes right after the Champion. The Ravishing One attempts to sneak up on the Champion from behind. He does, and takes Cassidy out with a clothesline to the back of the head. Cassidy goes back down again.
Mauro Ranallo: And the Champion has not been able to get out of the box here.
With the Champion down, Rude gets this huge smirk on his face. He looks around and sees the steel ring steps. Then he begins to put his plan in motion. He lifts Cassidy to his feet and Irish Whips him towards said steps. But Cassidy is ready for this and counters, sending Rude crashing into the steps instead. You can hear the impact as the Challenger collides with the steel.
Tom Phillips: For the first time this match, Orange Cassidy has an opening!
Rude struggles to get himself back to a vertical base. He uses the barricade to get back up. What he doesn’t see is that Cassidy is on the prowl. Cassidy sneaks up behind Rude and hoists the Challenger off his feet and drops him groin first onto the barricade.
Mauro Ranallo: Not a greay way to spend a Sunday evening.
You can see the pain written all over Rude’s face. Cassidy wastes no time following up, delivering a standing dropkick that sends Rude off the barricade and back onto the floor. The Toronto crowd eats this up with a huge amount of cheers as Cassid stands tall, The Champion of the Intercontinents responds with a Thumbs Up. Back in the ring, the referee’s count has reached 6 so Cassidy rolls back in and out to restart the count. As he gets back outside, Rude is starting to get up and as he does, Cassidy quickly performs a snap suplex onto the floor. Rude groans as his back hits the floor. Cassidy wastes no time grabbing his challenger by the hair and rolling him back into the ring. Cassidy follows suit and quickly goes for a cover…
1…
2…
Rude kicks out!
After barely rolling a shoulder, Rude rolls over to the far corner, trying to create some space. Cassidy is right behind him. As Rude uses the ropes to pull himself up in the corner, Cassidy charges at him. Rude sees this voming and lowers his shoulder, sending Cassidy up in the air and flying over the ropes. Luckily fot the Champion, he lands on the apron. Rude turns around just in time to see Cassidy catch him off guard with a step up enziguiri. This staggers the Challenger and allows Cassidy to scale to the top rope. Once he’s ready, The Champion leaps off the top rope, looking for a Crossbody. Rude is able to counter though, catching Cassidy in midair…
Corey Graves: Look at the power of our soon to be Intercontinental Champion!
Wuth Cassidy in tow, Rude tosses him backwards, hitting a impactful Fall-A-Way Slam. The ring shakes with the impact and Rude crawls over to make a cover…
1…
2…
Cassidy kicks out!
Rude turns his attention back to the official. The Challenger holds up three fingers, signaling that was the end. The referee tells him otherwise. A frustrated Rude dismisses this and looks to go back on the attack. As Cassidy tries to get back up, The Challenger hoists him off his feet and hits a quickinverted atomic drop before following up with a short arm clothesline. The Champion goes down and Rude goes for another cover…
1…
2…
The Champion kicks out again!
Rude slaps the mat out of frustration.
Corey Graves: If you’re the challenger, you have to maintain your composure.
Tom Phillips: It’s easier said then done when you’re in the ring with a guy like Orange Cassidy. He’s never stays down.
Rude looks over to Bischoff, who motions for the Ravishing One to stay on the Champion. Rude looks to go back on the attack. As he reaches for Cassidy, the Champion hooks him with an inside cradle…
1…
2…
Rude kicks out!
Both men get to their feet at the same time. Rude goes for a strike but Cassidy ducks it. Cassidy uses the ropes and comes back at Rude with a beautiful Tilt-A-Whirl headscissors. This takes Rude down and forces him to roll out the ring again. As Rude tries to recover, Bischoff rushes over to check on him. The challenger’s manager helps him get to his feet and questions if everything is ok. Before Rude can answer though, here comes Cassidy darting across the ring and diving through the ropes, taking both Rude and Bischoff down with a suicide dive!
Mauro Ranallo: MAMA MIA! There are bodies everywhere!
Cassidy stands tall and again the crowd goes crazy for him. He grabs Rude by the hair and lifts him off the floor before rolling him back into the ring. Cassidy climbs onto the apron and tries to re-enter himself but Eric Bischoff grabs him by the leg, stopping him…
Tom Phillips: Look at this leech!
Corey Graves: That’s slander, Phillips! Eric Bischoff is a legendary wrestling personality!
Bischoff holds onto Cassidy’s leg for dear life. Eventually, the Champion of the Intercontinents kicks Bischoff away and re-enters the ring. But once he does, Rude is able to catch him in the stomach with a quick boot and spike him on the canvas with a DDT! The Champion’s head bounces off the mat and Rude floats him over and goes for another cover…
1…
2…
Cassidy kicks out at 2 ½
You can hear Rude mutter some obscentities under his breath. But he will not be deterred. He grans Cassidy by the neck before placing his head between his legs…
Corey Graves: Oh no! I don’t like what Rick Rude has in mind.
With Cassidy in position, Rude hoists the Champion up and drops him on his head with a piledriver.
Tom Phillips: Oh My God!
Cassidy’s body goes limp and you can hear Bischoff cheering from the outside again. Rude wastes no time rolling Orange over onto his back and goes for a cover again.
1…
Corey Graves: New Champion!
2…
3…NO! Orange Cassidy barely rolls a shoulder!
Tom Phillips: No way!
Rude cannot believe it! Neither can Bischoff! The challenger goes for another cover…
1…
2…
Again Cassidy rolls that shoulder!
Rude is livid! He gets in the official’s face again and Biscoff jumps back onto the apron. Both men belittle the referee and forcibly threaten him to count faster. Rude reminds the official that he is the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. The official will not back down and tells Bischoff to get off the apron before he gets ejected. Bischoff takes the threat to hert and backs down to the floor. Rude on the other hand, looks to bring this match home. He’s closing in on the Intercontinental Championship and he knows it. The Challenger looks to pick the scraps of the Champion but as he turns around, he is met with a leaping right hand from Orange Cassidy!
Tom Phillips: Orange Punch! He hit it!
Out of nowhere, Cassidy manages to drop Rude like a sack of potatoes. The Challenger’s lights go out and the weakened Champion can only fall on top of him for a cover…
1…
2…
Bischoff puts Rude’s leg off the bottom rope!
The Toronto crowd lets out a ton of boos as the count is waived off. Bischoff acts as if he didn’t do anything. Back inside the ring, the Champion has made his way back to his feet. Rude is still a little loopy and the crowd that was just booing is now trying to motivate their Champion. Cassidy looks out into the sea of people and slides underneath the bottom rope to the outside. He lifts the ring skirt and begins looking for something…
Corey Graves: What is this idiot doing? This isn’t a No Disqualification Match!
After looking for several moments, Cassidy finds what he’s looking for. It’s a cooler.
Tom Phillips: What?
Yes, that’s right, a cooler. Cassidy opens the cooler and inside is about half a dozen cartons of Orange Juice on ice. This cause the crowd to lose their minds even more. Cassidy grabs one of the slides back into the ring.
Corey Graves: You’ve got to be kidding me!
While standing in the center of the ring, Orange Cassidy opens the carton of OJ and begins chugging it to the delight of the fans!
Mauro Ranallo: The Champion of Vitamin C shows Toronto what he’s all about!
An irate Bischoff gets back onto the apron. He deamnds the referee does something about this. All the while, Cassidy continues to chug. Finally noticing Bischoff, the Champion of the Intercontinents finishes his pulp filled drink and walks over to Bischoff before spewing the juice all over Bischoff!
Tom Phillips: Orange Mist!
Corey Graves: That’s disgusting!
Bischoff falls off the apron both blinded and disgusted. The official tries to calm Bischoff down and he doesn’t see Rick Rude grab Orange Cassidy from behind and spin him around. Luckily, Cassidy was ready and mists Rude this time with Orange Juice!
Corey Graves: He got Rude too! Right in his perfect face!
The Ravishing One is blinded as is his manager. Rude tries to get the OJ out of his eyes and cannot see as Cassidy kicks him in the gut and puts his head between his legs. Cassidy leaves his feet and flips forward, spiking the top of Rude’s skull on the canvas with a Canadian Destoyer!
Mauro Ranallo: Oh My God!
The Champion quickly goes for a cover and the live crowd counts along…
1…
2…
3…NO! Rick Rude kicks out!
Now Cassidy is the one shocked! But unlike the challenger, he does not get frustrated. Instead, he simply gets to his feet and decides to head to the high rent district once more. As Cassidy scales to the top, Eric Bischoff decides to get involved yet again. Having cleared the OJ out of his eyes, Bischoff gets on the apron again and grabs Cassidy’s leg once more as he’s on the ropes…
Tom Phillips: Bischoff getting involved again!
This time, the official catches Bischoff with his hands in the cookie jar. Bischoff has a guilty look written across his face. The official has finally had enough and tells Bischoff that he’s out of here!
Corey Graves: No!
Bischoff is distraught. He drops off the apron and walks to the back, arguing the call the entire time. Back in the ring, Cassidy is still perched on the top rope, But all of these goings on have allowed Rude to recover and he comes out of nowhere and throws Cassidy off the top rope and to the mat. Cassidy bounces off the canvas and Rude wastes no time capitalzing. He rushes over and hooks Cassidy by the head as the Champion gets to his feet. Rude swivels his hips as the has Cassidy in position and drops him with the Rude Awakening!
Corey Graves: Rude Awakening! That’s it!
After taking Cassidy down with his finish, Rude shoots the half and goes for the win and the Intercontinental Championship…
1…
Tom Phillips: New Champion!
2…
3…NO! Orange Cassidy kicks out again!
Corey Graves: WHAT!!!!
Has anyone ever kicked out of the Rude Awakening?! Rick Rude can’t believe it! He’s getting in the referee’s face yet again! He’s practically demanding that the official admit it was a 3 count. The referee will not change his mind though. Rude looks like he’s about to explode. He once again says it was a 3 count and the referee once again says it wasn’t. A frustrated Rude leaves the official and jmups back on the Champion. Cassidy can barely stand. Rude marches over to the corner where the Freshly Squeezed one is trying to get to a vertical base and begins laying boots into Cassidy. An irate challenger continues putting his boots into the Champion’s chest. As the Champion is technically in the ropes, the official begins counting, threatening Rude with disqualification…
1...
2…
3…
4…
The offical pulls Rude off, again reminding him of disqualification. The challenger shoves the official out the way and goes back to laying the boots to the Champion. Once again, the referee starts counting…
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
The referee reaches 5 and a frustrated Rick Rude still hasn’t stopped. The official has no choice but to call for the bell.
DING
DING
DING
This doesn't stop Rude's assault though. He continues to beat down the Champion. More referees have to make their way down the ramp and try to pry Rude off. After a few more minutes, they are successful and Rude is escorted away from the ring. The referee that officiated the actual match makes his way over to Tony Chimel so he can make the announcement.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has informed me that Rick Rude has been disqualified. Therefore your winner via disqualification and STILL the UWF Intercontinental Champion, Orange Cassidy!
The official helps Cassidy to his feet and hands him his Championship. Orange gets his arm raised by the referee. You can see the frustration in his face though as he exits the ring and the Royal Rumble moves on.
Tyler Breezes modeling glamor shots are shown for the third time tonight, as Tylers voice is heard over top.
Tyler Breeze: Who is…Tyler Breeze? Or better yet, who could Tyler Breeze become? What does it take to become a champion? Determination…willingness to go the extra mile…No no the most important thing it takes to be a Champion, is being Gorgeous. Our champions today, they don’t look like Tyler Breeze. Not just because of how ridiculously good looking I am, but because the bar has been set low year after year. People worrying about In ring prowess, power, ability, when all these things can be obtained easily. Do you know what can’t get easily…This chiseled jaw molded by the gods themselves. I’m here to bring about an era beyond what you can imagine, an era of Gorgeousness that redefines what you all believe it is to be…Champion. The Fighting Champions are passé, the take on all comers champions are so last season. It’s time we have a champion we can all admire with just our eyes. And that era begins at Wrestlemania, when this Pretty Face becomes the Face of an entire industry.
The modeling montage ends to show Tyler Breeze talking directly into the camera he is holding out.
8 years ago I entered the Royal Rumble match in my first pay-per-view re-emergence. Unprepared but ready to make my grand dreams a reality, I eliminated legendary figures until a 3 on 1 assault eliminated me from the match. From there I went on to become Intercontinental champion, European Champion, the Greatest Technical Wrestler of All Time, and the most super good looking piece of gorgeousness that you will ever see…Actually that last one I was already, but still…It’s as true today as it was then. You would think accomplishing these things would take the focus…would alleviate the sting of that night. But for all these years all I can think about, is the Royal Rumble match. How Tyler Breeze wasn’t the favorite to win it, how Tyler Breeze was barely even mentioned prior to the match…but I forced my name into everyones lips, until I lost. Tyler Breeze is a winner…Tyler Breeze…IS the spotlight. So I’ve waited, I’ve gone back into modeling when I wasn’t getting the attention I deserved in this industry, I bided my time. For tonight, to return to the UWF and fix that one night. I’ve poked every bear, pushed every envelope, and crossed every line to get everybody's attention. The UWF Champion and his Number one Contender know who I am, I’m the man who has victories over each of them. And slowly I’ve manipulated the field, to cause a near riot at the end of Revolution. All in my grand dreams name, for tonight I outlast 29 other men. Men who you’d call Stronger, Better, More Deserving…I beat them all and go to Wrestlemania to become what none of you are even Ready to think of me as…UWF Champion. Who is Tyler Breeze? Tonight, Tyler Breeze is your Royal Rumble winner…Tomorrow Tyler Breeze is your future Champion, and in the future Tyler Breeze will be the Face of UWF.
Breeze closes his eyes and smirks at the thought of it, before he puckers his lips sending a kiss the cameras way.
Toodles.
The promotional video ends.
Backstage Renee Young is standing by for one of her trademark interviews.
Renee Young: Please welcome my guest at this time, the UWF Champion, Drew McIntyre.
Crowd boos can be heard in the background at the announcement of the name as Drew McIntyre appears and looks focussed on what is a big night for him.
Renee Young: Now Drew, as we all know you have a huge title defense tonight, but we have to start by asking what the condition of Stokely Hathaway is following what happened on Revolution?
Drew McIntyre: Well he’s in a better place now than he has been for the last month or so, put it that way. Unfortunately he’s still hospitalized and it’s taking time for the various wounds he suffered to heal, but the good news is that he is expected to make a full recovery and will be back in business before you know it.
Before another question can be asked, McIntyre signals that he would like the microphone. Renee is more than happy to oblige and hands it over before walking off frame, leaving the Scotsman alone in frame.
Drew McIntyre: Speaking of business, this title match tonight never really got the chance to become that type of affair. Because before anything was even announced Vinny Marseglia chose to make it a personal matter by targeting me in a way that would not leave me physically incapacitated, but would instead get under my skin and slowly break me down mentally to the point where he’d be able to comfortably best me tonight, but take his sweet time doing so. I won’t lie… On the inside I am hurt… hurt and disappointed in myself for not being able to prevent a poisonous cancer from creeping in and finding a way to push the buttons that had the potential to destroy everything I’ve managed to build up to this point. When it comes to what happened to Stokely Hathaway, I know that I could have done more and should have done better, and I’m truly sorry that I wasn’t able to stop what happened to him for all those weeks. But his physical wounds are healing, and my mental ones are not fatal, meaning that all Vinny really managed to do was mess up big time!
There’s some venom in the champ’s words for sure, but he keeps a cool head as he continues to lay into his title challenger.
Drew McIntyre: You think Vinny that because you don’t ever do anything by the book it makes you damn near untouchable and always in control of the situation. But if you were really in control of me then you would have been smart enough to ensure that I was unable to walk into this building tonight, because me being glued to a damn wheelchair is probably the only thing that could physically stop me from unleashing the unearthly raw brute force that awaits you out there in that ring. For all you’ve tried to be conniving and clever, what you have failed to grasp throughout all of this is something that Stokely has reiterated to others before, and that is that I exist in this current position to help maintain natural order and keep the perfect flow of things going for the entire professional wrestling industry. In simplistic terms, for as long as there is air in my lungs, strength in my body and a heart of solid steel powering me forward, there will never be a second reign at the top of the UWF for the Horror King. Meaning that if you really want to get yourself another run with the gold Vinny, you’re gonna have to find a way to kill something that up till now has shown itself to be unkillable.
McIntyre has Marseglia on his mind for sure, but that’s not all that he’s got locked up in there at present.
Drew McIntyre: And let those last words also go out to the thirty fools that are vying for their own shot at eternal glory tonight. Don’t think that me having more pressing matters to attend to recently hasn’t left me blind to all else that’s currently moving, especially after the mess you all made last week at the end of Revolution… You may think that winning the Royal Rumble is guaranteed to elevate you to levels beyond your wildest dreams, but that’s only applicable when you’re up against the kind of champion at Wrestlemania that pales in comparison to the one that you currently see standing before you. So my one message to the last one standing out there is simply congratulations on the monumental achievement, and commiserations that it’s all going to end up being for nothing!
The UWF Champion drops the microphone on the ground and walks out of frame with the feed then cutting to black.
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is a Submission match! Introducing first…
The lights in the arena go down turning a dark blue, after a few seconds a spotlight hits the stage shining on Alexa Bliss standing center stage.
Alexa Bliss: Ladies and Gentleman, Tyler Breeze is entering the building.
The three time MTV Euro Award winning music video begins to play on the titantron, as the sounds of camera flashes fill the arena. We get a shot of the infamous, and still so totally in, furry boots strutting across the stage before they line up. Once the theme hits Breeze does a perfect turn to the crowd with one of his signature looks, allowing them a gaze upon him for a few moments before his attention is turned to the phone in his hand as he stares at his image on his phone. Breeze cocks an eyebrow and points at his forhead, to which Bliss immediately uses her metal hand accessory as a comb to brush the hair into place for him. As this happens, behind Breeze and Bliss lumbers out the Colossal Omos, hidden in the shadow of Breezes spotlight so seeming like a giant shadowy figure behind the Gorgeous one. Breeze begins to walk down to the ring with Bliss keeping up and Omos following behind him.
Tony Chimel: Weighing at 204 pounds, from his Seasonal Residence in Monte Carlo, Monaco: Tyler Breeze!
Tyler struts down to the bottom of the stage and pauses, looking around at his 'adoring' fans. As he pauses Bliss continues walking around the ring. Breeze follows her around as Omos walks the opposite side and to the steel steps. Bliss jumps up on the ring apron and stands there as Breeze arrives, Bliss holds onto the ropes and twirls her legs back through the ropes, at the same time Breeze leans against the ring apron and spins his feet beneath the bottom rope to twirl to his side on the ring apron as Bliss lands in the ring twisting herself all the way in before she steps up on the bottom rope and leans over the top posing as Breeze relaxes on the ring apron staring at his phone. Behind them walks up Omos who is so giant he merely stands behind Alexa who is standing on the bottom rope and is still towering over them with his arms crossed. Bliss bounces herself off the bottom rope and Breeze rolls into the ring. Omos steps over the top rope and to the ring apron as Breeze walks the ring and turns to the hard camera just in time to mouth along with his song the line this is perfection "Personified". Once done he backs up into the corner and stays lovingly staring at his phone, as he kicks his feet up in the air and lays across the ropes like a hammock. Breeze gets off the ropes continually staring into his phone, Bliss snaps her fingers and Omos reaches over to delicately take Breezes designer vest off of him and step off the ring apron as Bliss gets hold of the phone in Breezes hand, holding it in place so Breeze can still keep looking at himself before Breeze simply turns to his opponent and Bliss immediately puts the phone away and steps out of the ring.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent…
A lone synthetetic violin whispers through the air like a pterodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entrance way. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out on to the ramp, fists and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day while his step-sister Bayley and best friend Joey Janela follow close behind. He does some shadow boxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by Bayley and Joey Janela, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... the winner of 2023 King of the Ring Tournament, Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's pace is in lock-step with the groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred his title belt like a guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight. Bayley and Joey, meanwhile, lurks and lingers on the fringe of the apron ready to fight dirty if it comes to that.
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, Kyle charges Tyler and takes him down with a Lou Thesz Press, firing down with alternating fists on the beautiful face of his opponent who, luckily for him, is smart enough and quick enough to cover up so that said face isn’t taking the brunt of the vicious strikes. Kyle sees this and reluctantly relents, getting up and creating some distance but as soon as Tyler starts to a vertical base, Kyle tackles him back to the mat, pushing on Breeze’s chin to force his head to the right and down as he cocks back his free fist and gets ready to rain down fury but Tyler is able to block the strike, then brings his leg up, the toe of his boot connecting with the upper back of the, “Diabetic Dragon”. Kyle stands up in response to this and flexes and cries out like he’s powering up, obviously angered by the kick, as Tyler rolls backward onto his feet, going for a Lariat once he gets there but Kyle ducks as well as drives a knee into the stomach of his opponent, hooking both arms and delivering a Double-Arm DDT, making sure to land so that Tyler’s face takes the damage instead of the top of his head.
O’Reilly instinctively rolls Tyler over and hooks the leg but there’s no pin falls in a Submission match, brother! As the referee clears that up with Kyle, Breeze rolls away and collects himself in the corner, Alexa climbing up onto the apron with a mirror shown towards Breeze who’s frantically checking out the damage to his glorious face. As the referee steps away, Kyle charges Tyler but he moves and Kyle hits the corner chest first. Alexa smashes the mirror over the back of Kyle’s head now, expertly done out of the referee’s sight, as Tyler now grabs the back of KOR’s head and starts driving his face repeatedly into the top turnbuckle pad. After three, Breeze pulls Kyle back to do it a fourth time but Kyle throws his arm backward and up, catching Breeze in the throat with the point of his elbow.
Tom Phillips: Oh my! Kyle may have just made sauce out of poor Tyler’s Adam’s apple!
As Tyler clutches his throat and coughs, he backs away from Kyle, who grabs a fistful of Breeze’s hair so he can’t get far and pulls him towards him, nearly taking his head off with a Short Arm Clothesline. Kyle kicks Tyler in the ribs and then delivers a stomp, the crowd cheering as Kyle quickly looks to each side at them. They know what they want, mama! Kyle starts stomping the body of his opponent as he circles him, giving them exactly what they want.
Mauro Ranallo: Mamma Mia! The Sweeney Stomp!
Bayley and Joey are applauding this as Kyle stops at Breeze’s head, putting some extra oomph on the stomp he delivers there as Tyler holds his head and rolls onto his side, O’Reilly delivering a kick to the spine before turning Tyler onto his back again and beginning another Sweeney Stomp! As he gets to the legs though, Tyler hooks Kyle’s non-stomping leg with his own legs and twists, putting Kyle flat on his face. Breeze scrambles to a vertical base now and walks over to Kyle, sitting on his lower back while simultaneously grabbing his chin and trapping his arms, expertly applying a Camel Clutch as he wrenches back on it as much as he can as the fans boo.
Corey Graves: Well they might not like it but submission is the only way to win and Tyler knows that!
Janela angrily gets up on the apron and goes to enter the ring but he’s reprimanded by the official. As the two argue, Bayley enters on the other side of the ring and grabs Tyler, pulling him out of the hold and throwing him to the mat before returning to the outside of the ring. Joey hops down from the apron now as the referee returns his attention to what’s happening inside the squared circle. Kyle has a hand on his lower back as he gets up from the mat, but shakes it off as he approaches Breeze who kips up and backhands him, causing Kyle to turn so that his back is facing Tyler as Tyler runs up and slaps on a Full Nelson.
Tom Phillips: Are we getting an impromptu Adonis Lock Challenge?
Mauro Ranallo: Don’t be silly, Tom. You can’t have an Adonis Lock Challenge without the man himself.
Corey Graves: Well from where I’m sitting, Mauro, Tyler’s got it cinched in tight whether it’s his signature move or not so he’s the man!
Kyle struggles in the hold as he turns red, agony on his face as he tries to get his arms free any way that he can. Just when it appears he’s out of gas, he raises his foot and stomps on Tyler’s as hard as he can, forcing a loosening of the hold as he slips down out of it, and then pops back up to his feet, the top of his head connecting with the jaw of, “Prince Pretty” as Breeze staggers backward into the ropes. As Breeze stops himself on the ropes, KOR is coming in hot as he throws himself into the air horizontally with a Cross Body that sends both men through the ropes and crashing and burning on the outside floor, Breeze folding up like a lawn chair and landing awkwardly as the fans start chanting, “Holy shit!” regarding the move and the landing.
Tom Phillips: Oh my! Tyler Breeze may have broken his neck!
O’Reilly gets to his feet, having no mercy on the prone Breeze as he grabs him by the leg and swings him into the nearest ring post. Kyle is fired up as he stays on his opponent, climbing into the mount and throwing punches directly down into the head, an assault that Tyler is too out of it to defend against this time.
Mauro Ranallo: Mamma Mia, Kyle’s not holding back at all on those punches!
After several connect, a spot of blood appears, signifying that Kyle’s knuckles have broken flesh. Kyle smiles at this and then lunges forward at the wound.
Corey Graves: Kyle’s biting Breeze! What a maniac!
Corey is correct as Kyle is literally chewing at the wound, blood spurting from it like he bit into a Gusher. O’Reilly backs away now, looking like a vampire after a feast, as Breeze has blood running down his face. Tyler sits up as Kyle goes for a kick but Breeze moves his head to avoid it and punches his opponent right in the groin. Kyle reacts accordingly, clutching at his damaged jewels with agony etched on his face as many of the fans audibly and visually wince with him. As Kyle slinks to his knees, Tyler leads him over to the ring post and positions his head there, then leaps up and connects with a Beauty Shot!
Tom Phillips: Well it might be called the Beauty Shot, but there was nothing beautiful about it!
Mauro Ranallo: I would have to agree.
Corey Graves: Somebody needs to check that ring post for a fragment of Kyle’s skull or a piece of his brain!
As O’Reilly falls lifelessly towards the floor, Breeze hooks his head and adds impact to the fall by turning it into a DDT. Tyler kips up now and brushes his hair out of his face, looking menacingly at Kyle who is trying to get up to his feet. Once Kyle is up, Breeze connects flush with a Supermodel Kick to the jaw, sending Kyle staggering into the ring post as Breeze goes for another Beauty Shot but O’Reilly falls to the ground, an inch from getting hit, and Tyler hits nothing but post.
Breeze cries out holding his legs as Kyle uses the ring apron to climb back to a vertical base and re-enter the ring. Tyler sees Kyle back in the ring and gets up to his feet, re-entering the ring himself as the two have a bit of a face-off, circling each other. As the two circle each other, suddenly Tyler fires off a Supermodel Kick, connecting flush with the jaw again before slipping behind Kyle and slapping on the Cross-Visage!
Tom Phillips: Cross-Visage! This could be over!
Tyler leaps up now, locking his legs around the waist of his opponent as they both fall to the mat. Kyle is visibly and audibly in a great amount of pain as Breeze is really has things in deep. Janela and Bayley look to get involved but Bliss and Omos stop them as in the ring, the, “Human Swiss Army Knife” has no choice but to submit.
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Tyler Breeze!
Tom Phillips: Well there’s certainly no shame in submitting here, Tyler Breeze is a tough opponent.
Mauro Ranallo: That and they have to preserve themselves as best as they can for the Rumble match.
Corey Graves: What a feud between these tandems we’ve seen!
As Kyle is looking defeated with Bayley and Joey, Tyler and the Breezetourage head up the ramp as Royal Rumble continues elsewhere.
The scene opens up on Vinny Marseglia standing in an area of the backstage, his back against the wall as he looks down at the floor, a smirk on his face.
Vinny Marseglia: Oh what fun it’s been toying with your head these past several weeks, Drew. It’s almost a pity to see it come to an end, but all things in this life are finite and inevitably will and must come to that end. After me? Well, who knows where you’ll go. But after you? My path is just about completely clear. It’s the grand stage of Wrestlemania and my defense of the UWF Championship, but who is going to be standing across from me trying to take that title? Tonight I’ll get that answer. But I’m not going to spend much time talking about the future Royal Rumble winner because I don’t want you thinking I’m looking past you. On the contrary, I’m practically salivating about our encounter because you have sins to pay for and I have wrongs to right. Not to mention the love of the hunt, know what I mean?
See, man, right now is when you need to drop all the preconceived notions that you have about slaying me like I’m a dragon and you’re some kind of white knight because if you bring them to the ring, I’m going to take the narrative you’re projecting to tug at the heartstrings of those not jeering you and take the UWF Championship while your head is in the clouds. I don’t want that, Drew. I want you completely on your game but ultimately, whatever mindset you show up in, to yours truly will go the spoils of victory. You talk about having time in the sun, well you’ve had yours. Tonight I eclipse you. And as I pick you apart, you will fear me. And if I leave anything left of you, you will revere me. And you will bow down, to your, “Horror King”.
Vinny steps away from the wall and walks offscreen as Royal Rumble continues elsewhere.
The titantron would cut to Ciampa sitting backstage in his usual area, he would be looking at the ground with his fingers in a pyramid as if he was deep in thought, still looking at the ground he would begin to talk.
Ciampa: You know the Royal Rumble means a lot of things to a lot of people. To some it means a bigger pay check. To some it means showing that you are the endurance machine of this company and that you can go the longest. To some its a guaranteed shot at immortality at the biggest show in our industry, one that has seen legends of tomorrow be born and legends of the past have their final moments.
Ciampa sighs and looks at the camera.
Ciampa: For me however, the Rumble is a promise. A promise that has been almost a full calendar year in the making. You see at Wrestlemania, I lost to Sami Zayn and with that my UWF career was over. An almost over two year tear done in the space of three seconds. All because I was off my game that night, all because I trusted the wrong person and allowed them to change me, all because I decided to do it for the people in the crowd and not for myself.
Ciampa leans back in his chair shaking his head.
Ciampa: I made a promise that night that if I were to ever make it back to the UWF, if I were to ever get back to the promised land in wrestling that this company is, I would not do anything apart from give it my all 100% of the time. Sure I came back with Samoa Joe but that wasn’t for me that was again for someone else. I had to make sure that when I came back properly that it was for me and this time it is.
Ciampa would lean forward looking directly into the camera.
Ciampa: When EC3 offered me to come back I knew it was a chance to redeem myself, not in the eyes of those fickle fans who just six months ago were cheering my name, not for a roster who since I have returned have gave zero the respect that should be given to a man like me. I started off that redemption by beating Sami Zayn on Revolution 200, my first Revolution back. I beat a rising star in Swerve because he needed to learn how things worked around here and I taught him that.
Ciampa chuckles at these memories
Ciampa: In the end however, those two mean nothing because they aren’t the big prize. They were just set up. My road to redemption starts tonight when I enter the Royal Rumble, I don’t care what number it is, I don’t care who is in the ring with me at the time all I know is i’m winning this Rumble tonight because I made that promise to myself and I don’t care if the fans hate me. I don’t care if my fellow wrestlers hate me. All I care about is myself because people, I came close to that Brass Ring before and let me tell you, I let it slip through my fingers but this time: Goldie is coming home to Daddy and my reunion with her starts tonight and then I don’t care if I need to go through Vinny or Drew to get her back, she’s coming home.
With that Ciampa gets up from his seat and drags it off.
Tense music begins to play over the PA system as the retractable roof of the Rogers Centre begins to open, opening the arena to the night air for the first time this evening as the fans buzz with anticipation for what must be coming next.
As the capacity UWF crowd awaits what’s next, suddenly the lights go out. After a moment of silence, a familiar voice is heard over the PA system.
"REVERE ME.
FEAR ME."
As soon as these words are spoken, somber guitar music begins to play as the lights come up to a dark blue hue with smoke covering the stage.
As the vocals of, “Broken Needle” by Marilyn Manson begin, out walks Vinny Marseglia with his axe in his right hand resting on his shoulder as he takes a look to the end of the ramp and into the ring before beginning his walk down to it.
As the introduction concludes, Vinny stops at the bottom of the ramp, lowering his axe to his side as he climbs up onto the ring apron and then steps through the ropes. He ascends the nearest turnbuckle and, with one swift swing, buries the axe in the turnbuckle pad before leaping down and getting ready for the match ahead.
Tom Phillips: Two men. Two dueling ambitions. Tonight, Drew McIntyre meets the self-proclaimed "Horror King" and former UWF Champion Vinny Marseglia, man to man. For 202 days the Scottish Psychopath has had an iron grip on his title, defending it against a host of game competitors. But tonight just might be the most difficult test his reign has faced.
Corey Graves: You've got that right, Tom. Vinny Marseglia has long been a purveyor of pain here in the UWF, personified best in what is perhaps his signature match, the Last Heart Beating contest. He has won two of those bouts, one of which was this past summer when he prevailed over a once-dominant Bray Wyatt. After a brief interlude where he was ambushed by Trevor Lee, Marseglia put that old devil to bed in an Inferno contest just last month. Now, he's come within inches of once more laying claim to the prize he once used to terrorize the entirety of the UWF Universe. In his personal quest for reverence, there could be no more desirable an item than that.
Ranallo is unusually silent as he awaits the arrival of the reigning, defending UWF Champion with the rest of the UWF Universe. He does not wait long.
As the sound of metal clashing echoes around the building, “Wish It Away” by Psycho Dalek starts to play and out from behind the curtain steps the reigning UWF Champion, Drew McIntyre. With the title belt strapped around his waist, The Scotsman slowly walks towards the top of the ramp and after taking a moment to stop and look at the ground, he tilts his head up and raises both fists in sync with two fire pyrotechnics either side of him.
The master of the Claymore walks down the ramp and upon reaching the end makes a turn towards the steel ring steps. After taking a brief pause, he smacks the top of them with his open right hand, not once, but twice, before climbing up and entering the ring through the middle rope. Once inside, McIntyre heads for the opposite turnbuckle, climbs to the top rope, unclips the title and perches for a moment before raising it high into the air with his right hand. As more fire pyro goes off from the stage, McIntyre drops back down to the mat and unclips his ring coat with his spare hand in anticipation for the upcoming contest to begin.
Mauro Ranallo: And here's the man who stands between the Horror King and his proverbial throne. Two hundred and sixty five pounds of pure Scottish muscle and madness. Drew McIntyre's road to the UWF Championship was an unorthodox one as he rose to very sudden prominence at Final Battle, clawing victory from the jaws of defeat. He was very near to being fired when he managed what could only be described as an upset over then-champion Trevor Lee. Hardened by war with the same foe Vinny put to rest last month, he cut a swath through the upper card of the company. Now, he stares eye to eye with the most brutal challenger he will, perhaps, ever face.
The crowd are hot, buzzing loudly as the official collects the championship from Drew and stands between champion and challenger in the ring as the house lights come down. Chimel, beside the official, handles the announcement. His face is stoic, solid – a reflection of a man who understands the gravity of this moment.
Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for fall and is for the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Championship!
The mention of the title draws a loud pop from this Toronto audience. Chimel continues.
Chimel: Introducing first, the challenger. From Warwick, Rhode Island. Weighing in at one hundred and eighty-nine pounds. He is the, “Horror King”, Vinny…Marseglia!
As he raises a clenched fist overhead, mention of the Horror King draws a mixed reaction from the crowd. Some cheer, knowing and associating the name with a sort of barbaric bloodshed that always gets crowds white hot. Others aren't fans of the man and his personal quest for recognition now. He's a divisive figure, now as much as always.
Chimel: And his opponent. He is the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion. From Ayr, Scotland. Weighing in at 265 pounds. The Destroyer, Drew McIntyre!
Just as with Vinny, there's a mixed response for the champion. His vicious deeds have been a mixed bag among fans, from the moment he returned to the company and practically murdered the funny man Danhausen. But he has developed a reputation in these intervening months of being a true, fighting champion, and that has won the begrudging respect, if not support, of the UWF Universe.
Drew simply nods as he looks out from the ring, and then steps up to the middle of the ring. Never one to back down, Vinny gets right up in his face, looking up at a man standing fully six inches taller than him like a lumberjack eyes the old oak he's about to fell. It looks like all Hell is about to break loose as the official says some words about wanting a clean contest and then motions for the bell.
DING DING!
As soon as that starting bell rings, all Hell does, indeed, break loose. McIntyre and Marseglia start trading blows from the off, the Horror King opting for a flurry of body shots that Drew mostly no-sells as he's delivering stiff rights and lefts that tend to glance off of Vinny's defenses. The fans are buzzing as they wait to see who prevails here when, eventually, the kidney blows take their toll and Drew's offense begins to relent, which leads Marseglia to press the attack. That is, until the big Scot plants his feet and unloads a hellacious Glasgow Kiss that sends Marseglia reeling back into the ropes. Unfortunately for Drew, Vinny's made of tougher stuff than most of his opponents and he rebounds into a pump kick to the face!
Phillips: Glasgow Kiss from the Scottish Psychopath but OH! What a response by the Horror King!
Graves: If nothing else could be said about the illustrious career of Vinny Marseglia, it's that he is perhaps one of the toughest men to ever step foot in that UWF ring. No man has endured more torturous stipulations and situations than him in this company's history. Last Heart Beating. Infernos. Monster's Ball. Marseglia's name is almost single-handedly associated with the bloodiest bouts I've ever called.
McIntyre tumbles back into the ropes himself now, and Vinny allows for no separation – knowing how lethal a snap Claymore could be to his championship ambitions – as he lunges and converts with a Jump Scare that has his fans popping for him as Vinny shoots the half.
1...
...NO! Drew gets the shoulder up!
Ranallo: McIntyre powers out of the Jump Scare and you have to wonder what Marseglia was thinking making that cover! He has to know something that simple wouldn't keep the big man down.
Graves: Sometimes, the pinfall attempt is less about snagging the 1-2-3 and more about just wearing down your opponent. It takes a degree of physical exertion to get the shoulder up, which leaves Drew with that much less energy to expend on some of his more deadly strikes.
Drew rises to one knee quickly, but that works for Vinny as he runs the ropes and rebounds looking for another pump kick to his opponent. McIntyre, however, has it scouted and dodges out of the way. As Vinny rebounds, Drew catches him and spins him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, delivering a knee to the lumbar of his opponent with a brutal degree of force. Vinny is writhing on the canvas after he is bodily pushed off of the knee he just crash landed upon, and Drew glares down at him with a murderous expression before bending to pull him up by the dreads. Marseglia is actively grimacing, but even that expression looks slightly manic on his crazed face as Drew holds him at arm's length and jaws off at him, telling him that his time is in the past. Drew then closes his free hand around the Horror King's throat, but Vinny chops down on the arm to force a break before surging into a flurry of Axe Edge Chops that drive Drew back into a corner! Marseglia does not stop unloading on his opponent, and the fans count each blow as it lands with a sick enough crack to be heard in the penthouses of the condos around the Rogers Centre.
Graves: The Horror King might just cave in our champion's ribcage if he doesn't stop here!
Phillips: Look at his chest. It's bleeding!
The UWF Champion looks visibly winded as Vinny dashes away from the corner to the one opposite, rebounding off the turnbuckles into a full-tilt sprint across the ring before connecting with an absolutely brutal forearm smash. Drew's boots lift off the canvas from the force of the impact as Marseglia rushes away to the corner opposite and once again surges forward with a second strike to the face. Darting to the corner opposite with intent to make it a third, Marseglia charges toward Drew, but this time the champion's killer instinct kicks in and he surges out of the corner himself to connect with a shoulder block that grounds the Horror King! The fans pop as Drew rolls onto his back, both men looking up at the lights with gassed expressions.
Ranallo: What an explosive tackle!
Graves: Imagine being blasted with 265 pounds of pure Scottish muscle, launched with all the force of an ICBM. It's remarkable the Horror King is even conscious.
It looks like the official is going to have to start a ten count. But then, McIntyre kips up. The Scot stalks Marseglia as he has rolled onto all fours and is crawling for the nearest turnbuckle, seemingly unaware his opponent is vertical. But the hard cam catches a very different angle that tells a very different story as Marseglia is grinning widely, and as he finds his footing and turns, Drew charges him – but Marseglia dives out of the way and the Scot sails between middle and top turnbuckle to collide shoulder-first with the ring post!
Phillips: Oh no! The champion crashes and burns!
Ranallo: That could be the match right there, Tom!
The fans "ooh!" at the sickening thud of the champion's bone and muscle mass as it collides with the unrelenting steel. Vinny is quick to capitalize, dragging Drew from the corner into a belly-to-back suplex clutch that he lifts up and over before following up with a quick elbow drop. But he knows that won't be enough. As Drew rolls onto hands and knees after the elbow drop, he's dropped back to the canvas with the Bow Down curb stomp! Vinny shoots the half as his fans erupt in a HUGE pop and count with the official:
1...
2...
...NO! At 2 3/4 the champion gets his boot on the ropes!
Graves: Unbelievable! Look at the ring instinct of the UWF Champion!
The challenger's eyes are wide as he sits up, then slams the canvas with a closed fist multiple times and roars. He rises to his feet and heads out onto the apron as Drew still looks visibly out of it. Marseglia turns to the crowd and makes the cut-throat gesture before he starts ascending to the top rope, but when he gets there, McIntyre kips up! The challenger is momentarily stunned as Drew throws his hair back, but he then leaps off looking for a simple crossbody. McIntyre catches him, however.
Ranallo: Uh oh. This is not where you want to be, Vinny!
McIntyre holds the writhing Marseglia, overpowering his ability to resist before deadlifting him up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry position, then bringing him down again on the knee – this time stomach first with a gutbuster! The fans roar at the savage display as Vinny hits the canvas clutching his stomach and Drew drops to his knees beside the man, using his wrist and forearm to wash the challenger's face in a savage display of poor sportsmanship that actually gets the Toronto crowd heated and the official barking warnings at the champ.
Phillips: What a disgusting show of disrespect against the challenger here tonight.
Graves: I'm not sure it's the wisest thing in the world on the part of McIntyre to goad the Horror King this way.
McIntyre backs off, throwing his hands up with an innocent expression as he walks away from Vinny and toward the corner. The official follows him, continuing to shout a rebuke. Drew turns and glares at him, then looks to Vinny, who is slowly and blindly finding his feet as he wipes blood from the newly opened wound on his forehead away from his eyes. Drew throws one hand up for the countdown and the fans shout the numbers for him.
3...
2...
1...
McIntyre charges. Vinny turns, eyes finally cleaned of the blood. At the last possible second, he clocks the towering Scot leaving his feet and Vinny lunges out of the way as Drew crashes to the canvas, having missed the Claymore! The Horror King's subjects pop for him as he rolls through and to his feet, running for the corner right in front of the rising champion and springboarding off of it for the Orange Sunshine! But before he can capitalize with a cover, Drew rolls out of the ring!
Phillips: The instincts! The champion instincts!
Graves: But Vinny's not going to let him get away!
Indeed, Marseglia is already running the ropes opposite the side of the ring McIntyre is recovering on and he leaps through the ropes!
Ranallo: Tope suicida!
But no! McIntyre has it scouted and as Vinny launches through the ropes, his skull collides with the Scot's with an absolutely SICK Glasgow Kiss! Marseglia crashes and burns to the floor, limp, as Drew, wearing a crimson mask of his own as well as some of the Horror King's blood, laughs a sadistic laugh.
Ranallo: MAMMA MIA!
Drew picks up the dead weight of the challenger and rolls him into the ring, sliding in after him. He pulls Vinny to his feet in the DDT clutch, then drops back, spiking Marseglia on the canvas with the Future Shock DDT. Drew then shoots the half as the crowd sits in stunned silence.
1...
2...
...3!
DING DING DING!
Here is your winner, and STILL UWF CHAMPION:
DREW McINTYRE!
After taking a moment to clean the blood from his face and have the wound stapled shut by a ringside medical official, Drew is handed his title and hoists it high in celebration as the fans give the match a "THIS WAS AWESOME!" chant.
Phillips: This was awesome, indeed. The Horror King brought every weapon he had to bear here and the UWF Champion met him blow for blow in one of the most balanced and competitive matches of his reign.
Graves: You got that right, Tom. We knew coming in that this would be a brutal affair, but even still, this match far exceeded our expectations.
Ranallo: And with the Horror King's challenge answered and quashed, who next will the Scottish Psychopath have to contend with?
That question hangs heavy on the air as the Scot continues to celebrate his victory, the feed taking us elsewhere.
The titantron once again switches from the Royal Rumble graphic to a live feed from backstage. The camera catches up with Bayley half-running down halfway, chasing down the sounds of someone yelling and punching walls. It doesn't take her too long to catch up with Kyle O'Reilly, who's looking as beat up as he is pissed off about how the Submission Match went down.
Bayley: Kyle! Wait up!
O'Reilly's been kicking and pounding at the walls as he storms down the corridor. He stops when Bayley asks, but mostly so he can just focusing on one specific area of the wall now. She has to pull his arm back before he can hurt himself. He turns to look at her, mad about the intervention, than noticing he's alone, he asks...
KO'R: Where's Joey?
She can hardly believe her ears.
Bayley: Huh? What? Joey? Who cares? Look... Kyle... I know this sucks right now but its okay. You can bounce back. You've done it before. There's still the Royal Rumble -
KO'R: I KNOW THERE'S THE GOD DAMN ROYAL RUMBLE!
The cursing, the Lord's name in vain, the shouting in her face - all of it has Bayley stepping back, worried. He doesn't let up.
KO'R: Why else would I tap to that loser? I felt something about to snap. You wanna know how I know what that feels like? Cause I've snapped things in people before. And I knew that the once chance I had to make things right was to take that "L" so I could go get a "W" now but if you don't think that that's the suckiest way to try and win something, I don't know what to tell ya!
Bayley: Well... actually... I mean yeah, that's rough, but that's kinda smart thinking on you -
Kyle's not up for a reasonable conversation. Fuming like he's never fumed, he punches that wall again and keeps on yelling, moreso at the wall then at Bayley, but also, maybe at the wall as a stand-in for some yelling at her he's been keeping pent up for a while now.
KO'R: You know how mother effing awful it is for guys that you're better than to think that they're better than you? Huh? Do you? If you dropped me in the middle of the jungle with Tyler Breeze or LA Knight or Drew McIntyre I guaran-friggin-tee you that I would come out there alive and they'd be dead like when Arnold killed The Predator. Cause that's who I am and that's what I am.
He turns from the wall, almost desperate now looking for an explanation.
KO'R: None of these guys are better than me but they keep beating me and it doesn't make any sense and I can't figure out what's wrong.
Bayley opens her mouth. No words come out. She doesn't have a good reason to give him for that. He waits for a second, so hopeful that his step-sister might be able to help him out here. But nah. Nothing.
KO'R: All I have left is this stupid Royal Rumble. Its not even a real kinda match but its the only way I can prove to all the jerks in one big move that I'm what I say I am, and not what they say I am. And if I can't do that? If I'm walking into Wrestlemania with nothing? No titles? No wins? No cred? Then who cares? About any of it? About the old nWo stuff or that I was there when Larry Sweeney ran the world, and that it was really me making that happen? Or that I won a bunch of tag team titles or the Prizz Tizz Mizzle? Wargames? King of the Ring? What does any of that matter if I can't go out there and prove it to these guys that I'm the most dangerous wrestler alive?
Something's gotta give. Something's gotta change. Cause I worked my whole life to be a pro wrestler and I'm too good to be this bad. I... I just fucking know it, okay? In here...
Kyle points to his chest where his heart is.
KO'R: Up here...
Then to his brain inside his head.
KO'R: And especially here.
He clenches those wall-punching fists, showing them off, then storming down the hall again to take a quick breather between his two matches. Bayley waits behind. She had the look of a person who wants to help. She hasn't given up hope for her step-bro, even if he's on the verge of doing so himself. The Royal Rumble rolls on!