Post by crann on Dec 29, 2018 22:11:03 GMT -6
UWF PROMO OF THE YEAR 2018
At the heart of every show is its promos. Perhaps the area where trashtalkers are most able to express themselves, promos can be used to develop characters, build or expand upon feuds, and explore new storyline angles. These were the best promos of the year, as picked by staff.
THE NOMINEES:
Seth Rollins, "Walk the Talk"
By Destruction
The Prime Time Players, "Lost in Africa"
by Craig
Vinny Marseglia, "Cause of Death"
by Dresden
Chris Jericho, "Fozzy World Tour"
by Brandyn
Chris Jericho: Hello, Paris! Welcome to the first leg of the 2018 Fozzy World Tour!
Alright. This beauty is called Drinkin' With Jesus. Let's get rockin'.
One.
Two.
One Two Three Four.
Drown in the holy water at the bottom of the trenches
And stare into empty bottles as they wipe away my senses
Dude! You've got a problem!
No wonder you're an asshole!
What does that even mean?
Taking me lower
I'm isolated from the martyrs and saints
Getting me closer
You're the only that's left that can heal my pain
Are you singing to your counselor?
I'm a New Orleans Saints fan!
I'm so confused. I can do what now?
No one but us, my friend, my lust
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I made this bed, I lie in it
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I believe in Jesus! I'm offended!
I don't believe in Jesus! I'm offended!
If Jesus is drinking wine, does that make him a vampire?
Whoa, I build a wall around
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Whoa, I'm never coming down
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Language! My daughter is here with me!
Build a wall? He's a Trump supporter!
Why is Jesus even drinking?
[Guitar Solo]
Alright! This is what I'm talking about!
Best part of the song right here!
Finally! A part I understand!
Drinking with Jesus now
Now, now
Shut up! The song was just getting good!
Yeah, Chris! Go back to the guitar part!
Wait, this is Fozzy? Not Ozzie?
No one but us, my friend, my lust
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I made this bed, I lie in it
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
No one but us, my friend, my lust
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I made this bed, I lie in it
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
This song sucks!
Go back to Toronto!
You've said that 8 times and I still don't know what it means!
Whoa, I build a wall around
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Whoa, I'm never coming down
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Drinking with Jesus now
Now, now
Thank God it's over! That song was the worst!
It wasn't the song! It was the singer! He's a bastard!
I'm a Cesaro mark so I agree!
Thank you, Paris! Have a good night!
Merci, Paris! Bonne nuit!
_______________
Chris Jericho: Jesus Christ, guys. That was bad. They hated us.
Paul Di Leo: Not us, Chris. You.
Chris Jericho: Shut up, Paul. You play bass. Nobody cares about bass.
Billy Grey: I also think Chris is the cause of the problem.
Chris Jericho: You shut up too, Billy. You have a stupid name, Billy. Stupid people have stupid names, Billy. Billy is stupid. Billy.
Frank Fontsere: The drummer also noticed some anti-Jericho people in attendance.
Chris Jericho: Not you too. Rich, please tell me you have my back.
Rich Ward: Chris, I've known you for 20 years. You and I both know it was just a tough crowd. We'll get 'em next time.
Chris Jericho: Hell yeah we will. This guy gets it. Welp, I'm off to go shoot for UWF. I'll be back soon.
Fin.
Triple H and Daniel Bryan, "Introduction, Interrupted"
by Crann and Swedish Ace
Marty Scurll, "Post Malone's Bad Day"
by George
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM VILLAIN ENTERPRISES
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“Good day ladies and gentlemen. If you’ve not been paying attention as of late, things haven’t been going the Villain’s way on Resistance. Since the start of this so called “brand” I’ve not managed to pick up a win, I’m in debt, and I can’t trust people. The only one of those three I care for is trust. If you have the Villain’s trust, you mustn't tarnish it. Nevertheless. When people prove untrustworthy, the Villain must dispose of them.”
“Hit the lights Nigel.”
Nigel McGuinness hits the lights and the camera quickly rushes over to a man smothered in blood. He is almost unrecognisable and then he stares upwards. It’s Post Malone.
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“Trust is something this man has tarnished. Post Malone, a man I was going to back with the whole industry of Villain Music, proved his untrustworthy ways when his agent pulled out of our contract. So consider this to be the last time you see Post Malone.”
Post Malone:
“Please! Please… Marty… I’ll go back on it. I’ll sign with you for free… just… please… I’m begging you.”
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“The time for talk has ran out for you, Austin. This isn’t about you, this is about what you represent. What you try and be. What I’m not. That’s why, in front of the whole of the UWF, this will be your last day on planet earth. And that… that’s a promise.”
Post Malone snaps his head down and begins to start crying, what a wuss. He did this to himself. The tears begin to mix with his blood spread across his face and Marty gets a ladder. He sets it up.
Post Malone:
“You don’t have to do this Marty… you’re a good guy inside, I know it!”
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“A good guy. A good guy? Hold on a second. Who do you think I am? I’m not some hero. This isn’t a fairytale where your arse gets out of this, this tale. This tale end is far to go, and it’ll run straight over you Austin. There isn’t 1% of hero in me. I’m 110% villain.”
Post Malone screams out as Nigel and Marty grab a hold of his arms and then position him up to the top of the ladder. They zip tie his feet in between tightly and then suddenly bound it together more with tape.
They bring out two umbrellas and then chuck them underneath the ladder. Marty climbs up the opposite side of the ladder and then locks in the Crossface Chicken Wing. Nigel climbs up on the side of the ladder where Post is being wrenched back on and Marty lets go of his grip.
Nigel grabs a hold of Post Malone’s neck and then sends him smashing down crashing against the ladder with the Tower of London! Marty grabs both of the umbrellas and then they begin to swing at the chest of Post Malone!
Strike, after strike, after strike. Post Malone starts to cough out blood onto the floor below as he pleads with them.
Post Malone:
“P-p-p-lea-se. S-t-op.”
Villain Enterprises ignores the bloody man and continues to strike at him. Nigel suddenly starts swinging at the head of Post Malone, causing a massive gash on the top of his skull. Noticing that he was now unconscious, although still drooling blood, they untie his legs.
Post Malone’s lifeless body falls onto the floor head first. Nigel begins to carry it out as Marty addresses the camera once more. The lights fall to original stature.
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“Trust. Is an important thing to the Villain. Break it and you’ll end up like that so called celebrity that’s taking a trip to Lake Superior. The villain rules strong. You either join us, or you suffer.”
Marty almost walks off to the car about to drive off when he seems to have forgotten something.
“Oh yes. I almost forgotten. LONG! LIVE! THE VILLAIN!”
The Black Rose, "The Mask"
by Anonymous
At the heart of every show is its promos. Perhaps the area where trashtalkers are most able to express themselves, promos can be used to develop characters, build or expand upon feuds, and explore new storyline angles. These were the best promos of the year, as picked by staff.
THE NOMINEES:
Seth Rollins, "Walk the Talk"
By Destruction
The scene opens up to a random field outside in the night time. The trees and green grass can clearly be seen as the camera zooms in on a toy wrestling ring in the middle of the field. As the camera gets closer, a plethora of real life action figures are standing in the ring. The toys are all brand new and available on the UWF network for a Backlash discounted price. As the camera continues to zoom in, the superstars faces all begin to become clearer. The stars range from UWF Champion Cesaro, Intercontinental Champion Miz, Television Champion Vinny, Sheamus, Bray Wyatt, Jimmy Jacobs, Bubba Ray, Chris Jericho, & Marty Scrull. The camera zooms out to see a figure, the one and only Architect dressed in all black. Seth seems like he’s headed to a funeral or he’s just returned from the Matrix. There is a cold look on his face that seems to be hiding a ton of anger under it. He shuts his eyes for a minute before speaking.
Seth Rollins: “If someone tells you that they have arrived here for any particular reason other than to kick ass and win gold, I can show you a liar in the flesh. But in the same breath, a lot of people can talk the talk, but they can’t walk the walk. Me, Seth FREAKIN Rollins; I walk it just like how I talk it. Wrestling and competing is my life and it’s all I know how to do. I’ve installed a code of ethics and a principle of morals in my wrestling and surprisingly, it’s actually something that I can get behind. Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence are all things that I’ve learned to hone in on and use to my advantage against my opponents. But it doesn’t just stop there. There’s also resiliency & courageousness while being calculated, efficient, and precise with my moves, thoughts, and counter attacks. There’s the working out, there’s the mental and physical preparation for each and every match, week in and week out. Opponents that will stop at nothing to gain an edge, or steal an edge against me. In a world that seems to be falling apart and getting more chaotic with each days end, I don’t mind being a role model to people of all ages around the world. That’s the problem with the world today, there’s too many villains who take pride in ruining everything, and there’s not enough hero’s willing to step in and save the day.”
“It’s almost as if in today’s world, you get vilified for being the hero, and loved for being the villain. But I’m one of the few that is here for the sole purpose of correcting that. The man with the biggest and brightest championship in this company becomes the walking epitome of the wrestling world. And we need the best face that we can slap on it, running the show. And not a face that has cancer attached to his waist. We can raise the bar and the standard higher and be a good omen to those around the world that you don’t have play dirty to win or get ahead in life. You don’t have to live in the woods and sleep with your cousins while pretending to be a big monster in the dark. You don’t have to kidnap children and paint your nails like a little girl in second grade just to get a little lime light on you. You don’t have to create a bad sense of fashion in order to get scouted. You just have to show up, work hard, compete, and want to make a positive impact in the world and in society. That is what the world is missing. That is what this company is missing. And that is what I’m going to change and bring to the table.”
“This Money in the Bank match is so much bigger than what it seems. The future of the company is going to be shifted, decided and altered by the winner of this match. The real main event is this match, and not the Champion of Champions match. Hell, the winner of the triple threat match may not even get the opportunity to walk out of the arena with their belt, unless their lucky. There are times in life when one needs to think about others. In regards to me winning the briefcase and becoming the next champion, I’m being both selfish and selfless. Selfless in regards to how the company and the world can change, and selfish in the regards that I want to fame and glory to myself. I won’t lay down for anyone, and I won’t let this opportunity get away from me. I may not even get another chance to do this, so I must seize it and snatch it away from anyone who thinks that they even remotely have a chance to win it. I talked about the right and proper way to shine, and I firmly believe that this is my time to shine. Anyone who dares to stand in my way at this point can just go up in smoke.”
Seth starts to smile as he pulls out a bottle of gasoline. He begins to spray it all over the ring filled with the action figures of his metaphorical future and past opponents. He squeezes half of the bottle of gas all over it and then subsequently lights a match and drops is on the ring. A big patch of the field immediately turns into a blaze as Seth walks away with a big smug smile on his face. As he gets farther from the blaze he created, the scene fades to black.
Seth Rollins: “If someone tells you that they have arrived here for any particular reason other than to kick ass and win gold, I can show you a liar in the flesh. But in the same breath, a lot of people can talk the talk, but they can’t walk the walk. Me, Seth FREAKIN Rollins; I walk it just like how I talk it. Wrestling and competing is my life and it’s all I know how to do. I’ve installed a code of ethics and a principle of morals in my wrestling and surprisingly, it’s actually something that I can get behind. Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence are all things that I’ve learned to hone in on and use to my advantage against my opponents. But it doesn’t just stop there. There’s also resiliency & courageousness while being calculated, efficient, and precise with my moves, thoughts, and counter attacks. There’s the working out, there’s the mental and physical preparation for each and every match, week in and week out. Opponents that will stop at nothing to gain an edge, or steal an edge against me. In a world that seems to be falling apart and getting more chaotic with each days end, I don’t mind being a role model to people of all ages around the world. That’s the problem with the world today, there’s too many villains who take pride in ruining everything, and there’s not enough hero’s willing to step in and save the day.”
“It’s almost as if in today’s world, you get vilified for being the hero, and loved for being the villain. But I’m one of the few that is here for the sole purpose of correcting that. The man with the biggest and brightest championship in this company becomes the walking epitome of the wrestling world. And we need the best face that we can slap on it, running the show. And not a face that has cancer attached to his waist. We can raise the bar and the standard higher and be a good omen to those around the world that you don’t have play dirty to win or get ahead in life. You don’t have to live in the woods and sleep with your cousins while pretending to be a big monster in the dark. You don’t have to kidnap children and paint your nails like a little girl in second grade just to get a little lime light on you. You don’t have to create a bad sense of fashion in order to get scouted. You just have to show up, work hard, compete, and want to make a positive impact in the world and in society. That is what the world is missing. That is what this company is missing. And that is what I’m going to change and bring to the table.”
“This Money in the Bank match is so much bigger than what it seems. The future of the company is going to be shifted, decided and altered by the winner of this match. The real main event is this match, and not the Champion of Champions match. Hell, the winner of the triple threat match may not even get the opportunity to walk out of the arena with their belt, unless their lucky. There are times in life when one needs to think about others. In regards to me winning the briefcase and becoming the next champion, I’m being both selfish and selfless. Selfless in regards to how the company and the world can change, and selfish in the regards that I want to fame and glory to myself. I won’t lay down for anyone, and I won’t let this opportunity get away from me. I may not even get another chance to do this, so I must seize it and snatch it away from anyone who thinks that they even remotely have a chance to win it. I talked about the right and proper way to shine, and I firmly believe that this is my time to shine. Anyone who dares to stand in my way at this point can just go up in smoke.”
Seth starts to smile as he pulls out a bottle of gasoline. He begins to spray it all over the ring filled with the action figures of his metaphorical future and past opponents. He squeezes half of the bottle of gas all over it and then subsequently lights a match and drops is on the ring. A big patch of the field immediately turns into a blaze as Seth walks away with a big smug smile on his face. As he gets farther from the blaze he created, the scene fades to black.
The Prime Time Players, "Lost in Africa"
by Craig
we're backstage at the arena and 2 of the 3 Prime Time Players pop out of Transport Crates
Elix lifts up the lid of his crate
Elix: We finally arrived guys, Pay Per View time for the Prime Time Players - Hell Yeah
Brian Lee just explodes out of his crate smashing it to splinters
Brian: Hell Yeah my brother, after beating Naito I'm confident now that The Prime Time Players are on their way up the ranks and that we can be the strongest stable in the world
both look at each other
simultaneously: Where's Teddy?
Elix: This is East London, Ontario right? - where did Teddy end up
Brian: yep East London, that's where I was told the show was - Did Teddy not get delivered here yet?
they find the tracking code up on their phone
Elix: uh oh! Ummm Brian, we might be a tag team for a while bro
Brian: What? Where is he Elix?
Elix: well.....He's in East London....... South Africa
Brian: South Africa!!!
Brian: damnit I know we shoulda gone with UPS.
Elix lifts up the lid of his crate
Elix: We finally arrived guys, Pay Per View time for the Prime Time Players - Hell Yeah
Brian Lee just explodes out of his crate smashing it to splinters
Brian: Hell Yeah my brother, after beating Naito I'm confident now that The Prime Time Players are on their way up the ranks and that we can be the strongest stable in the world
both look at each other
simultaneously: Where's Teddy?
Elix: This is East London, Ontario right? - where did Teddy end up
Brian: yep East London, that's where I was told the show was - Did Teddy not get delivered here yet?
they find the tracking code up on their phone
Elix: uh oh! Ummm Brian, we might be a tag team for a while bro
Brian: What? Where is he Elix?
Elix: well.....He's in East London....... South Africa
Brian: South Africa!!!
Brian: damnit I know we shoulda gone with UPS.
Vinny Marseglia, "Cause of Death"
by Dresden
As the Judgment Day broadcast arrives at a momentary lull, the main camera cuts away from the happenings of the inside of the arena and pans to a location separate from the venue entirely. The sight is a grassy area with a few trees about the scene and several unmarked gravestones. Suddenly the color of the shot begins to fade into grayscale until there’s nothing but that to be seen. At the moment that the last bit of color disappears, the shot flickers and suddenly there’s a man standing amongst the gravestones and such that wasn’t there before.
Vinny Marseglia: Where on this plain can you find somewhere that’s going to provide you with more peace than a grove that houses the deceased? Not only is it a place where you can be alone with your thoughts and enjoy the solitude, but you aren’t going to find any conflict here. No one here is going to rise from the ground to disagree with anything you voice, no one’s going to break free from their holding place to challenge your behavior, you can literally be whatever and whomever you want to be.
This cemetery is a safe haven for someone like Sheamus. Because before things got physical between us and words were the only things that had been exchanged, Sheamus was walking around the Ultimate Wrestling Federation turf with a substantial chip on his shoulder, believing me to be nothing more than a man trying to pretend to be something instead of truthfully embodying it. With those thoughts and behaviors, he’d be right at home standing where I’m currently standing because as I pointed out, there are no restrictions on that sort of thing here. He would thrive.
However, the Ultimate Wrestling Federation isn’t one of those places, especially now that I’ve arrived. Now that I’m here, Sheamus, there’s someone to challenge that behavior and either put you back in line or leave you in a condition that disqualifies you from being able to stand in it, which means if I see fit, I’ll replace the chip on your shoulder with a chip in your shoulder and all it’s going to take is one swing of the axe.
But since the last time I spoke to you, more than words have been exchanged between us, which means that part of you doesn’t need me to reinforce any of this because you’ve already had it beaten into you. But there’s the matter of pride, something you have a lot of, which means that the parts of you that know what I’m saying is true won’t admit it, and the rest of you does need it reinforced. You want to play ignorant, because you think if you believe a lie boldly enough, it’ll become the truth. But it’s not your acknowledgement that determines whether things are fact or fiction. It’s not your perception that decides whether I’m capable of something or I’m not. Be you the fool or the informed, the believer or the doubter, one thing remains a constant: life goes on.
Life goes on, “Celtic Warrior”, we’re all slaves to time and with that truth coexisting with the truth that you and I now occupy the same part of the world, what I foretold about someone coming along to dim your shine will come to pass. The wheels are already in motion, so it’s only a matter of the precious time I spoke of until it does. So friends, fans, and family of Sheamus: don’t be surprised if, sooner or later, the champion finds himself inside one of those buildings I stood in front of a few weeks ago. Don’t be surprised if his very name gets inscribed on one of these gravestones.
Consider it this way: now that I’m here, Sheamus’ career is in hospice care. Which means, with all that I’ve said and done, even though you don’t know when it’s going to happen, you know that eventually it is going to happen. The only thing is, unlike hospice, there will be nothing comforting or reassuring about this. As you teeter on the line between life and death, there will be no light for you to head towards. The way that you’re viewing me now, that’s going to be how you see everything until your final breath: colorlessly.
And even if I hadn’t spelled all of this out for you tonight, the world still would’ve been able to look at your cadaver and know exactly what happened. Cause of death: Marseglia.
The shot flickers again and suddenly, the area is unoccupied again. As color returns to the scene in the same way it had left before, the camera draws closer to the gravestone in the front before it stops, and now everyone watching can see Sheamus’ symbol carved into it. Things now cut away to the next thing in store for the Judgment Day event.
Vinny Marseglia: Where on this plain can you find somewhere that’s going to provide you with more peace than a grove that houses the deceased? Not only is it a place where you can be alone with your thoughts and enjoy the solitude, but you aren’t going to find any conflict here. No one here is going to rise from the ground to disagree with anything you voice, no one’s going to break free from their holding place to challenge your behavior, you can literally be whatever and whomever you want to be.
This cemetery is a safe haven for someone like Sheamus. Because before things got physical between us and words were the only things that had been exchanged, Sheamus was walking around the Ultimate Wrestling Federation turf with a substantial chip on his shoulder, believing me to be nothing more than a man trying to pretend to be something instead of truthfully embodying it. With those thoughts and behaviors, he’d be right at home standing where I’m currently standing because as I pointed out, there are no restrictions on that sort of thing here. He would thrive.
However, the Ultimate Wrestling Federation isn’t one of those places, especially now that I’ve arrived. Now that I’m here, Sheamus, there’s someone to challenge that behavior and either put you back in line or leave you in a condition that disqualifies you from being able to stand in it, which means if I see fit, I’ll replace the chip on your shoulder with a chip in your shoulder and all it’s going to take is one swing of the axe.
But since the last time I spoke to you, more than words have been exchanged between us, which means that part of you doesn’t need me to reinforce any of this because you’ve already had it beaten into you. But there’s the matter of pride, something you have a lot of, which means that the parts of you that know what I’m saying is true won’t admit it, and the rest of you does need it reinforced. You want to play ignorant, because you think if you believe a lie boldly enough, it’ll become the truth. But it’s not your acknowledgement that determines whether things are fact or fiction. It’s not your perception that decides whether I’m capable of something or I’m not. Be you the fool or the informed, the believer or the doubter, one thing remains a constant: life goes on.
Life goes on, “Celtic Warrior”, we’re all slaves to time and with that truth coexisting with the truth that you and I now occupy the same part of the world, what I foretold about someone coming along to dim your shine will come to pass. The wheels are already in motion, so it’s only a matter of the precious time I spoke of until it does. So friends, fans, and family of Sheamus: don’t be surprised if, sooner or later, the champion finds himself inside one of those buildings I stood in front of a few weeks ago. Don’t be surprised if his very name gets inscribed on one of these gravestones.
Consider it this way: now that I’m here, Sheamus’ career is in hospice care. Which means, with all that I’ve said and done, even though you don’t know when it’s going to happen, you know that eventually it is going to happen. The only thing is, unlike hospice, there will be nothing comforting or reassuring about this. As you teeter on the line between life and death, there will be no light for you to head towards. The way that you’re viewing me now, that’s going to be how you see everything until your final breath: colorlessly.
And even if I hadn’t spelled all of this out for you tonight, the world still would’ve been able to look at your cadaver and know exactly what happened. Cause of death: Marseglia.
The shot flickers again and suddenly, the area is unoccupied again. As color returns to the scene in the same way it had left before, the camera draws closer to the gravestone in the front before it stops, and now everyone watching can see Sheamus’ symbol carved into it. Things now cut away to the next thing in store for the Judgment Day event.
Chris Jericho, "Fozzy World Tour"
by Brandyn
Chris Jericho: Hello, Paris! Welcome to the first leg of the 2018 Fozzy World Tour!
Alright. This beauty is called Drinkin' With Jesus. Let's get rockin'.
One.
Two.
One Two Three Four.
Drown in the holy water at the bottom of the trenches
And stare into empty bottles as they wipe away my senses
Dude! You've got a problem!
No wonder you're an asshole!
What does that even mean?
Taking me lower
I'm isolated from the martyrs and saints
Getting me closer
You're the only that's left that can heal my pain
Are you singing to your counselor?
I'm a New Orleans Saints fan!
I'm so confused. I can do what now?
No one but us, my friend, my lust
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I made this bed, I lie in it
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I believe in Jesus! I'm offended!
I don't believe in Jesus! I'm offended!
If Jesus is drinking wine, does that make him a vampire?
Whoa, I build a wall around
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Whoa, I'm never coming down
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Language! My daughter is here with me!
Build a wall? He's a Trump supporter!
Why is Jesus even drinking?
[Guitar Solo]
Alright! This is what I'm talking about!
Best part of the song right here!
Finally! A part I understand!
Drinking with Jesus now
Now, now
Shut up! The song was just getting good!
Yeah, Chris! Go back to the guitar part!
Wait, this is Fozzy? Not Ozzie?
No one but us, my friend, my lust
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I made this bed, I lie in it
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
No one but us, my friend, my lust
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
I made this bed, I lie in it
All alone and I'm drinking with Jesus
This song sucks!
Go back to Toronto!
You've said that 8 times and I still don't know what it means!
Whoa, I build a wall around
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Whoa, I'm never coming down
Fucked up, I'm drinking with Jesus
Drinking with Jesus now
Now, now
Thank God it's over! That song was the worst!
It wasn't the song! It was the singer! He's a bastard!
I'm a Cesaro mark so I agree!
Thank you, Paris! Have a good night!
Merci, Paris! Bonne nuit!
_______________
Chris Jericho: Jesus Christ, guys. That was bad. They hated us.
Paul Di Leo: Not us, Chris. You.
Chris Jericho: Shut up, Paul. You play bass. Nobody cares about bass.
Billy Grey: I also think Chris is the cause of the problem.
Chris Jericho: You shut up too, Billy. You have a stupid name, Billy. Stupid people have stupid names, Billy. Billy is stupid. Billy.
Frank Fontsere: The drummer also noticed some anti-Jericho people in attendance.
Chris Jericho: Not you too. Rich, please tell me you have my back.
Rich Ward: Chris, I've known you for 20 years. You and I both know it was just a tough crowd. We'll get 'em next time.
Chris Jericho: Hell yeah we will. This guy gets it. Welp, I'm off to go shoot for UWF. I'll be back soon.
Fin.
Triple H and Daniel Bryan, "Introduction, Interrupted"
by Crann and Swedish Ace
We are taken to ringside where the commentary team is standing by at their desks.
Tom Phillips: A few weeks ago, you all may remember that Revolution played host to former president and CEO Triple H, who told the entirety of the UWF Universe that he would be introducing the next major call-up from the company's professional development system — tonight.
Corey Graves: That's right, Phillips, and not just any call-up like Bubba Ray Dudley or Matt Hardy who debuted at Wrestlemania — no, he said he had the next guy who will etch his place into this company's Mount Rushmore, if you will, outshining the four men that have long been upheld as the greatest our business has ever known.
Mauro Ranallo: No shortage of salesmanship there, and no doubt people are waiting with bated breath to find out who Hunter is bringing up to Revolution, which is why we're all delighted...
Corey Graves: Thrilled!
Tom Phillips: Honoured!
Mauro Ranallo: ...to welcome him to the commentary table with us tonight.
There's a noticeable pop from the crowd as Hunter wheels himself into the frame, joining the commentary team at the desk with a smile on his face. He reaches across to shake Mauro's hand, and then shakes Tom's before finally shaking Corey's, then settles in and puts on his headset while Corey turns to him to ask a few questions.
Corey Graves: Now, Hunter, as we said while introducing you, you promised that the man whose name you are about to give to the world will eclipse the Mount Rushmore of UWF — Kevin Steen, Cody Rhodes, Dean Ambrose and Daniel Bryan — in terms of talent and legacy when he is done with the company. I'm assuming, then, that the man you have in mind must be quite young?
Triple H: Look, Corey, without saying so much that I would ruin the surprise, I should just tell you this: the man who will be stepping into that ring in just a few short moments, once things have been finalized in the back and all arrangements have been made, he is not the man you're going to expect. You might be thinking it's some young gun, and there's quite a few down in development who are about to get their call like Pete Dunne and Jay White, but no. It's not who you think it's going to be and I think once you see who I'm talking about, your jaw is going to hit the floor.
Hunter grins as Graves nods, seemingly satisfied with his response. It's up to Ranallo to ask the follow-up.
Mauro Ranallo: An unorthodox pick it is, then. Hunter, some people in the Twitterverse have been buzzing about just who you might be bringing to the company and there's certainly no shortage of rumours but in the lead-up to your big announcement I have to ask the bigger question, and that is: what is it that you see in this performer that you didn't see in others? What convinces you that he will be the next big thing?
Triple H leans back in his seat and thinks for a long moment before leaning back in.
Triple H: Well, let me tell you, Mauro... I've worked with this guy closely for a long time, and we've always had a professional relationship with each other. Unfortunately he hasn't had a chance to really step into a UWF ring in a long time, but he has been with the company before and when he was, he was always doing pretty significant things. Beyond that, I can say that he has a pretty impressive mix of charisma, talent, stamina and determination and I think those are the four qualities that most define the greatest successes in the history of this industry and especially this company. Now, I sat in the back as president and CEO for years and I watched a lot of kids come through those doors who had some or, rarely, even all of those things but they lacked a certain... fifth trait. Call it what you want: an X-factor, intangibles, whatever — doesn't matter. He's got it.
Mauro nods and now it's Tom's turn to take the reins. He looks directly at the camera.
Tom Phillips: Well, I've just received word that everything is a go so I guess there's no sense waiting any longer. Hunter, I'll let you do the honors.
Hunter gets up from the table and removes his headset, moving to the timekeeper's area to collect a microphone from Tony Chimel. He then crosses to stand in front of commentary and begins his announcement.
Triple H: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. The superstar I am about to introduce to you is a man who has fought around the world and now is looking forward to stepping into that UWF ring to prove that he is everything I have said he will be. He is a man who I have advocated for strongly, who I have fought tooth and nail to get here in this company and who I believe has the brightest future possible in this company. Most importantly, he's someone who knows how to play The Game.
The fans are buzzing as Hunter turns toward the stage, staring at it from the opposite end of the ring through two sets of ropes with a smile on his face.
Triple H: From Greenwich, Connecticut. Weighing 255 pounds. He is the man formerly known as The King of Kings...
As soon as Triple H starts his introduction, the fans let off a massive mixed reaction. They already know what's up here, but then the house lights are cut and a deep green light washes over the ring as smoke begins to billow from under the apron and the Titantron flares to life.
Corey Graves: WHAT?!?
Tom Phillips: ...I don't believe it!
Mauro Ranallo: Mamma mia! It's Triple H himself! Triple H has returned to the active UWF roster!
The fans are half-cheering, half booing as Metallica's "King Nothing" kicks up in earnest and Hunter climbs the ring steps, walking deliberately up each one before passing along the apron, wiping his feet on it and stepping between the ropes, a mile-wide grin on his face as he enters a UWF ring for the first time in what seems like an enternity. Hunter crosses the ring and climbs a turnbuckle to work a frenzied crowd that in part wants nothing to do with him. He's all smiles, though, and when he climbs back down from the corner he begins to walk in a circle around the ring before pausing in its center to speak to the assembled masses.
TRIPLE H
None of you have any idea how long I have waited for this moment. Weeks. Months. Years, even, I spent toiling to build this company, putting in thankless hour after thankless hour of hard sweat equity to make this business an international success story. I travelled the world to recruit the best talent, I spent millions to hire the right trainers, the right medical professionals, the right performers. And what did it get me? Nothing. Less than nothing, actually. All of that hard work and what did I have to show for it? I had the contempt and scorn of millions of people just like yourselves, all around the world. I had the derision of my peers — fellow wrestlers who couldn't believe I had given up a career in this squared circle and traded in my tights for a suit. I had a lawsuit brought on by a bunch of ungrateful peons who dared to accuse me of racism because they didn't get everything they wanted while performing on a show over which I had next to no control. And now here I stand, financially ruined, with a marriage on the brink and a career in the dumps, and all I can think about doing right now is the thing I should have done all of those years ago instead of stepping up and offering to take on the mantle of president and CEO: being the real me, the violent me. The Cerebral Assassin, the Game, the King of Kings... being the asshole who earned all of the love and all of the hate you have been showering me with these past few minutes. And most importantly, doing what I do best and hurting people.
Hunter is breathing heavily, visibly upset by the laundry list of indignities he has just listed, and he starts to pace as he continues his rant.
That's right. There's a frighteningly simple brutality to this business and it's one that I've come to understand well in my time not only as a competitor at its highest levels, but as a promoter and the former owner of the largest professional wrestling federation on this planet. It's not rocket science. All it takes is the will to hurt someone and the physical tools to back it up and you can achieve that objective in a perfectly legal, state-sanctioned way and that's exactly what I plan to do here in the UWF. See, while life elsewhere might be Hell and while I might be scraping the bottom of life's barrel, inside these four corner posts I'm as good as a God. And while some of you might be thinking, "But Hunter, you're too old to be in this business. You haven't fought anyone in years," you'd be absolutely wrong because quite frankly, I am in the best physical shape of my entire life. I have never been as fit, as lean and as ready to mangle my fellow human beings as I am right now and that's why I can so confidently boast that I will eclipse the Mount Rushmore of this company and I will carve my name as the greatest to have ever stood in a UWF ring. Nothing can stop me and anyone who tries will be destroyed and all that will be left behind is a gaping void of nothingness over which I will reign as king. King Nothing — long may he rei--
The titantron lights up as a low rumble is heard throughout the arena, causing Triple H to trail off as he and the arena look towards the titantron. A static number 10 is displayed on the screen as the rumble grows in volume, causing the crowd to start to cheer as well, as after Wrestlemania, they know what's being counted down to. As the rumble grows, a voice is heard counting down from 10 to 1, as the clock ticks down. And in the background of this counting and rumbling is the hint of music, increasing is volume. The black background of the numbers fades into a video that gets clearer as the timer gets closer to its end.
When the timer hits one, a figure hits the stage to an almost deafening pop from the crowd. Despite all the negative things said by him and his manager up to this point, it's hard to stop the crowd from cheering a bonafide UWF legend. The Absolute Best, Daniel Bryan is here! He stands on the stage with a microphone in hand and a shit-eating grin on his face. He raises the microphone to address Triple H.
Daniel Bryan
Wow, just wow. I knew that this was a business all about egos, but this is a little ridiculous isn't it? All that talk about the "Performance Center" and "new recruits" as if you were a proud father, seeing your kids earn scholarships for sports. And each time you'd brag about this top recruit. The best of the best. The cream rising to the top. How he was better than UWF's Mount Rushmore. Combined! I mean, I can get someone being better than Steen. Someone being better than Cody Rhodes. Someone being better than Ambrose. All of that I can certainly believe, because you've all got your eyes locked on him right here.
As Daniel says this he points to himself before continuing.
Daniel Bryan
You always save the best for last and Trips, I am the Absolute Best that has EVER been in the UWF. In the past, here in the present, and for the entire future of this company. No one will be able to come close to my talents, let alone eclipse them. But for weeks you had me intrigued. Through all my research and all my scouting for my return, I thought that maybe...just maybe...you had an Ace up your sleeve. Someone training in secret ready to burst on the scene and take the wrestling world by storm. So I waited. I wanted to wait until after he debuted to show back up and formally challenge him, but I jumped the gun and joined the Ultimate X match. I thought maybe your ego would get the best of you and you'd come out and insert this future God of wrestling into that match and I'd get my wish on the grandest stage of them all. But instead, I gave a bunch of average wrestlers a real good looking match on their resume. Cause I'm just such a nice guy. And now here I stand, disappointed that after weeks of hype, you announce YOURSELF as the future of this company?
Now that the honeymoon phase of seeing Daniel Bryan back in the UWF has worn off, the crowd starts to boo his every, arrogant word.
Daniel Bryan
These fans are right to boo you. You could barely run your own brand without driving it into the ground. And after years sitting behind a desk making poor decision after poor decision, you make the poorest decision of all and decide to lace up the boots again, to do what exactly? Pick your shattered pieces of ego up off the floor after you failed to run a company? You got one thing right in that entire speech of yours. That you are the King of NOTHING now. I was waiting by gorilla all night just to come out here and claim the first match of your new client and I get treated to an old man's last joy ride. Pathetic, have fun trying to claw your way up the mountain. I'll be happy to laugh at the sight of you laying in the mud at the bottom when all is said and done.
With that, Bryan turns to walk away, but Hunter raises his microphone with a smile on his face as he responds.
TRIPLE H
Well, well, well... if it isn't the so-called "Absolute Best" himself. Y'know, Daniel, I have to give you credit that for all of the years I was running the show around here, be it RAW or Smackdown or Nitro or Warzone, you were always a bankable asset. You were always a dependable workhorse who we could strap to just about any wagon and you'd just take off in a sprint with it, everyone else be damned. In that respect you absolutely are what you say you are — the best — because, quite frankly, I find it hard to imagine someone who wants so badly to be something greater than he actually is than you. I mean, I've got to give it to you, kid: you've got heart. But you've also got an ego the size of Texas and an entitlement streak that runs a mile wide and twice as long. And let me tell you, while this is a business of egos and you're probably on to something by pointing out just how inflated mine is... well, I've never seen anyone as undeservingly egotistical as you. And this is coming from a guy who worked alongside the greats of this business, the icons of past generations: Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair... I've walked among giants and swam with sharks let me tell you, kid, that quite honestly the only thing you've ever been is a guppy in that pool.
There's a mixed reaction as Triple H unloads on Bryan. He crosses the ring to extend an arm over the top rope, pointing directly at Daniel as he continues.
The fact of the matter is, Daniel, you're nothing more than a product. A figment of the peoples' imagination. I would know, because in all of those years that you were tearing it up around this company, you forget that you were doing so in MY company. And while I'm sure this thought never crossed that thick skull of yours or entered your pathetic, self-involved little brain, let me dispel all of the illusions you have and tell you right now that you're not half the man you think you are. You think that you're the grandest face on Mount Rushmore? Not even close, kid. Because while some of the others there earned that honor, I can tell you for a fact that you were handed it on a silver platter. And maybe it's not what's "best for business" to admit that. Maybe I shouldn't be saying something about one of Ethan Carter's most buzzworthy signees, but frankly, I don't care. So much of who you were was manufactured, Daniel. You were a product of the well-oiled UWF machine and if there's anything that I know I do better in this world than fight, it's promote. I promoted you to the moon and back, kid. I handed you title shots, I served up unexpecting losers to you time after time. Every time you came back to a chance at a belt, who do you think arranged that? Every time you got that extra minute of exposure, that extra second of mic-time to get the fans cheering for you, who do you think was pulling the strings?
Triple H pauses as the fans buzz. Looking cross, now, every word that spills from his lips drips with more venom than the last as he continues.
ME. I made you, Daniel, and if there's anything you need to be painfully aware of, it's that I can wipe you out, too. All of those historic achievements, those world title reigns, the band of sycophants you ran with on Nitro, I made all of that happen. But you don't have the apparatus of the UWF machine behind you anymore, and now you're slowly — painfully, for you — being exposed to the world as the mediocre guy you always were. That's why you lost at Wrestlemania in a match the old you would have easily won. Not because you just wanted to give the next generation the best match of their careers, but because you couldn't cut it against them. Which is why I want you to listen really carefully to what I'm about to say, because it's not going to make you happy at all: next week on Revolution, you're going to have an even harsher wake-up call, because when I've said my piece here, I'm going to walk to Carter's office, knock on his door and demand a match with you. And when we meet, here in the middle of this ring, I'm going to show the world that everything I've just said is the truth: you're nothing but a myth, kid. And I might as well be Adam Savage because I'm about to bust you.
Smirking, Hunter lowers his microphone. Bryan glares at him up the ramp, then looks out at the sea of post-Wrestlemania fans as they confer a huge pop to the prospect of the match Triple H has all but just announced. Bryan almost looks like he is going to head down the ramp and make it happen right now, but Regal comes out from the back and has a word with him and the pair head to the back. Shaking his head, Hunter starts to make his way up the ramp as the feed moves along.
Tom Phillips: A few weeks ago, you all may remember that Revolution played host to former president and CEO Triple H, who told the entirety of the UWF Universe that he would be introducing the next major call-up from the company's professional development system — tonight.
Corey Graves: That's right, Phillips, and not just any call-up like Bubba Ray Dudley or Matt Hardy who debuted at Wrestlemania — no, he said he had the next guy who will etch his place into this company's Mount Rushmore, if you will, outshining the four men that have long been upheld as the greatest our business has ever known.
Mauro Ranallo: No shortage of salesmanship there, and no doubt people are waiting with bated breath to find out who Hunter is bringing up to Revolution, which is why we're all delighted...
Corey Graves: Thrilled!
Tom Phillips: Honoured!
Mauro Ranallo: ...to welcome him to the commentary table with us tonight.
There's a noticeable pop from the crowd as Hunter wheels himself into the frame, joining the commentary team at the desk with a smile on his face. He reaches across to shake Mauro's hand, and then shakes Tom's before finally shaking Corey's, then settles in and puts on his headset while Corey turns to him to ask a few questions.
Corey Graves: Now, Hunter, as we said while introducing you, you promised that the man whose name you are about to give to the world will eclipse the Mount Rushmore of UWF — Kevin Steen, Cody Rhodes, Dean Ambrose and Daniel Bryan — in terms of talent and legacy when he is done with the company. I'm assuming, then, that the man you have in mind must be quite young?
Triple H: Look, Corey, without saying so much that I would ruin the surprise, I should just tell you this: the man who will be stepping into that ring in just a few short moments, once things have been finalized in the back and all arrangements have been made, he is not the man you're going to expect. You might be thinking it's some young gun, and there's quite a few down in development who are about to get their call like Pete Dunne and Jay White, but no. It's not who you think it's going to be and I think once you see who I'm talking about, your jaw is going to hit the floor.
Hunter grins as Graves nods, seemingly satisfied with his response. It's up to Ranallo to ask the follow-up.
Mauro Ranallo: An unorthodox pick it is, then. Hunter, some people in the Twitterverse have been buzzing about just who you might be bringing to the company and there's certainly no shortage of rumours but in the lead-up to your big announcement I have to ask the bigger question, and that is: what is it that you see in this performer that you didn't see in others? What convinces you that he will be the next big thing?
Triple H leans back in his seat and thinks for a long moment before leaning back in.
Triple H: Well, let me tell you, Mauro... I've worked with this guy closely for a long time, and we've always had a professional relationship with each other. Unfortunately he hasn't had a chance to really step into a UWF ring in a long time, but he has been with the company before and when he was, he was always doing pretty significant things. Beyond that, I can say that he has a pretty impressive mix of charisma, talent, stamina and determination and I think those are the four qualities that most define the greatest successes in the history of this industry and especially this company. Now, I sat in the back as president and CEO for years and I watched a lot of kids come through those doors who had some or, rarely, even all of those things but they lacked a certain... fifth trait. Call it what you want: an X-factor, intangibles, whatever — doesn't matter. He's got it.
Mauro nods and now it's Tom's turn to take the reins. He looks directly at the camera.
Tom Phillips: Well, I've just received word that everything is a go so I guess there's no sense waiting any longer. Hunter, I'll let you do the honors.
Hunter gets up from the table and removes his headset, moving to the timekeeper's area to collect a microphone from Tony Chimel. He then crosses to stand in front of commentary and begins his announcement.
Triple H: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. The superstar I am about to introduce to you is a man who has fought around the world and now is looking forward to stepping into that UWF ring to prove that he is everything I have said he will be. He is a man who I have advocated for strongly, who I have fought tooth and nail to get here in this company and who I believe has the brightest future possible in this company. Most importantly, he's someone who knows how to play The Game.
The fans are buzzing as Hunter turns toward the stage, staring at it from the opposite end of the ring through two sets of ropes with a smile on his face.
Triple H: From Greenwich, Connecticut. Weighing 255 pounds. He is the man formerly known as The King of Kings...
As soon as Triple H starts his introduction, the fans let off a massive mixed reaction. They already know what's up here, but then the house lights are cut and a deep green light washes over the ring as smoke begins to billow from under the apron and the Titantron flares to life.
Corey Graves: WHAT?!?
Tom Phillips: ...I don't believe it!
Mauro Ranallo: Mamma mia! It's Triple H himself! Triple H has returned to the active UWF roster!
The fans are half-cheering, half booing as Metallica's "King Nothing" kicks up in earnest and Hunter climbs the ring steps, walking deliberately up each one before passing along the apron, wiping his feet on it and stepping between the ropes, a mile-wide grin on his face as he enters a UWF ring for the first time in what seems like an enternity. Hunter crosses the ring and climbs a turnbuckle to work a frenzied crowd that in part wants nothing to do with him. He's all smiles, though, and when he climbs back down from the corner he begins to walk in a circle around the ring before pausing in its center to speak to the assembled masses.
TRIPLE H
None of you have any idea how long I have waited for this moment. Weeks. Months. Years, even, I spent toiling to build this company, putting in thankless hour after thankless hour of hard sweat equity to make this business an international success story. I travelled the world to recruit the best talent, I spent millions to hire the right trainers, the right medical professionals, the right performers. And what did it get me? Nothing. Less than nothing, actually. All of that hard work and what did I have to show for it? I had the contempt and scorn of millions of people just like yourselves, all around the world. I had the derision of my peers — fellow wrestlers who couldn't believe I had given up a career in this squared circle and traded in my tights for a suit. I had a lawsuit brought on by a bunch of ungrateful peons who dared to accuse me of racism because they didn't get everything they wanted while performing on a show over which I had next to no control. And now here I stand, financially ruined, with a marriage on the brink and a career in the dumps, and all I can think about doing right now is the thing I should have done all of those years ago instead of stepping up and offering to take on the mantle of president and CEO: being the real me, the violent me. The Cerebral Assassin, the Game, the King of Kings... being the asshole who earned all of the love and all of the hate you have been showering me with these past few minutes. And most importantly, doing what I do best and hurting people.
Hunter is breathing heavily, visibly upset by the laundry list of indignities he has just listed, and he starts to pace as he continues his rant.
That's right. There's a frighteningly simple brutality to this business and it's one that I've come to understand well in my time not only as a competitor at its highest levels, but as a promoter and the former owner of the largest professional wrestling federation on this planet. It's not rocket science. All it takes is the will to hurt someone and the physical tools to back it up and you can achieve that objective in a perfectly legal, state-sanctioned way and that's exactly what I plan to do here in the UWF. See, while life elsewhere might be Hell and while I might be scraping the bottom of life's barrel, inside these four corner posts I'm as good as a God. And while some of you might be thinking, "But Hunter, you're too old to be in this business. You haven't fought anyone in years," you'd be absolutely wrong because quite frankly, I am in the best physical shape of my entire life. I have never been as fit, as lean and as ready to mangle my fellow human beings as I am right now and that's why I can so confidently boast that I will eclipse the Mount Rushmore of this company and I will carve my name as the greatest to have ever stood in a UWF ring. Nothing can stop me and anyone who tries will be destroyed and all that will be left behind is a gaping void of nothingness over which I will reign as king. King Nothing — long may he rei--
The titantron lights up as a low rumble is heard throughout the arena, causing Triple H to trail off as he and the arena look towards the titantron. A static number 10 is displayed on the screen as the rumble grows in volume, causing the crowd to start to cheer as well, as after Wrestlemania, they know what's being counted down to. As the rumble grows, a voice is heard counting down from 10 to 1, as the clock ticks down. And in the background of this counting and rumbling is the hint of music, increasing is volume. The black background of the numbers fades into a video that gets clearer as the timer gets closer to its end.
When the timer hits one, a figure hits the stage to an almost deafening pop from the crowd. Despite all the negative things said by him and his manager up to this point, it's hard to stop the crowd from cheering a bonafide UWF legend. The Absolute Best, Daniel Bryan is here! He stands on the stage with a microphone in hand and a shit-eating grin on his face. He raises the microphone to address Triple H.
Daniel Bryan
Wow, just wow. I knew that this was a business all about egos, but this is a little ridiculous isn't it? All that talk about the "Performance Center" and "new recruits" as if you were a proud father, seeing your kids earn scholarships for sports. And each time you'd brag about this top recruit. The best of the best. The cream rising to the top. How he was better than UWF's Mount Rushmore. Combined! I mean, I can get someone being better than Steen. Someone being better than Cody Rhodes. Someone being better than Ambrose. All of that I can certainly believe, because you've all got your eyes locked on him right here.
As Daniel says this he points to himself before continuing.
Daniel Bryan
You always save the best for last and Trips, I am the Absolute Best that has EVER been in the UWF. In the past, here in the present, and for the entire future of this company. No one will be able to come close to my talents, let alone eclipse them. But for weeks you had me intrigued. Through all my research and all my scouting for my return, I thought that maybe...just maybe...you had an Ace up your sleeve. Someone training in secret ready to burst on the scene and take the wrestling world by storm. So I waited. I wanted to wait until after he debuted to show back up and formally challenge him, but I jumped the gun and joined the Ultimate X match. I thought maybe your ego would get the best of you and you'd come out and insert this future God of wrestling into that match and I'd get my wish on the grandest stage of them all. But instead, I gave a bunch of average wrestlers a real good looking match on their resume. Cause I'm just such a nice guy. And now here I stand, disappointed that after weeks of hype, you announce YOURSELF as the future of this company?
Now that the honeymoon phase of seeing Daniel Bryan back in the UWF has worn off, the crowd starts to boo his every, arrogant word.
Daniel Bryan
These fans are right to boo you. You could barely run your own brand without driving it into the ground. And after years sitting behind a desk making poor decision after poor decision, you make the poorest decision of all and decide to lace up the boots again, to do what exactly? Pick your shattered pieces of ego up off the floor after you failed to run a company? You got one thing right in that entire speech of yours. That you are the King of NOTHING now. I was waiting by gorilla all night just to come out here and claim the first match of your new client and I get treated to an old man's last joy ride. Pathetic, have fun trying to claw your way up the mountain. I'll be happy to laugh at the sight of you laying in the mud at the bottom when all is said and done.
With that, Bryan turns to walk away, but Hunter raises his microphone with a smile on his face as he responds.
TRIPLE H
Well, well, well... if it isn't the so-called "Absolute Best" himself. Y'know, Daniel, I have to give you credit that for all of the years I was running the show around here, be it RAW or Smackdown or Nitro or Warzone, you were always a bankable asset. You were always a dependable workhorse who we could strap to just about any wagon and you'd just take off in a sprint with it, everyone else be damned. In that respect you absolutely are what you say you are — the best — because, quite frankly, I find it hard to imagine someone who wants so badly to be something greater than he actually is than you. I mean, I've got to give it to you, kid: you've got heart. But you've also got an ego the size of Texas and an entitlement streak that runs a mile wide and twice as long. And let me tell you, while this is a business of egos and you're probably on to something by pointing out just how inflated mine is... well, I've never seen anyone as undeservingly egotistical as you. And this is coming from a guy who worked alongside the greats of this business, the icons of past generations: Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair... I've walked among giants and swam with sharks let me tell you, kid, that quite honestly the only thing you've ever been is a guppy in that pool.
There's a mixed reaction as Triple H unloads on Bryan. He crosses the ring to extend an arm over the top rope, pointing directly at Daniel as he continues.
The fact of the matter is, Daniel, you're nothing more than a product. A figment of the peoples' imagination. I would know, because in all of those years that you were tearing it up around this company, you forget that you were doing so in MY company. And while I'm sure this thought never crossed that thick skull of yours or entered your pathetic, self-involved little brain, let me dispel all of the illusions you have and tell you right now that you're not half the man you think you are. You think that you're the grandest face on Mount Rushmore? Not even close, kid. Because while some of the others there earned that honor, I can tell you for a fact that you were handed it on a silver platter. And maybe it's not what's "best for business" to admit that. Maybe I shouldn't be saying something about one of Ethan Carter's most buzzworthy signees, but frankly, I don't care. So much of who you were was manufactured, Daniel. You were a product of the well-oiled UWF machine and if there's anything that I know I do better in this world than fight, it's promote. I promoted you to the moon and back, kid. I handed you title shots, I served up unexpecting losers to you time after time. Every time you came back to a chance at a belt, who do you think arranged that? Every time you got that extra minute of exposure, that extra second of mic-time to get the fans cheering for you, who do you think was pulling the strings?
Triple H pauses as the fans buzz. Looking cross, now, every word that spills from his lips drips with more venom than the last as he continues.
ME. I made you, Daniel, and if there's anything you need to be painfully aware of, it's that I can wipe you out, too. All of those historic achievements, those world title reigns, the band of sycophants you ran with on Nitro, I made all of that happen. But you don't have the apparatus of the UWF machine behind you anymore, and now you're slowly — painfully, for you — being exposed to the world as the mediocre guy you always were. That's why you lost at Wrestlemania in a match the old you would have easily won. Not because you just wanted to give the next generation the best match of their careers, but because you couldn't cut it against them. Which is why I want you to listen really carefully to what I'm about to say, because it's not going to make you happy at all: next week on Revolution, you're going to have an even harsher wake-up call, because when I've said my piece here, I'm going to walk to Carter's office, knock on his door and demand a match with you. And when we meet, here in the middle of this ring, I'm going to show the world that everything I've just said is the truth: you're nothing but a myth, kid. And I might as well be Adam Savage because I'm about to bust you.
Smirking, Hunter lowers his microphone. Bryan glares at him up the ramp, then looks out at the sea of post-Wrestlemania fans as they confer a huge pop to the prospect of the match Triple H has all but just announced. Bryan almost looks like he is going to head down the ramp and make it happen right now, but Regal comes out from the back and has a word with him and the pair head to the back. Shaking his head, Hunter starts to make his way up the ramp as the feed moves along.
Marty Scurll, "Post Malone's Bad Day"
by George
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“Good day ladies and gentlemen. If you’ve not been paying attention as of late, things haven’t been going the Villain’s way on Resistance. Since the start of this so called “brand” I’ve not managed to pick up a win, I’m in debt, and I can’t trust people. The only one of those three I care for is trust. If you have the Villain’s trust, you mustn't tarnish it. Nevertheless. When people prove untrustworthy, the Villain must dispose of them.”
“Hit the lights Nigel.”
Nigel McGuinness hits the lights and the camera quickly rushes over to a man smothered in blood. He is almost unrecognisable and then he stares upwards. It’s Post Malone.
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“Trust is something this man has tarnished. Post Malone, a man I was going to back with the whole industry of Villain Music, proved his untrustworthy ways when his agent pulled out of our contract. So consider this to be the last time you see Post Malone.”
Post Malone:
“Please! Please… Marty… I’ll go back on it. I’ll sign with you for free… just… please… I’m begging you.”
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“The time for talk has ran out for you, Austin. This isn’t about you, this is about what you represent. What you try and be. What I’m not. That’s why, in front of the whole of the UWF, this will be your last day on planet earth. And that… that’s a promise.”
Post Malone snaps his head down and begins to start crying, what a wuss. He did this to himself. The tears begin to mix with his blood spread across his face and Marty gets a ladder. He sets it up.
Post Malone:
“You don’t have to do this Marty… you’re a good guy inside, I know it!”
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“A good guy. A good guy? Hold on a second. Who do you think I am? I’m not some hero. This isn’t a fairytale where your arse gets out of this, this tale. This tale end is far to go, and it’ll run straight over you Austin. There isn’t 1% of hero in me. I’m 110% villain.”
Post Malone screams out as Nigel and Marty grab a hold of his arms and then position him up to the top of the ladder. They zip tie his feet in between tightly and then suddenly bound it together more with tape.
They bring out two umbrellas and then chuck them underneath the ladder. Marty climbs up the opposite side of the ladder and then locks in the Crossface Chicken Wing. Nigel climbs up on the side of the ladder where Post is being wrenched back on and Marty lets go of his grip.
Nigel grabs a hold of Post Malone’s neck and then sends him smashing down crashing against the ladder with the Tower of London! Marty grabs both of the umbrellas and then they begin to swing at the chest of Post Malone!
Strike, after strike, after strike. Post Malone starts to cough out blood onto the floor below as he pleads with them.
Post Malone:
“P-p-p-lea-se. S-t-op.”
Villain Enterprises ignores the bloody man and continues to strike at him. Nigel suddenly starts swinging at the head of Post Malone, causing a massive gash on the top of his skull. Noticing that he was now unconscious, although still drooling blood, they untie his legs.
Post Malone’s lifeless body falls onto the floor head first. Nigel begins to carry it out as Marty addresses the camera once more. The lights fall to original stature.
“THE VILLAIN” Marty Scurll:
“Trust. Is an important thing to the Villain. Break it and you’ll end up like that so called celebrity that’s taking a trip to Lake Superior. The villain rules strong. You either join us, or you suffer.”
Marty almost walks off to the car about to drive off when he seems to have forgotten something.
“Oh yes. I almost forgotten. LONG! LIVE! THE VILLAIN!”
The Black Rose, "The Mask"
by Anonymous
“Who cares who you are before you put on the mask. Not many. Not unless if they have a reason to, otherwise you’re just another number in the system. But before you know it, you’re gone, dead. Just like everyone does eventually, all relevancy drops like a stone in water. And people who did care about you? They’ll be gone sooner or later.”
“So why, looking at every member of the active roster today do we just see buffoons. Babbling idiots flurried by their own egos. We look at these guys trying to be comedic, Kidman and Gunn, Scurll and Velveteen, The World Warriors? All a step down. And we do never step down. We step up, stepping up to the plate.”
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“As sooner or later, you’ll be forced to step down, why do it in choice? Why try and take yourself so seriously like this dipshits in the main event scene out here in the UWF? Guys like Vinny, guys like Omega, hell even your champion doesn’t know how stupid he makes himself look in the grand scheme of it all.”
“Shticks will die like the rest of us. You just need to wake up. Look outside, how gifted you are to be in the position you are today. Because sooner or later, the Black Rose will shudder that away from you. Burning, beating, dying.”
“So why, looking at every member of the active roster today do we just see buffoons. Babbling idiots flurried by their own egos. We look at these guys trying to be comedic, Kidman and Gunn, Scurll and Velveteen, The World Warriors? All a step down. And we do never step down. We step up, stepping up to the plate.”
“As sooner or later, you’ll be forced to step down, why do it in choice? Why try and take yourself so seriously like this dipshits in the main event scene out here in the UWF? Guys like Vinny, guys like Omega, hell even your champion doesn’t know how stupid he makes himself look in the grand scheme of it all.”
“Shticks will die like the rest of us. You just need to wake up. Look outside, how gifted you are to be in the position you are today. Because sooner or later, the Black Rose will shudder that away from you. Burning, beating, dying.”
