mattchewie
Main Eventer
The following nostalgic 90s-ish moment has been provided by the Chewie World Order
Posts: 202
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Post by mattchewie on Apr 9, 2019 23:11:43 GMT -6
Having a bad idea. On one of the older boards, may even be this one but I'm just too lazy to check, we had a thread in which you would reply and tell the person in the previous post who they would like to see them TT as. SO, here in this thread that is exactly what we will do. Someone can reply to this thread, the first person to comment and choose an individual (or group) for me to TT as will then be replied to with the next person's choice. Ya feel me? Example: Dres comments on this post by saying "Mr. Fuji" so I will edit this post with a short Mr. Fuji TT. Max then replies to Dres and challenges him by saying "The Blue Meanie", and etc. Also, for the sake of making this an insanely ridiculous post, I suggest we just edit our original post with a line break before we do the TT. Standard Battle Royal and Royal Rumble rules apply for length. Whoever gets the most likes, total, wins. =============================================================================================================================
The theme rages on as the most electrifying Luchadore walks out onto the stage, and yes....he brought IT with him. The Chairman of the UWF has finally arrived. The charisma is oozing from his air guitar on the chair. He rushes down to the ring. La Parka enters the ring and sets up his chair. He grabs a microphone. La Parka Hola, mis amigos!A very low, deep, monotonous voice comes over the PA system as La Parka speaks. Rosetta Stone: Hello, my friends!La Parka looks confused, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. He shrugs and then continues. La Parka: Bienvenido a todos y bienvenidos a todos, soy yo, su Presidente oficial de la UWF. Ha llegado a mi atención inmediata que mi presencia ha sido solicitada por un "Inmortal" Hulk Hogan. También me llamó la atención el hecho de que haya quienes dudan y se quejen de sí mismos que han dudado del hecho de que realmente pueda desempeñar las funciones de Presidente, y para aquellos de ustedes que creen que, digo, ustedes son montones de caca. Entonces, dejemos que Parkamania corra salvaje en la UWF. En caso de que todos estén confundidos, permítanme demostrarles exactamente en qué consiste la Parkamania.The fans look confused, as none of them are following. The monotone voice takes in a deep breath. Rosetta Stone: Welcome one and welcome all, it is I, your official Chairman of the UWF. It has come to my immediate attention that my presence has been requested per one "Immortal" Hulk Hogan. It has also come to my attention that there have been the doubters and naysayers that have doubted the fact that I can actually perform the duties of Chairman, and to those of you who believe that, I say, you are piles of poop. So, let Parkamania run wild on the UWF. In case all of you are confused, allow me to demonstrate exactly what la Parkamania consists of.La Parka shrugs and points to the tron. Satisfied, La Parka stands on his chair. After mocking the Immortal Hulk Hogan, La Parka leaves.
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Post by mrleedles on Apr 10, 2019 0:25:12 GMT -6
La Parka Just as La Parka had left the stage, the other classic theme song of the Immortal One begins to play, and out he comes, decked fully in that black-and-white. Alongside him, however, is Easy E himself, who is hyping up the crowd as Hogan grabs the world championship around his waist, spraypainted with the nWo lettering, and begins playing air guitar on it.While Hogan's air guitaring is a tad slower than La Parka's, it still brings the same amount, if not MORE energy than his. He walks to the ring, going up each step, and gets inside, where waiting for him already is one "Mean" Gene Okerlund.Hogan: "Parkamania ain't nothing but a RIPOFF, brother! From day one to day one-thousand I have been on the top of the mountain wherever I went, brother! From the first day that the light shone down on Earth, it wasn't the dinosaurs who ruled the land, jack! It was the NWO that reigned over the planet! It was Hollywood-Mania day-in, day-out, and it has always been that way, and always WILL be that way, brother! After all, you nWo-ites all KNOW who was the original master of the guitar in wrestling, dude!"Hogan begins to play air guitar once more, the crowd all on their feet, roaring for the Hollywood hero.Hogan: "Whether it be a battle of air guitar, or a battle in the ring, we both know exactly who comes out on top, brother! I'm going to embarrass you so bad, that Parkamania is going to flee back across the border, brother, and is going to STAY there, because Hollywood-Mania RULES not just America, but THE ENTIRE WORLD!"Hogan and Bischoff then take their leave, heading back up the ramp, with Hogan giving a few air guitar strums as well.
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Post by George on Apr 10, 2019 5:38:48 GMT -6
Hulk Hogan
The theme music of the Kentucky Gentleman, Chuck Taylor plays throughout the arena to a silent reaction, as after Hulk Hogan and LA Parka, he’s a bit of a disappointment. Chuck then bursts through the curtain with his hand raised up above his head, and he’s full of fire baby! He then looks around the arena, scouting out who’s around in the crowd.
He then makes his way down to the ring and looks to his side, at a kid booing him with his thumbs pointed downwards. He then brushes him off with a gesture of the lack of time he has on his hands. He then climbs up on the apron and then gets into the ring. He raises his microphone to his mouth to speak.
Chuck Taylor: “You! That kid in the first row. Stop trying to get yourself over kid, the one and only Kentucky Gentleman is here, and he ain’t afraid to whip kid’s asses! In fact, I’m gonna whip the ass of every kid in this building! That… sounded weird. But I don’t care! I mean gawd damn, these kid’s grandma’s have been going at me lately, and if they dare come near me tonight, they’re gonna get a mouth full of fist!”
“Now for the life of me, I don’t know why the hell you guys are out here. There are some wild people backstage sure, and I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan just passed me on the way through the curtain, they all pail to my star power. Without a shadow of a doubt, I am the sweetest goddamn dude in the whole of that locker room tonight, that kid in the front row knows it, and I know it!”
The great Chuck Taylor raises his hand in celebration of himself. He then smirks at the reaction he’s getting from these dweebs in the arena tonight.
“Ah c’mon guys, I’m the Kentucky Gentleman! I’m a gosh darn UWF legend, and I’m a bonafide ruler of the crowd because they all know that I’m the greatest wrestler around. Hulk Hogan ain’t got nothing on me, in fact, I reckon that Hulkamania is a dying death, jack! Ha, I used his line. I’m really proud of that. As I was saying... “
“ChuckTaylormania will run wild on all of these grandmas and children! They ain’t ready for the pure, untamed, beast that is me. The gosh darn Kentucky Gentleman! Woo! Wait, Flair ain’t in the back is he? I hope not, I feel he might steal my girl at some point. But even if he is, the joke’s on him, I don’t have a girlfriend!”
The crowd slightly laughs at this admittal of loneliness. Chuck then looks around as he didn’t really know what he wanted out of that line. He then sighs and then raises the microphone once more.
“Uh… but! I have a message for one person in particular. If he’s here. If he’s at home. I don’t give a flying monkey. El Generico! This STILL ain’t over! And I bet none of your pals are anywhere to save you, buddy. Oh no, oh no. What me and Kenny started, will be finished at my hands. And for the rest of you? Fuck you.”
Chuck Taylor then lowers his microphone and walks out and shouts at the kid in the front row. He gets some boos from the crowd, but there is a general thought that nobody wants to see him ever again.
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Post by wasabi on Apr 10, 2019 7:52:42 GMT -6
Chuck Taylor
ACH's theme hits Naruto runs down through the entranceway and around the ring before getting into the ring. He holds up a peace sign to the crowd before picking up the microphone.
ACH: MY NAME IS ACH BABY, but to all of you I may as well be called Ichigo because I am the reaper of this match. You see we don't know how many people are coming out in this battle royal, but that fine the hero aka me of this match finds power deep within him to overcome such adversity just like when Deku managed to learn to control just a little bit of One for All or when Joseph Joestar learned to control the Hamon. Though you would only know that if you watched part 2 baybay!
He climbs up to the top rope and starts chanting part two
ACH: But let's talk about hulk hogan right what a loser naming himself after a MARVEL superhero, man and not even a cool one like Wolverine. Wouldn't it be cooler if he was wolverine hogan or Spider Hogan? Yeah. Thought so nothing more needs to be said about hollywood when all it does is make me saw logs and by that I mean sleep. I mean sleep. La parka is pretty cool, he kinda reminds me of that Villain from Kinnikuman though I'm not sure which one came first either way that's extreme points on the board for him you know? And Chuck Taylor he scares children, you wanna know who else scared children? Inuyasha and no one likes Inuyasha it's the worst of Rumiko Takeshi's work Ranma 1/2 and Lum were much better works by her and if you believe otherwise you're opinion is on the same tier of that of liking GT and no one likes GT. With all of that said and done I'm going to win this match BELIEVE IT.
He drops the microphone and Naruto Runs up the ramp
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Post by yoloisfox on Apr 10, 2019 8:05:49 GMT -6
ACH
The Crowd pops as a fan favorite UWF legend walks past ACH and struts down the ring. ITS JIMMY USO!!! He gets to the ropes and perches himself on the tope turnbuckle.
Jimmy Uso: “As you know I was chillin in the back and I heard some of the stuff thats been said, and I had to laugh about all that Uce. Ya see I deserve better than this battle royale, this parade of losers and has beens! I DESERVE TO MAIN EVENT THE UWF, RIGHT HERE ON THE UWF NETWORK! But I know why I am not.”
Jimmy pauses a bit.
Jimmy Uso: “It’s because my damn brother and that lying bitch Naomi have been conspiring to keep me down! To keep the real pride of the Anoai family down! I should be the one fighting Velveteen Dream for the belt, I should be the one main eventing shows not slumming it in theese battle royales, or in thesse stupid tag matches. So I fid what any reasonable man being screwd with would do. I got Jey and Naomi fired, AND THATS NOT PARANOIA UCE!”
the fans gasp and boo at this shocking turn of events.
Jimmy Uso:” Is that shocking to you, do you wanna boo me? Guess what you fans are part of the problem you never really cared about me. You cheered me but you cheered others as well. You never fought for me to get higher on the card, you didn’t rrally care, Uce. So when I say UCE, You say OH... SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don’t need you or anybody. I am gonna defeat those Hasbeens La Parka, and Hogan, that chump Chuck Taylor and that nerd ACH, and whoever else wants some. Because once I step in the ring every one has been welcomed TO THE USO PENITENTIARY!”
Jimmy then just leaves as the fans boo him out the ring but the New Jimmy Usos doesn’t seem to care
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Post by halfofasphere on Apr 10, 2019 13:07:17 GMT -6
jimmy uso ----------------
The Blue World Order's music hits as the entire crowd goes wild! Hollywood Nova and Big Stevie Cool saunter out from behind the curtain to be met with more applause. Then, they stand on the right and left side of the stage, before doing the double-point-to-the-middle thing the Bar does.
The Blue Meanie suddenly bursts out from backstage! He's stark naked other than a pair of blue wrestling trunks and covered in blue frosting head to toe. Women and children begin crying! Men avert their gaze! Mothers desperately scramble to cover their babies' eyes! The trio ignores the pleas for someone to give the blue guy a shirt and begin walking down to the ring, passing by the new Jimmy Uso. They all do their own thing on the outside; mostly mimicing their designated wrestler. But eventually, they all find their way into the ring, with Richards having procured a microphone.
Big Stevie Cool: Hey yo! You know why we're here, but you don't know who we are!Nova whispers something to Richards."Hollywood" Nova: Hey, uh... that's the blue guy's line, brother.Big Stevie Cool: Doesn't matter who's line it is or how it's said, brother, because at the end of the day, no matter how many steroid needles Hogan can fit in his wrinkly, hotdog colored ass-cheeks, the BWO is taking over this show. So you can Naruto run straight back into your mama's basement and watch your, uh, newfangled anime shows ACH... what was it, Bleach? Look at the adjective. Bleach. "Hollywood" Nova: Let me tell you something, dude. The only bleach we're gonna need to run this show is of the eye-variety after catching Parka's get-up. So eat your vitamins and say your prayers before walking into the ring with the Blue Meanie tonight, because when you all come crashing down, oh brother, it's gonna send a shockwave that all the little Novamaniacs at home all across the nation will feel, and they will know that God made all the little plants and the animals, and then three blood-thirsty, blue raptors, jack!Stevie imitates a raptor screech, thankfully out of range of the mics, before continuing.Stevie: So for all you guys who came out here to see Chucktaylormania, give us a cheer.The crowd remains mostly silent.Stevie: Thought so, that had about as much energy as he did. Now, give us a reaction if y'all came to see the...Crowd: B! W! O!Stevie smiles a bit and nods his head like he's proud of himself. The frosting-covered Meanie says something to Richards that the crowd can't hear. Richards hands him the mic. Meanie begins to lick his lips and drag his hands up his chest, inhaling deeply. He then sharply exhales into the microphone.Bluedust/Meanie: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Dirty Dancing, 1987. Those sensations… Do you feel that, UWF universe? It's the tides of change; they're a-turning. Oh yes. I can feel it up and down my bodacious curves, from my delicious feet up to the tippy-top of my head. Pure… ecstasy. Bliss from seeing people coming into this ring talking about their Hulkamanias and their Parkamanias and their vague attempts at copying my friend Nova, but you know, and I know, my darlings, that they will all soon feel…He inhales.Bluedust/Meanie: Wrestlemeania.
So whether you get hit with the scrumptious Bluestone Piledriver or the sweet, sweet High Fly Blues, just know that in the end, the spotlight will shine on me the brightest as I bloom like a little flower showing its colors in spring. Bluedust is going to run wild on you all. This ring that I have graced was made for me. Nobody here talks as provocatively, walks as seductively, and dresses as tastefully as Bluedust, and especially not whoever else is going to step into the ring after us.
So shall I leave you with a song, my darlings? Like Marilyn Monroe singing to Mr. President? Romeo praising his one and only Juliet? A hopeless romantic singing to his star-crossed lover? I believe I must. He clears his throat as if to begin singing, but his partners abruptly cut him off by pulling the microphone away from him, probably for his own good. They then lead him out of the ring and through the crowd as large amounts of security officers file out from the backstage area to get the almost-naked blue guy out of the ring and off TV. Before the bWo disappears entirely into the outside area of the arena, Meanie turns to say one last thing.
Bluedust/Meanie: "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!" The Wizard of Oz, 1939.The rest of the bWo quickly pulls him through the door....Graves: What the hell was that?Graves' question lingers in the silent air for a second, until...
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Post by Gone on Apr 10, 2019 16:31:28 GMT -6
Blue Meanie ================================================================================== The theme of Goldust hits the PA system. The bizarre one comes out wig and all in his sexual/creepy manner with his valet, Marlena. He makes his way into the ring and looks towards where the Blue Meanie was being hauled away. He then looks at the crowd before he grows a snarl on his face. He growls before speaking. Goldust: TSSSSSSHHHHH.Goldust takes a big deep breath in before exhaling. He signals to Marlena who has a clapperboard. She goes up to him and claps it signalling it's time for Goldust to speak. Goldust:It's SHOWTIME! -1979, All That Jazz.Goldust: It seems we've been having a party here and your source of entertainment were those three? Oh… What a pity. You had to hire a knockoff cause you couldn't afford the real thing. Oh, trust me, I and Marlena would love to have done this for free in return for a night of fun. Wouldn't we Marlena?A sinister smile grows on Goldust face before he goes back to being stern. Goldust: The Uso penitentiary, huh? Is that where you guys lock up the naughty men who've committed dirty dirty crimes? Do you chain them up to the walls? Cause if so, I have been veeeery naughty.Goldust then brings Marlena into the shot and they face towards the crowd. Goldust: It's a shame they all left, we could've had a… Special time and gave this crowd a show, but me and Ms. Marlena will still give the crowd what they paid for. Hmph. A quick snort from Goldust before he looks towards Marlena and pulls her in for a gross French kiss session that makes the crowd turnaway. The crowd are booing while Goldust are going to town. Goldust stops and looks at the crowd before looking at Marlena. Goldust: Why do they all look like unhappy rabbits? -1950 All About Eve.He snarls and looks back at the crowd. Goldust: We gave you a show of a lifetime. FOR FREE! And you repay us with disapproval. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You people take us for granted. You have a Hollywood actor bestowing you with a performance you'll never forget and you boo! You don't deserve such a treat… Not at all. And if we won't be appreciated, we will go somewhere where they understand my fine art. You all will regret this. You'll all will remember the name… GOOOOOLDUUUUST!Goldust snaps his teeth at the crowd and taking his valet, Marlena and himself to a place where they are appreciated.
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mattchewie
Main Eventer
The following nostalgic 90s-ish moment has been provided by the Chewie World Order
Posts: 202
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Post by mattchewie on Apr 10, 2019 17:04:05 GMT -6
95-96 Goldust ============================================================================================= The image flashes across the screen and the arena goes black. A spotlight shines to the center of the ring. Wyatt: Well, well, well...what do we have here? A few paragons of the past? A few fresh faces from today's youth? Listen in, my little fireflies out there tonight....Bray's got a story to tell you.Bray begins rocking in the chair. Wyatt: When I heard Sister Abigail say that there was a commotion, I didn't expect it to be something so...pitiful. We have androgyny at its finest with this gold-plated man quoting, quite poorly might I add, Hollywood films. Speaking of Hollywood, we have the relic of the past whose skin looks as leathery as the sofa in a psychiatrists office. We've got an international superstar, who I can't understand, for the life of me, why he is still attempting to step into this ring. I have no problem respecting my elders, but there must come a point to where you understand that your body can't handle much more inside this ring. Then a pathetic attempt at a parody with the trio of the blue World order. While you comedy acts are out here trying for you best laugh, I'll sit right here and laugh along with you. But it's not your sad jokes or your poor humor that amuses me. It's all the things that Sister Abigail is whispering in my ear that she would like to see me to do each of you in this ring. I sit here before each of you and I am presented with two options. There are two paths set before that I must choose. Do I choose the path to peace and leave you all to your mediocrity and folly...or do I choose the path that requires that I stand from my chair and lay my hands upon each of you? We've all been here before, yes? We've asked ourselves that same question more than we remember....but now you find yourselves wondering just which answer that I shall arrive. Oh, Sister Abigail enjoys that look of wonder and fear on each of your faces...she wonders which of you will be the first to fall. My little fireflies are on the edges of their seats in anticipation, anxiously waiting for what lies in store for each of you. Perhaps today is not that day....but consider yourselves warned. Follow the buzzards.The lights go back out in the arena. When they come on, Bray and his rocking chair have disappeared.
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Post by Dres on Apr 10, 2019 17:53:39 GMT -6
Bray Wyatt —————————————————————— —————————————————————— As “Judas” by Fozzy plays, the UWF fan base come alive as they know they’re about to be greeted by rock and wrestling royalty. Chris soon comes out and starts heading to the ring. Once he arrives at the end of the ramp, he enters the ring and motions for a microphone as the ringside official grants him one.Chris Jericho: What a stampede of idiots, and not an original thought between you. Now you may be asking yourselves why someone like me is lowering himself to the level of these lowlifes and the answer is simple. It’s to wash the bad taste out of your mouths. To cleanse your eyes of the filth they just witnessed. To give you something you didn’t know how badly you needed, but are definitely going to want. The Gift of Jericho. Drink it in maaaaaan.Jericho leans his head back closing his eyes as he outstretches his arms. After a moment, he returns to speaking.The other reason I’m taking the time to address that racist relic and haunted house decoration specifically is the mockery they just made of air guitar. I guess it’s not bad enough to make one profession I excel at look bad, you have to suck at everything.
I wouldn’t let you grandfathers even be my opening act. Not to mention the venues don’t seat blacks and whites apart so Hogan wouldn’t be caught dead there anyway. As for the Kentucky Gentleman and the guy who’s name sounds like the first half of a sneeze? If I was a fan, I wouldn’t buy a ticket to see you so as your superior, I’m not going to waste precious time and energy addressing you further than this.
And considering Jimmy Uso usually sounds like he eats crayons, it’s only fitting we saw Goldust and the BWO. As for Edgar Allan Bo...At that moment, a fan shouts, “Bo’s his brother!”I don’t care. He’s trying to make straw hats and Hawaiian shirts cool, but the only nice thing you’re doing is providing Oldamania back there with a rocking chair. I just hope the finish isn’t too dark.With that, Jericho drops the microphone and exits the ring.
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Gur
Main Eventer
Talk Your Shit
Posts: 129
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Post by Gur on Apr 10, 2019 20:23:39 GMT -6
Any version of Chris Jericho!
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