Post by Danny on May 15, 2019 16:00:36 GMT -6
As the logo is seen, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the Revolution fans in attendance before panning to the commentary table where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Tom Phillips: Hello and welcome to Revolution! I’m Tom Phillips.
Mauro Ranallo: I’m Mauro Ranallo.
Corey Graves: And I’m Corey Graves. What a show we have planned.
Tom Phillips: Too true. As Wrestlemania continues to take shape, things are heating up now more than ever. For example, we’ve got two servings of tag team action tonight when the NSDS take on the unusual tandem of Ultramantis Black and “Broken” Matt Hardy in one contest and the team of Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch take on DIY in the other.
Mauro Ranallo: Quite an opportunity for the championship contending teams to shine. And speaking of teams being represented, tonight one-third of, “The Bloodline” will be in action when Roman Reigns takes on the ever dangerous Minoru Suzuki.
Corey Graves: If you think that Samoan meathead talks goofy now, wait until Suzuki cuts off the oxygen to his brain. Just like he wants to do to Neville, who’s set to take on a goof as well when he takes on Kaval.
Tom Phillips: And it’s an animal versus a predator when Batista steps into the ring with the, “Horror King” Vinny Marseglia.
Mauro Ranallo: We’re going to see if Vinny is underestimating Big Dave or if Batista bit off more than he can chew. Just like when Jimmy Havoc takes on the returning “Phenomenal One”, AJ Styles.
Corey Graves: Calling it now, boys. Jimmy’s going to kick out of the Styles Clash and put AJ on the same shelf as Kenny Omega. And joining them will be Velveteen Dream when, in our main event, Samoa Joe puts him to sleep!
Mauro Ranallo:but first let's head down to the ring to get the first match of the night started!
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, already in the ring. From Washington, D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds. The “Animal”, Batista!
Batista raises one arm in the air to a mixed reaction.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent...
As the lights go out, an unfamiliar combination of instrumental sounds is heard over the PA system for several seconds before the titantron screen lights up with an image.
As the crowd reacts, the instrumental building, screaming vocals suddenly come in.
”GET ON YOUR KNEES
AND BOW
DOWWWNNNN!”
As the screaming prolongs and the instrumentation picks up, suddenly Vinny appears from the back with a red balloon in one hand and his axe in the other as he heads towards the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Warwick, Rhode Island. Weighing in at one hundred and eighty-nine pounds. He is the, “Horror King”. Vinny...Marseglia!
Vinny steps up onto the apron and steps through the ropes as he gets ready to bring the horror.
DING DING!
Batista takes a swing at Vinny but he ducks it and ends up behind him, connecting with a modified Farewell to the Flesh due to their size difference. Vinny goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Vinny Marseglia!
Vinny isn’t finished as he begins violently putting the boots to the, “Animal”. Vinny guides Batista to his feet and whips him chest first into the corner, and as he connects, Vinny grabs his axe and turns it around as he drives the end of the handle into the kidney area again and again. He turns Batista around and now hits him in the stomach with the handle, then above the stomach, then in various parts of the chest before hitting him in the Adam’s apple. Vinny throws down the axe as Batista is climbing up onto the turnbuckle, trying to create distance and gain ground. Vinny sees this and punches him in the groin as he steps up onto the turnbuckle with him, hooking his head and connecting with the jumping implant DDT known as the Jump Scare off of the turnbuckle.
Vinny climbs up onto the top rope again and leaps off, connecting with the Redrum. He now grabs his axe again and exits the ring, making his way up the ramp.
Tom Phillips: A vicious assault on Batista by the number one contender.
Mauro Ranallo: Making short work of him here, and that’s scary.
Corey Graves: So he made a complacent old man look like chump change. Not hard to do. He won’t do the same to a young, spry fighter like Sweeney!
The scene opens to see a mixed martial arts gym, to be specific Kings MMA. There are many people training, sparring and making themselves better at the sport they love.
The instructor is teaching a couple of people off on the mat and it pans over to him. He then shows off a set move, and then repeats it slower, and then does it quicker again for everyone to see. He then sends them off to train on this. The trainer gets up and walks to the side of the gym.
Suddenly, a man pats him on the shoulder, to the trainer’s shock. He then looks around and it’s revealed that the man bothering him is none other than Adrian Neville. The trainer looks at him funny, and then Adrian does the same back to him.
Adrian Neville: I’m here for a fight. Can you do that, mate?
Trainer: We can spar, do you have any past training then?
Adrian Neville: Of course I do, get on that mat and give me a fight!
The trainer goes down to his knees ready to begin sparring from the ground, but as soon as he does this Neville goes to run at him with a kick but the trainer trips him up and slams him down to the mat, where he gains a top mount on Neville.
He then grabs the arm of Neville and then flips him over to his back, he traps the arm in by moving his legs to the side and then prepares to hook in the omoplata hold on Adrian Neville. He hooks it in and then pulls deep on it and then Neville taps on his shoulder to make him release. The trainer lets Neville free.
As soon as Neville gets out he gets up to one knee and then goes for a swing on the trainer, but he ducks it and then throws him over his shoulder, Neville lands flat out on the mat and then the man switches over to his leg and then positions him into a heel hook and wrenches back in on it. Neville struggles as anger builds on his face and he taps once more.
Trainer: Are you sure you still want to go?
Adrian Neville: Bring it you wuss!
Neville then pushes the trainer back off into a guard, and Neville runs up onto him, but the trainer positions his feet low on Neville and throws him over head in a monkey flip like movement. The trainer then takes his outside arm and then places him into a triangle choke hold on him. Neville then instantly grabs the man up off the ground and smashes him down in a triangle choke slam.
Neville then jumps on the trainer who is trying to recover from the amount of force he’s just been thrown down to the mat with, and Neville starts laying in some nasty punches on the man, one after another after another. He then grabs his head and leads him straight up to his feet. Neville takes a step back and kicks him square in the balls.
The trainees then stop their training and look over in concern at their trainer in agony, Neville then goes to the ground and locks in The Flowers of Eden in on the trainer. He wrenches and wrenches but he’s out cold. The trainees then go to grab Neville and pull him off, but he’s in tight on the unconscious man.
Some of the trainees try to wrench Neville off, but this only makes it tighter on their trainer. Neville stares down on him with a scary face. A loud pop is then heard and Neville releases, knowing he left some lasting damage on this man. He then gets up and looks down on the man with a snarl.
Neville then walks out, and then feels a slight vibration from his pocket. He then pulls it out, it reads a call from Nigel. He then swipes it away, declining the call, and then puts it back in his pocket. Neville smiles and then continues walking over to his car with a grin on his face. It could be safe to say this man has his strategy set out for Wrestlemania.
The titantron cuts to a shot of Renee Young standing in a typical interview area.
Renee: Hello everyone, this is Renee Young standing alongside current Television Champion Aleister Black.
The camera zooms out to show the two of them. Aleister says nothing, only staring at the interviewer in question, calculated and unblinking.
Renee: Aleister, last week EC3 announced your match for Wrestlemania against not one but two men. What is your mindset heading into both that and the tag match?
Aleister: The simple truth is that neither of those two children scare me. There's no reason to be scared of a pair of sad little men living out their wildest fantasies and their glorified games of dress-up. I see through the cracks in their fancy veneer, and through it I see a pair of quivering, crying manchildren. They can't beat me. They know it, I know it, and everyone out there knows it too. Ultramantis has won nought but one match in this company, and Matthew? He's been disappearing and reappearing from this company since before I returned here. A smart man would be able to see that EC3 is doing nothing more than padding out my match with two nameless comedy acts to make it seem like I'm in any sort of danger. Tell me, Renee, why should I have to fear the two people Ethan threw into a title match as filler. Why should I fear them when they haven't given me a reason to?
Renee takes a while to respond…
Renee: Well, you don't have to be pinned to lose your title..
Aleister: Ah tut tut. Renee. Those two have hardly pinned anyone in their careers, let alone each other. Let me just tell you what's going to happen, since you can't seem to piece it together on your own. Me and WALTER are going to humiliate them tonight. We will beat them lifeless until there's no chance of them beating me. But at Wrestlemania, there will be no teams. Their alliance will be nothing. They won't be able to team together to beat me like they will tonight. They've lost before the race even began.
Renee looks a bit offended, but keeps it going.
Renee: It's very clear what you think about that match-up, but what about the match with Miz you wanted to have? Ethan Carter III said, and I quote, "I don't give two shits what they want."
Aleister's mood noticeably drops. He stares directly through the camera, almost addressing the man on top.
Aleister: Ethan Carter, I must have mistaken you for an actual intelligent man. You wear expensive suits, you surround yourself in expensive, materialistic objects, yet you don't know what is best for your own company. If you knew what was best, you would have given me a match to put down that pest once and for all. But I know now that you left this company for a reason. You're a fraud.
He pauses for a moment and tilts his head, speaking to his rival.
Aleister: And as for you, Miz, don't think that I didn't see your emotional diatribe last week. It was quite inspiring, standing up for your little Hollywood family. You must really love your family. You must just be an upstanding family man. You must put it over everything else. Like that time you put your wife, your own family, on the line just to get back your little belt back. Or the times you use your wife and child as a cheap talking point to garner sympathy with the crowd out there. You're not a good father, you're a good actor.
He perses his lips a bit and turns back to Renee.
Aleister: Do you know exactly who The Miz is when he isn't The Miz, Renee? Who he is underneath the pounds of make-up and studio lights?
Renee: Former Intercontinental Champion, contender for the top title, uh…
Aleister: I said underneath all of that. Those achievements hardly matter. He wears them like nothing more than jewelry. And on top of that, he has the gall to pretend like his family means anything more than a conversation starter for him. His experience in acting has lead him to pretending like he's a responsible parent.
He turns back to the camera, pointing through it to the man who is (presumably) watching it somewhere.
Aleister: Cut the shit and drop the family man illusion. It's just another mask you throw on with your make-up to make yourself look better. I can see through that mask. I can see through that facade and look deep into your very soul. And just like with make-up, what I see under it is ugly. I see the paranoid, delusional man that's residing inside of you. The man who's afraid to do anything more than insult me from afar and call me names. And that man isn't fit to fight. That's a man who's cut out for living in a mansion acting in films far away from any danger. So, Miz, that invitation to fight was more than just that. It was a death knell to your career. A promise that you made that if you follow through on, means an end to all that is The Miz.
So I will agree with you on one thing. We will fight. Whether it's in a month or a year. Only… you will suffer very unfortunate consequences. When we fight, I will crush you and I will consume you. If there's weapons involved, so be it. If I have to pin you once or twice or a million times, that's fine. If I need to submit you in the middle of that ring, I'll do it. Just know that I want to end you. I want to break the smug little face that's been spitting on me from the comfort and safety of a camera. Those who can be made can be unmade. And I will unmake you. In the end, King Awesome is going to be the one bowing down.
Have a good afterlife, Mike Mizanin.
He pushes the microphone that Renee is holding out of his face. Renee suddenly understands Charly Charuso's struggle. She turns to the camera, throwing her hands up in defeat, before Revolution heads elsewhere.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
”Test...your might.
MORTAL KOMBAT!”
As the well-known theme of the fighting game staple begins to play, the fans come alive with cheers because of the collective it has come to be associated with. Soon The Proletariat Boar, former Hardcore Champion Grado, and Kaval come out onto the stage, with Kaval holding a poster of the World Warriors Initiative.
Tony Chimel: Being accompanied to the ring by the Proletariat Boar and Grado. From Brooklyn, New York. Weighing in at one hundred and seventy-four pounds. Representing the World Warriors, Kavaaaaal!
As the trio complete their walk down the ramp, Kaval enters the ring as Grado and the Boar remain ringside. It’s time to test someone’s might.
Tony Chimel: And introducing his opponent...
The song “Fine Again” by Seether blasts into the arena and it falls into practical darkness. The lyrics ring out and the depressing tone continues to play throughout the arena. The images of the titanton play out and the arena prepares for arrival.
“AND I AM AWARE NOW,
HOW EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE,
ONE DAY TOO LATE,
I’M IN HELL”
Normally at this point, Neville would be out and walk to the ring without making eye contact with anyone but now he's nowhere to be seen, the music stops and Tony Chimel starts again
Tony Chimel: And introducing his oppo...
He is interrupted by a figure from the crowd jumping on the barricade and leaping off onto Grado and Boar with a dropkick, it's the Black Rose! he gives the two world warriors a boot to the face and once Kaval sees that he instantly charges the ropes and leaps off with a Tope Con Hilo, but no!! Neville moved out of the way and Kaval managed to land on his legs but it seems like it cost him as he falls down to one knee and screams out in pain! and Neville smiled, that's exactly what he needed, he picks up Kaval and throws him back into the ring and there he starts putting a beating on him, mercilessly stomping on his bad knee until the ref separates him to check on Kaval
Mauro Ranallo: We've possibly just been robbed of a great match-up ladies and gentlemen, Kaval's knee isn't looking good.
Corey Graves: He needs to man up, "oh no I did a high-risk move and got hurt!" what a baby
Looks like Kaval listened to what Corey had to say as instead of laying there and crying to the ref he crawls over to the ropes and gets back to his feet and the ref aks him if he wants too conitnue which he simply replies with a nod, he's got a true warrior spirit, the ref calls for the bell while Nevlle just stares at Kevel struggling to get up
DING DING DING!
And it looks like he also doesn't give a damn about Kaval warrior spirit as he grabs Kaval from the back and throws him halfway across the ring with a German suplex! it looks like Kaval is out and Neville decides to finish it, he goes over to Kaval's limp body and locks in the Flowers Of Eden! he stares at Kaval with a crazed look in his eyes as it seems like the pain had brought him back to life as he's moving his arm, but not tapping, after a few seconds Neville raises his head from Kaval as something off the corner of his eye caught his attention, it was Minoru Suzuki setting up a chair at the top of the ramp where he just watched Neville apply the submission.
so obviously, Neville cranks the submission even harder, the ref raises Kaval's hand one time to see if he's out and it hits the floor, a second time, and it hits the floor and on the third time... it hits the floor.
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel:Here is your winner... "The Black Rose" Adrian Neville!
Neville keeps the submission on for a few moments whilst not moving his eyes away from Suzuki, when he finally lets go he goes over to the ropes and watches Suzuki watching him and they have the tensest staredown anyone has ever seen but staredowns alone don't bring ratings and the feed moves elsewhere
here's my segment for Revolution Danny
[Camera opens when Naomi appears on screen while Carly Caruso stands beside of her]
Carly Caruso: I'm standing with the one in only The Glow herself Naomi.
(Crowd Cheers for Naomi in the background)
Carly Caruso: I'm standing with the one in only The Glow herself Naomi.
(Crowd Cheers for Naomi in the background)
Naomi: thanks for having me Carly.
Carly Caruso: Now Naomi. a couple months ago on Revolution you and your Husband Jimmy. was this very close to defeat DIY for the finals to see who would fight the Outsiders for the tag team titles and then Jimmy. will reunite with his Bloodline crew with Jey and the return of Roman Reigns when they take on G.O.D at Wrestle Mania any suggestions Naomi.
Naomi: Reason they force us to lose to DIY. is because there where a better team I'll give them that though because they really but up a good fight against me and Jimmy Uso on Revolution but in speaking of Revolution I don't have a match on Revolution for next week's show in that is why I;m going to EC3's office and ask him would it be nice to let me face the Lass Kicker or the Shaman herself Becky Lynch. to fight me in a match and if I win the match against Becky next week then that fatal four way will be a five way match for the UWF tag team Champion at Wrestle Mania.
Carly Caruso: but Naomi. what about your Husband Jimmy Uso. do you think that his team might win at Mania next month
Naomi: of course I have feelings for The Bloodline because after they get through with G.O.D at Wrestle Mania then the Bloodlines will take over UWF roster including the Show as well in that is why I have faith in the Bloodline because when they defeat Samoa Joe and his crew they better not ask them for a rematch for anything like that but anyways I just hope that the Bloodlines can walk out as the winner when they defeat G.O.D in a six man tag at Wrestle Mania on UWF.
Naomi: Oh and if Becky and Sami. does win there tag match on Revolution I wish both of them luck cause Becky will get her answer when I beat her next week in our singles match and if I win the match against Becky. next week then that match at Wrestle Mania will be now a fatal five way for the UWF tag team titles on Wrestle Mania.
Carly Caruso: But Naomi. who will be your tag partner if it does become a fatal five way at Mania.
Naomi: you really have a point there Ms Caruso. since I can't get my Husband to be my tag partner then I mind as well to search for one at Wrestle Mania cause I can't give them spoilers at Mania to see who's gonna be my new tag partner at Wrestle Mania they just gonna have to find out until Mania PPV on UWF.
Naomi: it's all about the Glow!
(Naomi walks away from Carly Caruso and continues talking)
Carly Caruso: there you have it folks cause next week on revolution Naomi. will be in action when she faces Becky Lynch. to see if the match will become a fatal five way or still the same match at Mania.
Carly Caruso: And we will see Naomi. next week until she gives our answer who her tag partner will be at Wrestle Mania if she can win her match over Becky. next week on Revolution on UWF.
[Scene fades when we head down to the next match of the evening with Tony Chimel with our sponsors]
Carly Caruso: Now Naomi. a couple months ago on Revolution you and your Husband Jimmy. was this very close to defeat DIY for the finals to see who would fight the Outsiders for the tag team titles and then Jimmy. will reunite with his Bloodline crew with Jey and the return of Roman Reigns when they take on G.O.D at Wrestle Mania any suggestions Naomi.
Naomi: Reason they force us to lose to DIY. is because there where a better team I'll give them that though because they really but up a good fight against me and Jimmy Uso on Revolution but in speaking of Revolution I don't have a match on Revolution for next week's show in that is why I;m going to EC3's office and ask him would it be nice to let me face the Lass Kicker or the Shaman herself Becky Lynch. to fight me in a match and if I win the match against Becky next week then that fatal four way will be a five way match for the UWF tag team Champion at Wrestle Mania.
Carly Caruso: but Naomi. what about your Husband Jimmy Uso. do you think that his team might win at Mania next month
Naomi: of course I have feelings for The Bloodline because after they get through with G.O.D at Wrestle Mania then the Bloodlines will take over UWF roster including the Show as well in that is why I have faith in the Bloodline because when they defeat Samoa Joe and his crew they better not ask them for a rematch for anything like that but anyways I just hope that the Bloodlines can walk out as the winner when they defeat G.O.D in a six man tag at Wrestle Mania on UWF.
Naomi: Oh and if Becky and Sami. does win there tag match on Revolution I wish both of them luck cause Becky will get her answer when I beat her next week in our singles match and if I win the match against Becky. next week then that match at Wrestle Mania will be now a fatal five way for the UWF tag team titles on Wrestle Mania.
Carly Caruso: But Naomi. who will be your tag partner if it does become a fatal five way at Mania.
Naomi: you really have a point there Ms Caruso. since I can't get my Husband to be my tag partner then I mind as well to search for one at Wrestle Mania cause I can't give them spoilers at Mania to see who's gonna be my new tag partner at Wrestle Mania they just gonna have to find out until Mania PPV on UWF.
Naomi: it's all about the Glow!
(Naomi walks away from Carly Caruso and continues talking)
Carly Caruso: there you have it folks cause next week on revolution Naomi. will be in action when she faces Becky Lynch. to see if the match will become a fatal five way or still the same match at Mania.
Carly Caruso: And we will see Naomi. next week until she gives our answer who her tag partner will be at Wrestle Mania if she can win her match over Becky. next week on Revolution on UWF.
[Scene fades when we head down to the next match of the evening with Tony Chimel with our sponsors]
The cameras fade into a dark room, barely lit by the lights in the background. In the foreground lie two chairs, one of which occupied by Michael Cole.
Michael Cole: ”Hello ladies and gentlemen, today I have been asked by UWF star Kevin Steen to have a chat about his actions on last week’s Revolution. Now Kevin, some say that you were out of line for the attack on AJ Styles, but you seem to have some choice words for those people, as you told me previously.”
The camera cuts over Cole’s shoulder, now focusing on Steen sitting in the chair across from Cole.
Steen: ”Well, Michael, the truth of the matter is that those people who are calling me out, calling me an aggressor, saying that I had no right to have assaulted The Phenomenal One, but if you went ahead and actually paid attention to that entire talk between the two of us, you’d know that it wasn’t me who was out of line, but Styles. You see, I did nothing wrong in that encounter. I maintained respect for him, I told him where he was wrong, and what does he do, when I tried to show him the same respect he showed me way back before I became the bigger star out of the two of us? He slaps me across the face, and then has the gall to goad me into attacking him as if he thought I wouldn’t do it. Now, I don’t know where you were raised, Michael, but in Marieville, Quebec, Canada, when someone slaps you across the face...that just means that they’re begging for you to kick their ass. So that’s exactly what I did.”
Cole: ”Yes, as plainly told through the headbutt and package piledriver you gave him, but still this was brought to the attention of Ethan Carter who, as many of us know last week returned as the general manager of Revolution, and he booked a match between-”
Steen: ”No, Michael...I know what Ethan did, that wasn’t a match he booked. Quite simply, it was a war. Hey, that should be good news for you though, shouldn’t it? You’ve reported wars before, right Michael? This should be right up your alley then. I mean, you’ve already seen murders, you’ve seen people killed in the act of war, so really there isn’t much that I can do to Styles that would faze you, right?”
Cole clears his throat, growing more uncomfortable by the second.
Cole: ”Y-Yes, Kevin...I’ve reported wars, so I would be...honored to call your...your war against AJ Styles at Wrestlemania-”
Steen: ”Woah there, Cole train slow down. I never said that I would have you on the commentary team, I just said that if you were on there, you wouldn’t be fazed by what I do, unlike the cowards that Ethan employs and calls a ‘commentary team’ but even then, I doubt that he’d let you call that match, he’d claim some sort of ‘bias’ towards me on the team...kinda funny when you look at who is on that announce team and see how one brain can be shared between three different idiots, but that’s besides the point Michael. The point is, AJ Styles disrespected me and everybody else in the locker room when he asked for that World title shot. Now, quite frankly, I couldn’t give two shits about those guys in the locker room, and if they have a problem with that then they can come tell me that face-to-face, but if he wants to play as some arrogant little prick? Believe me, I’ll enjoy knocking him down a peg...or maybe turning him into an actual peg by driving his head through the mat, who knows?”
As Steen maintains a calm, sinister smile on his face, Cole tugs at his collar for a second before looking back at his interviewee.
Cole: ”Well, Kevin that’s all the time that was allotted to us, so thank you for the time.”
Steen: ”No, thank you Michael...thank you for volunteering yourself as an example-”
Without hesitation, Steen jumps out of his chair and begins pummeling Michael, knocking his chair over as well and raining fists down onto Cole. He grabs the announcer and lifts him to his feet, a noticeable gash on his forehead, before then kicking his head nearly clean off with a superkick. The cameraman backs up for a second, but when Steen looks at him, he simply gives a toothy grin, and he walks off. The camera focuses on Cole for a second, before then fading back to the commentary desk.
Tom Phillips: ”Well, if that wasn’t an obvious enough message to AJ Styles for what’s to come at Wrestlemania…”
Corey Graves: ”I may have to have a word with him later tonight about that line about me…”
Mauro Ranallo: ”You? That was to us, Corey-”
Corey Graves: ”No, he said there was one brained shared between the three commentators, and I think it is obvious who is the one with the brain at this table.”
Mauro Ranallo: ”Oh? Then why don’t you say that to his face right now then, Corey?”
Corey Graves: ”Well, uh, that is...uh, I-I can’t leave the announce desk. It’s the commentator’s duty to stay here and call the action after all.”
Mauro just seems to give a knowing look to Graves, as the camera moves elsewhere.
Revolution fades into AJ Styles already in the ring doing his prematchu rituals.
Tony Chimel: Already in the ring, A. J. STYLES!
Introduction: And his opponent! From Camden, England weighing 200 pounds, "Pain" Jimmy Havoc!!!
*we see jimmy coming down the ramp while receiving middle fingers from some members of the crowd, then jimmy turns to the ones giving him a middle finger, this scaring them, who then sit on their chairs, after doing this jimmy enters the ring and does a creepy smile before sitting on one corner of the ring*
DING! DING! DING!
The match goes underway and both men begin to circle each other. AJ's first match back and he's looking for some real good momentum. AJ goes for a quick low side kick at Jimmy's leg. Trying to get a feel for his opponent. Jimmy doesn't take to kindly and grabs him into a headlock. He then begins releasing fists into the head of Styles. He then runs and hits a running bulldog.
Jimmy quickly lifts AJ up and holds him up for a forearm. Then another. Then another! AJ stumbles backwards and Havoc goes for a running clothesline. AJ quickly gets back to his feet and receives a running dropkick!
Mauro Ranallo: Jimmy in full control of this one!
Jimmy begins to smile as he taunts to the crowd. He goes over to the ropes and leans on them yelling at a fan that's saying "he sucks." While Jimmy is distracted, he gets rolled up!
ONE!
TWO-
KICKOUT AT 2!
Tom Phillips: AJ Styles almost had him there! Jimmy getting too cocky!
Corey Graves: Very very close!
Jimmy rolls through as does AJ and they both stare down. Havoc goes for a right hook, but AJ catches it and catches Jimmy with a right uppercut! Jimmy stumbles backs a hit, but ends up getting hit by a fury of combinations strikes and ends with a spinning backfist, but Jimmy ducks and as he comes back up, he gets hit with the Pele kick!
Mauro Ranallo: Jimmy may be lights out here!
Styles goes for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT AT 2!
AJ bangs on the mat in frustration. He gets up and starts hitting some nice knee drops on Jimmy Havoc! Styles gets him up and hits Jimmy with a uranagi backbreaker onto his knee. He hits it a second time and looks for a third! BUT NO! On the third time Jimmy Havoc leaps his arm over AJ's head and spikes AJ with a big DDT!
Jimmy Havoc quickly pulls AJ away from the ropes and goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-
KICKOUT AT 2 1/5
Jimmy gets up and argues with the ref. The ref and Jimmy get in a bicker war and allow AJ to get up. Jimmy turns around to see AJ coming with a running forearm and ducks. AJ instead hits the ref and the ref gets taken out. AJ looks stunned for a second staring at what he just did and gets clocked with an object to the back of his head! AJ in visible pain turns around to see Jimmy smiling and begins nodding his head as AJ reluctantly pulls a fork out from his head. Blood begins to gush, but AJ isn't gonna let this stop him!
Mauro Ranallo: AJ JUST GOT STABBED WITH A FORK!
Corey Graves: How sadistic! This is inhumane!
AJ tells Jimmy to bring it and he does! Jimmy begins wailing on AJ with lefts and rights into the corner. AJ falls down into the corner and Jimmy begins stomping on AJ! Styles is sick of the attack, so he grabs Jimmy's foot and begins to get up and hold it up to where Jimmy is on one foot and Styles is standing. AJ spins him around and grabs him into a German suplex into the corner! Jimmy rolls into perfect position for a 450 splash!
Tom Phillips: Jimmy may have set himself up here!
AJ climbs the top rope and scouts his target. He then jumps and goes for the 450 SPLASH! BUT NO! Havoc got the knees up! AJ holds hit stomach in pain as he gets back to his feet and gets caught with a Superkick! AJ is about to falls over, but Jimmy grabs his arm and pulls him into the Lung Blower! The ref has been up and Jimmy makes the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-
KICKOUT AT TWO AND A HALF!
Jimmy doesn't hesitate and lifts AJ for the Acid Rainmaker! As he goes for the swing, AJ ducks all the while hooks his leg behind Havoc's and rolling him through for the Calf Crusher! AJ WRENCHES HARD AND HAVOC MAY LOOK TO TAP HERE!
Mauro Ranallo: CALF CRUSHER!
JIMMY IS IN PAIN, but he's able to drag himself to the ropes slowly, but surely! The ref is asking him if he wants to tap, but Jimmy won't give up.
He grabs the ropes!
ROPE BREAK!
AJ releases the hold and begins charging up his finisher. He's waiting for Havoc to get to his feet. Havoc pulls himself with the ropes and turns around straight into a gut kick! AJ pulls his head under his legs and taunts. He pulls Jimmy up and hits the STYLES CLASH!
Mauro Ranallo: SURELY THIS IS IT!
Tom Phillips: AJ may have just won it here! This is AJ's opportunity!
HE ROLLS HAVOC INTO THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING! DING! DING!
Tony Chimel: HERE'S YOUR WINNER… AJ STYLES/b]
Mauro Ranallo: Much needed win for Styles here tonight in his first match back!
Corey Graves: This year has just gotten phenomenal.
Styles gets up and celebrates his victory! The referee holds up his arms and victory and asks if he wants medical attention for the blood seeping from his head. AJ denies as he wipes the blood off his face and looks towards the crowd with exhaustively. He leans and does his phenomenal taunt to the crowd with blood on his gloves as Revolution rolls on.
The live feed cuts to pre-taped footage of Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch
Sami Zayn: Tonight, Becky and I have our first match together as a tag team. We know everyone has this little bit of doubt in the back of their minds about us. I mean we're not exactly the most typical tag team. We're breaking boundaries. For the first time in UWF history, a woman is competing for the Tag Team Championships. That's what all the headlines seem to be focusing on when they should be focusing on the fact that we're the favorites heading into this match. A combined 6-1 record for us. This isn't some publicity stunt, this is two stellar athletes coming together to rid this company of corruption. DIY call us underdogs but with a record like that, how exactly are we underdogs? I may always be seen as an underdog but looks can be deceiving, just take a look at The Man.
Becky Lynch: Our opponents tonight had the audacity to dismiss Sami getting powerbombed onto concrete an hour before his match and then went on to complain about a toothpick. A toothpick? Really? Let me tell ya' somethin' kiddos, if a toothpick is all it takes to beat you, you're gonna have a bad night. Who have you two bozos beaten anyways huh? The World Warriors? You mean those team of losers who didn’t know when their savior was standin’ right in their face? And then Jimmy Uso and Naomi? Been there, done that. You two had a cakewalk on the way to the tag team titles and yet you still managed to lose. So aside from that, you else have you beaten again? Oh yeah Edge and Christian? Well Sami, didn’t you beat them too?
Sami Zayn: Sure did!
Becky Lynch: Huh and who else? Oh is that all? Tell me somethin’ why on earth are they so confident? Don't worry though boys, take no shame is losin' to a couple of fiery "underdogs". Sooner or later, The Man comes for everyone.
The duo smirk as the live feed goes elsewhere.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first and already in the ring... "Broken" Matt Hardy!
Hardy spreads his arms wide and gives the fans a demented smile as they cheer on him, he goes back into his corner
Tony Chimel: And Introducing his partner...
The screams fill the arena as Ultramantis Black accompanied by Dr. Cube step out through the curtain. Ultramantis Black raises his staff as he walks down to the ring. Dr. Cube laughs Maniacally as the Devious one enters the ring.
Tony Chimel: “Coming down to the ring from The Black Tea Garden, The Great and Devious ULTRAMANTIS BLACK”
Ultramantis Black kneels down in the center of the ring holding the staff chanting a mantra.
Tony Chimel: And Introducing their opponents...
Out of the Black by Royal Blood begins to play, and the fans already begin booing the arrival of the New Sumerian Death Squad. Aleister Black walks out from behind the curtain first, WALTER not far behind him. They stop at the top of the ramp, surveying the area.
Aleister looks out upon the sea of people, with a look of disgust on his face. WALTER stands right behind him, acting as a sort of enforcer. They then begin walking down the ramp and approaching the ring.
Tony Chimel: Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 525 pounds... Aleister Black and Big Van Walter, Sumerian Death Squad!
After making a left turn around the ring, Aleister slides the Television Title into the ring, before pulling himself onto the apron and launching himself over the top rope into a seated position in the middle of the ring. WALTER picks up the belt and makes his way into the ring himself, before handing it to Black.
WALTER then stands tall behind him, hands behind his back in his signature pose. After Black gets up, they make their way to their corner of the ring and chooses who goes first, not without waiting intently for their opponents to make their way to the ring.
DING DING DING!
The bell rings and the experienced duo of Black and WALTER get along just fine as they decide Aleister will be the one starting the match but on the other side Black and Hardy are having a hard time deciding on a starter and after a while, Hardy leaves the ring, leaving this as the battle of the blacks and at first it seems like they're evenly matched as they both go to a collar & elbow tie up and it doesn't seem like anyone manages to get the advantage and after a while they both stop at the same time and just stare at each other for a second, you can cut the tension with a knife, two other-worldly characters with similar body types meet and no one knows what to expect, they are a bit cautious and after a moment of just staring Black backs into his corner and tags in the big guns, WALTER who, with the speed with a jaguar, charges Mantis and drops him with a big boot right to the face, he follows the boot by jumping into the air and dropping all of his 310 lb (or 140 kg for the people who use the right system) on Mantis' lungs with a huge senton! he instead of turning around he lays on top of Mantis for a pin
1...
2.
NO!
It looks like WALTER underestimated Mantis who instead of kicking out normally he hooks both of WALTER'S arms and manages to flip over for a crucifix pin!
1...
2...
NO!
WALTER explodes up as he kicks out and looks at Black with a furious, bull-like look in his eye but the Dark magic master stays calm and as WALTER goes for a lariat he catches it and falls backward, making him fall face first with the Brainwashing Effect! WALTER bounces right back up, holding his face and Ultramantis is right there behind him looking to hit another signature in the form of a Full Nelson Slam but WALTER'S too heavy! he manages to lift him up only a little much to the disbelief of the fans but it's not enough as WALTER breaks Black's grip and throws him forward but Black gracefully lands on his knee and he points to Aleister, telling him to come in
Mauro Ranallo: I wouldn't have done that if I was Ultramantis, Black is our television champion for a reason!
Tom Phillips: You saw what he did to Chris Masters last week, I believe that he's got this.
Corey Graves: Alright Phillips has officially lost it, can someone come and get him and find some replacement? anyone but him.
WALTER looks at Aleister who stares at Ultramantis and after a few seconds, reaches out with his hand, calling for the tag which WALTER obliges to, Black enters and the other Black stands up and it looks like they're about to tie up again but this time Aleister surprises Black with a STIFF kick to the leg followed by a kick to the stomach followed by a knee to the gut and ending with a kick to the face! Ultramantis stumbles back, holding his nose and when he turns around Aleister tries to finish it with the Black Mass but Mantis ducks under! he quickly postures back up tho and manages to get a hold of Black's arms and he proceeds to pick him up and slam him down with the Full Nelson slam! Ultramantis knows it won't be enough and instead of going for the pin he picks up Aleister and turns him around before crouching and getting between Aleister's legs and then he postures up, getting in the perfect position for the Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex! Black stumbles backward a bit as he tries to find his balance and that puts him right in Hardy's range for him to tag himself in! Black didn't seem to notice as he lands the move and goes for the pin and doesn't realize why the ref isn't counting! he lets go and tries to argue but then he sees Hardy standing over him, smiling his demented smile, Black gives him a death stare and Hardy keeps looking at him as he makes his way into their corner, turning his back to Aleister in the process but he quickly realizes he can't do that and he turns back around to land a leg drop on Aleister's head! he then immediately goes for the cover
1....
2..
NO!
The TV champion kicks out but it doesn't look like it mattered much to Hardy who still has the same crazy smile on his face as he starts doing the DELETE! to rally the crowd and they support him, he picks up Aleister and drops him back down again with the Side Effect! this time tho Hardy doesn't go for the pin as the sounds of DELETE! from the fans were addicting to him and he wants some more, he begins walking around the ring with his signature arms stretched pose while yelling WONDERFUL! he does that for way longer than he should tho as Aleister manages to crawl back to his corner and tag in WALTER who immediately charges Hardy and explodes onto him with a Shotgun dropkick!
Tom Phillips: Welp, Hardy's dead.
Mauro Ranallo: It was a good run
Corey Graves: No it wasn't, the crazy freak sucked
WALTER immediately follows up the dropkick by grabbing Hardy's pants and pulling him back to his feet where he picks him up and drops him with the Golden Bomb! he isn't done tho as he picks up again and hoists him up onto his shoulders and then he rams him into the corner! Hardy falls down to the mat, lifeless but WALTER doesn't go for the pin, instead, he tags in Black and picks Hardy up once again but this time he drops him onto Black's awaiting knees to complete the Fade to black! Black goes for the pin while WALTER keeps himself ready for interference by Ultramantis that surprisingly never comes, he just stays at his corner, staring
1...
2...
3!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners... the Sumerian Death Squad!
WALTER and Black celebrate their victory by posing to the hard cam while EMTs rush to check on Hardy while Mantis simple leaves and Revolution heads elsewhere
Brrring brrring…..brrring brrring...brrring brrring…
Miz: ”Damnit, Chris...now is not the time to be ghosting on me, man.”
The camera fades in on Miz at his home in Hollywood, California, trying to reach someone on the phone but it obviously not working.
Miz: ”Of course...of course now, when I’m needing to discuss strategy with him for the match at Mania, he’d ghost on me. Whatever, I probably will get his new number from whatever burner phone he brings to the arena, so maybe then I can talk to him? Whatever...next on the list, then?”
Miz looks down at his phone again, scrolling through contacts before stopping on one simply labelled “Blackheart”. He presses a set of buttons, and then puts it to his ear again.
Brrring brrring…..brrring brrring…..brrring brrring…
”Sorry, but the person you are trying to call is not currently available at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep-”
BEEP
Miz: ”Heyyyyy, Blackheart...hopefully that eye is all set from last week? Anyways, just wanted to call to let you know...no hard feelings about last week? I know now you were only coming out to stop that traitor and his new missus from causing a DQ, and that the punch was just instinct so...long as that doesn’t happen again soon, hopefully we can put this aside and just have a friendly competition at Mania? After all, it’ll be the best team who wins, and we both sure as hell know that The Outsiders aren’t the best team, and Sami and Becky...quite frankly they aren’t even a team, let alone the best one! So...yeah, sorry for rambling but, talk to you later. Tell Rebelheart I said hi, by the way!”
click.
Miz slumps against the wall of his house, before making his way over and sitting down on the couch and just looking blankly at the ceiling.
Miz: ”Friendship...or the titles…..?”
Miz sits there for a few seconds, silently contemplating in his mind the answer to that question.
Miz: ”I mean, does it matter? Ethan doesn’t want to listen to me and my demands for a shot at Aleister, gave it to some nobodies instead, so...does the match really matter? I mean, what’s the worst-case scenario? Oh no, we lose the match that I don’t care enough about because it isn’t the match I want. But...winning the Tag Titles may FINALLY get me the hell away from the nWo…..yeah, that’s an easy question to answer then.”
Miz then stands up again, taking the phone once more and scrolling through contacts.
Brrring brrring…..brrring brrring...brrring brrring…
Miz: ”Not even to voicemail, just dead call...can’t even be bothered to try and put a facade of caring about what I say, huh Ethan? Well...maybe just winning the Tag Titles and going through the motions until you give me what I want will do it, then. I’m coming after you, Aleister, whether it be in a week, a month, half a year, a year, however long...I’m going to get you, and I’m going to beat you...thinking you’re so high and mighty, preaching like you were infected by The Light of Destruction…”
Miz continues to rant as he leaves the room, the cameras fading out after a second of nothingness and empty mumbles from the other room.
Roman comes out from the back to cheers. He calmly walks down to the ring as Chimel makes the introductions.
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing the Bloodline, Roman Reigns!
Roman makes it to the ring and goes to the corner and throws his fists into the air. The crowd cheers and he jumps down and waits for his opponent.
the lights blackout and smoke starts coming out from the ramp as the signature guitar sound of El Desperado starts playing and the crowd went ballistic on him
He walks out of the curtain playing his guitar and carrying his boss's UFC world heavyweight championship pretending to not be hearing the roaring fans booing him
As Despy is halfway to the ring the song switches to the graceful sound of Minoru Suzuki's signature song
The crowd turns silent as Suzuki comes blazing through the curtain, his eyes dead set on the ring
While Suzuki walks down the ramp El Desperado snatches Tony Chimel's mic out of his hand and introduces Suzuki himself... in Spanish and only then in English
Presentando ... de Yokohama, Japón, el actual campeón de peso pesado de UFC del mundo y el hombre más malo del planeta ... Minoruuu Suzuki!!!
Desperado throws the mic back to Tony Chimel so he could properly introduce him while he plays his guitar, walking away
Introducing... From Yokohama, Japan, standing at 5'10 feet and weighing in at 225 pounds... the current UFC heavyweight champion and the baddest man on the planet... Minoru SuuuuzukiIiii!!!
He finally finishes the long ramp walk and without missing a beat, he bypasses the ring in front of him and walks to the other side, there, he gets on the apron and turns around to the crowd, clapping his hands and telling them to clap their own as a sort of insult to them.
"He turns around and enters the ring between the middle and top rope while The ringside choir screams:
KAZE NI NARE!!!!
Now that he's in the ring he takes off his towel, gives it to El Desperado who's waiting on the apron, they fist bump and Desperado jumps off the apron and Suzuki starts stretching, waiting for the bell to ring
DING DING DING
Tom Phillips: Roman Reigns is back in the UWF and I for one am excited.
Corey Graves: Of course you are Phillips but I'm here to burst your bubble with a little truth. The only reason he's back is because EC3 wants to see him get beaten down again.
Suzuki just stands across from Roman, not really giving him much as he feels he's way above the former International Champion. Wanting to prove his dominance and power, Roman steps to the middle of the ring and raises his arm up. He looks at Suzuki and nods, asking for a test of strength. The UFC Champion looks back at him, his facial expression not changing one bit, a look of almost boredom coming from it. He steps in front of Roman and raises his hand as well, accepting the test of strength. They go to lock fingers on the other hand but as soon as they do, Suzuki headbutts Roman!
Corey Graves: Haha! What an idiot! What did Roman think was gonna happen!
Mauro Ranallo: Uhh, Corey, did you not see last week. Looks like Suzuki hasn't learned his lesson!
Roman just gets a look of anger on his face after the headbutt. It didn't phase the Samoan at all and Roman returns the favor with a headbutt of his own! Suzuki goes down but Roman still has his hands interlocked and doesn't let Minoru fall to his knees. He instead picks him back up, wrapping his arms around his body and then throwing him with an overhead belly to belly suplex! Suzuki rolls out of the ring to get some breathing room but Roman stays hot on his trail. He exits the ring and runs all the way around to build some momentum before connecting with a jumping clothesline that knocks him to the floor! Not yer satisfied, Roman picks up Suzuki and tosses him back into the ring. He slides in after him and measures him and he slowly gets to his feet. Once up, Roman comes jumping at him with a superman punch but Suzuki catches his arm and forces him down to the mat, looking for a fjuiwara armbar!
Roman tries to fight free and uses his size and strength advantage to power out and knock Suzuki away from him. Roman runs at him once more but Suzuki surprises him with a drop toe hold that makes him fall onto the middle rope. The UFC Champion places his knee to the back of Roman's head and starts to choke him out while the ref makes the count. Suzuki backs off before he gets disqualified but then just walks back over and does it again. The ref gets on his ass but there's nothing he can do as Suzuki backs away before the five count. This time he goes back and picks Roman off the ropes, wrapping his arms around his waist and throwing him high on his neck with a german suplex. He then goes for the cover.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Roman kicks out! He starts coughing and grabbing at his throat from the attack but he's not free from danger as Suzuki comes over and stomps down hard on his stomach, causing him to sit up only to get kicked right in the chest. Suzuki is all too pleased with himself but his expression changes when he looks towards the stage to see Adrian Neville standing there with his arms crossed, staring back at him.
Corey Graves: What's he doing out here? He's got no business being here.
Mauro Ranallo: He's returning the favor and scouting his opponent before Wrestlemania.
Minoru looks at Neville and grabs a fistful of hair bringing Roman back up to his feet. He's look directly at Neville as he throws Roman's head between his legs, looking to end thing already with his Gotch Style Piledriver but when he bends down to grab Roman, the Big Dog powers out by throwing him overhead with a back body drop! Suzuki tries to get up right away but Roman is waiting for him. He whips him into the corner, running closely after him to collide with a stinger splash. Suzuki is dazed and Roman capitalizes with a big sit out powerbomb! He stays on him for the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Suzuki kicks out! Roman walks over to the corner and lets out his signature yell before slamming his fist into the mat, waiting as Suzuki grabs onto the ropes to help pull himself up. Roman patiently waits for him to turn around before running at him, this time connecting with a Superman punch! Suzuki falls and lands on the bottom rope, his head and arms hanging to the outside. Roman smiles and exits the ring. He runs around the corner to build some momentum before leaping up and nailing him with the drive by! Suzuki rolls to the center of the ring and the Big Dog slides in, laying on top of him for the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Suzuki kicks out! Roman again walks over to the corner, knowing it's time to finish the match. Suzuki starts to stir, wobbling around as he's a bit dazed from the attack. He turns around just as roman comes sprinting forward, going low for the spear but Suzuki instead knees him right in the face! Roman is stunned and the UFC Champion quickly capitalizes with Gotch Style Piledriver! Not satisfied, he turns Roman so that he can look right at Neville as he applies the sleeper hold! The ref waste little time in calling for the bell.
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, Minoru Suzuki!
Neville snarls before walking to the back. The Usos comes running down the ramp past him to check on their cousin. Suzuki and Desperado head up the ramp but as the Usos are checking on Roman, their suddenly attacked by Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa! The G.O.D. beat them down why Samoa Joe calmly walks down to the ring. Roman is slowly coming to, not aware what's going on. He looks to see Jimmy getting beaten down and shakes his head. He's about to protect his cousin when he's grabbed from behind and Samoa Joe puts him right back to sleep with the Coquina Clutch! The ref tries to stop him but Joe keeps the hold locked in until he says it's time to break it. He finally lets go and the G.O.D. stand tall to a chorus of boos from the crowd as the show goes elsewhere.
Palmer Cannon is sitting in of his office, unassuming as ever. There's a stack of paperwork piled up on his desk that he's furiously trying to attend to. So much paperwork, the nature and purpose of which still remains a mystery, despite Scoops McCallahan's finest investigating. But that's another story. There's no knock at the door before Kyle O'Reilly barges in. Palmer looks up, mortified and frustrated by the distraction. The Diabetic Dragon storms into the office and paces frantically around the 12x10 room, threatening to absent-mindedly tip over the potted plant while he buries his face in both palms. Though not booked to wrestle tonight, he's Donald Duck'ing it, wearing his trunks and a t-shirt. That's not an important detail, really.
Cannon: Kyle... please... I already told you that this company annual donation to the L.D.I.P.F. is more than generous and we're not interested in -
KO'R: No. It's not that, Cannon. Ugh. You wouldn't understand.
The love-struck Canuck throws himself down into the chair on the opposite side of Palmer's desk and vents.
KO'R: It's... I just... I think I'm... like... I dunno... love?
Cannon: I actually think Bruce Pritchard should be the guy you talk to about -
KO'R: I've never met anyone like him before! The way he wears a mask... and all that leather... and he's so nice.... but the leather, too... and like... OK, so I was in a youth group in high school, right? The Delta Presbyterian Church ran it on Thursday nights. I mean, I'm Irish Catholic but this one was kinda like court-ordered after I practiced submissions on the kids at school and my Doctor was on that "good influence" kick or whatever and and anyway, it doesn't matter. They gave us purity rings one night, and Palmer, you know me. A promise is a promise. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been sexually pure since that night - February 13th, 2003.
Cannon: That's like... sixteen years. Jesus, Kyle. That must've been hard.
KO'R: Yeah. It was. All the time. But I stayed true, Palmer. I stayed true. Until one night two weeks ago, Dr. Chris gave me all these Z-packs and it's like a wake-up call and Despy's there and he's so freakin' hot and next thing I know he sucked that purity ring right off of me.
Cannon: Please stop talking now.
Kyle groans and collapses down on to the desk.
KO'R: That's just the thing! I can't stop. I can't stop thinking about him. Ever. He's like an insulin shot that never ever wears off. He's... he's the cure to diabetes. My heart's diabetes. I need him, Cannon.
Cannon: Well... uh... I guess you should just be open and honest about your feelings with him and see where that goes.
KO'R: Yeah but every time I try and express myself in a sincere way, I get scared of the feelings and then Slipknot starts playing in my head and I just end up punching a hole in the nearest drywall.
Cannon: Huh.
KO'R: What am I gonna do?
Despy: Marry me?
Kyle turns around to see El Desperado kneeling in the doorway, basked in a halo of light from the hallway. He's down on one knee, hands outstretched with a ring waiting. It's Kyle purity ring, violated by human saliva and adorned with what is probably a stolen diamond. O'Reilly doesn't hesitate. He bolts up, knocks over the chair, and runs over to his Despy. He takes the ring, slides it over that ring finger and the two superstars embrace right there in the doorway of Palmer Cannon's office.
Cannon: Congrats. That's really sweet. But I'm so busy. So if you guys could go somewhere else to plan your wedding...
Outta nowhere, Alicia Fox falls through the ceiling tiles in a heap on the floor. Dust and debris clutter around and fill the air, but Foxy is quick to her feet. She brushes herself off and frothing at the mouth, says...
Fox: Did somebody say "wedding planner"?
Cannon: What were you doing up there?
Fox: HAHAHA. I've been following these two for weeks. Foxy knows true love when she smells it. Now come on you two, we've got work to do if we're gonna have it all planned by next week!
KO'R: Next week? Is that too soon?
Despy: No. Next week can't come soon enough.
KO'R: But Larry won't...
Despy: I don't care.
KO'R: And Minoru doesn't...
Despy puts his finger over Kyle's lips, silencing him.
Despy: Shhhh. It's just us now. We're all that matters.
Fox: Hahahahaha! FANTASTIC. Now let's get out of here. We need to pick colours.
KO'R: How about plaid?
Despy: And leather black!
Fox: Let's look at some samples!
With that, the trio heads out of the office, leaving Palmer with a big ol' mess of ceiling on the floor and still, that mountain of paperwork. Revolution continues elsewhere.
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
The fans pop once the music hits and Sami comes out dancing as always while Becky calmly walks out with confidence in her step. Sami tries to get her to start dancing after the "Let's Go!" portion but she tells him no and instead heads straight down the ramp.
Tony Chimel: From Montreal, Quebec, Canada and Dublin, Ireland respectively. Weighing in at a combined weight of three hundred and forty-seven pounds. The team of Sami Zayn and, “The Man” Becky Lynch!
Sami dances his way to the ring anyway as Becky remains determined and serious looking. As the two enter the ring, they get ready for the match ahead as the introductions continue.
Tony Chimel: And the opponents...
As the theme of DIY is heard resonating throughout the arena, we see both Johnny Wrestling and Tommy Sports Entertainment appear at the top of the stage. The two look at each other and nod before looking ahead and making their way down the ramp.
Tony Chimel: From Cleveland, Ohio and Milwaukee, Wisconsin respectively. Weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred pounds. The team of Tomasso Ciampa and Johnny Gargano, DIY!
Johnny and Tommy enter the ring and look at their opponents as they prepare for the ensuing contest.
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, in the corner of Sami and Becky it is decided that Becky will start the match for the team as Sami steps through the ropes and stands on the apron. In the opposite corner, seeing that Becky is going to be starting the match, Johnny wants to begin things as Tomasso steps through the ropes and stands on the apron. The two competitors approach each other and begin circling one another, Becky with her fists up in a fighting stance as Johnny has his hands up as well.
Johnny suddenly charges but Becky catches him with an Arm Drag that sends him across the ring. As he hits, he’s up quickly and charges her again only to be taken down with another Arm Drag as Becky holds on and wrenches the arm upward, placing her knee at Gargano’s shoulder. After causing Johnny Wrestling a satisfactory moment of discomfort, Becky relents as Gargano gets up holding his shoulder but charges offensively, this time getting taken down by a lariat.
Much like with the Arm Drag scenario, after getting hit with the lariat, Johnny is back to his feet and once again goes after “The Man” but is taken to the mat by another lariat. Johnny is back to his feet but isn’t there long as Becky takes him down a third time, this time with a leg lariat as, after connecting, she rolls forward along the mat and back to a vertical base, posing as the fans cheer her.
Tom Phillips: Johnny Wrestling getting outwrestled here by Lynch.
Mauro Ranallo: This young lady certainly has no fear in this intergender situation.
Corey Graves: No but I’d say Tomasso does looking at his partner’s chances.
Gargano gets up and, seemingly not educated by how it has gone so far, charges at Becky. She goes for another arm lariat but he ducks underneath and leaps up, reaching back and grabbing her head as he connects with a Jumping Neckbreaker! Johnny gets up not long after impact is made and is sizing up his opponent as she starts to stir back to her feet.
Becky turns around as Gargano goes for a superkick but she sidesteps to avoid it and grabs his arm, managing to roll and soon Johnny finds himself in the Cross Armbreaker! As Gargano suffers in the hold, Lynch doesn’t seem like she’s going to be nearly as merciful this time and let go of the hold. Johnny still doesn’t have to suffer long though as Ciampa enters the ring and leaps onto Becky, hitting her in the head with a double axe handle to break up the hold before exiting the ring and returning to the apron.
Gargano gets up and shakes his arm, trying to get the feeling back, as Becky kips up and catches him with a right hand to the mouth. Johnny staggers into the ropes as Becky runs at him but he throws her with a Snap Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex as Lynch lands awkwardly on the apron on her way down.
Tom Phillips: Oh my!
Mauro Ranallo: MAMMA MIA! Becky Lynch may be paralyzed after that one!
Corey Graves: Well Gargano succeeded in defending himself but I don’t think he wanted it to go down this road.
After what feels like an eternity of tension, Becky sits up and starts climbing to her feet as the crowd cheers as they are arguably witnessing a miracle. She holds her neck with one hand but still climbs up onto the apron and steps back into the ring. Gargano goes from looking concerned to looking angry as Becky is taunting him much like she did earlier in the week as she can be seen mouthing the question, “Is that all you got?”.
Johnny goes to hit her but Tomasso stops him. Gargano looks back at him and Ciampa tags himself in as the two men trade places. Tomasso immediately hits Becky with a knife edged chop as she cries out in pain and takes a step or two back. Ciampa winds back and connects with another, yielding the same response. He goes for a third as she grabs his arm but that turns out to be a trap as he blasts her with a punch using his other hand and grabs her, connecting with a quick DDT.
As Becky is dazed, Tomasso applies a Hammer Lock to one of her arms and applies a Chin Lock with his other hand, wrenching on the chin as he forces Lynch’s head at an angle.
Tom Phillips: Tomasso is doing everything he can to agitate that injured neck here!
Mauro Ranallo: Ever the aggressive one, that Ciampa.
Corey Graves: I hope he leaves enough of her jaw intact to eat that humble pie she’ll have served to her after this.
As Becky cries out in agony, Sami decides to do what Ciampa did earlier as he enters the ring and kicks him in the back of the head before exiting the ring and returning to the apron. As Ciampa falls to the mat, Becky heads over and tags Sami in as he leaps over the top rope and drives his knees down into the body of Tomasso. Ciampa sits up coughing as Sami guides him to his feet and then throws him forcefully into the nearest turnbuckle.
Tomasso hits the corner as Sami charges and hits him flush with the Helluva Kick! As Sami backs away, Ciampa falls forward to the mat flat onto his face as Zayn goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Ciampa gets the shoulder up at the last possible moment as Sami gets up to create some distance between them before delivering a stomp to the abdomen. Ciampa begins rolling away as Sami follows, delivering another stomp every few steps. As they get to the far ropes, Ciampa tags in Gargano unbeknownst to Zayn, who continues to stomp on him. Johnny launches himself over the top rope and hooks Sami’s head as he spins out and swings his legs around, spiking Sami’s head with a Tornado DDT.
Sami hits and ends up on his feet as he staggers forward into the ropes. He leans for a moment, then turns and starts back in Johnny’s direction as Gargano goes for a superkick but Sami manages to sidestep and grabs him, reversing into a Blue Thunder Bomb!
Tom Phillips: Sami looked out on his feet! How did he do that?
Mauro Ranallo: What ring presence!
Corey Graves: Looks like it took a lot out of him though.
Corey is right, as Sami can’t go for the pin the move ends with as he and Johnny both lay there on the mat. Sami holds his head with his hands, visibly dizzy from the sequence that just occurred, as he sits up and continues to hold his head for a moment. Zayn grabs the ropes and uses them to aid him on his way back to his feet. Once there, he lingers a moment before it seems like the dizziness is gone when he feels a slap on the shoulder.
As he looks back, Becky has tagged herself back into the match as she steps through the ropes and goes after the downed Gargano. Sami returns to the apron as, when Becky goes to grab Johnny, he rolls and hits her with a Listo Kick as she staggers back into her corner. Gargano gets up and charges her, driving his knees into the upper body before falling backward and monkey flipping her to the center of the ring.
Becky hits the mat and is up to her feet as she shakes off the daze and turns to face Johnny but as she does, he connects at last with the superkick! Lynch staggers, trying to keep on her feet, as Gargano grabs her up over his shoulder and charges the far corner, throwing her face first into the turnbuckle with a move he calls You’re Dead!
Tom Phillips: Oh my!
Johnny pulls her a bit away from the corner and rolls her over, going for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THR...NO!
Just when it seems like this one is over, Becky’s leg touches the ropes as the fans cheer in disbelief. Gargano gets up and has that same disbelief on his face, clearly dealing with an opponent that’s tougher than he thought. Johnny looks serious now as he turns her over and leans down, applying a full nelson as he pulls her upward, her legs going back and around his waist before he turns her, releasing the full nelson, and dropping her on her face.
Mauro Ranallo: MAMMA MIA! The Hurts Donut!
Johnny rolls her onto her back and again goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THR...NO!
Once again, it seems as though DIY have this one in the bag but Becky, still showing some fight, gets the shoulder up. Gargano gets up to his feet, beside himself, as he heads over and tags in his partner. Lynch starts crawling toward Sami but Tomasso is determined that she doesn’t make it there as he charges across the ring and throws a punch at Sami. Zayn avoids it though and headbutts Ciampa as he’s sent staggering backward.
Ciampa shakes off the daze and goes after her, grabbing her just as she’s tagging Sami. Not seeing the tag, he pulls her towards him and places her head between his legs, turning around as he hoists her up. Tomasso hits Becky with the Project Ciampa as he goes for the cover, but the referee isn’t counting.
Ciampa gets in the referee’s face but as he’s yelling at the official, Sami Zayn grabs him from behind and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb! Sami goes for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here are your winners, the team of Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch!
The new tandem celebrate their win as Gargano and Ciampa head up the ramp. They hug before going to different corners and posing for the crowd on the turnbuckles as the feed heads elsewhere.
Nash: I thought midget wrestling was outlawed or at least frowned upon these days?
Hall: Whaya mean, Big Kev?
Nash: Look at the guys that we're facing at Mania! I don't think anyone is taller than like 5'9. Maybe Jericho. Maybe Sami Zayn.
Scott Hall looks confused and pulls out his phone.
Hall: Hey yo, Google...how tall is Chris Jericho?
Google: Hey there, Bad Guy. Here's what I found. Chris Jericho's billed height is 6'0.
Hall: Oh cool. Hey yo, Google. Who is Sami Zayn?
Google beeps with a reply as Hall shrugs his shoulders.
Nash: I mean, we've already beaten DIY. Maybe this time I can kick Gargano in the shin to make him hop around on one leg to go with that eyepatch, that way he could be an angry pirate.
Hall: At least there's a hot chick in the match. Hey, I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes?
Nash: Hey, hey hey! Easy! It's 2019! There's womens' empowerment and people who are easily offended and all that. Too bad Rick retired...we could definitely have used him at ringside. Just his presence would be enough to make Miz blow a gasket.
Hall: How is Rick anyways?
Nash: He's still pretty banged up from where that freak Vinny got ahold of him. He hasn't heard from Eric either. It's like Eric just disappeared. Kinda like Christian. And Edge. And Lita...huh....we're kinda dropping like flies, man.
Hall: Eh, with the exception of Rick, it's all just dead weight if you ask me. You think he'll ever get back in the ring again?
Nash: I don't know, man...he aggravated that back injury he had years ago again....he's in pretty bad shape. Not to mention Vinny carving him up like a pumpkin.
Hall: Kinda makes me worry about our boy Sweeney, too.
Nash: Yeah, I'm worried about "Fearless Leader" myself...which...speaking of that. Seeing as its just you and me...did you vote for him to be leader? I know I didn't.
Hall: I think he just kind of did that himself. Took it upon himself to claim an open spot.
Nash: Yeah...we'll see about that.
Drip, drip, drip.
The feed comes into focus in the backstage while the almost-rhythmic dripping of a leaking faucet shows that, clearly, this is a place in the arena that is oft neglected. Suddenly, the dripping stops. There's a crackling energy in the air as though something had cut through it, and then a sucking sound like being inside a vacuum. A bright flash of light consumes the shot. When it fades, a man, stark naked, is kneeling with his back to the camera. The scene is very Cameronesque. The man stands, his musculature on full display as he walks down a hallway. A security guard conveniently patrolling this area of the arena steps in his way.
Guard: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
The man's head turns slightly to regard the speaker, his long brown hair swaying as though in a slight breeze. He speaks, his voice familiar and yet not.
Man: What year is it?
The guard seems almost amused by the question, and yet somehow also annoyed.
Guard: Nah, buddy. That old time-traveller prank's not going to work on me. Come on, let's go.
He puts a hand on the man's shoulder and tries to force him to turn around and move along. Big mistake. The man grabs his arm, runs for a wall, runs up the wall and flips behind him. The camera loses sight as the man moves quickly, kicking the guard into the cameraman. Both of them go down. There's some loud, 90s-style kicking sounds as the shot, shaky, catches glimpses of the action. The security guard is thrown into the wall. He gets up and charges the mystery man and gets hip-tossed to the floor. There's a scuffle and then, silence. Followed by the sound of a man being frisked or, perhaps, undressed? At last, the cameraman manages to find his feet. He picks up his camera and turns the lens toward the now nude body of the security guard, before panning up to reveal the man who had previously appeared in the buff, but who is now fully clothed in ill-fitting security gear.
Camera guy: Hey, mista! Where do you think you're going?
The mystery man's head turns toward the camera, but not enough for his face to be visible.
Man: To talk to the man in charge around here.
And off he goes. The camera man doesn't even think to follow as he calls for a medic. The drip, drip, drip becomes audible again as he sets the camera down again to tend to his fellow UWF employee. The feed moves along.
"Destroyer" starts to play through throughout the arena, the crowd stands up as the roar of the theme hits and you see the curtains fly open as Joe comes out on stage and starts to walk down the ramp with a swagger that matches each step with the beat of his music as he looks straight ahead with a serious face while the crowd chants in unison with the music "Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!". Joe turns towards the steps looks at the front row as the crowd are swaying back and forth to his theme shouting his name, he smirks before turning around and running up the steel steps.
Tony Chimel: From Huntington Beach, California, Weighing in at two hundred and eighty two pounds...He is the Samoan Submission Machine...Samoa Joe!
Joe steps into the ring and in time with the announcement of his name he spins around taking the towel off his neck and lifts up his hand in a Shaka hand gesture.
Joe lowers his hand and cracks his neck to one side stepping back into the corner, he hangs up his towel in the turnbuckle and bounces on his feet for a moment shadow boxing as he prepares for his opponent.
YOW!
Velveteen's theme starts, and Velveteen Dream comes out from Gorilla, looks at the crowd and poses. The crowd has mixed reactions to the Dream. They are impressed by his wrestling skills and promo work, but he can treat them with disrespect sometimes when he lets his ego inflate.
Tony Chimel: Making his way from Capitol City, Washington D.C, weighed in at 227 lbs, he is your Intercontinental champion, "the Experience," the Velveteen Dream!
Velveteen then proceeds down the ramp in a very flamboyant, cocky, way. Completely sure he will beat his opponent and whoever tries to mess with him.
Velveteen Dream gets into the ring and spins around making sure everyone can experience the true experience of Velveteen Dream, showing off his beautiful and amazing body and attire. Once he finished spinning, he gets down and rolls on the ground
Making sure everyone can see him right in the middle of the ring doing what he does best, which is being better than everyone.
He then gets on his stomach, pushes himself backwards, stares at the camera, and gets up. He then takes out his mouth guard and puts it on, ready for his match.
DING! DING!
The match begins and Joe has one hand low and another up to the middle of his chest. He then steps forward to go to strike up Dream, but Dream holds his hand out and shouts “WAIT!” Joe does so, and Dream throws his hands behind his head and swivels his hips at Samoa Joe with vigar, much to Joe’s disapproval.
Joe then quickly lunges at Dream, and Dream notices that Joe is coming for him, so goes to jump through the ropes, but before Dream can hop through them, Joe grabs a handful of Dream’s hair. Dream screams to stop the tight grasp on his head from Joe, but he isn’t letting go. Joe then pulls Dream back through the ropes and then grabs him into a headlock.
Corey Graves: Dream playing mind games with a man like Samoa Joe isn’t necessarily the best idea, and the evidence is right in front of us.
Joe then wrenches into the headlock and grounds Dream down and starts wrenching in on it. Dream then grabs a headscissors on the head of Joe in the grounded headlock, slaps the head of Joe in the hold. Joe then turns around and pivots Dream into a seated position. Joe then lifts his head out of the hold and boots the head of Dream down to the mat.
Joe then dusts off his hands, and then suddenly snaps back down to Dream with a boot to the chest of the grounded man. Joe then sits up Dream, and he clutches at his chest where he’s just been stomped. Joe then steps in closer to Dream and spits on his hand, he then slaps hard onto the back of Dream’s head, back and neck area. Dream swings his head back in agony to this.
Mauro Ranallo: Ouch, we usually see those to the chest but any damage to the neck is damage that is important at the end of the day.
As Dream is writhing in pain, Joe swings and then kicks right at the chest of Dream, hitting him down hard to the mat. Joe then takes a couple of steps back and drops the knee down on the neck area of Dream, making him clutch it even more. Joe then throws Dream back to the mat and covers him for a pinfall attempt.
One…
Dream kicks out at one. Joe quickly gets back up to one knee and looks back down on Dream. Joe then grabs up the arm of Dream and then leads him back up to his feet to perhaps dish out some more offense in on him. Joe then whips Dream over to the ropes, but Dream twirls over the top rope backwards and lands on his feet on the apron.
Tom Phillips: The Velveteen Dream constantly proving his place here in the UWF with impressive maneuvers like that one.
Dream spreads his arms out wide in a signature Dream pose. Joe then runs at Dream on the apron with his arms out wide, and then bell claps him on the sides, sending him crashing down to the floor. Joe then waits for Dream to get back up to his feet, and then runs to the other side of the ring and dives out through the middle rope onto Dream!
Tom Phillips: When you see a man like Samoa Joe flying through the air, you know for certain it isn’t going to be a good ending for the recipient of the landing.
Joe looks around as Dream crashes down to the barricade. Joe then beats his chest to hype himself up for what he just did, and heads over to Dream, laying there in pain. Joe grabs the head of Dream and leads him up. The referee starts the count.
1!
Joe leads Dream over to the apron, and then he wacks Dream’s head against the apron, bouncing him off like a basketball. Joe then gets a hand full of Dream’s hair and then goes to throw him against the barricade, but Dream reverses and throws Joe straight into the barricade instead.
2!
Dream clutches onto his forehead and rubs it after that bash he suffered at the hands of Samoa Joe. Dream then climbs up on the apron and then lines up Samoa Joe for a potential crossbody attempt off the apron. Joe gets back up to his feet, but as Dream readies to fly, Joe runs straight up to the apron and levels him into it.
Corey Graves: Slammed right into the apron!
3!
Joe walks around the ring and then rolls in through another side, and then rolls Dream into the ring. Joe lifts the head of Dream up and then gets him up to his feet. Joe then lays a knee into the chest of Dream, and then another, and then another, and then a kick to the chest, and then a final knee to his head.
Joe then runs up and delivers a senton to the midsection of Dream and then rolls over and then hooks the legs of Dream.
One…
Two…
Dream kicks out at two from the offense dealt out by Samoa Joe. Both of them roll over to opposite sides of the ring and grab the middle rope. Dream clutches his neck, and Joe runs over to the other side of the ring and Dream boots Joe right in the mouth. Joe stumbles back slightly and Dream gets off the ropes.
Mauro Ranallo: The Velveteen Dream making his way back into this match!
Dream then grabs the head of Samoa Joe and then swings up and delivers a strong european uppercut to his jaw. Joe stumbles back some more into the corner and then Dream runs up into the corner and hits Joe with a clothesline into the corner. Dream fires up the crowd as he’s making his way back in.
Tom Phillips: Samoa Joe has been dominant throughout this matchup guys, can the Intercontinental Champion capitalise on this sudden gain of power?
Dream rolls through on Samoa Joe, and lifts him up onto his shoulders, perhaps looking for the Dream Valley Driver to put this one in the bag. Suddenly Joe elbows the head of Dream once, and twice, and three times, and then he’s free off the shoulders off the Dream. Dream then scoops him up on his shoulder.
Joe then tucks the head of Dream down and then throws him down to the mat, sitting out with the Island Driver. Joe then covers Dream to see if he can finally finish him off.
One…
Two…
Dream kicks out at two from the Island Driver, but Joe then scoops up the head of Dream and lifts him to his feet, Joe then whips him over to the corner and begins laying in body shots, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine… Joe then places Dream to sit on the top rope and shakes his finger in disapproval for the crowd wanting a tenth.
Corey Graves: A very dangerous position to be in with a man like Samoa Joe.
Joe then hooks Dream up onto his shoulder in the Muscle Buster, and holds the legs tight. Joe walks to the middle of the ring and then drops him down with it. Joe rolls over and hooks the legs for the cover on him.
One…
Two…
Three!
DING! DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner via pinfall, Samoa Joe!
Joe holds his hands out wide in celebration, after getting off Dream. The referee goes to raise his hand but Joe shrugs him off. Dream rolls out of the ring in agony, and Joe gets out of the ring, with his signature hand gesture up, he heads to the back.
In an age desperate for a hero, comes a man…
Strong, lightning fast, and unyielding in his fight for good, his passion for fighting crime had become enormous as word spread of the UWF’s wasteland, caused by an evil influence…
Now, with a land over ran by outlaws, egos, and villainy, he has traveled far and wide from his lab of research to put an end of this terror. With a heart of diamonds, and a mind full of justice and freedom, a super hero makes his grand debut against these forces of torture. Citizens of the UWF, be afraid no longer. Villains of the UWF however, beware, you’re in for a scare as the crime fighter of the millennium is on his way! But most importantly for all those in attendence-
STAND IN THE BACK, THERE'S A HURRICANE COMIN' THROUGH!
The feed cuts to the office of EC3 where he's standing by with a message.
EC3: Wrestlemania is shaping up nicely. I've noticed however that there's quite a few people who aren't too happy about not making the card. To that I say, step it up and maybe you'll make it next year.
EC3 laughs but quickly composes himself.
EC3: I'm only joking. Kind of. If you want a higher profile match, prove to me that you deserve it. There's still a few people who don't have a match whether their newcomers who just didn't debut soon enough to veterans who simply have failed to live up to their previous offerings. Regardless, you'll each have a shot to impress in the classic Wrestlemania battle royal. The winner will get a special prize, that prize to be revealed at a later date but trust me, it's one you'll like.
EC3 smirks at the camera as the feed fades out back to the ring.
SWEET N' SOUR INC.
That old classic hits the PA, catching the fans off guard for a moment but they're quick to catch on and dole out the spite. It's Hard Times, baby, and those big, shiny words scrawled across the titantron garner as much ill will and putrid enmity from the UWF Universe as they did the last time they were seen some three months ago.
Ranallo: Sweet n' Sour Inc? What about the nWo?
Graves: Now this is interesting....
The Triple Champ makes his grand entrance, decked to the nines in full regalia. His UWF Transatlantic Championship and his Technically Unified UWF Television Championship title belts are draped over his shoulders, while his Undisputed UWF Championship (which of course, also encompasses the final iteration of the UWF International Championship) is wrapped tight around his waist. Larry Sweeney struts his stuff down the entrance ramp, ignoring all the boos and animosity while his iconic funk theme music blares through the PA's. Absent are any of the nWo members. The Outsiders aren't by his side, and neither, notably, is his bodyguard, Kyle O'Reilly. However, Sweeney's most dangerous weapon is already held in hand as he climbs the steps up into the squared circle. A microphone.
Phillips: EC3 said that Larry Sweeney would be out tonight to make a statement addressing his Wrestlemania main event title defense against Vinny Marseglia. I think we're about to get all the answers we're looking for.
Taking a moment to soak up the spotlight, Larry doesn't rush to get things going. He parades his prized title belt collection around the ring before taking to the center of the canvas. The music fades, the crowd settles down, and finally, the Triple Champ speaks.
Sweeney: One year ago, almost down this exact, very day... Larry Sweeney made his grand debut as a singles competitor on the UWF roster. That night I became the UWF Transatlantic Champion - making me the first, and only man, to win a belt on day one here. But I promised you people that bigger and better things were comin' down the pipe. Hand over heart, I swore that I'd do Mama and Papa Sweeney proud. I declared right then and there that I'd flip this whole damn show over on its head and shake out its pockets for all it was worth. I told ya I'd change the game. I put a bullseye on the throne and made it known that the man sittin' on it was just keeping it warm. And for three-hundred-and-sixty-five odd nights - consecutively - I've done exactly that.
Here's another number for ya. Two-hundred-and-twenty. That's days and nights since I beat Chris Jericho to officially become the UWF Champion. Longest reign in history. Another number? Six. That's championship defenses. The most that Revolution has ever seen - and by a landslide. Impressive, huh? Tell me about it. But for all the records I've rewritten, and all the numbers addin' up in my favour, there's just one on everyone's mind now.
He holds up a single, solitary index finger.
Number one.
And points it back at himself.
As in there's only one person fit enough to sport all this hardware and call himself the best in the world. And there's only one man who's gonna walk outta Wrestlemania as the world champ and kiddos, you're lookin' at him now. And on top of all that, there's only one man necessary to do the job. Edge and Christian took dirtnaps. Rick Rude's gone, baby, and he took Easy E. with him. Scotty and Big Kev got there own business to handle and I honestly have no freakin' clue what's up with Kyle O'Reilly right now but guess what? It doesn't matter.
The simple truth of it is that I - Larry Sweeney - came into this company all on my own and I won all these titles and broke all those records and made it to Wrestlemania. Me. I'm the genius behind the success. I'm a self-made man and once in a lifetime talent and if any of you bozos think that I need the nWo to hold on to the empire that I built from the ground up, ya got another thin comin'. This cat's got lives to spare and I've got more tricks up my sleeve than every magician in Vegas. I sure as hell didn't come all this way to flop on the Grandest Stage of 'em All.
He shakes his head "no", takes a moment to catch his breath from all the ranting and raving, and then continues.
Which brings us to The Horror King. Ooooooooh. Spooky man. Vinny Marseglia. The monster under the bed. The skeleton in my closet. The ghost around every single corner just waitin' to pop out and scare the bejezzus outta me. It's all hocus pocus. Smoke and mirrors. And I'll be honest with ya, he's done pretty well for himself stickin' to the gimmick. But Vinny - yeah, I know you're somewhere out there listenin' right now - know this. Know that come Wrestlemania, that spotlight is gonna be shinin' down on Ol' Larry brighter than ever. So bright, that there'll be nowhere to sneak out of. I'll see ya comin' a mile away, pal. You'll be exposed. Nothin' to hide behind.
And I know... I know you think that you've got me in that same predicament. My pals are all gone. There's nothin' between us now. An even playing field, ain't that right? Right. So let's have it that way.
See, last time you and I had a match - I match that I by all rights won - you couldn't help but give in to your basic psychotic instincts and bring that axe o' yours into the ring. The world's sharpest crutch, more like. But that's one advantage I'm not gonna let you have this time. The element of surprise. Here's what I want. No holds barred. No rules. Nothin'. Notta. No advantage for the man who thinks he's the only one smart enough to pack some heat. No shockers from the jerk who's whole to-do is catchin' folks off guard. It's just gonna be you and me and a title on the line and when it's all said and done, one of us gets it.
The fans actually pop for the suggest stipulation, although Larry's catlike grin suggests that there's something fishy in the water there.
So what's it gonna be, Vinny? Or is the resident monster too afraid to -
Suddenly Larry is cut off as the lights go out. With the darkness enveloping the arena, a combination of instrumental sounds is heard over the PA system for several seconds before the titantron screen lights up with an image.
As the crowd reacts, the instrumental building, screaming vocals suddenly come in.
”GET ON YOUR KNEES
AND BOW
DOWWWNNNN!”
As the screaming prolongs and the instrumentation picks up, suddenly the lights come up and there stands Vinny in the ring.
Vinny Marseglia: Right now I’m sure that if you got that hand of yours x-rayed, someone in view of it would remark that as frequently and fervently as you pat yourself on the back, it’s a wonder that you haven’t fractured it and can still hold a microphone to take them on these self-congratulatory spiels. And maybe it’s the tendency to go on those spiels that has you using tired accusations and picking low hanging fruit but whether absence has made you forgetful or the talk about me being smoke and mirrors is you blowing smoke so that you can stand to look at yourself in the mirror, I don’t mind letting you know that there isn’t anything I’m afraid of doing or anyone I’m afraid of doing it to.
But there are several departed you know that were very afraid, and I tell you this because I know that even though your mouth and body language communicated indifference, it’s eating you alive that you’re traveling lighter and don’t have the NWO anymore. Every person that’s no longer here because of me: they were terrified, Larry. What you didn’t see the night that I carved your name into Rick Rude’s back or last week at that hotel Edge and Lita were staying isn’t just how gruesome a condition that they were left in, but the look on their faces when it all came to an end.
When the pain and the fear and the feelings of helplessness mixed with the knowing that I wasn’t going to show mercy and you weren’t going to save them, it all resulted in the same thing: adults weeping like children, crying themselves into that final slumber. If I could develop those mental pictures, I’d hang them all over every locker and hotel room you’re going to be in between now and Wrestlemania.
At Wrestlemania, you’re going to get put in that condition yourself. Because that’s what a no rules match means to me is anything I can think to do to you, I have the means of the environment and the encouragement of the stipulation to do so. I accept your challenge, but I want to take it one step further. I don’t want to simply pin you or submit you. I don’t want to just knock you unconscious. I want to kill you. So instead of No Holds Barred, I’m proposing what I call a Last Heart Beating match.
Ranallo: The gauntlet has been thrown down! Vinny Marseglia has upped the ante and demanded what is surely the UWF's first ever "Last Heart Beating" match!
Phillips: Is that as terrifying as it sounds?
Graves: Somebody get this maniac a straight jacket already!
Larry can't hide the twitch above one eye, or the slight tremble in his hands. But the Triple Champ tries his best to play it cool.
Sweeney: Haha! Not so fast their, punk! This ain't your main event. It sure as hell ain't gonna be your Wrestlemania moment, either. You're my guest, waaaaaaaaaaay up here at the top of the mountain. You mighta climbed outta that dog pile they call the Rumble with the bone in your mouth, but all that means is that you were on point for one lonely, lonely night. Me? I've been kicking butts and taking names twenty-four-seven for a whole damn year now! All that to say is that it's really just the one of us that's the bonafide superstar here, and you're lookin' at him! So what I say goes and I'm not about to let you throw your weight around like it's that axe! There's no way in hell you're picking the stip -
The crowd, far beyond impatient with Sweeney and everything he has to say, gets riled up. A chant picks up in some distant corner of the arena and it catches like wildfire...
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
And before long, it's deafening. They're not stopping or slowing down. Larry's irate about it. He rushes to the ropes, turning his back on Marseglia while he screams directly at the fans.
Hey! Shaddup! Shut your filthy yaps you ungrateful pissants! Don't you know who I am? Huh? Don't you people know what I've done around here! I ain't afraid of nobody! Here me? NOBODY! I'm the Triple Champ! I'm Larry Sweeney! You think I'm afraid of him?
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
I'm not afraid! You're all afraid! You're afraid of how dumb you're gonna look when I beat up your next previous knight in shining armor! Yeah! Haha! That's it! You're terrified! Downright terrified that I'm everything I say I am and he isn't!
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
SWEENEY FEARS VINNY
*CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
That's enough! That's it! I've had it!
Sweeney wheels around and storms up to Vinny, too pissed off to be worried, he gets right in his face, nose-to-nose.
Last Heart Beating, huh? Think you're in my head? Think you're a step ahead? Is that it? That you're out-gamin' the guy who wrote the book? Ha! Okay! Fine! That's what this Championship means to you? Well wait till ya see what it means to me, ya freakshow!
At Wrestlemania, you get what you've had comin' for a long, long, loooooooooooon time cause it's gonne be Mr. Sweet n' Sour, The Triple Champ Larry Sweeney defending his Undisputed UWF Championship against the likes a' The Horror King, Vinny Marseglia in a Last Heart Beating match!
The crowd abandons the chant as they burst into cheers and applause. It might be the first time ever that Larry Sweeney said exactly what they wanted to hear.
Vinny Marseglia: You’re right, I am going to get what I’ve had coming for a long time: an opportunity to dismantle the spectacle that is Larry Sweeney. For every past opponent that came back around again, The Miz’s and the Triple H’s and so forth, you hoped and you wished and you prayed that Vinny Marseglia wouldn’t find a way or a reason to come after you again but there’s always a way and a reason, Larry.
Because even if we didn’t have a score to settle, in a company with ever-changing faces and alternating numbers, there’s still only so high I can stack the floor with bodies or stuff the closet with skeletons before yours gets added to it and there’s only so long you can puff your chest out and boast about being great before you have to prove it against the other most dominant entity in the company. It’s going to be difficult to prove that though because if you want to stop my heart, you’re going to have to find it first.
Vinny steps towards Larry, who takes three steps back, sneering all the while.
Sweeney: And come, you bet your ass I will. Unless somebody else finds it first. It might just be me and you mano a mano at Mania, but while we're talkin' hearts... ahaha... let's just say mine wasn't the only one you broke these past few weeks. You shoulda finished 'em all, Vinny! Hit the music!
Larry points up to the ramp and the nWo theme blasts through the PA while the blank-and-whites take over the massive screen. Scott Hall and Kevin Nash saunter on out, sporting their UWF Tag Team Championships.
Ranallo: Why am I not surprised?
Graves: Anyone who counted the nWo out or thought Larry Sweeney didn't have a plan coming out here tonight is an absolute imbecile. He waited until Vinny played his hand before he showed is. The man's a mastermind.
Phillips: Marseglia's as lone wolf as it gets, too. He hasn't made many friends in the UWF - I can't imagine he has backup coming out to even these odds.
Ranallo: The Horror King finds himself at a rare disadvantage, with the majority of the company hardware holders circling like vultures.
Graves: What goes around comes around!
Hall and Nash reach the ring and climb to the apron. Vinny braces himself for an attack, circling the ring with Sweeney like some kinda standoff until he's standing opposite the three members of the New World Order. Larry has the smuggest smile on his face. He throws up the Too Sweet gesture. Hall and Nash follow suite...
And then switch up their hands so they're flipping Sweeney off. His back is turned to them as he's focused on mocking Marseglia, but the sudden change in the atmosphere in the crowd lets him know something's up. Their unanimous boos become excited cheers and Larry spins around to find himself on the butt end of some heinous flyin' birds. The Outsiders shake their heads, disgusted, and hop off the ramp, leaving The Triple Champ high and dry and alone with the number one contender.
Phillips: Like you said, Corey. What goes around comes around.
Graves: What the... they can't just... but... what the hell is going on here?
Ranallo: The nWo has had Larry Sweeney's back at every turn, but what did he ever do for them? Where was he when Hall and Nash were clawing their way through the tag team tournament, or when Rick Rude squared off against Dream, or when Marseglia started picking them off one by one? These are just deserts, and revenge is a dish best served cold, gentlemen.
The nWo music fades out as Hall and Nash disappear into the back. Larry, a petrified mask adorning his mug, cautiously pivots to find Marseglia standing just inches behind him. The Horror King raises a hand to strike but Sweeney dives down through the ropes quicker than a hiccup. He hits the floor, hops the apron and stumbles into the crowd in a clumsy fluster, desperate to get as far away from Marseglia as possible. In all the kerfuffle, he left his three title belts behind in the ring. Vinny picks up the Undisputed UWF Championship - the only one that matters to him, and raises it up over his head, challenging Larry to come back and take it. But Mr. Sweet n' Sour isn't looking back as he scrambles for the nearest exit, more than happy to live to fight another day.
A packed house chants the Horror King's name while they get used to the sight of him holding world championship gold. Marseglia's music hits and he drops the belt back on the canvas. Evidently, he can wait a few more weeks to officially make it his property. Sweeney stares back one more time as Marseglia stands over his gold, the show fading out.
END OF SHOW
Confirmed for Wrestlemania
UWF Championship
Last Heart Beating
Larry Sweeney(c) vs Vinny Marseglia
Credits
Havoc vs Styles - Max
Dream vs Joe - Semi
Suzuki vs Roman - Danny
NSDS vs Ultramantis/Hardy, Neville vs Kaval - Bodor
Marseglia vs Batista, DIY vs Sami/Becky - Dresden
