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Post by Dres on Jan 28, 2021 18:27:18 GMT -6
Styles does a quick scan of who all is present as he picks up his microphone.
”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: At the risk of this being taken as a challenge, I have to ask, can it get anymore mediocre? I mean I know I’ve already declared victory and said no one filling out the other twenty-nine spots was going to hold a candle to me, but even in your failure, I thought out of everyone that I haven’t beaten that was going to be in this match, I might actually get someone worth beating. Instead I get Muhammad Hassan. What, Sabu couldn’t make it? Iron Sheik was busy? Kane, Taz, and Samoa Joe were all booked? Hell, I’ll go to the store right now and buy a towel for someone else to put on their head and talk if it means I don’t have to listen to you. I mean, at least Dolph and Rick got the novelty act thing going for them. You? You’re like a spoiled, naked banana: you’re brown and you lack appeal.
Speaking of the novelty acts: Dolph Ziggler. It’s just about come full circle, the way I see it. You started your career carrying Chavo’s golf bag, and in a few weeks you’re going to end it unable to carry AJ Styles’ jock. But me aside, and this is a rhetorical question, but how many of these things have you actually won, “Mr. Royal Rumble”? You’re just another guy carrying a moniker you can’t live up to. Optimistically speaking, they say that if you miss your shot at the moon, at least you’re among the stars. But realistically speaking, that doesn’t mean much when your star is about to burn out. Not that you’d shine brighter than me anyway.
As for the other novelty act, wow. Rick Rude. The, “Not-So-Ravishing” Relic. Who in the hell dug this fossil up? Because they need hit in the head with the freakin’ shovel they used. If 2021 was synonymous with Rick Rude in any way, I would think it’s because you finally had the good graces to drop dead but here you are, trying to trade in your orthopedic shoes for your old wrestling boots again. Well even if this is a one-off, it’s one too many, Rick. You need that porno stache slapped off your face if you think you can hang with AJ Styles. You’re going to embarrass yourself trying, but you know what? Good. It’s good that all three of you are here because I’ve got no problem in putting a few more bullets in the head of UWF’s past.
But don’t worry, there’s plenty of ammunition for UWF’s present. And that brings me to WARHORSE. You need to quit sniffing those Sharpies you draw on your face with, kid, it’s making you forget whose gimmick you’re biting. You’re the Dime Store Ultimate Warrior, not the Goodwill Dolph Ziggler, talking about how good you think you are when you aren’t. You talk about your power and aura that no one can handle, and you say I’ve been stationary, but the way I see it you’ve been handled by everyone you’ve stepped in the ring with so that equates to you being just about powerless. And if I’m stationary having won a title since being back and having just knocked off CM Punk, you don’t even have a pulse.
But before I get to Punk, there’s Chris Jericho. What, are you bringing back Right To Censor? I know this is a sensitive, offended, culture canceling society we live in these days but do you honestly think I care about who I piss off? Because I don’t, and I don’t fear karma either because guess what? I’ve learned from underestimating you that karma can hurt, but considering I still live and breathe, I can tell you it doesn’t kill. So I’ll keep saying what I want and doing what I want and all you or anyone else can do is keep pouting about it.
And on the topic of pouting, that finally brings me back to Punk. My first question for you is if this place, the UWF, the house that AJ Styles built, is such a gutter, then why are you still here? Because sitting at home on your couch alternating between putting your thumb on the joystick of a game controller, up your ass out of boredom, and in your wife gets a little old, I’d imagine, especially when it doesn’t come with a paycheck. Throw in a bit of gluttony for punishment, some need for distraction from yourself, and a whole lot of ego and you’ve got a cocktail of reasons. Ironic for the straight-edge guy, but it gives your palate something other than your own Kool-Aid, all this whine you’ve been making out of sour grapes, and Pepsi.
Well drink this in, because being in the presence of the winner is the closest any of you are going to get to winning.
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Post by Fauche on Jan 28, 2021 21:22:34 GMT -6
Unable to hide his second-hand embarrassment for the Intercontinental Contender, CM Punk sheepishly scratches the back of his head - the tell-tale sign of biting the bullet well you pass along hard news - and starts with Styles.Punk: Nice to see that the unflappable sense of self-importance hasn't been hampered by all these living legends calling you out for being an overrated prick, AJ. These guys? A wave of the hand makes for vague gesture to those gathered around the ring.Some of the winningest champs this company has ever seen. All praise and glory and thanks to our beloved Demi-God for blessing them with the opportunity to shine, even if you're not too impressed. After all, what did a Ziggler or a Rude or a Jericho ever do that you couldn't? Me and them and everyone else owes you a massive debt of gratitude for just getting the chance to show up and show the world how far we still have to go before we could ever be counted as "Phenomenal". Meanwhile you'll just sit up there on your title-less throne and cast your judgment... ya know, keep us in check. Well enough alone, all by yourself. Never mind the Carters or even the McMahons - Styles is the royal family here at the UWF. Shit, you're a family man unto yourself. Dad's puns, mom's haircut, the maturity of a child. You're practically the whole nuclear unit.
So can I just say, from the bottom of my heart on behalf of all of us in the ring here... thank you. We wouldn't have a Royal Rumble or a Wrestlemania worth fighting for without you. This is all because of your generosity. Your kingdom come. One of these days you're gonna have to help me understand how you can be so proud of "the house you built" while trashing everyone in it and everything about it. Ooops. Just kidding. I don't give a shit.You're so far removed from common sense and rational enlightenment that Anne Sullivan wouldn't even bother trying to reach you. Why should I? You wanna live in the bubble of the fiction you've created? Cool, man. I watched Jericho march in there and take what he wanted before. I'm not gonna be surprised when he does it again, and armed with knowing what a smarmy, spineless slug you are now, I'm gonna take mine if we end up back in this ring at the same time. Two huge L's in a single night and you'll be the man heading into Wrestlemania with the worst case for a title shot. That's gonna sting. Can't wait to hear you brag some more about your god damn "house" when you're fighting some schmuck like Miro or Guevara in the undercard.
And speaking of...The Straight Edge Superstar melodramatically cranes his neck towards the entrance ramp, then back to the crowd standing with him in the ring before blinking wildly in disbelief.I can't believe my eyes! You've got this one night a year when the lottery comes through town - every person on the roster given the same chance to punch the ticket to Wrestlemania. So uh... where is everyone? Where's that next generation of hungry talent chomping at the bit to show their stuff? Where's the kid who's gonna come out here, put fingers in chests and tell all us old timers to stand down or get put down, hmmm? I'm not trying to "back in my day..." anybody here cause shit, apparently it's still "my day". A ring full of former world champions, but where's our promising future ones? Here I am hoping the husky Rusky or Sammy or Winter or Alexander are gonna come make a statement but what? Do we need to send soccer mom backstage to unplug the video games first so they can get to work? What's the deal here? How the fuck is WARHORSE the only young gun drawing guns in the center of town tonight?
No offense, dude.Turning to WARHORSE to offer that apology, he gets a good look at the absolute clown of a superstar and recants.Scratch that. Some offense definitely intended. Back to the other wrestlers...I mean... look at this motley crew of sons of bitches. It's lacking. Half of you are booked in other matches on the show, and half of you haven't even stepped through the ropes in years. I'm the only guy declaring for this thing that's gonna be anywhere close to fresh. I hate to brag or take credit for circumstance, but fellas, I'm liking my odds here. Dolph, buddy, long time no see and I always love hearing Bowie play when you come through town, but me and you both know I'm one of the few guys who's always had your number. No worries though, even if I'm coming first, history has shown us you're still gonna find your way to the podium. Nobody but nobody places second in the Rumble like you do. And speaking of silver medals, not only have we been graced with the reigning Intercontinental Champ, but also the best one - whatever that means - in history. Punk offers up the slightest of bows to Y2J and the Ravishing One, picking them out from the pack.Chris, as I've already tried to explain to AJ here, there's just no way in hell you come out of that TLC in fighting shape, especially going into it outta shape. I'll be cheering for you, though. Now Rick, damnit if you're not still lookin' like a million bucks! Abs for days, you've always had that going for you. Never quite able to win the big one though, huh? Maybe tonight's your night, but I'm kinda thinking that without Hall, Nash, Sweeney, O'Reilly, Edge, Christian, Bischoff, all the king's horses and all the king's men, you're just not gonna be able to get much done. Nevertheless, credit where it's due and as it stands now, you're the sexiest man here. Just like you said. Can't really see how it'll help, but in a night where I get to be the only winner, we'll have to hand out some serious consolation prizes for all the bruised egos. He scratches his chin while circling the ring, looking for stragglers. Then he spot Hassan. The afterthought of an entry almost got lost in the crowd, but Punk isn't about to leave any stone unturned.I don't even know you but I'm pretty sure you're actually Italian, so easy does it there, fella. You can take your leaning tower of cultural appropriation and the righteous brotherhood of Jihadi excellence bullshit and shove it up your ass. The biggest tragedy "your people" ever faced is when Bowser kidnapped your Princess and hid her in another castle seven times. Maybe Daivari there's not playing dress-up but I don't see him signing up for this thing, so I'll just leave him out of it. Cause I'm not a bully. I'm actually a pretty okay guy, once you get to know me. The crowd chimes in, chanting "pretty okay guy" to that "Nick Fucking Gage" kinda tune. Punk smiles, stops to listen for a bit, then directs his opponents' attention to it.See what I mean? They think so, too. And hey, look. Listen. Besides the fact that most of you will be hobbling out of the triage by outside Gorilla to compete, or that it'll take a double dose of cortisone to even make that walk possible, I'm not gonna act like my being healthier or fresher than literally each and every one of you jerks is going to be the deciding factor. My talent is. Now I can appreciate that a few of you vets are just here for a payday and the glory pop and I'm not mad about that. We don't have a union or pension plans - I'll never fault the boys for making a buck where there's a buck to be made. But I can see it in your eyes... Dolph... Rick... that you're starting to buy into your own hype a bit. You're like Lloyd Christmas, convinced that there's even chance when for God's sake, there just absolutely, definitely and certainly fucking isn't. No more than big-match-drop-the-ball WARHORSE has, or Styles and Jericho have after they throw out their backs and crack their hips following off a bunch of ladders through a bunch of tables on to a bunch of chairs.
Somehwere out there in the bowels of Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the oddsmakers are watching trying to pick a favourite and it's gonna be me by a simple process of elimination. Remember that kid's board game Guess Who? Does he have a history of back problems? Has your guy been sitting on the beach in Florida for Lord knows how long? Will your guy have concussion symptoms flaring when his number gets called? One by one the pictures get tipped over as you weed out every unlikely candidate. Yeah, I know, goofy comparison, whatever. It's all true. I would've loved to be the guy that wins the most competitive Royal Rumble ever and it'll mean a little bit less when I clear out the one with the legends roster and the lost generation but it is what it is and I'll take it. Better than one of you yankee doodle assholes sticking the feather in your hat and calling it macaroni. The last thing anyone needs is some delusions of grandeur around here.Punk's rant ends with a dry, annoyed venom. He leaves the floor open for whatever one of them wants it, though he isn't particularly interested in what anyone has to say.
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Post by crann on Jan 29, 2021 10:44:00 GMT -6
Dolph seems almost bemused as Punk finishes his latest diatribe. The self-proclaimed Mr. Royal Rumble clicks his tongue on mic before he begins his reply.DOLPH ZIGGLERWell excuuuuse me, Mr. Sanctimonious. You're really going to pretend you're here for reasons that are different from my own? You talk about the payday or the glory... the only thing that brought you back was your need to satisfy your own ego and prove to the world that you still have what it takes. That's the very same thing that brought me back here. I'm not going to lie and say that a cheque with seven zeroes on the end of it wasn't my initial temptation, but then when I thought about what a golden opportunity it'd be to come back to the UWF at a time when there is a serious talent and charisma vacuum and finally win the one contest that has slipped through my fingers so many times, you bet your ass I was packing my bag and lacing up these boots. Thing is, I'm not hypocritical enough to run my mouth about how everyone else is inferior because they have motivations for being here. That's your game. I know that all 29 of the other men who come down that ramp on game night have some reason for doing it. But the fact is, their reason doesn't matter, because my talent trumps it. I'm not called the Show Off for no reason, it's because I'm the best damn wrestler who has ever competed in this company, I know that for a fact and I like to flaunt it. Did you get the better of me almost half a decade ago? Sure. Good for you. But times have changed, Punk. I know that long layoff doesn't seem like much to you because you spent most of it on an alcoholic bender after failing in your shot at Steen, but for the rest of the world? For the other guys in this ring? We're all looking at you and wondering where Mr. Pipebomb went and why this whiny, petulant child has replaced him.Ziggler turns his focus now to another age-old rival in Chris Jericho, and for a moment he has to contain himself from laughing before he begins to speak.Speaking of guys the years have not been kind to: Hi, Chris! I think you ought to leave that bottle of champers at catering because from the look of things, you've had a little bit too much of the bubbly in recent weeks. I mean, you were always the guy who dominated while rocking a dad bod but lately you look more like Saint Nick. I'm surprised you were able to walk down the ramp and didn't just tuck your head between your legs and roll down here, tubby. In case what I'm saying is failing to compute – I know your brain is about as booze-soaked as your body is steeped in sweat – I'm calling you fat. Not only am I calling you fat, I'm looking at you and I'm thinking it's an embarrassment that of all the men I allowed to run me out of the company years ago, it was you. But you're not the same man you were back then. You don't have the same desire in you, the same appetite. That Chris Jericho never would have been satisfied to hold the consolation prize that is your UWF Intercontinental Championship and he definitely wouldn't have bragged about it. How the mighty have fallen... and will fall, when I throw you over the top rope on Rumble night.The fans actually turn on Ziggy a bit here – fat shaming isn't cool. But he shrugs and says off-mic, "Just telling it like it is!" Next up: Rick Rude.You know, Rick, they say never meet your heroes and while I never really considered you much of a hero, I did at least borrow a little bit of inspiration from you in mastering my physique. The difference is, I'm standing in this ring today clean and sober and I don't think you've ever walked to a ring without doing a line of nose candy first. And while that might have been cool when you broke into the business back in the 80s, it just doesn't fly these days. You're going to be competing with guys who can go a mile a minute without a little bit of the nostril NOS, if you know what I mean. And you're going to discover now, like you discovered months ago when you were running with the nWo boys, that you're just not cut out to stand with the best of the best. You and I have never shared a wrestling ring and while I'll be surprised if we do at the Rumble, it's not going to be for very long, because as you might have heard earlier... guys don't tend to last in this match once I've hit the ring.Dolph winks at the woman on Rude's arm, then turns his focus to the rest of the crowd in kind.Now I could waste my time addressing each and every one of the rest of this island of misplaced wrestlers but the fact of the matter is all I see is a pack of losers who don't know they've lost yet. Mr. Phenomenal couldn't even fend off Tubs Jericho so I'm not going to waste more than a sentence on him. Muhammad Hussan's whole damn gimmick is such a cultural stereotype that I'm surprised he doesn't call himself SoDamn Insane. And as for Warhorse... well, just look at him.Dolph takes a moment to stare long and hard at Warhorse, Timberlake-style.As much as I hate to admit it, Punk was right about one thing, just wrong about the conclusion. The assembled mass of manhood, if you even want to risk calling it that, is a horrible disappointment. I thought I'd be returning to one of the best groups of competitors to ever hit a UWF ring and also a deranged midget and a psychopathic goth chick, but instead I've come back and this is the welcome wagon Ethan's rolled out for me. Eesh. It's no wonder he offered me so much money to come back. I don't need to be here, but the UWF needs me here. So here I am. Ready to Rumble.With that, Ziggler nods and lowers his mic, clearing the floor for the next schmuck.
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Post by George on Jan 29, 2021 20:03:26 GMT -6
THE WARHORSE TURNS AND GIVES PRACTICALLY EVERYONE SIDE EYE AS HE RAISES THAT OH SO PRECIOUS MICROPHONE BACK UP TO HIS MOUTH TO SPEAK, WORDS NO LESS. WARHORSE: WOW, WHO HURT YOU ASSHOLES? I MEAN HELL, COME OUT HERE BITTER WITH THE PRIDE OF THE BUSINESS BEING A BURDEN ON YOUR BACK, IT’D PROBABLY KILL ONE OF YOU DUDES TO TAKE A BREATH NOW AND AGAIN. GET A CLEAR MIND, HUH? I DUNNO, MAN, IT’S CLEAR WHAT STRANGLES YOUR MIND LIKE A NOOSE IS BEING SO FAR UP YOUR OWN ASSES YOU CAN’T SEE YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.
IT MUST BE SOME TYPE OF JOLLY BOYS OUTING WE HAVE ON OUR HANDS, FOLKS BECAUSE WELL, WE’VE GOT MR ZIGGLES AND HIS PASTA HAIR, WE’VE GOT THE HIP SHAKER, AND WELL… THE REST OF YOU. I MEAN, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU ALL HAVE ANYTHING DISTINGUISHED ENOUGH TO EVEN MOCK. LIKE IF I WALKED INTO A BARBER I’D PROBABLY SEE DUDES LIKE YOU LOT.
IT’S NOT A CASE OF GENERICS, PROBABLY, BUT IT SURE SHOWS HOW DARING YOU REALLY ARE. WHO HERE DOESN’T COME AT IT LIKE ANY OTHER MAN HERE? ME, THAT’S WHO. YET I’M SO EASY TO COUNT OUT. WHY? I’M NOT OLD? I DON’T HAVE A LIMP? IT’S INTERESTING THOUGH HOW YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAVOURITES, THE ONES THAT YOU CONSIDER. OOH, WAIT…
If I spoke like this would I be in your league? Would you take me seriously? Would that make a dent on your game? I mean, after all, it’s clear that’s what it is to all of you. A game of spite, revenge, a game of bragging rights, ego. That’s what rings to you. That’s what’s important. I don’t need to tell you a million times to make you hear me out, but I’m a helluva lot more than you think I am. I’m a man of pride, intensity and the will to not only go til next week but another ten fuckin’ years if the body doesn’t go down the shitter.Tone change? Odd. It’s often a person’s biggest shortcomings though, counting someone out. I bet you all feel really happy with yourselves pumping in these little trinkets about being the best. Being the hottest shit on the block and then some, huh? Ooh, Mom, I’m Phenomenal, I’m the Best in The World. If anything, I’m the man with the least ego to boot here. It’s fun though because you think it means something. Adds something to you as a person.
Nah, not at all. It comes off as mighty petty to me, man. I’ve never pretended to be something I’m not, and that can’t be said for a lot of you lot. I say that standing here in facepaint, but hell, at least I take a lot more pride in being myself. Just you laugh at it, put it down as some comedic content, yet I’m not a joke. I’m a goddamn fighter, and I’ve proven that. I’ve beaten the world champion, but you don’t count that.
Not at all, it’s just on your backburner, something you’d rather forget, huh? I guess you do so you don’t feel scared, you get something to back onto your toxic masculinity. Yet I bet that’s what keeps you all afloat. I don’t need that, I thrive of this sport, you thrive of what comes with the sport. So where does that really get ya?There is a short silence. GODDAMN FUCKIN’ NOWHERE THAT’S WHERE. IT ONLY LASTS AS LONG AS YOU CAN ABUSE IT. SO WHAT’S LASTING? WHAT DO WE FIGHT FOR THAT LASTS? THE CLICHE ANSWER WOULD BE LEGACY, BUT WELL, THAT’S VAGUE AS SHIT. IT’S GOLD, BROTHER. IT’S THE NAME IN THE GODDAMN HISTORY BOOKS. SO WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO LOSE THAT I HAVEN’T LOST ALREADY?
IT’S A STEP AWAY FROM GREATNESS, AND I KNOW WHILE MANY OF YOU THINK THIS IS SOME TYPE OF GUARANTEE, BUT I’D DIE FOR IT. FOR THE SHOT, FOR THE GOLD. IT’S WHAT I LIVE FOR, IT’S WHAT I’D DIE FOR. HOW MANY OF YOU COULD SAY THAT WITHOUT LYING? NOT A LOAD OF YOU, CLEARLY. SO I KNOW I’M WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. I’D TAPE A LEAFBLOWER ON MY BACK JUST TO SHOOT TO THE TOP BABY, AND I’M GONNA MAKE THAT STEP.
TALK YOUR SHIT, THE WARHORSE DOESN’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT RING, ON THAT NIGHT, IN THAT MATCH. THROWING SUCKAS LEFT AND RIGHT OUTTA THE GODDAMN RING WILL BE ON THE WARHORSE’S MIND, AND DON’T YOU WORRY, YOU’LL ALL GET YOUR TURN. SINGLE FILE FOR YOUR ASS SLAP, BOYS.THE WARHORSE LOWERS HIS MICROPHONE AND THEN LOOKS BACK OFF INTO THE RING WITH THAT STATEMENT HE’S JUST BOLDLY MADE.
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fja
Mid Carder
Posts: 96
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Post by fja on Jan 29, 2021 20:13:19 GMT -6
*we see Cedric coming down to the ring and looking at all the talent in the ring before taking a breath to calm himself down and grab a mic* Cedric: So, the Royal Rumble match. The golden opportunity to notch an UWF Title match at the show of shows. I know that considering my record this last matches i shouldn't be confident but i just can't help it.
*We see how Cedric looks up at the roof before looking down* Cedric: From my self-perspective, it's like i'm in a bubble, deflected from all the failure and losses and only focusing on what i managed to gain even through losses and honestly, i feel like that's good since if you can look past just the Ls and on what you did you can move on and maybe even win the next match you're in. That's why me being in this "bubble" is gonna help me.*Cedric now gains some confidence and keeps talking* Cedric: On the Royal Rumble matches there's no way to predict who's gonna win, more reasoning for the unlikelity of my way to deflect losses and failure and only focus on my success will work and get me the win since you gotta go confident and not affected by losses and failure if you want to win a Royal Rumble and if there's one thing i always am is confident whether by myself or with the help of this "bubble" i have noticed that exists on the road to this match. So...yeah, if i'm confident plus with the unpredictability of the Royal Rumble, i think i will get the W.
*We see Cedric scratching the back of his head before lowering his mic while trying to not look at the competition in the ring, specially at Styles because of how good he is and how he beat him in the past and at Warhorse because he doesn't feel like being angry at someone it's good in one's chances at winning a rumble match*
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Post by Jimmy Uso on Jan 31, 2021 0:17:22 GMT -6
Rumble starts the countdown
9 . 8 . 7 . 6 . 5 . 4 . 3 . 2 . 1
Buzz
[after The Buzz went off My Time is now hit's the P.a system when John comes out and cross his arms on stage and looks up in the mid-air and starts point his finger down to excite his self and takes off his cap and shirt in throws it away and slides in the middle ring]
John|Cena Yo, I asked hip hop for a simple MC they said they'd sent me 2; AJ Syles and Cedric Alexander but these gangsters didn't wanna come up and be on TV I'ma tell all of y'all why they wouldn't battle with me Yo, man, it's Cedric man I'm fully focused, Rocafella man I've got my girlfriend man I don't need to come to Seattle, I'm the king of New York All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend Rocafella Eve|Torres
when me and John. gets finish with you in our twelve man tag this Wednesday then you all will be eliminated through me and Cena once we be the only two remains in the rumble ring and see who gets to be the final entry for the royal rumble match until after we settle our twelve man spectacular match on Revolution. John|Cena
Okay then Bonnie, where the hell is Clyde at? He ducked me like a bi*ch for a little battle rap what you want me to do man, call your fiancé? I'd have better competition battle rapping with Aerial Hull He's the king of New York, I'm a kid from the cellar Only way he stays hard is by rocking another fella Sorry that I didn't have that much time to diss you I'm focused on Styles, he's my real issue
Eve|Torres
after what John. got through saying is that you all men will force yourself to lose the rumble match and let them women take control of winning this years royal rumble because the men always wins the match every year and don't let the woman win at least once a day in that is why I'm going to be a member of the men's royal rumble match on Feb tenth at UWF network.
(John continues rapping for the Rumble)
John|Cena
Dude, you need to stick to doing fila commercials he showed up and tapped out after hearing me rehearsal They didn't arrest you for weapons, it's because your skills sucks Cops charged him with Illegally possessing two nuts Trade your throwback shirts for a skirt, you little whiner And hike up your skirt, I can see your man-gina you wanna black ball me? Well at least I got a ballsack if they lived at the sperm bank, they couldn't get their cum back They talk about their ice, and all the girls loving you The only Bush he's seen is by watching George W I'm a Main event player, these fools is in the background I take over you, and then take over Revolution They could do a show in their living room and still not sell out this is UWF, get the F out Yo, it's John Cena Thuganomics hot as hell He's just a bad idea, like the XFL I Main event The Royal Rumble you see me, you out of luck you don't like what I'm saying Well I just don't give a
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Soup
Mid Carder
Posts: 61
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Post by Soup on Jan 31, 2021 22:11:46 GMT -6
Just before Cena can finish his sentence, the lights in the arena all cut out at once. We’ve all been through this charade before, whose gimmick is it this time?
That’s when those James Bond gun barrel reverse silhouettes begin to appear on the titantron and minitron. The UWF faithful turn to a roar, as the sight of the gun barrel sequence immediately flicks a light on in their brains; they know exactly whose shtick this is. But, it couldn’t be, could it? He hasn’t been seen in forever. Before long, a silhouette of a tall man begins to walk across the stage as the gun barrel follows him, the blackened arena masquerading his true identity. Then, the figure stops.
The lights flick back on, and there he stands. The Swiss Superman – Cesaro. The arena practically detonates from a thunderous pop from the crowd upon the sight of him. Fans race to their feet, whooping and hollering all sorts of things in approval for their champion of years past. The sleeping giant of the Cesaro Section has been awoken – their champion has returned. The former UWF Champion stands there, staring down the competition in the ring as he fixes his cufflinks on one of his signature suits, a smirk on his face. He then makes his way down the ramp and ring with a confident stride to his step, withdrawing a microphone from his suit jacket.
Stepping through the ring ropes, Cesaro takes off his sunglasses to gaze unto the same audience from whence he departed. His smile brims with a kind of stoic confidence and excitement that practically says Cesaro feels good to be back. He raises his microphone to speak his first words in a UWF capacity in years.
Cesaro: “I hope you don’t mind if I cut in, gentlemen, but might I say: it feels good to be back!”
The crowd pops again, as Cesaro takes in the audience’s fervent energy once again.
Cesaro: “It’s been awhile; I know. Judging from your guys’ response, you didn’t forget about me, so that’s great. Everything I did as a champion; I did for you guys. I wanted to usher in an era of sportsmanship and prestige for the UWF, but unfortunately that was cut short – thanks to this shoulder. However, I take full responsibility for that; I put too much pressure on myself. Not as a champion, but as a representative of the company who had his own vision for the company. I recognize some familiar faces, too. CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, AJ Styles. Glad to know some of you guys are still at it, or returning just like me. I know we were all at each other’s throats at one point, but it’s that kind of spirited competition that’s kept the UWF spinning all this time. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have a UWF to return to, and that’s a fact. But, of course, speaking of old rivals, there’s you. How could I forget about you?”
Cesaro motions to someone across the ring.
Cesaro: “Chris Jericho.”
Cesaro pauses, with a smile to an old rival.
Cesaro: “I see you’re still at, as well. But I also see that some things have changed about you, too. The jacket, the hair, the ‘little bit of the bubbly’. The master of reinvention has struck again, hasn’t he? However, the main thing I notice is that you don’t have the belt anymore. Don’t worry, I’m not here to poke any holes in your ego. No king rules forever, times change – that’s the law of nature. However, what I am here to do should be obvious. I’m here to win the Royal Rumble. I’m here to reclaim the UWF Championship and usher in the new era I failed to bring in. I’m here to throw out twenty-nine other competitors if I have to do it myself, because God knows I have the strength to do it.”
Cesaro: “I know what some of you are thinking already because I’ve done this dance before. “Tony, you’re just a washed up has-been!” And my answer to that is this: Are you really sure about that? Are you sure you want to risk the opportunity of a lifetime – the opportunity to main event WrestleMania – by underestimating me, of all people. A grave mistake, if there ever was one. Past accomplishments aside, all it takes is one Swiss Death uppercut for me to send you over the top rope and to the floor, let alone the fact that I could just hoist you over my head with one hand and throw you out. Regardless, I hope that’s not the case. I hope you’re all ready to push me to my limit, because I could use a good warmup on the way back.”
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Post by Jimmy Uso on Feb 3, 2021 4:18:55 GMT -6
[ after Cesaro was through talking Cena and Eve lift up the Microphone while speaking to Sami and Becky Lynch in the ring] John|Cena
Alright enough, collaborate and listen The ice is back with an brand new proposition your position is that of a failure I'm gonna nail you, to straight down to Sami's n Becky's trailer and then I dare, you to run around and cause a scare give people the shakes, and make them to change
their underwear I'm on top, it's my fault that you're under there John|Cena You want to bare? I have no fault, to shave your back hair.
I'm fast, I've got to go, it's been a blast came out of the locker room, stole Puma's Mask Tried to get Sami's hat but it was plastic, not my type Peace, I got to go, I'm off to hot wire some dude's Bike. Eve|Torres
Becky. if you hate rapping so badly then why not just focused on this twelve man spectacular tag team when i pound your face down into the ground and this ring on revolution. John|Cena:
I'm John C my style's smooth, never choppy #1 announcer is Me it ain't Puma and King Beacon. So Keesh wants to release pieces of his feces? well when the match is over, he'll taste pieces of my cheek's cheeses stop, repeat this - I win, I never lose every single match, I've got a new pair of shoes Which I can use as toys or decoys how am I gonna lose to the lost member of the Skinny Boys? Hahaha - word life. Eve|Torres
if you and Sami even try to do anything dump or stupid in our twelve man spectacular tag team then me and John. will win the Royal rumble match and fight the lame ass Dynamic Duo at Wrestle Mania for the World tag team Champions on UWF. John|Cena Yo yo everybody knows that we are in the ancient art of thug-a-nomics. so you all better to learn to love it, because there's no replacing us the Buccaneers are queer, I'd rather cheer for the patriots face it, me and B2, a re-arrange I'm half rapper, and I'm half sports-entertainment you in danger, you from England, I'm from Boston new law enforcement like the three horsemen Assortment, you need a cavalry to battle me I beat you down brutally and watch you die tragically I beat your father's family I beat your Mothers and your sister calls me leprechaun always after my lucky charms physical storm prepare to throw down your keys yea, we back just like bell bottom jeans. Eve|Torres that's why me and John. are here for one reason is to enter the royal rumble match to see who gets to Main event and fight for Bray Wyatt or Shibata UWF Championship and also for Dynamic Duo World tag team Champions at Wrestle Mania. John|Cena
I'm untouchable, straight down to the walk get your cell phones, ' cause I'm calling out Drew. don't talk about Drew Galloway, he''ll come up here and kill me Drew Galloway sucks as bad as the city of Philly Oversized oaf. his forehead, his Jaw. Let me tell what Clay more kick stands for: fee, fi, fo, fum, oh I forgot my name, my brain went dumb, damn I'm numb you so close clumsy, you couldn't be a cripple in a dance off you want the next Psychopath, let me take my pants off you smarter then a fourth grader that never went to school and I challenge you next week, so I can kick your ass oh, you didn't get that? let me rewind it for you {rewind?} I Challenge you next week, so I can kick your ass! word life.
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Post by crann on Feb 3, 2021 20:38:19 GMT -6
"As Above, So Below" hits the PA and the challengers emerge as soon as the vocals kick in, the fans actually offering a mixed reaction to their arrival, though it's more likely out of contempt for their opponents than adoration for them. Dunne heads to one end of the stage to work the crowd with his usual theatrics while Galloway heads to the top of the ramp, eyes fixed on his boots, soaking hair hanging in front of his face. As Dunne finishes up on the other side of the stage, he blows past Galloway and smacks him on the chest, prompting Drew to throw his head back in a roar. The big Scot then heads down the ramp at a march, Pete antagonizing fans ahead of him before rounding the ring to collect the microphones. As Dunne does so, Drew uses the top rope to haul himself to the apron, then steps over it and climbs a turnbuckle to work the crowd. Pete rolls into the ring with two sticks, and before even handing Drew his, the Bruiserweight opens up their salvo on the World Tag Champions.
PETE DUNNE It's finally here. The day has finally come. After months of waiting and watching while they ducked us, we finally have our dance with the Dynamic Duo. Foley finally saw the light. You all heard him on Revolution last week: there's a big announcement coming for the tag division after the Royal Rumble. That announcement? The Dynamic Duo are done. Foley is a lot of things – stubborn, annoying, shellshocked – but he's not stupid. He knows that Drew and I are going to seize the titles we came here to claim all those months ago, and he knows we're going to demolish his champions the same way we have every single team on the way to them. He knows that because, as I've said before, there's three certainties in life: Death, taxes and a D&G victory. Now Sami and Becky, don't get me wrong, we have a healthy respect for everything they've accomplished. You don't get to be four-time World Tag Team Champions in the best company in the world in our sport without having some talent. But four times Champion means three times defeated. This Duo is not unbeatable. Three other teams have done it before, and it just so happens, we're better than all of them.
Dunne lowers his microphone and the fans are buzzing, unwilling to cheer for the scumbag. Drew picks up where he left off.
DREW GALLOWAY That's right. Every word o' what my partner just said is the honest truth. 'cos when I look at the list o' teams that have had the Duo's number, I see a bunch o' nobodies who aren't even around anymore tae fight. The New Day, Yano an' Ishii? Two pairs o' clowns. An' the Strong Dragons? Well, we all saw what happened tae Kyle O'Reilly when he tried tae stand toe tae toe with the two o' us. Fact o' the matter is, Sami an' Becky are about tae be hoist by their own petards. They fought so hard tae elevate the tag division in this company, but what they didn't realize is they were just raisin' that bar high enough tae make it worth our time tae clear it. All this time, the Dynamic Duo have whined about how the teams in their division couldn't hold a candle tae them an' weren't worthy o' bein' here, an' frankly, Pete an' I agree. We've carved our way through all o' them tae get here, an' not a one o' those tandems will still be in the employ o' this company after the Rumble. Because that's the second half of the announcement Foley's goin' tae make: he's clearin' this house out, gettin' rid o' all the trash, an' bringin' in some world-class contenders to our World Tag Team Championships.
The blatant hubris of Galloway earns him some heat from the stands. He laughs off-mic as Dunne picks up where he left off.
The era of Dynamic Dominance has come to an end, ladies and gentlemen. D&G are ready to fulfill the promise we made all of you when we debuted here in the UWF. We're going to beat the champions, and we're going to do it clean. And when we do, there'll be no denying that all of the hard work the Duo put in to make this division better has paid off, because we'll be the proof of that concept, and the teams Foley ushers in to compete with us will redefine the quality of tag team wrestling not only in the UWF, but worldwide. Once we show Becky and Sami the End of Everything, that'll be it. The end of everything as you know it. And the beginning of the Golden Dunne and Galloway era.
Further heat punctuates the end of D&G's opening remarks. They pace the ring and wait for the arrival of their foes.
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Post by Danny on Feb 4, 2021 0:00:04 GMT -6
The ever so funky beat of Walk The Moon's "Headphones" plays and the crowd starts to boo as the 4 time World Tag Team Champions the Dynamic Duo come out onto the stage. Their bopping their heads to the beat instead of full on dancing like usual. They already have mics in hand and Sami tells them to lower his music before speaking. Sami Zayn: Golden Dunne and Galloway era? That's rich, you come up with that yourselves? Anyone ever tell you that no matter how much you shine up a turd until it's golden, it's still worth jack shit. Sami smirks, he's happy with that one. Sami Zayn: Don't get me wrong, you're good, but you're not Dynamic. The last time we were in this ring together you said you were the team with the most momentum and compared to everyone else, yeah sure but compared to us? Becky do you know when the last time we lost a tag team match was? Becky Lynch: Oh gosh I have to go so far back. It was last year right? Sami Zayn: It was! Becky Lynch: Hmm was it in October? Sami Zayn: Further back. Becky Lynch: September. Sami Zayn: MoreBecky Lynch: Well surely it can't be August. Sami Zayn: You're right it can't be because it was way back in July. That's 7 months now that we've been on a winning streak. Becky Lynch: Can we really call it a streak when this is what we do regularly? You see, Pete Dunne and Drew Galloway, you two are great athletes. You've got a cool look there and you two would be great World Tag Team Champions in any other promotion. But here in UWF, the biggest of them all? You're just a bug underneath our foot. We'd have squashed you a long time ago but you simply weren't worth the effort. Not with the stake and validity of the entire division restin' on our shoulders. You think it's a coincidence that Foley wants to wait until AFTER the Royal Rumble before he makes a decision. He knows as well as we do that if you two were to somehow come away with a win, then maybe it's better to blow it all up. Sami Zayn: Of course as the saviors of the tag division we would never let that happen but as has been proved before, 3 separate times actually, we are beatable. Does that make the teams we lost to better than us? Of course not but everyone can find a way to win if they stack the deck in their favor and you two certainly have tried to take us out at the knees before you even got this match. Becky Lynch: You try to fight us after a grueling Hell in a Cell match. You attack us at an important celebration and yet you two have the audacity to say you're lookin' to win this match clean? We at least put a hurtin' on you in the middle of a match, we don't go around actin' like animals until we get what we want. Foley is protectin' you you two, not the other way around. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he changed the match as soon as we got out there much like he did last week. The thing about the Dynamic Duo is, no matter what happens, we adapt. If we lose a title, it always comes back to us. What's gonna happen when Pete Dunne and Drew Galloway suffer their first big setback? Becky gets a grin on her face like she just asked the greatest philosophical question of the century. The duo await the answer from the top of the stage.
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