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Post by Danny on Jan 22, 2021 4:32:55 GMT -6
This is the thread for the Royal Rumble match. The rules are as followed. - Every TTer minus rawisrey and Roach should post for this match. - If you have both a tag team and a singles character, only post as your singles character. If you only have a tag team, post as them. - If you have both a singles and tag team, I may request to use the tag team as well in order to help fill up the rumble depending on numbers. You can decline this option. - Starting this week and for the next two weeks after, you are only allowed to post once a week for a maximum of 3 total posts in this thread. - If you miss a week, you're allowed to catch up so long as you don't post back to back and don't exceed the current round. - TTs shouldn't be longer than 1k words. - Deadline for the match will be February 10th. You can find the countdown here. www.timeanddate.com/countdown/wrestling?iso=20210210T16&p0=24&msg=Royal+Rumble+Match+Deadline&font=cursive&csz=1
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Post by Dres on Jan 22, 2021 12:49:26 GMT -6
The lights in the arena dim as the stage is shrouded in a dark blue smoke, the lights turning the same hue as a familiar theme begins to play.After several seconds of instrumental, the vocals of rapper NF are heard as the titantron screen lights up with one word:PHENOMENALIt’s at this moment the man himself comes out, hunched over in his steps as he straightens hi up, throwing his arms up and outward as he pulls down his hood quickly from the top of his head. Pyro fires from the stage as he makes his way to the ring, that unmistakable confident smile on his face. Upon entering the ring, AJ raises his arms above his head and crosses his hands so that the halves on his gloved palms meet to complete his symbol. As he lowers them, he shoots the same confident smile to the ramp as he then gets a microphone from the ringside official.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: You know, I’ve gone on record to call you people stupid for not knowing the very man you hate is the one keeping the federation you love afloat.AJ pauses for a moment, then smiles that cocky smile.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: That’s the complete thought: you’re stupid.The crowd boos this.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: What, you thought I was going to completely change my tune? Or did you think I was going to maintain that thought but still say something redeemable about you for balance’s sake? Well if you thought either of those scenarios were going to play out, you’re not only stupider than I thought but you’re more gullible than I thought and it proves that you don’t know me very well. But my frustration and, at times, bewilderment at your stupidity and disrespect and disregard for me, while sizeable, still isn’t that much stock to put into your opinion when you consider most men standing here in my shoes, where you can not only hear and see the rejection but feel it, would feel uncomfortable and badly about themselves. I don’t feel uncomfortable about your disdain, instead your hate is flowing through me like a power source, serving as one of my motivations because man, oh man, do I love throwing your wrongness in your face and boy, oh boy have I been looking forward to saying what I’m about to say all week: I told you so.The crowd boo more intensely than before.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: Aww, like an empty handed bunch of kids, you didn’t get what you wanted, did you? Well pout on, crybabies, sulk and whine and cry and piss and moan but also brace yourselves, because when it comes to telling the truth that you reject, rubbing your faces in the fact that you were wrong and how wrong you were, and just in general making you hate me and ruining your day: I’ve barely put the tip in.
Just think, all you had to do was accept my words for what they were, the God’s honest truth, and you wouldn’t be surprised right now. But you couldn’t help yourselves, could you? After all, dumb is in your nature and when you flock together in arenas like a murder of crows, the contact duhs you get from each other make you ten times as likely to do or say something stupid. And that’s why, despite me doing everything short of drawing a freakin’ picture to make you and him understand, you still put all your eggs in the CM Punk basket. And what happened? Think of it like you’re a menopausal woman, those eggs won’t yield a return because they’re worthless because they’re dying.
Literally everything I said was going to happen has happened. I said I was going to beat Punk, and I did. I said I was going to get another shot at the Intercontinental Championship and Chris Jericho, and I am. And really, that’s what and who I’m out here to talk about but before I get into any depth, the fact of the matter is simply the next thing I said was going to happen is going to come true, I’m going to beat Chris Jericho and win back the Intercontinental Championship. Not only that, I’m going to win the Royal Rumble and go on to add another championship to my collection, but that’s a conversation for another time.AJ smiles.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: I know, Chris, you’re looking at this in the most predictable way possible, like this is a foregone conclusion because of how our other two encounters went. I understand why you believe that, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it, because by the way, I don’t. But here’s what I believe: I believe in good things coming to those who wait, and because I haven’t just been waiting but doing all that I can to make this happen and more, I feel even more strongly good things are coming my way. Because I also believe in revenge, and the third time being the charm, so all of that plus everything I said I’d do coming true doesn’t spell great odds for you, Chris.
You can’t stop the upswing I’m on. The only thing that’s going to happen when you try to derail this momentum train is you’re going to end up a more gelatinous version of yourself on the tracks while I speed off with all the glory. Because there’s another factor working against you, rock star: home field advantage. See not only is this match occurring in the house that AJ Styles built, but this match is the type of match that, if it was anymore tailored to suit yours truly, it’d be named after me. I’m going to shatter the face of the Intercontinental division into a Chris Jericho puzzle and when you’re lying there in that state wet from the blood, sweat, and tears, washed up and spent, unable to contribute further or be put back together again, I’ll be delighting. Delighting in my revenge and putting you in such a condition, delighting in holding the Intercontinental Championship in my hands again, and delighting in simply being so happy that I’m likely to add a fourth fluid to the soggy pile that’ll be you by pissing on what’s left.The crowd continues to amp up the booing but AJ continues.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: And another great thing about it, because yes there’s more, is that you and all of your devoted fans never thought you, Chris freakin’ Jericho, would find yourself on the same list, no pun intended, as completely expendable talent like Miro, Bo Dallas, Cedric Alexander, and Hornswoggle but there you’ll be, having losing to AJ Styles in common with all of them. Because you’re not expendable like them yet, but like Sylvester Stallone got the camera rolling on a sequel and cast you, you’re going to be.AJ smiles that cocky smile again as he lowers his microphone.
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Post by Dres on Jan 22, 2021 13:32:04 GMT -6
The lights in the arena dim as the stage is shrouded in a dark blue smoke, the lights turning the same hue as a familiar theme begins to play.After several seconds of instrumental, the vocals of rapper NF are heard as the titantron screen lights up with one word:PHENOMENALIt’s at this moment the man himself comes out, hunched over in his steps as he straightens hi up, throwing his arms up and outward as he pulls down his hood quickly from the top of his head. Pyro fires from the stage as he makes his way to the ring, that unmistakable confident smile on his face. Upon entering the ring, AJ raises his arms above his head and crosses his hands so that the halves on his gloved palms meet to complete his symbol. As he lowers them, he shoots the same confident smile to the ramp as he then gets a microphone from the ringside official.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: So I know this is the time that people start announcing that they’re going to be in the match even though it’s obvious, but I’m going to do you one better and declare myself the winner. So Shibata, Fiend, this right here is who else you need to keep your eyes on and worry about because that’s who you’re gonna see come barreling towards whichever one of you leaves UWF Champion. And it’s not just because of my exceptional talent, but the lack thereof when it comes to the rest of the competitors. Hornswoggle? Beat him. Cedric Alexander? Beat him. WARHORSE? Beat him. Miro? Might as well say I beat him. And here’s my favorite: CM Punk? Beat him.The crowd boos this.”The Phenomenal” AJ Styles: So that’s five out of the twenty-nine you can rule out. And those that could make up the remaining twenty-three don’t concern me and Chris Jericho will have the special distinction of losing to me twice in one night so at the end of all that figuring, you’re left with one, the, “Phenomenal One”. Because in case you haven’t freakin’ noticed, I’m on a roll around here, and your efforts to try and stop that is like shooting spitwads at a Magoch, except you’re less fortunate than that because when it comes to you scrubs, not everything you say and do sticks. And sure, it’s not like I need this accolade, I don’t need to be here period if you’ll recall, but since I’m here and going through the buffet line, I might as well fill up my plate. So this Rumble win? The Intercontinental Championship? The UWF Championship? I’m taking all three, not just because I want it, but because me having it means you don’t and me doing it means you didn’t. Because again, you couldn’t. And in case you feel left out because you didn’t hear your name earlier, Generous AJ is circling around again to tell you that a snowball has a better chance surviving the oven than any of you have winning.
Rey Mysterio? That’s a heroic no. Bobby Roode? That’s a glorious no. Randy Orton? Third generation no. Winter? It’ll be a cold day in Hell. Who else is there? Oh right, the tag division! I guess I should be trembling in my boots because Peter Avalon might be in the match, huh? Or watch my back because Ikemen might pull a fast one. Listen people, there’s a reason they’re in the tag division and that’s because they can’t hang in the singles division and yes that goes for Dynamic Duo, Dunne and Galloway, and even “Big Match” John Cena and whatever ring rat that is he’s running around with.
But AJ, you still say, what about a surprise entrant? And to that I say, I’m still the best freakin’ wrestler on the planet so when I say other talent can’t possibly hold a candle to me, I’m talking about everyone’s roster. So you can be someone making a return to the company but it doesn’t matter because historically, how did that go for the last guy that did that? I beat him. And if it’s someone making a one-off appearance, also speaking historically, how many of those people went on to win the match ever? That’s right, it’s never happened, and this one certainly isn’t going to buck the trend especially because I’m in it. Because while I can lay it out in complicated fashion and have many times before, the reason for my success and your failure boils down to one simple truth: I’M PHENOMENAL!AJ drops his microphone and raises his arms, meeting his hands at the palms to do his signature pose to more boos from the crowd.
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Post by George on Jan 22, 2021 16:39:39 GMT -6
THE MUSIC OF THE WARHORSE HITS WITH ASSERTION AND DOMINANT SPIRIT. THE LYRICS HIT, AND THE WARHORSE COMES OUT FROM THE CURTAIN AND MAKES HIS WAY DOWN TO THE RING MICROPHONE IN HAND. HE’S VERY OPPOSED TO THE RISE OF MIRO OR THE MEAR IDEA OF THAT AS A CONCEPT. HE CLIMBS UP ON THE APRON AND GETS THE HELL IN, RAISING HIS MICROPHONE UP TO HIS MOUTH.
WARHORSE: WOW, WOW, WOW. IT SEEMS THAT THE WARHORSE HAS A CHALLENGE ON HIS HANDS… A THREAT? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE ALL CALLING HIM? I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’D BOTHER BILLING A MAN WHO CAN’T EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO SHOW OUT. IT MIGHT’VE BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM THE POOR, HAIRY, BOY, BUT HELL, I DOUBT HE WAS THAT FOCUSED IN ON ACTUALLY BEING A FORCE HERE, OTHERWISE HE WOULDA SHOWN UP FOR HIS DEBUT! THE SPORADIC ASSHOLE IS PROBABLY THINKING OF WHAT GAMES HE SHOULD BE PLAYING FOR THE WEEK INSTEAD OF WHAT HE SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT. WILL HE LAY THERE WITH HIS EYES OPEN OR SHUT WHEN HE STARES DIRECTLY UP AT THOSE LIGHTS ON HIS BACK.
THAT’S HIS DECISION, AND NOT ONE FOR ME TO MAKE FOR HIM. I MEAN, THERE’S NOT A LOT OF VOLUNTARY DECISIONS HE CAN MAKE NOW, I MEAN HE’S KINDA DUG HIMSELF IN A HOLE BY HIS INCOMPETENCE. HE DOESN’T HAVE THE MINDPOWER TO BRING THE WARHORSE’S LEVEL. LOOK, HIS PRIORITIES ARE ALL OUTTA WHACK, WE KNOW THIS, BUT WHAT THE SHIT IS HE THINKING LETTING THE WARHORSE EVEN BE HERE? EVEN HAVE THIS MATCH IN EXISTENCE. IT’S A GODDAMN TRAVESTY TO HIS WIFE THAT HE DIDN’T BEG OUTTA HIS CONTRACT AND GO PURSUE HIS PASSION OF BEING A TWITCH STREAMER, AS I DON’T KNOW IF THE WILL POWER WAS EVER THERE TO BRING THE FIGHT TO SOMEONE LIKE THE WARHORSE.
THE WARHORSE DISMISSES THIS IN HIS HEAD, SHAKING HIS HEAD AT THE LACK OF BOTHER TOWARDS THIS WHOLE GODDAMN BUSINESS.
THE WARHORSE FINDS IT’S A SHAME THAT MIRO’S WIFE WILL BE STREET BOUND, AS SHE’S PRETTY HOT, MAN. HOWEVER, THAT’S JUST ON MIRO’S LACK OF MENTAL FORTITUDE. IF THAT’S COMING FROM THE WARHORSE, KNOW IT MEANS SOMETHING. HE CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW MONEY WORKS SINCE IT DOESN’T COME FROM CHOPPING DOWN A TREE IN GODDAMN MINECRAFT OR SHAKING ONE ABOUT LIKE DONKEY KONG. WHAT’D HAVE THE WARHORSE THINK THIS IS THAT HE WON’T MAKE A GODDAMN DIME OUTSIDE OF THIS BUSINESS. THE ENABLERS WILL FADE, AND SO WILL HE.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF HE’LL EVEN TURN UP, AND HE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T, BECAUSE IT’LL JUST HURT HIM THE LONG TIME. HE’LL HAVE A SNAPPED BACK SITTING ON THAT COMFORTABLE CHAIR, EXCEPT THIS TIME NOT OUTTA CHOICE, NOT VOLUNTARY, BECAUSE HE WAIVERED THAT RIGHT LONG AGO WHEN HE INSULTED THE WARHORSE AND THIS BUSINESS BY TRYING TO BELONG. IF IT WASN’T CLEAR ENOUGH, I’LL MAKE IT CLEARER BY SHOVING MY WHOLE GODDAMN LEG UP HIS LAZY ASS.
THE WARHORSE LOWERS HIS MICROPHONE TO SEE IF MIRO WILL EVEN BOTHER SHOWING UP TODAY.
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Post by Fauche on Jan 22, 2021 17:09:55 GMT -6
"Machine Gun" hits the PA, saving the crowd from the unbearably unbearable unbearableness of AJ Styles' grandstanding. The Voice of the Voiceless stands at the top of the ramp and checks his imaginary wrist watch before shaking his head. It isn't quite Clobberin' Time yet, but soon! Punk marches down the ramp, full of vim and vigor, before scaling the steps into the ring. He already has a mic in hand, because it's important you come prepared for these things. Taking a stand across the squared circle from his old pal, he calls for the music to cut out before getting started.Punk: Well aren't we getting a little bit big for our britches? The Straight Edge Superstar eyes the Phenomenal One up and down, somehow even less impressed than he was the first time they stood in the ring together. But following that, with a slight shrug, Punk makes a surprising concession. Punk: Then again, if anyone's riding a hot hand into this thing, it's you AJ. With a couple of wins strung together and another title match already guaranteed, I guess that's gotta make you an odds on favourite. Granted, that streak you've racked up is a bit suspect... a count-out where the other guy never even showed, some help from the ropes against yours truly... oh well. I'm positive that if it's all possible for you to cheat, shortcut, or steal your way to the winner's circle here or in that Tables, Ladders and Chairs match, you'll certainly endeavor to.
Cause that's your thing, right? "By any means necessary"? Never mind the how, because that doesn't matter. The ends justify the means for ol' AJ. Some might argue that's not very Christ-like behavior from our resident southern evangelical superstar but I say breaking eggs to make ommletes is as Old Testament as it gets. We shouldn't be surprised. And it shouldn't have come as any shock to me that you'd break the rules and steal the pin before I could beat you straight up. Shame on me, I guess.
I told you before that regardless of the outcome, I wouldn't chase after a rematch and I meant it. I came to find out if I'm still a great wrestler, and all signs seem to point towards a big fat "yes". EC3 bumped his own world champion down to the midcard so he could showcase my return match and I'd humbly suggest I delivered. Someone had to. I'm not even remotely interested in knowing whether I have what it takes to outwit cheapskates at their own, pathetic games. You could've come to the ring with a glock and shot me in the gut to take the pin and the outcome would be the same - you acknowledging you don't have what it takes to out-wrestle me, and me walking away knowing I was right about you. You're a pusillanimous piece of fucking fool's gold, AJ. The lowest of lows. The "house you built" is a gutter and you deserve to live and die in it. I don't give a shit. Bygones are bygones. Have fun fighting Chris "I donated a down payment on a house to the Trump Campaign" Jericho for your nothing title belt. I'm sure you'll both be in tip top condition to compete in the Rumble after a TLC match. His delivery is dry and sardonic - emotionally void but still razor-tipped. There's certainly no love lost, but he's at least playing it up like he isn't wasting any more time or energy on the top contender. To emphasize this, CM Punk turns his back on Styles to face the entrance ramp.Punk: As for the rest of you? Fuck it. Come one, come all. I keep going on about this "fight everyone on the roster one at a time" schtick but the Royal Rumble isn't exactly what I had in mind. Even I came in at one and tossed all twenty-nine of you one at a time - unlikely, yeah, but humor me here - I still wouldn't consider that a mission accomplished or a goal fulfilled. I'm sticking to the mast plan and recognizing this even for what it is - an anomaly.
For anyone watching at home who shares AJ over here's aversion to big, scary words, "anomaly" basically means "something outside the norm". For one night, let's forget about the win-loss records in singles competition and let's just have fun with something, huh? The Royal Rumble. Unlike all three of those titles we've got kicking around, here's a prize that actually means something intriguing. To be honest, I don't even really care about the prize. Going on to the Wrestlemania main event isn't what's compelling about this battle royal, although I'm sure it'll be a major distraction for most of the clowns in this thing.
No, what I like about the Rumble is how rare it is. They didn't even have one last year, and in this company's ten-year history, there have only been a handful of men who've been able to say they won it. Is it a good indicator of prowess in the sport of professional wrestling? Hell no. It's a gimmick overdose with a ridiculous tilt in favor of whoever's coming out later and tossing bodies over the top rope isn't tantamount to the good ol' fashion graps. Still, it's not nothing, and because it's something, I want it. I'm back to redefine what it means to be successful in the UWF, and winning the Rumble is a feather in the cap and a jewel for the crown that just can't be ignored. Plus the last thing I need is some jabronie lording this over me come Slammy season.A laugh from the crowd! Hilarious!Punk: Yeah, the debut went a little a sour but it is what it is. This'll be my first pay-per-view match in ages, so that's a special occasion unto itself. I'm not planning on going zero-for-two in returns, here. I know a lot of the guys in this puppy are mean, nasty, tough sons of bitches. Drew McIntyre? That guys terrifying. He's a sword nerd who hits the gym. Dangerous combination. Rey Mysterio? He's looking better than he has in years and I'm sure the Wonder Twins are gonna be doing everything they can to get their boss the win. Then you got absolute wildcards like Winter and WARHORSE - who the hell knows what's going on in their heads or what kinda shit they'll pull in a huge match like this. All that to say, anyone's odds of pulling this stunt off are the same as getting struck by lightning while you're winning the lottery.
I could make the argument that the smart money is on the guy who isn't blinded by the spotlight of Wrestlemania and more focused on a potential World Championship match. A person like that might have the pragmatic sort of focus necessary to stick the landing but frankly, that might just be a little bit of talk in a night we're you're about to hear a loooooooot of talk. So whatever. I've got a good feeling and that's good enough for me. I know what I need to do to win and all that's left is doing it, and if at all possible, I'll try and have some fun along the way. He finally turns back to AJ.Punk: Like I wouldn't mind taking you out, but after Jericho's done with you I imagine that'd be as satisfying as putting a bullet in gameworn horse. For a second it looks like things could boil over between Punk and Styles but oh snap someone else's music hits just then and there!
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Post by George on Jan 22, 2021 17:26:45 GMT -6
THE HARSH AND ENERGETIC MUSIC OF THE WARHORSE BLASTS THROUGH THE PA LIKE A BULLET OUTTA A JET ENGINE. LIVE WIRE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY MOTLEY CRUE, OR MORE ACCURATELY, MICK MARS. THE WARHORSE HAS AN EVENTFUL NIGHT AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE PAY PER VIEW, WITH A MATCH AGAINST MIRO EARLIER IN THE NIGHT AND THE EVER COMPETITVE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH, IN WHICH HE’S BOUND TO BE CONFIDENT FOR, HE’LL CERTAINLY HAVE HIS HANDS THROUGH. QUICKLY, AS THE MUSIC BRINGS AN IMPACTFUL BRING TO THE LYRICS, THE WARHORSE STORMS THROUGH THE CURTAIN LIKE A STORMTROOPER. HE LOOKS AROUND THE PLACE AND THEN MAKES HIS WAY DOWN THE RAMP, MICROPHONE IN HAND, BECAUSE IF THAT DUDE AT THE FUCKIN’ SIDE OF THE RING HAND TO HAND THEM OUT, THEY’D LITERALLY HAVE 30 MICROPHONES, THAT IS LIKE, TOO MUCH. ANYWAY, AFTER HE’S MADE HIS WAY DOWN, HE SLIDES UP ONTO THE APRON AND CLIMBS THROUGH THE ROPES AND RAISES HIS MICROPHONE UP TO TALK. WARHORSE: EVERYONE AROUND HERE SEES THIS AS THE BE ALL END ALL, AND LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT AS IF IT IS SUCH. THE GRAND OPPORTUNITY, THE BIGGEST ONE YOU’LL EVER CATCH. WHY? THE WARHORSE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THAT THINKING, AND FRANKLY, HE THINKS IT’S BUTTFUCK STUPID. IS IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’LL NEVER REACH THAT PINNACLE AGAIN? IS IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT WORTHY TO BE IN A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH? NOT IN THE LEAGUE OF IT? REALLY SHOUTS OUT A WHOLE LOT ABOUT CHARACTER, AND THE ABILITY THE FIGHTER HAS IN THE TANK.
THE WARHORSE PAUSES AND TURNS HIS HEAD LIKE THE TERMINATOR IN THAT ONE MOVIE… THE TERMINATOR. OH. LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN. AJ MOTHERFUCKIN’ STYLES, EH? THE MAN WHO THINKS RUNNING DOWN EVERY MAN ON THE ROSTER WOULD MAKE HIM CLEARED. LIKE THINGS DON’T CHANGE, WELL, I MEAN HE PROBABLY DOESN’T. OLD AGE AND ALL PROBABLY HAS HIM AS STATIONARY AS A STICK IN THE SAND. YET THAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH A LOT OF FOLK AROUND HERE, A LOT OF GODDAMN TALK AND NOT A WHOLE LOTTA ACTION, HUH? SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH, THE WARHORSE HAS NEVER SAID ANYTHING YOU DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW. IT’S JUST REASSURING THE FACTS WE HAVE ON THE TABLE, YET PEOPLE CAN’T HANDLE THE VOLUME AND THE POWER OF THE AURA OF THE WARHORSE. THEY FIND IT OVERWHELMING, SUFFOCATING. CHOKING. KILLING. ABSOLUTELY GAME ENDING. I MEAN HELL, EVEN MR STYLES DENIES IT. REJECTS IT LIKE HE’S FACING THE SAME WARHORSE HE FACED MONTHS AGO. UUHHH… I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S STILL A SMART STRATEGY, ASSHAT. THE WARHORSE FINDS IT AS CUTE AS YOUR HAIR. MAYBE I’LL PULL IT BACK FOR THE BAREBACK ASS RULIN’ YOU’LL CATCH WITH MY WHOLE FOOT GOING UP YOUR ASS, AND OUTTA YOUR MOUTH. I’LL PULL IT OUT AND SHOVE IT TO ANYONE WHO STEPS TO THE WARHORSE.
HALF OF YOU NEED TO PUT A GODDAMN SHIRT ON, AT LEAST A BUTTON UP, AND HEAD BACK TO YOUR DAY JOB, AS I COULDN’T NAME A SOUL WHO LIVES THIS BUSINESS LIKE THE WARHORSE, BROTHER, AND I’D LIKE TO SEE A MAN COME OUT HERE AND PROVE ME WRONG… SINCE I KNOW IT WON’T HAPPEN. AS I KNOW NOBODY CARES TO DRAG THEM THROUGH THE WEAR AND TEAR OF THIS BUSINESS. I MEAN GODDAMN, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT UWF CHAMPIONSHIP WAS HELD BY A DUDE FOR A WHOLE GODDAMN YEAR?! IT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY AGO.
NOBODY BACKS IT UP, NOBODY PUTS IN THE WORK EQUIVALENT TO WHAT THE WARHORSE HAS DONE AND BROUGHT, AND IT DOESN’T GO TO WASTE. THE FUNNY PART ABOUT IT IS YOU’D THINK IT HAS, YOU’D THINK THAT THE WARHORSE’S ABILITY IS NON EXISTENT BECAUSE WELL, BIG BOY ETHAN FEARS PUTTING ME ON THAT CARD BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT THE WARHORSE WILL TEAR THEM A NEW ASS AND THEY’LL GO CRYING HOME TO THEIR MOMMAS.
THE WARHORSE LEANS AGAINST THESE 4 ROPES HE LOVES, BROTHER, BROTHER. I MEAN, IF YOU CARE, HOW LONG WILL YOU? ARE YOU BORED YET? SINCE I SURE AS HELL KNOW I AM, BUT ONLY OF YOU FICKLE PEOPLE WANTING A DIFFERENT WAY. A DIFFERENT ROUTE AROUND THE WORLD AND THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THIS. WHETHER THE WARHORSE RULES 30 ASSES OR 1, THAT CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE IN THE POSSESSION OF THE WARHORSE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. I’LL SIT ON MY THRONE AND WATCH YOU CRY ABOUT IT, PLAY BATTLESHIP IN YOUR TEARS.
THE WARHORSE LOWERS HIS MICROPHONE AND WAITS FOR A RESPONSE FOR SOMEONE? I DON’T KNOW, THERE’S A LOT OF PEOPLE, IT COULD BE ANYONE REALLY.
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Post by crann on Jan 22, 2021 17:56:57 GMT -6
There's an awkward silence that hangs over the arena after the unusually loud WARHORSE has his say. It's like everyone is waiting for something. Something special, maybe? Or just... something. To break up the routine. That's when it happens. One word, belted over the arena PA, gets the fans on their feet and cheering loudly:FAAAAAAAAAAME!The pop is massive as none other than the UWF's very own "Show Off," the former UWF Champion, and still record holder for most Rumble eliminations ever trots out to the top of the stage, turns his back on the crowd and performs his signature hip gyrations before throwing his hair back and spinning to face the ring, full of piss and vinegar. The crowd can't believe it: is he really here? Is he really back? Does this mean what we think it means?Dolph Ziggler heads down the ramp at a jog, grinning all the way, clapping palms with enthusiastic fans as he goes to confirm the reality of it. He jogs up the ring steps, passes between the ropes and catches a microphone tossed in from ringside before turning it on and, with a grin, beginning his first address to a live UWF Universe in damn near half a decade.DOLPH ZIGGLERLadies and gentlemen, please don't fret nor adjust your television sets: Mr. Royal Rumble is in the house!Another loud pop from the crowd and Ziggler soaks up the admiration for a moment before raising his hand to continue.While I'm terribly sorry for interrupting the two-man ego trip of AJ Styles and CM Punk out here, I thought I'd trot my way down to this ring and say what's up! See, usually the surprises are saved for the day of the event, but EC3 knows a thing or two about how to make money and he knew that the best way to get eyes on the Royal Rumble was to book the return of the single greatest professional wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots. And though I could run through my resume for all the new guys in the back, I think your reaction is all the testament I need to tell the world just how big a deal this is. After all, I'm Dolph freakin' Ziggler. Nobody has the heart I have, the sheer drive to win. I proved it the last time I was in this match and left with the most eliminations in the history of the company. I proved it when I was the inaugural UWF Champion on the very first episode of Resistance. I prove it every single day just by living and breathing. So what's the point of my being here, now? Why did I agree to participate? Well, frankly, this is just about correcting a wrong from years ago.Ziggler pauses, and the fans buzz. His most diehard fans have an idea of what's coming.As far as I'm concerned, I don't need 10 eliminations or even a victory to consider my time in this match this year a success. I just need one elimination. That son of a bitch Bobby Roode is sitting in the back somewhere waiting to come down here and talk about how glorious he is and how he's won one of these things but what he won't mention is he won it because the referees were blind. They didn't see him be clearly eliminated, so I was robbed of the one thing I had earned more than anything that night, and that was to see my name in the record books and my shot at a true Wrestlemania moment. Because of that pompous prick, I was denied something I had earned through blood, sweat and tears and by God, I'm going to take my vengeance this time out. Inch by inch, I'll get my pound of glorious flesh.Dolph's lip is trembling as he finishes speaking about his age-old rival. But then the smile slowly comes back, and he turns his focus to the men in the ring already.Don't get me wrong, though. I might be bent on getting a little payback, but I'm still head and shoulders better than anyone this company has on its payroll right now. That's why Ethan paid me more money than any of you losers to participate in this match. You think I had any plans to come out of retirement? My comedy career is going incredibly well. I knocked a bunch of seniors in a retirement home dead just last week. I'm a bigger hero than Rey Mysterio, I'm more phenomenal than Hillbilly Deluxe over there and you can bet your ass that of all of the people to make a return in the last month, I'm the favourite to win this thing. Again, you don't have to take my word for it. I've done it before. And whether I'm beating the crap out of Chris Jericho to get a little payback for pushing me out of the company or showing Winter just how far women's lib has gone by smacking the taste out of her mouth, the Show Off is back, baby, and that means this show is OVER!!!With that, Dolph lowers his mic and waits to see who else wants a piece.
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Post by cliffwalk on Jan 23, 2021 15:52:12 GMT -6
"Judas" erupts from the sound system inside the arena, and immediately the crowd leaps to it's feet. Chris Jericho appears from behind the curtain, holding a large item covered with a cloth in one hand, and sporting a brand new "Rumble is Jericho" shirt underneath his jacket. Jericho makes his way towards the timekeeper's area, where a small table has been placed, to which he places the large object on, and removes the cloth revealing a giant bucket of ice with a bottle of the best version of bubbly good money can find. Then he grabs a microphone and makes his way into the ring.CHRIS JERICHOLadies and Gentlemen, the Royal Rumble is Jericho! See it even says so on this badass new shirt here. Tonight is the one night of the year where you the fans can witness 30 men and women throw each other around. I mean it's really no wonder this is a show help on pay-per-view because it could get R-rated! Now now don't get excited that wasn't a cheap plug for a surprise entrant, I know how you people think! Not only am I declaring my entry, but I hope nobody minds that I have also taken the liberty of bringing out the celebratory drink for after I toss that last idiot over the top rope! Everyone loves the bubbly! None for any of you though, some of you are underage!
Now like my unpleasant counterpart AJ Styles over there, I too have some goals in mind. By the end of the night I will most certainly STILL be your Intercontinental Champion, I will have won the Hunger Games of professional wrestling, and I will have earned my well deserved match against the UWF Champion. There are a few issues though that may make it just a weeeeee bit hard though...28 1/2 if you could Hornswoggle. Take this idiot over here...a blast from the past if you will! We have here the self proclaimed "Mr Royal Rumble" Dolph Zig Zag Wig Wag Ziggler. I have got to ask...how many different ways did you have to kiss Ec3's ass to let you come back here? Don't give me that crap that he sees dollar signs in you because you my friend are a phony as a three dollar bill. Allow me to be the first one to welcome you back in, but also be the first to wish you well in your future endeavors after I toss you and your career over the top rope, crashing and burning.
Then look at this guy over here, the guy who always wants to be a little bit EXTRA. You guessed it I'm talking about the WARHORSE! You know I can hear your ass yelling from beyond the backstage area, outside in the parking lot, across the street in the hotel, up on the 37th floor, inside the bathroom with the fan on, during a session of explosive diarrhea! Hahaha I'm just kidding man...I don't have explosive diarrhea. Can you imagine that?! That's a way to clear a ring for sure! Anyways, I would like to offer you sir some valuable veteran like advice, here's a penny for my thoughts. First thing first, it's probably quite unsanitary to shove your foot in and out of multiple asses, especially with the world nowadays. Stick your foot in one anus clean, and come out with Covid-19! So maybe you should refrain from that. Also the most useful piece of information I can offer is this...look around. Far be it from me to give any of these men compliments, but most of them, if not all of them have been doing this much longer than you have. If you think for a second that anything you said hasn't been heard already in many different variations, then you must be on that good stuff. You wanna make a name for yourself, man up and back up what you say...don't talk about it, be about it!
Well well well, what in the wide world of sports to we have here, its CM Sucks! You know you intrigue me Phil. I mean you were never really that good from the beginning, but here you stand confidently painting this picture of yourself to everyone that is just not true. The level of confidence you exhume is just mind boggling, and yet familiar at the same time, and I can't quite place from where it originates...WAIT! I know! You were so sure of yourself when you decided when you grew up you wanted to be an MMA fighter! Let me ask you this, should we have the timekeeper hold a stop watch? Will it be victory enough for you to last longer in the Rumble than you did in the octagon with Mickey Gall? You are clearly using your words to compensate for the fact that you are on the inside having a panic attack because it's make or break for you tonight. Why go through all the trouble of coming back just to lose at the first real test you have since coming back? I don't envy you Punk, see unlike you, I am under absolutely no pressure. Jericho turns and stares down AJ Styles. You are like a disgruntled ex that won't leave me alone. Tonight you and I will most certainly destroy each other the likes of which nobody will really ever match. You come out here and you run your mouth about how you have beaten this person and beaten that person...dude are you high? Did you not think for one second that those people might be a little pissed? It's exactly like Punk said, most of your victories were LUCK at best, or you pulled some sketchy stuff out of your ass to win. Not that I am implying you are a target, but when you are known for screwing people over, they tend to return the favor, and you know what? I hope it's that little shit Hornswoggle that eliminates you!
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rawisrey
Freelance Writer
Forever
Posts: 257
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Post by rawisrey on Jan 23, 2021 22:17:07 GMT -6
After a few moments of silence after Jericho has finished speaking, everyone turns to the titantron as a very unfamiliar theme begins to play from many years in UWFs past.The Mawwal singing plays loudly and once the music itself hits, slowly out through the curtain walks out Muhammad Hassan. He takes a deep long breath, taking in the atmosphere of the crowd all in before he opens his eyes and with a big rear back he spits down on the ground metaphorically spitting in the face of every person in the audience. Microphone already in hand, he begins to speak while he's walking down the ramp.Muhammad Hassan:
Would you take a moment to look at this ring, and bare witness to the privileged in mass. Every single one of these men came out, and simply began speaking, a couple of course eluding to themselves in egotistical manner, but NONE of them had to introduce themselves. My name, is Muhammad...Hassan, and there are very specific reasons why you may not have heard of me. My entire career in the wrestling industry is treated like dark spot in history, no matter the company I went to. In a company not unlike this one, I lead Khosrow Daivari and The Great Khali to tag team championship gold but even then I was denied championship gold. Every single person in that ring has had a one on one championship match to their name in the UWF, something I was denied no matter who I defeated or what I did. In fact, I've never even been allowed to enter the Royal Rumble match. Twenty Twenty One, two decades separated from a tragedy that caused my people to be shunned and judged for years to come. And yet, nowadays I feel that shunning in a grander scale, now instead of hate I am given nothing but glances...because nowadays people realize what they did and they want to forget it. They want to pretend like my plight NEVER happened, and erase all memory of it. Hassan stops to breath, but only because he's reached the steel steps and walks up them, walking across the ring apron looking around before entering the ring with Daivari quickly entering behind him. Daivari takes the microphone from him and begins shouting in Arabic at the other competitors quickly and loudly.Khosrow Daivari: لن يفهم أي منكم نضالنا ، والآن تضع قوائمك وتشير إلينا في وصفنا "بالشخصيات العنصرية". إنكم عنصريون جميعًا ، لكن الآن مع كل الألم والإذلال الذي تعرضنا له. ليس منذ عشرين عامًا فقط ، ولكن حتى يومنا هذا بالذات ... نحن نهين كل واحد من أبطالك ونصدم العالم من خلال الفوز ببطولة العالم للوزن الثقيلThe crowd boos throughout all of Daivaris tirade, not understanding what he's saying while he shouts at the top of his lungs making it hard to tolerate. Daivari hands the microphone back to Hassan, he has a look of utter disgust on his face as he eyes up every other person in the ring.Muhammad Hassan:
Khosrow please control yourself, we wouldn't want people to misunderstand your impassioned speech and compare it with the nonsensical rantings of this so called "Warhorse". But before I clasped my hands to my ears, to drown out your pathetic cries for attention...You revealed how privileged and spoiled you are, the fact that you Fail to understand something is expected of someone with your mental capacity. But the utter absurdity that you d0 not understand why an opportunity like this, is so important, points to your blindness towards true issues and hardships in this world. Do you know why I am out here right now? In the UWFs attempt to fill out the Royal Rumble...The Great Khali was sent an invite to compete, I mean they asked Dolph Ziggler to enter and he hasn't even won it. So of course they wanted a former winner to enter, but as his former managerial staff the invitation was opened by my associate Khosrow Daivari...and instead of searching Khali out, he brought that entry contract to me. I'm not even supposed to be in this damned match, the UWF doesn't want me out here with a live microphone they want to treat me like a second class citizen. In hopes that by Ignoring me instead of Publicly judging me, I would go away. But with this Royal Rumble entry, with this One night...I will TAKE everything that I've EVER worked for and was rejected. Hassan flares his nostrils looking around the ring as if unable to stand the very stench of the company he's with.To all of you, this is just about the Main Event of Wrestlemania. You think about this in the grandest of terms...For me, this is Years of not receiving a Single one on one match on Pay Per View in the UWF. To all of you this is about yet another opportunity at the UWF Champion, but for me it's about NEVER holding championship gold in my entire career. I am HUNGRIER than all of you and the rest of that Damn locker room combined, and unlike all of you...This is guaranteed to be my only opportunity to take what I unequivocally deserve. AJ Styles and CM Punk can talk all day about their claim to be the best while they both fail to live up to their claims every other week out of sheer lack of commitment, but I will not strafe from my destiny. Dolph Ziggler and Chris Jericho can entertain and boast about themselves only to disappear and return with an entirely different manner of speaking, but I shall not waiver in my beliefs or ANYTHING that I've ever said no matter how none politically correct it may be in todays world.Muhammad Hassan shakes his head in disapproval at all who are choosing to boo him at this moment.I will NEVER forget what my own country did to me, nor will I forget what this entire industry has done to me. You all look at me and you JUDGE me, you see what you make up in your own minds, Every wrestling company sees me and they see a persona non grata, and every entrant in this Royal Rumble will look at me and underestimate me because they know NOTHING of me. But once I've done the impossible in a match I was not even thought to be apart of, come Wrestlemania you all will look upon me and see The GREAT....Muhammad...Hassan...U W F...Champion!
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mattchewie
Main Eventer
The following nostalgic 90s-ish moment has been provided by the Chewie World Order
Posts: 202
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Post by mattchewie on Jan 24, 2021 20:28:05 GMT -6
The fans blow the roof off of the building as Rick Rude slowly saunters out from behind the curtains.
Rick Rude: What I would like to have right now, is for all you fat...out of shape...overweight...
Rude looks around to look at the opponents that are present at the moment before he continues.
Rick Rude: Talentless excuses for wrestlers to keep the noise down and keep your mouths shut while I give each and every woman in this arena and watching at home exactly what they've all been dying to see....me
Rude unties his robe but waits before swiveling his hips.
Rick Rude: Ya know...it's been a rough year or so having to sit back at home nursing this back injury of mine, but even at a limited capacity, I've still got more than enough left in the tank to wipe the floor with each and every one of you. Speaking of wiping, Punk...I really think that you need to stop wiping the sweat off of your brow before you run that hand through your hair. Looks like we could fry a hamburger for every person in attendance here tonight. Hell, we could even let the soccer moms cook for us, right AJ. right Dolph? I mean, we've got Jericho here that can just guzzle up a few before we start handing them out...from the looks of it that's what he's been doing rather than hitting the gym. Hey, seeing as Wilford Brimley is gone maybe you could be the new spokesperson for Diabetes.
Rude fans his robe a few times and dabs at his forehead.
Rick Rude: Geez, it's sweltering in here....or maybe it's just all these women in here making the temperature skyrocket since they got to see what a real sexy man is supposed to look like. Hey, could I borrow that towel on your head Hassan?
Rude looks over to Warhorse.
Rick Rude: Don't worry kid, I'm can't even insult you properly, seeing as I have no earthly idea who you are. At any rate...it's been a very long time since I've been around these parts...and it looks like I've definitely been needed. From what I've heard the ratings have absolutely tanked and merch...well...pfffft. I could take a napkin, wipe the sweat from these chiseled abs and sell them outside the arena and still make more than any of you chumps do from merchandise sales. Oh, I almost forgot...the reason that I'm going to win. The easiest explanation is I am Rick Rude. But I'm also the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. Then there's also the fact that there isn't a single soul in this company that could even lace my boots properly. The things that I have forgotten about this game, half of you haven't even learned yet. This company is full of WAP these days. Whiny Ass Posers. But don't worry about me, I'm just going to go over here and sit beside one of these charming ladies and share some popcorn with her while I wait for the rest of you to show some common sense and just resign...
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