Post by Danny on Jan 30, 2023 2:35:39 GMT -6
And now UWF presents...
As the logo is seen, things go live to the inside of the arena as pyrotechnics go off from the stage and the camera pans around to get a shot of the fans from all around the world gathered for the Royal Rumble! The camera pans over to the commentary team where Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo, and Tom Phillips are standing by.
Mauro Ranallo: Hello and welcome to the Royal Rumble! 30 men will put it all on the line to determine who faces the UWF Champion in the main event of Wrestlemania!
Corey Graves: It's a tight race this year. I don't know who to choose!
Tom Phillips: 29 wrestlers will have their hopes crushedhausen tonight but only one will prevail.
Corey Graves: Good God if he wins, I'll be sick to my stomach. Let's just hope he and Eddie Kingston beat each other up enough to both go out in 5 seconds flat.
Mauro Ranallo: Yes those two will be competing earlier in the night for the Intercontinental Championship but there's more prizes up for grabs like the Prime Time Medal.
Tom Phillips: Plus the Television title is on the line when Trevor Lee defends against a man who has had his number in Cody Rhodes.
Corey Graves: Let's not forget that little runt came back to UWF only to get put back in his place tonight by none other than one of the odds on favorites to win the Rumble, LA Knight!
Tom Phillips: And after being practically stalked for weeks, Edge looks to get some revenge on Leyton Buzzard.
Mauro Ranallo: all that and more but first, we need to find out who will be the champion at Wrestlemania. Let's head down to the ring right now!
DING DING!
Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the UWF Championship! Introducing first…
Like a Villain plays over the sound speaker as Ciampa walks out onto stage, the crowd would notice that he looks slightly off and DDP would race ahead of him before he can make his way down the ramp, DDP would extend an arm out to block Ciampa and an arm at Shark Boy and hold up a finger to indicate to give them a minute. The pair would talk for a second and Ciampa can be seen physically taking a deep breath to calm down but would still be seen jittering a bit. DDP would move out the way and Ciampa would march his way down to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at two hundred and one pounds. Tommaso Ciampa!
DDP remains ringside as Ciampa enters the ring and gets ready for the match ahead.
Tony Chimel: And the opponent…
GIVE ME A SHELL YEAH!
The raw guitar driven sound of Accept's 'Fast as a Shark' hits the PA system and the crowd begin to go wild. Shark Boy marches out onto the stage full of piss and vinegar, he's mouthing off at anyone and everyone, he has the UWF Championship belt firmly in his grasp as he does so. Shark Boy wastes no time storming down to ringside his eyes fixed on the task in hand his head bobbing side to side as he jaw jacks on his way to ringside as waves of fans reach out to their favourite masked man.
Tony Chimmel: Introducing, from the Deep Blue Sea, weighing in at 205 pounds... he is the UWF Champion....SHARK BOY!
Shark Boy stomps up the steps and through the ropes into the ring, he makes a b-line for the corner where he heads to the top rope and throws out the fin-salute to the crowd before throwing his two fists high into the air, the belt also flung high into the air for all the Shark-o-holics out there. Shark Boy repeats this at the three other corners before taking off his vest and waiting for the bell to sound.
DING DING!
As the ring bell sounds, Tommaso clobbers the UWF Champion with a forearm shot to the face. Shark Boy is visibly rattled by the hit as Tommaso blasts him with a Headbutt now, Sharky gradually getting knocked back towards the corner. Ciampa brings his leg upward now and kicks the champ in the face as Shark Boy’s head whips back and he hits the corner back first. As he hits, Ciampa charges and connects with a Corner Splash, then backs away as Sharky falls forward, Tomasso positioning himself to catch him on his shoulder as he stands up and pivots around before propelling himself forward, connecting with a jarring Running Powerslam. The champ sits up holding his back as Ciampa delivers a kick to the spine as Shark Boy pops up to his feet and actually takes a few small steps forward as Tommaso runs towards him and blasts him in the back of the head with another forearm shot. Shark Boy falls to his knees, his face buried in his arms on the mat as Ciampa goes running and leaps over him onto the middle rope then leaps off and comes down on Sharky’s head with a Modified Curb Stomp.
Tom Phillips: Well it’s no secret that Ciampa’s borrowed that one from a former UWF Champion.
Mauro Ranallo: Everything about that was sickening. The angle, the impact, all of it was just Mamma Mia!
Corey Graves: No need in sugar coating this. Plain and simple, Shark Boy’s getting his ass kicked right now!
As Shark Boy is still down from the last bit of offense inflicted on him, Tommaso looks to just be getting started as he grabs the defending champ by the back of the neck with one hand and the back of his tights with the other and picks him up before hurling him across the ring. Sharky hits the mat hard as Ciampa comes running, but Sharky shoots off the mat like a harpoon and takes his opponent down with a Spear. As Shark Boy gets up, Tommaso sits up holding his ribs as the Finned Fighter backhands him as hard as he can. Ciampa’s head rocks with the hit but, to the Bass Whipper’s surprise, he turns and looks at Shark Boy and asks for another. The UWF Champion obliges as he unloads with a stiffer backhand, this time putting Tommaso on the mat, as Shark Boy follows up with a Diving Fist Drop to the chest. As Ciampa sits up holding his chest, SCSB lunges at him and starts to bite his forehead.
Tom Phillips: Well I guess Shark Boy didn’t like what they had in catering earlier!
Mauro Ranallo: That or he didn’t fill up on it because Mamma Mia, he’s making a meal out of the challenger!
Corey Graves: Desperation, if you ask me!
As the biting continues, Ciampa manages to land a thumb to the eye and follows up with a knee to the stomach. As Shark Boy hunches over from the knee, Ciampa grabs him Gutwrench-style and hoists him up but Sharky slips off of Tommaso’s back and throws a kick backward to the back of Ciampa’s right knee as it buckles. The Boy Called Shark grabs Ciampa by the shoulders and drives him head first into the center turnbuckle, then throws him backwards as Tommaso hits the center of the ring and rolls, landing on his feet as he and the champ charge each other, both connecting with a Clothesline that takes the other down. Ciampa rolls onto his stomach after impact and punches the mat before getting to his feet but Shark Boy is already there as he connects with a Standing Dropkick that sends Ciampa into the corner downstage from the one they were just fighting in. Tommaso hits back first as Sharky connects with a Corner Splash before backing up and beginning to stomp a mudhole, Ciampa gradually sliding downward to a seated position with each stomp that connects.
As Ciampa ends up in a seated position and continues to eat stomps, Shark Boy relents for a second, then goes for a stomp to the head but Ciampa grabs his leg and throws him off balance. As Sharky takes a spill, Tommaso returns to a vertical base and raises his arms above his head, his fists meeting as he goes for a Falling Double Axe Handle but Shark Boy rolls out of the way and returns to a vertical base, delivering a kick to the spine of Ciampa before grabbing him around the waist and performing a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. As Tommaso pops up, Sharky charges him and goes to Clothesline him over the ropes but Ciampa sidesteps it and delivers a knee to the gut, grabbing Sharky Gutwrench-style again and charging forward, delivering a Powerbomb into the opposite ropes as Sharky bounces and finds himself in a seated position, his arms tangled in the ropes.
Tom Phillips: Shark Boy’s like a fish in a net now!
Ciampa starts teeing off on the head of his opponent with rapid punches now, then backs up and kicks him in the face. As Sharky is dazed, Tommaso hooks his arm around his head and delivers a DDT, spiking his opponent in a way that he’s slingshotted backward through the ropes into the ringside barricade. As Shark Boy tries to get up, Ciampa hits the opposite ropes and comes through the ropes in front of him with a Suicide Dive. Tommaso gets up after connecting with it and starts beating on his own chest. Tommaso turns his attention back to the champ now as he grabs him and leads him back to his feet, then goes for an Irish Whip into the ring post but Sharky manages to not budge and kicks Ciampa in the stomach, pivoting around and doing an Irish Whip, sending Ciampa harder into the ring post than Sharky would’ve hit because of their positioning. As Ciampa pops off the post, Sharky delivers a Big Boot to the back of his head, Ciampa’s head getting sandwiched between the boot and the post as he hits and then falls to the floor.
Mauro Ranallo: Ciampa’s been busted open!
Tommaso sits up, blood running down his face, as he hits the ground to each side of him with his fists before exploding up to a vertical base and nearly taking Shark Boy’s head off with a vicious Lariat. Ciampa starts brutally stomping on the champion now as hard as he can as DDP comes over and grabs him, guiding him away from Shark Boy as he tries to calm Ciampa down. As Shark Boy gets up, suddenly Page breaks away from the conversation and brushes past Ciampa but Sharky takes him down with a Lou Thesz Press, then gets up and takes a charging Ciampa down with a Lou Thesz Press as well as he starts teeing off on the head wound with stiff punches.
Tom Phillips: Well it looked like DDP was going to get physically involved but the UWF Champion was having none of that!
Mauro Ranallo: Shark Boy should still be careful because it’s still a two-on-one situation.
Corey Graves: They can get disqualified if they pull the wrong tricks though so maybe they’re the ones that need to be careful, Mauro.
As Shark Boy stands up, he guides Ciampa back to his feet and rolls him into the ring before sliding in after him. As they both get to a vertical base, Tommaso delivers a kick, his shin connecting flush with the abdomen of Shark Boy. As Sharky hunches over, Ciampa jumps to the side and brings his other leg around, sweeping the champ’s legs out from under him as Sharky hits the mat. Ciampa goes for an Elbow Drop now but Shark Boy kips up to avoid it and pivots, connecting with a Shining Wizard that sends Ciampa staggering into the ropes. Tommaso reaches out and manages to stop himself but the UWF Champion comes barreling towards him and grabs his head, delivering a form of Bulldog as Ciampa is dropped face first into the ropes and Sharky goes through the ropes and lands on his feet on the outside. Shark Boy turns and slides back into the ring now and gets to his feet as Tommaso sits up. Sharky swings his leg forward and the point of his boot connects with the sternum of the challenger as Ciampa falls onto his back, Shark Boy charging at him and going for a Falling Double Axe Handle but Ciampa raises his knees and that’s what Sharky hits as Tommaso uses the situation to roll through and fold the champ up.
ONE!
TWO!
EH-EH!
Shark Boy manages to kick out as both men get to their feet. Ciampa is enraged as he clobbers his opponent with a stiff forearm, but Sharky fires back with a hard punch. Ciampa shoves Shark Boy in the chest with both hands, then unloads with another forearm but the UWF Champion is still standing as he fires back with another punch. Ciampa goes for another forearm but Sharky ducks and runs into the opposite ropes so that as Tommaso turns around, he’s taken down by a Lou Thesz Press as the champion starts lighting into the head of his opponent with more punches.
Tom Phillips: The trusty forearms not quite landing like they did earlier in the match!
Mauro Ranallo: We’ve got an angry UWF Champion now and that’s no good for Ciampa!
Corey Graves: They’re just punches! It’s not like that’s a finishing move, guys!
Shark Boy stands up and delivers a few stomps, then starts motioning for his opponent to get up. Ciampa gets to his feet and goes for another forearm but the champion reverses into a Flapjack into the ropes. As Tommaso is bounced off the ropes, Shark Boy kicks him in the stomach but as he turns, Ciampa hits him in the back of the head with a forearm and then turns him around, connecting with another Headbutt. With Sharky groggy, Ciampa goes for the Diamond Cutter but Sharky pushes him and he hits nothing but mat. As Tommaso pops up, Shark Boy turns him around and kicks him in the stomach again, this time successfully following through and connecting with the Chummer! Shark Boy goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner and STILL the UWF Champion, Shark Boy!
As the referee hands Shark Boy the title, he ascends the nearest turnbuckle and poses with it.
Tom Phillips: Tommaso Ciampa fought hard but Shark Boy continues to be the alpha in these UWF waters.
Mauro Ranallo: One has to wonder if even the Royal Rumble winner has what it takes to dethrone him.
Corey Graves: Time will certainly tell on that one.
It is finally here! We have reached the Royal Rumble! Tonight, 30 0f UWF's top stars will be competing for a chance at immortality. But for one man, it's not just about WrestleMania. Tonight is also very personal. It's about ridding himself of a 150 pound annoyance.
LA Knight: Let Me Talk to 'Ya. Tonight is the most important night of my career. And normally, L...A...Knight is the most confident man in the business. Normally, nobody can stop me. Some people may call it arrogance; some people may call it being big-headed. L...A...Knight calls a simple fact of life. Normally, L...A...Knight thinks there's nobody in this business that can touch me. But tonight....this night...
Knight pauses, seemingly unsure of his next words.
LA Knight: 'Ya can bet 'ya ass that L...A...Knight thinks he's taking it home.
Knight smiles as his demeanor completely changes back to the brash, confident man we know and despise.
LA Knight: Did 'ya dummies think any differently? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint 'ya. Actually, I'm not sorry. I get great satisfaction in watching the look on all of 'ya faces when I do exactly what I say I'm going to do. It's like watching a child receive coal on Christmas morning. It gives me a feeling of euphoria...
Knight flexes and flashes his jewelry to the camera before continuing.
LA Knight: But not even the feeling I get by breaking all of your hearts will pale in comparison to how L...A....Knight is going to feel by the end of the night. Because in just a very few hours, L...A...Knight is going to have punched his ticket to the grandaddy of them all. L...A...Knight will be headed to the main event of WrestleMania. L...A...Knight will have a UWF Championship in his back pocket. 'Ya see, WresteMania is our Super Bowl. Well tonight...tonight is the Conference Championship. One win, one night changes how each and every one of 'ya look at L...A...Knight.
LA Knight: No more will y'all walk around and call me cocky. No more will there be questions of "How good is LA Knight?" All 'ya questions will be answered and then some. Cause I'm taking 29 other jabronis, throwing them over the top rope and getting that same feeling of joy as they realize their dreams are gone the same way I get to disappoint all of the slobs in the arena.
LA Knight: But 'ya want to know something even better. Hell, it may be better than winning the Rumble itself. And that is...tonight, I get to chump and humiliate a so called "legend" in Spike Dudley. Now, that little runt has been running his mouth for weeks. And it's taken everything in my power to not slap the lips right off his face and use them so he can kiss my ass. But now? I don't have to wait any more. I get to send that runt back to Dudleyville back on the Greyhound bus he pulled in on. And when it's over, maybe that dime piece Stacy will realize that this is the "gravy train" to the top.
LA Knight: Tonight, it's L....A....Knight's game. It's L....A....Knight's time. It's L....A....Knight's moment. And it's L....A....Knight's Rumble. And that's not an insult; that's just a fact of life.
And with that, the cocky loudmouth storms off, preparing for his big night.
Chimel: The following contest is set for one-fall!
Chimel: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Bristol, United Kingdom...."
Buzzard walks down towards the ring head down; Complete focus on what's to come, Buzzard closes his eyes as hard as humanly possible to try and drown out the chorus of boos. Buzzard slowly begins to make his way to the center of attention...
Chimel: Leyton Buzzard!
Buzzard moves his hands to the back of his head covering his ears to avoid atmosphere of the arena, Buzzard rolls his way into the ring where he rolls under, He places his body between top and middle rope as he waves his hands at the crowd, Buzzard takes a moment before realizing its fruitless to silence the crowd...
He throws himself into the corner as he kneels and sits on the bottom turnbuckle as he awaits his destiny...
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
A familiar phrase echoes throughout the arena, leading into the opening bassline of Headlong Flight by Rush and with it, the beginnings of cheers. However, as each instrument joins into the song, smoke begins to fill the stage and before long, a figure walks out from behind the stage into the smoke. As he steps out of the smoke, he looks from side to side before lightly jogging from end to end of the stage. He's not quite hyping the crowd up as normal, but the motions are starting to come back. The crowd isn't fully on Edge's side yet, but they're warming up to him. Halfway down the ramp, he pauses, crouching low, his face contorting as he bares his fangs and in one motion, uncoils upwards, his hands held high with devil horns as pyro explodes behind him.
As the pyro finishes, Edge lowers his head back to level, eyeing up the ring. Edge takes off running into the ring and slides in.
Chimel: And his opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds. He is the Ultimate Opportunist, Edge!
Edge yanks off his ring coat - he's ready for a fight. Tony can see it's about to go down and hurries to get out of the ring. After ensuring that both competitors are good to go, the Referee calls for the bell.
DING DING
The instant the bell sounds, Edge swarms Buzzard, pelting him with rights and lefts like a classic Canadian blizzard. With all that size he's got on the Brit, buoyed by some righteous anger, the former UWF Champ quickly overwhelms his opponent with the flurry. When Leyton doubles over, Edge beings to hammer on his back with clunky forearms, playing the guy's back like fellow family man Nick Cannon styling on a snare in the 2002 classic film Drumline.
Graves: Sheesh. This looks more like a hockey fight than a wrestling match.
Phillips: Well can you blame Edge for resorting to this after what Buzzard did to his best friend Christian on Revolution?
Graves: Oh please - Leyton showed him mercy! That could have gone so much worse. And where Edge in all that? He just let his so-called "brother" take that beatdown. Unbelievable.
Ranallo: I thought you were a fan of the Ultimate Opportunist, Corey.
Graves: Well I was when the guy still had that killer instinct. Something's been different about him lately. I'm not trying to be funny when I say this, but I think Edge has lost his, well, edge. This savage you see in the ring right now - that's the guy that dethroned Seth Rollins. That's the guy who won the King of the Ring. I don't need to see his home life with his kids. I definitely don't want to see him pandering to these moronic fans.
The fans cheering for him now is more a by-product of their delight in watching Buzzard get massacred. Even the members of the UWF Universe who aren't ready to give the Canuck a second chance yet are applauding as the reviled Limey gets black-and-blued.
Eventually, Leyton has no other recourse but to retreat towards the safety of the corner. He backs up and clings on to the ropes for dear life, waiting on the Official to save him from the onslaught. Sure enough, the third man steps in to break things up. It takes four-and-a-half beats of the five count before the relentless Rated R Superstar finally steps away, with the Ref placing a calming hand on his chest and giving him a stern warning not to push his luck like that again.
Buzzard is in really rough shape, curled up at the base of the post and leaning against it for support. But wait? What's this he's doing? Is he untying the padding on the the middle buckle? Dang rights he is. Feigning like he's more hurt that he really is, Leyton stays kneeling against the cables as his sneaky little fingers hurry to unknot the strings keeping the padding attached. The Official and Edge are too caught up in their conversation / argument / lecture to notice what he's up to. They don't see him toss the padding out of the ring.
Phillips: What's Buzzard doing? Why is he vandalizing the ring like that?
Graves: I think that padding came loose when Edge was illegally attacking him and he was trying to fix it, actually.
As far as Edge can tell, his opponent is ripe for the picking. The Referee has already backed him up to the far corner, so when he finally steps out of the way to let the match continue, Copeland is in prime position to set up for that signature Spear of his.
He crouches down like some kinda wild cat stalking his prey, eyeing up the feast, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. The crowd gets amped up with him as he extends a hand and beckons Buzzard to get up. Leyton makes pretend like he's groggier than he really is, rising on shaky legs, feigning a punch drunk stupor to lull the unawares hunter into his own trap.
Ranallo: Edge is playing right into Buzzard's hand and he doesn't even know it!
Phillips: I can't watch!
Finally, Leyton turns around, exposing his front side and making him sell ready for that Spear. Edge runs at him and lunges to deliver the kill shot only for Buzzard to dive out of the way! The Ultimate Opportunist is pot committed on the attack - he's already soaring through the air like a missile and can't pull up to avoid smashing his skull right into the exposed metal links that hold the ropes to the post!
He snaps back, bleeding from his forehead and dazed beyond belief. That wily Buzzard was waiting for him. He springboards off the nearby ropes and catches Edge around the neck to land a springboard Stunner with authority!
Graves: Air Leyton lands flush! Oh my goodness! Leyton Buzzard is about to pin the former world Champ! It's a miracle!
Phillips: He cheated! He sabotaged that turnbuckle! The Referee has to -
Graves: Shut up, Phillips! Nobody forced Edge to run into that thing! He did this to himself!
The Stunner turns Edge's lights out in a flash. He snaps off the shoulder upon impact and lands flat on his back. The desperate Buzzard scampers over and hooks both legs real deep for the emphatic pin while the fans lose their minds over what they see as horrible, unjust upset.
The Ref slides in to count it...
1...
2...
3...
DING DING
YOUR WINNER...
LEYTON BUZZARD!
Buzzard rolls off of Edge and blows past the Ref to hit the ropes and celebrate. He's sneering and shouting at the fans, rubbing it in their faces big time as they boo the heck out of him. Edge stars to sit up, looking confused about what just even happened.
Ranallo: Ladies and gentlemen... I don't know what to tell you except that Leyton Buzzard just kicked off 2023 with a pay-per-view win over the Hall of Famer - the former UWF Champion - the man who just headlined Slammiversary, Edge.
Phillips: This has to be the biggest win of Buzzard's young career.
Graves: And think about this - half of the roster have matches before the Royal Rumble tonight. Who is going to be as fresh as Leyton Buzzard going into the main event? He got in and one of this fight with minimal damage, and if he can beat Edge, who's to say he can't win the whole damn thing?
Leyton jumps down to the floor and struts up the ramp, proud as peacock while the fans try and out-shout his music with their hate. Edge gets up and wipes off the blood, leaning against the ropes as he shakes his head, disappointed. The Rumble rolls on!
The scene opens with Cody Rhodes staring at the camera while he is sitting down and he is dressed in his fancy suit.
Cody Rhodes: Welcome everyone, it is time for the Royal Rumble. We are here and we are going to give you the greatest performance that you have ever seen tonight. Speaking of greatest performance, expect one of them that include your truly facing the longest UWF TV Champion Trevor Lee tonight. I have waited far too long to hold a precious championship gold around my waist and now the wait is over. It is time for me to win my first championship back since my grand return. It couldn't have been a better moment that I get to dethrone Trevor Lee and become your brand new UWF TV Champion. I honestly admit Trevor Lee had an amazing run as UWF TV Champion. He is extremely talented and has fought everything he can to keep the UWF TV Championship around his waist.
But it is too bad that his reign is about to end tonight and it is my turn to shine. This is the moment that I have fought hard to get to ever since I have returned. As you see, I didn't only fight to prove myself. I have fought for you beloved fans, my family and friends. I am doing it for you all. You all know I will stop at nothing to accomplish all my goals here in UWF. This is a huge opportunity to prove to everyone that I still got. After tonight, the mind games are over Trevor Lee and your time as UWF TV Champion is over. It is time for everyone to witness a brand new UWF TV Champion and his name is none other than the American Nightmare Cody Rhodes!!!
Also this will bring me closer to achieving one of my goals and one day, I will capture the UWF Championship some day. As of now, my main focus is winning the UWF TV Championship. There isn't a damn thing that Trevor or his buddy Butcher can do anything to stop me because I will give it my all. I will stop at nothing until I die to do whatever it takes to win. So you better be prepared because your dreams are about to become nothing but a nightmare Trevor Lee.
I will see you at the Royal Rumble where I will end the night with my hand raised at the brand new UWF TV Champion!!!
The scene fades and ends with Cody laughing.
We head back to the ring where Eddie Kingston is already in the ring, waiting for the champion.
Suddenly the lights start to darken and flicker...
Cheers begin to ring all around the arena as the music plays and Danhausen takes to the stage. After a couple of slow spins around the stage area, Danhausen then raises his arms and gives out a determined yell as the crowd pops in appreciation.
Tony Chimel
Making his way to the ring, from Someplace Far Away, weighing at least 300lbs, Danhausen!!
Danhausen heads down the ramp, waving politely at some of the fanhausens in attendance before he hops up onto the apron and signals the nearby cameraman to get a close up shot of him. Danhausen then points directly into the camera lens and yells “Love That Danhausen!” before climbing through the middle rope and posing in the center of the ring with his arms held high once again.
DING DING DING
Eddie charges right at Danhausen and levels him with a Forearm to the face that knocks him into the corner. It's been over a year that Kingston has been in UWF and despite a great win/loss record and numerous big matches and main events, he has still yet to win a title. The lack of gold as gotten to him a bit and he's fighting like this is his last chance. He clobbers Danhausen over and over in the corner until the ref has to pull him away at the waist. He runs right back at Danhausen but the Intercontinental Champion gets the boot up and kicks him in the face. Eddie stumbles back a few steps and Danhausen isn't about to just get punked out. He comes right out of the corner and starts unloading with Forearms of his own. Eddie is now taking the full brunt of his offense but he retaliates with a Knife Edge Chop to the chest! This is enough to stop Danhausen dead in his tracks and Eddie just pulls him in and throws him on his head with a Saito Suplex! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
Danhausen kicks out right away! Eddie grabs him in a Chin Lock right away and pulls him down to the mat trying to ground him.
Mauro Ranallo: This match is a must win for Eddie Kingston here.
Corey Graves: Every match is a must win and Eddie has done nothing but fail his entire career. If he goes down to Danhausen, he's the chump I've always said he is.
Danhausen has managed to fight back up to a seated position. He turns over onto his knees and starts to rise up but Eddie lets go and just clubs him in the back of the head to knock him back down to his knees. Eddie runs to the ropes but Danhausen pops up and gives him a Big Boot! Eddie goes down and before the champ can follow up, Eddie rolls to the outside of the ring. Danhausen walks over and exits onto the apron. It's looking like he might be setting up for the Tequila Kicks but instead he just runs right at Eddie and flips onto him with a Senton! The crowd pops for the Very Nice man but he's about to do something Very Evil. He picks up Eddie and puts his arm behind him back in a Hammerlock. He then shoves him shoulder first into the steel ring post! Eddie falls to the mat holding his shoulder with a look of agony on his face.
Tom Phillips: Eddie Kingston is about to regret coming after a man who calls himself Very Evil.
Corey Graves: If Danhausen causes the end of Eddie Kingston, I may finally become a fan of his.... for one night.
The Intercontinental Champion picks up Kingston and tosses him back into the ring. Eddie gets to his feet but Danhausen is right to kick him in the gut and try to hook him for the Goodnighthausen. Eddie rushes forward and manages to back Danhausen into the corner. The ref goes to separate the two and Danhausen slowly lifts his hands up. Eddie slowly does the same and stands straight up but then gives Danhausen a jab to the face and then he sweeps his legs out from under him so he falls to a seated position. He walks away leaving the ref to check on his opponent but Kingston then runs right back over and boots the hell out of Danhausen in the face! He drags the Intercontinental Champion out of the corner and makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Danhausen kicks out! Eddie mounts him and grabs a handful of hair with both hands. He then brings his head up only to Headbutt him back down to the mat. He grabs the head and does it once more, then another time, and another. He unleashes a rapid series of Headbutts and stops looking loopy himself. He's on top of the champion though so the ref makes another count.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Danhausen gets the shoulder up at 2! Kingston gets off of his opponent and crawls over to the corner, those Headbutts being a double edged sword. Danhausen crawls over to the opposite corner and both men pick themselves up with some help from the ropes. They manage to look over at each other at the same time and scowls come across both their faces. They march to the middle of the ring and grab each other by the back of their heads and start swinging like a good old fashioned hockey fight! Eddie seems to be getting the better of the exchange but Danhausen retaliates with a poke to the eyes! Very Evil! Eddie turns away blinded and Danhausen grabs him from behind and executes a German Suplex! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Kingston kicks out! Danhausen looks over at his jar of teeth and looks back at Eddie. He opts to not bother with it and instead just starts pummeling the challenger with punches. Eddie covers up as best he can until he just rolls away to the apron. Danhausen comes over and brings him up. He goes to Suplex him back into the ring but Eddie blocks it and brings Danhausen to the outside of the ring instead. Luckily the champion manages to reposition himself and land feet first on the apron. He gives Eddie a few shots but an Elbow Shot to the face backs Danhausen into the ring post. Eddie runs right at him but the Intercontinental Champion jumps off the apron and Eddie bounces off head first into the steel ring post! It looks like he's knocked out as he leans over it in the corner but Danhausen comes back up and grabs him from behind to give him another German Suplex, this time on the apron!
Tom Phillips: Danhausen is just beating the hell of of Eddie Kingston here!
Mauro Ranallo: Looks like Kingston fucked around and found outhausen.
Eddie lies motionless on the apron and so the Evil One comes back into the ring and drags him towards the center where he makes the pin.
1 . . .
2 . . .
Kingston kicks out! Despite his best efforts to just beat the hell out of Eddie Kingston, Danhausen can't seem to put the man away. Suddenly he gets an idea. He brings Eddie up and throws him on top of his shoulders. CM Punk is one of the few who managed to keep Eddie down so why couldn't Danhausen do the same? He throws him up for the Very Nice, Very Kneevil but Eddie catches his knee and throws him back into an Exploder Suplex! Danhausen lands with such force that he sits up and Eddie runs to the ropes and comes back with the Sliding D to the back of the had! The champ is knocked out as Eddie makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
But no! Danhausen kicks out at the last second!
Mauro Ranallo: Eddie Kingston has put away just about everyone he's shared a ring with with that move but Danhausen just kicked out!
Corey Graves: Eddie's trash, I keep telling people. He doesn't have what it takes to become a champion.
Tom Phillips: I'm obviously going to root for Danhausen above all else but that's just a ridiculous statement Corey.
Corey Graves: Is it? Or has history proved me right time and time again.
Eddie looks shocked and he starts shaking his head mumbling to himself. He grabs a fistful of hair and brings the champion up to his feet. He starts talking some trash and slaps him in the face a few times. All this does is awaken Danhausen enough so that when Eddie goes for the Spinning Backhand, Danhausen ducks it and shoves Kingston into the ropes. The challenger comes off them and ends up getting scooped onto Danhausen's shoulders who then quickly throws him up and this time hits the Very Nice, Very Kneevil! Eddie falls on all fours and Danhausen then looks to his jar of teeth and this time goes over to grab them. He brings it over to Kingston and opens up his mouth. He pours the teeth down his mouth and then closes it up. He follows that up with the Big Boot, sending the teeth flying all over the ring! Danhausen makes the cover!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Kingston kicks out! Danhausen picks him up right away and hooks both arms in the double underhook. Eddie fights to keep him from clasping his hands together and manages to break free, spinning around to level him with a Spinning Backfist! The champ gets knocked around and Kingston grabs both arms, hooking them and popping his hips back into a Tiger Suplex! Danhausen flops over but tries to get up. He loses his balance and falls into the corner where Eddie comes running in with an Arched Big Boot of his own to knock Danhausen's block clean off. From there, Eddie starts popping off with multiple Knife Edge chops in machine gun style. Danhausen walks along the ropes to try and get away but Eddie pulls him away and in for a Belly to Belly. Danhausen throws his head forward and Headbutts Eddie and breaks free. Eddie is stunned and so Danhausen goes low and grabs him for a Northern Lights Suplex into the bridge!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Kingston kicks out once more! Danhausen rolls over looking downright depleted but he's not about to give up just yet. He gets to his feet while Eddie has rolled over to the ropes, trying to pick himself up. His back is turned and he doesn't notice Danhausen slowly start to lift his fingers to curse him. Kingston however spins around before he can initiate the curse and kicks Danhausen in the gut! The Mad King then drives him into the mat with a Piledriver! Danhausen's body flops to the side and Kingston makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
Danhausen kicks out!
Tom Phillips: These two are fighting like they've hated each other for months.
Corey Graves: I think everyone just hates Eddie Kingston. He brings out the worst in people.
Mauro Ranallo: Or he's bringing out the best of the competition.
Corey Graves: No that can't be it.
Kingston brings Danhausen back up to a vertical base. He yells in his face that it's his time now before he runs to the ropes. He comes back looking for a Lariat but Danhausen ducks it. Eddie hits the ropes but Danhausen has followed him over and connects with a knee to the gut, cutting him off! With Eddie hunched over, he sets him up for the Goodnighthausen but Eddie drops to his knees. The Intercontinental Champion tries to force Kingston back up but Eddie just takes a bite right into the thigh of Danhausen! Very evil! Danhausen yells out in pain and releases his grip. He turns away and Eddie takes him out at the knee from behind with a Chop Block! Danhausen goes down and Eddie runs to the ropes, coming back for another American D to the back of the head! He makes the pin!
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . ..
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, and NEW Intercontinental Champion, Eddie Kingston!
Mauro Ranallo: He's done it! Eddie Kingston is finally a champion in the UWF.
Corey Graves: I knew I shouldn't have trusted Danhausen to put him away.
Tom Phillips: Eddie may have won this match but Danhausen isn't going to take too kindly to how he won it.
Eddie is handed his new Intercontinental Championship and he stares into it. The ref is checking on the former champ but Kingston stands up and raises the title over his head, proud to be it's new owner as the show moves on.
The scene opens up on Batista looking into the camera.
”The Hollywood Animal” Batista: There’s not a lot of need for me to get into what tonight’s main attraction is about, because it’s already known: thirty competitors with one winner. What I will remind you of is who that winner’s gonna be. It’s not LA Knight, it’s not Trevor Lee, it’s yours truly Big Dave Batista. The, “Hollywood Animal”, the, “Feature Presentation”, the, “Final Boss”. But it’s not just that that I’m winning, I’m also going to win Anarchy Rulez tonight. Because Kyle, it’s been fun but after battering you around these past few months, it’s time for me to move on to different things and because of the Prime Time Medal and winning the Rumble, those different things are the Intercontinental and UWF Championships. So I want the contenders and champions to take notice because I am the next obstacle that’s coming barreling towards you and just like tonight, I’m going to leave the encounter with everything I came with and everything I came for.
Batista walks offscreen as Royal Rumble continues elsewhere.
Royal Rumble has been everything you have expected it to be and even more. The crowd are buzzing, the superstars are buzzing, just buzzing all around the place. The scene fades to black, leaving everything in darkness before the titantron and tv screens flash back into life with the caption "Earlier this week" in the middle of the shot. It fades away and gets replaced by two hall of famers sitting on a couch, Bubba & D-Von of the Dudley Boyz.
Bubba Dudley: Welcome everyone to the Podcast coming straight from Dudleyville...... To Wood or not To Wood. I'm still a little upset we didn't go with our original name of How Much Wood Would A Dudley Chuck If A Dudley Could Chuck Wood?
D-Von: It doesn't quite roll of the tongue though, does it?
Bubba: I'm not upset...... just disappointed.
D-Von: Did you just Daddy Dudley the podcast name?
Bubba: I didn't put it through a Table?
D-Von: You don't put much on the table either. Just from oven, straight to belly.
Bubba: It's called Pork belly, isn't it? Not Pork Table!!!!
D-Von: Anyway anyway, this special Podcast isn't actually about us today. This special l podcast is actually sponsored by our ex-employees in UWF. Remember how much fun we had working there Bubba?
Bubba: God, I got my ass kicked so many times there. We weren't the best at the end of it either were we?
D-Von: Meh, we were okay. Not up to our usual standards but I just like to think that's because the talent was getting better rather than we were getting worse.
Bubba: Believe what you want, I'm okay with it.
D-Von: I think I did and will always believe in is our little Half Brother Spike Dudley who has recently returned to UWF without us and without Stacy for the time being.
Bubba: Why would he do that? Does he not remember how many times we saved that little runts ass? Let's be honest, without us and Stacy, he was absolutely nothing. In fact, I know he was a champion in UWF but I'm going to start a petition to make me a champion as well.
D-Von: Umm Bubba Ray Dudley, might want to get yourself to Specsavers, you do realize he is siting right in front of you and can hear everything you say?
Bubba's face drops as the camera swings around showing Spike looking at his brother, still with a little smile on his face.
Bubba's face turns, now having an even bigger grin then Spike's. He starts to laugh as he gives Spikes the thumbs up.
Bubba: Hey, whatup dawgggggg. How you been brother? I just wanted to say it's an absolute pleasure to have you on our Podcast. Our 2 fans which is normally 3 but Snot is still in the hospital. Something about a Knight. I kind of stopped listening but I had no idea he jousted or did reenactments of the Stone Age.
Spike: No Bubba, Snot Dudley is in the hospital because of a guy named L.A Knight.
Bubba: Thank God I'm not there anymore, I conquered the Knight when I was 15 years old. The nightlight was gone, and I became a man so I would turn Knight into Day and then Day into Evening then Evening into Morning then Morning into Dinner then Dinner into Lunch then Lunch into Breakfast......... God I'm hungry. What's for Dinner D-Von?
D-Von: This might be why we only have 3 listeners. I have read off one of his signs though that Sign Guy Dudley would listen, but he is waiting until we print the shows on signs for him to read.
Bubba: Ain't nobody got time for that.
D-Von: For once I agree but let's get to why we have Spike on the show today. Spike, you make your return at the Royal Rumble to take on L.A Knight and if that wasn't enough to test how much you got left, you have decided to announce yourself for the Royal Rumble match as well. Aren't you nervous you have bitten off more than you can chew?
Spike: Come on Brother, you aren't Renee Young, you don't need to turn this into an interview. Let's just chat and catch up but I will answer you first and I will get my feelings out the way towards L.A Knight and the Rumble. One thing I've never been afraid of is to bite off more than I can chew. After all, it's not about size of the dog in a fight but the size of the fight in a dog so it's doesn't matter how big my bite marks are, I'm going to leave them all over the Royal Rumble. It seems every single week after I returned, L.A Knight has tried to push me further and further.
Bubba: L.A..... You reckon that his first name is Lasagna?
Spike: Don't care.... won't care but every single week he has done something that I have not agreed with. At Rebellion, that was the final straw for me. As you boys know, once you bring my family into my business, it oversteps the boundary. Snot Dudley had no business being at Rebellion, but I was happy he got his moment in the sun. I was happy for him to go one on one with one of the best talents UWF has to offer. It was when the match was over, he really pissed me off.
D-Von: To be honest with you bro, I think this L.A Knight guy might be the real deal. He took Snot apart and then beat holy crap out of you and left you laying, you really think you go what it takes?
Bubba: D-Von... did you just use the word Holy and then swear?
Spike: You know what D-Von, how many times have we seen the real deal? How many times have we seen the next best thing that one day will join us in the UWF Hall of Fame? We have seen people that make a bigger impact then we did in a short amount of time but The Dudley Boyz, we are always there, and you know what, I thank you for showing some doubts towards me. I think I might have been stupid and silly for having doubts myself, but everyone that I have spoken to thinks I have no chance against the red-hot youngster. My nieces and nephews will always have faith in me but even some of them can't look me in the eye and say I've done the right thing in coming back and going up against the best in the UWF at this moment in time. I know the kids good, I know what the kid can do, hell I'm still banged up from his assault at Rebellion.
Bubba: Actually, I saw that. He really did turn you Pink and Dudley didn't he? I mean he beat you. He smashed you. He annihilated you. How are you still walking my brother?
Spike: You want to know how I'm still walking? I'm still walking because my job isn't done. I have to teach him a lesson that only us oldies can teach. I need to teach him respect, I need to humble him and I need to prove him wrong. I've seen people like him, if people don't get to him early, it becomes harder and harder because their heads keep getting bigger and bigger.
D-Von: Kind of like Bubba's gut?
Bubba: It is harder to make someone feel a punch or Dudley Dog with a bigger head. Would you be able to grip their head for it? Like I don't even think you have another move do you other than "Getting Ass Kicked"
Spike: You see, both of you see this as a joke. L.A Knight sees this as a joke or a gimmick. He sees this as me needing him for my last 15 minutes of fame, but Uncle Spike Dudley is so much more than that. I haven't come back to waste anyone's time and to prove that, that's why I entered into the Royal Rumble as well. I wanted to show L.A Knight and the world that I'm not a celebrity cow that gets milked every now and then to boost ratings. I'm not a cow that gets brought back to earn that one last paycheck. I came back because I got the itch, and I came back for the right reasons. Selfish reasons.... it might seem that way for some but the right reasons none the less.
Bubba: Have you noticed how close the word reasons are to seasons and all I'm thinking of now is the different seasoning that goes on food.
D-Von: You know what Spike, you are right. I did see it as a joke, I did have my doubts but seeing you right now, I know you are ready. I know you are ready for the fight of your life, and I know, as God as my witness that L.A Knight is in for the fight of his life at the Royal Rumble.
Spike: Thank you. My plan is to make everyone else see the light just like you did and as for the Royal Rumble, listen I know that match will be the hardest match I've ever been in, and no one there wants me to come back and succeed. Everyone wants me to go out without so much as a whisper but I'm ready for that as well. I have my strategy to outlast & through 29 other men or women over the top rope.
Bubba: Now let me stop you right there Spike...... that has always annoyed the Snot Dudley out of me. Do you know what number you have drawn yet?
Spike: Nope.
Bubba: Say you draw Number 30 and there has already been 20 eliminations, you only have to outlast 9 other guys. Let's just say, 3 of the other guys get an elimination, that leaves 6 guys in the ring that you have to beat. You may not have to worry about 29 guys, you literally may only have to deal with 3 or 6 or 10.
Spike: Hey, I'm not going to argue with you brother. You have been in one of these where I have not. Do you have any tips for me?
Bubba: MY only tip Spike would be to watch out for that bastard R-Truth!!! I remember one time he chucked me over the rope and got a ladder. I sprained my neck looking up at him and then I was injured in the normal Rumble Match.
D-Von: It's a long story but Truth once interrupted our training for the Rumble. Took him 2o minutes and a claim to be able to cash in his newly won Money in the Bank briefcase at WrestleMania before he got that it was only training, and he had the wrong match.
Spike: I do remember that. I wonder what his up to these days?
Bubba: Who cares, all I know is that I can't handle the R-Truth.
D-Von: I can't handle you most days.
Bubba: You know what D-Von, I had enough of your crap at the annual Christmas Dudley Table Fight which I was cheated out of again for the 15th year straight but now..... I'm actually cool with you.
D-Von: You know what Bubba, that was kind of a waste. Listen Listen, right now I feel we should say goodbye to the UWF Universe. Thank you for joining us and Spike, good luck at the Rumble. Just know that we have your back, and we are ready to celebrate a Dudley win.
Bubba: Just remember...... To Wood or not To Wood.
Bubba and D-Von smiling down the barrel of the camera with Spike giving the two thumbs up towards it. The noise cuts out and starts to zoom out from the brothers as they are talking onscreen but have been muted as the Royal Rumble travels elsewhere and gets back to usual programming.
Tony Chimel: From Atlanta, Georgia, Making their way to the ring, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
The pryo goes off as the American Nightmare comes out to a massive ovation from the roaring crowd and he has a huge smile on his face.
Cody makes his way down to the ring as he awaits the UWF Television Champion, Trevor Lee...
When the southern alt. rock hit "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" starts playing throughout the arena, the fans' ready to give the man best known either as the mayor of Harlan, Kentucky or as the current UWF Television Champion, one mister Trevor Lee a piece of their collective minds. A few moments pass as the crowd begins to simmer down as the Television Champion isn't strutting his way to the ring. The crowd's confused but not as confused as the man standing in the ring, Cody Rhodes...
The referee trying to make sense of the situation is frantically looking for a queue as to what he should do, Cody begins to question the referee as he has no idea where mister Lee is despite being scheduled to defend for his UWF Television Title. Rhodes goes to exit the ring to search for Lee backstage to get his country ass out to defend his UWF Television Championship; Cody is stopped dead in his tracks by the bear-like hands of the mayor of Harlan's associate, Andy "The Butcher" Williams, clobbering his back causing welts almost instantly. Cody is turned around as the powerhouse follows up with an overhead chop which just about puts a dent in the top of Rhodes' head with the impact...
Andy not taking a moment before deadlifting Rhodes like a log onto his shoulder, The "Butcher" moves towards the center of the ring as if he isn't carrying a two-hundred-pound plus man on his shoulder, Williams violently and suddenly slams the American Nightmare into the canvas the impact leaves Rhodes struggling to intake air as Williams grabs hold of his hair to continue the punishment.
Tom Phillips: "Lee sticking the butcher onto Rhodes to try and get out of his title commitment tonight, How barefaced can you be with your disregard for your own commitment? This is not the champion's way."
Corey Graves: "Tom its history tonight Lee will walk in as Television Champion and walk out as Television Champion and winner of the Royal Rumble!."
Mauro Ranallo: "If Lee isn't fired for this stunt!
Andy forces Rhodes the would-be challenger to his feet with one hand nearly tearing the hairs from the head of Cody; Butcher uses his free hand to seize the neck of Rhodes, Andy lifts Cody above his head realeasing his hold of Rhodes' hair as using the one hand around the throat of Cody as he holds him for a moment showing off his beast-like strength. Andy slams the head and back of Rhodes firmly into the canvas with a huge impact...
Tom Phillips: "Massive chokeslam by Andy Williams, We need someone to regain control of the situation out here..."
Corey Graves: "I don't think Rhodes' will be able to wrestle after tonight with the beating by the beast known as Andy "The Butcher" Williams"
Andy looking pleased has one more order of business to make sure the job is done, Butcher lifts the body of Rhodes to its feet as he steps back before his arm downright nearly decapitates Rhodes as he runs right through his target as Cody ragdolls as if he was in a car crash...
Corey Graves: "Cody just lost his head because it was getting too big and getting in the business of the champ."
Tom Phillips: "Lee is go--"
Tom Phillips: "Now that no good fox shows his face when Andy has done the dirty work..."
The titantron flares to life as the southern alt. rock hit "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" starts playing throughout the arena for a second time, The crowd's scorn at a burning high as the champion finally struts out fixing up his jacket and polishing his title with a lil bit of spit shine. Mister Lee looks almighty proud of himself as he makes his way to the ring. He slowly wipes his feet on the steel steps as he uses his free hand to wave off his associate, Butcher without a word gets out of the ring and begins heading to the back. Lee gets into the ring as the referee asks him what the hell he was thinkin'...
Tom Phillips: "Lee didn't think this through he is going to be punished and the referee will not start the match what does he get out of this..."
Corey Graves: "He is champion that's what he gets from this. I know I say this a lot but this is actually pure genius"
Lee smiles as the referee turns to throughout the match, He goes to motion but his arm is stopped dead in its tracks, Cody through sheer willpower holding onto the arm of the referee as he shakes his head, Cody wants this match even if it cost him his career. The referee continues the motion but instead of calling off the match he calls for the bell to initiate the fight...
Mauro Ranallo: "The heart of a champion no matter what wanting to fight despite the clear disadvantage"
Corey Graves: "Cody is clearly a mad man who escaped the insane asylum or he is an idiot!"
DING! DING! DING!
Tom Phillips: "The match gets underway no matter what you think Corey!"
Lee kicks the closest rope in anger that he has to compete twice in one night, Lee pushes between the referee and the challenger as he pushes his title into the chest of the official. Lee flails his arms as he is rolled into a neat package but Lee rolls through on the package attempt as he notices Rhodes is in a perfect position hunched over, Lee jumps up sending both of his boots into the back of the head spiking Cody's nose first into the canvas, The mayor of Harlam scrambles to cover...
ONE!
Corey Graves: "Lee continues to make history!"
TWO!
THREE
Cody at the last possible millisecond kicks out. Lee going into a complete meltdown as he was unable to put away the fan favorite arguing with the referee and holding up three fingers; Mister Lee thought he had the match in the bag but it was ripped away from him at the last moment...
Corey Graves: "THAT WAS THREE I DEMAND A RECOUNT!"
Lee looks to finish off Cody as he wraps his arm around Rhodes' neck, Lee stands the nightmare to his feet as Lee places his arm under the shoulder of Cody as his hand with Lees free hand, Lee places his leg in front of Rhodes the two men are about to go for a dream ride...
Tom Phillips: "Lee looking to put an exclamation point to make sure Rhodes ends up on dream street"
Rhodes uses the arm holding onto his own arm to his advantage, Rhodes catches Lee off guard as he throws him to the canvas with a simple arm drag causing the champion some trouble, Lee gets to his feet quickly as he is as fresh as they come, Rhodes in another moment of clarity grabs between the legs and shoulder and turns as he slams Trevor, Rhodes using the mayor's momentum against Lee...
Mauro Ranallo: "Back to basics for Cody to try and get into this unfair dog fight"
Tom Phillips: "The awareness shown by Cody seeing that slight opening in this assault..."
Cody takes a moment before getting to his base he flexes his entire torso like the warrior he is, Lee stumbles to his feet caught unaware as Rhodes' already running up the ropes and springboarding towards the stunned champ, Cody catches onto Lee's head as he brings both men crashing hard into the canvas...
Corey Graves: "Lee will be able to get control back soon when the gas tank runs on E for Mr. Pretty Boy"
Tom Phillips: "So you think Cody is pretty Graves?"
Corey Graves: "Shut your mouth, Tom."
Mister Lee crawls to the turnbuckles as he uses them to get to his base, Rhodes slow to stand from the sustained damage from his opponent's associate. The two men in pain as Rhodes jumps into the corner with Lee hitting him with an overhead elbow before grabbing onto his head and running him out of the corner pulling Lee along by his head as Rhodes falls to his back causing Lee's face to smack right off the canvas below...
Tom Phillips: "Bulldog from Cody fighting back and taking control over his own destiny..."
Corey Graves: "I also have another bull word for this match, Cody is not going to win..."
Cody bangs on the canvas to try and get the blood pumpin', Rhodes slowly gets to his feet as Lee gets to a knee, and Mister Lee throws a jab that connects right to the neck tattoo of Cody which is blocked as Cody turns Lee around and bends him backward for the finish but Lee follows through with the turn around pushing Rhodes to the ropes, Cody jumps onto the ropes and off the springboard swings a boot which connects on the top of the head of Harlams finest. Lee from the impact of the kick stumbles backward before falling right through the middle rope to the outside of the ring...
Tom Phillips: "Disaster kick causing disaster on Lee's plan"
Cody stumbles to his feet as he holds onto his stomach as he runs towards the ropes; Rhodes launches himself using the ropes as a slingshot over the top, Cody crashes into Lee who is trying to get a little bit of reprieve from the sudden assault by his Nightmare.
Mauro Ranallo: "TOPE SUICIDA"
Cody and Lee were downed in a car wreck on the outside of the ring, All of a sudden a familiar figure comes running down to the ring, Butcher, Cody realizing the danger quickly gets to his feet and ducks the lariat attempt. He throws a few jabs into his nose of Andy causing the big man to stumble back before Andry grips the back of Cody's head and tries to whip him into the barricade but no Cody using momentum turns and whips Butcher right through the barricade...
Tom Phillips: "Chaos at ringside..."
Corey Graves: "This distraction is all Lee needs to win. GENIUS..."
The momentary distraction is enough for Lee, He grabs Cody unexpectedly and whips him face-first into the steel post, He follows by throwing the stunned nightmare into the ring, Lee looks over to his insurance policy and friend, Andy, as Lee enters the ring to finish what he and Butcher started...
Tom Phillips: "Lee knows what is to be done it's END GAME TOM..."
Lee looks to finish off Cody as he wraps his arm around Rhodes' neck, He lifts Cody to his feet. Lee hooks the opposite hand as he pulls back for Political Aspirations, Cody turns his arm in one motion he grabs the head of Lee, He bends Mister Lee back before swinging him around violently, Rhodes spikes the head of Lee on the canvas as he quickly makes a cover...
ONE...
Corey Graves: "No!"
TWO...
THREE...
Tom Phillips: "YES ITS OVER, The reign of terror is over...
DING! DING! DING!
Cody stumbles to his feet as he tears up, Once again your Television Champion. Rhodes looks around as the crowd is shocked and elated the reign of terror is over. Cody has his hand raised by the referee who hands him the Television Title...
Tony Chimel "The winner of this bout and NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION, CODY RHODES!...
Cody raises the title above his head as the former champion looks almost too calm about the loss, His mind elsewhere but still the bitter moment for the former champ, Cody celebrates with the crowd once more climbing the turnbuckle to pose with his newly won title...
The titantron switches from the UWF Royal Rumble graphic to a live feed from backstage. There's a room we haven't seen in a long time now, one that we almost forgot about. Once upon a time, it was the nWo's private club house. Then it was repurposed as the Strong Dragon Dojo. Next, is was a trashed massacre courtesy of the Undisputed Era - a symbol of a shipwrecked friendship. Bischoff had a contract set-up from day one making it so the road crew had to set the place up exactly how they found in every arena the UWF came to. They've been moving the junk from one city to the next for years. From time to time, Kyle O'Reilly goes back to the ol' stomping grounds for some alone time. With Granna and Miguel in the hospital and Bayley laid out by Batista the other day, and with all the pals he made along the way somewhere else now, The Diabetic Dragon has had a lot more alone time than usual lately.
Sitting on a stack of broken stuff under a flickering light, O'Reilly addresses the camera in there with him.
KO'R: I've got a list of names carved into the back of my bedroom door. I see them every morning before I leave, and every night before I go to bed. They're the ones I swore to get revenge on - the ones who went too far that need pay back.
There's a simmering, lethal energy coming off the Human Swiss Army Knife right now. Navy Red Chakra.
KO'R: The problem is that all of them keep leaving before I get the chance to put a line through their names. Bobby Fish. Adam Cole. Roderick Strong. Vinny Marseglia.
The only one that's here right now is Dave Batista. The newest one. I wrote his name the biggest, too.
Kyle's staring off into the mid-distance, half lost in some violent fantasy.
KO'R: He just keeps pushing... and pushing... and pushing... cause he thinks he can away with anything. He thinks the rules don't apply to him. That's why I gotta fight him in Anarchy Rulez... cause there aren't any rules. Its the only place we can settle this once and for all.
But also... the thing is... and I was never any good in science class, but I remember this - there's one kinda rule you can't break, and you can't ignore, and you can't sneak around. That's the rule of nature. Physics and stuff. And part of that is you keep pushing and pushing and pushing like Batista has, eventually something's gonna push back. That's just how it is.
O'Reilly looks up and points at himself in the chest.
KO'R: I'm what pushes back.
I can tell you haven't been taking me serious and that's the dumbest mistake you've ever made, Batista. You crossed too many lines and you pushed too many buttons and now what happens is this - now I go out there and beat the ever loving snot out of you. I take your Prime Time Medal. I take your Hollywood Championship. I take you claim to being the toughest guy here. And you know what? I might take an arm home with me, too, cause you're a S-O-B and I want you to hurt for it.
He stands up, ready for action now.
KO'R: I'm gonna shut up you and everyone else who still thinks I'm like some kinda joke and can't hack it here. I'm gonna do to you what I wish I could do to everyone else who ever messed with me and got away with it. I'm sick of having all these effing names on my door. I need to cross one off big time.
Batista... dude... you've gotten away with a lot of junk, but you're down to your last life and it's about to be game over, buddy. I'm gonna friggin nuke you.
With that, Kyle storms off. The Rumble rolls on!
"Knight Vision" begins to play throughout the arena and the capacity begins to groan because they know what time it is. It is time to titillate their juices with the arrival of the "Thursday Night Thriller". This is the "Million Dollar Megastar". This is LA Knight. Knight does not take long bursting through the curtain and out onto the stage. The reception he receives isn't warm whatsoever but LA Knight does not care. He soaks in the atmosphere while the jeers rain down on him.
Tony Chimel: Ladies and Gentlemen, coming to the ring, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 230 pounds, he is the "Million Dollar Megastar", L...A....Knight!
As Chimel announces the brash star from Baltimore, Knight spells his name out in the air just to make sure that everyone knows exactly who he is.
Knight continues down the ramp towards the ring. The entire time he talks trash to all the people in the front row. He's not here for them; he's here for himself. As he reaches the end of the aisleway, he heads towards the hard camera before leaping onto the ring apron and posing for everyone to see him. There is no shortage in confidence in Knight tonight, as he enters the ring, climbs the nearest turnbuckle and throws up the "LA" hand sign.
Knight leaps off the top rope to the canvas and continues to prepare for the upcoming match he has.
LET ME SEE YOU PUT EM UP,
REACH THE SKY, TOUCH THE STARS UP ABOVE
CAUSE IT'S ONE TIME FOR THE UNDERDOG
The crowd rise to their feet as a superstar comes out to the public eye. The crowd go berserk as only Spike Dudley comes onto the stage. Spike looks out into the crowd, pointing out to them, whilst putting the 3D sign in the air. He smacks his stomach and begins his walk down the ramp, not looking in a good mood.
The fans lean over the rails, asking for high fives with Spike listening, granting the fans some slaps before he begins to run and slides into the ring. The fans are still cheering for the smallest of the Dudleyz as he climbs the turnbuckle. He once again slams his chest with his clenched fists.
He grabs his glasses without lens, putting them onto his head as he turns around to face LA Knight. His theme music stops playing as the referee tell them to ring the bell and the bell ring.
Both men tie up as they test their strength against each other until LA gets the upper hand. Spike pushes him to the ropes as LA bounces back and he knocks him down with a clothesline. He yells "YEAH'' and he smirks as Spike is mad. He grabs Spike and he suplexes him as he quickly covers him. But Spike quickly kicks out before the count of one and Knight keeps on stomping on him until he picks him up. LA Knight whips him to the turnbuckle as the back of Spike hits the turnbuckle hard and he crashes onto the canvas. LA is laughing and he walks over as he picks him up again. He places Spike on the turnbuckle as he starts delivering some chops to the chest of Spike and then he stops. Spike blocked it as he grabbed LA and he placed him on the turnbuckle. He starts giving his own chops while the crowd cheers for him and he stops. He climbs on top and he starts punching Knight to the count of 10 until he stops as he gets off the turnbuckle. He places the dizzy LA Knight on the turnbuckle as he performs a huge hurricana off the turnbuckle and LA Knight's body crashes onto the ring floor.
Mauro Ranallo: Wow. What a huge hurricana from Spike Dudley.
Tom Phillips: That should be it!
Spike crawls over and he covers Knight for the pin as the referee counts.
1....
2.....
and a kick out.
Tom Phillips: No
Mauro Ranallo: I honestly thought he had it for one minute.
Corey Graves: You should never underestimate the talented LA Knight for any second he is in the ring. He is full of surprises.
Spike grabs LA Knight as LA points him in the eyes and Spike holds his eyes while the referee checks on him. LA Knight takes him down with a neckbreaker and puts him in a chinlock. LA Knight tightens the hold as Spike tries his best to get out and the referee checks on him. Spike looks like he is about to faint and the referee begins to count as he raises his hand before dropping it.
1..........
The referee lifts the hand and he drops it again.
2.........
Mauro: It looks like Spike is out?
The referee grabs Spike's hand and he drops it before he sees Spike is moving his hand.
Tom Phillips: Looks like Spike is still alive in this match!!
Mauro Ranallo: That's why he is the biggest underdog!!!!
Spike gets up as he elbow Knight in the stomach and he takes LA Knight with a DDT. He stares angry at LA as he starts pounding his chest and he grabs LA Knight. He whips him to the turnbuckle and he runs to LA Knight and he drops kicks him in the face. Spike grabs him as He hold onto his face and he turns to the turnbuckle where he plans to hit him with the Dudley Dog. But Knight drops him off the turnbuckle and Spike lands outside onto the floor as LA smiles. He slides out of the ring as he grabs Spike and he whips him to the steel steps. Spike crashes into the steel steps as LA Knight starts talking trash and he grabs Spike. LA brings him over to the table and he places Spike onto the table as he slides back into the ring to stop the count. He slides back out and he walks over to the table and he climbs up. He and Spike started trading punches until LA Knight got the upper hand as he grabbed him. He plans to hit him with the Gravy Train as Spike reversed it and he hit a huge Piledriver onto the table. The table breaks as both men are down and the referee begins the count.
Mauro Ranallo: Oh My God!
Tom Phillips: Spike hit a huge Piledriver on Knight on the table.
Corey Graves: Both men's bodies are definitely broken in half after that!!!!!
1...........
2...........
3..........
4...........
5............
6...........
7........
Both men begin to move as the referee continues the count.
8...........
9....
Both men jump into the ring as they break the ten count and they both get up slowly. They start trading punches until LA hits him with the Blunt Force Trauma and Dudley is down as LA covers him.
1........
2.........
and kick out.
LA Knight's eyes widen as he can't believe it.
Corey Graves: How the hell did that loser kick out? Everyone knows LA Knight got it!!!!!
Mauro Ranalo: What a huge kick out at the last minute.
LA Knight angrily walks to the referee and he begins to complain that it was a three count while Spike gets up slowly. Spike finally stands up on his two feet and he rolls LA Knight for the pin as the referee begins the count.
1......
2.....
and kick out.
Mauro Ranallo: Spike almost got the win!!!
Corey Graves: Good thing, LA Knight kicked out at the last second!!!!
LA Knight is boiling with anger at the moment as he almost lost the match and he ran at Spike. Spike ducks a clotheline as he headbutt to the chest of LA and he whips him to the turnbuckle. Spike walks over to the turnbuckle as he lifts up LA Knight onto the turnbuckle and he climbs up. He climbs up and he hits a huge Tornado DDT off the turnbuckle on LA Knight as it stuns LA Knight. SPike gets up as he is prepared to finish Knight off and LA Knight finally gets up. He is still dizzy from the Tornado DDT that he had taken earlier and he shakes it off before he turns around as Spike awaits with a smile on his face. Spike grabs LA Knight as he performs the Dudley Dog and LA drops him. Spike's head onto the turnbuckle and he turns around while LA Knight prepares to finish him off. LA Knight hits the Bottom Rung and Spike Dudley is down as he covers him for the pin.
1...........
2...........
3
Announcer: Your winner is LA Knight!!!!
Mauro: That is all folks.
Corey Graves: LA Knight has proven once again he has risen supreme in UWF.
Tom Phillips: Spike may be the biggest underdog, but it didn't help him win his match against the rising superstar LA Knight.
LA Knight begin laughing as he get his hand raised by the referee and he turn to look at Spike Dudley. He walk over to Spike and he starts delivering some more stomps onto him as he stops. He lift Spike up and he hits the Bottom Rung again as Spike is knock out unconscious. LA Knight pick him up again as he throw Spike's lifeless body outside of the ring and he raised both of his hand into the air while he admire his work. The scene fades and ends with LA Knight celebrating his win while the medics tend to Spike Dudley.
Both men tie up as they test their strength against each other until LA gets the upper hand. Spike pushes him to the ropes as LA bounces back and he knocks him down with a clothesline. He yells "YEAH'' and he smirks as Spike is mad. He grabs Spike and he suplexes him as he quickly covers him. But Spike quickly kicks out before the count of one and Knight keeps on stomping on him until he picks him up. LA Knight whips him to the turnbuckle as the back of Spike hits the turnbuckle hard and he crashes onto the canvas. LA is laughing and he walks over as he picks him up again. He places Spike on the turnbuckle as he starts delivering some chops to the chest of Spike and then he stops. Spike blocked it as he grabbed LA and he placed him on the turnbuckle. He starts giving his own chops while the crowd cheers for him and he stops. He climbs on top and he starts punching Knight to the count of 10 until he stops as he gets off the turnbuckle. He places the dizzy LA Knight on the turnbuckle as he performs a huge hurricana off the turnbuckle and LA Knight's body crashes onto the ring floor.
Mauro Ranallo: Wow. What a huge hurricana from Spike Dudley.
Tom Phillips: That should be it!
Spike crawls over and he covers Knight for the pin as the referee counts.
1....
2.....
and a kick out.
Tom Phillips: No
Mauro Ranallo: I honestly thought he had it for one minute.
Corey Graves: You should never underestimate the talented LA Knight for any second he is in the ring. He is full of surprises.
Spike grabs LA Knight as LA points him in the eyes and Spike holds his eyes while the referee checks on him. LA Knight takes him down with a neckbreaker and puts him in a chinlock. LA Knight tightens the hold as Spike tries his best to get out and the referee checks on him. Spike looks like he is about to faint and the referee begins to count as he raises his hand before dropping it.
1..........
The referee lifts the hand and he drops it again.
2.........
Mauro: It looks like Spike is out?
The referee grabs Spike's hand and he drops it before he sees Spike is moving his hand.
Tom Phillips: Looks like Spike is still alive in this match!!
Mauro Ranallo: That's why he is the biggest underdog!!!!
Spike gets up as he elbow Knight in the stomach and he takes LA Knight with a DDT. He stares angry at LA as he starts pounding his chest and he grabs LA Knight. He whips him to the turnbuckle and he runs to LA Knight and he drops kicks him in the face. Spike grabs him as He hold onto his face and he turns to the turnbuckle where he plans to hit him with the Dudley Dog. But Knight drops him off the turnbuckle and Spike lands outside onto the floor as LA smiles. He slides out of the ring as he grabs Spike and he whips him to the steel steps. Spike crashes into the steel steps as LA Knight starts talking trash and he grabs Spike. LA brings him over to the table and he places Spike onto the table as he slides back into the ring to stop the count. He slides back out and he walks over to the table and he climbs up. He and Spike started trading punches until LA Knight got the upper hand as he grabbed him. He plans to hit him with the Gravy Train as Spike reversed it and he hit a huge Piledriver onto the table. The table breaks as both men are down and the referee begins the count.
Mauro Ranallo: Oh My God!
Tom Phillips: Spike hit a huge Piledriver on Knight on the table.
Corey Graves: Both men's bodies are definitely broken in half after that!!!!!
1...........
2...........
3..........
4...........
5............
6...........
7........
Both men begin to move as the referee continues the count.
8...........
9....
Both men jump into the ring as they break the ten count and they both get up slowly. They start trading punches until LA hits him with the Blunt Force Trauma and Dudley is down as LA covers him.
1........
2.........
and kick out.
LA Knight's eyes widen as he can't believe it.
Corey Graves: How the hell did that loser kick out? Everyone knows LA Knight got it!!!!!
Mauro Ranalo: What a huge kick out at the last minute.
LA Knight angrily walks to the referee and he begins to complain that it was a three count while Spike gets up slowly. Spike finally stands up on his two feet and he rolls LA Knight for the pin as the referee begins the count.
1......
2.....
and kick out.
Mauro Ranallo: Spike almost got the win!!!
Corey Graves: Good thing, LA Knight kicked out at the last second!!!!
LA Knight is boiling with anger at the moment as he almost lost the match and he ran at Spike. Spike ducks a clotheline as he headbutt to the chest of LA and he whips him to the turnbuckle. Spike walks over to the turnbuckle as he lifts up LA Knight onto the turnbuckle and he climbs up. He climbs up and he hits a huge Tornado DDT off the turnbuckle on LA Knight as it stuns LA Knight. SPike gets up as he is prepared to finish Knight off and LA Knight finally gets up. He is still dizzy from the Tornado DDT that he had taken earlier and he shakes it off before he turns around as Spike awaits with a smile on his face. Spike grabs LA Knight as he performs the Dudley Dog and LA drops him. Spike's head onto the turnbuckle and he turns around while LA Knight prepares to finish him off. LA Knight hits the Bottom Rung and Spike Dudley is down as he covers him for the pin.
1...........
2...........
3
Announcer: Your winner is LA Knight!!!!
Mauro: That is all folks.
Corey Graves: LA Knight has proven once again he has risen supreme in UWF.
Tom Phillips: Spike may be the biggest underdog, but it didn't help him win his match against the rising superstar LA Knight.
LA Knight begin laughing as he get his hand raised by the referee and he turn to look at Spike Dudley. He walk over to Spike and he starts delivering some more stomps onto him as he stops. He lift Spike up and he hits the Bottom Rung again as Spike is knock out unconscious. LA Knight pick him up again as he throw Spike's lifeless body outside of the ring and he raised both of his hand into the air while he admire his work. The scene fades and ends with LA Knight celebrating his win while the medics tend to Spike Dudley.
We head to the backstage area where Jeremy Borash is standing in the parking lot.
JB: Jeremy Borash, here in the backstage area waiting for the new signing here in UWF. Soon a limo will be pulling up with what some might say is the biggest signing in history. Oh, wait… here he is!
A limo pulls up to the arena and parks in the middle of the road. The limo driver gets out and opens the passenger-side back door. Out steps a black cowboy boot and there he is. J E Double F J A Double R E Double T, Jeff Jarrett.
Jeff Jarrett: Oh Jeremy Borash it's a great day in the world of professional wrestling. Jeff Jarrett is back in the limelight and in a new promotion no less. Listen up Slap Nuts, you know as well as I do what happens when Jeff Jarrett comes into and new place.
Jarrett pulls out a guitar from the limo and starts to walk to the locker room.
Jeff Jarrett: I have the stroke in the wrestling business that whatever I say goes. That goes for the boys and girls in the back, it goes for the management in charge. Listen in a few months they will be handing me every title on a silver platter. As the Last Outlaw, it's my duty to hold up my end of things.
The cameraman trips on a crack and stumbles.
Jeff Jarrett: What’s wrong with you, slap nuts? You think you can ruin the King of the Mountain's big debut.
Jeff Jarrett winds up and smashes the guitar over the cameraman's head and the camera falls to the ground and breaks
As, “See Me Shine” by Bone Thugz-n-Harmony begins to play, the UWF fans immediately begin to boo as they know who the theme music belongs to and who they’re inevitably about to have to look at. Not missing a beat, out walks Batista with the Hollywood Championship proudly on him as he makes his way down the ramp to the ring.
Tony Chimel: From Washington, D.C. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds. He is the reigning Hollywood Champion and the leader of The Guild, the, “Hollywood Animal”, BAATIIISSSSTTTTAAAA!!!
Batista goes to the nearest turnbuckle and ascends it, using the opportunity to show off the belt once more before stepping down and getting ready for the match ahead.
A lion synthethetic violion whispers through the air like a pterodactyl screech. Soon, a breakbeat ripples beneath. Strobe lights illuminate the entranceway. When the riff kicks in, it heralds the arrival of the Diabetic Dragon. Kyle O'Reilly storms out onto the ramp, fists, and jaw clenched, looking like the quiet kid on a bad day while his step-sister Bayley follows close behind. He does some shadowboxing at the head of the ramp while Tony announces his stats.
Chimel: On his way to the ring, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at 200 pounds... Kyle O'Reilly!
Our beloved Canuck's pace is in lock-step with the groove en route to the squared circle. The fans in the arena born on the good side of 9/11 know the words and can't help but sing along when the chorus drops. Feeding off that energy, Kyle is spiritually compelled to shred some air guitar as he steps through the ropes to compete. He rocks the heck out with the UWF Universe before getting ready to friggin fight. Bayley, meanwhile is backstage.
Tom Phillips: "Bayley is in the back Kyle and Batista are about to try and murder one another; I DON'T see this ending well for either man..."
Mauro Ranallo: "They aren't awaiting any bell here we go!"
The referee tentatively calls for the bell but the two men don't even wait for the friggin bell to ring, The two men not waiting to kill the other they begin swatting at each other like flies as "DING DING DING" the two men pay no heed as they head into war, Kyle whips out a quick spinning kick to the rock hard abs of the animal, but Kyle's foot had been turned into a sledgehammer as Batista bows over, Kyle then follows up with a kick to the chin of Batista. Still not enough to get the man of Stuber fame off his feet...'
Tom Phillips: "A quick flurry of precise kicks by O'Reilly whose purpose in this match is to try and murder Batista"
Corey Graves: "There is a reason Batista is your Hollywoo Champion"
The diabetic dragon looks to keep the heat in the kitchen as he runs to the ropes on the rebound, Batista catches the flabby waist of Kyle lacking as he charges shoulder first nearly ripping the Dragon into a type two diabetic as in two halves of Kyle with type one diabetes, Batista doesn't want to go for the pin instead opting to smash O'Rielly's face in with a few elbows giving him free orthodontist work in the process of trying to remove a few bad teeth...
Tom Phillips: "The MMA background of Batista on full display"
Corey Graves: "I mean what can't this man do he can wrestle, he can act, and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he had a good set of vocal cords to boot..."
The fans only want one thing and that's violence Batista knowing gets to his feet grabs the tights of Kyle and throws him like a lawn dart straight toward the steel post playfully hiding behind the turnbuckles but Kyle is able to use the steel post to stop himself using his head, Batista smiles as Kyle hangs over the turnbuckle. Batista rolls out of the ring and goes under the skirt of the wrestling ring, A few tricks and hidden things under the ring but Batista pulls out the most boring weapon available a steel chair, Chairtista swings the chair down cracking it off the top of the spine of Kyle...
Mauro Ranallo: "SiCkeNing blow to the back of the neck"
The animal moves quickly after the quick love tap as he threads Kyle's arm through the chair as he wedges it between the turnbuckle and the apron, Batista goes under the ring apron for a second time, Batista still the vanilla boring man he is pulls out a sledgehammer followed by some pliers, He throws the pliers right beside his work station as he climbs up the steel steps, Batista using lifts up the sledgehammer above his head before allowing gravity to do its work and brings the head down right on the canuck's shoulder as the impact dislocates and removes the shoulder from its usual socket as the Canadian diabetic screams out in agony...
Mauro Ranallo:"I have no idea what to say the sledgehammer right on to the shoulder. It could be a possible dislocation or even possibly torn, This match might need to be stopped in it's tracks
Batista rests the heavy sledgehammer on the dislocated shoulder as he moves over to the pliers he prepared earlier, He grabs the hand and begins to squeeze down putting all his mass into the leverage of the pliers as blood starts to pool at the unlucky fingernail of Kyle's finger. Kyle starts friggin' really struggling to get free of the torture setup Batista has masterminded. A crowd member throws an empty beer bottle toward the two wrestlers, Kyle using his diabetic superpowers catches the head of the bottle he uses it on Batista's stupid head. Batista drops the pliers as Kyle quickly frees himself from his restraints...
Corey Graves: "You can't use your diabetes senses in a match like this, It's crazy!"
Tom Phillips:"Kyle on the same wavelength as our great crowd..."
Corey Graves: "Kyle must of paid him before the match what rubbish!"
Kyle rolls out of the ring and he runs around the outside of the ring his arm dangling and moving with a mind of its own as he uses the steps to launch himself towards Batista catching him with a gnarly knee, Kyle spills over the top of Batista as the knee connects rolling to his feet, Kyle looks down at his dislocated shoulder as he calls over the bell keeper and whispers something into the bell keepers ears for only between the two. Kyle continues with his assault as Batista is already on his feet, Kyle grabs the screens off of the commentator's desk before swinging it down onto Batista's forehead, sparks fly everywhere as Kyle isn't an electrician and didn't disconnect the power...
...
From the entranceway a familiar face is seen rushing down to the ring, Bayley, she rushes to Kyle's side and she makes an "oh shit" face when Kyle presents his arm to her he shakes his head as Bayley being a good friend gives Kyle a bear hug on that side as a pop can be heard in the front row, It's back in its socket; I assume none of us are doctors. Kyle pushes Bayley off as she keeps the hug going for an awkward amount of time. Bayley offers to help Kyle kick Batista's ass but Kyle wants to murder him all by himself so he shakes Bayley's hand and she goes on her way to the back...
Corey Graves: "Just in time we got power back to our booth sorry for the power surge cut power to our whole announce desk, What in hell is Bayley doing down here?"
Tom Phillips: "This must have had something to do with Kyle's message he wanted to be relayed to the back; Calling in reinforcements to help pop his shoulder back into place to continue this grueling fight"
Kyle goes under the ring, He brings out everyone's favorite weapon, A piece of A4 paper, He moves over to Batista who is still being shocked by the surge of power in the monitor that still has yet to be disconnected, Kyle removes the monitor from his he as he places his knee on the shoulder as a paperweight to stop Batista from running. Kyle places the paper between the fingers of Batista as he violently pulls back leaving a deep paper cut, Kyle not getting enough pleasure from just one begins counting down between every finger...
Mauro Ranallo: "OH Humanity Kyle is taking his time to torture Kyle"
One hand down as the last pull from the last paper cut causes Batista to wail in pain, The psychotic look on Kyle's face as he sees the other hand of Batista ready to be cut to shreds by his paper prowess, Batista tries to play keeps off with his hand but Kyle's weirdly long fingers get him the advantage as he pulls back right between the thumb. Batista having had enough pain sits up grabbing hold of Kyle with his paper-cut-ridden hand, As Batista gets to his feet Kyle has an idea to get out of the bad situation, Kyle violently uses the paper to try and rip around the right eye of Batista, which only just misses and gives a gnarly paper cut right above the eye of Batista who has no choice but to let go of the Canadian...
Corey Graves: "Nearly taking the eye out of Batista"
Batista tears the paper from Kyle's A4 Paper before tearing it right in front of O'Reilly he throws the pieces in the face of Kyle who responds how any sane person would respond with a headbutt right to the nose of Batista which sends him stumbling back. Kyle notices a cord between the now broken monitor and the desk, He rips the wires from the desk they stand about one meter long, Enough for what Kyle has in mind, He wraps the cord around the still-stunned animal as he cinches back on the wires leaving no way for oxygen to animals bloodstream. Batista begins to resemble a beetroot...
Tom Phillips: "Kyle is trying to squeeze the life out of the Champion..."
Corey Graves: "We need that cable back we don't want to have another power surge!"
Kyle doesn't stop relenting as he wraps the cord around for about the sixth time no longer having any more cable to choke Batista out with, Kyle has Mr. Hollywood on his knees as he uses his boot to apply more pressure on the neck...
Mauro Ranallo: "The Animal might be slain right here..."
Kyle is about to finally achieve his life goal of murdering Batista but tragedy strikes as the cable snaps releasing all the tension on Batista's neck. The animal coughs and splutters as he tries to catch his breath Kyle has another idea as he goes under the skirt of the ring as the canuck looks for another toy to play with...
Tom Phillips: "Kyle is already on his way to find another weapon to use against Batista..."
Batista catches a glimpse before anyone else as he uncharacteristically throws his hands up; O'Reilly turns as he reveals to the crowd the little something, something he was hiding, It's a fully loaded shotgun, Batista goes to turn for cover but mid-rotation the crazy canuck pulls the trigger. Batista falls to the ring and the bruises and welts on Batistas back almost show instantly the crowd is sprayed with salt as the impact on the back causes the rock salts to violently explode...
Tom Phillips: "O'RIELLY'S GOT A GUN"
Mauro Ranallo: "GRAB THE GUN FROM HIM, SOMEBODY GRAB THE GUN"
Batista turns towards O'Reilly who is now standing with the shotgun in one hand as he aims it at the head of Batista, The Canuck has anger in his eyes, Batista in an act of defiance grabs the barrel of the gun using it to pull himself to his feet, The Animal uses his height advantage as he bends the barrel upwards of the gun as the Diabetic Dragon pulls the trigger on the shotgun the gun fires the salt rock up into the lights above the ring which causes it to rain glass...
Tom Phillips: "If I were Kyle I would run the Animal doesn't appreciate being shot!"
The gun is ripped from the hands of O'Reilly as Batista uses the butt of the gun to smack Kyle right in the snout, Batista follows up with another strike with the shotgun striking the neck with malicious intent. The Animal winds up another shotgun whip to the side of the head which puts Kyle on dream street. Batista throws the gun to the crowd, Kyle is on the ground probably with a concussion of sorts, as Batista searches the ring for yet another weapon...
Tom Phillips: "Kyle needs a gun to inflict half the damage Batista can do with his bare hands..."
Mauro Ranallo: "It's inhuman to bend the barrel of a shotgun with one hand..."
Batista pulls out not one, not two but three tables as he pushes one after another into the ring, Batista is not done with his plan as he goes down once more and pulls out a steel collar attached to a meter-long chain; Batista moves over to O'Reilly as he places the collar around the neck of Kyle as he pulls out the padlock from under the ring as he locks and secures the steel collar to the neck of Kyle as he throws the key into the crowd. Batista begins to pull on the chain lead dragging the canuck along the outside of the ring as he gets into the ring he makes sure to carefully throw the chain over the top rope...
Corey Graves: "I've said for years that someone needs to put a leash on O'Reilly like a dog he is.."
Batista yanks on the chain as the chain grows shorter Kyle begins getting hoisted as his feet leave the floor, Kyle is kicking his feet as the steel collar crushes his airways as he is locked in. Batista ties the chain around a ring rope allowing him to free up his hands, Kyle claws at the collar but it can't get over his big head...
Tom Phillips: "Batista has a plan and he knows exactly what he is doing it's unsettling..."
Mauro Ranallo:"Kyle is being hung from the ring, O'Reilly hanging OH MY GOD, Batista is out of control! "
Batista sets up a table before using it as a base for a second table on top and the third over the corner of the ring, Batista smiles as in one fell swoop pulls the chain bringing Kyle over the ropes forcefully, Batista lifts Kyle onto the corner table as he gets on the trouble following the canuck. He stands atop the table as he puts up a thumbs down signaling the downfall of O'Reilly...
Corey Graves: "Batista looking to put Kyle through the tables to send home the message..."
Batista puts the head of his opponent between his legs before he lifts him up onto his shoulders, Batista gains his balance before power bombing Kyle through one, and two tables Batista gets down from his corner and looks at the broken mess of wood and man as he looks to continue the assault...
Tom Phillips: "Batista not going for the pin this isn't about winning or losing it's about beating the hell out of the other man..."
Corey Graves: "Noones better than Batista at that Tom..."
Batista picks up the pliers still on the ring apron; Batista kneels getting close to the broken mess as he scoffs at the sorry sight, He brings the pliers up before clamping and twisting on Kyle's ear. The blood flows from Kyle's ear as he pulls himself away from Batista ripping his lower ear lob in two. The shock on Batista's face as he was quite enjoying the hopelessness displayed by O'Reilly...
Tom Phillips: "I'm going to vomit"
Mauro Ranallo: "I can't look at the monitor "
Corey Graves: "O'Rielly's ear is in two!, I agree with you Tom this is sick..."
Batista throws the pliers to the side. Batista decides it's about time to lift Kyle by one-half of the newly split lower lobes and pulls Kyle to his feet, Blood is rushing down the side of his face. Kyle in an act of defiance throws a few left and right palm thrusts stepping forwards as the Hollywood champion has to try and block the flurry of blows...
Tom Phillips: "Watch O'Reilly go with these proficient strikes used to throw Batista off guard..."
Kyle throws a high left kick which rocks the inner ear of Batista silly, O'Reilly looking to inflict as much damage as possible on the downed beast as he goes under the skirt to look for another weapon of mass destruction, Kyle ever the savant for lethal weaponry pulls out a can of gasoline as he begins throwing gas over the top rope as it soaks around half of the ring. Kyle throws the empty gas can as it bounces off the head of Batista...
Mauro Ranallo: "The kick has put Batista down momentarily, Oh no you can't do this Kyle!"
Tom Phillips: "Kyle is looking to see this match off in a blaze of glory..."
Kyle is seen stuffing something in his tights as he searches for more weapons to utilize. While looking he throws a box of tacks which spill across the gasoline-soaked ring, Kyle finally pulls out his weapon a baseball bat wrapped in the finest Italian barbed wire, Kyle gets into the ring and he swings for a home run...
Mauro Ranallo: "Home Ru--"
Batista catches the bat mid-swing with one hand as blood begins to run down his hand, the blood and gasoline must sting the animal, as he shakes his head at Kyle who took too long setting up...
Corey Graves: "Oh Batista stopping the bat with one hand he doesn't look happy to have barbed wire in his hand right at this moment..."
Tom Phillips: "Kyle better think quick!"
Kyle goes into his tights before throwing out a piece of paper which combust as its thrown towards the Animal, The flames catch Batista right in the face as the gasoline on his body is set alight, Batista's first instinct of stop, drop, and roll is the wrong one as half the ring quickly ignites the flames burn high as Kyle's barbed wire baseball bat evolves into a flamin' barbed wire bat...
Tom Phillips: "The barbed wire catching fire..."
Batista smothers the flames on himself but the ring has no hope of being put out by the two hundred and ninety pounds of human muscle. Kyle uses his flaming bat to push down Batista's shoulder blade as the barbed wire cuts into the skin the flames cauterize the wounds almost instantly, and Batista shows signs of pain which is unusual for him. Kyle laughs before swinging straight down onto the neck of Batista as the bat gets stuck in the neck of Batista...
Mauro Ranallo: "MAMA MIA THE RING HAS BURST INTO FLAMES!"
Tom Phillips: "Kyle literally and figuratively put the heat up in this match.."
Kyle rips the bat up doing so he removes a few chunks making Batista's weight more akin to two eighty-nine pounds, Kyle stands to the side of Batista before placing the bat between the legs of the animal, He swings back before swinging right for the family jewels of Batista...
Mauro Ranallo: "I can smell the burning flesh from the ring"
Corey Graves: "Chunks flying out of Batista's back"
The bat snaps in two as the bat has met its match, Batista's manhood is too much for the bat to handle so Kyle throws the half of bat still in his hand to the ringside. Kyle places the head of the animal between his legs as he goes to lift him up, Batista stands up using his legs to send Kyle crashing into the canvas right on the thumb-tacks O'Reilly setup...
Tom Phillips: "Right onto his own thumbtacks with fire embers to the pain aswell..."
Batista falls to his knees before stumbling to the opposite corner as Kyle pulls himself through the debris of melted plastic and tacks as both men look to have taken a literal blood bath, Kyle gets to his feet and turns to the opposite corner as Batista rushes through the burning ring...
Tom Phillips: "Both men scrambling to their feet as they look to reengage..."
Kyle quickly catches the head of Batista using his moment to lift him up and back down with a snap, Batista goes through the table in the corner of the ring, that the animal had set up which was now smoldering and still burning. Bastia crashes through the table as the burning top ropes, that supported the weight of the burning table, snap with the added weight and tension...
Mauro Ranallo: "The ring is collapsing all around us, Batista and Kyle both seem hellbent on destroying the other..."
Kyle rolls out of the ring and stumbles onto his knees, Kyle goes under and pulls out a pizza box which is thrown into the ring right in front of Batista, Kyle gets in the ring and he opens up the pizza box, He removes a pizza cutter and he lifts the head of Batista as he goes to town with the pizza cutter, blood begins to pour down the face of the animal...
Tom Phillips: "We need to go to a quick advert..."
Corey Graves: "We'll be right back after this THIRTY-second ad..."
Tom Phillips: "Welcome back"
Kyle breaks the pizza cutter blade a quarter of the blade is still stuck in Batista's forehead. Kyle goes to exit the ring, but He is stopped dead in his tracks as Batista has grabbed hold of the chain still following behind Kyle, Batista gets to his feet and Kyle looks up at Batista who looks utterly pissed, Kyle throws a wild elbow strike which connects on the chin of Batista who powers through the strike to deliver a knee as he puts his head between his legs and hoist him up, Batista goes to the ropes where he sends Kyle over and right onto the apron as the Canuck bounces spine first off the apron...
Mauro Ranallo: "OFF THE APRON; BATISTA TRYING TO BREAK KYLE INTO TWO"
Batista smiles but is shaken when Kyle gets to his feet blood streaming from his split ear, his back torn up from the tacks and the collar chain around his neck, Batista exits to the right side of the ring as both men have the same idea for a weapon rush both men choose their weapons, Kyle quickly straps a metal pad over his kick pad, Batista goes for the simple yet effective brass knuckles and they both enter back into the ring as they circle each other through the debris and smoldering flames strewn across the ring...
Tom Phillips: "The two men looking to duel..."
Corey Graves: "The ring looks like a warzone..."
Batista goes straight for the right hook but Kyle uses his metal kick pad to deflect the blow with the brass knuckles, Kyle follows up by going for a leg sweep with his other leg which Batista responds by stomping on the knee of the sweeping leg as it makes its rotation stopping it dead in its tracks. Batista goes for a brass knuckle strike to the back of the head but Kyle pulls the leg from under Batista as he has the Animal on his back he twists the knee upwards as the Hollywood star looks for a way out...
Mauro Ranallo: "Kyle is finally using his technical prowess where he has an advantage..."
Batista uses the raw power of his legs to power out sending Kyle stumbling across the room, Both men with urgency get to their feet and stare each other down both men go for each other at the same time, Batista goes for the overhead punch with the knuckles as Kyle goes for the roundhouse kick right behind the ear; Both men connect simultaneously as both men fall forwards from the deadly trade-off, Both men unresponsive they don't twitch a muscle, The feeling of uncertainty is in the air as the onlookers try and catch a glimpse of who will be able to take advantage...
Tom Phillips: "They are both down!"
Corey Graves: "I mean it's obvious those two men just knocked each other the fuck out..."
Down the ramp run the Guid, They quickly slide into the ring as they lift Batista to his feet, They lean Batista up against the turnbuckle as they turn and they use Kyle as a door mat as they stomp off their feet, The two get stopped as Batista yells a few expletives, Miz and Goldust lift Kyle to his feet Batista begins to lock in the end credits...
Tom Phillips: "This can't happen trying to steal the win with the help of his goons..."
The two Guild members realize a potential threat running down the ramp, It's Bayley again. She hits Goldust who meets her halfway down the ramp with a lariat as she continues the b-line to the ring, She ducks the Miz who attempted his on Lariat as she hits yet another lariat putting Miz to the ground, Batista lets go of the end credits as Kyle crumples to the floor, The Animal cracks his fist ready to fight...
Bayley is not scared as she ducks the right punch attempt and connects with a kick to the knee of Batista which buckles, Bayley goes to the ropes behind Batista as she looks for the rose plant but Bayley goes face first as she rebounds into the canvas, Golddust laughs he lets go of the boot of Bayley...
Corey Graves: "That's a great supporting actor if I ever saw one!..."
Batista gets back to his feet to direct traffic, He orders Goldust and Miz to make sure Kyle can see what he is about to do as the two men hold an arm each of O'Reillys, Batista places his arm around the neck of Bayley as he locks in the End Credits, Bayley is tapping but she isn't even in this match, Batista cinches the hold even tighter as Bayley continues to tap...
Tom Phillips: "Bayley isn't even in this match this is just to make O'Reilly suffer"
Corey Graves: "Its called mind games Tom....."
Kyle physically can't move as the two fresh members of the Guild who haven't gone to war hold him in place, The only meek thing Kyle can muster is "help.." Kyle tries to release the hold but Golddust steps on the chain still around his neck causing even more restricted movement for the Diabetic Dragon, Everything seems hopeless as Bayley begins to pass out...
Mauro Ranallo: "IT'S DESPY HE IS HERE TO SAVE HIS ROOMMATE FROM THE GUILD..."
Corey Graves: "Where even is he. It must be some tri--"
They look down the entranceway as the crowd knows the familiar tune, They know it's Despy. Batista releases the hold on Bayley leaving her just about dead. Before the Guild can react from the crowd Desperado jumps up onto the barricade and from there onto the apron, In one swoop Despy springboards and dropkicks both men off Kyle as they get sent through the middle rope, Batista isn't able to catch Despy as he goes for the corner turnbuckle where he launches himself into Miz and Goldust who are getting to their feet with a beautiful moon sault...
Tom Phillips: "The supporting actors taken out in one quick motion this is exactly what was needed..."
Desperado quickly goes under the ring and pulls out three kendo sticks, He rolls into the ring as Kyle gets to his feet he throws him one, Batista tries to block the first cane but deflects it as Despy dual wields the kendo's wildly swinging one after the other, Kyle quickly joins in as Batista is being smacked either side nowhere to go but backward...
Tom Phillips: "Batista in the middle of a Kendo Stick Party both Kyle and Despy double teaming Batista..."
Batista takes a few more steps back as he runs into a human wall, Bayley has recovered from the end credits as Despy gives up one of his canes as the three begin circling around Batista hitting him high and low with kendo sticks, Batista can't stop one as he gets struck by another, Batista begins to get cuts from the bamboo splinters from the sticks as blood begins trickling...
Tom Phillips: "Bayley gets the keys to join the party as they are running a merry-go-round of kendo stick torture on Batista..."
The Miz and Goldust grab the Diabetic Dragon from behind in reaction to save their friend. Bayley and Despy stop the kendo assault and Batista falls to his knee, Bayley and Despy begin striking Miz and Goldust both at the same time in tandem as the kendo sticks to break and crack their kendos at the same time they turn and fist bump...
Tom Phillips: "Finishing it off in style with the double snap crack and pop..."
Batista comes from nowhere and nearly tears the two in half with a vicious spear, The Animal kicks both people out of the ring, As he turns to finish what he started, Batista hooks at the beginning of the End Credits. Kyle grabs the chain around his neck as Kyle whips it backward, The chain hits Batista right in the nose he releases the credits for a second time as Kyle and Batista stand...
Mauro Ranallo: "A double spear from out of nowhere..."
Corey Graves: "Batista is the leading man he can do this all on his own, Look what Kyle has done with the chain disfiguring the Hollywood Star who is going to pay his insurance premium..."
Batista's nose is hanging to the left, Batista goes to strike with the Brass knuckle as Kyle uses the chain around the arm of Batista, He is able to use the chain to wrestle the animal to the canvas, Kyle wraps the remainder of the chain around the neck of Batista as he pulls back, Kyle locks in the vanilla bar as he uses the chain for extra leverage...
Tom Phillips: "The crossbar locked in as Kyle using the chain for some extra leverage..."
Batista has no escape as Batista begins to fade, Kyle cinches back as Batista fades, Batista goes to tap but the Diabetic Canuck grabs the hand of Batista...
Tom Phillips: "Kyle doesn't want Batista to tap he wants to choke the life out of him..."
O'Reilly doesn't want him to tap he wants him to die, Batista rips his tapping arm free as he goes to tap he suddenly goes limp, Kyle realizing this decides fuck you Batista, and pulls back pulling the arm right out of its socket, The pop is loud as the referee has already gone to call for the bell...
Tom Phillips: "I think Batista is out!"
Mauro Ranallo: " O'Reilly adding insult to injury popping out the shoulder much like Batista did to start this match..."
DING DING DING
Tony Chimel: "The winner of this match by referee stoppage, Kyle O'Reilly...
Kyle gets to his feet and he raises his hand to victor, He falls to his knees from blood loss as Bayley and Despy on either side embrace as the three of them hug, They did it they beat the guild. Kyle is unable to walk on his two feet as the Guild assists Batista to the back, Kyle is happy to have his friends by his side as they head to the top of the ramp where the trio look out to the sea of adoring fans, Bayley heads to the back leaving Despy and Kyle to have a sweet moment...
Kyle and Despy embrace as they are glad to have survived, Despy and Kyle hold hands before walking to the back to presumably get Kyle's ear stitched back together...
Video static interrupts the broadcast, with the video now splitting between a fuzz-filled screen and a pitch black still. The black screen slowly fades into an image.
The logo of the United Empire fills the screen front and centre, leaving only a short while for itself before the broadcast refocuses itself, this time on one man, lavishly dressed, standing on his lonesome in an obviously cold and dismal setting (better known as England).
The man, clear to viewers as Will Ospreay, glides a sneering glance at the camera, his attention caught offscreen for a moment by a conversation. Clearly a busy man pressed by time, he hurriedly dismisses them, directing his full focus towards the sole camera at this point.
"The Commonwealth Kingpin" Will Ospreay:
"UWF."
Will pauses for a moment, allowing the company's name to burn and sear into the viewer's thought.
"The Commonwealth Kingpin" Will Ospreay:
"Hellooooo UWF... and oh bruv, what a company this is, hm? A greener pasture where wrestlers go to etch their names into the annals of wrestling history and cement their legacy into time's ever-winding roads. An endless pathway akin to Hollywood's 'Walk of Fame' with names of people like Daniel Bryan, Kevin Steen, Chris Jericho, or so my agent has told me. Or, at the end of their tenure, it can just be a retirement home for the declining wrestlers of the past, desperately clawing at the feet of each and every company begging for a tiny, tiny droplet of relevancy once more. Or, even better, a home for the new up-and-coming superstars who find themselves way in over their heads, giving their careers in to a sacrificial potluck with no reward other than to abscond back into the shadows of mediocrity after being pinned over and over and over against low-card fighters like the unestablished, uncompetitive, hopeless indie scum they very well often make themselves out to be. It's always been an issue with fighters coming here just to pass into the abyss a few weeks later, because the weak are pushed out by the strong. But enough about this company already, lets do my favourite thing, lets talk about MYSELF. Walk with me."
Will gives a direct point at himself, smiling lightly towards the viewer as he begins to touch upon his favourite subject of dialogue. He faintly nudges the camera backward with a firm hand to put his entire imposing figure into view. With subtle acknowledgement, the cameraman follows his direction and begins to walk with Will at the same pace, keeping the subject within the centre of the frame at all times.
"The Commonwealth Kingpin" Will Ospreay:
"For those wondering why I would bother myself with coming here in the first place, the answer itself is quite simple. See, once you prove yourself and become a household name across the world, across every company, with only one place left with sights to see, with more people lining up to have their heads clatter against my elbow, to pad the trophy cabinet with the whole nine yards, you can really begin to put 1 + 1 together. But I need to make our relationship here clear, alright? I don't need the UWF, I don't beg and plead to find myself in the likes of you people, and I certainly don't need to be commiserated. The UWF needs me. The UWF needs the United Empire's Commonwealth Kingpin to put this sprawling roster directly in it's place. And I'm proud to announce that that's exactly what I'm here to do."
The Commonwealth Kingpin ushers over a worker upon the set, he grasps a cigarette from his coat pocket and sits it in his mouth, now taking off and handing his coat to the worker before shoo-ing him away with a single hand wave. He takes the cigarette from it's sitting positing upon his lip and holds it between his index and pointer finger as he begins to talk.
"The Commonwealth Kingpin" Will Ospreay:
"Now as much as I could talk about myself forever, I'm on a time crunch, and I don't fancy standing around in this shithole for eternity. But lets all keep in mind that here in UWF, I have absolutely nothing to prove to a single soul on this roster or in this universe. And with this now all said and done, I'll give you some time to breathe before I step in the ring, you don't have to thank me either, that's on the house. See you soon."
Will ushers the worker over once more, handing him the cigarette and uttering "Light it." as the scene closes and the normal broadcast starts to resume, with the screen from his vignette slowly fading into black.